Author's Notes:
RELATIONSHIPS: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
RATING: Mature
Chapter 4: Celebration, or where they converge around a bonfire
They're almost at the area of the beach where they left Leorio behind when Killua suddenly stops in his tracks and grasps the back of Kurapika's shirt. When Kurapika looks askance at him, Killua points in the direction of a bonfire over the blue sand.
A group of twenty-somethings — mostly women in skimpy bikinis — are gathered around the crackling flames. They're grilling fish, sipping bottled beers, and swaying along to bubblegum pop from a portable radio. Smack dab in the middle of the party are none other than Gon and Leorio.
On either side of Gon, a woman clutches his arm while several others hover in his vicinity. They're hanging onto his every word as he regales them with tales, presumably of his adrenaline-ridden adventures as a Beast Hunter.
Occasionally, Leorio interjects with a seemingly witty comment. Every time he opens his mouth, the redhead standing closest to him falls all over herself laughing. She takes these frequent giggling fits as opportunities to squeeze his bicep or to let her head fall against his bare chest.
Killua and Kurapika stay in the shadows and stare at this scene. Though they're stewing in silence, they both understand that the other is consumed with the same longing and envy for what must forever remain out of reach. At the very least, even though they're both dying inside, they don't have to do it on their own. In the first place, neither of them could've gone on this trip without having each other there for the purpose of commiseration.
They wait until Gon and Leorio leave. Not long afterward, the stragglers at the party tidy up and disperse from the beach to return to their rooms at the hotel. Soon, there's nobody left at the shore.
As the two of them step out of the shadows, Kurapika tells Killua that he's right.
"I usually am," Killua replies, "but what about this time?"
"I'm still not over Leorio. You know, I never see him anymore except at the occasional meeting of the Zodiac Twelve. I'm all business then, with my heart turned off and with my brain turned all the way on. So I somehow deluded myself into believing I was way past the point of entertaining any hopes of being with him. But watching him play around with women who actually have a shot at earning his love is reopening old wounds of mine."
Killua kicks a charred piece of driftwood on the cerulean sand. "Yeah, it sucks. Straight men truly are the bane of our existence, aren't they? I suppose your man's more of a lost cause than I realized. We both know he whispered his room number to that redhead who was eyeballing him hard before he left."
"Well, it could be worse. I could be you — agonizing about the multiple invites Gon has surely gotten from all those women at the bonfire. I don't doubt that half of the hotel rooms would welcome someone like him with a red carpet."
Killua stuffs his hands into his pockets and sighs. "You don't think I'm used to that by now? It's hell being in love with a heartbreaker of his caliber. Whenever he picks up Alluka at the university, he has to fend off hundreds of advances. Students, staff, professors — you name it. He's like a universal magnet, or so Alluka tells me. Speaking of my sister, I have to snap some photos of the beach for her as souvenirs. The night vision in this camera is supposed to be spectacular. I might be out here for a while. You can head back to the room if you want."
"I think I'll drop by the bar," Kurapika says. "I want to drink until I forget my own name, let alone that this wretched day ever happened."
"Go for it. Hunt for a bad boy who can help you forget all your problems, Mr. Blacklist Hunter. When I get back to the room later, I'll knock first. Yell at me or something, then I'll know to stay away until you're done engaging in, ahem, intensely therapeutic physical activity with a devilishly handsome stranger. Just don't forget to invite me to your shotgun seaside wedding tomorrow morning."
Kurapika lets out a hollow laugh. "Oh, I seriously doubt I could ever get that lucky. I'm not the kind of guy who's destined for a happy ending, remember? Room service for dinner in a couple of hours? I know your day's been at least as atrocious as mine, so I'll be nice and treat you to triple chocolate ice cream for dessert."
"You're on."
Even though Leorio gladly could've gone through the entire cooler of beers — it's just been that kind of day — he's made the decision to ditch the bonfire party for Gon's sake. In the middle of the group that welcomed them, Gon rattled off every story that crossed his mind in an effort to be personable and polite. Even so, Leorio could sense the discomfort radiating from his friend as more and more women converged around him, pinched his cheeks, and squealed over his cuteness.
