Essie kept her back to Luke, throwing the occasional glance over her shoulder. It was a look of irritation, possibly suspicion, and Han laughed every time she did it.
"You know something we don't?"
She handed Han a coloured ring and said, Down, or at least what he and Leia interpreted as her word for down. Han, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of her, held the ring aloft.
"Are you ignoring a direct order?"
He looked at Leia curled up at one end of the sofa.
"Nah. We got an arrange…" Han lost his chance as Essie reached up and took the ring back, stacking it on top of the others on the peg.
"Too slow, Hot Shot."
"Not likely." He narrowed his eyes at Leia then turned back to Essie. "She's changing the rules on me."
Essie picked up the peg and turned it upside down, scattering the rings around them. This routine could keep her occupied for a surprisingly long time. Usually she hummed and talked as she dumped then rebuilt the ring tower, or pile of blocks, or reorganized toys. She had a few words they knew—down, shoes, crackers, blanket, thranta, which sounded more like fanna, and might be interchangeable with bantha—and as long as they were listening, Essie was happy. But she remained mostly quiet and cautious for this round.
"I do feel guilty about Threepio." Leia pulled her feet under her and tucked in the blanket around her. "I shouldn't since he's technically your droid now but it does seems like a lot to ask of General Rieekan."
Essie rubbed her eyes before picking up another ring. Han chuckled at how much sleepy Essie looked like her mother.
"Threepio definitely gets on Rieekan's nerves." Luke sipped his tea then put the mug down on the table beside the armchair. He was dressed all in black, a military style jacket and tall boots. At first glance it looked almost Imperial but a closer look revealed the more threadbare quality of an Alliance-era outfit. "But he's been a great help on the intelligence side of things. They couldn't decipher messages on the boards Jorga sent through until Threepio recognized it as a long dead dialect from Knesst."
Luke rested his elbows on the arms of the chair and clasped his hands in front of him. He somehow managed to look both relaxed and in control.
"They finally get something on who's after Leia?" Han stretched to the side for a ring that had rolled farther away. "Been so long, figured they'd forgotten all about it."
Truth was, they weren't talking about it much in their house either. In Leia's mind, there was no point discussing who might be after her, or the leak in High Command, if there was no new information. It was a waste of energy. They had a mission to complete and that was her focus.
Mon hadn't phrased it like an order. Said as a member of High Command it was Leia's choice, but they had a unique advantage having Leia and Han behind enemy lines. If they were willing to stay long enough to set up communication channels, perhaps gather as much information as possible, secure agents, it could mean a significant turn in the war effort.
They gave themselves a few months, figured six at most, to set up an info pipeline. If it didn't happen by then, they'd consider it a lost cause and head back. But it was a bit of a mystery what exactly needed to happen to make that call. Admitting anything was a lost cause wasn't really Leia's style.
"Madine has agents working on it, and Jorga, but it's slow."
"And they think they got more important shit to do."
"Because they do." Leia made sure to catch Han's gaze. "The war has grown considerably since we were there. They have more allies but also more enemies. They can't lose sight of the big picture over these lesser details."
"Someone trying to take you out isn't a lesser detail." He was about to put the ring on the peg but stopped to gesture toward her. "A leak in your precious High Command could mean a hell of a lot more than your safety."
He looked down at Essie when he felt her hand on his sleeve, trying to pull the ring closer. Said, Down, again. He passed it to her than ran a hand over her head. Her soft, light brown hair. He had no idea a kid's hair could be so soft and he couldn't get enough of it. He stood over her crib plenty of nights, once he trusted himself to not wake her, to get in one more touch.
Leia thought maybe he was blond as a kid. There'd been lots of holos of her so they knew she'd always had dark hair but he was a mystery. Sometimes he watched Essie, trying to pick up traces of himself, some evidence of Jaina, but it was all Leia. Her smile, her dark eyes. Her personality, too. Essie was stubborn but also laughed a lot and had a wicked sense of humour. Ten months old and she already knew how to tell a joke. Mainly some version of attempting to hide then surprise them with a toy but she was in hysterics every time.
Han picked up another ring and spun it on his finger. She watched with wide eyes as he flung it into the air, caught it and dropped it on the peg. Essie clapped her hands together, letting out a wild cackle.
"Sounds like you finally found your audience."
Essie went silent and gave Luke a quick shoulder check, like she suddenly remembered he was there.
"Sorry, Essaryne." Luke held up a hand and looked genuinely apologetic. "Didn't mean to disturb."
"I honestly didn't know anyone could have this reaction to you, Luke." Leia laughed then attempted a serious expression when she saw Essie's face. "I'm sorry, Love. I wasn't making fun."
Han cupped both Essie's cheeks and kissed her forehead. She didn't laugh in response but also didn't look quite as pissed.
"She'll warm up to you." Leia smiled at Essie again before turning back to Luke. "But she needs to do it in her own time."
Luke looked over at Essie, who had already returned to her toy. "I'm confident we'll be friends whenever she's ready."
It had taken treaty-level negotiations getting Luke to Eloira. It all looked legit with messages going back and forth on the holonet and family message board. They petitioned through Burnesh to get a travel visa for Liliana's brother Owen to visit and it took almost a month to approve. Han thought it was idiotic going to all that trouble. He smuggled for the Hutts, got contraband and stolen goods through Imperial space. He could sneak one Jedi into Sulltarr. But they'd spent far too long reconnecting cells, getting access to Burnesh, getting closer to the Governor's office and Ol'rem, and Leia didn't want to screw it up with some half-cocked scheme. Not when they were so close to completing the mission.
Luke arrived that afternoon, a few hours earlier than expected. Left his ship and Artoo near the port and walked to the house. Han and Chewie were in the shop finishing up some crates for delivery when the sensor went off. It was obviously Luke on the security monitor walking down the lane, recognizable even in the heavy, dark cloak, but it still took a few seconds to register. His pace was slower, more deliberate. There wasn't that same ready to pounce energy.
Han walked out and stood at the end of the lane with arms crossed. He'd been on edge lately. Trying to start fights, mostly about his next deliveries or any trivial thing he could pick at, and didn't realize how much tension he was holding until that moment. A slow smile started creeping up as he watched Luke approach. Noticed Luke's smile doing the same.
He looked older, which made sense since they hadn't seen Luke for almost a year and a half and he'd had at least two battles with Vader in that time. That had to age a guy. He wore a black glove on his right hand so Han guessed that was the mechanical one. His hair was darker, less sun bleached, and face scarred. One looked like a remnant of the Wampa attack but there were others. There were stories, probably more than Luke would ever tell. Han understood that instinct, it was a central tenet to his life, but the opposite of the kid they left on Hoth.
But the hug was all Luke. A tight embrace and big laugh. He felt solid. Definitely not the scrawny farm boy from Tatooine.
Han didn't know what to say. He knew he missed Luke. They talked about him plenty, and not just when Leia needed to be talked down from a bad feeling, or those weird moments when he popped in. Han missed him in all kinds of ways and circumstances, like helping Dix fix up the cottages for winter and trying to fix water recyclers that were straight out of Tatooine vaporizers. Or playing Sabacc with the Ysper crowd. Luke was an inconsistent player but he always made it interesting.
