Chapter 18: Beneath Your Beautiful

ARTIE

Dates with Quinn were becoming increasingly more difficult for Artie to plan.

He supposed that was to be expected when you've been friends with your significant other for what feels like nine million years. It seemed like they'd already been everywhere and done everything together back when they were 'just friends'. Artie knew that he didn't have to meticulously plan out every moment that they spent together, but as somebody who already had most of his days scheduled out to a T, it was difficult for him to sit back and just see where the wind took them. He liked being in control.

I still want to surprise her sometime by taking her out to sing karaoke, Artie thought to himself. So that we can finally sing our duet. But he still needed time to plan that one out since he intended for that date to be nothing short of perfect.

As luck would have it though, Artie was fresh out of ideas on Saturday afternoon when he gave up researching potential colleges he'd like to apply to and, instead, called Quinn to see if she'd like to hang out. Griffin, Ella, Sebastian, and Griff's girlfriend Hadley were spending the day riding the rollercoasters over at Cedar Point, which Artie had instantly opted out of. Mid-July in the midwest was no joke, so Artie knew that– for the sake of himself and the half of his body that wasn't able to properly sweat to cool down– he'd better spend his day indoors in front of an air conditioner. Amusement parks just didn't hold the excitement for him anymore that they once did. Plus, he'd rather spend his time with Quinn anyways.

"Want to come over here?" Quinn had asked when he'd called to see what she was up to. "I'm looking after Sasha and Leo for the afternoon, but they usually do their own thing. I've just gotta be here to make sure they don't, like, run into traffic or jump off the roof or anything." When he was silent for a few too many moments on the other end of the line, she added: "I have central cooling and a DVD player here, too, you know."

That last comment had gotten an amused chuckle out of him, and so he loaded up into his car and drove across town to Quinn's mom's place. They usually hung out at Artie's– despite the constant interruptions from his siblings who seemed to be always around– because it was easier in terms of accessibility and convenience on his end. He didn't want to be the deciding factor for everything, though, so he was more than happy to drive over to Quinn's this time.

He pulled into the U-shaped driveway of her towering, two-story home made of white brick. The Fabrays lived in one of the fancier neighborhoods in Lima, and when her parents had divorced two years ago, her dad moved out and her mom got to keep their house.

After assembling his chair, transferring into it, and making his way up the annoying couple of stairs that led to the landing in front of the door (thanks to the iron railing that ran alongside the stairs, he was able to use that superhuman upper body strength of his to pull himself up, one by one), Artie rang the doorbell. A moment later, a school-aged girl with an eye-catching pink bow in her curly, blonde hair answered the door.

"Hi," said Artie brightly, in his best kid-friendly tone. "You must be Sasha. I'm Artie. We haven't really met before, but I'm a friend of Quinn's."

"Oh. Hi," the young girl replied, before calling over her shoulder, "Quinn, your friend is here!"

"Artie!" Quinn greeted him as she rounded the corner and joined the young girl in the home's grand foyer. "Glad you could make it. Come in!" She took the door from Sasha and held it open for him to roll through. "I see you've met Sasha."

"I have," Artie nodded, popping a wheelie to roll over the lip in the door frame. "How old are you, Sasha?" He knew that the most effective way to win over kids was to ask them easy questions about themselves. Make them feel important.

"Ten," she answered, her gaze flickering up and down between making eye contact with his face and taking in his chair. Artie didn't mind. It was honestly kind of adorable.

"Nice," Artie replied. "Ten's a good age. So you just finished, what, fourth grade?"

Sasha nodded again just as a blonde boy–her brother– appeared by her side.

"And, Artie, this is Leo," Quinn said, placing her hand on the boy's shoulder. "He's eleven."

"Nice to meet you, Leo," Artie said, sticking out his hand to the younger boy who also took a moment to curiously study Artie's chair. Leo shook Artie's hand politely before glancing up to look between the two teenagers inquisitively.

"Is he your boyfriend, Quinn?"

Quinn and Artie could both laugh at his blunt question.

"Yes," Quinn giggled. "He is."

