Chapter 70: The Second Temple

So, here we are in the Amphibian North, or as they call it, "The Cold Swamp." You know, like they call the desert the "dry swamp", and the mountains "the rocky swamp", y'know, despite being noting like a swamp. At this point, I've come to realize it's pointless to question stuff like this. Amphibia gonna Amphibia.

So, having bundled up for the journey, and having designed Joe Sparrow a special "Hop Pocket" so that HP wouldn't have to spend another terrifying flight held by his talons, we followed the light beam from the first gem to this big fancy arch, y'know, the kind of thing that screams "Here's the entrance to a temple full of harrowing trials. The theme for this one is "heart". I'm not sure exactly what that means. Maybe the whole thing is one long cardio workout?

Anyway, imagine our surprise when we stepped through the arch and there was nothing there! Just an empty stretch of tundra as far as the eye could see. We'd had no information on the temple, and no reason for any expectations, but somehow the second temple had so far still managed to not meet them.

We were considering whether to just give up and go back – maybe there was something in the archives we'd missed – when this weird little parrot-fly-thing flew past us. I'd seen it once before… back at the Bizarre Bazaar, on the shoulder of that mysterious old salamander woman with one arm… the one who seemed to be a lot more significant than she wound up being, but that I'd wound up completely forgetting about until now.

We followed the bird to a little building and there it was… a sign that read "Valeriana." Was this her main location when she wasn't running the mysterious stall full of forbidden cursed items that always disappears when you look back? I guess every business needs a home base, even one that's in a location no sane person would go to. Predictably, she was out to lunch, just as she had been at the bazaar, but we got lucky and she was just getting back.

She instantly seemed to know exactly what we were there for, and revealed that she was there to guide us to the seemingly-non-existent temple. She claimed that she belonged to some ancient order of mystics dedicated to the temples and the stones… real C&C junk. And I dunno… something about this seemed sus as heck, but given that we had absolutely nothing to go on, we really didn't have any other option but to trust her.

I began to wonder right away whether it was a good idea when she made us give up our cold weather gear in favor of these caterpillar fur coats she had. Especially since we had to climb up a frozen cliffside to get there. But the coats were pretty cozy, if a bit smelly, so I figured we roll with it. But it wasn't doing much to quell my suspicion that Valeriana was a little sketch… and the constant insults from her didn't help. Oh, did I not mention the insults? It's real fun climbing a cliff when someone's constantly shouting how slow and lazy you are! Clearly, she wasn't a member of the Order of Mystical Motivational Speakers.

Halfway up the cliff, we got attacked by this huge monster bird. Marcy claimed it was harmless, but nobody seemed to have let the bird know, because it was definitely trying to eat us.

Well, technically, not us, but the caterpillars it thought we were. The caterpillars that were its main source of food… and whose fur the coats we were wearing were made of… because someone had made us wear them. I was forced to throw my coat off the cliffside to get it to leave us alone. The rest of the trip was gonna be cold, but I could take it… better than frogs, at least.

If I didn't know better, I might've thought we had been set up.

But I did know better. I didn't think we'd been set up… I knew for a fact we were. I couldn't prove it… but that didn't mean I couldn't keep an eye on her.

We continued up the cliff, just in time for an avalanche to hit… an avalanche that ol' Valeriana seemed to be expecting. Strike two. It looked like we would be in the clear, but there was a tiny cabin in its path, and the smoke coming out of the chimney was screaming that someone was still in there, and someone had to warn them or they'd be frozen toast. I ran down there (our dear guide was totally ready to throw them under the proverbial icy bus), only to find out that the cabin was empty.

And after that… after all that… she had the nerve to tell me I'd failed. That I wasn't worthy enough to visit the temple.

And that was it. She'd spent the whole trip up berating me, judging me, criticizing every little thing I did… and I wasn't about to take it any more. Especially since at that point, I was convinced that she'd been setting me up to fail on purpose. So I let her have it. I told her exactly what I thought of her, and mad as I was, it's probably a miracle that I didn't dip into some decidedly un-Y7 language 'cause sister, I was definitely thinking some pretty salty thoughts.

And the next thing I knew, she waved her staff and suddenly we were… well, we were no longer where we were. Where we went, I couldn't begin to tell you. It was like some kind of place that was… no place. Like we were in this hazy misty place on this suspended platform. Was this the temple? Were we inside the mountain, somehow? Or was this some sort of crazy metaphysical realm that only existed in the mind? All I could tell was that, for the first time in hours, I wasn't cold.

I didn't have much time to admire the ambiance, since Valeriana immediately declared that, since I was unworthy, she was going to take the box back from me, and had her creepy parrot-bug-thing steal it out of my backpack. We started fighting over it, and she started basically throwing every single mistake I've made while I was here back in my face. Things she couldn't possibly have known. Had she been spying on me the entire time?

Well, whatever. I didn't need to listen to her telling me everything I've done wrong. I lived every mistake, and I lived through the consequences of every mistake. But worthy or not (and whether I was, who was she to make the call?) I needed the box and I wasn't going to let her have it. She charged me one last time, missed, and went over the edge, dropping her staff. Handing by her one hand, she smirked that I was stuck down there if I didn't save her, but the staff didn't seem too hard to figure out. Then her grip started to slip…

…well, I wasn't gonna let her fall, was I? I'm not, like, a jerk. She seemed surprised, and I explained that all those mistakes I made, I learned from. Because that's what mistakes are They're lessons that you teach yourself. And making them taught me that you need to own them, and learn from them.

Well, apparently those were the magic words, because… poof! Costume change! So, get this: the mountain was the temple, and everything we went through was a trial to test me for …heart? And you'd think maybe that meant compassion and self-sacrifice, but there was a twist, just like last time. The temple wasn't just testing compassion, it was testing responsibility, and by taking ownership of my mistakes I had passed. So, suddenly Valeriana's wearing white robes and telling me that she's been waiting for someone like me for a long time.

Oh frog, this isn't a "chosen one" thing, is it? I do not need that kind of pressure.

Anyhoo, she took the stone and started charging it… slowly. Very slowly. I'm no expert, but it seemed like Marcy's stone went a lot faster. I felt weird, too, like something was being drained out of me. Did it feel like this for Mars? I have to remember to ask her. Because it feels like there was a lot more to this than it seemed.

So, while I was standing there, awkwardly waiting in silence, I heard someone had screamed and I remembered I had left Marcy and the Plantars alone in the middle of a frozen mountain and who knows what could be happening to them? I demanded Valeriana take us back, and… they'd just been watching cat videos on Marcy's phone. What was the screaming for? Who does that?

Anyway, the stone was blue again, so it looks like whatever was supposed to happen happened, so it all worked out. I think. Anyway, I'm too exhausted to care right now.

Onward to the third temple! In like, a few days. Right now I have a date with a fire, a warm blanket, and a mug of hot chocopede juice.

A.N.:

Jose: Thanks!

Gloyd: Molly might be a little too much sugar for Anne's tastes. And to be fair, we only saw Marcy for about two seconds before "Marcy at the Gates", so it's pretty hard to extrapolate someone's entire personality from that.

Fickleness: We'll see Sasha and the resistance next chapter.

Ashley: It just seemed like they were setting up something that had no payoff. Hope you enjoyed my take on "The Second Temple!"

Next: Introducing… the Marsh Brothers!