The last time he saw Luke, they were on Hoth saying a quick goodbye before the Imperials landed. It was before he knew Leia was pregnant. Before everything shifted down a completely new path. Han didn't know and probably wouldn't understand anything Luke had been through since Hoth, and the reports they got were slim, but he also didn't think he could explain anything that happened to them either. And Han didn't want to explain it cos he was too busy living it.
Chewie suddenly appeared at his side, practically lifting Luke off the ground.
[You look like a Jedi.]
"Oh good. The wise old Wookiee is here." Han rolled his eyes. "Was the cloak the giveaway? You must think half the people on this planet are Jedi."
Chewie ruffled Luke's hair. [It is still a struggle for Solo to see what is right in front of him.]
Luke laughed and didn't bat Chewie's hand away.
"It's one of his defining traits." He slapped Han's shoulder again. "It's a thing, too. Might not have recognized him without the bloodstripes."
He looked down at his outfit while Chewie and Luke shared another laugh. The bloodstripes were tucked away in one of the Falcon's storage closets along with Leia's snowsuit and whatever bits of Rebel regalia they still had. He was wearing his new uniform. Dark cotton pants and an apron with deep pockets to hold his tools. Leia gave it to him on the day she'd decided was his birthday and he'd tried to argue that he didn't need a birthday or a gift or an apron.
"Luke!"
They all turned toward the house to see Leia standing by the open front door. She was wearing a different top than when he last saw her, likely the result of some Essie incident, and a pair of loose linen pants. He loved those pants. Loved that she dressed so comfortably these days. Loved that he could slip his hands past the waist band or up the legs so easily.
Luke moved quickly. The energetic bounce was back. He was on the front step with Leia, embracing her in a tight hug, in seconds. They both looked ecstatic, like they'd just destroyed another Death Star.
[It's nice to see Skywalker. She looks happy.]
Leia stepped back but held on to Luke's hand. Laughing as her other hand went to his cheek. Her eyes were bright—maybe there were tears—and eager. She was taking everything in, soaking Luke's presence up all at once.
"Yeah." His heart did a little flip. "Happy's good."
She wasn't the one being shitty this past week. That was all him. Leia was happy Luke was on his way. Excited to finally get info on the war, get direct details on Endor. Find out what happened with Vader and the Emperor. She had chunks of his stay already worked out. Tourist visits that aligned with cell meet-ups and sites with suspicious activity. She wanted him to meet Essie, got a bit teary-eyed sometimes talking about Essie having another uncle.
Han knew he wasn't jealous of Luke. Not really. Or maybe jealous wasn't the word. He knew he and Leia were happy. Knew she looked at him in ways she'd never looked at anyone else. Had no doubts about their bond or commitment. But there was something about her and Luke that he didn't understand. Something he couldn't name. Han swallowed hard and gave his head a quick shake. He didn't need to go back down that road.
[I'll finish up.] Chewie started toward the shop. [There's only a few crates left to assemble.]
Han untied his apron and walked toward the house. Leia flashed him a quick, bright smile as he slipped past them and into the house.
Essie was in her high chair, leaning to the side so she could stare out the door at her mother's back. A biscuit was clasped in one hand and a piece of cheese in the other. Han stood in front of her, blocking her view and she leaned further to look around him. So, he pulled a stool over and spun her chair toward him.
"You gonna finish that?" He gave her cheese hand a small shake. "Or is that for me?"
He moved closer, mouth open, going for the cheese. Essie responded with wide eyes and a slow smile. By the time he was close, ready to snap up the cheese should she release her tight grasp, Essie was convulsing with laughter. She shoved the cheese into her mouth, very pleased with herself for outwitting him.
"Okay, take it slow. You need to chew."
She continued to laugh, mouth open, everything exposed. It wasn't a good look. He still didn't get how anyone thought a little kid eating was cute but he could live with the view of half chewed food if that laugh came with it. Essie picked up another piece of cheese and held it out for him. The plan was obvious—entice him in then snatch it away—and he fell for it every time.
Leia stepped inside with Luke right behind her. She moved immediately to Han's side, resting against him as her arm went around his shoulders and his arm around her waist. Simple, easy gestures. He liked how they claimed each other.
"And this is Essaryne." Leia smiled down at her. "Essie, would you like to say hello to Luke?"
Essie looked down at her tray. Moved some of her crackers around. It was the reaction they expected. Shy avoidance. Her usual response to someone new.
"Hello, Essaryne." Luke moved closer, stepping into her field of vision. "I'm excited to finally meet you."
Essie stared at Luke, brow furrowed, for several seconds. Luke was smiling but he also had an oddly calm look going. Han glanced up at Leia and she seemed just as confused by the exchange. Essie, however, turned away from Luke and burst into tears. She lifted her arms to Leia, demanding release from her highchair but even that didn't calm her down. She wrapped her arms around Leia's neck and the sobbing only escalated.
They both jumped into crisis mode. Essie didn't seem to be hurt. Neither of them noticed anything that might've set her off, other than a stranger in their midst. Rocking her didn't help and she refused to go with Han. Even Chewie coming back inside didn't distract her.
Essie had a temper but she wasn't big on dramatics. This happened now and then, usually when she was beyond tired and refused to consider sleep as an option. Once she got a scare from a speeder revving its engine and she was inconsolable for a solid five minutes. But he and Leia knew what to do and could work her through it. They knew their kid.
Though it wasn't so straight forward when she had a fever. Essie had cried and whimpered and pressed her damp forehead into his neck and it killed him that he couldn't do anything to fix it. The med centre gave them pills and told them to come back if it lasted past another day or got much worse but waiting it out didn't feel like a great solution.
He didn't want to leave Essie alone. Kept his cool but hovered. Slept on the sofa with the monitor on or in the chair in her room, though he didn't get much sleep, so he could be at her crib in seconds. Any change in her breathing, any additional whimper, was an alarm. When her fever finally broke, he still didn't want to her put down. The recovery felt like a small miracle despite everyone telling him it was a normal childhood sickness because what the hell did normal even mean.
"Maybe you should give Luke a tour." Leia rubbed a hand up and down Essie's back, wincing as Essie pulled at her hair. "Hopefully, she'll adjust with some recovery time."
Han waved Luke out the back door. Essie's crying had thrown him off. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around the yard like he was seeing it for the first time. Luke seemed curious, though, asking lots of questions about the house, so Han pointed out a few things. The back space they'd fixed up, Chewie's garden. They'd done a lot of the work slowly, adding and replacing things in the house over time with the understanding they were leaving soon, maybe any day, but Han could see the dent they made. It wasn't the same place they found when they were desperate for safe shelter.
He took Luke over to the shop. Showed him the crates he and Chewie were building. Demonstrated the small hatches at the bottom of the compartments where they could hide the transmitter pieces. The crates were designed to carry the jars of preserves Leia and Tank filled. They figured if guards or Imps suspected smuggling, they'd go for the jars and not notice the secret chambers hidden inside the crate. Luke nodded a few times but didn't say much. Admitted he was more curious to see the Falcon.
They'd done work on the ship, too, tuning and upgrading. Supplies were fully stocked with non-perishable food, water, medical supplies, extra clothing and fuel. He also had go bags at the house, packed and ready. If something happened they could get out fast.
