Author's Note: I don't own Naruto.
Hellowwww... I'm back again. This time with some sugar and spice, a little something sweet and a little something nice.
Ick. Bad rhyme? :p
Anyway. Thankyou for the follows and favorites again! These notifications make me smile.
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I have tried to be as canon-compliant (both manga and anime, and the lite-novels) as much as possible, and left the time stamps of the events in this fic vague, because I couldn't find an official timeline. Feel free to assume on your own if these events happened within few weeks, or within a few months.
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Here it is, the next chapter. I hope you like and enjoy - Chapter 4 of 8.
Chapter summary: With apology, comes forgiveness. But rectifying your wrongs sometimes means opening up and leaving yourself bare. Will Sasuke be able to do that? What will he find on the other side of that door?
Chapter - 4 - To Make Amends
The members of team 7 decided to do something different today. Unlike the usual, where they used to disperse to their homes after their daily dinner at Ichiraku's, they decided to walk to the Lakeside. The weather had been very pleasant after a bout of evening rain and the viridescent canopy of Konoha stood out much vibrantly, as if refreshed after a cleanse. With today's downpour, it seemed clear that change had begun to set in. And for the first of many times, Sasuke allowed himself to get lost in the beauty of the same.
The raven haired boy walked beside Kakashi just behind Naruto and Sakura who were leading the way. They could all use a walk in this weather. As his two friends walked ahead of him, Sasuke noticed heads turning. It was not unnatural for people to be intrigued when two of the most capable ninjas in Konoha walked around simply laughing. But it did not go unnoticed by him that the same heads were turning in his direction in alarm and distaste. Sasuke of course went for the usual, avoiding the eyes that bore into him.
Kakashi broke the silence that had been long brooding between him and the teen Uchiha. Although the two duos had naturally paired up, it seemed as if Sasuke was adverse to talking, even when he was not plotting revenge. "I did not think an evening stroll would warrant this much attention", he said, noticing the tension around Sasuke's head.
The Uchiha rolled his eyes like a typical teenager. "If you want me to speak, you can just say so", he chided the had-been sharingan wielder. It had been becoming more and more easier for Sasuke to understand the words and actions of his former-sensei.
Kakashi wanted to laugh at that. "Now, now, this is not an interrogation is it?" he countered. He expected Sasuke to be better than this. But maybe it would take more time, and more poking from the esteemed members of team 7. And if Sasuke would not try, he would push him there. It was about time.
But the Uchiha maintained a stunning silence in response. So Kakashi kept up his end of the bargain and threw a question. Maybe he would share some wisdom, and Sasuke would be wise enough to accept it.
"But now that we are on the topic of speaking, did you talk to anyone today Sasuke?"
"What?" came the reply, and Kakashi sighed.
Sasuke was visibly confused at Kakashi's question. It was one thing that Kakashi wanted him to talk and not brood as was his instinct, but what did he even mean by this question. Sasuke assumed he talked to people in general. He was making a conversation as they were speaking, were they not. But he had recently begun to understand, as he had more dinners with team 7, that he naturally had nothing to say most of the time. He much preferred to listen, and be entertained by the antics unfolding in front of him, letting out a chuckle here and there. One might even wonder if a solitary life for a long time had turned him into a mute. But then again, Naruto seemed to speak a lot in spite of living a solitary life. Not that the idiot spoke of anything of value.
"I take that as a no," came Kakashi's snarky remarks as the ninja rolled his eyes at him.
Sasuke was even more confused.
With that, Kakashi began educating him again. "People should talk to other people everyday. Even if it's just small talk. Otherwise our hearts grow dark and sullen. Talking develops friendship and broadens the mind, you know. People have a lot to give. And makes you feel grateful to be alive. Talking is being human."
Sasuke looked at the older man stunned. Wherever does he get these wise words from, surely not Icha-Icha.
"What?" Kakashi teased. "These are the words of a wise person", he waved. Sasuke only raised his eyebrows in response.
The silver haired ninja continued. "The remaining time...You can do whatever you want", he smirked.
Sasuke legitimately snorted a laugh. "Can I?", he said sarcastically. With the number of eyes on him, this seemed too far fetched than him making small talk right now. But Kakashi only turned to look at the teenager in response, choosing not to say anything.
"There is a lot of side-eyeing going on around", Sasuke spoke again, eying the crowd with his mismatched eyes.
Kakashi responded in the affirmative. But that no-where signified Kakashi believed him.
