Trigger Warning: This chapter get's VERY DARK. I kinda just zoned out and started typing which led to it kind of just going downhill, but I think the ending will make up for it... Hopefully. I couldn't resist uploading this chapter since it was already finished. Read with caution because again... Very dark.

Elliot stared at his phone, rereading the text several times. He replied and deleted his message several times, not really knowing what to say. Eventually, he decided to just go to Olivia's apartment to see her face-to-face. He wanted to make sure they weren't misinterpreting each other's signals.

He found his way up the stairs and stood in front of her door. He went to knock but decided against it; Noah might still be asleep. He whipped out his phone and texted Olivia.

E: I'm at the door.

Seconds later he heard the latch and then the door opened. Olivia didn't waste any time and immediately started attacking his lips with hers. Elliot maneuvered his way into the apartment and shut and locked the door without breaking the kiss. They made their way to her bedroom and finally decided to come up for air. "Lock the door" Olivia breathed out while taking her panties off. Elliot did as he was told and returned back to her lips. "We have to be quiet." she said while pulling at his belt. Elliot went to lift her shirt up, but she instantly stopped him not wanting him to see the skin she scrubbed raw. "What's wrong?" he said, leaning his forehead against hers trying to catch his breath. "Nothing. I just want to keep my shirt on, El." She went back to kissing him, moving them towards the bed, but Elliot stopped. Something didn't feel right. "Baby, look at me" He gently grabbed her chin. "El..." She whispered, refusing to look at him. "Liv, what's going on?"

"Nothing. Jesus, El. Do you want to fuck me or not?" She asked trying to pull him back to her, but he grabbed her hands gently "Liv, I never want to just fuck you. It's never that with me. Every time we do what we do... that's love." He said as he started to caress her hands in his. She had tears in her eyes, but that isn't what she wanted to hear right now. She pulls her hands back and reaches one down to massage him and the other on the back of his neck as she kissed him again and he moaned in her mouth. "I want you to take me from behind," she whispered in his ear. That was enough. He knew something was going on.

He put his hand on hers to stop her from going further. "Babe, seriously. Something is going on and I am not gonna take advantage of you in this state." She still refuses to look at him. "Fine, I'll do it myself" she hissed as she stormed toward her nightstand. "What are you doing, Liv?" he asked, trying to wrap his head around the situation. "I asked you to do one simple thing. I need you, El. I need you and you aren't being here for me." He hesitated before he spoke again. "Earlier you didn't want me to kiss you. Now you want me to 'take you from behind.' I don't understand." He scratched the back of his head. "What's going on, Liv. Help me understand."

Olivia didn't say anything. She kept rummaging through her drawers like whatever she was looking for would be her lifeline. "Liv..." Elliot tried again. "Found it" she muttered unenthused. Elliot looked at her with wide eyes as she laid on the bed with her legs spread wide. "Olivia..." he mustered out, unable to take his eyes off the scene in front of him. Olivia knew what she was doing. He'd never be able to resist at this point. A soft buzz filled the room and Elliot could feel himself coming back to attention as she started to moan softly. "El... you feel so good" she growled as she gripped the pillow above her, turning her head to look Elliot right in the eyes.

He stood there frozen. Completely turned on by what was happening in front, but also fighting to urge because he knew Olivia was not in the right headspace for anything he wanted to do to her right now. He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard Olivia gasp. "Fuck, El" she arched her back off the mattress. "Yes, fill me up." she moaned still looking at him, but this time with a dildo pushing in and out of her and her hand rubbing her slit. The vibrator still buzzing beside her. "Olivia. Stop." He said firmly. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but you don't want me. Not like this."

She could feel the pressure building up at her core. "I do… I want you." she said in between moans. "I want all of you, Elliot." she started pumping faster feeling she was at her peak. "I want you." she repeated "I wa-"

"Tell me you want me." Lewis grinned.

She froze.

"I told you, you wanted me." he whispered in her ear

She sat up quickly and threw her toys to the ground. Her hands are shaking and she can't seem to catch her breath. She looked over to see Elliot horrified. "Elliot, please" she begged him with tears running down her face. She just wanted to feel something other than Lewis.

"Olivia, what is with you?" He asked, slowly moving towards her. "I'm worried about you." he reached his hand over to hers, happy when she didn't flinch away from him. "El… I just need to feel you. I don't want to talk about it."

"I can't do that, Liv." he said as he grabbed her some shorts from her drawer. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you just had a flashback. I don't know what happened today..." he handed her the shorts. "And you don't have to talk about it to me, but you need to talk to someone." She turned away from him and went to the bathroom. Elliot followed behind her, but she closed the door in his face. "I'll be sitting here when you're done. "He called into the door. "Right now I can see you're hurting and I just want to hold you" she turned the water on and let out a sob. "How can I have been so dumb." She slid down the wall of the shower and let the water hit her, burning the already sensitive skin.

Elliot let out a heavy sigh as he sat down on the couch. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and texted Fin.