The towheaded children's eyes widened as they giggled together before making an abundance of kissing noises that were, Artie guessed, meant to tease them. "Okay, that's enough," Quinn laughed after a moment, ruffling the boy's hair. "Run along now, you two." They did as they were told, scampering off to the backyard to play and leaving Artie and Quinn to themselves.

Artie had always liked kids and their short attention spans. Aside from a few innocent glances at his chair, they didn't dwell on anything different about him. They just accepted it. It was his fellow teenagers and adults, Artie had found, that had a harder time with things like that.

"Don't you usually go to your dad's on the weekends?" Quinn asked as she led him into one of the sitting rooms off of the home's entryway. She took a seat on the pristine white couch and he joined her, locking his wheels in place before making the transfer. Right in front of them was a big bay window that had a view of where the two kids were swinging on a swing set in the backyard.

"Yeah," Artie replied, adjusting his legs as he got settled. "The team's away in Texas this weekend, though, so he's traveling."

"Ah, I see," she nodded. "I've only been to one Indians game, you know. I was five, and my dad said that I slept in his lap through the whole thing. He told me that he didn't want anything exciting to happen on the field because he didn't want the crowd to cheer and wake me up."

Artie watched a flicker of sadness wash across her face as she recalled that story. He knew that anything regarding Russell Fabray was a very sore subject for her.

"I'm actually going to my dad's place next weekend," she told Artie, surprising him by continuing to talk about her father.

"Really?"

"Yeah. He's started seeing someone new, I guess." She shrugged. "He's not with that 'tattooed freak' that he cheated on my mom with anymore. He wants me to meet this new lady, I guess." She heaved an audible sigh, and Artie took that moment to reach out and cover her hand with his to show his support.

Quinn doesn't see her father as routinely as Artie sees his, Artie knew that much. They both had divorced parents, sure, but the circumstances that had caused their parents to separate couldn't have been more different. Artie's parents' divorce had always been civil. Above all else, they cared about the well-being of their children and had always put them first. Hers… had been a different story. There had been infidelity throughout their marriage, and once Quinn found out she was pregnant her sophomore year, her father– the dominant one in the household– kicked her out. Quinn spent the rest of the school year bouncing around the houses of some of the other kids from Glee. When her mother eventually came to her senses and invited her back home, Quinn had very warily accepted.

Artie knew that it was uncomfortable for Quinn to be living here with her mother, her mother's new boyfriend, and his kids. He knew that she was just waiting for the chance to get as far away from them all as possible. Consequentially, Artie also wasn't sure how Quinn would feel about spending the whole weekend at her dad's place.

"Are you okay with that?" he wondered.

"I mean, I haven't totally forgiven him for the way he treated me back then, if that's what you mean," she laughed bitterly.

"No, of course not. And you shouldn't. That was–"

"And, if I'm being honest, I still haven't forgiven my mom for her part in all of that either," Quinn continued, hardly taking the time to register Artie's words of validation. "And now she has her own live-in boyfriend, who I'm not sure cares about me all that much, anyway. I'm basically just a free babysitter for them!" She shook her head. "I guess it's just always in the back of my mind that at any moment they can change their mind and throw me out with nowhere else to go."

Artie swallowed the painful lump that had formed in his throat upon hearing that. His heart broke for her, that she felt so unvalued by her own family and that she felt like their love was conditional. And it shattered him even more when he remembered that these fears of hers weren't unfounded– all of this had happened to her before and could very well happen again. He squeezed her hand.

"Well, if that ever happens, you're always welcome at my place," Artie assured her. "Sure, it's a little crowded with all of us kids, but Ella's room is big enough to share. We could, like, exchange her queen-sized bed for two twins. Or, like, bunk beds or something."

It worked. He'd gotten Quinn to smile. "That's a really sweet offer, Artie, thank you. But soon, I won't even have to worry about living with them. I'll be in New Haven, and have my own space and my own dorm– well, one that I'll be sharing with a roommate, but still. I'll be so far away from my parents that I won't even have to think about them until Thanksgiving."

