Crickhollow was quite a different place when the lads were not there, but Estella did prefer it to Brandy Hall, even with only Diamond for company. She had grown used to the quiet companionship Diamond provided, and though it was far too quiet for her liking with only the two of them there, Estella was not having an unpleasant time.
Merry and Pippin had taken a trip to Bree, planning to meet Legolas and Gimli there for a few days, leaving their ladies at home.
While Estella had not grown as close to Diamond as she was to Rose, she did think they were becoming friends, slowly, but surely. She was less often uncomfortable with Diamond's long stretches of silence and had come to greatly appreciate the music that filled the house every evening. She even missed it when she stayed in Brandy Hall.
"I do hope they're enjoying themselves," Estella said over supper one night, in attempt to goad Diamond into some conversation. "I should think they are. They seemed quite excited to see their friends."
"Bree seems so far. I've been further, but I don't like it when Pippin is away."
Estella sipped her wine, quite pleased at her success in getting Diamond to speak. She answered, "He took you all the way to Gondor, didn't he?"
"Yes, just after we were married," Diamond said. "And we stopped in Rohan along the way with Merry. I know he would like to take me back sometime. He speaks of it often. I get overwhelmed thinking of going so far and for so long again though." Diamond fell silent then.
Estella hoped Merry would not ask her to go to Rohan with him. She had never considered it before but hearing Diamond mention Pippin's wishes she was almost certain it was something Merry would request at some point. He and Pippin were so often of the same mind, and while both of them loved the Shire, loved the lives they were building for themselves, she knew well that some of her husband's heart had been left in those faraway places during his travels and adventures. Why, even Sam Gamgee talked fondly of one day traveling the long road to the White City and seeing Strider again. Rose and the little ones kept his feet firmly planted in Hobbiton though.
Even more reason I hope for a baby soon, Estella thought to herself.
"I do wish I could see Legolas again. He is... have you met an elf before?"
"I have not," admitted Estella. "I'm sure Legolas is quite something. I know almost nothing about elves, except that they're beautiful and old. I've seen a dwarf once or twice, but never wanted to talk to one."
Diamond seemed quite content to leave the conversation at that and did not speak for the rest of supper, or while she assisted Estella in washing the dishes, despite a few more attempts at leading questions.
She did ask for Estella's choice of instrument when the two sat in the parlor for the evening and smiled when Estella requested the fiddle.
Estella sat, enjoying Diamond's cheery music while she kept her own hands busy with a pile of mending. She had taken the responsibility for all four of them upon her shoulders. Diamond was obviously a gifted musician, and she was a serviceable cook, but the lass could not sew worth a lick.
"Diamond?" Estella asked once she'd set aside the last shirt that Pippin had managed to put yet another hole in. "I know this is not my place, but I thought… well. I'd like to ask you something because I think it may help me."
Diamond said nothing but her bow stopped moving across the strings to show she was giving Estella her full attention. Estella took a deep breath before proceeding with what she knew was a very personal question.
"How have you and Pippin managed to avoid having children for so long?"
Diamond's eyes clearly showed she had no desire to talk about this. Estella wondered if she wanted children at all. If she did, was waiting this long painful for her? Suddenly, the thought that they might not be able to have children crossed her mind and she wished dearly she could take back the words. It was far too late for that now though.
"You truly don't have to answer if you don't want to. Like I said, I know it's not at all my place, or my business. It's only that… Merry and I were married the first day of spring. We are well into summer. I was very much hoping to be with child by now, and I am not. I thought that… perhaps if you had been able to avoid it this long, you may be able to help me do the opposite."
Diamond still said nothing, but Estella could see she was considering what had been shared with her. She fought back the urge to tell Diamond to just hurry and give an answer. She knew it would not make the lass come to a decision any more quickly, and might make her refuse to answer at all, so she waited anxiously, until Diamond set down her fiddle and disappeared into her and Pippin's rooms. When she returned, she had a small book. She opened it, flipping through the pages until she was satisfied with what was shown. Placing it in Estella's hands, she said very, very softly,
"I keep track of my cycles here. I write down when it begins, when it ends, how many days between. I learned from one of the books my Mama had in Long Cleeve. Before Pippin and I were married I… I wanted to learn. Because we knew we shouldn't have children right away." Her voice had grown even softer, to just barely above a whisper.
Estella looked over the meticulous notes; the things Diamond had written about herself and her body were things Estella had not even thought to consider before. The notes went back months and months. Estella supposed Diamond had been doing this since she had first been married.
"These days here, that you've underlined?"
"For me," Diamond said, sitting next to Estella. "Those are the days I'm most likely to become pregnant. So, we don't, um… We avoid those days."
"Would those days be the same for me?"
"Similar, probably."
Estella surveyed the pages in silence for a few moments, trying to take in as much as she could so she would know what to look for in herself. When at last she looked over the dates again, she noticed there had been no new additions for two months. Her eyes widened and she looked at Diamond in wonder. "Diamond, are you…"
Diamond then quite suddenly burst into tears and nodded.
Estella did not know what to do. She felt that she ought to apologize for intruding, but Diamond had given her the book, and had opened it to this particular page. Perhaps she had wanted to tell her? Estella had also rarely seen a lass so distraught about being with child. Hobbits largely considered children one of the chief blessings of life. She remembered well what Merry had told her of the family situation of the Tooks though, and felt she could understand, if only a little, how frightening it must be.
Sobs wracked Diamond's body as she continued to cry. Being the only other hobbit at home, Estella realized that it fell to her to be a comfort.
Touch, she thought. She does well with touch.
