cn: minor canon character death, an amputation without much detail
The Hidden Sound is a new Village, its ninja a mix of foreign deserters, shinobi from the clans of Rice Country, and the inexperienced and in-training. Orochimaru's cursed seal and other eclectic physical modifications act as force multipliers, but in the way that teaching an untrained genin how to conjure up an impenetrable fog would be.
And Kisame suspects that Orochimaru might not actually train his underlings by usual definitions of the word. Akatsuki's recruitment criteria preclude their members having much interest in teaching.
This squad has power, Kisame won't deny that, and an unpredictable arsenal of jutsu – but there's a difference between having a knife and having experience with using it. A clever chuunin with far fewer techniques could go toe to toe with any member of these four. (These five? He's not certain about the two-headed one.)
It takes the Sound-nin fifteen seconds from the first attack to realize they're losing, which is appalling. Kisame's embarrassed on their behalf. They might be some of the strongest ninja that the Hidden Sound can field if they've grown so used to being medium-sized fish in a pint-sized pond.
"We might have to use that!" shouts one of them.
Kisame, not inclined to let them use that, blows a fireball the Sound-nin's way. (Any non-water ninjutsu is difficult for him, but, with the way the elemental table aligns, the only element he can never learn is earth, not fire.) He readies himself to charge ahead with the fading flames as cover, but Kakashi calls, "Wait!"
Against every instinct, Kisame grinds to a halt, sandal scraping against the earth. While the Sound-nin create distance and surround them, he says, strained, "Itachi-san."
Kakashi backs closer to Kisame, spinning a kunai on his finger and watching the Sound-nin with caution but not alarm. Which doesn't mean much, since Kisame would bet any amount that this body is a clone even though he can't tell for certain without Samehada. "This should be fine."
"For who?" he demands, somehow keeping his voice level.
With the best coordination they've shown yet, the Sound-nin drop down cross-legged and bring their hands together in front. Chakra surges, and four translucent walls extend between them and surge upwards.
That might be an actual problem. He can't run quickly enough to escape the growing cage in time, so he doesn't try; he crouches instead, biting his finger to draw blood, but before he summons Samehada Kakashi interrupts with, "This is harmless. That's just a barrier seal."
"Harmless," the two-headed Sound-nin spits. "You won't call it that when Orochimaru-sama arrives!"
...Meeting Orochimaru was the goal from the start. You'd think if it was this easy to lure him in someone would have managed it already, but, somehow, this might work out. Aside from the glaring issue of... "We would seem to be caught in a box."
"Four violet flames formation. I've seen it once before." Of course Kakashi remembers a jutsu he's encountered once in his life who knows how long ago. It's one of his reliable points. And of course he didn't see fit to explain it until after they got hit by it, which is the sort of the thing that's become an unfortunate trend with New Kakashi.
"It would have been nice to know that before they used it."
"There wasn't really time to explain it." Kakashi adds, a little sheepishly, "I wouldn't let anything happen to you."
...Well. What's Kisame supposed to say to that? He almost leans on his sword before remembering that it isn't Samehada, and he turns the motion into simply shifting his weight instead. The fight's paused: with the seal complete, the Sound-nin seem content to sit and glower at them from the other sides of the purple-tinted walls. "Do you know how to break it?"
"It relies on the users' concentration. Disrupt any of them and the formation collapses. Though you can't easily do that from inside since the seal also blocks jutsu." While Kakashi speaks, he signs, "This is a clone," followed by, "Secure, in position."
The clone might know what the original planned when he created it, but it can't perceive Kakashi's current location any more than Kisame can. There's not much to do besides take it at its word, though. "I suppose brute forcing – "
"You'd get fried."
He reminds himself that he's in this position because he agreed to it back in Fire. It is not wholly Kakashi's fault. Only ninety-nine percent.
