Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. All mistakes are mine.

Even the Pup is an Unmentionable by Debra8652

Chapter 16

Remy's POV

The reason my Mom, Lester and I went to Mary Lou's Saturday was to borrow a small life jacket for me. It's Monday now and Mom just told me I'm having a new adventure today. We had to wait to see if the weather cooperated and if we were fully staffed. It's a go! My favorite Navy SEALS, Hal and Cal, have the day off and are taking me on my first ever paddleboat ride. Holy buckets - I am so excited - mustn't piddle, mustn't piddle.

I think Mom's Man was surprised that Mom would allow me to go without her. Sheesh - I am with two Navy SEALS and, as Mom says, Dad D is flitting around in the stratosphere somewhere close by, so what could happen to me. The guys fitted me in the life jacket and I even got goggles to wear - more about my captain's hat later - epic fail.

We paddled around for two hours and saw lots of other people but no other dogs. People liked looking at me, though. There were ducks swimming on the lake but I didn't try to herd them. They knew where they were going.

Afterwards, we went to a Mexican restaurant and sat on the patio. The guys ate lunch and I got another cup of vanilla ice cream. Luckily, my Mom taught me to walk on the treadmill beside the one she uses so I can maintain my lean, mean, fightin' machine, physique. I've been practicing what Mom calls my fierce face. Lester says it makes me look like Elvis.

When we got back to Rangeman, I had to break up an argument between Ramon and Raphael about whether it was a Founders' Day parade or a Flounders' Day parade. Seriously? A Flounders' Day parade? Anyway, I ran around and greeted Mom and the guys and my SEALS showed everyone the pics they took of me. I made a good boat captain. I'm hoping to get to ride in a canoe and kayak with my first mates. Yeah, about the captain's hat my SEALS brought for me. Hey, it's not my fault! I'm a high energy pup. When something piques my interest, my ears fly up in the air and my hat falls off.

Mom told me that Freddy was in his swimming pool in the Rangeman yard. She got me a plastic pail so I could scoop him out of the water and bring him inside. Me and Freddy hung out in the yard and compared our water adventures. When it was time to come inside I scooped him into the pail and opened all the doors with my Hector fob. The first person I saw when we got off the elevator on fifth floor was Mom's Man. He knows the drill - take the handle of the pail out of my mouth, get Freddy out, and dump the water down the sink. I heard some mumbling and grumbling from him - "Mighty Manoso" mumble grumble "turtle duty" mumble grumble. Dude, you should have read the fine print on your marriage license - man up!

I gotta run now. My Dad Diesel just popped in wearing a fish costume and Lester asked him if he was signing up for the Flounders' Day parade. You see what I have to put up with?

A/N

I appreciate your reviews, especially those that enjoy my gentle torture of Ranger.

D