Somewhere in Mondstadt…

« COMIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG! » Blitzo shouted in panic as he slammed himself against the chest of a statue of the Seven.

Not too after, Moxxie let out a goat scream as he slammed himself against a tree branch. It was followed by Loona letting out a Tom and Jerry scream as she slammed herself against a wall, and Millie screaming for her life as she struck a window.

Gliding gently behind the four, Amber looked at them with a disappointed face.

« In all of my life as a Mondstadt glider, never have I've seen such inept gliders….. »

« Oh shut yer hole, ya fucking weeb faced fuck! It ain't that fucking easy! » Blitzo shot back angrily.

« Besides it's not like we fucking want that shitty glider! We're fine just walking! » Loona added.

« Nonsense! It was a gift from none other than Jean, and as an Outrider of the Knights of Favonius, it's my duty to instruct you in our secret art! That and I have also developed this odd feeling of pleasure seeing Blitzo in pain. » Amber replied.

« It's called sadism. Also the "o" is silent. Ya could at least do that considering the torture you're putting us through. » Blitzo replied angrily.

« Look, have you at least read the manual I gave you? » Amber replied annoyed.

« How the hell is a fairy tale gonna teach us how to use this HSEA violation torture machine!? » Moxxie shot back angrily.

« Fairy tale? » Amber asked confused.

« You know, the one with the birds that couldn't fly so they decided to kill themselves by jumping off a cliff and Barbara or whatever took pity on them and made them fly or some shit. » Blitzo replied.

«…Shoot, that was the storybook I used to read when I was a kid! » Amber exclaimed embarrassed.

« Did you just confuse a fucking flying manual for a fairy tale? » Loona asked annoyed.

« Ah…this is so embarrassing…. » Amber flushed red.

« I notice a certain theme with you fragrant knights…. » Blitzo raised an eyebrow.

« Starts with an I and ends with an E and its middle world is another E? » Moxxie said.

« It's because….Maybe deep inside, that fairytale is the thing that truly taught me how to glide…. » Amber explained. « "What you lacked was not wind. It's courage that's allowed you to become the first flying birds in the world." »

« Courage ain't gonna make you fly! You need air sacks! Hollow bones! Feathers! A sternum! An aerodynamic shape! Not fucking guts! » Moxxie shot back angrily.

« You're makin' things too real now, Moxxie. » Blitzo walked up to Moxxie with a spray bottle labelled "PISS", adjusts the nozzle, then sprayed it into Moxxie's face, causing him to flinch and hiss.

« You really think it's that simple? Only when you'll find courage you'll be truly be able to fly! » Amber shot back angrily.

She then sighed. « No matter. It's getting late. I'll make sure to give you the correct manual tomorrow. But in the meantime, perhaps you should take inspiration from the story. It's what helped me becoming an Outrider, and then Gliding champion of Mondstadt. »

« Whatever. We're off for a drink. If ya need us, we're at the Good Hunter. » Blitzo waved his hand casually.

« I could have learned so much shit from Lisa by now without this whole waste of time. » Loona growled angrily.

« Can't do much without a Vision thingie, I'm afraid…. » Millie noted.

« Well at least I could learn the basics! » Loona shot back.

« Fair point. »

Xxxxxxx

Evening.

At the Good Hunter.

« "What you lacked was not wind. It's courage." What a fucking dumb fucking phrase! » Blitzo mocked Amber before taking a gulp of alcohol.

« Guess Leonardo da Vinci lacked a spine every time he tried to pull one of those flying inventions of his. » Moxxie laughed casually.

« Ha! Good one, Mox! » Millie laughed.

« Ya know, I was starting to enjoy this freakin' shithole. Plenty of clients, a functioning society, no owls…. » Blitzo commented.

« Yeah, and, like, sweet freaking anime attacks! I could do so much cool shit with lightning once I find a Vision. » Loona commented.