There it was again. The constant reminder of Quinn's impending departure. He was happy for her– that she'd be able to distance herself from the family that had turned their backs on her time and time again– but the reminder that she was leaving stung. It was like a ticking time bomb, letting Artie know exactly how much time he had left before his life would explode.

"That's the day I'm waiting for," Quinn said without taking a moment to read the expression on Artie's face. "When I'll be able to leave and never look back."

I hope you'll look back, Artie silently pleaded. Please look back. Don't leave me behind. He couldn't bear to be left behind by her again.

"You'll get through it," Artie settled on telling her, those thoughts continuing to race through his mind. "You always do. Ever since we were kids."

Quinn smiled softly at him, and he knew that she was remembering it all too. Thirteen years had passed so quickly, and yet, Artie could recall every detail.

Lucy Fabray had been in his Kindergarten class. She was kind of on the chubbier side, with light brown hair and glasses like his. They'd attended a private nursery school together, but they'd ended up going their separate ways for elementary school. Artie had a good memory, though. That was why, when he got to high school and tested into an honors history class intended for the students in the grade above him, and he met the school's head cheerleader, Quinn Fabray, he knew who she was. And she knew him, too.

As reunited classmates, they now had a mutual understanding of one another's past lives– the chubby girl and the… well, able-bodied boy– but they shared that solidarity in silence. As a result, she'd always been kind to him, even before Glee Club came into the picture and she was still the school's head bitch in charge. Even when it could have hurt her reputation to be sweet to the kid in the wheelchair, she still was. Artie had always held that fact close to his heart.

"You know," he said thoughtfully, cocking his head to the side. "I don't think I've ever told any of our friends how long we've known each other."

"Why not?" she wondered, and in return, he gave her a look that said, 'Seriously?'.

"Um, because you were you and I was me?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You were popular, captain of the Cheerios, and dating the quarterback, and I was a nerd in the AV Club who had pull with the jazz band," Artie said as if it were obvious. "Doesn't exactly scream 'cool'." Quinn narrowed her eyes at him, trying to see if he was being deceitful. "Hey, I'd kept it quiet out of respect for you! You and your status. Even then I knew what the social hierarchy was like at McKinley High. It's eat or be eaten. And you were at the top. I wasn't gonna ruin that for you by linking the two of us in public."

He thought she probably didn't want their history broadcasted everywhere, so he hadn't said anything. Not even Tina, who loved to gossip, knew when the most popular girl in school was coming over to his house to study the battles of World War II.

When she didn't reply, Artie dared to ask, "Why? Did you tell anyone?"

"As a matter of fact, I did," she told him, sticking her nose in the air. He knew she wasn't actually bothered by any of this, but now she'd made him curious.

"Who?"

"Finn," she said simply. "It was the beginning of my sophomore year, and he had told me about what happened that day with you and Puck… and-and the…"

"The port-a-potty?"

"Yes," she continued. "He took you home afterward, right?"

Artie nodded. Neither boy had a car, so Finn had pushed Artie's chair all the way back to his house, where he'd promptly knocked on the door and explained everything to Artie's mom before apologizing to her. Artie had never been more relieved– yet, also mortified– in his entire life than he was that afternoon.

"Well, he came back all upset about it, and I told him everything. Well, not everything. Not about… my past."

Quinn had always been protective of her past– first with Lucy, and now with Beth. Artie knew all too well what that was like. They both had a slew of cards they'd been dealt at such young ages that had transformed them into the people they were today. But just because they'd both gone through these very public changes to their lives and identities didn't mean that they liked to talk about them. Some things remained private, even to those who knew them best.

"But I told him that I knew you," Quinn continued. "Well, sort of. I said I'd gone to school with you once, and that it was before you were in the chair." Artie hung onto her every word. He was dumbfounded. How had he never known any of this before? "And then history class happened, and then we got paired for that ballad assignment in Glee Club, and it just felt like fate had made us friends in the end."

"Well, if I had known you'd already gone around telling people, I wouldn't have been so relieved once Glee Club took off that I didn't have to keep our friendship underground anymore!" Artie laughed. "Even the next year when Zizes entered that particularly heated race for Prom Queen and she'd plastered the school with posters of your middle school portrait, I put on an Oscar-worthy performance pretending that I was as shocked as everyone else!"

