There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that Shouta loved more than being pressed against his husband. The warmth of his body, the feel of his hair brushing against his shoulder or even his cheek if he was lucky enough, the smell that clung to it that carried a rather surprising woodsy smell to it. Like the blonde had been in the woods recently. It was faint on him as the cologne he wore during the day often masked the scent of his hair products.
The scent of his body wash but Shouta loved that he could still catch whiffs of it beneath the fading cologne. His warmth, his scent, the sound of his voice just so close to his ears as he himself sat so close that he could press his lips against Hizashi's ear if he so dared too. The earrings there, the three small studs chasing after the eight millimeter gauges, the double helix that was on his right ear would no doubt wink at him if he sat on that side which he loved to do.
While Shouta was far from scared of piercings, he wasn't the type to see himself getting anything done. No matter how much Hizashi had whined that he would look unbelievably hot with a set of earrings in his lobes but Shouta stood firm. He didn't think he would look good with anything like that but Hizashi? The man was practically made for piercings. Shouta loved being this close to his husband, loved it so much.
It was like being wrapped in a warm, heavy blanket then tucked into a bubble that was filled with the essence of comfort. He was unbelievably, unimaginably relaxed against his husband on the best nights. After his serious laps of control earlier, Shouta had dove headfirst into grading and into replying to emails, phone calls even, with such gusto that by the time Hizashi was halfway through his pile across from him the brunette was jumping up.
He admitted the work kept him busy, but he was tense at the thought that even a spare moment would let the fantasy, let the primal clawing, rip at him once again until he was screaming at Hizashi just like a child in the midst of a tantrum. When he was shutting his laptop he noticed the blonde staring at him worriedly. He then replied with a thin smile claiming to have started long before he came home.
He then scooped up his items quickly and was about to rush from their little dining room when Hizashi had stopped him to press a light, pecking kiss to his cheek then to his nose before claiming he was proud of Shouta. He just-That was so unfair! So unbelievably cruel of Hizashi. Shouta had thrown himself into finding any and all little things to do while dinner was ordered, Hizashi hummed in a distracted tone as he worked.
Eri was playing upstairs now with Hitoshi who went along begrudgingly. It had been rather normal until dinner arrived. Hizashi shouted with such gusto as he jumped to his feet, the chair screeching back as he rushed to accept the food and Shouta was unsure of just how to go about the rest of their night. He flew through his work, he flew through the hour or two that it took for that alone, but sitting with Hizashi?
Cuddled up to his side? Breathing in the soft, woodsy scent mixed in with the fading traces of his cologne? His head, undoubtedly given Hizashi's coaxing, pressed to his shoulder where his nose would press against his throat and just where the scents seemed to be intoxicatingly strong? A hand softly stroking through his hair only to rub circles idly behind his ear? It sounded like paradise. It sounded like Hell.
Shouta held himself back from nudging Hizashi's foot while they were eating dinner, Eri happily but timidly chatting about her day then looking to Hitoshi when it was his turn and of course it was what you would expect of a typical teenager. Hizashi and Shouta had traded a look as the teen told his story but they could all but sense the eye roll that Hitoshi would have if the two teachers even began spilling about their academic day which would absolutely be bland.
After all, the two men and teenager all had the same routine today, the same lessons, the same information just from different perspectives so what was the point? After leftovers were put away, Eri had demanded to watch a favorite movie of hers and for the life of him he could hardly remember the name nor watching the actual thing. It was impossible to recall anything about it. Not when he had spent an hour in the dimly lit living room pressed up against his husband.
Cuddled up to him, the blonde had wrapped his arm around his lower back tonight rather than play with his hair as usual. His thumb rubbed circles into his waist idly, underneath the blanket they had draped across their laps. Shouta could hardly remind himself that he needed to breathe until his head was quite literally spinning. Spinning, his lashes fluttering in quick blinks, his air stuck in his throat when he peeked at Hizashi.
Did he notice? Was he-Could he be catching on? He wasn't an idiot! Hizashi wasn't! Shouta knew that better than anyone! So then why did he merely appear so absorbed in the stupid movie as that thumb continued to rub circles into his waist? Movements that, even through his shirt, made his skin tingle? Sent shivers of longing up his spine as he tried his best to focus on the movie as Eri cuddled up between Hizashi and Hitoshi, her eyes glued to the screen?
Such a normal, casual night like any other and yet he felt as though he were dying. Thrown into an ocean without the ability to swim and he was drowning with his lips tightly shut but he knew eventually he'd breathe in and it would hurt. That's the situation he was in now. Trying, absolutely trying so hard to regulate his breathing because he knew Hizashi would feel the difference against his skin.
And God it was so hard to keep his air from stuttering or rushing out too fast when Hizashi's fingers dug in then began kneading at his lower back. When he rubbed it comfortingly making him stiffen with the urge to arch his back into the touch. These were all normal touches, normal routine, normal, normal, normal! And yet he was suffering in what could either be a horrible or good way.
He knew, knew deep in his gut, if he wasn't so frustrated or tense he would be able to enjoy this more like he did any other night. He knew he would smile fondly, clicking his tongue playfully at Eri singing under her breath along with the songs before looking at Hizashi or Hitoshi who would then either sing cheerfully or sing awkwardly respectively. But he just couldn't do that tonight. When was this movie going to end?
