Hunter had grown up being told stories about the Human Realm by his uncle, and when it came to understanding humanity, that provided him with both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, he knew things about the Human Realm that most witches and demons didn't, like the fact that their rain wasn't boiling and that they had ludicrously powerful explosive devices called nuclear bombs that could wipe out a whole city.

On the other hand, Belos' knowledge of the Human Realm was now six decades out of date. It was quite the surprise to learn that the Soviet Union, for example, had fallen over a full decade before Hunter was even born, since Hunter had been told stories of the godless commies who ate children for breakfast his whole life. It was weird to learn that the thing he'd had nightmares about his whole childhood hadn't even been a thing for his whole lifespan.

But there was a difference between knowing things and knowing them, and no matter how many times he'd spent time in the rain in the Human Realm (and, given Seattle's climate, that was quite often), he'd never really get used to its rain not boiling people. There was still a profound feeling of wrongness to standing out in the rain and it being chilly.

That wrongness, however, still beat spending a single more moment at that asinine dance in Luz's high school. Hunter was never a sociable individual. One on one contact was fine, more or less, but whenever he spent time in groups, he found his energy level dropping sharply. He had told Edric that he needed to take a walk. Edric had offered to accompany him, but it was perfunctory; both Hunter and Edric knew that Edric needed to keep an eye on the thoroughly miserable looking Amity.

The front door to the school suddenly slammed open and Avery's date – Hunter couldn't remember her name – ran out, looking like she was in a panic. "What's wrong?" Hunter said immediately. "Is it Odalia?"

"Uh, no," the girl said. "It's, um, your date's twin sister? Sorry, I'm not good with names."

"I don't remember yours either," Hunter said cheerfully.

The girl blinked. "It's Steph. Steph Monmouth. But that's not the point. Your date's sister and her girlfriend are fighting!"

Hunter shrugged. "Couples have arguments sometimes. It happens."

"No, I mean, they're literally fighting, like, having a battle right now!" Steph said urgently. "You've got to help stop it. Your date's not helping at all. He just keeps on cheering on Emira. I don't know much about magic, but can't someone get hurt if they're throwing around spells in a confined space?" It depended on the spells. Illusion spells couldn't get someone hurt directly (though a creative illusion user could quite deftly use them to hurt people indirectly). Hunter didn't know enough about beast-keeping or healing to figure out if they could be dangerous, though; Belos had always dismissed both those fields as women's work.

In any event, dangerous or not, as a representative of the Boiling Kingdom, it was Hunter's responsibility to deal with these kinds of things, to say nothing of his responsibility as one of the combatants' sibling's boyfriend. "It's going to be fine," Hunter assured Steph. "I'll see what I can do to help. You enjoying your night with Luz's friend?"

Steph scowled. "Not really. They're really not interested in me. They'd rather be with Luz, but they stayed at the dance with me to be polite. Honestly, I'd rather they canceled. It makes me feel like they're pitying me."

"That's rough, buddy," Hunter said. Steph did not look impressed. He was trying to be encouraging, but probably came across as being sarcastic. "Anyway, I'm on my way. Consider this fight defused."

Hunter charged into the gym and then burst out laughing at what he saw before him. As he suspected, there wasn't anything to worry about at all. Rather the opposite, in fact. No wonder Edric was so chill about it. Hunter couldn't help but smile at what was coming. It was about time something good happened in the Bright family, after all the crap Odalia had given them.

Viney waved a hand and Emira was thrown to the ceiling. Several bones broke upon her impact with the ground, but Viney immediately mended them. Emira cast a spell to summon an illusory wall of whirling swords that looked quite lifelike. "Blade barrier!" Emira sang. "You can thank Sean's D&D books for that one!" Despite knowing intellectually that the swords were fake, Viney could not bring herself to walk through the blade barrier. Instead, she twirled her finger and a huge spider appeared, seemingly out of thin air. This was just a trick of perception, however; Viney had merely enlarged a miniature one. The spider pounced upon Emira, who grappled with it and started ripping its legs off one by one.

"My strength is superior to yours, head of House Bright!" Viney said. "Submit!"

"NEVER!" Emira snarled once the spider was dead, an impressively good performance. But nothing more than that. It was an act, and Hunter knew it for a fact. Not that any of Luz's peers did. Hunter really hoped the police wouldn't be called. It would be a pain in the neck to explain this to them. "The head of House Bright surrenders to no one, much less the heir to House Kudzu!" She ran straight at Viney and tried to give her a roundhouse kick to the face. Viney grabbed her foot in mid-air and tossed her across the room.

Emira summoned an army of clones and hid herself amongst them. Viney immediately figured out which one was Emira and made straight for her. She also went straight for the face, but it wasn't her foot that Viney attacked with. It was her lips. She kissed her girlfriend – no, not her girlfriend anymore – with such intensity that, honestly, Hunter kind of wondered if it was appropriate to be that intimate in front of a bunch of kids, even if Viney and Emira barely qualified as adults legally themselves. (And they certainly didn't qualify emotionally in Hunter's opinion.)

Emira lost control of the illusion spell, and the clones dissipated. Then, without any warning whatsoever, Viney kneed Emira in the groin, grabbed her by the throat, and slammed her against the floor, quickly healing the injuries this caused her. Emira gazed up at her with an adoring expression on her face, which she quickly tried to hide with feigned fear. "Emira Bright, you are defeated," Viney said, her voice rough and low, and Hunter could hear Emira panting with excitement. Eww. "Surrender yourself to House Kudzu."

"Viney Kudzu," Emira said, trying and failing to keep the glee out of her voice, "the head of House Bright surrenders herself to you. Do with me as you wish. I will pay any price."

"Only one price will be sufficient," Viney said, saying the ritualized lines that had been encoded into witch society since the days of the Savage Ages. "I claim you as my mate, Emira. You are now my betrothed."

Emira bowed her head submissively. "I submit myself to you, my future wife." She let Viney pick her up off the floor.

The sound of loud sobs reverberated throughout the room. They were coming from Edric. Hunter had known his boyfriend could be a sappy, overemotional fool when it came to matters of the heart, but this was almost silly. "Isn't it romantic?!" Edric said, his face a mess from tears. "Oh, Hunter, my heart can't take this. My sister is getting married!" Hunter sighed. He really was going to have to top this performance if it ever came time for the two of them to get married, wasn't he? Joy of joys.

Steph looked absolutely appalled. "Aren't you going to do something?!" she shouted at Hunter. "You can't just let her…take her like this!"

Hunter suddenly realized how this must look to Steph. Once upon a time, in the Savage Ages, witches had indeed claimed their mates by defeating them in combat. But in these more civilized ages, the combat had become a mere formality to demonstrate that the witch in question had the necessary combat prowess to be a good spouse in a realm where being adept at fighting was the literal difference between life and death. It was all for show, carefully stage managed to ensure that no one actually got hurt. Couples always got informally engaged first, and the duels were not legally binding in the slightest.

After proceeding to explain all this to her, he found a microphone and explained all this to the crowd at large. After Viney and Emira backed it up, everyone looked much more relieved. Everyone except for Amity, who looked like she was torn between being jealous and being appalled. "But…but there is no House Kudzu!" Amity said, and Hunter blinked. She had expected a homophobic argument instead of a classist one; this was probably a good sign, all in all. "She's a nobody! What does she even bring to the Blight family?"

"Love," Emira said simply. "She brings love to the Bright family, Amity. And that's enough. Who cares if her dad is a plumber and her mom is a waitress? So what? I love Viney. And did you see her finishing move! She chokeslammed me! Actually chokeslammed me!" The adoring expression on her face made Hunter want to throw up, it was so sappy.

Amity twisted her hands nervously. "But she…she's a girl! And you're a girl! You're both girls!" Viney rolled her eyes at this blatantly obvious statement. "I thought the two of you were just friends!" She suddenly turned around and pointed at Hunter and Edric. "You…you're together too! Oh my Titan." She went ashen. "Luz didn't infect me…so that means…"

Hunter gave her an encouraging smile. Finally, Amity was starting to come around! After the pep talk he had given her, he knew it was only a matter of time before she did. "That's right, Amity," he said encouragingly. "Keep going."

