While Alex led Ops through the planning of Danforth's assassination, Sonya went to find Seymour. She had no interest in what Alex was attempting to do. She only wanted to know why her boyfriend had lied to her so often and for so long. As expected, she found him in his office after he had left Ryan's. He appeared lost in thought, almost as though he was trying to find a solution to the mess Division was in. or maybe he was simply moping. Sonya didn't care which. She stormed into his space and shouted regardless, "How could you have kept this from me? How could you have lied, pretended, said I was imagining things?"
Birkhoff was startled by Sonya's voice; though, he wasn't surprised by her presence. After Alex had told Ops the truth, he should've immediately pulled his girlfriend aside and talked to her. Actually, he should've done that before the truth was revealed. He should've been telling Sonya everything as soon as he had heard it. Keeping her out of the loop was stupid, and cowardly, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you, but…"
"But you didn't. What else have you been hiding from me?" Sonya snapped. She didn't care about any excuse he could possibly give. Nothing could make up for the fact that he had lied to her and had purposefully pushed her away. She had thought that after she had done that to him when she had been forced to be Amanda's mole they had grown closer together. She had thought that they were going to be on the same page for everything- that they were together through good and bad, thick and thin. Yet Seymour had had other ideas; his worst ones yet.
"Depends. How much time do you got?" Birkhoff tried for humor. He wasn't certain how well it landed. After all, lying to his girlfriend and continuously trying to convince her that everything was okay when it clearly wasn't, wasn't something he could easily atone for. He had to do some serious apologizing and groveling. He also had to confess to the other secrets he was keeping. There weren't a lot; he was mostly an open book. However, Sonya deserved to know every single little thing about him.
"That's a great question. Somebody just told me that I might die soon. So, if I were you, I'd start talking," Sonya also tried for humor. She wasn't certain how well it landed considering the gravity of the situation; she couldn't actually make a joke about her death. However, if there was ever a time to try for smiles it was when dread was right around the corner. They shouldn't drown in that fear just yet. They should keep fighting- however that looked for them.
For Nikita, most of her fighting was internal. She fought to control her anger and emotions before she finally walked into Ops. Regardless of the way he had said it, Michael had been right. She couldn't storm up to Alex and forcibly make her stop. Nikita had to remain rational. It was the only way to stop the madness, and possibly save everybody's life, "Listen, everyone, I know what you've heard. And Alex isn't lying. I didn't tell you about Danforth and his contingency plan because I thought I could make him happy and keep you safe. But I was wrong. Really, really wrong."
Hearing Nikita actually admit to making a mistake, Alex halted her planning for a moment. She was curious to see where else the former rogue was going to go with her conversation. She had the entire attention of Ops; she could command whatever she wanted. Yet Nikita didn't make any commands just yet. Instead, she pleaded for everyone to think, "But what no one has told you is that there is still a way to fix this. Maybe killing Danforth is the smart play. But it is going to start a war that we cannot win."
"We don't need to win. We just need to survive," Rolling her eyes, Alex instantly argued. What was with everyone's obsession with winning and losing. Both the team and Amanda were obsessed with beating each other and coming out the winner. They didn't care if others were hurt in the process. They could simply argue that the ends justified the means. Winning was the only thing they could see getting them what they wanted. There was no other option for them. Surviving wasn't enough. Saving others wasn't enough. They only had to win.
"So that we can run and hide for the rest of our lives? We had that choice, remember? We stayed because we wanted more than that. We wanted to stop just surviving and start living," Nikita shook her head. She had spent far too many years fighting to survive. Each new day- each new mission- was another day she fought and schemed and ran. Alex knew exactly what that was like. She had been robbed of her life and forced to consistently fight to survive too. Didn't she want that to stop. Didn't she want others to have their lives again also. They deserve that more than just basic survival.
"What's our other option then? Do we even have one?" Alex fired back. Danforth and The President had made it abundantly clear that they did not want Division to live. No matter what they did, they could never have the freedom that the team prayed for. Appeasements were getting them nowhere. They were going to have to steal their freedom- force it to happen. Assassinating the one man who stood in their way was the only option they truly had.
Even when backed into a corner, there was always more than one option. Nikita had been arguing that for years. She wasn't going to stop then. The situation might've seemed bleak and suffocating, but lashing out wasn't their saving grace. Division had to remain as smart as they had always been. And the team of former rogues had to create another option just like they always had, "We stay on mission; we find Zoe. She's the assassin that they're looking for. The President doesn't know what actually happened in Paris- just what Danforth told her. If we prove to her that we're not the threat, she'll call off the raid."