E: Wtf happened today with Olivia?"

F: What do you mean?"

E: You know what I'm talking about, Fin.

F: I told you to talk to her. It's not my business to share.

E: I tried and some crazy shit went down. She's not okay.

F: What happened?

E: I can't really go into detail, but I'm scared for her.

Elliot's phone started to ring. "Yes, Fin?" he answers in a whisper.

"What the hell is going on over there?" Fin said with a hint of anger in his voice.

"I told you, I can't give you details, but it's serious man."

Fin huffed, "Can't be that serious if you're not telling me what's going on."

"You have some nerve seeing as you gave me the cold shoulder earlier." Elliot shot back.

"That's different man. That's her personal business that I can't share. She has to tell you."

"Okay, well so is this…" Elliot paused when he heard the water turn off in the bathroom. "Look, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." Elliot hung up before Fin had a chance to respond.

He sat there for a minute to give Olivia a chance to compose herself. He started running through scenarios on the best way to handle the situation.

Olivia grabbed her trash can, picked up her toys and threw them away. "So fucking stupid." she muttered as she picked up her clothes she had thrown down earlier. "You're 54 years old and throwing yourself at someone who is clearly disgusted by you now." She pulled on another shirt. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She grabbed a pair of panties and threw them on. "What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" She slammed her fist against the dresser. She looked up at herself in the mirror and let out a strangled sob.

She jumped when Elliot came rushing in forgetting he was there. "Liv, you okay?" He walked up to her. She put her hand up to stop him from getting any closer. "Leave, Elliot." she lowered her head. "I'm not leav-" "Mama?" Noah walked in rubbing his eyes. "I heard you yelling." he walked up to her with his arms open. Olivia closed the hug, "I didn't mean to yell, baby. Why don't I get you back to bed." She kissed his head. She looked back at Elliot and mouthed 'leave'.

She brought Noah's blankets up to his chest and kissed his head. "You sure you're okay, mama?" he looked up at her with concern and Olivia's eyes started to water. "I'm fine, Bub. I promise!" She gave him a pat on his stomach. "Now go to sleep." She smiled at him as he turned over and closed his eyes. She sat there and watched him sleep for a while, memorized by how his simple presence brings her peace. "My savior" she whispered in his ear with one more kiss on the cheek, she stood up and made her way back to her bedroom.

She rolled her eyes to discover Elliot in just his joggers, getting comfortable in her bed. "Elliot, I told you to leave." She crossed her arms over her chest, not looking him in the eyes. "Yes, but I can clearly see you need me here."

"Elliot, please… I don't have the energy to argue with you right now."

"Well it's a good thing that I'm not arguing…" He patted the empty spot next to him. "Now come lay down and get some rest."

She hesitated. "I'm sorry you had to see me like Elliot." still standing in the same spot looking at the ground.

"I don't want your apologies, Olivia. I just want to know that you're okay." He stood up from the bed and walked up to her. He reached out his hand hoping she would grab it. Olivia finally looked up at him "I'm not." the unshed tears finally escaping their prison. "Liv." He brought her into a hug and she completely broke. Her legs started to give out from under her and she and Elliot slowly made their way down to the ground. Olivia's sobs wrecked his soul. Each strangled scream breaking his heart more. "I… I have to" she tried to get out. "Just breathe, Liv." Elliot rubbed her back. "Noah" She gasped out. Understanding what she was trying to say he reached his leg out to shut the door.

"Let's try to make it to bed." He tried once she settled down a little. She nodded against him so he stood and reached out his hand. He slowly helped her get into bed and then got in beside her, instantly placing her back in his arms. "You're gonna get through this, Liv." She just nodded against his chest. They sat in silence for a while. "I really am sorry you had to see me like that." She sniffled. "I'm so embarrassed." She took her hand and swiped a tear.

"Liv, seriously… don't be sorry." He rubbed her arm. "Under any other circumstance…" He let out a little chuckle. "-Really, Liv. Seeing you in that position…" he inhaled. "That wasn't the problem… believe me." He shifted in the bed, feeling his body's response to the memory. "It was the look in your eyes, Liv. All I could see was pain. I could see you hurting. Then there was fear and that scared me the most."

Olivia sniffled again as Elliot let silence fill the room. She finally broke it, "Lewis." she said flatly. Elliot looked down at her. He knows of the Lewis situation, but only the bits and pieces Olivia had told him the first time they were together and that was only out of necessity, not because she wanted to. "What about him?" He asked, afraid of her answer. "I can't, El." she took a breath. "Not tonight." Elliot continued to rub her arm. "I understand." He kissed the top of her head. "Get some rest." She shifted a little, getting comfortable in his arms. "I love you, Elliot." He smiled. "I love you too, Olivia." He sat there waiting for her breaths to even out and once they did, sleep overcame him too.

I'm sooo sorry. I'm a horrible person, I know. BUT! It'll all come together. It's gotta get worse before it can get better. Please review if you want. I'll upload the next chapter either Sunday or Monday!