Chapter 37.
Destiny is strange and sometimes unkind.
It was unkind that Nobu and I were destined to meet again under such heavy circumstances. Fate brought us together again, but destiny was cruel, denying us any lasting happiness in our reunion.
Nobu continued to hold me against him, unmoved by my feeble protests. When I could manage to speak clearly, I immediately expressed my dismay at Nobu's disregard for the obvious dangers I posed to his health.
"Nobu-san, you must not stay this close to me!" I warned him. "You know this disease is contagious. Look at you! My blood is all over your front shirt!" I was both horrified and disgusted at myself.
"Sayuri, you're such a fool" Nobu said heavily.
"You're the fool, here" I told him. "Please let me go."
Nobu tightened his grip on me. "I was never this kind of man before I met you."
I thought I heard him sigh.
"Oh, Sayuri, what have you done to me?" Nobu asked me in a sorrowful voice. His grip was painfully tight but I could not bring myself to complain.
"I have lived through two wars in my lifetime," he muttered darkly. "I survived Manchuria, burned and scarred. Missing an arm. But as a man, I have never felt this bitter, until now."
He pulled me harder against him, cradling my thin body against his on the tatami mats. The mats were worn and thin. They had not been replaced since before the war. He could hardly be comfortable in this position.
"I saved no one in this war. I said I was your danna, Sayuri. I made promises to you!" I could hear the agony in his voice.
"Please, Nobu," I began gently.
"Let me finish!" Nobu barked. "Let me finish, Sayuri!" I was silent, waiting for him. Always waiting for him.
"I made promises to you, Sayuri. I always keep my promises. But why did you make it impossible for me to keep my promises to you? Why?" I felt warm drops of moisture fall onto my face.
"You came back" I reminded him, gently, trying to console him. Nobu made a sound that seemed like a bark of laughter and a sob. I struggled against him, trying to put some distance between us.
"Please, Nobu-san, let me go. This is not good for your health!" I pleaded.
"I don't give a damm about my health, Sayuri!" Nobu all but yelled. I could feel his tears falling on my face, wetting his shirt. They were co-mingling with my blood.
"I made promises to you!" Nobu sobbed angrily.
I didn't know what to do. Should I remain silent? Should I comfort him?
It was not unheard of for a man to cry in a tea house, of course. Sometimes they cried when they drank and were sorrowful. Sometimes men cried at banquets when they were celebrating. But I never experienced a man crying over a woman. Not like this.
Never, had I expected Nobu-san to cry over me.
But in this moment, I was only a woman and Nobu was just a man. Nobu ceased to be just my danna.
Sitting together on the hard, unforgiving floor, Nobu was holding onto me as tightly as he could, while sobbing, muffling his anguish into my hair.
"I'm happy you came back, Nobu-san." I let my head rest gently against his chest. "I'm sorry this could not be a happier homecoming for you" I said quietly.
"Is that all you can say to me?" Nobu harshly whispered, his voice wet with tears.
"What can I say to you, now?" I asked Nobu-san.
"I told you I'm sick. Now, I'm frightened to be near you. I'm frightened to taint you with this ugly disease." Again, I tried to move away from him, but Nobu's grip was like an iron band.
"What if I told you that I didn't care?" Nobu pleaded with me. Nobu had never pleaded with me, ever.
"What if I told you that even if you were covered in blood, I would still want you? Need you?"
I was silent. I could not trust myself to speak.
How could you keep yourself away from me, Sayuri?" Nobu whispered fiercely against my hair. Suddenly, I wished that I had thought to put the red star comb in my hair.
"I'm here now," I said simply.
"I need more, Sayuri" Nobu's body shook as he struggled to control himself. "I need more than now."
"I don't have any control over the future," I told him as gently as possible. I could not bring myself to mention death because I was afraid Nobu would do himself harm. But it was undeniable. War had separated us. Now death stood between us.
"I told you once that I will never sit idly while others take what is mine!" Nobu said warningly. "I refused to let death take my life in Manchuria. Now, I refuse to let death take you, Sayuri. You belong to me."
Nobu quickly informed Mother, with little ceremony, that he had bought out the Chairman's ownership shares in Iwamura Electric. The Chairman, consequently, was no longer the Chairman, even in name. The company had changed its name. Mother was astonished. She didn't bother to hide her absolute shock.
I watched their exchange in silence, sitting demurely by Auntie's futon. Nobu-san had warned me that he intended to talk to Mother, but I never guessed this news.
"But how?" Mother asked Nobu, pure surprise written across her face.
Nobu must have anticipated Mother's lack of tact and her questions, but his impatience was clear in his expression.
"The Chairman no longer has any inclination to run Iwamura Electric and we have decided to part ways."
Nobu didn't bother to elaborate further, even though it was clear that Mother was dying to know more.
