"What about her, Barry?" Atlanta asked back.

"Well, that's just it... am I okay to speak about her?"

"Yes of course!" Atlanta frowned. She hadn't somehow implied Barry wasn't, had she?

"But we've never spoke about her?" Barry reasoned. "We talk about dad a lot. I've never heard you or anyone mention her."

"Oh. Huh." Atlanta blinked, realising Barry was right.

"Well, I didn't know your mom very well unfortunately. I don't think I ever actually spoke to her even. Not properly? So, it's not as though I don't want you to talk about her? Selena- your mother wasn't around much when I was. I was still a kid myself really when your folks got married. And my family was in a different state. and then you and your father came back west."

Barry looked crestfallen.

"But I didn't realise you thought about it that way, sorry." Atlanta added. "of course, we can talk about her."

"Can we?"

"Anytime. And you can always talk about her." Atlanta said. "I can ask father if he knows more about her. I can't promise anything, but I know they must have crossed paths a few times."

Barry seemed Satisfied.

"I'd like that. Sam has some real good stories about dad, if he has any about mom too that'd be nice..." he said. Then sighed and frowned, sounding much much older suddenly.

"There isn't a lot to talk about, I guess. I don't remember her much. My mom...I mean. well mommy. I guess? I called her mommy then. Mom, mommy. I'm not sure what to call her now?"

"You were only very young when she-." Atlanta started. Then realised she'd never asked Mrs Gertrude just how exactly they addressed the first of Barry's parents passing. "When she -?"

"When we lost her. That's what Dad called it." Barry said.

"Do you want me to say that too?"

Barry thought for a moment.

"please. It sounded nicer than saying she died I guess. and I know I was young. I wasn't even six when I lost my mom. Gee It Feels weird calling her mommy now but also calling her just mom? She wasn't really 'mom' to me. but everyone else called her that."

"That sounds real confusing." Atlanta sympathised.

Barry nodded. "It is yeah. and- and Sometimes I feel like I've forgotten her. and then I remember again. Sometimes ..." he said, his voice so small, "I think I'm forgetting dad too."

"Oh. Oh Barry."

Atlanta turned in her seat to properly face him. "Sweetheart, we can always do something to remember him by. To remember them both even if you'd like?"

Barry Nodded again. But sniffed, squeezing Finn the fish by the flippers.

"I know. Having his photo up helps? and his baseball shirt on the wall. We weren't really supposed to have them up at the orphanage, but Ms Gertrude didn't mind. I just-" He tried.

"Sometimes I forget and then I remember it again I guess and it makes me sad 'cos sometimes I really miss him! Even though I like it here, lots. Or I didn't think about him, and then I feel bad, you know?"

"I know."

"But Mommy's?" Barry lamented. "Atlanta, I don't really have anything for my mom here."

Atlanta nodded. Only an id photo of Selena Byres that wasn't very flattering. And one photo at a party where his mom' back was to the camera. A few books in a trunk she would have read to him. A service medal from her mother, a grandmother Barry had never met.

Barry continued;

"When they divorced, Mommy had her own place and was working away. Then when she died, Dad didn't like to talk about her and it made him sad. And then when I lost dad too and I had to go to the home, I wasn't allowed to bring lots and lots. They brought my clothes and books and some things. But there wasn't any other photos of mom to bring with me. Not properly."

Barry was being a very brave boy. And Captain James Byes had been a good caring father. Unfortunately, he'd also been one of these fathers who'd passed on the generational trauma of 'boys don't cry.' Something Atlanta was trying to teach big hearted Barry (and her own dad!) it was okay to do. With her handkerchief she thumbed away an escapee tear. And then with a paper tissue encouraged him to blow his nose.

Barry didn't cry, not really but his lip wobbled and he sniffed. And when Atlanta got him a glass of water Barry held it like it might contain all the answers of the world and sea.

" Dad didn't want to talk about mom." He said again quietly. "Ever."

"Yeah. Father was like that a little too when we lost my mo- ...my mother. The not talking thing. I know it's not the same but …" Atlanta sighed; wishing this was the kind of hurt that she could Kiss it better like a bump or get out the novelty band-aids to solve. But it wasn't so she had to settle for wrapping an arm around him again. "He was a good man, your father. A good person too. So was your mommy, I'm sure."

"I know. But he got rid of everything!'' Barry whined, a definite frustration and way past his bedtime tiredness and stress for the day bubbling over into actual tears this time.

Her dad would say she was 'coddling the boy '. But given the subject Atlanta wrapped Barry up in another hug. And soothed him, Barry Crying into the cuddle.