Leorio didn't miss the redhead's attempts to seduce him either, but he wasn't in the mood for flirtation. Far from it, in fact. The only way he could envision a situation where he'd willingly smooch her was if she choked on her roasted fish and he had to demonstrate to her friends how laymen should not perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation.
Now, on the way back to the hotel room, Leorio presses Kurapika's novel close to his heart. Perhaps it can act as a talisman to ward away all the bad thoughts he's been having. With his other hand, he holds his phone against his ear.
He's been alternating between calls to Kurapika and Killua. Again and again, nobody picks up.
"Maybe Killua's talking to his sister on the phone," Gon suggests. "That's why he's not answering."
"But I'm not getting a busy tone. And where the hell did Kurapika go?"
They've arrived at their room. While Gon sits by the bedside table, Leorio collapses over the mattress and flattens his face against a pillow.
There's a sour taste spreading in Leorio's mouth. He's picturing Killua and Kurapika taking full advantage of their own double bed. Knocking against the headboard until it leaves a dent on the wall. Making the bed springs creak and groan. Biting pillows to the point where feathers burst out, raining over Killua's rippling back and Kurapika's fluid-streaked chest beneath.
Gritting his teeth, Leorio tosses Kurapika's book on the bedside table. Clearly, it's doing nothing for him as a talisman. Has even a minute passed today when he wasn't harboring turbulent thoughts about Kurapika?
Leorio had high expectations when he planned this summer vacation with his four favorite human beings in the world. Killua and Gon would take time out of their adventure-filled lives to kick back and have fun and be young. Most importantly, something would happen between him and Kurapika. Leorio didn't know what exactly he wanted to happen, but something.
Prior to this vacation, Leorio and Kurapika never interacted anymore in a context removed from the business and the politics of the Hunter Association.
Back in Swardani City, Leorio still saw Kurapika fairly frequently. He heard Kurapika's voice often enough — appealing in its carefully-calculated modulation and commanding whenever it rang out during Zodiac meetings. The moment he spoke, every eye in the conference room would instantly be on him whether he stood up or not. Even Ging and Pariston — former Zodiacs who'd come back to fill Botobai's and Saiyu's vacated slots — seemed to respect Kurapika. That notorious twosome hated and were hated by almost all the other favorites of the late Chairman Isaac Netero, yet got along with Kurapika surprisingly well. Kurapika's historical connections with the mafia equipped him with an exceptional tolerance for dealing with difficult personalities.
Leorio also heard Kurapika's name on a regular basis. It was common knowledge that Chairman Cheadle Yorkshire was seriously considering stepping down to focus on her medical research. By popular consensus, Kurapika's name was being floated around as the best choice for her successor, despite being the youngest Zodiac and technically the newest member. Leorio listened to the other Zodiacs gossiping about his friend with a mixture of envy and pride. Leorio was, after all, the one indirectly responsible for recruiting the member who would eventually become the Zodiacs' most promising.
But what Leorio almost never heard or saw anymore was Kurapika's voice directed at him and Kurapika's eyes looking into his own.
Everything changed after they met in a café about six months ago. That day, both Kurapika's face and eyes were red, and his hands were trembling around a cup of black coffee. He was whispering Leorio, Leorio, Leorio with a level of reverence that the owner of that name had never known before, whether in his best friend's voice or in anyone else's. Leorio had to swallow before he asked Kurapika what was wrong. He was bracing himself for the worst sort of news — a suicide mission, a terminal disease, a one-way ticket to a place where Leorio could never reach him and from which he could never return. Instead, Kurapika confessed that he'd fallen deeply for Leorio not long after they'd reunited for the Dark Continent expedition and loved him more every day since. All at once, the world seemed to hold its breath and stop spinning. Leorio's mind was wiped blank. He started mumbling words that he himself couldn't hear. Before he knew it, the flaming color had faded from Kurapika's eyes. Its corners were leaking. Kurapika was crying. Crying so hard it looked like he'd shake out of his skin. Leorio, who'd never seen his best friend in tears before, sat frozen as Kurapika stood up, turned around, and hurried out of the establishment. Leorio could only spring into action after the door had slammed closed behind him. By the time he gave chase and looked around the sidewalk outside the café, Kurapika had vanished into thin air.