"People are not ready to see an Uchiha on the streets just yet", Sasuke finished, convincing himself more so than the master walking beside him. But a voice within Sasuke said that that was what needed to be changed. That was where wounds still needed to heal. It was not just about him accepting them, but them accepting him as well.
Kakashi seemed to have read a little too much into Sasuke's words and understood their true orientation. "They will come around", he said as he patted Sasuke on the shoulder.
But there was something poking Sasuke on the inside. A question his mind itched to find an answer to. How will they come around? He needed to heal. They needed to heal. And him walking around freely on the streets of Konoha, although with an ex-ANBU-slash-next-Hokage and two of Konoha's best ninja, it did not seem to diminish the fear within peoples eyes. Sasuke wondered if he should ask what needs to be done. For a second he wondered if he could solve this problem on his own as well, just like he did with the issue of his clan's massacre and the curse of hatred. But he wanted to be honest with himself now. When did Orochimaru ever teach him people skills along with the unconventional fighting techniques? He had a higher chance of mastering Byakugan than dealing with people. Huh, Sasuke thought, maybe he should take up Kakashi's advice and practice talking to people. Or maybe he could just ask Kakashi what to do instead of wasting time. Oh. Maybe he should.
With his hesitation reflecting in his tone, Sasuke tried. "I … I need to do more, don't I?", he murmured, but did not look up to meet Kakashi's eyes. The words felt heavy against his tongue and heat pooled in his chest rising upwards, and the raven haired boy was pretty sure the tips of his ears might have fully turned red.
The silver haired ninja responded nonchalantly. "Yes," he said, although Sasuke was sure he was smirking under his mask, as evident by the curve forming over it.
Sasuke realized that there was a hidden lesson he needed to learn here. So embarrassment aside, he did what he needed to do a long time ago. The Uchiha swallowed his pride and decided to make the picture clear to Kakashi, fighting an almost innate instinct rooted in his very core and spoke up. "Will you tell me what to do, Kakashi?" his voice came out carefully.
To Kakashi, it almost came as a surprise. There was a certain degree of helplessness in his student's tone as he asked Kakashi for help. Although Kakashi did not expect this tactic to work, it did anyway, humbling the mighty Uchiha and grounding his pride. The inability to seek help had already cost him, as it did to the boy with the Sharingan. But it was about time to let go of it. So when Sasuke folded it into a corner and asked him for his help, Kakashi wasted no time in delivering that help. After all, that is what friends are for.
Kakashi's eyes lit up merrily as gratification spread across his face. Maybe his student's growth was what reflected in the ninja's eyes. But he did not waste one moment after that to provide Sasuke with an answer to his predicament. "Any apology has to be followed by rectifying your mistakes, Sasuke. That is how you set forth to make amends", the ninja advised, confirming Sasuke's active hearing with a deep hum. "Why don't you try that."
Rectifying his mistakes, hm. Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement. How could he forget that. To make things right with the people he wronged. Maybe Sasuke knew where to begin, who to begin with. So he would practice the how.
But it seemed that would come after the lakeside walk, because Kakashi had already begun to pull him into a world of conversation about tadpoles, and Sasuke resigned himself to learning how to make small talk first.
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Sasuke knew where to begin rectifying his mistakes. Naruto and Sakura were the people he had hurt the most. Given he was living with Naruto, making the first step here was easy for him. So when they reached his apartment that night, Sasuke wasted no time. He asked the blonde bluntly, as to how to make things right with him. While Naruto did wonder what brought this on, it did not take long for him to laugh out at his brooding friend and say he wanted nothing. For a moment, Sasuke wondered what to make of that. The blonde clarified quickly that letting them help Sasuke and be there for him was all he needed, and now he had got his best friend back. Sasuke did not understand how it could be enough, but accepted it nonetheless. And so, the Uchiha realized that his next step would be apologizing to Sakura. That was a dilemma Sasuke did not know how to begin or approach.
Although Sasuke had apologized to her wholeheartedly as he lay dying in the valley, rectifying his mistakes was not something that came to his mind back then. But how would he even begin? Rectifying his mistakes towards her would mean to do right by the things that he had done to hurt her. And he had done a fair share of those that began with lashing out at her for showing kindness and went on to almost killing her. Not to mention destroying every bit of her every single time she wore her heart on her sleeve, every time he walked out on her. There was so much to correct. And if Naruto's words from a few days ago were any clue, she still loved him. But Sasuke could not muster the strength to think how he felt about that, so he didn't. And now he did not know how he could possibly do right by her if he couldn't bring himself to think about the one thing she wanted from him for so long. However, he knew that he had to rectify his mistakes. So he would do anything to make it right. At the very least, he would try.