When, when, when? He couldn't take this much longer! The long nights with Hizashi's arms and legs tangled around him, the blonde's face buried against his collar bone were painful, but he could handle them so much better than this for the simple fact that Hizashi was asleep. He wasn't awake, touching him idly without a second thought. He wasn't awake wreaking utter havoc on Shouta's control.
God, I just need-! Just give me a fucking break! Come on, Zashi, you're not stupid! Stop, stop, stop, please! You're killing me and I swear to God if you keep doing this to me I'm going to kill you if you don't pick up on it just-! Fucking please, please, please help me out, Hizashi, please, I can't fucking do this any-!
"Okay, kiddos! Movie's over, let's start getting ready for bed, shall we? It's getting late and you both have school tomorrow! That means it's time to jammie up!"
Hizashi's voice broke him out of his spiral making him yank himself away, ignoring the surprised but rapidly growing hurt look on Hizashi's face as he threw the blanket off his lap and stood up quickly. He looked instead to Hitoshi who stood up in a slinking movement before stretching his arms above his head, groaning quietly before rubbing at his face then staring down at Eri who was now pouting rather adorably.
Weirdly enough she looked like Hizashi when she pouted. The way her little brows came together; her eyes grew stormy right down to the way her lower lip jutted out giving her a rather puffy cheeked look. Just like the blonde parent, it was remarkable. Adorable even. "But Daddy can't we just watch one more? Please? I wanna watch one more!"
"No, Eri! You heard him, it's getting late and there's school tomorrow, so get upstairs and get in your pajamas! It's time for bed!" Shouta was harsher than he needed to be, cold without intending to be and the snap in his voice was like a whip striking their daughter who jerked at the sound with wide eyes.
Hizashi along with Hitoshi stared at Shouta with wide eyes as well. If he could he'd be staring at himself the same way. Him, Shouta Aizawa, was snapping at her? Their princess? The one he doted on like crazy and adored wildly? His kryptonite that he gave everything too? His princess?
He grits his teeth as he stared back at the girl who stared at him with those wide eyes. And then, just like earlier, tears began to glisten in her eyes though they appeared stoic just like the rest of her face. She began moving off of Hizashi's lap, the blonde wordlessly helping her to the floor where she then flew across the living room and out into the hallway. Her feet were loud on the stairs, like thunder in his ears.
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, Eri but I can't sit through another movie tonight. I'm so, so sorry, Eri, I'll make it up to you I promise. Promise, promise, promise but God help me I just can't take anymore of this goddamn sexual ten-
"Damn." Hitoshi mumbled under a breath causing Shouta's softening face of regret to tighten into a sharp look as his head whipped to his direction, his eyes flashing at the teen as if preparing to strike him down with his words as well.
The indigo-haired teen stared at his father figure in surprise. He'd seen the man in many different phases, in many different moments of emotions but this? This was...weird. Shouta watched Hitoshi's hands raise up as if going for the most innocent image as possible as he began an awkward shuffle around the coffee table, walking around his parents, making sure to never put his back to the black-haired man as if he were some kind of lion stalking him.
A lion that would rip him apart to shreds the moment he showed his back. As if he were the only menacing person in the family which, in fact, he was not. If anything, Shouta was like the flicker of lightning before the deafening boom of thunder. And one look, one fast snatched glance as he had stood to walk around the coffee table and then to Shouta had him moving faster. It took a mere look at his blonde parent spoke of the thunder that was no doubt building.
If that hard look in his green eyes had anything to say about it. He didn't think it was quite anger he spotted in Hizashi, at least not from what he could tell. Perhaps outrage? Confusion? "I'll be upstairs in my room then. Don't kill each other, please? It'd be hard to find different parents this late in the game."
"Just go upstairs, Toshi!" Hizashi sighed the words as he shifted backwards against the back of the couch, his foot coming up to press against the edge of the coffee table and jiggled violently as he stared at the teen who shrugged his shoulders before leaving.
Hizashi switched the TV off, making the sound of Hitoshi's feet on the stairs the loudest thing between them, both remaining quiet until the sound of a door shutting could be heard and only then did Hizashi speak. "What the fuck was that about?"
Shouta felt his shoulders twitch in the urge to jerk them up, to hide his face as he would with his capture weapon, but he kept them from rising up as he looked to his husband who was staring up at him. His eyes were bright with-with anger? Did he actually finally manage to press the wrong button in Hizashi? It wasn't usual that the blonde was genuinely angry or irritated but they did happen.
Shouta was always left surprised by the reminder that even someone as happy and loud as his husband could become angry. What could he say? That he had been strangely triggered by his daughter wanting to watch another movie? Yeah, because that was completely rational. He'd then have to spit out the facts that he refused because he wanted to talk to Hizashi, spill out the bubbling emotions in his chest that writhed unpleasantly and was immediately angry-?
No, not angry but rather panicked at the thought of not having this opportunity. It was selfish. It was thoughtless. It was absolutely horrible of him to act that way to their daughter. Even his reaction to the teenager was uncalled for, wasn't it? God, he thought he controlled himself better. Was it just that today was a bad day? No, that wasn't it. Every day he'd been frustrated, irritated, desperate and needy but tonight he didn't bother hiding it for once.