The Sound-nin's second head splits off, acquiring its own body in the process – everything Orochimaru designs is so bizarre – and scampers over a hill and out of sight. The remaining four erect another barrier, safely sandwiching themselves between that and the first. Kakashi doesn't look surprised, so presumably the real version prepared for as much.
Kisame kicks up a pebble, catches it, and flicks it at the nearest wall. The rock bounces off without fanfare. One of the Sound-nin crows, "You're never getting out of here on your own."
"Hey," says another, "didn't this work too smoothly?"
Just a little bit. Kisame makes some ponderous calculations – messing around in a fight is always the worst choice, and Kakashi doesn't have much chakra to spare... but the enemies aren't making moves. And, at the pace he ran at, the Sound-nin who left should have made it far enough that he won't notice a commotion and turn back.
Kisame slices Kakashi's head off.
Smoke. A shadow clone, then, and half of his partner's chakra gone. "Couldn't be helped," he says to the gods.
The Sound-nin don't get long to process that they caught a clone. Kakashi bursts out of the earth behind the genjutsu user and cuts her throat, and the curtain lifts as both seals dissolve from the ground up.
In the end, none of the Sound-nin try to run. Kisame wouldn't have let them – these four stuck him in a box, and he and Kakashi already let a messenger through, and he's admittedly annoyed with Kakashi and would like someone to take it out on – but the lack of so much as an attempt puts him off. As Kakashi's disposing of the final body, he gripes, "Am I not frightening anymore?" Even Suigetsu last night would have picked a fight if Kisame didn't put a stop to it first.
Though that might have been normal Suigetsu behavior. Kisame wouldn't know. Mangetsu's little brother and a murderous prodigy by reputation... Kisame must have met him before, but his long-term memory has never done him much good. He let the boy out wholly as a favor to Mangetsu, not that Mangetsu's in a position anymore for Kisame to collect on the debt. Maybe Kisame will bring it up to him in the next life.
He doesn't remember Hoozuki Mangetsu either, to be honest, aside from associating the thought of him with a faint and sourceless sense of goodwill. Expecting Kisame to have distinct recollections of the younger brother is a little much.
"Oh, you're terrifying," Kakashi replies like the question wasn't rhetorical. Well, Kisame appreciates the vote of confidence. It almost makes up for the rest.
"I might start giving speeches before a fight."
"Maybe don't start with this next one." Kakashi turns away to pull his mask down and pop a soldier pill. Konoha-nin apparently tend to be less irreverent over their enemies' corpses than he's being, but Kakashi, unless he's particularly unhappy, plays off of the people around him – which, after fights, is generally Kisame. Copy-nin in more ways than one. "You're lucky that wasn't an exploding clone."
"You're lucky that was a clone," says Kisame pleasantly. "Don't do that again, please."
"Hai, hai."
Kisame would like it on the record that this should not have worked.
Putting aside everything regarding Kakashi and his magically cursed luck or whatever it turns out to be, Orochimaru would not have survived this long as an imbecile. On occasion he's either impatient or overconfident, judging by how his last encounter with Kakashi went, but he's far from stupid. Kisame has a very difficult time believing that the operation he's built is so fragile that losing a handful of disconnected ninja and outposts should be enough to bait him into the open.
And yet.
Orochimaru looks different from how Kisame last saw him. For one, half of his lung isn't visible; for two, if Kisame didn't know better he'd think the man turned fifteen this year. Kisame wouldn't have recognized him immediately if not for the paper-white skin, amber irises and slit pupils, and purple markings along his eyes, and not for the first time he wonders if those traits carry over naturally or if Orochimaru makes an effort to retain them.
Orochimaru looks as happy to be here as Kisame is, his glare frigid as he regards them from atop a rock formation that's too spiky and bristling to be anything but a remnant of an earth jutsu, probably from the last war. The ninja who carried the message to him peeks out from behind him.
"You two?"
"Yeah," says Kisame, propping Samehada over his shoulder and leaning his cheek against the bandages. Idly, he looses enough killing intent to match Orochimaru's steady but low-level pressure and Kakashi's red undercurrent. If everyone else is doing it, it's only appropriate to reciprocate. "Did you think it'd be Sasori?"