"Here!" Nobu threw down a thick roll of paperwork. It made a thumping sound as it hit Mother's writing desk. Mother didn't even comment on Nobu's obvious rudeness.
"Here is my company's current financials" Nobu told Mother, with a glint of suppressed anger in his eyes.
"Because of our break with the Chairman, however, we kept this information from the newspapers. My last favor to him." I thought that Nobu's last words were tinged with barely suppressed sarcasm and irony. I wondered vaguely what had exactly occurred between the two men to cause such a breach in their long friendship. But this wondering would do me little good. Nobu would either tell me or not.
Mother greedily grabbed the papers and began to read the pages quickly. She must have liked what she saw. Her withered face gave Nobu a brilliant smile.
"Prison did not impoverish me, as you can see," Nobu said dryly.
"I never doubted you!" Mother said, lying through her teeth. "You were always such a successful business man. I had always expected Sayuri's danna to come out of this war on top."
Nobu didn't bother to acknowledge Mother's empty compliments.
"I have enough capital to fund your okiya with five additional geisha," Nobu told her.
"What?" Mother was clearly taken back.
"I will pay for five additional geisha to work in your okiya in Sayuri's place," Nobu explained, his patience wearing thin. Mother always had this effect on Nobu.
"For how long?" Mother demanded. "Sayuri is the daughter of the okiya. It's all very well if you want to have Sayuri to yourself for a while, but she must come back."
"What good is Sayuri to you in her current state?" Nobu asked curtly.
"She is the daughter of the okiya!" Mother said hotly. Mother refused to openly address my illness. Even to Nobu and at the prospective of money.
"Are you blind, woman?" Nobu angrily asked Mother. "She's deathly ill! She cannot work in her condition!"
His eyes immediately lit upon Auntie's skeletal figure, lying weakly on her futon. "Do you want Sayuri to become like that and entertain customers?"
I patted Auntie's hand apologetically but she only grunted and tried to push my hand away. Auntie knew Nobu better than Mother. Auntie was not offended by Nobu's remarks. In fact, she seemed amused.
"Sayuri is still the daughter of the okiya," Mother said again, determined to hold her ground.
"I thought you brought that child here as the new successor," Nobu shot back. "If it's more money you want, I won't renege on my promise to provide for the child as well."
"You already committed to the child's upkeep long before today, Toshikazu!" Mother hissed.
"I remember my promises, Mrs. Nitta," Nobu said through clenched teeth. "However, I learned that you brought that child into the okiya, intending on making her your new heir."
"What of it?" Mother flared back.
"Mrs. Nitta, there's a clear difference in providing for the brat of that angry geisha you employed and now paying for the upkeep of the new successor of the Nitta okiya!" Nobu was incensed. His nostrils flared with hostility and his face was darkened with anger. Mother was fortunate that she was a woman.
However, Mother was no less angry and hostile. "The child won't make her debut for years and you just want me to hand off Sayuri to you? What do you take me for, Toshikazu? A complete fool?" Mother sneered. Clearly the time for polite and paper-thin compliments was long past.
"Yes, I want exactly that" Nobu thundered angrily. "I will acknowledge the child as my own. She may not make her debut for years, but I will pay for her training, fees and clothing. With working geisha, your okiya will not be wanting!"
"It's a good offer" Auntie rasped from her bed. Mother made a face at her.
"Sayuri was a top paying geisha before the war! She was booked every single night and day." Mother rudely wagged a yellow finger into Nobu's face. "How do you expect me to replace her value with five geisha whose reputations are unknown?"
"I'm sure you'll manage," Nobu said. "You're the head of this okiya, aren't you? Choosing empty headed women to talk men out of their money should be second nature to you."
Mother was beyond furious. However, just as she opened her mouth to respond to Nobu-san, Auntie called out loudly from her futon.
"Just take the man's offer, Atchiko-san! For Heaven's sake, the neighbors must be hearings us at this rate!" I gazed at Auntie in wonder. Where had she come up with the strength to yell, let alone to yell at Mother of all people?
Still, I didn't dare comment. I could hardly breath. Hatsumomo might have rudely inserted her way into any conversation in the okiya, however I was still the adopted daughter of the Nitta okiya. No one could deny that present fact.
I kept silent, as expected. It was also very obvious that Nobu was more than capable of taking care of himself where Mother was concerned. Neither Nobu or Mother would appreciate my input. Again, destiny is strange.
Clearly unwilling to put more effort into debating with Mother, Nobu laid another card on the table.
"I have spoken with Arashino."
Mother frowned. It seemed like she was chewing on the inside of her mouth.
"Oh, is that so? Are you here to tell me that my precious kimono will return in the next hour, Toshikazu? Then marvelous, simply marvelous!"
"I have spoken with the man and he has agreed to supply your okiya with a substantial amount of new kimono that even you would find more than generous!"