Was he actually slipping again? He swore he was doing so good at keeping it under tight control but was he actually losing it again? His slip up in here earlier was unforgiveable but was he doing it again? Was he-? "Shouta! Are you listening to me?"
He blinked then focusing his gaze on his husband only to feel a shiver slide down his spine making him swallow at the sight of Hizashi's angry, expectant face and he let out a quiet breath to ground himself. Could he tell him? Should he tell him now? It could be seen as so unrelated to the situation at hand that it would perhaps make Hizashi angrier if he didn't get the right explanation out of Shouta.
What would he do? Would he be the one screaming at Shouta rather than the other way around? Hizashi rarely shouted at him but when he did-God, it was something. Just the way his eyes flashed, his nostrils flaring and the way his lips curled into an angry sneer as his brows came together tightly on his forehead all made this strange beauty in him come out to play in a way that Shouta could appreciate.
Literally the stupid thought of 'wow you're so pretty when you're angry' but with Hizashi it was true. Sometimes he would get so mad his hands flew around making his hair tremble and shake around his shoulders, sometimes even making it fly around his face if he got angry enough, and his voice always dripped with venom that scolded Shouta. But what always, without fail, linked his anger to the shiver that had slid down his spine?
Sometimes, depending on what they were fighting about, Shouta would find himself pinned to the closest surface or piece of furniture to them. Sometimes, they'd kiss so viciously it made his lips throb. Would that happen now? Would Hizashi snarl and growl at him while pressing his lips to his skin making it vibrate? The couch was right there, so easily convenient for him to be thrown onto and pinned against so tightly he couldn't breathe.
And maybe, just maybe Hizashi would rip his thighs apart with enough force to make his hips ache only to remedy it with the maddening grinding rhythm of his hips against his own until Shouta's breaths were those fluttering, airy gasps that never failed to make him embarrassed later. That maddening, angry pace Hizashi adopted when they fucked if either of them were slightly angry and Shouta would go along with that pace then build upon.
Meet those slamming thrusts, building on it, until they were both shouting at the top of their lungs as they twisted and writhed and rutted against each other. Just the thought, the mere thought, of Hizashi pinning his knees to his chest or even to his shoulders as he pounded into him was far more arousing than it should have been. The thought of clawing at the couch, of clawing at the soft warm skin, biting those shoulders adorned with the softest smatterings of freckles.
Freckles that went with the tiny little portion across the bridge of his nose. They always begged for kisses, no matter what they were doing. It made his husband look so adorable no matter what his emotional state was. It honestly made him miss the little gap in his front teeth and when he had his braces. So adorable his husband used to be. But now he was standing before the blonde and all he can want and need so badly his fucking knees pinned up to his shoulders.
Jesus, why did he-?
"Oi! Shouta, listen! Fucking listen to me! What are you doing?" Hizashi's snapping voice ripped him from his thoughts making him jump in his skin at just how close the blonde had gotten to him and he stepped back instinctively when his stomach squirmed at the proximity. Not good. It wasn't good but it was so goddamn tempting to reach out. "You know, you're a douchebag on good days but today you're just a straight up dick! What the fuck got into you just now? You never snap at Eri like that!"
Ah. The guilt threatened to choke him once again. Again, again, again he got caught up in his own dirty thoughts and wasn't listening. Wasn't focusing on what he had done wrong and was instead thinking about those little scandalous memories. The little fantasies that buzzed on the edges of his mind. He wasn't listening and he could tell it was only serving to make his husband angrier. No, upset?
He couldn't pin the emotion but he flinched at the guilt squirming in his chest. He was positively awful tonight. Disgusting, selfish, and mean. Three words to accurately sum him up in one night and he hated that. Hated the thought of those tears sparkling in Eri's eyes like that when all he could think of was a horrible line of sexual fantasies. No better than Mineta, now was he? Truly losing control just because he was a little horny? Pathetic.
"You said to try not to snap at Eri because you want her to learn to use her words before getting mad like that and snapping! The fuck is wrong with you? It's not just tonight either, it's been all fucking week whenever we're home! Do you have something you need to talk to me about? Like, seriously, what crawled up your ass and fucking died there lately? Because whatever the fuck it is needs to crawl right on out!"
"Nothing. I-Nothing crawled up my ass and died." Shouta mumbled reaching up to rub his pinky against the corner of his eye as he fought to keep the pout off his lips as Hizashi glared at him, eyes turning into angry slits as he waited for the black-haired man to continue. So, there it was; the chance to spill it out. So where were his words? The whimpers, the begging he thought he would do, the desperation? "I didn't mean to snap at her, I just-"
"You just what?"
He stared at Hizashi's face feeling guilt positively strangling him as it then burst through his chest so forcefully he felt the words dissolve on his tongue as his hands wriggled with the feeling. Fingers picking at the skin on the side of his nails as he looked down. He really was selfish, wasn't he? So childish. Immature. "Nothing. Never mind, it's not important right now."
"Yes, it is! You need to explain why the fuck you did that, Sho!" Hizashi snapped when his hands flew up, thumbs pressed to his fingers in that pinched position that used playfully when making Italian food only now the irritation burned brightly in the actions as he shook his hands. "Fucking explain it! Talk to me about it and let me help you! You never walk through your own emotions, so they get all tangled up, right? So let me help you!"