"I know. I know, it's okay." She said, and "Grief can just do things to people, Barry dear, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Do things?" Barry asked, his voice still wet and snotty. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Atlanta sighed, getting him with more paper tissues. "It makes you feel the worst. And can bring out the worst in people at. Sometimes it's like you're never going to be happy again, isn't it? Or it hits out of nowhere out of the blue at times. Father would work late and push himself too hard. And his sub-vehicles too hard. I didn't want to go to school and I didn't always remember to eat properly. And Me and father used to have some awful screaming matches? We'd both get so upset over little things-!"

"Yeah?" Barry asked as he mopped his face.

"Hmm." Atlanta started Not certain how to elaborate now. if she should. But It couldn't hurt. "One time we had such a bad row I ran off. And kept running. Off base even. Come to think of it; your father was the one who found me at a bus stop actually."

Atlanta paused, remembering the headlights and a red soaked through hoodie.

"It was raining, I was sitting there looking like a drowned rat. I had no bag, no money and no idea what to do. He drove me back then sat down with my father and got the air between us cleared."

"Really?" Barry asked. "What did my dad say?"

"Something along the lines of "what were you thinking kid? Half the site security is looking for you." and "Lets get you home before you freeze?" Atlanta smiled sadly. "And then when dad sent me to go dry off, I heard them. your dad said to mine 'don't let losing Elaine cost you Atlanta too'. I was only eighteen at the time. You'd have only been three? Four?"

"huh." Barry had been looking hopeful at the mention of his father. He wasn't put out as such but he was definitely thinking hard. "I can't imagine that. You two arguing real bad I mean. Like a fight fight? You get along so well with Sam…"

Considering it further though, Barry nodded to himself.
"But That makes sense. I used to be angry about it sometimes. After dad died. I tried to explain but I didn't feel very well either. I was angry with Mommy too."

"Angry. With your mom?" Atlanta checked.

"yeah. More sad and angry though then just cross? I kept wishing she'd come back. And thinking why didn't she come and be my mom again. even though she's gone? But even if she was mommy, Mommy would be a stranger lady to me wouldn't she? If she had come to get me? I didn't know her like I knew dad." Barry struggled.

"I'm Not sure how to put it."

"That's alright. But I think you're putting pretty well." Atlanta reassured him. Barry curled up against her again and Atlanta Settled on stroking his hair.

"I don't remember her. I only remember bits." He said drowsily.

"You were only four going five when they separated. And then she was away quite a lot I was led to believe." Atlanta reassured him. "It's okay if it's hard to remember that far back."

"yeah but How can I miss someone I don't really remember?" Barry complained. For a very young boy Barry was quite an old soul at times. Atlanta didn't have an answer for that. Other than to give him another Squeeze.

My poor baby, Atlanta thought but squashed that down replacing the narrative with "poor Barry."

"What do you remember of her?" She asked, Ideas of maybe making a scrapbook floating about her head. And when Barry made to say 'not much' again, told him. "Try saying what you can remember, Rather focusing on that rather than what you can't?"

Barry Thought very hard.

"people used to say I had her nose and her eyes." He said eventually, Pointing them out. "And they were her moms eyes too. sort of. But dad's were sort of the same colour too so some people said I looked more like him."

"You sure do. but then maybe you look like both of them?" Atlanta reasoned.

"Yeah. Yeah I like that better." Barry smiled.

"What else?" she asked.

"Well…Mom had... Really long hair." Barry said.

"Longer than Marina's?"

"err, nearly? It came to like here" Barry said, twisting around and pointing his waist. "but it was straight, not wavey. And dark. Not as black as Troy's but real dark dark brown."

It had seemed to get the ball rolling as Barry continued, "oh and We'd go get ice cream every- ...Saturday I think? In a tub. Because the cones were messy, Mom said. And I remember when I had to be in the hospital for my mouth, she stayed overnight. and helped me eat when I got better. And she used to wear BIG dangling earrings. And perfume, From a blue bottle. She liked dancing. And hosting parties. Her closet was huge! I made a den in it. There were so many dresses! lots of things in lots of colours."

"The times I did see your mother, she always looked very glamorous." Atlanta smiled. Barry agreed.

"I think she was. She dressed like someone out of your magazines, I remember that much. Dad used to say when they first met he thought she should have been a film star! I sure used to think she was!" Barry grinned. Then shifted sitting on his hands, "I don't want to... replace her, Atlanta. Or forget her."

"You don't ever have to sweetheart. No one would ask that of you." Atlanta insisted.

"I know." Barry said. Then turned his head into her shoulder. And mumbled against that. "I know."

"She was your mom. She'll always be your mommy. And I know just like your dad is. No one will ever replace her. Or Captain Byers. " Atlanta told him.

Barry nodded. And squeezed her tight as she continued. "they'll always be with you. And I bet they'd be real proud at how "

Barry was Crying a bit, Again. It was fine. Because so was Atlanta.