Sasuke waited outside of Konoha's hospital the next evening. Given the team's routine dinners, he had understood by now that she directly came from the hospital and he figured talking to her as soon as he could would be for the best. Although he was having some trouble planning out the talking part. He had given a fair amount of thought to how he would approach the situation, but he came up with nothing that felt right. So he decided to take it one step at a time and begin with a proper apology, acknowledging the things she had done for him.
Soon, he could see a pink head walking out of the hospital, chatting with one of the nurses. Her head turned and her eyes lit up in recognition, and she finished the conversation quickly, approaching him.
"Sasuke-kun? What are you doing here?" she asked, concerned. "Is everything alright?"
Sasuke got right to the point. "Yes, can we talk?"
"Oo.. okay. Although, I was just walking to Ichiraku."
"Then I'll walk with you and we can talk on the way", he said and she nodded, her feet taking off to their dinner spot as he walked beside her.
"Tell me, what's the matter?" she asked, now calmer realizing the matter was certainly not life of death.
"I want to properly apologize for my actions, Sakura", he said. No evasion. No twisting words. No play at hand.
Her jaw fell in shock at that. "Sasuke-ku-", she began, only to be interrupted by him.
"I am really sorry for the way I treated you", he said slowly. "You were only trying to pull me out of the darkness, just like Naruto was. You did not deserve any of what I put you through."
Her moist eyes glistened as her voice quivered in response. "Thankyou, Sasuke-kun", she said as she smiled.
But Sasuke was not finished yet. He wanted to make things right, if that was possible. If she deemed it possible. "I want to rectify my mistakes and make amends. How can I make things right", he said out his thoughts.
And right there, his control over the situation ended. Sakura could ask anything of him now. Tell him to do anything to rid her of all the hurt she received from him. Sasuke internally braced for the unknown to hit him. It never came.
Sakura simply looked at him strangely. "I forgive you, Sasuke-kun", she said. "Just be who you are, that is enough," she said and smiled again.
Sasuke felt like his soul had been pushed away from his body. He had thought that her words would drop a mountain of uncertainty upon him, that whatever she would ask, he might not be able to give it. After all, she had requested something very specific from him many times before and he never submitted to them. He knew what she wanted. So he had concluded that that's what she would most certainly ask for, and resigned to not knowing if he would disappoint her again or not until she posed the question. But this? This was the strangest request she ever asked of him.
"Thats.. All?" he asked, not caring about the confusion reflecting in his voice as he turned to look at her, meeting those green eyes. She simply nodded.
Sasuke was in disbelief. He had thought she would ask him to accept her, which now in hindsight had begun to seem very self-centered. But his thoughts began to find their way out before he could even process them.
"I thought you would-" he began, but a sudden shriek caught his attention.
"Sasuke! Sakura-chan!" the blonde ninja had yelled abruptly, dissipating whatever words were forming on his tongue.
Sasuke turned to look and caught Naruto running towards them with a wide grin on his face. In tow was their silver haired teacher who chose to simply walk towards the intersection with a sigh of disbelief plastered on his face.
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Why did Naruto always have to have the worst timing, Kakashi wondered. Here he was one moment, schooling the blonde boy on the duties of a Hokage when Kakashi had caught a glimpse of a pink head walking alongside a cloaked figure. It did not take longer for him to decipher that it was his other two students, who were walking towards Ichiraku's from the hospital. But Kakashi also recognized the two to be in conversation and somehow felt it in his heart that interrupting them would not be the right thing currently. However, Naruto seemingly lacked this foresight and rushed to greet them in excitement.
"Good to see you both", Kakashi said trying to hide his disappointment as much as he could. Naruto, who was still grinning at the two from ear to ear, had somehow inserted himself between them. For a moment Kakashi wondered if it was possible that the blonde was doing this on purpose, or was this plain incompetence to not notice something unfolding in front of him.
"Hi Naruto", Sakura greeted the blue eyed boy with a warm smile, and then waved at Kakashi as well. "Kaka-sensei."