"Oh, please, Artie." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Don't remind me of that."

He never told anyone that he'd actually known Lucy, and she really wasn't all that different from the Quinn of today. Not in personality, at least. But it was also true that very few people knew Quinn the way he did. And part of him liked it that way.

"For whatever it's worth, I still thought you looked beautiful," he told her.

"There's no way you thought that, but thank you for saying so anyway," Quinn replied, stealing a quick kiss.

"It's true!" he insisted, his heart fluttering from their brief closeness. "You know that I've always thought highly of you. Even before the nose job, and the dye job, and the weight loss. Even… even when you didn't make the best decisions."

The instant that last part had come out of his big, fat mouth, Artie knew he'd taken a risk– and a big one, at that.

This past year had been pretty rough on Quinn. She'd all but cut off her Glee friends last summer, gotten mixed up with The Skanks, and then had an identity crisis that caused her to feel the need to try and find a way to get custody of Beth. She'd pulled out all the stops– planting a vial of Botulinum toxin in Ms. Corcoran's bathroom, books on baby sacrifice in her bookcase, and hot sauce in her cabinet before calling Child Protective Services, trying to get Ms. Corcoran fired for having a relationship with Puck… The Quinn that Artie had always known wasn't like this. He didn't understand what had gotten into her, and it upset him to be left so in the dark. He used to be the person she'd confide things in, and after months of radio silence and watching her self-destruct from afar, Artie was left hurt and confused. Throughout it all, he'd hoped that Quinn knew he would still be there for her when she needed him.

And she did.

When it all caught up to her and Quinn knew that she wanted to make a change, he'd ended up being the first person she called. Artie had been a listening ear, and he was glad to see that she'd taken his advice to heart and turned her life around. Despite her Skank phase causing her to fall to number two in the senior class ranking (making Mike Chang the Valedictorian of their class), Artie knew that the second half of senior year had been exponentially better for Quinn. She'd even reconciled with Shelby and she allowed Quinn to have a relationship with Beth again.

And now, here Artie and Quinn were. Dating, sitting on her family's couch, having this deep heart-to-heart conversation, and sharing emotions that they'd never explored together before.

"But I've always been in awe of you," Artie concluded.

"How can you say that?" Quinn asked, seemingly disgusted by the idea that anybody could love her despite her flaws.

"Easy. You give one hundred percent of yourself in everything you do, and you always see things through to the end. You've always been the person who sticks by the ones who mean a lot to you. You don't just… show up when it's convenient," Artie told her, ticking his words off on his fingers. "And you're so loyal and protective of the ones that you love. Like, if someone were to insult one of your friends, you'd come after them with full force. I mean, I'd be scared of you if I ever crossed you like that. And whoever can look at you without seeing all of that is an idiot."

Quinn gave him a sideways look, clearly unsure of how much truth lay behind all of the compliments Artie just listed. But little did she know that not only were they true, but they'd been taken right from the collection of things he'd noticed and adored about her.

"Oh, come on. Don't give me that face," Artie told her. "I've known you for years, and by all accounts, that makes me one of the world's foremost experts on one Quinn Fabray. You've always been this strong-willed, determined girl. Even when… well, when you were Lucy."

That got a hearty laugh out of her. He knew that she probably hadn't heard that name out loud in a while, even if she thought about that version of herself every day.

"You have lost so much, Quinn," he acknowledged gently. "But it's not everything. You have so many people who love you and believe in you."

Without a word and with tears glistening in her eyes, Quinn leaned over and wrapped her arms tightly around Artie's neck, enveloping him in an emotional hug. He was momentarily stunned by her genuine gesture before he hugged her back with one arm, using the other to grip the top of the couch to keep his balance. As she buried her face in the crook of his neck, he could smell the sweet scent of lavender from her shampoo.

"Thank you," Quinn whispered into his shoulder, having yet to let go of him. "Thank you for saying that, Artie. All of it. You don't know how much I needed to hear it."