« Maybe if we go to one of the statues it will give you a Vision? The big guys upstairs seem to give powerups away like candies without the need to be molested….» Moxxie noted.

« HA! Ya wouldn't know how that feels, right Mox? » Blitzo mocked the demon.

« Very funny. » Moxxie replied with an annoyed tone.

« Wait, have you been molested as a child? »

« Fortunately not, as much as I remember. » Moxxie replied, casually taking a drink.

There were a few seconds of silence.

« Sooo….how much of hell was stranded in this shithole? » Moxxie asked curiously.

« Don't know. Maybe that hotel place was also stranded? Those guys were funny…. » Loona guessed.

« If I don't have to deal with emergency food son, I'm golden. » Blitzo shot back casually. « Speaking of which, where's the flying dipshit? »

« In the office. Had better things to do than taking contracts with the folks around here. » Loona replied.

As the group continued to casually talk, Moxxie noticed something in the air.

It was a man, trying desperately to stay afloat whilst holding a huge artefact.

« Uh…guys? You seein' this? » Moxxie asked.

The whole group turned to see what he was talking about and noticed.

« Huh. Would you look at that! Santa's here early and has lost weight! » Blitzo commented.

« Something tells me that's not Santa…. » Moxxie replied, as he prepared his Tommie Gun, followed by the rest of the group.

Casually so, Blitzo dropped a sack of coins on the table before leaving. « Keep the change! We'll make up for it with what comes next! »

The four begun to move towards where the flying man was, before being reached by Amber and a group of Favonius knights.

« IMPs! We could use your help. » Amber spoke.

« Is the pay good? » Blitzo asked.

« Is there anything you will do without monetary compensation? » Amber gritted her teeth.

« I can suck his dick. » he said, pointing at a knight.

« NO. » he replied.

« Your loss! »

« So what's going on? » Moxxie asked.

« We've received a report from a Sister at the Cathedral claiming she saw Raptor gliding around these parts. » a knight explained.

« Who the fuck is Raptor? Sounds like old Fanfiction material. » Blitzo asked.

« A know criminal in Mondstadt. He always uses a wind glider to commit his crimes, so people start calling him Raptor. » Amber explained.

«So far we haven't managed to catch him….Our plan this time was to draw him into the Cathedral with a precious artifact, and ambush him inside….But he escaped with the artefact. » the knight explained.

« GIVE ME AN I! GIVE ME A N. GIVE ME A C. GIVE ME AN O. GIVE ME A M! GIVE ME A P! GIVE ME AN E! GIVE ME A T! GIVE ME AN E! GIVE ME A N! GIVE ME A C! GIVE ME AN E! INCOMPETENCE! » Blitzo shouted out loud, dressed as a cheerleader, with Moxxie and Millie holding a slogan saying "Incompetence", whilst Loona held a slogan saying "Fucking disgraces".

« It's not all lost! » Amber shot back angrily, firing a flaming arrow at the slogans. « One of the Sisters put some secret marking on the artefact using elemental magic! »

« But I feel there's a buuuuuut! » Blitzo mocked the girl.

« UNFORTUNATELY, he was too fast, and we couldn't keep up with the trail the marking left behind. » a knight replied angrily.

« Well, luckily for you, the Immediate Murder Professionals are here on the job! It be a Chilli Churro or an asshole, it won't matter, 'cause they'll be all dead! » Blitzo replied cheerfully. « Now c'mon, Looney! Fetch the asshole! Fetch the asshole! » he then turned to Loona with baby eyes.

« Fine. Shouldn't take too long. » Loona replied annoyed.

Xxxxxxx

Following Loona, the IMPs and Amber reached an abandoned temple.

« Are we sure we're on the right path? » Moxxie asked.

« Trust me, I can fucking tell, you dipshit. » Loona replied.

« Well, it's just…. Those don't really look like thieves…» Moxxie noted.

