I wanted to kiss Draco.

I've never felt the need to kiss anyone before. Never really.

Maybe it was because I was never really close to people, except my family.

Or because I never really trusted anyone, or just because I knew I wasn't the type that boys found attractive.

That had never bothered me, I had never really found anyone attractive either.

Until Draco.

I shouldn't kiss him, I knew that.

It would be selfish of me because I knew he wouldn't want me to.

I wasn't a pureblood and as much as he had changed in the last few weeks and months, I was sure that hadn't changed.

And that was fine.

He had grown up that way and getting rid of such deep-seated beliefs was almost impossible.

I just had to come to terms with it.

And that was part of growing up, wasn't it?

An unrequited love.

A broken heart.

I'd deal with it.

At least we were friends, that was worth a lot even if I was sure that this circumstance would not make it easier for me to get over it.

"Do I have something on my face or why are you staring like that?", Draco finally pulled me out of my thoughts.

I just shook my head.

"Do you want to talk about why you were crying?"

He didn't make it easy for me either.

Why was he being thoughtful and compassionate now, please?

He should just go back to being the ass he usually was, then maybe I wouldn't want to kiss him anymore.

I really had to stop thinking about it, it was cruel.

Did I want to talk about it?

It was really quite private but if I was honest, it wasn't as private as some of the things I already knew about him.

As far-fetched as it sounded, Draco was someone I didn't worry about speaking my thoughts to because I knew they were safe with him.

I had seen him at his lowest point and that bonded.

We had saved each other's lives many times and I trusted him.

He was always honest and there was nothing I needed more than an honest answer.

"Do you think it's possible that one moment, one small detail, maybe even one trifle can change your whole entire outlook on life?"

To him it had to sound very vague but that was exactly how I felt.

This letter had turned everything upside down and I had to figure out what to do next.

He looked at me confused for a moment, but his gaze quickly softened. Then he nodded.

"Absolutely. I think it can be a split second that changes everything.

Sometimes maybe just a look, a feeling or a smell.

I think the illusion of the life we imagine is so fragile that the slightest deviation from the plan is enough to shake it."

I chuckled.

"You talk like a wise old man. Not even my grandpa talks like that."

He grinned too.

"Maybe I'm just a very wise old man. You've never tested me for Polyjuice Potion."

"Maybe I should do that sometime."

I leaned against his shoulder again.

"Don't you think I'd be betraying myself if I changed my beliefs overnight?"

"How drastic would the change be?"

"Pretty drastic for me."

"Would it make you feel better?"

"I don't know."

We were both silent for a moment.

His closeness calmed me.

I wasn't so scared when I was with him.

It would be really hard to get over him without losing him as a friend.

"I don't think you betray yourself when you change your beliefs, even if they are drastic.

It just shows that you admit to yourself that those beliefs were wrong.

You would be betraying yourself if you didn't change them even though you knew they were wrong", Draco's deep voice broke the silence.

"Have you ever made such a drastic decision before?"

"More than one."

I knew he was talking about his mark and distancing himself from everything it stood for.

And I was proud of his decision.

"Was it hard?"

He laughed. "Of course it was. It's still hard today but the easy way was the wrong way."

I just nodded because I didn't know how to respond.

Again it was he who broke the silence.

"I have another present for you."

I straightened up and looked at him questioningly.

"Your grandpa beat me to it and after his present, everything would seem like the biggest junk."

He pulled something out of his jacket pocket and held it out to me.

It was a plain parcel, wrapped in wrapping paper with a dark green ribbon around it.

Carefully I opened the ribbon and removed the paper.

Now I had a small black book in my hands with three intertwined green letters in front of me.

Just as before, I traced each letter with my finger.

F D S.

My initials.

"It's a notebook. It can't get full. New pages just appear."

I was still staring at the letters as he continued to speak.

"It often helped me write down thoughts. I thought maybe you'd find it useful."

Without thinking about it, I fell around his neck and pressed against him.