"It was you two!" Amity finished, pointing at her siblings accusingly. A horrified look came on her face. "Of course it was you two! I don't know why I thought it was Luz. I started being attracted to Boscha before I even met her. Oh, GIRAFFE! Luz didn't infect me; I infected her!" She looked like she was about to burst into tears. "Of course I did! She liked guys before she met me, and then I infected her with this disease! And then I had the nerve to accuse her! Oh, Titan, what have I done?"

"Wait, hang on, this infection is you being gay?" Steph said, sounding disgusted at Amity. "I'm not going to have homophobic talk at this dance. This is an LGBT friendly zone. We're going to have to ask you to leave if you're going to keep doing this."

"Amity's just going through some…issues, Steph," Emira said, putting a hand on Amity's shoulder. "And she's going to go through them more quietly, aren't you, Amy?" Amity nodded. Steph walked back over to Avery's position, but she kept on eyeing them suspiciously.

Amity started walking towards the door, but Edric blocked her. "Let me through, Edric. I have to apologize to Luz."

"Absolutely not," Emira called out. "You are going to make things ten times worse for her if you do that. Leave her alone."

"But…"

"Do as your sister says," Edric said sternly.

Amity looked him straight in the eyes. "You sounded like Father just then." And then, with that devastating blow, she walked away to rejoin Tim on the dance floor.

Edric looked pleadingly over at Hunter, desperate for some reassurance. No doubt what Amity had just said hit him in one of his worst fears – turning out like his parents. "You're not like them," Hunter assured him. "You will never be like them. You want what's best for her. They didn't. Just like how my uncle didn't want what was best for me." He tried to put on a much happier expression. "Hey, turn that frown upside down, okay? After all, your sister's getting married."

Edric let out a gasp. "Oh my gosh, I forgot about that!" He strode over to Emira. "I'm going to be planning your wedding."

"Not in your wildest dreams, Ed."

"But you promised me I could."

Emira rolled her eyes. "This again? Edric, we were seven."

Edric pointed a finger at her face, looking legitimately angry. "You made a pinky promise! What kind of a barbarian would break a pinky promise?!" He turned to face the confused looking crowd. "We were adorable, innocent little tykes." Hunter could not understand how anyone could believe for a second that Edric was ever innocent, even as a child. "When Emira accidentally broke the window of our parents' study, I, being the beneficent sibling that I am, promised to take the blame in exchange for planning her wedding. I fulfilled my end of the bargain, and now, dearest sister, it is time to fulfill your end."

Emira blinked a couple of times. "Edric, please be reasonable. It's…much more complicated than it looks at first glance."

"Bah!" Edric said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I've been planning this since I was five, Emira. I have every single detail intricately plotted. Please allow me to fulfill one of the few dreams I have had that weren't ruthlessly crushed under our abusive mother's high heeled foot."

Emira and Viney shared a glance and then Emira pulled Viney away for a private conversation. A few minutes later, they returned. "You can plan the wedding if we get full veto power over everything," Emira offered.

"Done!" Edric said instantaneously, and then nearly crushed Emira's spine with a hug. "You're the best sister in the world!" Amity glared at Edric, who looked utterly unrepentant. "Come on, Hunter! We've got a lot of work to do, and very little time to do it."

He dragged Hunter out of the gym without hesitating for a second. "Titan, Hunter, I get to plan my sister's wedding! I've been waiting for this moment for so long!"

"You didn't fantasize about planning your own wedding?" Hunter asked.

"Nah, when I was a kid, I never thought I'd have one," Edric said casually.

Hunter's eyes widened. "Did…did you not think you'd live that long?"

Edric looked askance at him. "What? No! Titan, you're melodramatic. No, I thought girls were yucky. Which I still stand by. I didn't know guys could get married to each other, so I figured if I wasn't going to get to plan my wedding, at least I'd get to plan Emira's." Hunter breathed a sigh of relief. Edric was cagy about his past, but given all the horrible things Odalia had been doing since her escape, it couldn't exactly have been anywhere close to fun.

"Hey, you know it's still too early for us to start talking about that, right?" Hunter asked anxiously. He was still adjusting to the idea of being Edric's boyfriend, to having a relationship – any kind of relationship, romantic or platonic – where he was an equal to someone. Even the idea of getting married to him was just more than Hunter was capable of dealing with right now.

"Of course I do," Edric said, sounding a trifle offended. He stroked Hunter's cheek tenderly. "Hunter, I'm sorry if I seem too pushy sometimes…I'm just used to moving really fast on these things. If I'm making you uncomfortable, I want you to say something."

Hunter leaned in and gave his boyfriend a kiss on the lips for the first time. It felt amazing, like a missing piece that he hadn't even known was inside of him was finally being filled in. "Thanks, Edric," he said with a grin. "You're the best boyfriend ever."

Raine had a problem and that problem was Swaard. In theory, capturing Havik's lieutenant and a prime asset of Odalia was an asset to their cause. In theory. In practice, however, while they had actually captured Swaard, there was no way of actually proving this. It wasn't Swaard who had gone missing when Caroline had brought him to the consulate. It was Agent Johnston. Right now, no one had yet connected Swaard's disappearance to the Boiling Kingdom, but it was only a matter of time, especially if surveillance footage could be found of Caroline bringing him to the consulate. As incredibly brave as Luz's friend was, she wasn't exactly anywhere close to being a trained professional. She probably didn't even know to cover her tracks, much less how.

For now, Raine was going to pretend that they had no clue where Swaard was, but that would only last so long. A missing person was one thing, a missing FBI agent was quite another. If word got out that the Boiling Kingdom had kidnapped an American government agent, the consequences could be cataclysmic. It didn't matter that it was actually Swaard they'd kidnapped; they'd never be able to prove that in a satisfactory manner.

Swaard wasn't just a problem because of his sudden disappearance, though. He was also a problem in of himself, because Raine had no clue what to do with him. He'd aided in Odalia's schemes to enchant Amity, but convicting of him of that in a Boiling court of law would be easier said than done, even with the recording Caroline had provided. And if he was found innocent and walked away, well, there was no telling what he'd do. But Raine had objections to the idea of just incarcerating him indefinitely without due process either.

Nor, of course, could they just release Swaard, because he'd just go back to his conniving, murdering ways. Perhaps there was some way to transfer him back into the decomposing carcass of his former body? But then again, most of the Isles' necromancers had been on the side of Belos. Yes, there'd been a general amnesty. There'd been no choice but to provide that, unfortunately, since pretty much everyone in the Isles, including Raine, could be said to have collaborated with Belos. But they didn't exactly want to give them the time of day now, especially since they so publicly turned against Belos.

If you heard Swaard tell it, he was very keen on making a deal, but he was asking for a very high price: a very large amount of snails, complete amnesty for all past crimes committed in the Demon and Human Realms, and a castle or similar building ("lots of towers; I like that aesthetic"). And Raine had a hunch his information wasn't any good anyway. Swaard was stalling for time; he knew the excuse of Johnston suddenly going to the Demon Realm on a "fact finding mission to learn about extradimensional law enforcement techniques" wouldn't hold water for long.

There was only one option, and it chilled Raine's blood to even think about it: torture. Not just any torture, but a torture Raine would once have not inflicted upon their worst enemies, not even Odalia herself. Could they truly consider themself a virtuous individual when they even thought about bringing forth this most horrific instrument of pain and endless agony? Raine suspected not. Even the notoriously amoral Eda would probably be horrified to know her precious Rainestorm was considering such a vile step. But there was nothing for it. Like the villain of one of those human superhero movies Raine loved once said, the hardest choices require the strongest of wills.

They grabbed the box containing the instrument of torture and walked into the cell deep in the bowels of the consulate. Raine was not precisely why the consulate's building even had a cell there to begin with, but they were not about to question such a fortuitous sequence of events.