When they next encountered each other in the association's headquarters, Leorio approached him after the meeting and attempted to hash things out between them. But Kurapika, staring somewhere to the side of Leorio's head, simply said that he didn't want to talk about what happened in the café. Not that day. Not ever.
So Leorio had gone from that earth-shattering discovery — that Kurapika harbored romantic fantasies about him — to the reality of Kurapika withdrawing completely from his life. No more of Kurapika's long, indulgent looks that lingered on Leorio's lips and that often made Leorio's brain feel a little fuzzy. No more late-night conversations where Leorio babbled endlessly about the unexpectedly bureaucratic drudgery of hospital duties while Kurapika invariably improved his mood with sympathetic humming and sweetly affirming comments.
Your patients are fortunate to have a doctor and Disease Hunter like you, Leorio. You're making the world a better place with every life you save and every family you keep intact, Leorio. I know Pietro's looking fondly down at you as you strive to become an even more virtuous and honorable man with every day that passes, Leorio.
Kurapika — never farther than a phone call away — used to make Leorio feel special in this way. Waking up and reminding himself each morning that he could no longer have that always felt like dousing his heart into a bucket of ice-cold water. Since that fateful day when everything changed, Kurapika had become nothing but a distant dream to him.
The slamming of the landline telephone in the hotel room rouses Leorio from this deep dive into his memories. He sits up on the mattress and looks at Gon, who's curled up on the chair by the bedside table.
Worry creases Gon's face. "Sorry, did I wake you?"
"I wasn't asleep. Were you calling their room just now?"
"Yeah, I tried a bunch of times. I even went over there and knocked. Nobody answered. Regardless, this is just day one of our vacation, isn't it? Tomorrow, we'll have lots of fun as a foursome, won't we?" Though Gon smiles, the smile doesn't reach his eyes.
"Look, you can stop pretending you're not frustrated. I totally get it."
Gon, after a brief pause, can no longer contain his emotions. His voice bursts out bitterly. "I knew you were pissed off too, Leorio! You planned out this trip so we could all have a good time together, but Killua's been sabotaging everything from the start! I can understand why he wouldn't want to hang out with me, but that doesn't mean he can keep monopolizing Kurapika either! Honestly, Kurapika's the one I really feel bad for here. He's caught in the crossfire of this chaos when I know he'd rather be here with you, having a conversation with you, and sharing a room and a bed with you."
"If Kurapika really wanted to be with me, he'd be here. But he's not. Maybe he secretly craves Killua's company more than either of us would've guessed he would. We might not be enjoying this trip, but I can't confidently say the same for those two who've been avoiding us all day."
Scowling, Gon picks up the phone once more. "Whatever. I'm sick of them both, then. I'm tired of phoning their room and getting zero results. I'm going to make an external call instead."
"To whom?"
"Alluka. Killua would've kept in touch with his sister for sure, no matter where he's been. I'll bet she knows where he's hiding."
Leorio observes as Gon's voice automatically becomes more animated as he gets Alluka on the phone. His expression never brightens to this extent unless he's talking to or about her. Even though he explained to Leorio just now that he was reaching out to her because she would likely know her brother's whereabouts, minutes pass without him once name-dropping Killua.
That's when it dawns on Leorio. Gon is interested in Alluka, isn't he? It could be a crush, or it could be true love. It could be one-sided or reciprocated. Either way, this would explain why Gon showed zero interest in the advances of the women at the bonfire and especially why he and Killua have been tiptoeing around each other for the entire time they've been here. Killua can't be thrilled about the possibility of his best friend in the world and the only sibling he can tolerate getting together.
Is this why Killua has been so determined to have Kurapika all to himself? Is he afraid of losing yet another person he cares about? Though Leorio can understand this logic, he would never consent to anyone claiming Kurapika to the exclusion of everyone else. Ever.
Kurapika is Leorio's best friend. Kurapika is Leorio's, period.
Leorio gets up from the bed. Since he wants to give Gon the space to converse freely with Alluka, he signals that he's heading out of the room. Gon gives him a thumbs-up.
It's about time for Leorio to acquaint himself with the bar at this resort. The beers by the bonfire weren't enough. Not even close. On a depressing evening like this, what he needs is to get blackout drunk.