"Thank you", I whispered as his hair tickled my cheek.

We just held each other.

We were each other's support, we needed each other.

"I think we should both go back to bed. It's late and I heard you have to give a village tour tomorrow."

I pulled back from the embrace and nodded.

He stood up and held out his hand to me.

I put the letter and notebook in my jumper pocket and stood up without the help of his hand.

He rolled his eyes but smiled as he did so.

"Sure, she can do it on her own. Why did I bother to be nice?"

I punched him in the side.

"And now she's hitting me too."

"I had every right to", I insisted.

He grinned mischievously at me and suddenly something flashed in his eyes and I wasn't sure if I should be afraid of it.

"You want to mess with me? Fine, you can have that."

And before I knew it he had grabbed me and thrown me over his shoulder.

"Ey, put me down!", I protested loudly although I couldn't suppress my laughter.

"One, you're way too light and two, don't ever mess with a Malfoy."

"You do realise I could just transform? I have pretty sharp claws you know."

"Do if you don't think I can handle a small cat."

He laughed.

And he laughed so beautifully.

I pouted on his back.

Yes I could have transformed and yes it would be easy to free myself from his grip then but I actually enjoyed it.

Mostly I enjoyed his closeness and the well-toned view I had.

I would just let him think that he had beaten me. He deserved a victory once in a while and besides, I knew better.

He actually carried me all the way to the front door of the apa even though I had told him several times that he had won and that he could put me down.

My guilty conscience had kicked in when he carried me up the stairs.

After all, I didn't want to torture him.

But he didn't mind and insisted on taking me all the way to the door.

We wished each other a good night and then I quietly disappeared back into the apartement.

I put the book and the letter on the desk, pulled my jumper over my head and then let myself fall onto the bed.

This was probably the most unusual, emotional, revealing, life-changing and beautiful birthday ever.

I hadn't fallen asleep as happily as I did today for a very long time.

The smell of waffles woke me up.

Jacob was the better baker of the two but Queenie's waffles were simply unsurpassed.

I quickly rushed to the kitchen where I was already greeted by my aunt with a grin.

She gave me a hug.

"Good morning my angel. How did you sleep?"

"Good. Where are the others?", I asked curiously when I noticed that we were alone in the apartement.

"I banished them outside. You know Jacob, he just won't admit that my waffles are better than his.

Newt desperately needed some fresh air and Minerva was kind enough to accompany them. They should be back in a minute, though."

"Okay. Can I help you?"

"Sure thing. There's still way too much batter in this bowl."

She smiled at me and held out a mixing bowl.

I grabbed it and set about making the excess batter disappear into my belly.

Except for the finished waffles, nothing beat their raw batter.

Happy and content with the bowl in my arms, I stood in the kitchen as the apartement door opened.

There were two types of people, those who didn't like to go outside in the morning before breakfast and apparently in the rain, and then there was my grandpa.

He was beaming all over while I would describe Min and Jacob behind him as very annoyed.

They made an incredibly funny picture.

The smell of the heavenly waffles seemed to put everyone's minds at rest.

Breakfast was fantastic and I was sure I wouldn't be able to eat again until tonight at the earliest, I was so full.

As promised, we set off for Hogsemade after breakfast.

It was not a weekend when the other students were there, so we were safe from prying eyes.

I showed them around and Grandpa kept complaining that a shop he had known back then was no longer there.

The fact that more than 50 years had passed since then and that shops rarely lasted that long was not an acceptable argument for him.

He was only appeased when we sat in the Hogshead, which had already existed back then. Perhaps the butterbeer also played its part in calming him down.

It was a really nice morning and I would miss all three of them when they left later.

But before they did, Jacob bought some new spices he had never heard of and philosophised all the way back about what he could do with them.

He was the only No-Maj I had regular contact with and it was nice to talk to him about things that were irrelevant to mages.

He was the only connection I had to the non-magical world and therefore somehow the only connection to my mom's world.