"Evening, little lady," Swaard said with an extremely creepy grin, and Raine's eyes twitched. Swaard had been purposefully misgendering them ever since he had arrived, and try as they might, Raine still couldn't avoid it getting to them. "Back for more twenty questions? Or are we gonna try something different?" He studied them with an appreciative eye. "I can definitely see what the prime minister sees in you."

Raine smacked him across the face. It surprised them greatly. They were not a witch normally given to physical violence. "Silence," they hissed. "We've tried doing things the easy way, and now we're going to do it the hard way."

By the looks of it, Swaard didn't look intimidated in the slightest. "Oulike dingetjie, I've been tortured by a lot scarier people than you. You don't truly know pain until you've spent time in a North Korean labor camp."

"Unfortunately for you, you're wrong," Raine said. "That's just a pale shadow of the suffering I'm about to inflict upon you. Unless, of course, you want to tell me what Odalia is planning."

Swaard winked at them. "Give me an hour with you, a nice bed, and a bottle of vodka, and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

A chance had been given, and a chance had been rejected. Raine had no choice now. May the Titan have mercy on my soul, they thought, and opened the box. Inside was a wooden structure that looked roughly like a house with Hooty's face sticking out of it. "OH BOY! I'm finally in the Human Realm! And it's a lot dustier than I thought it'd be. Who cleans these places?"

Swaard opened and closed his mouth repeatedly. "What in the name of almighty God is that?!" he screamed, his voice filled with sheer, unrelenting horror. "That…that shouldn't even be alive! Holy God, it's hideous!"

"Hey, that's not nice," Hooty pouted.

Raine patted Hooty's roof encouragingly. "Don't worry, Hooty. Mr. Swaard here is just shy. I need your help. He's been very sad and wants a best friend." Hooty's eyes widened in glee. "I want you to do everything you can to cheer him up. You know what he said? He wants to hear you sing."

"BELAY THAT!" Swaard screamed. "I don't want that! Hooty, don't listen to him! Please! I'm begging you!" Raine couldn't help but crack a smile at hearing their girlfriend's husband's murderer begging for mercy. It probably wasn't a good thing to be doing, but, hey, in for a neonate, in for a snail, right?

Raine checked their watch. "I give you…ten minutes before you break. Have a nice afternoon, Mr. Swaard. Oh, and remember, my pronouns are they/them."

"I will now be performing my inaugural concert of the Magnetic Fields' album 69 Love Songs!" Hooty announced, and then proceeded to sing "Absolutely Cuckoo" in a tone that eldritch only barely described.

"HELP!" Swaard screamed. "PLEASE! MERCY!"

Raine was not in a merciful mood as they left Swaard to Hooty's tender mercies. They just hoped his brain wouldn't break before he surrendered and told Raine everything. That would make things somewhat awkward, to say the least. Ah, the life of a diplomat was full of hard choices. Thankfully, the use of Hooty as a method of torture had not yet been outlawed by parliament, though certainly when – or, perhaps, if – they heard about it, they'd rush to do so. But for now, it was a loophole Raine had no choice but to exploit. Lives were at stake, after all.

It took a full half hour, as a matter of fact, for Swaard to break. He certainly had not been bragging about his ability to withstand torture. But break down, he finally did. When Raine returned to the prison cell, Swaard was sobbing hysterically, begging for mercy, a pale shadow of his former self. He would never be the same, Raine knew.

"You win!" Swaard screamed through his crying while Hooty sang "The Cactus Where Your Heart Should Be." "I'll tell you everything you want to know! In the name of God, Miss Whispers, please!"

Raine held up a finger. "Excuse me?"

"MX. WHISPERS!" Swaard shouted at the top of his lungs as Hooty's infernal warbling continued. "Mx. Whispers, I'll do anything you want! Anything! Just make it stop!"

Raine cast a spell to silence Hooty, then handed him over to a guard with instructions to take him back to the Demon Realm. "Don't think I can't bring him back," Raine said. "My pronouns are…?"

"They/them," Swaard panted. "Your pronouns are they/them."

"Good boy," Raine said, and patted Swaard condescendingly on the top of the head.

Swaard proved to be a fountain of useful information. He outlined dozens of different contingency plans that Havik had come up with in order to instigate war. Most of them involved quite a lot of death, caused by magical methods. It was almost impressive how few scruples Havik had. Raine may have been morally deficient enough to resort to Hooty-based torture, but they would never have even thought about some of the hideous schemes he'd plotted. One of his plans had been to attack Luz's homecoming dance with some sort of magical nerve agent that would cause the students there to dance themselves to death, but he'd scrapped the plan when it became clear Luz wouldn't be attending.

But Havik's main plan was still the same one he'd had the whole time, namely to attack the World Series with the aid of the elaborate ritual that Odalia and Avery's mother had created. The ritual was being powered through the harvesting of negative emotional energy from the denizens of the region. Ironically, this also had the outcome of making people much more receptive to the huge changes the exposure of the Demon Realm caused, siphoning their fear and paranoia to feed the ritual. Of course, that didn't fully stop the hate levied against witches and demons. Not anywhere close, actually. But it had made things tougher, completely inadvertently, for Havik. Swaard had found it hilarious that Havik was accidentally thwarting his own plans and hadn't said a word to him, since the successful casting of the ritual would cause the plans to succeed anyway eventually.

The ritual would overload everyone who attended the World Series with fear and paranoia until they became killing machines whose only true priority was killing everyone who wasn't them. They would become an army tens of thousands strong, and they would likely kill ten times that amount of people at the very least before they were stopped – and the only way to stop them was to kill them. Every last one of them, including children and the elderly. To make matters worse, the ritual would have a delayed activation phase so not only would thousands of them be spread throughout Seattle, but thousands more would have returned to their hometowns by that point.

Odalia believed that the energies harvested by the ritual would allow her to gather enough power to forcibly alter the brain chemistry of every single last non-heterosexual individual in the Human Realm to turn them straight. It was unclear whether or not this would be possible, however, or if it was just an insane theory of hers. Either way, it absolutely had to be stopped. Unfortunately, this was one area where Swaard didn't possess any useful information. He neither knew nor cared about magical theory and hadn't the slightest clue how to stop the ritual.

"What are you going to do to me, Mx. Whispers?" Swaard said after he was finally done spilling his secrets. "If you're going to give me back to that monster, I implore you to just kill me, please, if you have even the slightest shred of honor."

"I need to consult the prime minister," Raine admitted. They hadn't even told Eda that Swaard was their prisoner for the sake of plausible deniability. "I promise, you won't have to spend any more time with Hooty." Swaard breathed a sigh of relief. "And for what it's worth, I'll mention your cooperation to Prime Minister Clawthorne."

Raine sent in an LEC agent to interrogate Swaard further, and then went to their office to call Eda. They hoped she would forgive them for what they'd done to Swaard. They knew they wouldn't be forgiving themself anytime soon. After explaining the situation to her, she whistled, sounding very impressed. "Never thought you had it in you, Raine."

"Nor did I," Raine said solemnly. "But it had to be done. We needed information about how to stop the attack."

"Hey, stop beating yourself up about this," Eda said, sounding more serious than normal. "Really, how were you supposed to know he'd react that badly? I mean, Hooty's singing is kind of annoying, but I've never heard it used as a torture method before. Unless…wait a second. Oh, man. I think Hooty knew Swaard killed Luz's dad. He must have ratcheted it up himself."

Raine did feel a lot better with the theory presented that Hooty had actually chosen to make his singing a method of torture. It didn't absolve them, morally speaking, but it was nice to share the blame, as it were. They also wondered if Eda was lying. It did seem like the kind of thing she'd lie about. There was really no way of knowing, short of asking Hooty. Eda put the artist in con artist; when she really put her mind to it (which wasn't very often, frankly), no one could detect her lies.

"Okay, well, what's done is done," Raine said. "Now we have to figure out what to do with him."

"Let him go," Eda suggested. "And put a listening spell on him before he leaves, so we can use it to our advantage."

"But what if he goes to the FBI and tells them where he's been?" Raine wondered.

Eda sighed. "We've just gotta take that chance, Raine. We got everything we could from him. You wanna kill him? Cause I think that's our only other option."