"I- It's just- Zashi, I just wanted to-!" He paused, swallowed only to marvel at just how tight his throat felt as he continued digging his fingers into the skin on the side of his nails before looking away from his husband again. "It's really not important. We can talk about it later and-"
"I want to talk about it now! Shouta, I can do my best to help you but I can't do anything if you don't tell me what you need! Because you being a dick is not going to fly or get you very far, man, and I won't let it! So can you jus-"
"Daddy? Can you come help me find my pajamas? The ones I want aren't there! And Toshi can't find'em either." Eri's trilling voice rang down the stairs cutting off Hizashi's hissed words making both men look over Shouta's shoulder to the doorway when the blonde sighed out lifting his hands up to yank through his long blonde locks. Shouta felt guilt cramping in his chest at the sound of her voice when Hizashi glared at him reaching up to his ears to tug the hearing aids out of his ears. The black-haired man instinctively held his hand out for them which Hizashi slapped into his palm angrily before marching past.
"I'm comin', Eri!" Hizashi called out brushing past Shouta before glaring at him once again as he paused to twist to face the man, pointing his finger rather menacingly at Shouta. "We're not done, buster. Not by a fucking long shot."
Then he marched out of the living room leaving Shouta standing there, painfully aware of the emptiness in the room as Hizashi stomped up the stairs, the sound disappearing once he got to the top and he gasped in a breath. It was loud, rasping and scraping down his throat, the sound amplified by the darkness as he curled his fingers around the hearing aids before forcing his shaking legs to walk.
He had to walk. Shower. Shower, shower, shower! Get to the shower and wash it off, get it out, out, out! He felt as if he were navigating blind as he stumbled over his own feet out of the living room, down the hall and through the kitchen as he braced his left hand against the wall and his fisted right one against the other side as he forced himself to control the urge to stumble as he rushed to the bedroom.
Guilt and arousal were eating him. They were gnawing at his bones, and he felt disgusted that not only had he upset his daughter but by extension upset his husband and here he was about to jump in a shower to masturbate. Guilt flickered whenever he thought of those wide eyes, all three pairs, staring at him as if he were a stranger. Arousal at how Hizashi's voice had dropped to a hiss and how his eyes narrowed into angry slits.
Guilt at how hesitant Eri had sounded when she called down to them. Arousal again when he thought of the way Hizashi's lips curled as he pointed at Shouta before leaving the room. Guilt, arousal, guilt, arousal. His head was spinning as he fluctuated between the two emotions rapidly while he made his way into the bedroom, the doors grinding in their tracks as he flew them open then slammed them shut.
He had minutes, mere minutes, to get this done. He placed Hizashi's hearing aids on the bedside table of his side then bolted for their bathroom, His breaths embarrassingly loud in his ears, his heart already slamming as if to pump his arousal, his lust, and his desperation through his veins faster. It was catching up to him, beginning to claw at him underneath his skin as he slammed the bathroom door behind himself.
Rushing to the shower sticking his hand into the shower, turning the water on, then sitting down on the closed toilet seat. He needed to calm down! He needed to have some sense of control, didn't he? He was in his thirties for God's sake! He wasn't some horny sixteen year old! He had two children on top of that, one the embodiment of impulsivity and the other so careless they needed to learn how to grasp the topic of control.
Yet here he was whimpering under his breath as he wriggled leaning back against the tank of the toilet, reaching down lifting his shirt up, trailing his fingers over his skin making it twitch and quiver as he pressed his lips together pulling the shirt over his head. He had minutes. He had to speed this up a little more for now was not the time to tease himself. Tomorrow he would, for Hitoshi had his study group and Eri was going to be with his students because-
Because why? He couldn't remember, all he knew was Hizashi wouldn't be home tomorrow until later which gave him a whole hour or so to take his time. And yet he found himself whimpering under his breath. His back arching when he lightly brushed his fingers across his nipples in a similar manner Hizashi would. It was astronomical how a simple action like that sent longing to through him making his stomach clench with the emotion even as his growing erection twitched.
The toilet's tank was frigid against his back as he flicked a thumb over his nipple, shivering at the sensation it sent through him, before humming quietly in satisfaction when it perked up beneath his thumb. Whether it was from the touch or the chill he had no clue, not one damn clue. Maybe it was both that sent jolts of electricity to his groin though each time he rubbed his thumb against the nub before pinching it tightly.
He felt breathless at how such a simple pinch had those tingles radiating down. It sent a jolt of pain through him making his hips jerk up and his arms jump in response. His gaze flickered to the door, straining his ears to hear above the running water, wondering how long it would take Hizashi to find a pair of pajamas and come back down to the bedroom after laying their daughter down. Was he rushing or taking his time?
Maybe five minutes? Ten or so if Eri insisted on a book since she wasn't allowed a second movie. Shouta whined, the sound high and reedy in the back of his throat as he teasingly flicked swirled his thumb around his areola before circling in tightly around the nipple but not pressing against the stiff little thing. Not yet. He trailed his other left hand down quickly across his stomach that was quivering with excitement, much like the rest of him as his thighs twitched open wider.
He had to bite his lip with a rough swallow to keep the moan from flying out of him when he pressed his fingers against the bulge of his erection. His head moved back to press against the wall as he slid his hand against the bulge, his breath racing out of him at the pleasure it ignited in his chest as his hips bucked up into his hand when he began rubbing earnestly. He rolled the heel of his palm against his erection with a little moan.