"Looks like you've maintained evacuation protocols."
Luke walked through the ship with hands clasped behind his back like he was on military inspection. Han had to stop himself from snapping back, reminding himself this was Luke, not an Imperial Officer giving him a hard time. Luke was ribbing him, it's what they did to each other, but he didn't get it. Han had no intention of being trapped in wild space without resources again.
When they stepped back into the house, Leia was sitting on the sofa with the Essie in her lap. Leia looked at him with wide, relieved eyes as she handed Essie the remaining pieces of her snack. Essie was calm now, no more tears, but she also steadfastly refused to acknowledge Luke's presence.
The next few hours were an information dump. Luke sat on a stool by the kitchen table and filled them in on what they'd missed. The Rogues were still flying some missions with Wedge as Commander but most had taken on new roles. Wedge was doing more intelligence work with Rieekan and Tycho was helping locate and assist any Alderaanian refugees still in hiding. Wes had taken over training new recruits, working out of Hosnian Prime, and Cyn had moved over to Mon's communications team. She was now stationed on Chandrila and writing speeches and press releases. New enemy factions were aligning and every week seemed to bring something new but the New Republic had control over a large section of the mid-Rim and several core worlds, including Corellia and their ship yards.
Leia had a thousand questions about negotiations and treaties that Luke couldn't answer.
"Mon sent a dossier for you. I'm going to guess all that info is in there."
"What do you know about the Steacyns? There has to be a bigger story there."
Luke laughed and shook his head.
"Honest, Leia. I'm not in those rooms and only hear about the deals once they've signed. As far as I know, the Steacyn negotiations were led by General Galadotte but that's all I've got." Even though Essie wanted nothing to do with him, Luke was finding it hard to not stare at her. It had to have been weird for him seeing their kid. "I help out in an official capacity sometimes but Mon's given me permission to mostly pursue my own research."
"Mon gave you permission." Leia tilted her head. She'd found the edge she was looking for. "Not High Command."
Luke laughed again.
"Exactly. Our arrangement is I have free reign but I report back my findings and only to Mon, Rieekan or Madine."
He was on the hunt for hidden Jedi or Force-sensitive beings who didn't know the power they possessed. Artefacts and books, anything that might contain information on the history or practice of the Jedi. He wanted to re-establish a Jedi Order but didn't have a clear picture what that might look like. It wasn't only that so much had changed in the past few decades, he was starting to wonder if things were as solid before the purge as he had assumed.
"The few Jedi I have located aren't anxious to return to the old ways. They see it as moving backwards." Luke turned to look out the window, staring out into the darkness. "I've yet to meet anyone who isn't weighed down by trauma and emotional scars. I was hoping for some guidance but it's hard for most of them to revisit the topic."
Leia leaned forward to take Luke's hand. She smiled as his eyes refocused on her. Han noted the quick squeeze before releasing their grasp and Leia returned to her seat.
This was all familiar. They all slid into their old roles easily. Luke and Leia cycled through Rebel, now New Republic, news and Jedi talk. Chewie threw in a few comments as he moved through the kitchen making dinner. Han scoffed at the parts he thought were overblown. They could've been on the Falcon, sitting in the lounge and killing time mid-mission. Luke seemed a bit odd, like he was watching and taking mental notes, but he was mostly Luke. Han wondered if he thought the same thing about them. Got a kid now, don't seem to fight as much, but mostly Han and Leia.
The only real conflict happened when Chewie asked about Kashyyyk. Luke didn't exactly defend the New Republic doing nothing but he was a hell of a lot more understanding than he should've been. Even Leia could barely muster a defense. Admitted the decision didn't sit right with her but insisted she couldn't fully condemn the decision if she wasn't there for the discussion.
Han argued Chewie's side but felt an extra tug for her. It took a lot for Leia to not toe the party line. She tended to defend High Command's decisions because she believed in a unified front or whatever the hell she called it. But she also lived with a Wookiee who was getting angrier by the day that his planet was still stuck under Imperial rule.
[Kashyyyk fought for the Old Republic with the Jedi. We defended the Jedi against the Clones.]
"They've said there's simply too many battles right now." Luke lifted his hands in surrender. He didn't want Chewie to think it was his call. "They don't have the fighters to spare to launch a campaign."
[Any Wookiee would fight. We need only the resources and firepower.]
"No one likes this answer, Chewie. Believe me. There's plenty who would help if they could."
Chewie wasn't mad at Luke, not really, but he was angry in general lately. More prone to making impatient and irritated comments. No one in town knew he was insulting them or their politics or insisting only masochists could live with so much rain but Han worried he'd blow a full gasket one of these days. The longer they stayed in Sulltarr, the more frustrated he became. Chewie understood the mission and was in it to win but he'd hoped Luke would arrive with better news. They all did.
"You might as well get it over with Luke." Leia brushed her hair back from her face. Tucked loose strands behind her ears. She was feeling self-conscious after Luke spent half their dinner commenting on how strange it was to see her without braids. "You're delaying the inevitable. Tell us the big news Madine's discovered."
Essie dropped another ring on the peg then sat back with a sigh. She was either slowing down or losing interest.
"They have information but haven't made sense of it yet." Luke crossed one leg over the over. He was settling in for the long discussion. "They have to sift through rumours, including ones they started, and they aren't sure how to corroborate the information they've found. Not easy to fact check."
New Republic intelligence, likely with Jorga's help, had planted stories about Leia and Han around the galaxy, flooding the market with conflicting stories. The Falcon was destroyed and there were scraps to prove it. The Falcon was in the Corporate Sector with an upgraded hyperdrive. Han was spotted on Nar Shaddaa. Leia was seen on Coruscant, Corellia and the mid-Rim. Mon vehemently denied any contact then a grainy holo was leaked with the New Republic Chancellor meeting with a small, dark-haired female. The idea was to get a reaction from the boards, get them talking, in the hope that more info would follow.
"But they've obviously found something. Spit it out."
Leia watched as Essie picked up another ring then turn around. She crawled quickly, a hell of a lot faster than you'd think a baby holding a ring in one hand could, over to the sofa. She pulled herself up and handed Leia the ring.
"Thank you, Love." Leia pulled Essie into her lap. "Sit with Momma for a bit."
Leia arranged Essie on her lap so she faced Luke and Essie didn't complain.
"Madine briefed me before I left." Luke smiled briefly at Essie and all remained calm. Maybe they were finally out of the danger zone. "It's still Mon, Carlist and Crix. I think the only field agent with direct knowledge is Jorga. Lando, too, but he only talked to Rieekan and me. He moves through some nefarious communities but my sense is he can be trusted."
"Han thinks so, too."
"Think I'm more suspicious about where you picked up words like nefarious." Han stretched his legs out in front of him. Sitting on the floor took more out of him than he liked to admit. "But yeah, we can probably trust Calrissian on this one."
Seeing Lando in the square on Sgoona sent Han into crisis mode. His entire body reacted. Hand to holster. Exits and obstacles mapped. His first instinct was to shoot. Create chaos. Do as much damage as possible. He knew Leia didn't need warning—she'd have his back no matter what happened—but there was Essie. The old ways were too risky. So he nodded, acknowledging their situation, then followed Lando's signal to meet him around the corner.