"No!" Raine shouted. "Absolutely not. But Eda…"

"Let him go, Raine," Eda ordered them. She was speaking as their prime minister now, not as their girlfriend. "They're gonna work out we have him sooner or later. I'd rather they know he's safe when they do. And, Raine…thanks for telling me about Hooty. Having this power means making tough choices. For what it's worth, I think you made the right one."

Despite their misgivings, Raine went down to the cells and ordered Swaard's release. "I won't tell anyone where I've been," Swaard said, as Raine escorted him to the door of the consulate. "I'm curious to see who's gonna win here. Right now, I could see it going either way, and I don't want to burn bridges on either side. I'm not going to tip the balance."

"You burnt your bridges with us the moment you murdered Luz's father," Raine said coldly. "Get out."

Swaard walked out of the door and gave a cheery wave at Raine. "See you later, mooi dame," he said with a hint of mischief in his tone, and then a red dot appeared on the side of his head. Blood spurted out of a huge hole where the dot was, and then an instant later, a bang echoed through the street. Swaard barely had time to compose his face in an expression of surprise before he died, his legs buckling and his body collapsing to the ground like a marionette with its strings cut.

The Demon Realm wasn't anything like Jack MacKinnon had expected. He had, frankly, been expecting something, well…more demonic. Not, it should be noted, because he believed Odalia's lies in the slightest. But he was given to understand that many aspects of human mythology were based in whole or in part on elements of the Demon Realm, and he figured that some of the depictions of hell were based on the Demon Realm. After all, why would Odalia have claimed such a blatantly disprovable statement? But, no, it seemed that she had just said that because she was a moron, and the Demon Realm didn't bear any resemblance to the realms that Dante had written about.

Jack figured that he'd been tricked, linguistically. The word demon came from a Greek word referring to lesser gods or spirits, who could be as morally diverse as humans. The ancient Romans copied this concept into their own religion, and when Christianity was establishing its hegemony, they sought to literally demonize competing entities, so the neutral concept of a daemon became the pure evil concept of a demon. No doubt this shift of linguistics did not occur in the Demon Realm, which kept the original meaning of the word.

As a professor of comparative anthropology at the University of Washington, Jack had always tried to keep an open mind and try to learn new things whenever possible. It was the academically responsible thing to do. So when he was offered an opportunity to participate in a cultural exchange program with the Demon Realm, he jumped at the chance. He would be able to aid in ensuring the cooperation of the two realms and learn a plethora of information about an unfamiliar universe. He couldn't imagine a better opportunity.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting from his guest, but Vee was definitely not it. The basilisk had been the victim of abuse, the depths of which Jack could scarcely comprehend. Were xe a human, Jack was pretty sure xe would have broken completely psychologically. Even now, Jack could sometimes hear xyr crying out in pain from xyr nightmares in the middle of the night, though he had done xyr a kindness and pretended he didn't. Yet despite this, Vee seemed remarkably well adjusted. Xe was polite, respectful, and found wonder and joy throughout the Human Realm, in awe of things that Jack had taken for granted.

He also definitely didn't expect Clara to find love in Vee, especially since Vee already had a girlfriend, but it was still a beautiful thing to see. Clara had been in relationships before, but she'd never been half as enthusiastic about them as she was about her relationship with Vee. A part of Jack still worried that the whole relationship would collapse, especially after his own relationship with Samantha had collapsed after she moved away. And that was to a different state! Vee would be living in a whole other universe once xyr time on Earth ended. But that was a later problem, if it became a problem at all.

Still, having a denizen of the Demon Realm in one's house was one thing; actually visiting the Demon Realm was quite another. If anything, walking in the streets of Bonesborough reminded Jack of being at a renaissance fair, albeit one inhabited by creatures that looked like they belonged in horror movies. It was going to take a lot to get used to, but Jack was still relieved he had gotten the opportunity to do so, if only a temporary visit to attend Amity's sister's wedding.

"Jack MacKinnon?" a voice warbled behind him, and Jack turned to see a multicolored octopus-like demon floating in thin air giving a menacing glare in his direction. At least he assumed it was menacing. Jack certainly felt menaced by it. Next to the demon was a cloaked and hooded witch.

"Can I help you?" Jack asked politely. It wasn't as if denying it would do any good. How many other humans were wandering around Bonesborough right now?

"You have an appointment with our boss," the witch said, and, yes, that was definitely a note of menace in her voice. "It is not one you can refuse."

The octopus was suddenly right in front of him, mere inches from his face. "Yeah. Now follow us, and don't make any sudden moves, got it? This goes well, we'll all walk away happy. It doesn't, well…you're not gonna like the consequences."

Jack was an academic, not a combatant. He didn't know the first thing about fighting. He did think about running, but he had no idea how fast the octopus could float, and he didn't want to find out. Besides, he was curious about who this boss of theirs was. So he allowed himself to be escorted to a building that, absolutely fascinatingly, was decorated in a stripped neoclassical style, in sharp contrast to the medieval architecture that most of Bonesborough had. The building appeared to be being used for government offices, which just raised further questions. Jack's captors escorted him up several flights of stairs and then brought him to the office of…the minister of education. Huh?

"We brought you the human, sir," the octopus demon said, bowing his head.

The minister of education gave a polite smile. He was a calm, professional looking witch of maybe middle age, and didn't look anything like the mafia boss type Jack had been expecting. "Well done," he said. "Professor MacKinnon, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule for joining me here."

"Well, it's not like I was given a choice," Jack joked with a nervous laugh.

The minister looked over at his subordinates with confusion. "Wait a second…Charley, Ripper, did you kidnap this man?" The two subordinates nodded eagerly. The minister did a head-desk. "Oh my Titan. Pack up your things; you're both fired." Jack's former captors sulked out of the room. "Professor MacKinnon, I am so terribly sorry," he said, sounding quite sincere. "My employees completely misinterpreted my instructions. You are free to leave as you like."

Jack was tempted to do just that, but he was curious about what the minister wanted. "Maybe later," he said. "Why am I here?"

The minister steepled his fingers. "There is no doubt quite a lot of interest in the Human Realm about learning more of the Demon Realm. What you may not be aware of is that that interest runs both ways. We are very interested in learning more about the Human Realm. To that end, I have been instructed by the prime minister to hire human faculty to teach at our universities, to educate students there about the Human Realm."

Huh. Was the minister offering him a job, then? That was definitely an unexpected turn of events. "I wouldn't blame you for refusing, especially after the preposterously rude way you were treated by my former employees. But please hear me out. We can offer you a very competitive salary, no doubt surpassing the one you have at your current place of employment. We'd like to offer you a position teaching human history at Bonesborough University. You'd have complete control over the curriculum. It's a once in a lifetime deal, professor."

The minister opened a folder and placed a contract on the desk. Jack made no move to look at it, much less sign it. "I'm going to need to consult with a lawyer before I sign anything." Jack had certainly heard enough stories in mythology about people screwing themselves over by agreeing to ill-advised deals. "And I also need to consult with my family. Provided that both of these things work out, however, I do believe I'm very interested. I do find it a bit…convenient, though, that you just happen to pick me among my many peers for this matter."

"We'll be offering these contracts to many others in due course," the minister explained. "We just decided to offer it to you first because you happened to be here on other business. And you've already proven yourself a trustworthy individual through your participation in the cultural exchange program."

That did sound reasonable enough. Jack knew that opportunities like this wouldn't grow on trees. It was an opportunity to teach in another dimension, to be the person who decided what version of human history would be taught to those in the Demon Realm. More than that, it provided an opportunity for Jack to do research of his own. He was determined to find out just how much of mythology derived from the Demon Realm, and taking on this job would be the best way to accomplish that. Of course, he would have to get Naomi's approval, but he had a hunch he could persuade her, and, naturally, Clara would jump at a chance to live in the same realm as her beloved.

