Chapter Four: The Sorting
Michael ran to the chair and sat quickly to hide his nerves. He kept his eyes shut so he could keep up the pretense that he was not being watched by a few hundred strangers.
The hat came down and a voice came up.
My, my, the hat's voice whispered, you are quite the devious one, aren't you!
Michael opened his mouth and asked aloud, "Why is your accent so snooty?"
There was a chuckle from the concourse of students, before hurried shushing.
Well, you could say it's a mixture of a millennium of practice and personal preference really.
Now you are also prone to a little bit of violence.
"Not my fault if someone wants to pick a fight." Michael insisted.
You've got a fine memory and a healthy love of books to match, but I can see here that you don't want Ravenclaw.
"Not even a little." Michael agreed.
And a mite of ambition, which, if properly encouraged, could lead to great things, yes. Great things.
"What do you mean by tha- "
"SLYTHERIN!"
Michael flashed back to the train and the guy he knocked over. That guy was the captain or something over there in Slytherin.
"Phew!" He loudly proclaimed, "Thank goodness it wasn't Ravenclaw!"
There was mostly silence as word spread that the new Slytherin was muggleborn and Michael took his seat, admiring his shiny robe colors.
Whispers filled the hall as he sat next to Anthony, and called him "Double A."
McGonagall turned to call the next name but flinched as she saw the other boy already sitting on the stool. She had not seen or heard any indication that he had moved.
"Me next!" Nathaniel demanded.
McGonagall called out the name regardless and the rude, blond boy from earlier shoved Alex saying, "He's not your twin, you liar!"
Nathaniel once again demanded the hat be placed as he wriggled in the seat waiting as patiently as he could. Which wasn't much.
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Hmmmm, you're just as annoying as the Weasley twins. The hat informed Nathaniel.
"Rude." Nathaniel murmured.
Truth. The hat stated before continuing.
You are hardworking and loyal above all else.
"What?" Nathaniel asked.
You hate lying very much, preferring everybody be honest. I can see…My Little Pony?
Nathaniel got excited and quickly began to give the hat an entire synopsis of the show through sheer thought alone.
Twelve minutes later, the hat finally interrupted him, declaring, "No question about it! HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Oh yeah, I did tell that jerk girl I was going to Hufflepuff, I totally forgot! Thanks hat!" Nathaniel said, "I'll tell you the rest next time!"
Please don't, came the reply before it came off his head.
Not knowing why exactly every student looked a mixture of fear and wonder, he sat next to Tessa, pushing another student out of the seat so he could claim it. She had been sitting on the seat right next to the end and the student he pushed landed on the unforgiving ground. One unnamed Cedric Diggory stood up to scold the child, but another Puff pulled him back down.
Rumors of a dark Hufflepuff and dragon lord echoed through the tables.
Nathaniel and Michael were blissfully unaware.
Around fifteen minutes later, Alex was sent to Gryffindor. Sometime after that, the twins had already stopped paying attention, the last student, Zachary Zackson, was sorted into Ravenclaw.
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The old Gandalf-like man stood up and spoke, "How unique that our hat has declined to sing this year. I do suppose that it fits seeing as we have such a unique batch of fresh students to match!"
His point was punctuated by the meaty smack of a student punching himself under the chin.
"Before we eat, I would like to put out that the forbidden forest is still indeed forbidden and Filch would like to remind the students that magic is not permitted in the halls. I do believe that with such hungry bellies it would be a shame to put off eating any longer, so I shall only say a few words."
The hall was silent for a moment before he continued, "A few words!" Then he sat down.
And with that, the tables were filled with platters of food and drink.
Nathaniel asked Tessa to wait a moment as he grabbed Alex, and Michael seeing this, dragged Anthony over to the Hufflepuff table. Suddenly, before they could get to eating, screams started up along with chuckles at the younger students.
From the wall behind the teacher's long table, a massive host of GHOSTS filtered through, most in deep conversation with each other. The twins gave each other a look, they would have to look into that another time. They were hungry right now and nothing was going to stop them from filling themselves first.
The friends and random child ate with gusto and little in the way of conversation.
Anthony was very confused but waited a few minutes before returning to his table. The twins ate almost nonstop, absorbing what everybody around them was saying for the first ten minutes before Nathaniel gave Michael a signal, and told him to eavesdrop on the other Slytherins.