Orochimaru appraises them with the look of a man who's systematically ticking his way down the list of which neighbor's dog it could be that shat in his doorway.
Normally Kisame might judge him more for being pretentious, but it's just an unpleasant day for everyone. Kisame and Kakashi aren't going to kill him – he'll run away like he always does whenever people try – and Orochimaru isn't likely to kill them, because Kisame is difficult to put down and Kakashi, whatever he might have said at various points, clings to life so viciously that Kisame cannot envision him dying in a fight except to take his opponent with him. This whole venture has not stopped being a waste of effort.
Still, a job is a job.
"I assumed," Orochimaru replied, "that Sasori-kun had found such an abundance of free time that he decided to waste it by insulting my intelligence until I came out to meet him." He presses his lips thin. "Why. What earthly reason could you have."
Kisame doesn't have a strong enough sense of emotional permanence to keep a grudge. His memory's a blank page where it isn't fogged over. The past is a foreign country. He remembers the circumstances surrounding Orochimaru's defection as if he watched them in a movie, so now, with several years standing between then and the present day, he dislikes Orochimaru somewhat less than he dislikes unpeeled persimmons. The skin gets caught in his teeth.
Kakashi's the one inexplicably on a crusade. If he wants to explain himself, Kisame wouldn't stop him.
"That body," says Kakashi, and something about his tone jolts Kisame out of his exasperation.
Kisame should have pressed further for what Kakashi remembers of Orcohimaru. Even though pre-amnesia Kakashi backed off and washed his hands of the matter (Not my problem, he said again afterwards, voice tight), he was still rather angry about the circumstances of their last meeting, so post-amnesia Kakashi's anger now doesn't strike Kisame as odd. The issue is that there's another emotion under his words, too, that's...
"Where did you get it?"
"Oh, you can't be serious," says Orochimaru. "That's why you made a mess on my doorstep?"
"That face belongs to Uchiha Hitsuji," Kakashi says, low.
Fantastic. Kisame would have expected Konoha to keep a better eye on their Uchiha after Kakashi nearly extinguished the bloodline, but evidently not.
Kisame asks, "Are we dealing with the Sharingan?" What capabilities does the Sharingan usually have? No Kamui and no ninjutsu copying, which leaves eye contact-based genjutsu, genjutsu resistance, taijutsu copying, photographic memory, some level of chakra sight, predictive capabilities... That's annoying.
Kakashi doesn't reply, attention fixed on Orochimaru, and Orochimaru rasps, eyes narrowed, "What are you afraid of, Kakashi-kun?"
That is an excellent question.
Because Orochimaru's right: Kakashi's scared of something, and it's taken Kisame longer than it should have to label the emotion because he can count on one hand the number of times he's witnessed it happen. Surely Kakashi isn't frightened of Orochimaru, missing memories or not, so what does that leave?
None of this should have worked. They should not have so easily drawn Orochimaru out of his hole, and, combining that with how insistent Kakashi was on coming after him immediately...
...was Orochimaru in the middle of a delicate operation?
And Kakashi knew, somehow. Considered it concerning enough to address.
No, that's possible but unlikely. It could just as well have been luck that made all of the factors Kakashi needs line up. Kisame doesn't care for that explanation, but coincidences do occur in the world despite what Yagura would have every person in Water believe.
Kisame can't confirm any guesses with what information he has. He doesn't even know yet why they came.
He forgot how much he doesn't care for missions where he wasn't told the full parameters.
Orochimaru, unfortunately, has scented blood. He probes, "Is the possibility of my bearing the same bloodline limit you do so worrying? Is that why you're here, and not self-righteous offense on that clan's behalf?" He tilts his head and continues dryly, "I thought we were working towards the same goal."
Kakashi, currently loyal to Konoha, makes a small choked noise.