After leaving the complex, Jack returned to his original destination where he'd been going before his kidnapping: Vee's orphanage. Vee had assured him xe wasn't being mistreated there, but, frankly, Vee's perception of what abuse looked like was completely out of whack from xyr ridiculously bad treatment as a lab experiment. Treatment that Jack might consider unacceptable would be considered quite generous to Vee. Fortunately, Jack's thorough inspection of the facility didn't turn anything particularly objectionable. The place and its caretakers sometimes neared that line, but never quite crossed it. It didn't look like a fun place to grow up, to be sure, but not a dangerous one.

Satisfied, barely, Jack returned to his hotel and informed Naomi of the job offer. Unexpectedly, she was entirely supportive of the idea. He had expected to have to persuade her more, but, nope, Naomi was totally on board. So once that was done, he knocked on Clara's door and received no answer. She was probably busy somewhere else, he concluded, so he left the hotel and went to find a lawyer who could help him figure out if the contract was legit. Sure enough, unless the lawyer was lying to him, it was a standard, boilerplate employment contract. That was a relief. He didn't want to sell his soul – literally – or anything like that.

When he returned to his hotel, he ran into Clara on the staircase and her clothes were drenched in blood. Jack let out a high pitched shriek. "What the hell happened, Clara?" he demanded. "Are you hurt? I thought you were supposed to be going to Emira's bachelorette party!"

"Oh, I'm fine," Clara assured him. Well, tried to. He wasn't finding her comment to be all that reassuring when the huge amount of blood on her clothes was saying otherwise. "It's not my blood. Man, it was a great party!" Now that Jack was paying attention, he noticed that Clara was slurring her words slightly.

"Clara, are you drunk?" Jack asked sternly.

Clara gave a so-so gesture. "I had a few cups of apple blood, yeah. There's no drinking age in the Isles; it's legal." Jack sighed deeply. He suspected this was not Clara's first run-in with alcohol, but he wasn't going to inquire about that so he could keep plausible deniability. She did seem to have been handling her liquor relatively well, though. "Come on, dad, it's fine! Vee kept me on the straight and narrow. Xe can be such a prude sometimes." She pouted.

"So what's with…?" He gestured at the blood all over her.

Clara looked down at her clothes as if she hadn't even noticed the blood. "Oh, man, I knew I forgot something! Really should have gotten my clothes cleaned before I left. It's traditional for the bride to go on a hunt at these parties. We killed a phoenix, but, you know, they reincarnate, so it's all good." She grinned. "I sliced its carotid artery with a sword and watched it bleed out! Then I drank some of its blood. But that made me throw up…that part wasn't so fun."

Jack tried to take deep breaths and compose himself. He knew that the Demon Realm's approach to matters was a little bit more red in tooth and claw, as it were, than the Human Realm. It was likely that this was not anywhere close to being the last incidence of violence Clara would get involved with. Being on a cultural exchange went both ways; Clara would immerse herself in demonic culture as well. But still…his little girl was drenched in blood, killed something, and enjoyed doing it. It was jarring, to say the least.

"This phoenix, was it sentient?" Jack asked, praying that the answer was no.

Clara shook her head firmly. "Emira promised me it wasn't. Sentient beings are never hunted at these events. Well, not anymore."

Jack put a hand on Clara's shoulder and then immediately regretted it when it became stained with blood. "Sweetheart, you're not in trouble this one time, but if you're going to be doing something dangerous like that, you need to get our permission first."

Clara looked down at the floor, looking somewhat ashamed. "I'm sorry, dad. But it wasn't that dangerous. We had the whole thing under control."

Jack would take Clara at her word for the moment. He would tell Naomi about all this, he decided, and her reaction would not be so sanguine as his. That would certainly teach Clara without causing him to sacrifice any of his "cool parent cred" as it were. That was a valuable and difficult to renew resource, not sacrificed cavalierly. "And no more drinking unfamiliar substances, Clara, for the love of God! This time you threw up, next time you could stop breathing!"

Clara nodded. "Good," Jack said with a sigh of relief. "I know I said that the people of the Demon Realm were just like us on the inside, but you understand I meant that metaphorically, right? Literally speaking, there are probably quite a lot of physiological differences, and we're only beginning to understand what they are." He gave her an encouraging smile. "Now clean yourself up and join me in the restaurant downstairs, because I have some exciting news for you! Oh, and bring Vee with you if xe's around."

After washing his hands very thoroughly, Jack proceeded down to the restaurant and waited for his daughter and her beloved. It took them a while to show up. Jack hoped they weren't…traveling and dressing up, he heard the expression was? Eh, he was probably just being paranoid. Vee didn't seem like the type of individual who was all that eager to jump into those things, and he had faith Clara would respect xyr boundaries.

"I've been offered a teaching job at Bonesborough University," Jack said without preamble. Clara's eyes lit up with enthusiasm. Vee looked skeptical; the news was probably so good to xyr that xe was instinctively looking for a catch. "I'm very interested in taking it, but I won't do it without your okay, Clara. If you say yes, I'll be starting at the end of your school year."

Vee put up a hand. "Would you be commuting here from the Human Realm or living here?" xe wondered. That was…actually a possibility Jack hadn't considered. He had just assumed that taking the job would mean they'd have to move to the Demon Realm. He hadn't thought about the possibility of actually not moving there.

"I think that would depend on what you want, Clara," Jack admitted. "I assumed we'd be moving here, but you're quite right, Vee, that I could commute here." He looked Clara in the face, his expression serious. "Just remember that if you move here, it's a decision that will have consequences. On the one hand, you'll be closer to your beloved, but since you'll be going to Hexside, you'll have to earn a GED later."

Clara laughed. "Come on, dad. A chance to learn magic, live in a whole new universe, and get to spend every day with Vee? It's kind of a no-brainer!"

Vee looked crushed. "Okay. I understand. It's a big ask. We can still date long distance, right?"

Clara looked confused. "I said yes?"

Vee blinked. "But…you said it was a dumb idea. A no-brainer, implying that your father had no brain for asking it of you."

"Oh, no!" Clara said with a laugh. "No, a no-brainer means that the answer was obviously yes – it didn't require a lot of use of my brain." Vee looked dreadfully embarrassed. "Hey, I'm sorry. I should be more careful when I use metaphors. Yeah, dad, I want to move here. I'm ready."

When Skara had heard that Edric was planning Emira's wedding, her first reaction had been a not inconsiderable amount of alarm. Edric had a lot of fun qualities, but being good at organization was decidedly not one of them. But it seemed that his time in the Human Realm had taught him a lot, because in mere days, Edric put together the wedding to end all weddings. Immediately upon returning to the Demon Realm, he'd recruited her as his assistant. Everything had to be just so, he explained to her. The slightest deviation from the plan could cause a total, utter catastrophe. At first, she assumed he was just being melodramatic, but then he'd explained why, and Skara had to admit he was very right.

While Skara did assist Edric in making sure that the wedding was absolutely perfect in every way, her primary job was keeping Amity distracted. Under no circumstances, Edric had made clear, was Amity supposed to come anywhere near the Temple of Gwrthddatgysylltiadaeth while Edric was preparing for the wedding. Nor was she supposed to have any contact with Luz. It was only then that Skara had learned that Mrs. Blight had stolen her daughter's memories, a horrific crime that shook Skara to the core. It was strange to think that a woman who her parents had trusted so much was capable of such evil. Fortunately, the revelation of Mrs. Blight's crimes had caused Skara's parents to turn against their erstwhile business associate.

Skara was worried that keeping Amity distracted would be difficult, but it turned out to be trivially easy. Amity eagerly latched onto Skara's friendship like a sailor clung to a lifeboat. It was one of the few things in her life that had remained constant from the point where she'd been regressed to and now. In fact, Skara was probably much closer to Amity now that they weren't being forced to hang out together by their parents. Amity was much happier about spending time with someone who she could actually remember having shared experiences with than her new friends and family.

"And remember when we threw Half A Witch Willow into that tar pit?" Amity asked as they walked through the streets of Bonesborough, not appearing to notice the pit of shame that formed in Skara's stomach when she brought up that shameful memory. "She was stuck in there for hours!"

Skara sighed. This wasn't the Amity of today, she remembered. It was the bully Skara was deeply ashamed of helping. "Amity…that was wrong. We were wrong. I was wrong. You know that, right?"