"I've got this table handled." He explained.
Michael nodded sagely and set off with an armful of food.
Alex excused himself, explaining that he wanted to make more friends in his own house before he lost the opportunity to.
Tessa stuck next to Nathaniel until another girl from a year or two up invited her to hang out with another friend group for the feast.
She looked questioningly at Nathaniel who just waved her off, he wasn't going to get in the way of his friends making friends and gave her a smile as she left it show it was alright.
He had his food to accompany him. And other people's food, as he started mooching off of nearby plates whenever somebody looked away from their meal.
He fancied himself rather stealthy.
The nearby Hufflepuffs made an attempt to make small talk, which at first, he joined, but his talk of dragons and dungeons was too frightening for them to follow, and he found himself gradually talking less and less until he just ate and listened.
"Why do you keep sniffing everything before you eat it?" The boy to his left asked.
"If I don't like the smell, I don't trust it."
Nathaniel replied before pushing a chunk of smelly cheese far away from him.
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"So, what are we talking about?" Michael asked as he dumped his armful of food into his plate and tucking in.
The Slytherins ignored him, but he was insistent.
"Come on guys," He said finally, "You're not very subtle. If you want to insist on being silent, I guess I'll just have to take your food."
The people around him continued to ignore him, except this time they would shoot glares at him, promising future pain.
Michael returned the glares and stole food from their plates in retaliation.
Conversation started up again, but Michael didn't stop taking food from nearby plates.
The person two seats to his left turned away to talk directly with her neighbor, and Michael took the opportunity to get some answers.
"Why are we giving that new Slytherin the silent treatment again?" He asked using a weird tone of voice so she wouldn't immediately identify him.
Before she could turn around and realize, she had already answered, "Because he's muggleborn you dimwit."
Then as she finished turning her head, she froze up, realizing she had been tricked.
Laughing triumphantly, Michael stuck a carrot in his mouth and pretended to smoke it like a cigarette.
Nobody got the joke.
Michael was starting to dislike this place.
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Nathaniel kept sneaking glances at Michael's table during the meal. He didn't like the way his twin's housemates were looking at him. While he was doing this, his own Hufflepuff housemates were giving him glances of their own. Rumors spread faster than light in Hogwarts and nobody had missed the ones about this new pair of twins. One fought dragons? And the other sent them?
Unbelievable! Yet…
Maybe, just maybe.
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The twins were disappointed to find out that the food disappeared at the end of dinner, preventing them from taking leftovers to eat later. That didn't stop them from trying though.
They both did their best to shout over everybody else during the song. They wanted their tune to become the master tune. They didn't succeed.
Once the song was over, Professor Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement.
"First, I know you are all wondering who will be taking on the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. Last year was an unfortunate mishap, and I hope that Professor Milvany would have appreciated the donation to St Mungo's in his name. May he rest in peace. On that note, the chimaera issue HAS been resolved."
After some light applause he continued.
"This year, Professor Gina Figglestone will be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. Also, I must profess." He said, "I have not heard of such an excellent idea in many years in my interim as Headmaster of Hogwarts. We will now be offering a class on sword fighting, although other weapons will be permitted, taught also by Professor Figglestone. You may request to join the class by speaking to your Head of House. Goodnight."
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As one, the houses stood up to head to their respective dormitories, Michael and Nathaniel found themselves heading in the same general direction. Down.
The boys noticed that the pictures on the walls were ALIVE!
It didn't take long for them to make eye contact. They huddled together as they followed the groups.
Michael whispered, "You take pictures, I take ghosts?"
Nathaniel tried bargaining but relented quickly, "Fine, I'll take the pictures, you get to talk to ancient spirits of untold power."
"Hey, maybe the pictures have spirits too."
"You know dang well they're probably just animated."
"I guess we'll see then!" Michael ended.
The two houses split up and the twins promised to see each other in the morning.
Michael looked around for any ghosts while Nathaniel just started taking small pictures off the walls to take with him.
Michael discovered the bloody baron floating alongside his house as they walked and struck up a conversation.
