Chapter 60: Night Drivers

Well, it's been a few days, journal. I haven't been writing in you because there's been literally nothing worth writing about. See, since he had access to the more complete maps available in Newtopia, Hop Pop was able to plot a course back to Wartwood that was much quicker, much safer… and much, much more boring. No outlaw gangs or ancient-but-surprisingly-high-tech ruins, no rogue theater troupes or sinister museum curators, just a whole lotta empty landscapes.

[drawing of empty landscape]

Yep, that's pretty much it

The only danger has been Bessie going out of control. Because I fell asleep at the reigns… of boredom.

And exhaustion. Boredom and exhaustion.

Hop Pop is determined to make the trip back home as fast as possible, which means no stopping to rest during the day. And it's paid off, because we've made excellent time. The trip to Newtopia took almost a month, but if we play it right, we could be back in Wartwood by… tomorrow night!

In, we could probably make it there by morning if we drove through the night, but HP refuses to travel by night. Amphibia tends to get a lot more dangerous at night… and it may be haunted. HP is convinced that there's actual ghosts and stuff. A week ago I would have called him crazy, but after we ran into those… things in the castle basement… yeah, I'm not about to question anything.

Besides, I am no good right now. I can barely mustard the brainpowder to right good, much less drive.

See ya in the morning, journal.

You're not gonna believe it, but we are literally at Wartwood's outskirts!

How did we get here? Well, I couldn't tell you the details, because I was kind of asleep the whole time. All I can tell you about is some very vivid dreams.

Okay, so, first I was in this city, filled with people made out of living frozen yogurt! Bug-free frozen yogurt. I'm pretty much over not eating bugs, but only because I kind of had to be, but if I can avoid them, it's fine with me! But this city was under a curse. All the people were doomed to only taste like black licorice, the worst flavor ever! Even worse than "Eurotart", whatever that is. And to break the curse, I had to brave this temple, full of traps and stuff, where I found the Spirit of Good Flavors, who kinda looked like Domino, except she had three eyes of different colors, and she told me to "beware the Core", whatever that means. Crazy dream nonsense, probably. Anyway, at the end, there was this big feast, and I was sitting down to this big turkey which for some reason was wearing an ascot.

Anyway, I remember awakening suddenly with a jolt. Hop Pop and I were on the floor, and everything in the Fwagon was a mess, as if we'd somehow been in some kind of disaster, with Sprig and Polly nowhere to be seen. When we looked outside, somehow we were on a cliffside overlooking Wartwood. We didn't have to look too far for Sprig and Polly. They were just a few yards away, dancing around next to the statue of Old Zechariah Nettles, singing about a ghost or something before they passed out.

[drawing of the statue]

HP told me about this guy once. He used to watch over travelers outside the valley, until he was killed by a sand liger around forty years ago. Some people say his spirit still wanders the roads, protecting weary travelers from beasts, bandits, and their own stupidity. Or maybe not. Who knows? And that, as they say, is that.

Anyway, from what I can guess, Sprig and Polly decided to drive the Fwagon home while we were asleep, and something must have happened on the way because they looked seriously traumatized. Hop Pop decided to just let them sleep it off instead of giving them an earful (though I'm sure he'll come up with some kind of punishment later on. For the rest of the drive we just talked about the weird dreams we'd had. Apparently in his, he ascended to godhood? Weird.

A.N.: Short chapter, but Anne was asleep for most of it, so…

MarMarFaAnne: Yeah, there's that dramatic irony at play. Anne assumed that Marcy ha thrived in the same way she had, by forging strong connections with people, but she really didn't. I'd be fine with more of most of those shows… one kinda left a bad taste in my mouth, I won't say which.

Jose: I'm sure that's one thing she doesn't miss about Amphibia.

Next: Return to Wartwood