In front of them, in fact, was a small army of Hilichurls, all equipped with long range weapons.

« There's only one way over there. Raptor must be up ahead. » Amber noted.

« What, behind all the Mexican armed forces? » Blitzo shot back.

« The only way we can catch up is if we glide. » Amber explained.

« Oh crumbs…. » Moxxie despaired.

« We're NOT getting on those death traps! » Loona shot back firmly.

« It's the only way! All you need to do is use the air currents and keep your arms open! And most of all, remember, courage will aid you! » Amber replied.

« Oh, all right. Let's get this over with. » Blitzo shot back, before preparing his glider.

« Wait boss! » Moxxie exclaimed.

Before Blitzo could reply, Moxxie spoke. « If we're gonna do this, at least let's do this in style! » he grinned, pulling out several grenades, and a radio playing "Ride of the Valkyries"

« Holy. Shit, Moxxie. Where have you been my entire fucking life! » Blitzo exclaimed, as he grabbed several grenades.

The group jumped on an air current, managing to stay afloat.

« Yes! You're doing it! » Amber exclaimed happily.

« Holy shit we're not slamming ourselves against walls! » Blitzo exclaimed.

« It's a miracle! It's a Satan cursed Mondstadt miracle! » Moxxie exclaimed.

Then, the group glided forward, blowing up several Hilichurls as they did.

« OH FUCK YEAH, THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME! » Blitzo exclaimed.

« SEE! » Amber herself was laughing like a maniac.

« I'VE BECOME DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS! » Moxxie exclaimed as well.

Soon, the group had made it to a large room with no current, where they were forced to land. Loona was the first to attack, ripping the throat of a Hilichurl before swiping her claws at another two. She was followed by Millie chopping up another group with her axe and Moxxie mowing them down with his Tommie gun.

Blitzo dove into the action, stabbing and shooting Hilichurls before showing three shotguns in one's ass, and then triple wielding them with his arms and tail and shooting at the remaining ones.

« VICTORY SCREEEEEEECH! » Blitzo exclaimed, before letting out a loud call with his tongue, the rest of the group looking at him either concerned or embarrassed.

« I think that's enough. We need to catch Raptor! » Amber exclaimed.

« God that name sounds familiar… » Blitzo commented, having calmed down.

But as the group continued the chase, they found themselves in front of a huge gorge.

« Damn it! There must be a way across! » Amber cursed.

« I wouldn't be so sure, little girl. » a voice came from beyond the gorge.

It belonged to a man in a black dress and silver hair.

« Raptor! Holy shit, I thought I had smelled rotting fish! Which is odd, because the closest body of water is back in Mondstadt! » Blitzo shot back.

« Raptor! You can't escape! Surrender now and we'll hand you to Amber! » Moxxie shouted at him with a megaphone.

« Don't you mean "surrender now and you will not be harmed?" » Amber asked.

« Pretty much what he meant. » Loona casually responded.

« I don't need to escape! There's no way you can get me! » Raptor shot back.

Blitzo was about to reply, before looking at the gorge.

« Good point. Well, we tried, folks. » Blitzo casually walked away.

Amber looked at him in shock. « WHAT!? You can't just leave! »

« Look, dipshit. There's no way we can glide across. You just gotta appreciate the guy's hustle. » Blitzo replied.

« Yeah, like, our lives aren't worth this shit. » Loona replied.

« There's no way we can make that jump. C'mon, we'll catch him another day. » Moxxie added.

« Of course we can! You just need-»

« "Courage?" Is that what you were going to say? » Millie interrupted the girl with a stern look on her face. She then sighed. « Look, Amber. I know this is a world of magic, dragons and other crap like that, but a fairy tale is still a fairy tale! »

« Should probably follow their example, little girl! » Raptor mocked Amber, before laughing out loud.

« "What you lacked was not wind. It's courage that's allowed you to become the first flying birds in the world!" It's courage that allowed you to glide, and it is courage that can help us here! » Amber shot back.

