Chapter 73: The Third Temple

Well, here goes nothing. We're at the third and final temple, in the heart of an actual volcano (I'm honestly surprised they don't call it "the explodey swamp" given the usual naming conventions around here.

Naturally, the place has a big impressive door, but something's… off about things here. Namely, the inscriptions, when Marcy translated them, sound like they were written by some kind of Malibu gym bro. "List to enter, brah?" Seriously? Did gym bro culture actually exist in thousands-of-years-ago Amphibia? To be honest, it feels like sometimes, this whole place is messing with me.

Anyway, the pattern so far has been three trials in each temple (for me, it was the cardinal, the avalanche, and Valeriana herself), so assuming that things were the same here, and knowing that the theme of this place is "strength", it looked like the first challenge was getting inside at all.

Luckily, we had ourselves our own little cheat code for this challenge: a big metal toddler named Frobo! He was easily able to lift the door so we could get in. One challenge down! This place would have been a breeze if we could have taken him inside, but Marcy's concerned that the heat inside could damage his circuits. So I guess its up to us meat puppets to finish this one.

Huh. I've got this weird sense that someone else is here, but when I looked back just now, I didn't see anyone. Maybe I'm just getting paranoid…

Frog damn, it's hot in here!

Yeah, I know, volcano, hot, quelle surprise, But I was totally not prepared for it. And if you think I wasn't ready for it, you should see the Plantars! They look like raisins with arms and legs… or in Polly's case, just raisins. It might have been a mistake to bring them along. It's a bit better for us humans… being from LA, we're used to dry heat. But still, I have a feeling we do not want to stay in here too long.

Second challenge, and let me tell you, this place was not playing around Here's the setup: you've got this small land bridge in the middle, and all around, boiling lava. Lava with giant killer armored worm-things in it. There was a convenient box of sledgehammers in the room for us to fight them off with. Add when I say "convenient", I mean that they were there in the room with us, not that they were in any way useful. The things weighed a ton. Marcy could barely even budge hers, let alone lift it, and forget about the Plantars. They were in absolutely no condition to use those things. And… I don't know if it was just the heat messing with me, but I could have sworn there was somehow more gravity in the room. Right then, I was feeling reeeeeeally glad I'd passed on the heavy armor yesterday. Imagine having to go through this lace in one of those things!

Not that I was doing much better like this. I was baking alive, surrounded by monster worms, with a weapon I could barely use, and nobody else was strong enough to help me.

And then out of nowhere… she was back.

And what an entrance! She leaps out of seemingly nowhere and slices a worm straight down the middle!

In case you missed it I'm talking about Sasha.

And while my feelings are still a bit… complicated, I can honestly say that I'd never been so relieved to see anyone in my entire life. Happy… well, I wouldn't go that far, but, yeah, "relieved" would be how I'd put it. And… I hate to admit it, but watching her fight was just… wow. Hammer in one hand, sword in the other, and moving like she weighed nothing. I don't know what she's been doing, or how she's been training, but it's really paid off for her. Dang, is it warmer in here? …yeah, of course it's warmer in here, it's a ding-dang volcano, what a stupid question. Totally explains it.

Of course, Marcy wasn't there for all the drama, so she was over the moons to see her. Me… well, I was glad that we weren't going to have to face this alone, but that didn't mean she entirely had my trust. Especially since she'd brought along Grime. Last time I saw him, he was giving me a death glare for toppling his tower and having the unmitigated gall to stop him from feeding my Hop Pop to a giant plant monster. How dare I, right? At least the heat's got him all raisined up too. How do you like it, jerkface?

So, once I'd watched them take out the lava worms like they were freakin' nothing, Sasha did what I thought she'd never do… she… apologized.

I have never, ever seen Sasha apologize for anything.

She'd told us that after the tower was destroyed, Newtopia had stripped Grime of his rank and they'd had to go on the run, and all this time they'd been trying to find us so she could say I'm sorry. It would explain why they're here, and… I want to believe it's true. I want it so much. You have no idea how much I want everything between us to- I almost wrote "go back to normal" there, but I'm not sure they can go back to normal. I'm not the same person I used to be. I've changed. We all have.