When they stopped to talk in the stairwell, they did their usual chest bumping. They were friends, mostly, but competitive. The Falcon, obviously, but also jobs, cards, women. Whatever was in front of them. They had different goals—Lando was more interested in prestige and all those trappings—but that didn't stop them from trying to screw each other over. But once he realized Lando was working with the Rebels, and seemed genuinely relieved that Han was alive, his fight-or-flight relaxed some. Thought he could convince Lando to stay quiet about their run-in then head off their separate ways.
Leia showing up wasn't really a surprise. He sensed Lando's interest peaking—knew he wasn't reacting to the blaster so much as the beautiful woman—but didn't feel the need to compete. Seeing Leia ready for whatever, ignoring his plan to wait because anything that could go wrong usually did, made him forget about Lando. Sgoona, the war, everything that led them to that stairwell. There was only what was right in front of him. Leia and Essie. He could take whatever Lando dished out because Han knew he'd already won.
And Lando did try. Talked up his money-making plans and prospects. New contacts. All the places he planned to land. Reminisced about the women they've known and the fun they had. When Han didn't bite, Lando leaned into the disbelief angle. The mystery of how Han landed a Princess. Ended up fighting for the Rebels.
"Though maybe I shouldn't sell you short." Lando raised an eyebrow and gave him a discerning look. "Hiding from Jabba disguised as married and a father might be brilliant. No one would suspect that one."
"Technically, not married." Han leaned against the railing. He could see into the room Leia was sitting in. Her legs stretched out across the bed. "But the wife and kid's not a disguise."
Lando responded with a low, rumble of a laugh. "I always knew you were a sap deep down."
Han guessed he probably rolled his eyes, tried for a hard-bitten, nothing affects me stare. The comment called for a snide reply but standing on a hotel balcony with one of his oldest friends, who Han suddenly realized wouldn't sell him out because there was more involved than credits and competition, he'd let it slide.
Essie leaned over, arching her back so she was almost perpendicular to her mother. Leia pulled Essie's hand down when the ring hit her in the face and repositioned her in her lap.
"Unfortunately, they aren't sure how to interpret the information that has shown up." Luke rested his hands on the arms of the chair. "They are calling themselves the House of Pernassus or Soldiers of Pernassus."
Han expected Leia to have the same what the hell look but her eyes narrowed. She was listening closely.
"Does Pernassus mean anything to you?" Luke's look was almost as intense.
Leia shook her head.
"Not really. There was the Pernassians but I don't see how that could be relevant. I'm not the expert on Elder House history my mother and aunts were but I know the Pernassians were a minor group that existed maybe five hundred years ago. I doubt if anyone has mentioned them much since."
"The last reference Threepio or Jorga could find was 877 years ago."
"And they think there's a connection?"
"It's more that it's the only connection they've discovered. The same group that talks about you, addresses rumours about sightings and seems to be connected to the assassination plot, seems to have named themselves after a long defunct Elder House subset. Mesry's name came up. Polcheirin gas, too." Luke tilted his head to look at Essie. He smiled as he watched her lazily suck on the ring. "Too many connections even if they don't understand how it all fits together."
"Perfect." Han didn't feel great about this development. They were either heading back into a plot with no real suspects or a shit show full of dark-holonet conspiracy theorists.
"From what they've gathered, the Pernassians were a conservative sect even by thousand-year-old standards. Pushing for autonomy for the Houses outside the Republic."
"I understand why they might see there's a connection but what would any of that have to do with me." Leia ran a hand over Essie's head, looking down to gauge Essie's level of sleepiness. Essie turned so she could rest her free hand on Leia's breast. "I don't see how I could affect the return to rule or Elder House authority. I am the last member of the House of Organa. It ends with me."
"There's also Essaryne."
"And no one knows about her." Han's voice was edging on threatening. "And if no one knows she exists then she isn't a part of it."
"I don't think there's any reason to think she's in danger. Not as far as the Parnassus goes or whatever the plot against Leia might be." Luke nodded at Han. He had that I know more than you think look again. "I was only pointing out that the House of Organa does not end with Leia."
"There is no royal house, Luke. I'll still act as leader of the diaspora if they want me but from the little we've seen on the news, many have moved on. And rightfully so."
"Have you heard about Ryl Crolis?"
Leia's brow furrowed again. This conversation with Luke was forcing her to access a lot of old information in her memory bank.
"Distant cousin on my mother's side." She moved to accommodate Essie's stretch, her arms tightening to keep her daughter in place. "His family left Alderaan generations ago. We've never met. I know that much."
"He's done some interviews with the press. Hasn't come right out to say it but seems to indicate he has a claim on the House."
"Surely no one is taking him seriously." She shifted Essie higher up in her lap. "Why would he want to be the leader of a destroyed world when he has little knowledge or experience with the culture or the people?"
"Money." Han laughed. "He wants access to the funds."
"That's what everyone assumes." Luke nodded a few times. "Mon hasn't made a public statement about the maybe-claim but conferenced with King Jahn when Crolis first went public. Apparently he was worried about the same thing so set up a decree within the Houses. Unless they have definitive proof of your demise, which I suppose means a body, you are considered missing. If you are missing for five years, you will be declared dead and the funds will be redistributed."
Leia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Han recognized the signs. She was getting overwhelmed. Thinking about Alderaan and her parents, the responsibilities she was ignoring as they hid out on Eloira. She'd pushed some of those worries aside to focus on this mission but they never went away. She still woke up scared or crying some nights. Still clutched his arm, not wanting to be alone in it.
Leia took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Looked over at Han, letting him know she was okay.
"Well, we'll be back with the fleet soon and this won't be an issue." She shifted again to sit on the edge of the sofa. Essie moved her hand to pull at Leia's shirt and sweater. "Do they think there's a connection between Crolis and the Pernassus?"
"They haven't found one so far." Luke shrugged. "As I said, more questions than answers."
"Honestly Luke, everything you've told us so far is only frustrating me more. The entire investigation feels haphazard. I'd rather we talked about something concrete. Tell me more about your return to Kalmar." Leia looked down at Essie as she continued to fidget. Catching Essie's hand before it slid inside her shirt. "You know, my darling girl, you aren't being terribly subtle."
"Ready?" Han nodded toward Leia as he pushed himself off the floor.
"I can do it." Leia stopped a second attempt without even looking down. "It's my night."
"Nah." He stretched his back, hearing a small crack. "I know where this conversation is headed. No offense, Luke, but not too interested in Jedi artefacts."
Luke raised a hand. "None taken."
"You talk. I got this." He slipped his hands under Essie's arms and lifted her up. She easily settled against his chest. "Not sure she's gonna last long anyway."
Leia stood and kissed Essie's cheek. "Do you want to say goodnight to Luke?"
Essie dropped her head on Han's shoulder without even a glance Luke's way.
"Sorry." Han shrugged. "Maybe next time."
Luke smiled and gave a small wave of acknowledgement.
"Luke and I can sit out back. One less distraction for Essie." Leia grabbed the blanket from the sofa. "And we probably only have a few more nights like this before the rains start."