His hips bucking up once again before pressing down grinding against his temporary seat as his squirmed. He hated himself. He despised the man known as Shouta Aizawa. He was a coward, he was an ugly little fearful thing, and he hated that he hadn't said anything. Why-How, could he have said nothing? Maybe, maybe, he wouldn't be in this situation right now. He was never scared of telling Hizashi anything.
In fact, he had done so with little prompting in their youth and almost no prompting now from the blonde but here he was unwilling to say anything. Was it because they were already weeks into this? Or was it because some part of his brain was convinced he could take care of it himself? But that-It was- why was he so desperate if he could take care of it himself? His skin felt as if it was tingling with the screaming need to be touched by Hizashi.
His bones aching to be squeezed painfully tight by the man, so powerfully. Just the thought of the throbbing pain of a bone tight squeeze from his husband had him squirming as he rubbed at himself faster feeling his body jolt as his toes curled tightly. Imagine if he had one of their vibrators right now. Had Hizashi used any recently? Shouta knew the blonde would know if he went to power one on.
Oh, but just imagine Hizashi touching him, pressing his fingers against his thighs as his tongue dragged against his erection with that sinful tongue ring rubbing against the veins then against the weeping slit. Imagine his fingers, those amazing thin and long fingers that were littered with tiny little scars from past injuries thrusting into him as he cried out as he was prepared. Imagine how goddamn good it would feel to have Hizashi pushing into him.
The burn of those muscles stretching to accommodate the man which would be so tight because it had been so long. He whimpered pressing his head fiercely to the wall, his feet shifting up onto his toes as his hips rose off the toilet and he ground his hand against his erection gasping as his hips bounced instinctively before settling for rutting against his palm as he gasped in air that was thick and heavy from the heating water.
He just needed-just a few more minutes- he just wanted- had to have-! "Hizashi! Zashi, Zashi, please! I'm- I can't take it any-anymore! Mmmm, ah, please, please! Just touch me! I ne-need it! Ngh! Please, Zashi!"
Was that really him? That whimpering, pathetic tone? He needed to get in the shower but the friction of his pants rubbing against his erection was so sinfully good even if he knew how much better it was going to feel when he jumped in the shower. He forced his hand to stop moving, swallowing the mangled sound rising in his throat at the loss of pleasure, gritting his teeth as he forced himself to his feet yanking his belt through the loops of his pants, rippling the button of his fly open then shoving his pants along with his boxers down to his feet.
He kicked at them impatiently before twisting for the shower, panting wildly as he threw open the curtain stepping into the shower and throwing it shut as he turned his face up to the water feeling it begin to soak into his hair, but he didn't care about that. He had more important things to take care of first before he washed himself. Much more important things. He looked down at himself, hands shaking much like his legs.
God, that desire throbbing painfully through him as he curled his fingers around the base of his erection. His breathing came quickly with excitement as he braced an arm against the wet wall, pressing his forehead against his forearm as he whined once he began moving his hand. While he wouldn't say he was the best nor the worst at getting himself off, he found it was so much harder when his mind screamed his husband's name like a banshee wail.
Like it would merely summon the blonde to take care of him. Give him all those things he wanted in his fantasies. In the hottest of wet dreams. God, it had his hips jerked as if wanting to get away from his own hand, that it wasn't enough when he knew Hizashi could do it so much better. He always did it so much better. It was as if Hizashi knew Shouta's entire body, his erogenous zones, as well as he knew his own.
As if he knew just what to do to have Shouta writhing and shouting with pleasure. He felt a tingle of embarrassment, weirdly enough, at the sound of his loud panting as he grits his teeth at the pleasure and frustration each doing their best to rip through him. He moved his hand quickly as he swallowed down another moan that wanted to rip out of his throat, whether of frustration or pleasure he had no clue, but he was quickly losing himself to the emotions.
He whimpered softly to himself as he began rutting forward desperately into his hand and a cry left his lips as he pressed the pad of his thumb against the head of his erection then directly to the slit there. The shudders that ran down his spine were something else as he moved his thumb in tight little circles against the head of his erection until his hips were moving, thrusting in a frenzy as he began stroking again.
He was right there- almost, almost there!- and yet it danced from his grasp. It clawed at him but seemed languid, slow rather than fast like he wanted as it continued to surge upwards but the thought of orgasming was dancing farther away. Literally. He ground his teeth together when he heard the faint muffled sound of the bedroom doors sliding open then shutting which sent a jolt through his core.
His eyes flew open and he lifted his head to stare in the direction of the bathroom door. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! While Hizashi wouldn't hear him, thank God, the man had eyes. He wasn't blind. If he even suspected Shouta was in the shower, would he join him? Hizashi loved to be in the shower with Shouta but here lately they hardly showered together and while the dark-haired man missed it, he also couldn't help but be so unbelievably grateful that he hadn't been caught.
It was as if he was a teenager again, late at night waking from a wet dream and trying to get off without his mother and stepfather hearing him. While it wasn't unusual, in recent times, for him to get off in the shower he knew that Hizashi would feel awful. He would place blame on himself if he heard Shouta, if he saw the desperation in his eyes and the way it tightened the features of his face. How sometimes it could bring Shouta to tears.