But that was something to think about later. Right now, our priority was to finish the temple and get the third stone charged. And if the worms were the second challenge, there would still be one more… and it would likely be the hardest one yet.

…or not.

I almost did a cartoon double-take when I saw that the next challenge was just… lifting a barbell. Sure, the whole temple so far seemed like it had been designed by gymbro meatheads, but… it couldn't be this easy, could it? And yet, when Sasha easily lifted the thing and the door to the next room opened, a tiny part of me wondered if, maybe, that was it. Maybe it really was that simple.

The much, much bigger part of me knew it wouldn't be. And that part shouted "Ha! Yes! In your face!" when this huge lava golem came crashing down.

It also proved that I was right about there being more gravity in here… because this thing suddenly cranked it up to the point that Sasha and I were the only ones that could even move. Everything was up to us, and yet… we weren't able to mesh. She accused me of not trusting her, and… yeah, honestly, I still didn't. I'm not sure I'll ever really be able to, no matter how much I want to. I can't just forget everything she's done… and not just here, but all the times I'd take the blame for some stunt she came up with. Like, literally the day before we got zapped her, she talked me into some crazy K-Pop dance party (and don't ask me where she got a dozen puggles), and she and Marcy got off with a slap on the wrist while I had to write a stupid essay!

…oh, crap, that was due months ago. I am in so much trouble.

While we were fighting over that, the golem cranked up the gravity to the max. That was it for me. It was pretty much all I could do at that point to not turn into a pancake. But well… right then, I knew that Sasha would be able to do it. Ever since she'd gotten here, this temple had pretty much been all her. Not too shocking… three of us, three temples, the first two had pretty much been made for Marcy and me respectively, so cleary this one was for Sasha.

But it wasn't just that. If there was anyone I knew who absolutely, positively would not stop until she got what she wanted, it was Sasha. For good or bad, she was the single most determined person I'd ever met.

But she needed to hear it from me.

And so, I talked her up. And… you ever seen DragonClaw Z?

Sasha starts taking off her armor… and when it hits the floor, it leaves craters. That stuff must have weighed a ton, and she was wearing it this whole time like it was nothing. Just how ripped had she gotten?

Ripped enough to get that golem rekt, that's how ripped!

Once he was destroyed, I knew it was over, because suddenly whatever gravity effect was in place had been shut down, and we could move again. The obligatory congratulations message lit up. Blah blah blah, strength is nothing without determination, yadda yadda, everything is actually some other thing. Honestly, I'm just glad to be done with this whole quest. Just think… we're finally on the verge of actually going home! My own bed! Hot showers! Food without bugs! Well, maybe a few bugs. Don't wanna go cold turkey right away. Mmmmm…. cold turkey…

The only thing keeping us from going home right now, in fact, is that Marcy doesn't know how to do it, but she says that King Andrias has been researching how to use the box's dimensional travel capabilities and he should have it figured out by the time we make it back to him. And… after this, I think probably would be a good idea to take a little break before we get to Newtopia.

I just hope bringing Sasha and Grime back to Wartwood won't be too awkward. I'm really putting myself on the line for them… but I really want to believe Sasha will justify my faith in her.

A.N: We're almost to the end, guys!

Jose: Don't you mean "DragonClaw Z"? :)

Gloyd: Well, as you can see, heavier armor definitely would not have been much help inside a volcano with a "final boss" who can turn gravity against you. Full armor would have been the worst call, and the only reason Sasha could handle it is because she's been training in armor for months, while Anne would have literally only been using it for a day. As for the sword, my headcanon is that it's somewhere in Anne's parents' garage.

MarMarFaAnne: I'm kinda glad we're going back to Big City, because the back half of Season 3 was pretty weak, and not just for the criminal lack of Gloria (come on, she should have at least showed up for Tilly's Cornoration) but because the new characters introduced just weren't that interesting, and we lost the whole "fish out of water" appeal of "country folks in the big city".

HOI is pretty good so far, though it's mostly one-off adventures; basically, like Phineas & Ferb, it's "Let's do a cool new thing today!" without much of a serialized plot tying it together. Then again, Gravity Falls, Amphibia, and the Owl-House were mostly episodic in their first season…

Next: The Dinner