Han left them to get organized and went into Essie's room. As soon as the door closed behind them Essie gave a lazy wave and said bye.
"Perfect timing." He lifted her higher to kiss her belly before lying her on the change table. "I'll pass on the message."
Han had this part down. He quickly removed Essie's clothes and diaper as she kicked her feet and started in on her soft babbling.
"You don't say. That's a tough point to argue against." She grunted a response as he picked her up again. "Bath then book. Ready?"
He got them into the fresher in time to turn off the tap—Leia obviously trusted his timing—and checked the temp before lowering Essie into the small tub. She wasn't crazy about baths but if they kept it moving she didn't complain much. Han knelt down and lathered up the wash cloth.
"What's that song Momma sings?" He started on her back, working in small circles. "Can you sing it for me?"
Essie half-sang—a tune Han didn't recognize—and half-cooed as she splashed the water around her. Han wasn't too crazy about bath time either. Too much crouching, often ended up as wet as Essie, but it was unavoidable. And he liked the after bath routine of patting her dry then wrapping her in a big towel as Essie snuggled in warm against his chest.
Sometimes Han watched Dix and Aendi with their girls and almost dreaded what he knew was coming. When they landed in Ysper, Calla and Basia were still hug and cuddle ready. They crawled into laps. Wanted to be carried on shoulders. More than a year later, Calla turned eight and insisted she was too old. Basia, at almost six, was teetering on the edge of following her older sister's example and getting in as many hugs as possible.
Essie handed him a small boat then smiled, knowing what was next. Han dunked the toy to fill it then squeezed so the water shot out against her chest. She squealed with laughter and splashed water all around them in excitement. His shirt was now soaked and that was entirely on him. He knew the risk. He ran the washcloth over her neck, got behind her ears, as she slapped her hands on the water, blinking against the splash.
Essie was so little the first time he held her. Fit so snug in his arms, even though it took him a few tries before feeling confident he wouldn't drop her. Essie wasn't exactly big now but bigger. Her own person. Still needed them but not every minute and those stretches were getting longer. Babies stopped being babies. Kids grew up.
Han grabbed a towel, one of the ridiculously soft ones that Leia decided was worth the splurge, then lifted Essie into his lap. He quickly dried then wrapped her up. Raised the last bit so it went over her head like a tiny hood.
"Looking like a mini-Jedi." Han chuckled as he stood up, keeping her pressed close in his arm.
He rubbed Essie's back making sure she didn't feel the living room chill as he checked the heater. Seemed to be working fine so he chalked it up to leaving the warm fresher and wearing wet clothes. He pulled a bottle from the conservator and put it in the warmer. Essie held on to his collar, calmly watching him prepare the bottle. It was a routine they both knew well.
Han looked up, realizing Luke and Leia's voices were coming in through the open kitchen window. Luke was asking about the house and who lived here before them. Leia was trying to explain Brehm then started laughing because the Tank connection and what happened to Brehm didn't make a lot of sense to her either. Han closed and locked the window.
"Your Uncle Chewie forgets we're not all covered in fur." He kissed Essie's nose. It was a little button nose that he hoped would grow to look like Leia's and not his. "And we don't need to make that heater work any harder than it already is."
Essie leaned in to kiss Han's cheek. She didn't quite get how it worked—it was all open mouth and wet—but it made his heart do that little flip every time she tried.
"Love you, ya little nut. Do you know that?" He kissed her cheek with a loud smacking sound.
Han pulled the bottle from the warmer, stopped to grab some dry clothes from the hamper by the auto-valet, and closed the bedroom door behind them.
It was a quick change for both of them. Diaper and pajamas for Essie. Then he put her on the floor by her small book case while he slipped into an old t-shirt and pair of sweat pants. He bought the pants during their first Eloiran winter when he needed an extra layer against the damp. He'd been almost embarrassed wearing something he associated with giving up but comfort won out and he liked the ritual of putting them on in the chilly evenings. Though he usually waited till Chewie went back to the Falcon cos he didn't need that hassle.
"Did you pick one?" He knelt beside Essie, looking over the books she pulled from the shelf. "Let's narrow it down. How about Go Bantha, Go? The Lost Star?"
He picked her up and settled them into the chair before she had the chance to realize she'd left The Littlest Pittin behind. It was her latest obsession and they'd already read it four times that day alone.
Essie nestled into the crook of his arm, holding the bottle on her own. He kept one hand nearby in case she needed bottle support as the other held the book. He rested an ankle on one thigh and raised his knee to use as a book rest. It was a bit of a balancing act but he had it worked out. She listened as he read the bantha book, occasionally hitting a hand against a page to emphasize a point.
If it wasn't bottle time she would've joined in on the go bantha, go chant. She really got into it sometimes but what kid wasn't going to go for it if their parents encouraged cheering. A little riling up never hurt anybody. He and Leia both tried to get her to cheer for their smashball team but Essie was just as likely to shout bantha (or banna) as Dreadnaughts or Dynamos.
Han hadn't paid much attention to smashball since he was a kid. Even then, it's not like he could keep up with stats and games. Saw some matches through shop windows or with Bets after they broke into a house. He snuck into the Coronet City stadium a couple times when he missed curfew with the Worms. He was harder to pick out in the crowds and there was plenty of food to steal. Ate so much that melted cheese that the smell still turned his stomach. Caught a few games once he got off Corellia and laid bets on a few others. But it wasn't until he had downtime and a holo-set that he got into it. And truth be told, that was mostly cos Leia did, too.
They got the holo-set to keep up on the news. The Sulltarrn news service was shitty but they didn't have other options. Once they had Essie tucked in for the night, Leia liked to work and catch whatever scraps the news was offering. She could only last for so long and once the lies and propaganda got to her, she didn't care what they watched. He went for smashball because it required so little of him. He laid on the sofa, always more exhausted from a day of work and Essie then he liked to admit, drinking an ale while Leia worked in the armchair beside him.
It was an easy quiet that was only broken by Leia's comments. She asked about the rules then why the hell the refs could miss such an obvious and flagrant abuse of said rules. She wanted to know about the players and rivalries. When Han didn't have the answers she did the research and spent the next game enlightening him. Their competitiveness hit fast. They both quickly acquired a lot of opinions about strategies, draft selections, and line-ups. They each picked a team. He went for the Corellian Dreadnaughts mostly out of habit and she chose the Dasnard Dynamos because they'd met Mats Sunid, a former player, on Jerebu and it felt like she was also cheering on a fellow Rebel. She often moved to sit with him on the sofa, kicking her feet against his thighs when she got excited.
He figured it would be one of those things she'd want to keep quiet. The public vs. very private Leia. But when their teams faced off in an afternoon game, she invited Aendi, Dix and family, somehow convinced Tank to join, and Menek over. Han joked that she must have searched how to throw a game day party because she had drinks and snacks ready. Made signs for the girls to show support for the Dynamos, which he thought was blatant bribery and accused her of being underhanded and not giving him enough time to make his own. The Dynamos won and Leia strutted around the house for days.