"But you chose such an inconvenient time for this" – Orochimaru scowls, presumably scrabbling for the right word to encompass this, and Kisame in that moment feels more sympathy than he'd prefer – "tantrum. Tell me, Kakashi-kun, why are you here? Did you even know about this body before just now? Did the illustrious leader send you? I'm sure he didn't."
How sure? Dead certain? Educated guess?
Kakashi doesn't reply. Apparently absolutely nobody will be hearing an explanation for why he decided Orochimaru needs killing right this instant.
Orochimaru grimaces, then takes a step back, sets his hand and most of his weight on his underling's shoulder, and with the other drags a sword out of his mouth. Sunlight reflects off of the saliva coating the blade. "Ukon. Don't move."
In one clean stroke, he lops off his own right leg at the knee.
Kisame, startled, swings Samehada around and sets her tip on the ground. Kakashi's eye widens, and he throws a handful of shuriken that Orochimaru slips bonelessly between.
Even jutsu need time to cross a distance. Kamui doesn't, but probably one of the several reasons Kakashi isn't trying for it is because Kamui is easily blocked unless he takes his opponent by surprise. Orochimaru's too far away for them to interrupt him as he leans further against his subordinate and claps his hands together with a spike of chakra, successfully activating whatever jutsu he's aiming for.
"Is he doing something?" Kisame asks Kakashi, who's tensed up rather badly.
This question Kakashi deigns to answer. He draws a kunai with an absent twirl, shoves his headband up to his forehead, and replies, "Edo tensei."
The technique Sasori and Deidara mentioned in their recent report on Orochimaru. Orochimaru summoned a dead Kazekage in an unkillable body and lost control over the jutsu when the Kazekage rebelled. Kakashi, who knew a remarkable amount on the topic, clarified that the jutsu requires the sacrifice of a living human, a piece of the target's body, and – what stops the jutsu from being used repeatedly on a large scale – the summoner's own flesh. The Shinigami demands a greater tithe than most contracts.
In return, you get to resurrect a dead person of your choice, and they'll remain in this world for as long as you have the chakra to sustain them, which, considering how much chakra it requires in order to hold, not many people do for long. The summon can be sealed or destroyed to temporarily incapacitate them, but they cannot be killed or banished by outside means.
Kisame's main thought when he listened to the explanation was, I hope Pein doesn't ever ask me to deal with that. It sounds pointlessly frustrating.
Orochimaru's underling's skin flakes away, and the skin of Orochimaru's leg peels off and drifts up to replace it. "If that happens to be the honorable Sandaime Mizukage," Kisame says, not quite paying attention to the words coming out of his mouth, "then you're on your own, Kakashi-san."
Orochimaru calls over his subordinate's screams, sounding a little strained, "You really should have warned me before trespassing, Kakashi-kun. I would have prepared any other summon. Unfortunately, this one was the only one I imagined I would need... which hasn't actually changed, come to think of it."
The screaming stops, and the body he's leaning on morphs rapidly: skin tanning, bones adjusting, muscle tone shifting and increasing, unbound black hair taking on color and growing down past the waist, clothes fraying apart and then coming back together in a variant of the Konoha uniform along with a white robe that snaps in the wind. Its chakra thickens, and Samehada stirs at the new flavor of it.
That's... ah. Well. This might actually have been worth the journey after all.
Kisame never expected a chance to see that shade of red hair again.
Not the Sandaime Mizukage, but his killer, opens her eyes. Orochimaru says, smug despite the gushing wound he can clearly feel just fine, "Welcome back, Yondaime Hokage-sama."
what's going on with Kushina: Kushina and Minato's deaths happened exactly as they did in canon, the only difference is that Kushina was the Hokage when the Kyuubi killed them and Minato was just the Yellow Flash. i think in canon Minato didn't get named Hokage until some point after the war (so after Rin's death and Obito's whatever), so up to that point everything happened basically identically except for the accumulation of incredibly minor differences that led to the different Hokage appointment.