"You can't be sure of that. Danforth could lie again," Despite all the eyes on them, it was only Alex arguing against Nikita. She felt as though she was the only one actually fighting for the agents in Division. Everyone else was too concerned with how the government conceived them. She, on the other hand, didn't care. That shouldn't matter anymore. Oversight was dead. So government interference should be as well.
"He could. Or he could not. The only thing that is certain is that Zoe will sell that file tonight. Once that happens, we cannot control the fallout. Zoe will disappear. The President will give the order. And here will be no turning back. Danforth won't even matter anymore," Although Alex made a very valid point, Nikita had to warn that Danforth wouldn't even be a threat once Zoe- a Dirty Thirty- sold the CIA undercover list. The President would see the entirety of Division as rogue assassins and cancel them without thought. There would be no way to save themselves then. No one could just survive.
"There's already no turning back," The situation was just like Clean Sweep. Why was Alex the only one seeing that. There was no recovering from the fact that the entire government wanted them dead. Danforth and the President would rather kill three hundred people than admit to the mistakes they had made. Division couldn't ignore that. They couldn't go back to working for that government. Instead, they had to take back control of their lives and do what they needed to do, not what others needed them to do.
"Which is why, once we get Zoe, we will deal with Commander Danforth. I can promise you that," Nikita gently stopped Alex from continuing with her assassination attempt. They weren't going to just leave Danforth and his contingency plan alone. That was a problem Division absolutely had to address. But it didn't have to be through violence. There was another way to get what they wanted. Nikita was able to think of one after some time.
Ops and the team sided with Nikita after the argument, so Alex was forced to follow her plan. Together, the two women infiltrated the nightclub Zoe was selling the undercover list at, and they took both her and the buyer down. The CIA list was finally recovered, and Division was able to craft a story of its theft and Batouala's death. All the blame was placed on Zoe and the buyer, spinning them as foreign agents. There were no ties back to the black ops organization. The President could be appeased.
The only problem left was Danforth. Yet Nikita was able to come up with a permanent solution for that- one that didn't involve an assassination. Birkhoff had been able to decrypt the black box, and Ryan had recorded his conversation with Danforth when he had given Division the kill order. The team could place that recording on the black box and use it to blackmail the commander. He wouldn't be able to wipe them out without exposing his crimes.
Since it had been her plan, Nikita had been the one to threaten Danforth. He quickly agreed to call off the Seal strike and to keep them in a favorable light for the President. Division was safe- finally. With Amanda still in the wind, it wouldn't last long. Yet Ryan was still happy with the results. That was one crisis they didn't have to worry about anymore. Gathering Nikita and Alex into his office, he expressed that thought in relief, "We'll monitor the Seal training facility, but it looks like that is one crisis averted, thanks to your idea, Nikita."
"Wish I could take credit for it," Nikita hardly muttered. Although her plan had worked, she was not proud of it. She still couldn't shake Michael's comment about how her reaction to Alex's dissent was similar to how Amanda and Madeline would've thought. And then she continued to think how the people she hated would by threatening Danforth with the black box. By rebelling, she was never supposed to have ended up like them. Apparently, their claws sunk deeper into her than she had thought.
"Right. Percy. You know, he told me why he created the black boxes. It's certainly a story. He was the hero, of course. His actions were the inevitable result of other people's shortsightedness. And I mocked him. Because he was so concerned about defending Division from outside forces that he completely missed the real threat. The one from within," Remembering being trapped in a glass cell with Percy, Ryan shared one of the conversations they had had. He had always judged Percy for missing Nikita's rebellion as it grew exponentially. The bastard had been so high and mighty, that he had missed the dissent right in front of his face.
After recent events, however, Ryan learned that he couldn't judge Percy too harshly for missing Nikita's rogue actions. With all the threats Division faced- from Amanda and the Dirty Thirties to Danforth and the President- it was easy to ignore all the internal problems. Yet those problems were the ones that could completely implode the black ops group. There was no chance of survival if they destroyed each other, "Hearing you guys argue last night, reminded me of that conversation. Division can survive a lot. But not a war between you two."
Ryan then left his own office to force Nikita and Alex to talk to each other. Both of them could've continued to ignore each other and leave. However, at least a part of them wanted to mend the rift growing between them. They simply didn't know how to start talking to one another again. The first thing that came to their minds were arguments. It was so much easier to keep fighting than to come to a compromise. Both felt as though they weren't truly heard. So how could they find any sort of understanding. Alex said it best as she finally expressed that none of them were on the same page, "Ryan's wrong. This isn't about us."
"Really? Then what was it about? Cause you've been fighting me so hard lately. Tell me, did you get what you wanted?" Nikita finally snapped at Alex. She hadn't been able to speak to her best friend in weeks because she kept pushing her away and shutting her out. If that wasn't about the two of them, then what was it about. Why was Alex being so distant and angry and argumentative if she wasn't trying to hurt Nikita.