That was the Leia the Rebels never saw. Didn't believe existed. Cyn worked with Leia every day and couldn't see past the control. Sure, it was Leia who kept things locked down but none of them bothered to look either. He didn't really get why Leia was upset about Cyn at the time. He mostly took it as a win when she wasn't pissed at him for not telling her about his history with Cyn. Or not too pissed anyway. And it was Cyn's loss if she couldn't see past Leia's need to keep a respectable distance.
He really only clued in when saw Leia with Aendi. Having a friend she could talk to, share whatever they shared on their own, opened up something for her. Let Leia be more Leia. More opportunities to let herself unfold. Probably how she was before the disaster when she had Dommin and a few others. It gave her this extra spark that Han instinctively knew made his and Leia's relationship stronger. Didn't dampen their need for each other but Leia needed more than him. The circle was always going to be small but she needed a circle more than a straight line.
It was true with Luke, too. He could see it as they talked. The way she took his hand when he got down about the Jedi not rushing to rejoin. Luke was a vital connection for her. Han knew whatever issue he was struggling with was his issue. Luke and Leia were doing fine.
Essie's eyes were starting to droop. She paused drinking and let out a small sigh.
"We'll do The Lost Star then call it?"
She put the bottle back in her mouth and leaned her head against his chest.
The first few times Leia read the book, she cried. A small star finds her way home by following the light left behind by her family. Seemed like the kind of story designed to tear someone like Leia up. Family, home, loss. He liked listening to her read it. Sounded like a lullaby. He sometimes stood in the doorway or nearby, trying to be unobtrusive, to listen in. It was a good one to end the day on.
Their routine was likely going to switch up with Luke here. Watching news and games were probably safe but no more coming down for kaffe without putting on pants. Messing around in the living room was likely out and they'd have to move naptime quickies upstairs. They needed a bedroom door—why the hell didn't he think of that earlier—because they definitely hadn't become quieter over the years.
Leia did him in. Wrecked him on a regular basis. Made it damn difficult for him to hold it together at times. She still surprised him. Finding new ways to blow his mind. Like demanding, Don't come yet. She'd support herself with hands against his chest. Face contorted in concentration as she searched for the perfect angle. Rasping out, Don't come. Not yet.
"Leia, every time you say that." Breathing was more difficult than expected. The sound of them together. The slick and the slap. Leia biting her bottom lip as she edged closer and closer. "Makes it harder."
"Hard is what I'm after."
Did she actually think making him laugh was going to help? But his general rule was, whatever Leia wants. It might take every ounce of will power he possessed but if she needed him to last longer so she could get off exactly how she wanted then that's what he was going to do. He'd make it his own personal mission.
Han closed the book and looked down at Essie. She was awake enough to blink slowly at him but that was about it. He tossed the book on the floor and took her bottle.
"All done?"
He lifted her gently as he stood up. Smoothed his hand over her back while walking her over to her crib. She didn't squirm or make a sound as he lowered her down and pulled her blanket up.
He leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Love you, Sweetheart."
Han watched her for a few moments, her lips pursed into a small 'o', her chest's quick rise and fall, her arms resting on either side of her head. There were a lot of things about fatherhood that surprised him and realizing how much he liked watching his kid sleep was a big one.
He'd just finished getting the books back on the shelf when he heard Leia come back in the house. The door didn't slam but he knew she'd burst through it. Luke's voice came next, a stern but measured Leia. Han gave another quick look at Essie to make sure she wasn't disturbed then quickly and silently opened the bedroom door.
Leia was standing near the front door. Her arms were at her side, straight with fists clenched. Her face looked tight, controlled, and Han could feel her anger from across the room. Luke stood in the centre with his back to Han. He held a hand up to Leia, palm forward like he was trying to calm a wild animal. Han immediately moved to Leia and blocked her view of Luke.
"What's going on?"
He tried to remember the last time he saw her this furious. Something happened outside that moved her to quiet rage and Han couldn't comprehend what Luke of all people could have said or done.
"Luke has news."
Leia looked Han in the eyes and he saw fear mixed in with the anger. He wanted to stroke her cheek, run his thumb along her clenched jaw, but touching Leia in that moment wasn't a good idea.
"Can you give us a few minutes, Han?" Luke was still speaking in a voice he clearly thought was calming. "We need some privacy to talk about a few things."
She didn't break her gaze with Han. He could see her deep breaths, trying to slow her heart rate. Saw her throat constrict as she swallowed. Her pulse points on her neck. There was the smallest flutter of her eyelids then eyes wide again. Pupils large, taking too much in.
"No, Kid. Not going anywhere." He turned back to look at Luke. "You wanna tell me what the hell's going on. And be quiet about it. Don't need you pissing off Essie, too."
Luke dropped his head. Put his hands on his hips and took a few seconds to collect himself. Han stepped back so he could see both of them. Gauge what needed to be done and if a quick response was required. Leia crossed her arms over her chest but didn't otherwise move.
"I don't think this is a good idea." Luke kept his hands on his hips. "Leia, this is something we need to discuss first. It will be easier if I can explain a few things."
"It saves me having to repeat everything to Han later." She had the same look she did back on Yavin. Home world destroyed, family gone, rescued after torture and execution order, but calm and focused. Not backing down. "And this affects him as much as me."
"I understand this is overwhelming, Leia."
"Stop repeating my name like you've just taken a conflict resolution seminar."
"I'm not excluding Han from this conversation. I'm simply saying you and I need to work through…"
"We have a child together! You don't think this affects both of them?"
"Hey! The child is right there and asleep." Han pointed toward the bedroom. "Let's keep it that way."
Leia gave him a quick glance of apology then homed in on Luke again.
"There's no aspect of my life that doesn't directly affect Han and the fact that you think any of this…" Leia waved a hand at Luke. "How did you expect me to respond?"
"I didn't expect it to go well." Luke shrugged, almost tried for a smile. "But it's not all terrible news."
She covered her face with her hands. Let out a long sigh that also might have been a growl. When she dropped her hands again she turned to Han.
"Luke is my brother."
Han stared at her. He heard the words but wasn't sure they were the right words. Maybe she wasn't speaking in Basic and it was taking him time to catch up.
"Brother in what?"
Leia laughed, a small puff of air escaping. He must've looked completely blindsided. A caught in the headlights vibe.
"In blood." She tilted her head as she examined him like she was checking for injuries. "As in twins. As in the same parents. As in separated at birth."
He looked back and forth between them. They both watched him, waiting for it to sink in. It made sense. Mostly. The weird coincidence of their birthdays. The connection between them. Not the easy friendship part because Han experienced the same thing. Though he thought it was because of their intense experience on the Death Star then Yavin so maybe that was only him and the two of them had something more.
"This mean you got the Force, too?"
"Got the Force?"
She raised an eyebrow. She hadn't relaxed but seeing his confusion seemed to have distracted her. Han felt that rush he got sometimes, a lot of times, of how the fuck did he manage to get this woman in his life.
"She does." Luke sounded proud. "She's as strong in the Force as I am. As our father."
"Don't." She spun at Luke. Anything resembling playful energy was gone.
"Essie?"
Luke nodded. He decided to look at Han for now. Probably thought that was the safer choice.
"Essie, too."
"Damn."
