IX

Sirius was somewhere he rarely went, the library. He was attempting to study for his European Art History class. The class was learning about Rococo art. They had just learned about a painting called The Swing. Sirius found this to be a rather amusing piece of art. Upon first glance it is of a woman in a pink dress on a swing. However, when you learn more about the painting, it portrayed a bigger story. A man requested the painter, Jean Honoré Fragonard, paint his mistress being pushed on a swing while she was being secretly watched from below. The dude was totally looking up her skirt as she swung. Sirius couldn't help but laugh every time he saw the painting.

He wished that everything about art history was this amusing. He might actually have a chance of remembering it then. He was worried about his grade for this class, and not in the way he liked to joke about. Sirius could remember information about different art movements and the cultural context surrounding art. That wasn't the problem. It was the way they did the exams that was the main issue. They held the exams in a large exam hall. The teacher would project images of the art and then you had to write the time period, the artist, and the significance. His brain didn't work like this. He could never pull the memories quickly enough. The slides were switching before he could remember the date. Sometimes he could recall the importance of a painting, but never the date or the name. He didn't know how to study for this. He was just holding on for dear life, hoping he wouldn't have to repeat the class.

He sat for an hour, looking through the slides from the last lecture. He wasn't retaining any new information. Sirius didn't know how to study. He didn't understand what Lily and Remus were doing when they said they were in the library for long hours.

Sirius rubbed his temples, pushing his worries from his head. He noticed a girl from his lit elective sitting at the table next to him. He had missed the last lecture. Sirius made his way over to her table. "Hey Daisy," he said to the blonde. "Could you send me the notes from the last lit class?"

"Sure," she smiled. She pulled them up on her computer and airdropped them to him.

Once she was done, Sirius went to find James. He found him in the studio, carving a cast for a new sculpture he was working on. Sirius sat next to him, under the pretence that he would not bother him. He was very much bothering him. Sirius had brought a textbook with him, and even had a highlighter in his hand, but had not even glanced at the book.

"Can you at least keep your voice down?" James hissed, as Sirius hopped up and down in his seat.

"I am," Sirius said, his voice a low whisper, but still loud enough to be heard by those around them.

James rolled his eyes and then returned to the cast in his hand. "Where did you sleep last night?"

Sirius's eyes finally found his book. He was hoping to avoid this, but he knew James was going to ask questions. Sirius didn't want to talk about Remus, or anything to do with staying in his room. He was sure James would read him, knowing that he had a crush. That was all this was, a silly little crush, and he was determined to stamp it down. Talking to James about it was not an option. That would make it feel too real.

When he was quiet for too long, James stared at him, a long, hard, appraising stare. "Were you with Remus?"

"Why would you think that?"

"You're wearing his sweater," James pointed out. Sirius looked down. He had borrowed it from Remus as he was leaving for class that morning. He felt silly. Of course James would notice, he should have taken it off.

"Yeah, I was just with Remus," he admitted. Just.

James's eyes stayed fixed on Sirius, narrowing. "You slept in his room? Again?"

"Yeah," Sirius shrugged, hoping he was giving off a casual vibe. But he could feel himself fidgeting. He was trying to stop his foot from nervously tapping, but was failing.

"What's up with you two?"

"Nothing," Sirius said too quickly.

James raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

James went back to working on his sculpture and Sirius fell silent, trying to read his book. The last thing he needed was for James to figure out that he liked Remus. Sirius did not want to think about these new feelings, he need to do the exact opposite. He needed to go back to when he only saw Remus as a friend. The thing was, he wasn't sure he had ever wanted to be just friends with Remus. Now that he realized he liked him, every interaction they had looked different. Sirius was sure that he had always had a crush on him, he just couldn't see it.

He kept scolding himself, thinking, how can you have a crush on Moony? The problem was, the longer he thought about it, the more he understood how he could. He was brilliant, funny and caring. And god, when he blushed, that light pink colour of his cheeks was maddening. Why did he have to do that so much?

As Sirius scanned the same sentence for a third time, he could feel James's eyes on him again. James cleared his throat. "For the record, I know you're hiding something from me."

"I am not," Sirius shot back.

"You're reading that book," James chuckled. "You're actually reading."

"Despite what you might think, I can actually read."

"To be honest, I thought you were illiterate."

Sirius glared at him. "I'll have you know I read a lot."

James rolled his eyes before turning his focus back to his carving, and Sirius became distracted with his phone.

Moony: I found your sweater

Sirius: i was looking for that!

