Author's Note: These stories are based on fifty one-word prompts. They are all one-shots and are not related to each other.
Alcoholic– Why that 2014 Daily Prophet article suggests that Neville is a heavy drinker (featuring a tipsy Rita Skeeter)
"Oh my gosh, I completely forgot about this!" Hermione said. She was sitting at the desk, rifling through some papers, when she came across an old copy of the Daily Prophet.
"What is it?" Neville put down the box he was looking through and went over to her. He peered over her shoulder to see what she was reading: an article by Rita Skeeter about the members of the DA at the 2014 Quidditch Cup. Like most of her work, considering it inaccurate was an understatement. Hermione had to hold back a few laughs; she had forgotten how ridiculous Skeeter could be sometimes.
"'I toyed with the young Potter's affections before being seduced away!" she recited in an over dramatic voice, before bursting into laughter. She continued reading, but silently. Ignoring that ridiculous gossip, Skeeter had actually said some nice things about her. Probably still scared of me, Hermione thought.
Then it was Neville's bit next; she was very excited about it. "And here you are," she said. "'Idle gossip suggests that he enjoys a little more Ogden's Old Firewhiskey than most of us would expect from custodians of our children...' What?"
"Well you know that's not true," Neville said.
"Of course it isn't. This is the Daily Prophet and Rita Skeeter we're talking about. But how on Earth could she come to that conclusion?"
Neville smiled. "I have a guess. Remember that time at the Leaky Cauldron? And she was giving me a hard time?"
"Oh...right. She's awful, that woman."
"It's kind of funny when you look back on it."
Several years ago
The incident happened back when Neville was an Auror and he lived above the Leaky Cauldron with Hannah. He was sitting at the counter, drinking firewhiskey straight from the bottle. Hannah had hung around for a bit, but then she had to go to the backroom. There was some problem with the inventory. But Neville didn't necessarily mind being alone for awhile. He had recently come back from a stressful assignment, and he was due to leave again in only a few days. Barely in my mid-twenties and I already feel old, he thought to himself. Is this what my parents thought…? I don't even know why I'm doing this any–
"Neville Longbottom!" The woman who greeted him was a total stranger. This had never happened before, and it did nothing to improve his bad mood. As long as your last name wasn't Potter, Granger, or Weasley, you were supposed to be safe from that kind of publicity. Apparently not.
"Uh...do I know you?"
"Oh yes, I suppose it has been awhile." That statement was usually coined by family friends and distant relatives. But he still didn't recognize her, and he had a good feeling she wasn't either. "I only saw you once, your fourth year of Hogwarts." She took a sip of her drink and stuck her hand out. "Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet." He (begrudgingly) shook her hand. He didn't have the heart to tell her how much he loathed that sorry excuse of a 'newspaper.' "I've heard so much, but I've never gotten to meet you in person!"
And for good reason. Her name had sounded oddly familiar, and Neville realized it was because Hermione had warned him about her. He had never really followed the Prophet, but Hermione had told him horror stories of how Rita had slandered her, Harry, and Hagrid. Despicable. So Neville wanted nothing to do with her. "Well it was nice chatting with you…"
"An entire bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky? That's quite strong."
"I'm not drinking all of it."
"Of course not." She didn't sound like she believed him. She put her own glass to her lips and raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "But that's a bit much for a work night, isn't it?" Hermione was right– Rita Skeeter was annoying. And a tipsy Rita was even worse.
"I'm off duty." Maybe if he was vague she'd find him boring and leave him alone.
"I highly doubt that." Well at least she was being honest. "Oh come now, Mr. Longbottom. Let's talk about your little problem." Neville frowned. It was like talking to a wall. She took out a quick-quotes quill and some parchment from her purse. It was already writing mid-air. "The readers of the Daily Prophet would love to hear–"
"I don't have a problem, and I'm not telling you anything," he said, raising his voice. "Goodnight." He stood up to leave.
"Neville?" Hermione had apparently just entered the bar and she started walking towards them. Her eyes immediately darted to the parchment and quill. "What's going on here?"
"Nothing," Rita said innocently. "Neville and I are just having a little chat."
"You sure about that?" She pursed her lips and glared at Rita; Neville knew that crossing her meant certain death. "Because if this is an interview for an article, I can march right down to the Ministry and–"
"I'm not scared of you anymore," Rita said. "I'm a reporter, and I'm just doing my job."
Hermione turned to Neville. "Did you consent to this interview?"
"Now why would I do that?" he answered. "She's crazy."
"Pushy," Rita corrected.
"I can't stop you from writing articles," Hermione said. "But I can stop you from publishing this one." Before Rita could even understand what was going on, Hermione walked up the parchment and ripped it in half. The headline read, Neville Longbottom– Alcoholic? And he was immensely grateful that the article wouldn't be published.
Rita huffed and stormed off. Neville breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Hermione. I normally like to handle these things myself, but she is just..."
"The absolute worst."
"Yes, exactly."
"Hi Neville, I'm back." Hannah appeared behind the counter. "And Hermione! What can I get you?"
"Just a butterbeer."
"Got it." She handed one to her. "So anything interesting happen while I was gone?"
Neville and Hermione shared a look. Neville smiled and said, "You have no idea."