Amity's expression flickered between several very different emotions repeatedly, like she was looking at a zoetrope of her face. "I…thought you liked it."

"Yeah," Skara said with a sigh. "The worst part is you're right. I did. But it wasn't okay. Willow didn't deserve what we did to her. She's gotten so much stronger, you know, with plants. She just needed to find her own path." Amity frowned. "Hey, it's okay. Once you're back to your old self, you'll be fine!"

"I'm never going back there," Amity said, the words sounding not quite as confident as Amity had no doubt intended. "I can't. I have to keep to the straight and narrow…literally." She clasped her hands over her mouth, petrified that she'd let slip her secrets. Fortunately for her, Skara already knew and had for ages.

Skara put a reassuring hand on Amity's shoulder. "Amity, I know you like girls. I know about your crush on Boscha." Amity let out a squeak of horror. "Hell, Boscha knew about your crush on Boscha. It was really, really obvious."

Amity let out a sobbing sound. "Oh, Titan…I'm so sorry. But…but why didn't she say anything to Mother?"

"Why would she?" Skara pointed out. "It wouldn't have gained her anything." Sure, Boscha was a very spiteful individual, but she was also smart. She knew that if she'd told Mrs. Blight about Amity's crush, she'd probably several all ties with the Harts, costing them a great deal of money, and Mrs. Hart was not a forgiving woman, to say the least. "Hey, Amity, you know there's nothing wrong with liking girls. I mean, I don't, but that's just cause I'm wired to like guys only. If I liked girls, that'd be fine."

Amity looked frustrated. "But what about the Titan's will?"

"If the Titan wanted it, then why would, like, half of the coven heads be in same sex relationships?" Skara pointed out. Mrs. Blight's homophobia had been the exception, not anywhere close to the rule. Skara's parents had always thought it was bizarre that Mrs. Blight clung so tightly to a doctrine that was dropped like a stone a few years into Belos' reign when it became clear it wasn't ever going to take. "You're not gonna burn in hell. Why would the Titan damn you for something he gave you?"

Amity looked in anguish. Skara was glad she had no clue what was going on in her friend's head right now. "If that's so, then…I broke up with Luz for nothing. I hurt her." She acquired that characteristic stubborn expression she'd worn so many times and Skara grinned. Titan, had Skara missed that expression. "I need to make things right. I need to apologize."

"No!" Skara blurted. Edric had been very clear about Amity staying away from Luz. It was one of the things he was clearest about. "I mean, not yet. There are other things you need to make up for…like all the people you – we – bullied. Like Willow."

Amity's eyes lit up. "I can be friends with her again! I mean…nothing's stopping me, right? Come on!" She grabbed Skara and dragged her away at a very fast movement, the weight of Skara being hardly any obstacle. Amity had always been incredibly strong, and now she didn't even know her own strength.

The two of them found the Park residence. Amity hesitated for a few seconds before she rang the doorbell. The door opened and both of Willow's fathers were on the other step. Amity bowed her head. "Messrs. Park, it's me, Amity. I don't know if you remember me. I used to be friends with Willow…before my cowardice drove her away. If you don't want me to come in, I'll understand."

There was dead silence for a few seconds. Then the Park fathers swept Amity up in a group hug. Amity let out a yelp, but she definitely did not look like she was anywhere close to objecting. "Oh, of course you're welcome here," Sullivan said. "You always have been, Amity."

"We know you were mean to our little girl, but that's water under the bridge," Gilbert told her. "It has been for over a year. We're so sorry you can't remember that. But she's forgiven you, and so have we."

Amity laughed caustically. "I doubt she'll forgive me when she hears what I have to say, but thank you."

"Please stay for lunch, Amity," Sullivan said. "I insist." Amity looked like she was going to object for a few seconds, but then just nodded. "Good. Ah, I remember when you first came around here. You were such a happy child." Those words looked like they caused something to break inside of Amity. "She's upstairs in her room."

Skara knocked on the door this time, knowing that if she left Amity to build up the courage to knock on the door, they'd be there all day. Willow opened the door and though her grin faltered ever so slightly when she saw Amity, it didn't dissipate in the slightest. "Hi, Amity. I was wondering when we'd have this conversation. Come on in. You too, Skara."

Skara followed Amity inside of Willow's room. Amity looked in awe. "It's like this place didn't change at all," she whispered.

"Well, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?" Willow said, keeping her voice purposefully light.

Amity took a deep breath. "Willow…I'm sorry for how I treated you. My parents told me I couldn't associate with you, because your parents were…um…"

"Gay," Willow said bluntly. Amity nodded. "It's okay, Amity. I understand."

"No," Amity said firmly. "You don't. It didn't give me the right to treat you how I did. It's just…Willow, I wanted to be your friend again so much. I just…I hurt you so you wouldn't want to be mine. To remove that temptation. You were –"

Willow put up a hand. "I was never too weak to be your friend. You were too weak to be mine."

Amity opened and closed her mouth repeatedly. "How…how did you know I was going to say that?"

Willow laughed. "Because we've gone through this already, Amity! We're friends again! You just don't remember any of it." She patted Amity's hand. "You're a good person. That's what made it hurt so much when you bullied me. You weren't like Boscha. I knew you had a heart. You just chose not to use it. But when you started using it again…you were sensational."

Amity sat down on Willow's bed, her face in her hands. "Titan, I just…I'm so confused. Belos said that homosexuality was wrong. And…he's the mouthpiece of the Titan."

"Funny," Willow mused. "You didn't seem to think so highly of him when you stabbed him."

Amity blinked repeatedly. She opened and close her mouth several times. "Like…metaphorically? I stabbed him in the back by siding with the rebellion against him?"

Willow's eyes glittered with mischief. She was definitely enjoying relaying the story, and, Skara could tell, at least a little bit relishing the conflict within Amity right now. Willow forgave. She did not forget. "Oh, no, Amity," she said. "You stabbed him in the shoulder. With a knife made of compressed abomination goop. And then you told him 'stay away from my Luz' if I recall correctly." Amity's cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Hey, at least things went better than last time we did this," Willow went on.

"What happened last time?" Skara wondered.

"Oh, Amity burned my memories and she and Luz had to go inside my head to return them," Willow said casually, as if that sort of thing happened all the time. "We started to become friends again after that. It was a long, bumpy road…but we made it to the other side. You're my friend, Amity. And I'd be honored to be yours." She gave a grin. "Bring it in, friend!"

And then she hugged Amity, who looked happier than Skara had ever seen her in her life, with her memories or otherwise. "Thank you, Willow," Amity whispered. "Thank you."

Over the next couple days, Skara successfully kept Amity away from Luz as much as possible. Luz did the rest of the avoiding. Edric hadn't exactly made it clear why Amity wasn't supposed to interact with her ex-girlfriend, but Skara took her responsibilities as assistant wedding planner seriously. The two of them went to as many of their former victims as possible and apologized. Some people forgave them. Some said they'd think about it. Some of them refused to forgive them. The number of people in the first category outnumbered the second two, but there were still enough people in the other two categories to make Skara feel guilty. She had never really considered that she had anything to apologize for, since she'd really just participated in the bullying through inaction, but…it was becoming increasingly clear that she was wrong.

Soon enough, it was the day of the wedding, and Skara was really, really excited. For one, if Edric was right, Amity would have her memories back soon, and then all would be right with the world. Having an Amity that wasn't annoyingly gushing over Luz's near infinite number of positive qualities was just wrong. For another, it was the first time she'd actually attended a traditional Boiling Isles wedding. And by traditional, Skara meant that it was being conducted according to the tradition of the Savage Ages, with some, but not all that many, modernizations. Weddings had been very dull affairs under the Belos regime. This one promised to be very interesting indeed.

Once more, Skara found herself dateless. She'd had very bad luck with boyfriends over the last year. One of them had cheated on her, another had turned out to be only with her because her family was rich, and a third cheated on her and was only with her because her family was rich. Rather than trying her luck once more, she fell back on what she had done back at Grom: asking Gus to be her escort. He had cheerfully agreed, since the two of them had had such a fun time before. Gus was a gentleman, a good dancer, and an excellent conversationalist. What wasn't to like?