He needed to hurry up, he needed to-he had to just- a little more- one little thing, one tiny thought could push him over but what was it-? What coul-? His husband was going to possibly walk in if he didn't-!
Imagine if Hizashi walked in, if he threw open the shower curtain catching him like some kind of horny teenager and those lovely, beautiful eyes of his dropped down right as he-
His breath gasped so suddenly, so sharply that it was near painful as his legs trembled, the sound louder than it needed to be and he choked it off as his jaw dropped in a silent cry as his orgasm ripped through him viciously. Mercilessly. The arm braced on the wall squirmed and his hand slipped against the wall, nails clawing at the smooth surface as his hips jerked forward in a stuttered rhythm with each pulse his dick gave.
Holding his breath through the bone aching, unsatisfied waves finally ebbed out of him leaving him positively aching for more. When he was finally breathing out slumping forward moving his hand from his fading erection to press against the wall. His legs shook as he struggled to get his breathing under control, the water streaming down his back as a heavy and languid sensation began flowing through his limbs.
Shutting his eyes as he leaned forward with those shaky breaths leaving him. He pressed his forehead against the cool wall of the shower. And strangely enough, through the euphoria and frustration of his orgasm he felt his lower lip give a quiver surprising him. The thick feeling of tears clogging his throat was unusual, the way his eyes opened only to burn and water as the sight of the shower wall began waving in a smear of color.
What was he doing? Shouta Aizawa wasn't a crier. He didn't cry and he especially didn't cry because he was frustrated. He hadn't cried once in the past four weeks but here he was about to cry like a child. The empty, longing feeling choked his throat as he struggled to remain standing. While it was irrational because Hizashi was a room away, a foot away, inches away, always so close to him, Shouta couldn't shake the childish feeling welling him.
He missed Hizashi. And the feeling strangled him. It was a strange feeling, something he'd never actually felt before. He missed Hizashi, he missed his kisses, and he missed the way his hands slid softly against his thighs and along his back to coax him closer. He missed the warmth in those eyes as he stared down at Shouta, the way his lips always swelled after being pressed to his missed burying his hands into the long blonde locks.
Twisting his fingers into the silky strands and he missed holding Hizashi so close it felt like the other man would claw into his skin. He missed his soft, husky whispers as he kissed Shouta's face. It was-! There was nothing he wanted more than to run to Hizashi like any child would to someone they loved and be swept up into his arms as he begged him to do something. To make it stop. And yet he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to do it.
"Sho? You in there?"
He looked up when Hizashi's voice rang through the door curiously, the hissing tone gone but he still didn't sound happy and it wrenched something inside Shouta making a strangled, sharp noise leave his throat. Did Hizashi have his hearing aids in again? That wouldn't be the strangest thing but he'd taken them out and normally when he took them out the only way they communicated was through sign.
So why would he have them in again? And another question is if he had them out then why would he ask a question through the door that required a verbal answer? He cleared his throat, the thickness strange to his own ears as he rubbed at his wet eyes. "Do you need something, Zashi?"
"I think we should talk when you get out, Sho! I have something I need to say so finish up, okay?" He sniffed then rubbed the back of his wet hand against his nose turning to grab his own hair products, his eyes feeling strangely swollen despite no tears having actually fallen down his cheeks.
He hated the feeling. He wanted to jump out of the shower, run to Hizashi like a dog having been called by their master, but he forced his shaking legs to remain in the shower as he began scrubbing soap into his hair. He just needed to be quick but as thorough as possible. It was mind-numbing work after an orgasm to wash himself. It was almost as if he was scrubbing away the evidence.
Scrubbing away the fact he had done such an act to begin with and would leave the room with new skin, new body, new intentions. He tilted his head back to get the soap out of his hair, the heavy languid feeling slid like an ooze under his skin, the urge to sleep it off ringing in his mind and even then, there was a thrumming beneath his skin. A chant in the back of his mind growing louder. More.
More, more, more he wanted-no, he needed-no, he longed to absolutely- he deserved more. It was like a howl in his ears as his throat ached with the urge to scream it. He wanted to storm out and shriek in Hizashi's face every little thing that had been playing through his mind the past four weeks until he finally got what he wanted. He forced his hands to reach out to grab the conditioner.
Squeezing and rubbing it into the locks when he plucked his loofah off of the wall where it hung on a little hook and reached for the bottle of body wash squirting the soap onto it. Methodical. Familiar. He needed to just keep his hands busy with something, anything, other than touching himself and he needed to slip into the mundane of the actions as he began scrubbing at his skin roughly with the sponge.
It didn't work. His mind only whispered that he was going to be facing Hizashi, Hizashi, Hizashi, and that anything could happen. Soon, perhaps too soon even, he was turning the water off as the last of the suds from his body and hair swirled down the drain with a quiet gurgle. He opened the curtain stepping out onto the rug, reaching under the sink for a towel and rubbing at his skin. He rubbed his hair with the dampening towel.
The locks wildly resting around his shoulders which he tried to finger comb through to the best of his ability and wrapping the towel around his hips. Next thing he did was brush his teeth. He was stalling. Why was he stalling? He stared into the foggy mirror, swiping at the surface only to be greeted with the sight of his own eyes staring intently at the mirror as if confirming his own displeasure at himself.