Han didn't know what he thought about this revelation. The brother and sister thing, sure. Leia being Force-sensitive didn't seem so off the mark. Her dreams and nightmares were more intense than most. She knew Bespin was going to be a problem. Knew Luke was hurt, heard his voice. But Essie seemed a bit much. Like it was too much to drop on a tiny human.
"Luke thinks that's why Essie didn't want anything to do with him. She was confused by the connection."
"Convenient excuse." Han rolled his eyes trying to get a smile out of her and it almost worked. He looked at Luke. "Did you know? Back when you were meditating together. Did you know you were twins?"
"No." He shook his head. "I found out while I was training. Well after you and Leia went into hiding."
Han did some fast calculations. The sibling thing wouldn't be a problem. She had to see that part as a bonus. It was all surprising, the Force business too, and might take some adjusting but being Force-sensitive wasn't a foreign concept to her. Her parents were all about the Jedi. So why the hell was Leia so angry and Luke so insistent that they needed to talk things out? Why was Leia looking at him, that stare that said she needed him to keep her grounded, trying to keep her breathing in check?
"What aren't you saying?" Han didn't know if he was talking to Leia or Luke but he kept his eyes on her.
"Leia, I think we should talk this through. Come back outside."
"Don't tell her what to do." Han didn't raise his voice and didn't break her gaze.
Tears were forming in her eyes. Her cheeks coloured as she tried to hold it all in. She should be in his arms. He should be kissing her hair, telling her everything was going to be alright, even if he didn't know what everything entailed or what making it right involved.
"It's our parents." She managed to keep the tears away but her voice was a hoarse whisper. Closer to a rasp. "Father."
"Anakin." Han hoped he got the name right. Luke mentioned it often enough but Han didn't always take it in. He cared about Luke, not his father. "Is he not dead or something? He didn't die in the Clone War? The purge?"
He was trying to cover as much ground as possible. Help Leia out so she didn't have to find the words herself.
"He's dead." She slowly exhaled her breath. "Luke killed him."
"What?" Han was really fucking tired of playing catch up. "One of you needs to fill in the details."
"Luke can have that honour. Let's see if he can maintain his positive spin."
"I understand how troubling this must be for you." Luke sounded genuinely upset. More concerned than frustrated.
"I don't think you do." Her voice was sharp. She hit all her consonants with remarkable clarity.
"He saved me. I know he caused tremendous harm…"
"Tremendous harm? Is that what you call it?"
"I'm not being dismissive."
"I don't agree."
"He saved me, Leia. We won because of him."
"Don't you dare disregard the beings who worked for years and sacrificed everything." She was close to shouting now. "We won because of them not because of a last-ditch ploy for redemption."
"I didn't mean to imply…" Luke dropped his head again. He rested his hands on his hips then looked at her. "I know. I was there too. I fought alongside them. I lost friends. Family. Admitting this truth doesn't negate that one."
"But you want me to believe one moment of remorse erases a lifetime of terror."
"Hey!" Han was trying to get their attention but Leia was locked in. "Details."
"I understand forgiveness isn't on the table so perhaps we should put this aside for now." Luke was trying to negotiate. Amateur move.
"You want me to forget? How would that be remotely possible?"
"Not forget. I do understand this is hard to process and maybe it's something you never will. But there are other things to address." Luke stepped toward her. He had his confidence back. "Leia, you've inherited something extraordinary. It's a part of you."
"This is exactly what I don't want to hear! I don't want to carry anything more from that man." She waved both her arms at Luke to emphasize her point. "It's already too much. I've only just, barely, got myself away from the weight of what he inflicted and now you want me to accept that my daughter is connected to him."
"Leia, that has nothing to do…"
They all turned toward the bedroom as Essie called out. A sudden, desperate cry. Han was at the door, in the room with Leia right behind, in seconds. He expected to find her sitting up or standing against the crib's side, demanding to be picked up. They'd never experienced a nightmare with Essie before and her distress was alarming. Second time in one day.
But she was still lying down, her body slightly twisted to the side like she had abandoned the idea of rolling over. Her arms no longer beside her head but stretched out on either side of her. She blinked up at Han a few times before falling back to sleep.
"Is she okay?" Leia leaned over to pull up the blankets. Pressed her hand against Essie's chest.
Han put a hand on Leia's back, his quick signal of reassurance, then stormed back into the living room. He got up close to Luke, made himself as imposing as possible.
"Did you do that?"
"I didn't make her cry. My guess is it was the energy in the room. She felt Leia's stress." Luke didn't back away from Han. He held his ground and tried to keep things calm. "Leia doesn't realize how much she emits her emotions when stressed or angry. Essie is picking up on it."
"Don't fucking blame Leia for anything." He held his finger up, pointed it into Luke's face, because that was better than grabbing his friend. Brother-in-law. Whatever. "Did you calm Essie down?"
"It was a lot for Essie to take in." Luke looked almost relieved. Like his explanation was going to make everything better. "It was a simple relaxation technique to help her get back to sleep."
"You don't know my kid better than me." Han pointed to his own chest, this time making contact and hitting hard. "She's my kid. I calm her down."
"I didn't mean…" Luke eased back slightly. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to interfere."
Han felt Leia's hand on his arm. He looked at her as she gently pulled him away.
"Essie's fine now." She looked at her brother. Her brother. "We can discuss Luke respecting boundaries later."
Han wrapped his arm around Leia's shoulder, kissed the top of her head. She melted into him for a moment then, with a hand on his chest, pushed herself away.
"You need to hear the rest of it." Her gaze was almost apologetic. She took a few steps back and Han could see her agitation rising again. "I want this out in the open and then I want to be done with it."
Han ran a hand over his jaw. How did the night get so turned around? It had been a good reunion. Catching up. Making plans for the next few weeks. Now things were teetering and Han didn't understand what ledge he'd back on to.
"Let's hear it."
Luke cleared his throat before speaking.
"You were right in guessing that our father didn't die in the Clone War or the purge."
"No, he didn't die in the purge." Leia spit the words out. "He was the purge."
She started to pace. Clenching and unclenching her fists.
"Our father…"
"Say Anakin. Or my father. I don't want this connection. I already have a father."
"It's who Anakin became." Luke was having trouble watching Leia pace. It was hard to maintain his calm when Leia was the opposite. "He turned at the end of the war."
"Turned." Han sat on the arm of the sofa. Rested his hands on his knees. If he needed to, he could easily reach Leia and pull her in close.
"Turned to the dark side," Luke said. "But I didn't kill him. He killed the Emperor and saved me. He died from injuries caused by the Emperor."
Han slowly turned to look at Luke. Fuck.
"Luke is burying the lede." Leia didn't slow her pace. She crossed her arms over her chest then dropped them to her sides again. She was trying to keep her energy in check. "He doesn't want to say Anakin became Darth Vader because then there's no denying what an evil piece of shit he actually was."
"Leia." Han held his hand out. "C'm here."
"He held me in place and forced me to watch Alderaan's destruction. He tortured me. Ordered Han's torture. Cut off your hand. That alone is enough to refuse forgiveness. But all the harm and death and blood. He did the Emperor's bidding. Killed, tortured, terrorized beings." She straightened her back as she stared at Luke. "Why would I want that monster's blood in my veins?"
"Leia. Baby." He needed her to look at him. Focus on him instead. "C'm here."