In fact, she was surprised at just how well she'd been getting along with Gus since his temporary return to the Demon Realm. It turned out that they shared many common interests, and he had some fascinating ideas about how bard and illusion magic could be used to compliment each other in the creation of these movies Gus kept raving about. In all honesty, it was a pity that he was asexual, because if he wasn't, Skara would have seriously considered dating him. True, he was young compared to her, but that wouldn't make much difference soon enough. Oh, well.

The Temple of Gwrthddatgysylltiadaeth was actually hewn into the mountain it was surrounded by, its fixtures appearing to blend was seamlessly into the surroundings. Gwrthddatgysylltiadaeth was said to be one of the Titan's allies in the Titanomachy that had claimed his life. According to legend, he brought forth three of the most important things in the isles: singing (he was said to have taught the first bards), dancing, and drinking. And all three of those things were being done in abundance at Viney and Emira's wedding.

Luz said it reminded her more of a rave than anything else. Skara didn't know what a rave was, but the wedding was not the sedate affairs weddings under Belos' regime had been. Those had been stiff, formal affairs that required everything to be just so and punished anyone who put so much as a toe out of line. Savage style weddings were instead jubilant celebrations, where everyone pushed themselves to the limits of their endurance, partying like there was no tomorrow. The atmosphere was unlike anything Skara had ever seen before. It reminded her of those human songs in the metal genre Luz had shown her.

And there were so many people! Skara spotted pretty much every person she knew at Hexside, plus a wide variety of very important individuals, such as the prime minister, the king, and each and every coven leader. In particular, there seemed to be a lot of members of the illusion coven present; no doubt wanting to celebrate such a monumental celebration in the life of one of their most famous members. Skara was honestly overwhelmed by it all, and the actual ceremony itself hadn't even yet started.

"Skara! Gus! Amity!" Edric called out from the other side of the room, and Skara and her entourage made a beeline for him. Hunter was standing next to him, trying to dance and abysmally failing. "Is this not one hell of a party? Am I not the best wedding planner in the history of existence?"

"This is…so much…" Amity said, looking extremely overwhelmed. "Do I have to stay for this? I mean…the noise, it's just…"

"I'm so sorry, Amity," Edric said, sounding as if he was genuinely remorseful. "But, yes, you have to stay. Your sister needs you to stay." Skara felt so bad for both Edric and Amity. Edric because, yes, it really was necessary for Amity to stay, even though it would harm her, because in the long run, it would be worth it. And Amity for obvious reasons.

Amity's eyes twitched. "I will get back at you for this. Don't think I won't." She stalked away.

Edric didn't look at all worried. "Yeah, she says that sort of thing all the time. She'll change her mind when the ceremony is over and done with, I promise you that!" He winked at Gus, who just frowned disapprovingly at him. "So, you and Gus, then? That a thing now?"

"I, uh, kind of want it to be," Skara admitted. Gus let out a groan. "But I understand why it's not. You said you're not interested in me romantically, and I respect that."

"Anyone," Gus stressed. "I'm not interested in anyone romantically, Skara, not you. This isn't about you; it's about me. You're a very nice girl. And fun to be around! Witty. An excellent conversationalist. But I can't pretend to be something I'm not."

Edric stroked his chin. "Have you ever thought about doing a queerplatonic relationship?" Skara had no clue what that meant. "According to Luz – OH, TITAN!" He let out a yelp. Skara tensed, worried that their plans had gone wrong, that Odalia had shown up, but breathed a sigh when she saw that it was just Amity returning with Jerbo at her side. Oh, very clever. Now that was an excellent bit of vengeance.

"Hey, Ed," Jerbo said with a casual wave. "One hell of a good party you've put on here. I'm impressed." He gave him an evaluating glance. "You got your shit together, didn't you?"

Edric sighed, and then nodded. "I'm so sorry I couldn't do it for you, Jerbo. I don't want you to think I hated you. We just…weren't meant to be."

"Yeah," Jerbo admitted. "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up, doesn't it? Hey, I don't bear a grudge. And congrats on snagging this lovely specimen," he added, pointing at Hunter. "He is ripped." Hunter looked down at the floor and blushed.

"UGH!" Amity complained. "Seriously?! Can't you at least pretend to hate him? What's the point of getting vengeance if you won't even get angry?" She stalked off.

Edric laughed. "Teenagers, am I right?" Skara gave the teenager that was Edric a deadpan look. "He may once have been the Golden Guard, but now the only thing he guards is my heart! That sounded better in my head."

There was a loud cry and a Stymphalian bird swooped out of the air and landed in front of them, then transformed into Vee. "Did you just say you were the Golden Guard?" Vee said, xyr expression unreadable.

Hunter flinched and then nodded. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry." He looked like he was torn between crying and begging for mercy from Vee. "I tried. I really tried to save you! I asked Belos – I begged Belos – but he said it was the Titan's will, and he chopped off my arm, and I…I just gave up after that. I can't apologize enough. Kill me if you want. I deserve it."

Vee held out xyr arms, and then xe wrapped Hunter in a hug. At first, Skara assumed xe was trying to crush him, but, no, xe appeared to be genuinely hugging him. "Edric, I can't believe your boyfriend is the Golden Guard! He was the first friend I ever had! He was so nice to me. He got me extra food and water and he even sneaked me a stuffed gashadokuro to cuddle with when I was alone."

"I…I was just doing the bare minimum, Vee," Hunter said slowly. "You do know that, right? I really should have done more. I should have joined the rebellion, but I was a coward."

"So what?" Vee said. "Without you, I don't even know if I would have made it through. You gave me hope. There's nothing more precious than that." Xe gave a huge grin, and it was like the morning sun shining in the dawn. "Oh, I've got to introduce you to my girlfriends! I don't think you've formally met. Come on!"

Edric shook his head frantically. "No! You can't! You can't…just leave things like that! You two need to talk! For a very long time. Away from here. Please, Hunter. Please. In fact, uh, didn't I hear from someone that you were going to be delayed? For the entire wedding?"

Vee rolled xyr eyes. "Oh, yeah, that thing about my shapeshifting powers being needed to rescue a kid from a well. Turned out to be a prank – the kid was just an illusion." Edric gulped and started chewing on his nails. "Okay, well, yeah, I wouldn't mind catching up with the Golden Guard."

"Hunter," he said firmly. "It's just Hunter now, Vee. How about the two of us get something to drink? I'm sure your girlfriends won't mind. Wait, did you say girlfriends? As in plural? How'd you pull that off?" Edric mouthed "thank you" at Hunter, who mouthed back "you owe me big time!" Edric gave a nervous laugh.

With that settled, Skara went to find Amity. Her job was to prevent her from having any contact with Luz in any way whatsoever. Fortunately, this turned out to be much easier than Skara thought it would be. Unfortunately, that was because Amity was sitting on a bench, clutching her ears in pain and rocking back and forth. "It's just too much," she whispered.

"It's okay, sweetie," Skara said, and then pressed the rag containing the…chloroform, she thought Luz had called it…onto Amity's lips. "I got you." She went limp and closed her eyes.

Skara held Amity in her arms on that bench for the rest of the pre-wedding ceremony as Edric put the next stage in his plans into effect.. She knew that she was probably being a bad date, but Gus would understand. And in any event, Gus seemed to be too busy keeping Luz away from Amity – a much, much more difficult feat than the converse – to notice.

The sound of thunder echoed throughout the room, instantly quieting the reveling. Skara cast a spell to revive Amity, who seemed to think she had just fainted naturally. "Gwrthddatgysylltiadaeth welcomes Emira Bright and Viney Kudzu," the high priest intoned from her position on the stage. She was wearing a thick black robe and carrying a dagger with a wavy pattern to the blade in her hand. "Today, these two women are to be joined together in the bonds of matrimony."

A pair of trapdoors opened in the floor and platforms containing the happy brides were levitated onto the stage. They looked absolutely stunning, dressed in full plate armor decorated in elaborate patterns and iridescent colors. Skara hoped she would look half as amazing when the time came for her wedding.