I was sitting at my desk in my room staring at the blank pages of my notebook when there was a knock at the door.

The others were packing and I had intended to write until goodbye.

"Yes!", I called to invite my guest in.

The lock clicked and simply because I had heard that walk so many times before, I knew that Grandpa had entered the room.

The door clicked again and he stepped to my side.

"What are you doing?"

I flipped the book closed even though there was nothing at all in it for him to see.

"Just thinking."

"It's a nice book."

I handed it to him.

"Draco gave it to me for my birthday."

He grumbled approvingly while looking at the cover.

"You and I need to talk", he said lost in thought, putting the book back on the desk.

"Draco is not a Death Eater, he never really was. I really like him and..." He interrupted me with a wave of his hand.

"I know that but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about either."

I looked at him expectantly.

Whatever it was that he wanted to talk about, it was obviously difficult for him and there was really only one topic that we were both so depressed about.

"The anniversary is coming up next month. I know it's really hard for you but maybe you could think it through again.

It would be really nice if you were there."

I had made the decision never to go to her grave even before she died.

A grave was something final and seeing her name in stone was the worst thing I could imagine at that time.

And last night I had revised that decision.

I had been thinking about it since my monologue with the stars, but yesterday I made the final decision.

I put my hand on his and he looked up at me.

"I'll be there. I promise."

"Then please don't come alone."

I shook my head.

"No, Min will accompany me."

Now it was he who was shaking his head.

"I know that but I was thinking more of someone to support you. Draco, for instance."

"Draco?"

"That was just a suggestion. You could ask Neville or Hannah, of course. I just thought Draco would be a good support for you."

How could this man who otherwise had no sense of human interaction at all now suddenly be so spot on?

Had Queenie read my mind and told him?

But then she would have asked herself, she was just far too curious for that.

Was it so obvious that the two of us were so close?

Not likely, Neville would have asked me about it long ago.

I couldn't think of a logical explanation.

"I'll think about it."

He nodded and stood up.

For him, this conversation was as much as he usually felt he spoke in a week, so I was more than impressed with how well he'd managed it.

"The portkey leaves in half an hour", he said before walking through the door.

He probably hadn't even noticed that this was a strange statement, but over time I had learned what he was trying to say with his cryptic statements.

In this case it meant that they were leaving soon and we had to say goodbye.

And that's exactly what we did.

I accompanied the three of them together with Min to the station, from where the portkey would take them back home.

Jacob didn't say a word the whole way, which was very uncharacteristic for him.

He hated any way wizards travelled but it was the fastest way and he had to put up with it.

I hugged everyone goodbye, wished them a good journey and then they were gone.

Now Min and I stood alone on the platform.

"Did you enjoy your birthday?", she asked as we made our way back to the castle.

Instinctively I reached for the ring that had adorned my right ring finger since yesterday. I turned it back and forth a little.

"Yes, it was really nice. I was quite caught off guard at first but it was still nice."

"I'm glad. When Miss Abbot told me about her idea, I was a little afraid you'd take it badly. After all, you had wished it otherwise."

It had actually seemed to keep her quite busy.

"Now I'm glad it was this way."

She turned to me and smiled. But I could see that something was bothering her.

"I didn't know about the ring. I thought they buried it with her."

Oh, I hadn't expected that.

I held Min by the arm, forcing her to stop. Just as with Draco last night, I now held out my hand with the ring to her.

But what had caused him to be fascinated made Min's eyes well up with tears.

I kept forgetting how close she and my parents had been and how much she must miss them.

She was not a person who cried in front of others. She always kept up her façade and only in the rarest moments did this façade crack.

This was one of those moments.

"It's really beautiful", she murmured to herself. "Take good care of it okay?"

Her voice was quiet and you could hear how hard it was for her to keep her composure.

"I will. I promise."

She nodded and then we walked on in silence towards the castle.

It was really amazing how many different feelings and emotions this little ring could trigger in different people.

And somehow I had the feeling that it brought us closer together.