Nathaniel was running out of room to stick pictures and he started passing some around to his housemates to carry for him. Most of the pictures were asleep but the ones that weren't kept demanding to be out back into place, Nathaniel only responded, "All in due time." Mysteriously.
His fellow Hufflepuffs shuddered at the ominous tone. Except for Tessa, she played dungeons and dragons before and it sounded like he was a natural DM.
The other muggleborn who didn't know him had already fallen victim to rumors and followed in silence.
Michael was relentless. In both his pestering questions and his grip on Anthony Anthony. Both felt like he was dragging them, but only one of them actually were.
"Tell me literally everything you know about ghosts." He said again to the menacing looking apparition.
"What are you?" Nathaniel asked another picture, and when this one too did not give him a satisfying answer, he tucked it under his arm and pulled down another picture.
"How exactly did you die?" Michael asked, startling the entire Slytherin house around him.
The picture scoffed at Nathaniel's insensitive and consistent questions and he chucked it over his shoulder for another Hufflepuff to hold.
His older housemates had started to trail behind him waiting to catch any that he threw. They turned a corner, and the prefect opened the door for them, into their dorm rooms and living area.
"This place looks cozy." Nathaniel said, tossing another picture behind him.
"Stop moving!" Michael called out to the bloody baron. The ghost was starting to avoid him, and his fellow housemates were starting to wish that their dormitory was a lot closer.
"You still haven't answered any of my questions!" He yelled, "How does someone become a ghost?"
Nathaniel went to bed after ordering the pictures to stay quiet after he stuffed them under his bed. He went to reading despite the wails of the ancient witch and wizard pictures.
Michael having given up after the baron floated through the ceiling, started asking the older Slytherin's the same questions.
None of them were conclusive or satisfying.
Michael was tired and ready to go to sleep when the door opened and Professor Snape entered the dormitory.
The Slytherin's instantly quieted and listened to what he was going to say.
Professor Snape looked over the new students and gave Michael a particularly nasty sneer. Michael stared directly at him, then he cracked his neck viciously, emitting loud popping noises. Professor Snape had no outward reaction but inside he was rather annoyed. Then Michael started cracking his back loudly, then his knuckles, then his elbows, shoulders, knees, and toes.
Eventually Professor Snape hit him with a silencing charm, and he continued cracking with no noise.
Each student felt his cold, black eyes on them before he spoke.
"I am Professor Snape, Head of Slytherin House. Welcome." He said softly, "To Slytherin. We are the house of the clever and ambitious. There will be no rule breaking, disrespect of professors, fighting with other Slytherins, or failing of any classes. You are a Slytherin, act like it."
And with that, the potions master turned, his robes billowing around him, and left the dormitory.
With the head of the house gone, Marcus Flint took the opportunity to establish exactly who was in charge here.
"Alright firsties." The boy in need of a dentist said, stepping in front of them with two other boys just as burly as he was.
"What our dear head of house forgot to mention was that on the first night, one of us has to prove that we're the boss around here."
He pointed his wand at Michael, "Like so."
And shot a jet of white light at him.
Michael yelped out in pain, it felt like a hornet's sting!
Marcus hit him several more times before he stopped, "I think you've learned your lesson, mudblood."
"That's not fair at all, I haven't learned any magic yet!" Michael snarled. Before casting the one spell he successfully managed to cast.
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
The older students jumped back in surprise as…something completely different happened.
He didn't cast any spell from his wand. When Marcus flew backwards into a couch, flipping it over, it was accidental magic.
"That's not what happened last time." Michael murmured to himself, looking at his wand.
Then he went down under a massive barrage of painful but harmless hexes and jinxes from Marcus's friends.
Marcus stood back up towering over the prone child.
"How dare you filthy mudblood attack me!" He shouted, "I win, you lose!"
Getting the feeling that Marcus wanted an apology, Michael stood up, and with a heavily exaggerated bow, he loudly declared, "I am so sorry you feel this way my lord! My apologies can NOT be overstated!"
I'm SO getting you back for this. Michael thought.
"Heh." Marcus smirked. This was even easier than last year. Only one out of line and he already submitted to my authority.
Michael walked to his dorm room, found his bed, and opened a book to find out why Expecto Patronum didn't turn Marcus into a tiny dragon.
The results were surprising.