Just what was he doing? He wanted nothing more than to run out to Hizashi, throw himself at the blonde and yet he was stalling. He rinsed his mouth out, rinsed his toothbrush placing it into the holder, then turned to the door taking a deep breath that made his shoulders gently and then let it out quickly before grabbing the doorknob twisting it. He pulled open the door slowly, as if he was afraid of what was on the other side.
He stepped out only for his gaze to fall on Hizashi who was sitting in the center of the bed, arms and legs folded as he stared expectantly at the door. He had a singular hearing aid in, from what Shouta could slightly see, and that honestly explained it. It would explain why Hizashi heard him but hadn't come in. And yet his heart was jumping right up into his throat where it pounded wildly. Choking him.
"Come here, Sho." Hizashi ordered making a tiny shiver roll through Shouta who approached the bed instinctively, standing at the end of it looking at his husband who was staring back at him in an uncharacteristically stoic manner.
He looked like an angry angelic being, a god that had been slighted and ready to doll out a punishment. He was absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful. Then his hands were reaching out for him, the stoic look slipping away in favor of a different look that really did steal his breath away. Longing. His face tightened with the look as his arms stretched out towards Shouta. What? What was going on? What was he doing?
He moved without thinking, the thought-the idea- the reality of being wrapped in Hizashi's arms was always tempting but at the moment it was too much. Overwhelming. He moved on the bed, crawling to his husband until he was nestled into his arms like he was something truly precious to the blonde. "Zashi-"
"You're going to apologize to Eri, you hear me?"
He nearly whimpered at the commanding tone as he buried his face in Hizashi's throat, inhaling the scent that clung to his husband as he held onto him. "I will, I will. I didn't mean-"
"Didn't mean too? I know, Sho. I know you don't mean to be a dick but it's not okay when it comes to our kids." Hizashi replied softly as he kissed Shouta's head, a contradiction to his firm and commanding tone as his hands gently rubbed at his bare back making him shiver at the way it sparked such longing that gripped his bones.
Don't get distracted, don't get distracted. I need to listen to Hizashi this time. But God, his hands-!
"But I realized something today, Sho. You wanna know what I realized?" Huh? What was-? Mmmm, goddammit his hands were making him arch against him. It was so good. How did something so simple feel so good?
"What?" He forced himself to whisper the word back as he clung to Hizashi, his hands gripping fistfuls of his shirt in his hands that were beginning to shake.
"That there really is something bothering you, something that I should have noticed sooner, baby, and I'm sorry for that. Something is bothering you, isn't there?" Hizashi's voice was softening into a warm, perhaps adoring tone as if he were going to begin placating Shouta and yet the hands, those sinful hands threatened to blank his mind.
They slid upwards between the sensitive area between his shoulder blades making him jolt in his husband's arms, heat beginning to slither through his veins again, but he wondered if he could even get hard again in such a short amount of time. God if he wasn't beginning to burn though. He whined when nails raked down his back, slowly as if taking his time and Shouta's hips bucked forward when those nails dragged roughly across his lower back.
"I-I don't know-! I-I promise it won't-!"
"You need to tell me, baby, what it is and I'll fix it. I'll fix it, so you never have to go through it again, and I'll make you happy again. I love you, baby boy, so much. I want you to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted but I want that for you even more now as your husband. So, talk to me, okay? Tell me why you're being a dick, tell me if something made you mad or irritated at work or in general. Just talk to me, baby."
Talk to him? What was with this wildly different tone and situation? He thought Hizashi would yell at him for being a dick and yet here he was teasing him! His lips trembled as he squirmed in his husband's grasp when fingers slid along the edge of the towel that was slipping slightly from his movements and his breath hitched hopefully when Hizashi's fingers began playfully tugging at the towel.
Where was-how did he start- he just needed to find his words and- He jumped when Hizashi's hand slid beneath the towel, gripping his ass so forcefully and so fiercely that it made Shouta's mind blank out for just a moment. What were they talking about? What did he want to say? Why did he want to say anything when Hizashi was finally, finally, finally touching him? He pulled his head from Hizashi's throat.
Pulling back just enough to stare into his husband's face. A sound strangling itself in the back of his throat as his lips trembled once again wordlessly. The blonde smiled then as he lifted his hand up brushing his palm over Shouta's cheek, marveling at the scratchy hair before sliding over to press his thumb lightly against his trembling lower lip and stroking it lightly. He was going to kill him.
He swore to God he would kill him long before Hizashi even had the chance to fuck hi-
"Shouta, use your big boy words. Tell me what you want to say, what you've been wanting to say for weeks now." Hizashi crooned the words at him as he stroked that bottom lip gently, feeling the quickening breathes rushing over his skin as he stared at his husband.
Shouta's face was such a lovely shade of pink, a pink that was quickly darkening into a rich and stunning red the longer Hizashi looked at the wordless man. He could see the frustration in the other's eyes, the way his brows came tight together but he could also see such a painful longing in his face that it ripped and tugged at Hizashi's heart the longer he looked at it. He lifted his other hand up to wind back around Shouta's shoulder.
To cup the back of his neck making a quiet sound, mangled and unintelligible to leave Shouta's throat as he was tugged closer. And God, he couldn't breathe because Hizashi was right there, so close, so close. His hand was on his neck and he was so warm. He was touching him like he wanted for weeks and he couldn't- It was so hard to breath so he could say something to the blonde. Tell him. Yet his lips trembled wordlessly.