"A marriage is not something entered into cavalierly, Viney Kudzu and Emira Bright," the high priest warned them. "It is a partnership. You both have weaknesses, as you have strengths. It is your responsibility to pool your strengths to make up for your weaknesses. May the Titan bless this union, and gift you with strong warrior children."

Viney and Emira removed the gauntlets from their hands. The high priest sliced their hands open and let blood pour into a pair of goblets. She placed the goblet containing Emira's blood in front of Viney and vice versa. The two of them drank each other's blood, signifying that they were offering themselves to one another in an indivisible bond.

"With your blood now intermingling, unless anyone knows a reason these two should not be wed, by the authority invested in me by Gwrthddatgysylltiadaeth, the Titan, and the government of the Boiling Kingdom, I now pronounce –"

The doors to the temple slammed open with a thud that somehow sounded louder than any of the previous partying did, and Odalia Blight walked into the room. "I do believe I'll be objecting," she purred. She gave a serpentine smile at Emira. "How remiss of you to not invite the mother of the bride to your wedding, Emira."

"On the contrary," Emira said calmly. "Mrs. Kudzu is right here," she said, pointing to Viney's mother, who had been sobbing throughout the whole ceremony, but now was eyeing Odalia with an expression of pure murder in her eyes.

Odalia snapped her fingers and an entire row of partygoers dropped dead, including the leader of the beast keeping coven, just like that. "You would defy me, your own mother?" she snarled. "After everything I have done for you, I expected better of you, Emira. Was it not I who ensured you would have the best future possible, despite your disgusting personal habits and undignified behavior? Was it not I who fed you, clothed you, and housed you? And this is how you repay me, by not inviting me to your wedding?"

Emira stuck out her tongue at Odalia. "After everything you did to me, you mean. I haven't forgotten how you abused me, 'mother.' How you hit me, choked me, whipped me! But that was nothing compared to what you did to my baby sister. You brainwashed her into thinking she was going to burn in hell for her natural feelings." Amity looked shocked Emira was sticking up for her. Emira directed a savage grin at Odalia. "This whole wedding was a trap, Odalia. I knew you couldn't resist making an appearance. And here you are."

Odalia let out a cackle. "Here I am," she agreed. "But, of course, I didn't come alone." On cue, dozens of skeleton warriors stormed into the temple.

"How dare you befoul this holy ground with the undead?!" the high priest snarled. Odalia made a fist and blood poured out of all the orifices on the high priest's head, and she fell to the ground dead a few seconds later.

"TO ARMS!" Edric called out, and the fight was on. If Skara thought the cacophony of the celebration was bad, the battle was even louder than that. Most of the guests had brought weapons with them, in accordance with tradition, and almost all of them were dueling skeleton warriors with their magic or their swords. It was truly an epic fight, worthy of a Savage Age wedding. Skara even wondered if mock battles would become a new tradition at these shindigs.

Skara's bard magic, unfortunately, was quite useless against beings without any actual emotions to affect. She instead shielded Amity from harm, punching and kicking at any skeleton warriors that came too close. While all this was happening, Odalia was dueling the Owl Lady, who was expertly countering Odalia's every spell with contemptuous ease. Amity barely noticed any of this; she was too busy rocking back and forth, having a sensory overload. Skara used her magic to ease it, but it was extremely difficult considering just how intense the sound was.

The tide was turning against the skeleton warriors. As fearsome and fearless as they were, they were no match for witches and demons united with a single purpose: to ensure Emira and Viney's wedding went forward successfully. The brides themselves were fighting back to back with battle axes almost as big as they were. By the awed looks they were giving each other in between hacking and slashing away at bones, Skara had a hunch they were going to have a very active night. Skeleton after skeleton fell to the powers of the guests. Odalia looked like she was panicking, her gambit failing before her very eyes.

"You were never really good at the whole fighting thing, were you, Dalia?" Eda called out, as she tanked yet another spell with contemptuous ease. She was in her harpy form now, a truly wild witch, a perfect blending of the old and the new, completely in balance with her surroundings. "Yeah, I remember in Hexside, you never could take a punch. Always had to go running to old Bumpy. Well, he's not here to save you now!"

"Actually, I am here," Bump corrected her. "But, no, I'm not going to save you, Odalia. What you did to your children was reprehensible. To think that a Hexolio could fall so far from grace. You shame my school with your actions."

"ODALIA!" Mrs. Noceda called out suddenly. Odalia instinctively turned to face her, and then Mrs. Noceda shot her twice in the chest with the gun she'd summoned forth with a glyph. Odalia took a healing potion, and then Mrs. Noceda shot her three more times for good measure. After taking another healing potion, Odalia tried to throw her against the wall, but only had enough power to throw her a couple feet instead.

Eda took advantage of Odalia's momentary distraction to slice her across the face, and then, with clinical precision, sever her jugular vein, causing her to sink to her knees, blood flowing from her neck, just as the last of the skeleton warriors was defeated. Emira stormed over to her and raised the battle axe high into the air. With the noise gone, Skara's bard spells finally had the effect she'd been hoping for and Amity was back to her usual self. She looked at the defeated figure of her mother with hope and bewilderment simultaneously dancing in her eyes.

"Please, Emira," Odalia begged. "You wouldn't kill your own mother…"

"You're not my mother," Emira said coldly, and then she beheaded Odalia in one swift movement. Odalia's head fell into the punch bowl with a squelching sound, spraying the nearby partygoers with both blood and punch.

There was silence for a few moments. Come on, Amity! Skara thought desperately. Say it!

Before Amity could react further, the doors opened once more and Vee came skipping into the room with Hunter beside xyr. "Sorry, Ed!" he called out. "I couldn't delay xyr any longer…"

Vee made a beeline to Odalia's headless corpse and xyr eyes lit up in astonishment. "Party favors!" xe said gleefully. "How swanky! Don't mind if I do!" And with that, xe began chowing down on Odalia's carcass, eating it very messily. "Delicious! Chewy and smoky, but with a minty aftertaste! Five stars!" The chewing of flesh and the crunching of bones echoed throughout the room. Willow eyed her datemate with naked desire in her eyes. Clara, by contrast, had fainted.

Skara squeezed Amity's hand. "You know what you have to do," she said softly.

Amity nodded and walked straight over to Näkijä. Luz followed her. "I want my memories back," Amity said. "Please. Do it now, before I change my mind."

"Very well," Näkijä said, obviously having expected this. Näkijä had not participated in the fight, merely watching it with amusement while she sipped on a glass of human wine. "Miss Noceda, you will have to go into Miss Bright's head and secure the cooperation of her inner self. Only she can return the memories. You will likely have to persuade her; the subconscious mind is always harder to convince than the conscious."

Amity pointed over at Mrs. Noceda. "I want her there too," she said. She cleared her throat. "That is, if you don't mind?"

Mrs. Noceda gave her a warm smile. "Of course I don't mind, Amity," she said. "I'm honored by your trust." Näkijä waved a hand and put Amity to sleep. Then with another spell, both Mrs. Noceda and Luz disappeared into Amity's mind.

Skara breathed a sigh of relief. Their gambit had finally paid off. With a wave of his hand, the head of the illusion coven dissipated the elaborate illusions they'd cast while Amity was briefly unconscious. What had seemed to be the flesh and bones of Odalia turned back into their true form of vestigial illusion magic. Vee continued eating the magic, unheeding of what was going on around xyr.

When Edric had told Skara his plan, to make a completely illusory fight that would trick Amity into thinking Odalia was dead, thus giving her the confidence to get her memories returned, Skara had thought he was off his rocker. She had never thought such a scheme would succeed, especially if Vee was unable to restrain xyrself from eating the exceptionally potent illusion magic. But Edric had managed to pull it off, producing a drama worthy of the most impressive of plays. They'd even managed to keep Luz - who would no doubt let something slip if confronted with her ex-girlfriend - away from Amity until the moment was right.

The next stage of the plan was now out of their hands. It was up to Mrs. Noceda and Luz to get Amity's memories back. Skara prayed they'd be up to the task.