And so, she gently placed her arm around Diamond's shaking shoulders. She instantly found herself wrapped in a tight embrace, rubbing her hand as soothingly as possible up and down Diamond's back.
"Does Pippin know?" She asked.
She could discern Diamond shaking her head.
"It will be alright," she consoled. "It's going to be alright."
"I can't do this without my Mama!" cried Diamond. "And she won't do anything more than write me letters. I am so afraid!"
Estella found it hard to breathe as Diamond squeezed her tighter. She did her best to return it. The pressure seemed to ease Diamond's frantic breaths. She wished she had words of comfort, but what was there to say? She too would be afraid if she faced childbirth and motherhood alone, as Diamond did.
"Well, if she will write to you at least, you can let her know. Perhaps then she'll come to visit, and she can help you! Merry's told me things have been difficult with your family of late, but I can't imagine your Mama wouldn't want to be here to help you through with your first babe."
At last, Diamond released Estella from the vice like hug and wiped her eyes hard with her hands. "I can write her, but I need to tell Pippin first. He will be so upset with me!"
"If he gets upset with you then he really is a fool of a Took," Estella said harshly. "It takes two, you know. And it seems that you've been as cautious as he could have asked you to be!"
"He wanted things better with his family before we had our own."
"Well, the baby isn't arriving tomorrow. There is still time. Will you tell him when he returns home?"
Diamond could only shrug, her tears returning in full force.
"He will notice before long, whether you tell him or not." She got only a small nod in response, and without having to think on it this time, she wrapped Diamond into another tight embrace. "Oh, Di, I'm so sorry."
The lads returned five days later, and Estella had gone out of her way to prepare them a fine meal. Diamond would have ordinarily helped her, but she had confessed that the heat of the kitchen and the smell of cooking meat now made her nauseous, so Estella took on the task herself. Mushroom pie, a leg of lamb, bread with herb butter, freshly chopped greens, and she had baked scones to eat with fresh cream and strawberry preserves. It seemed quite a suitable welcome home supper.
The combined heat of the summer and the fires in the kitchen had left her slick with sweat by the time she heard Diamond's elated cry, letting her know that Merry and Pippin must have returned.
When she had come to the front hall, Diamond was already running across the yard. Merry still sat in the saddle, but Pippin was leading his pony, Star, on foot, clearly having anticipated Diamond's greeting. He opened his arms and spun her around before kissing her soundly. Estella gave a slight shake of her head. She wasn't sure she would ever get accustomed to Pippin and Diamond's very public affection.
She waved to Merry and he flashed a brilliant smile at her as he took Star's reins, leading him on to the stable. "Come on, Pip!" he called. "There will be time for that later. Help me with the ponies so we can have whatever lovely supper I can smell!"
By the time Pippin came indoors, Estella had finished supper and was just getting everything placed on the dining room table with Diamond's help.
"Where's Merry?" she asked.
"Finishing up with Stybba," Pippin answered. "He'll be along soon."
Estella removed her apron, then decided to greet her husband properly before supper, walking to the front door of the little house. She met him just as he closed and latched the door, and he wasted no time in wrapping her up in his arms.
"I missed you, Merry," she told him.
"Did you?" he asked, quite pleased, she could tell.
"Yes, I did. It was far too quiet without you here." She took a deep breath and then wished she hadn't. "I think we all ought to have baths tonight," she laughed, looking up at him and wrinkling her nose. "You stink, and I know I don't smell much better!"
Merry laughed in agreement but did not yet let her go. "Supper first, baths later. Travel makes for a hungry hobbit, you know." He kissed her eagerly. "I missed you very much."
"Come in and eat."
Estella could see Diamond was tense during supper. She spoke even less than was usual for her, and she would barely let go of Pippin's hand unless it was absolutely necessary for him to use both. Even when he did have his fingers laced through hers, she was fidgety. She also barely ate anything at all. Merry had clearly noticed too, and she was sure Pippin was not unaware either.
Merry looked at her sideways once, clearly asking if anything was wrong, but Estella only shook her head, knowing this was not news for her to share. She was not even sure if Diamond would tell Pippin at all tonight. She had not come to a conclusion about it when Estella had asked her what she planned to do the previous day.
When supper was drawing to its close and Pippin was sharing a story Gimli had told, Diamond suddenly interrupted him, with an unusually loud,
"Pippin!"
He started and turned to her. "Diamond?"
Estella found she had clenched her fists in anticipation while Diamond paused, looking down at her lap. She found herself nervous for Diamond. What if Pippin was not pleased? What if Diamond was right and he would be upset with her?
"We're having a baby," Diamond whispered.
Pippin was stunned, silent. He shook his head. "What?"
"We're having a baby," she repeated. "A little after the new year, I think."
Estella looked to Merry and saw he was certainly surprised but seemed to be waiting for Pippin's reaction before he let himself feel anything further. The silence could not have been long, but it felt as though it dragged on for many minutes. Estella held her breath in anticipation.
At long last, Pippin's smile showed itself and he laughed.
"A baby!" He cried. "Why, Diamond! This is the best news a hobbit could ever hope to come home to!"
Letting go of the breath she had been holding, Estella watched fondly as Diamond began to smile. "You're not angry?" she asked him.
Pippin kissed both her hands. "Angry, my sweeting? No! This is wonderful news, delightful news!"
"Yes, it is!" Merry cried. He raised his glass. "A toast to the new young Took! May he take after his mother more than his father!"
"Here, here!" cried Pippin.
Estella laughed merrily and lifted her glass. How she hoped soon they would be raising a toast to her and Merry's unborn baby. For now, she would content herself with celebrating with Diamond and Pippin, since Diamond at last seemed in the mood to celebrate.