"Tell me, baby, and I'll do whatever I can to help you. You have to tell me first and I swear-"
A timid knock rang out making both men jump, turning to look to their doors. Curiosity in Hizashi's face and a deep annoyance in Shouta's. "Papa? Daddy? Can I come in?"
Eri? Why was she down here? Didn't Hizashi put her to bed? Shouta groaned low in his throat at the disappointment that tore through him, pulling away from the blonde who then flicked his attention back to Shouta for just a moment as the man climbed off the bed looking...gutted. God, just absolutely gutted. Pained. Shouta watched Hizashi's face form a look of such pity, such remorse that he had to look away.
Swallowing down that disappointment -that urge to sob hysterically because he was so, so close- he rushed to get a pair of pajama pants on when Hizashi cleared his throat. "Come in, Eri!"
The door cautiously slipped open revealing Eri's form, her hesitant face, as she stepped into the room with a pillow tucked under her arm and the cat plushie he'd fixed earlier tucked to her chest as his gaze flicked to Shouta. Then man was fiddling with the brim of his pants as they sat on his hips but his face, oh god his face was distraught. It was hopeless but so disappointed at the same time, but he saw Shouta masking it quickly when Eri peeked at him nervously.
"What is it, honey? I thought you said I did everything you needed to be done so you could sleep?"
"I can't sleep, Daddy. It-I'm scared. I don't wanna sleep by myself and Toshi won't let me sleep in his room."
She then looked down wiggling her feet together before looking up hopefully at Hizashi then to Shouta who was walking across the room to the white-haired girl. She held her arms up to him and he scooped the girl up into his arms, her pillow dropping from her hand in favor of gripping his shoulder. His brows came together as he looked at the girl, a look of worry beginning to glimmer in his eyes as she clung to him. "What's got you scared, Eri?"
Eri didn't ask to sleep with them very often and the fact she was asking at all was worrying. He could swallow his disappointment, his crushed feelings in favor of focusing on his daughter. He could do that. He would do that. She clung to him, little nails digging into his shoulder when she spoke again. "Can I just sleep with you, Papa? And Daddy? I promise after tonight I'll sleep by myself like a big girl but I just-"
"It's alright, Eri. Calm down, okay?" Shouta murmured to the girl who stared at him now with hope shining in her eyes brilliantly. "You can sleep with us tonight, if that's what you want, but you don't have to force yourself to grow up. You're a child, enjoy being like that for a while longer. If you want to sleep with us then you can, but it's not going to be an every night or every time occurrence, Eri. You understand? Sometimes Daddy and I want alone time too."
Eri threw her other arm, along with the plush, around Shouta's other shoulder squeezing his neck tightly as she pressed her cheek to his shoulder as it lifted into a smile. "Thank you, Papa! Thank you, thank you!"
"Get over here, kid! You and Papa can have the bed while I brush my teeth and get my own jammies on!" Hizashi tried, and succeeded, with the cheerful tone he was going for as Shouta bent to pick the pillow up and he climbed off the bed peering at his husband looking for traces of the desperate, flushed man of mere moments ago.
However, the blush had receded out of his cheeks and he seemed no more expressive as he would any other moment of the day. He sighed with a twinge of his own disappointment as he walked into the bathroom while Eri jumped onto the bed and Shouta walked around to his side of the bed. Hizashi knew he was an idiot. The fact that it didn't click just what was wrong with his husband, the exact cause of what could be wrong didn't slam into him.
Confused.
It strangely hit him when he was poking his head into Hitoshi's room and laughing when he caught sight of Denki on the teen's laptop screen, the way his son had turned red. Telling him he needed to head to bed. He had known Shouta wanted to talk to him, had seen something was bothering him, but now that he knew what it was? Oh, now that he knew he was going to do something about it because he hadn't honestly, genuinely, noticed it had been that long.
It was ridiculous! He felt horrible that he let this go on for so long! He let himself get wrapped up in teaching, going on his patrols, and his show down at the radio station had all kept him busy but then throwing Hitoshi and Eri into the loop had made him really lose his attention on things. He'd been so busy, so distracted just like Shouta but clearly it was hitting the other man harder. Hell, it just hit him tonight what was even wrong!
But the thought of Shouta suffering through this feeling for God knows how long made him feel awful. It had obviously gone on long enough for him to appear so desperate, react so strongly to a few soft rubs of his hands up and down his back. He quickly shed his clothes, pulling on the pair of pajama's he'd stored in there earlier and huffed out an annoyed breath as he turned to face the sink.
He glared at his reflection, the warmth from Shouta's shower lingering just a touch in the air as he grabbed his toothbrush, the paste and got to work on brushing viciously at his teeth as if he could punish himself that way. He rinsed his mouth and brush off after he felt satisfied that he'd been quite thorough, then turned flicking the light off and walking into the bedroom. Eri was snuggled down against Shouta's chest, the man lying on his side with his arm tucked under his head.
He walked over to his side of the bed turning the lamp off plunging them into darkness as he took the hearing aid out after turning it off and slid underneath the blankets. He looked to his husband, their gazes meeting instinctively. Though he couldn't hear it he could tell from the way his lips parted that his breath had to be coming a bit unevenly. Saw longing flash in his eyes before he looked away.
Tomorrow. Hizashi would do something about it tomorrow.