"You don't have to thank me," Artie told her, using his thumb to wipe away the mascara that had rubbed under her eyes when she'd begun to get emotional. "It's the truth." Artie only wished that Quinn could see herself the way that he does. She was beautiful, yes, but beneath her physical looks, there was so much more to her.

Things between the two of them were a tad quieter now as they sat beside one another on the couch, and… was it just Artie or was there a thick haze of sexual tension hanging in the air?!

One thing that nobody had told him but Artie had quickly noticed was that making those first moves when beginning a relationship with someone who'd been a longtime friend was awkward. The first time he went to put an arm around her shoulders while they were watching TV, the hugs that lasted just a few seconds longer than usual, the first kisses they shared… Trying to initiate anything romantically had proven to be tricky at first.

Ultimately, Griffin had been right about him and Tina– their relationship had just been, at best, friends who shared G-rated kisses sometimes. With Brittany, the Band-Aid had been ripped off right away– by her. She'd been the one to initiate everything (sometimes Artie regretted all they'd done now… but at least he'd gotten losing his virginity out of the way). With Quinn things were different. They'd always had a kind of flirty-teasing dynamic. What if he was reading too far into it and she wasn't as into him as he was her? His habit of overthinking everything until he'd run it into the ground wasn't helping anything either.

In the minutes since their conversation had ended, they'd been staring at one another, smiling bashfully. Artie's mind was racing. What should he say? Could he just go ahead and kiss her? He wanted to. He really wanted to. Artie cleared his throat, breaking the silence as his useless brain tried to figure out what to say. "Quinn, I–"

She must have been feeling the same way as him– just not nearly as coy– because she acted on her impulses just then, cutting him off with a kiss.

He'd been taken by surprise, which she must have sensed because just as quickly as she'd leaned in, she pulled away.

"Wa-was that okay?" she asked, clearly worried that she'd gotten something wrong.

The ability to verbally reply appeared to have left him, so he just nodded before leaning back in to reciprocate the action. Artie's stomach filled with a swarm of butterflies as he pressed his lips to Quinn's, tasting her sweet lip gloss. While it was in the back of his mind, Artie didn't even care that at any moment, a ten-year-old or eleven-year-old could walk in on them very publicly making out on the living room couch. He was just soaking up this moment spent with her.

"You're a good kisser," Quinn breathily told him when they'd come up for air, causing him to smile into their next kiss.

"Ha," he replied, keeping his response short, not wanting to take his mouth away from Quinn's for longer than he needed to. "Thanks. You too."

Without separating their lips, Quinn scooted her body nearer to him on the couch, and he welcomed her closer and closer until she was practically on top of him. Following his instincts and not sparing it much of a thought, Artie's hands naturally found their way to her waist, and after a moment of them resting there, Quinn reached for his wrists, guiding his hands under her shirt. Artie was pleasantly surprised to find that she was not nearly as conservative as he was when it came to being intimate, but that didn't bother him. He was prepared to follow her lead.

Okay, now he was beginning to stress a little bit about the kids walking in on her straddling him in the sitting room. But it was a minor fret (well, as minor of a fret that a perpetual worrier like him could have, anyway) that was overpowered by his feelings for Quinn. He'd always felt safe with her, and the comfort he was feeling allowed him to let his guard down, which had never been the easiest thing for him to do.

"I love you," she told him the next time their lips parted.

Artie paused. They hadn't gotten this far in their relationship just yet. Did she mean that? Or was she just saying that because that's what you were supposed to tell somebody when you're several minutes into a makeout session? Those three words weren't something that Artie threw around lightly, but he did mean them with Quinn. And based on the way that she was looking into his eyes right now, he guessed she meant them, too.

"I love you, too."

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thank you so much to those who have been consistently reading and reviewing! Your support means the world to me! If you are reading along and have not left a review yet (or maybe not in a while), please consider sounding off below. I'd love to hear your thoughts and get a head count on who's still out there reading! Also, if you haven't been getting chapter alert emails, make sure you have that enabled in your account settings! It resets itself to default every six months.

xo, QA