Moony: I know I was there

Sirius: keep it

Sirius: i'll keep yours

Moony: No! I like that sweater

Sirius: so do i

Moony: No!

Sirius: fine bring it tomorrow morning when we walk to school?

Sirius: we'll trade i'll give you yours back then

Moony: Sure

Sirius: thanks!

Sirius: what would i do without you?

Moony: Lose your head

Sirius: probably

Sirius: thanks for letting me sleepover

Moony: Anytime

Moony: It was fun

Sirius grinned down at his phone, James's eyes boring into him. "Who are you talking to?"

"Why are you so nosey?" Sirius glared.

"You're the one in my studio, bothering me," James pointed out. "You should just tell me."

"What?"

"Whatever is going on," James pushed.

Sirius's knee began bobbing quickly as the heel of his foot bounced. There was no way he was talking to anyone about this. But if he had to pick someone, it would be James. He would know exactly what to do. Maybe he could help him. Sirius immediately shut down the idea, though. No, he was supposed to be pushing this down, not openly talking about it. What if Remus somehow found out about this? Then he would be uncomfortable around Sirius. He might even lose him as a friend. Sirius didn't want to imagine that.

James waved his hand in front of Sirius's face. "Anyone in there?"

His focus snapped back to James. "Sorry, I was thinking about…"

"Yes?"

"That I should get going. I have a film theory test tomorrow," Sirius said, running his fingers through his hair.

"Sirius, we both know you aren't going to study."

"I study."

"No, you don't," James said, shaking his head. "You never have. You learn through verbally hearing information. That's why when you skip lectures, you have no clue what is going on."

Sirius's brows creased. James was right. "How do you do that?"

"I'm observant," James shrugged. "Did something happen between you and Remus?"

"No." He just wished it had. Well, they had cuddled, but that didn't count, right?

"You know I wouldn't care if something happened-"

"I know!" Sirius blurted. "Nothing happened, okay?"

"I'm going to figure out what's going on," James said, shaking his head. "You should just tell me."

Sirius had to do something. He was very close to telling James everything. He scooped up his things and started shoving them into his bag. As he pulled his leather jacket around his shoulders, James asked, "where are you going?"

"Somewhere that I don't have to talk about this."

"So, there is a this?"

"I- No- That's not what I said," Sirius spluttered. He shouted goodbye to James as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

"I'll be out late," James shouted at him as he walked away. Causing a few people to shoot dirty looks at the two friends.

When Sirius got back to his room, he felt restless. He tried to work on some homework, but ended up pacing around his room. He flopped onto his bed, pulling up Hozier tickets on his phone. Sirius didn't even look at the price, he bought two-floor tickets. Then sent a screenshot to Remus.

Sirius: probably should have put them in a cute card or something

Sirius: but i was too excited

Moony: That's too much

Moony: How much were they? I will send you money.

Sirius: don't know

Moony: Please tell me

Sirius: nope

His phone went silent, so he tossed it onto the bed next to him. He had expected this reaction from him, but he knew he would come around.

He jumped as there was a knock on his door. "Go away Moony," he shouted. "I'm not taking your money."

"Sirius, open the door," Remus called through it.

Sighing, Sirius let him in. "I'm not taking your money." He couldn't read the look on Remus's face. They both took a seat on Sirius's bed. "Just let me do something nice for you," Sirius said, not meeting his eye. He wished he had put them in a card, with a sweet quote. But he sucked at that sort of thing. Sirius was impulsive and as soon as the payment went through, he wanted to tell Remus about it. Maybe if he had gone about this differently, Remus would have reacted better.

"I wasn't even going to get floor tickets," Remus explained. "That's a lot of money for me."

He didn't know what to say. Sirius didn't want to make Remus feel bad, but paying for the tickets was nothing to him. He had more than enough money. "I just wanted to do something nice," Sirius said sheepishly.

Remus took his hand in his. "It is nice. I just can't afford to get you something like this in return."

"I don't expect that," Sirius said. Remus's hand felt warm in his, causing him to grin at the sensation. Liking the look of their hands together, he rubbed his thumb along the back of Remus's. His insides were squirming, so he pulled his hand back. He had just bought his friend a nice present, that was all. He would have done the same thing for James or Marlene, right? "Please, just accept the gift."

Remus sighed. "Thank you."

"Are you sure I can't have this sweater, though? Since I'm the best friend ever," Sirius grinned.

"Did you buy me Hozier tickets to guilt me into letting you keep that?" Remus said, raising his eyebrows.

"Is it working?"

"No."

"Damn."

Remus bit his lip. "You can have one different one."