"I wanted you to listen. To open your eyes at the mistakes you've been making," Alex responded with the same bitter annoyance in her voice. Nikita hadn't listened to her when they were speaking, so she figured she'd finally get the hint once they stopped communicating. But that obviously hadn't been enough for Nikita. She was so blind to all the wrongs she was committing, that she couldn't understand when someone tried to point them out. Alex wanted to say that was a new thing, but the rogue had always been like that. She constantly thought her way was the best, nothing and no one else mattered.
"The mistakes I've been making? What about you? Who opened your eyes? Was it Amanda?" Incredulously, Nikita asked. Yes, she had made mistakes- plenty of mistakes. But so had Alex and the rest of the team. Not everything rested on Nikita. She didn't make all the decisions for everybody. She didn't form everybody's thoughts and opinions. She didn't force everyone into doing certain actions. She wasn't the only one in the wrong. Unless, of course, you asked Amanda who was entirely at fault.
"Why? Because I can't disagree with you? I can't have my own valid point of view? Amanda must have done something," Alex was so tired of the team thinking something was wrong with her just because she had returned from South Ossetia with a new mission. She was the same woman she had always been. She was simply fighting for something that she wanted, not what Nikita wanted.
"Someone did something. Because you sound nothing like Alex," Eyeing Alex carefully, Nikita stated. She wasn't saying that Alex having a different opinion than her was wrong. They had fought and had opposing views before. And Alex had always been forceful with what she thought and felt; she wouldn't do anything quietly. What was wrong was how she had villainized Danforth. She was going to assassinate someone. The girl in the bunny mask who couldn't pull the trigger- who couldn't end a life- was going to assassinate someone. She wasn't able to think of another solution. Her one and only thought was murder. That wasn't Alex.
"Yeah. That's cause I sound like you. Well, like how you sounded before running this place changed you," Alex rolled her eyes. Nikita had wanted Alex to think like her when she had been acting as her mole inside Division and when she had gone after Semak. But now that they were running Division, she wanted her to change like she had. But Alex would never sacrifice who she was for the black ops group. She hadn't lost herself to that hellhole when she had been a recruit, and she wouldn't lose herself then.
Nikita knew she had changed. She knew she had become an entirely different person than she had been when she had started her crusade. Yet it wasn't gradual like Alex had suggested. Nikita had changed in a single instant- in one swing of a knife, "Alex, it's just… one mistake leads to another, like dominos. Michael lost his hand. I had to go to Kosovo to fix it. And then we ended up working with Danforth to fix that. And… it just keeps getting worse."
The first thought that came to Alex's mind wasn't one she could've shared. For some reason, her gut instinct was to respond that Nikita was entirely at fault for the messes the team found themselves in. But after another second of thought, Alex could never bring herself to share that response. It wasn't fair. Especially since she knew that everything Nikita had done had been to save her loved ones. Michael's hand was the starring example of that. Nikita had had to cut it off to save him. And then she believed she had to fix that horrible moment.
Alex could still remember walking into the military hospital and seeing Nikita covered in her fiancé's blood and sobbing because she couldn't get his screams out of her head. After that terrifying moment, Alex never heard Nikita talk about the accident. She bottled her problems up and focused on helping her team deal with theirs. No wonder she kept doing drastic things. She couldn't stand to see them hurt anymore. She felt that she alone had to save them from more pain, mostly because she blamed herself for all the hell they had been through. Alex couldn't be angry with her about that, "You tried to shoulder the burden so the rest of us wouldn't have to."
"I tried," Nikita sighed and slumped against the wall. She always tried. But no matter what she did, no matter how good her intentions, it always blew up in her face. It almost made trying not worth it anymore. If she just gave up, there wouldn't be a difference. Maybe she should then. She should just stop, "Funny thing is, I've always wanted everyone at Division to know the truth about this place. Then we take over and start lying to them again."
"We don't have to lie anymore. The government can't back us into that corner again. We're free. We can go home," Alex placed her hands on Nikita's shoulders, comforting her for a change. Since all of Division knew of the contingency, and since they had locked Danforth into the box, things could begin to change for the better. They could actually take control of their lives and how they were going to permanently shut down the black ops unit of the government. It was going to work out in their favor. They were going to finally go home. Alex was certain of it.
Before Nikita could respond, Alex left Ryan's office. There was a determined stride to her steps that clued Nikita in that she wasn't heading home that night. She was off to do something to prove her statement correct. Nikita wasn't in the mood to follow and figure out what that was exactly. After all, she was fairly certain that there was nothing they could do to return home. That was what she had always wanted for so long. But even if Division miraculously got their pardons and their lives, she couldn't go back to how things were. It would never be the same. She had made too many mistakes, "No we can't."