"No." She crossed her arms again. Took a few steps back. "That man. Monster. Machine. He hunted and killed Jedi. Killed Obi-Wan. Tortured me. He tortured me, Luke! For hours."
She shook her head and Han knew she was trying to knock away the visions. The interrogation droid. The needles.
"I do understand, Leia." Luke took a step toward her and stopped when he saw her glare. "He told me on Bespin. Cut off my hand then said he was my father. Trust me, I did not take it well. I had to face a lot over the next few months while training with Yoda. Deal with my own demons and Anakin's. And I've had almost a year since Endor to process his death and that last confrontation. I don't expect you to accept this right away."
"I accept you as my brother but he will never be my father." The pacing started again. "Who else knows?"
"No one. Ben and Yoda, Bail, hid us. Father figured it out after the first attack on the Death Star when my name was revealed."
"And our mother?"
"She died during childbirth but that's all I know."
"Why the hell didn't you ask one of your Force buddies?"
Luke responded to Han with arms raised in frustration and Han thought he looked like the farm boy again.
"The Jedi are big on self-discovery. Ben and Yoda didn't tell me about Anakin because they thought I wasn't ready then I found out on my own. Same thing with Leia being my sister. I had a lot of questions about our mother but I think there was something messy with father. Yoda wanted me to have more as a base before learning some truths. Then I was back and forth with the Rebellion and he died just before Endor and I didn't get all the answers."
"So he killed her." Leia stopped pacing long enough to glare at him. "Vader killed our mother."
"I don't know the details but I suspect it was something along those lines. Something not good."
"Every time you open your mouth, it only gets worse."
Han almost felt sorry for the kid. He looked a bit stunned. No way he thought this conversation would go well but this was probably more anger than he anticipated.
"You need to accept that you're Force-sensitive. Essie, too."
"No. That's not going to be a part of our lives." She pointed a finger at Luke. "I can support you in your Jedi quest but don't expect me to join you in it."
"You can't avoid it." Luke watched as Leia started her pacing again. "It's already a part of your life. You've experienced our connection. You've felt my distress. I registered the gas leaking into your room before it barely reached your lungs. Think about all those times in your life when you knew things you shouldn't. Or felt the energy of a room in your body. In your veins. Intense dreams and nightmares. All those things you learned to live with but never really understood. Essie's going to be the same. You can help her with it."
"We already told you, Luke." She gave him a hard stare. "Essie is none of your business."
"I love you, Leia. You're my sister, one of my closest friends, the being I respect most in this universe." He sighed. Shook his head. "I'm not suggesting you should train as a Jedi—though I am here to help if that's what you decide. Understanding your abilities will make things easier for you and you can help Essie."
She covered her face with her hands and leaned forward. Han thought for a moment that she might be sick.
"Oh, my girl." Leia stood up. Ran her hands over her head. "My sweet girl. She doesn't deserve this."
"This isn't a curse, Leia. It's a gift."
"Anything that comes from that monster is a curse."
"Consider it from Essie's perspective."
"What are you…?!"
"That's it." Han looked at Luke but didn't stand up. "We're done here."
Han got that Luke wasn't trying to accuse Leia of anything but that didn't matter. He'd crossed a line. This conversation was over.
Luke nodded. He was willing to accept defeat.
"What are we going to do about our girl?" Leia didn't cry. She refused to cry. Shook her head like that might push the tears back. "I didn't know, I didn't mean to, but I did this to her."
"Did what?"
"I passed down the blood of a monster." Her voice was small. So damn small.
"Leia, come here." Han held his hand out again. "I know you don't want me to grab you but I'm not sure what else to do here."
Leia shook her head.
"I've ruined her."
"What the hell does that mean?" Han threw his hands in the air. "Nothing wrong with you or Essie. Or Luke."
Well, maybe there was a thing or two wrong with Luke.
"We don't know what I've passed on." The look of apology was back. Like she'd done something to him. To them. "She shouldn't have to carry this with her."
"None of that matters. We're the ones raising her and that's what matters. Besides, not just your blood in her." He leaned forward. "I'm there too. Maybe she's got more Jaina than Vader."
"Great." She mumbled as she paced. "Evil and crazy."
Leia immediately stopped and turned to him. Mouthed, Sorry. This time the tears were right there and he didn't waste another second. Han crossed the floor in two strides and pulled her in close.
"Baby." He kissed the top her head. Her temple. Behind her ear. "Essie's good. She's great. All cos of you."
He barely heard the muffled, That's not true, against his chest.
"This shit doesn't mean anything." He leaned back enough to take her face in his hands. Lifted it so he could see her. "Bail is your father. You don't got his blood but he's the one you're passing down."
She didn't nod and didn't argue and that was as close as he was getting to an agreement.
"Night's over, Luke. Go to bed."
Leia tightened her grip around Han's torso as he caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. Neither of them looked Luke's way.
"Right." Luke backed up and moved toward the door. "Think I'll crash in the Falcon. Give you two some space."
Han listened for the soft click of the door as Luke exited.
"Leia, none of this matters."
"Of course it does. Luke's right. Now that I know, I can't leave Essie alone in it." She took hold of his belt and gave a small tug. "It's too much."
"It's a lot but we'll be okay." He smiled down at her. "Figure it out as we go. It's our thing."
She didn't laugh.
"You didn't sign up for this."
"Yeah, I gave up on Rebel contracts long time ago." He offered a half-smile. "Terms always changing."
"I'm serious." Her eyes were so damn wide. "I know we're well past the point of no return but you need to consider if this is too much for you."
"Sweetheart, I was probably past the point of no return before we got off Yavin."
"Stop making jokes."
"I'm being serious." He wanted to laugh because this was a ridiculous discussion but he had enough sense to keep a straight face. "I care that this upsets you. I don't care Vader or whoever he was then is technically your father. Or Essie's grandfather. Doesn't change a thing for you and me."
She looked tired, that old exhaustion that came with guilt and grief. Standing strong when crumbling felt like the better option.
"I'm sorry." She still gripped his belt. She offered him an out if he wanted it but she also didn't let go. Held on tight. "I sometimes feel like I'm always throwing obstacles in our way."
This time he did laugh.
"You're talking nonsense, Princess." He couldn't remember the last time he called her Princess. Must've been months. Maybe longer. "You've made my life easy. Better in every way."
He couldn't say she made his dreams come true because he never dreamed about a life like this. Didn't know it was possible. Never pictured himself anywhere resembling it. Felt pretty sure he didn't deserve it and there was no way he was giving it up.
"And I'm sorry about the Jaina crack." One hand moved to his chest. "That was uncalled for. And mean."
He put his hand over hers. Took in a deep breath so she could feel the swell of his chest. The beat of his heart.
"Bail knew. Why didn't he tell me?" She looked up at him. "Did mother know, too?"
He heard the first few drops of rain hit the windows but kept his gaze on Leia.
"Let's go." He nodded toward the stairs. "Sleep. Distraction. Talk. Your call."
"This may surprise you, but I might be all talked out for tonight." The corner of her mouth turned up in the smallest of half-smiles. "Not very tired either."
"Distraction, it is." His was a full smile. Wide and ready. "We can start fresh in the morning."