« And as I said before, courage ain't gonna make you fly! When will you get that in that thick skull of yours! We don't have the tools to fly! » Moxxie shot back.

« Well, if you want to put it that way, you have the tools to fly, but are so gutless that you won't even try! » Amber shot back.

« Look, the only reason why you won't be a corpse like the rest of the Chilli Churros is because your boss pays well. Because otherwise, you don't get to say shit about us, ya cunt! You don't know the shit we went through, so to say we're gutless, that's bullshit and ya know it! » Blitzo angrily grabbed the girl by the collar.

« Then prove it. » Amber face also turned stern.

Blitzo stared at her for a few seconds, before sighing. « Oh, all right. But Jean better take care of emergency food. »

The group stared at the gorge for a few seconds, before eventually diving in.

As expected, they begun to dive down.

« What did I fucking say! » Moxxie scolded Amber.

Suddenly, however, a gush of wind appeared beneath the group, launching them upwards.

They then landed right in front of Raptor, who looked at them shocked.

The group and Raptor looked at each other for a few seconds, before the latter pulled out a crossbow.

In response, Blitzo pulled out three shotguns, Millie pulled out a giant axe, Moxxie pulled out two assault rifles, and Loona showed off her claws and teeth, all grinning maniacally except for Loona.

Before Raptor could utter a single sound, he was soon peppered with bullets, before being sliced and shredded by Loona and Millie.

« AAAnd we got ya! » Blitzo exclaimed.

But before he could walk away, Amber looked at him smugly.

« Fucking what? Doubt ya got the money. »

« I do believe that you should reconsider my "fairytale story." » she said smugly.

« It was not guts that got us across, and you know it! » Moxxie replied.

« But it was courage that drove you to do it none the less. The winds aid the brave, and what you did was brave. »

Moxxie sighed in defeat. « I suppose you're a bit right…»

« I'll be more than willing to accept your apology. » Amber added.

« After all the shit you put us through, that's the last thing you fucking deserve. » Loona said angrily.

« Fair enough. » Amber shrugged.

« So what now? Did we get our fucking licence or what? » Blitzo asked angrily.

« Of course. You're also invited to the next Wind Gliding Championship! » Amber proposed.

« Fucking deal! I'm gonna rip your ass open without even unzipping my pants! » Blitzo smirked, pointing his index finger on Amber's cheek.

« Agree to disagree, little Imp. I'm gonna enjoy crushing your dreams. » Amber replied with an ear-to-ear smile.

« Honey…better assholes have tried. » Blitzo shot back.

A short silence followed.

« Can we just home? » Moxxie asked annoyed.

« Gladly. » everyone replied.

Xxxxxxx

« Well what do ya know? Those fancy wings weren't useless after all… » Blitzo commented. After a short walk, the Imps had returned to Mondstadt, not before receiving their well-deserved gliding licence off from Amber.

« Still thinking that learning cool lightning shit is better. » Loona replied.

« Oh, don't worry, my sweet Looney! We'll get you a Vision! » Blitzo replied in a baby voice.

« Urgh, get away from me, old man! » Loona simply pushed the Imp out of the way.

« Guess that we should trust the locals a bit more, huh? Never thought birds needed guts in their evolutionary race…» Moxxie commented.

« "Trust" in heavy quotation marks, Moxxie. They better offer their sweet ass if they want us to deal with things non-murder related. We can't allow these fuckers taking advantage of us, or else before you know they'll make us wear maid outfits and provide blowjobs for the local population. Trust me, I would. » Blitzo replied grumpily.

« Hey Imps! » a voice called the group, belonging to Kaeya. « You wanna look for an ancient pirate treasure containing a legendary sword? »

Hearing these words, Blitzo eyes glimmered.

« Oh, crumbs…. » Moxxie said concerned.

Xxxxxxx

Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.

I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!

See you to the next update!