"I'm not looking for generosity, Toshikazu. Arashino knows what this okiya is entitled to as far as our rightful belongings!" Mother stomped her feet like an angry child. Kimono had been a sore point with her of late. Nobu fought to control his face.
"Arashino is well aware of his obligations to return your kimono, woman!"
"That's strange to hear…" Mother began but Auntie began to speak in a voice that weakly wavered from her place on the futon.
"Enough! It is well enough that Toshikazu has come to us with this offer, Sister. As the head of this okiya, you should know better than anyone else that silk is scarcer than swan feathers! Welcome the man's offer and be done with it."
"Auntie, you know that Sayuri belongs…" Mother began but Auntie gathered unknown strength again.
"I'm tired of repeating myself. Enough. Take his offer. Five working geisha and new kimono, what more could we ask for?"
"Sayuri is the daughter of the okiya!" Mother said petulantly.
"As you've said," Auntie gasped wearily. "Look at her, she's skin and bones. Let her go with Toshikazu. The new geisha will surely talk to the neighbors. I don't expect to last another six weeks, anyways. Let the girl go and return when she has gathered flesh on her bones." Auntie looked directly at Nobu-san.
"Toshikazu, you can provide for Sayuri, can you not?" Auntie asked Nobu-san.
Nobu nodded grimly. He did not offer to explain himself again. I looked at the floor. I could hear Mother panting with suppressed anger.
"Fine, take her!" Mother said. "But I will not be so generous as I was in the past. Be assured that you will be billed top dollar for every hour of the day that Sayuri is absent from the okiya."
Auntie groaned weakly. "We have not sunk that low!" Auntie coughed in humiliation.
"He is taking the daughter of the okiya, not just an ordinary geisha!" Mother yelled out, startling the child from quiet her play. The child dropped her ball and looked towards us. I held my breath.
What Mother was asking was an extraordinary expense for Nobu-san to bear, even as my danna. I gathered my courage to intervene but Nobu stopped me.
"I'll pay it!" Nobu told Mother, with a gleam in his eyes. Mother's face scowled in anger. I was taken back with surprise. That sum alone, not even the Baron paid that exorbitant amount for Mameha in the pre-war days. I worried that Nobu-san would not be able to afford it.
"Every seven days!" Mother hissed. "I expect to be paid for Sayuri's absence every seven days!"
"I'll have my clerk deliver the money to you personally" Nobu-san sneered.
"I won't be made a fool!" Mother vowed to Nobu-san.
"Are you finished?" Nobu asked through gritted teeth. Mother shook her head.
"The kimono better not be some cheap, gaudy sleazy things, either!"
"Expect the return of your kimono and then some!" Nobu replied. "Arashino knows what is expected. Sayuri get your things, now!"
Startled, I rose to my feet.
"Sayuri…" Nobu growled. Giving Mother and Auntie a bow and an expression that I hoped looked sincerely apologetic, I went upstairs to gather my personal belongings.
Laying out a large square of coarse cotton, I put a few items of clothing that were folded neatly in the middle. Glancing around my room, I did not have much to take.
My perfume had long dried up. My make-up was non-existent. I did not dare take any jewelry from the okiya; however, I was determined to leave with one precious item.
Taking an old make-up brush, I twisted off the top that held the worn bristles. Carefully, I inserted the wooden stick between the floor boards. Pushing down with all my weight, the slight brush snapped in two but I accomplished what I needed. The floorboard was pried loose. I took the small bag of silk that held all the jewelry that I personally used.
Replacing the floorboard, I put the silk bag on my futon. I gently untied the strings and carefully pulled out the red star comb that Nobu-san had given me when I was an apprentice geisha.
I placed the silk bag with the remainder of my personal jewelry on my make-up stand. I wanted it within plain view so that Mother could see that I was not taking anything particularly valuable from the okiya.
Although the red comb was expensive and an antique, Mother would be hard pressed to trade it for anything valuable on the black market. Everyone was trading their family heirlooms for a bowl of rice. The red comb would bring next to nothing.
Nobu had given me rubies, diamonds, peals, coral and sapphires, but none of these items I dared to take with me. I knew Mother would begrudge the loss of these jewels and would press Nobu for the cost of their replacement. However, the red comb had been mine, even before I had become the daughter of the Nitta okiya.
The red star comb had been placed in my hair years ago, by Hatsumomo, hoping to humiliate me. I smiled at the memory of Nobu-san pushing this special gift towards me in a crowded tea house,in his usual abrupt and gruff manner. I remember him declaring that it was a mere pittance in value.
Destiny is strange.
As a young girl, I had no idea that I would continue to wear this comb and that Nobu-san would still be at my side. I never imagined that I would stop dreaming of the Chairman.
With the greatest of care, I folded the comb into my worn clothes and carefully tied the coarse cotton into a small bundle. The red star comb was safely inside.
My precious item was coming with me, to whatever end destiny had in store.