The blonde then put one of his arms on each of their backs and pulled them together, slightly wincing as his stub hit the Sasuke's back a little too roughly. "It's good to catch you both here", he said anyway, "I was missing you two, you know. All three best friends in the same place. And.. And... Now there won't be any waiting at Ichiraku's" he finished, pushing the two to the other side of the intersection at a faster pace.
Kakashi understood from Sasuke's stunned face that the black haired boy was definitely in the middle of a conversation. Even more so, one that Naruto's presence had interrupted, and not politely. And perhaps shook him a little too? Determined to do something about it, he called for Naruto. "I thought you wanted to know about the other duties of a Hokage, Naruto", Kakashi crossed his arms, "or do you just plan on being in my company until you no longer find it necessary?" That should do it.
The blond, definitely caught off guard, quickly stopped in his tracks. "What? Hey!… I just got excited seeing them here. I got a little distracted thats all", he said sheepishly, walking towards Kakashi alone.
"And here I thought I was the old man…" Kakashi slipped in some sarcasm to top it off. "You know that wouldn't bode well, when you become Hokage", he dived into a conversation with Naruto again, hoping it was enough of an opening for the remaining two to slip back into their conversation.
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Naruto's sudden presence had hit Sasuke like a ton of bricks. Given the confusion he was in already upon finding out that Sakura had forgiven him just as easily, the crisp hug Naruto gave them both, the fact that he had missed them and called them best friends, he fell into a crisis wondering what he did to deserve this. So much admiration, love, and support. Why? How? And as these questions lingered, Sasuke felt a pit forming in his stomach. However, Sakura's voice quickly pulled him out of the trance he almost entered.
"You were saying, Sasuke-kun?" she asked, but the Uchiha found himself unable to discarded the bottomless question that was forming in his mouth.
"How did you both forgive me so easily?" he asked in disbelief, the first and only thing that came to his mind.
Sakura looked at him with the most curious expression on her face, that slowly mellowed down into kindness. "Because we know why you did the things you did."
Sasuke was surprised at the response. How did they accept his need for revenge so suddenly, when they couldn't before? Unless they now think that he didn't really mean to do what he did. They think it was the curse mark, and an answer struck him.
Immediately, he responded. "Not all of it was the curse mark, Sakura. Sure, his consciousness corrupting my thoughts was a part of it. But it was not the only part", he almost pleaded, leaving Orochimaru's name hanging in the air.
Sakura tilted her head to one side gently. "How do you see it?" she asked.
She knew this. Sasuke knew that Sakura knew this. "You were there years ago when Kakashi told me. I had to willingly use the seal and draw power from it. I had a choice, and I chose to be a bad person. Not all of it was the curse mark", he finished.
But Sakura's response only surprised him again. "I know that, Sasuke-kun. But the way I see it now, you thought you had to choose between getting to avenge your loved ones, or staying back and doing nothing. That's what made you draw power from it. Only a person who is kind and just will do something like that," she said, leaving Sasuke too speechless to reply. When had she thought about all of this, his heartbeat pounded in his ears.
The pink-haired girl looked fondly at their other best friend and added more of her thoughts. "Naruto might not elaborate like this, but it is that simple for us. We know who you really are", as she finally came to a halt looking at him.
Sasuke found himself barely able to exhale, that was all he could muster right now. Because he suddenly understood how well his teammates understood him, not just to forgive him, but to see a light in him as well. Something he did not believe he had. Would it be so bad if he believed it too?
"And Sasuke-kun," Sakura began again, "Good is not something one is, it is something one does, actively. You can do a lot of good", she said, and the words carved themselves into Sasuke's brain. "Come on, let's go in. I'm craving some miso today," she smiled prettily as she walked into Ichiraku's.
A cold breeze rushed squarely into Sasuke's face, yet, somehow he felt lighter. Forgiven, somehow. Maybe hopeful, as well. To do good, like she said. And if she believed him capable, he would trust her judgement, always. And it struck him what his next step would be. Making amends towards Konoha, he decided as he looked up at the Hokage monument, readying itself for the construction of a new face. And the Uchiha instantly knew where he wanted to spend the next few days, making a difference in Konoha.
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A/N : If you like it, leave a review, my dear readers! Lots of love!
Also, The fic is complete, and I will post weekly. You can tune in for a new chapter every Friday around 5PM GMT.
Up next - When dreams tread critically close to mirroring reality, that speaks a lot about Sasuke's thoughts. Can someone who almost did the same things as him be able to help him through self-reflection?