August 3, 1928
Secret Bunker near Berun
Tanya looked at the two unexpected intruders while she pointed her gun at them, trying to figure out how the hell they arrived so suddenly and without anyone having observed them but could not figure it out.
Instead Tanya tried to figure out what in the world they wanted with them. Did they want them dead? No, that couldn't be the case. With their ability to sneak into a base of this caliber if they wanted them dead they would already be so.
"You know it's rude to go into someone else's bunker without asking and right now you're interrupting us during an important time".
The armed men in the bunker were slowly moving away, except for Rudesdorf and Zettour, who instead remained seated in the same position. Apparently they didn't give a shit about the presence of the intruders.
"I'm sorry I didn't ask, but I regret to report that when we asked about the government the response of most soldiers was for them to try and point their guns at us."
Tanya's eyebrow twitched in response to the stress caused by these beings' lack of logic.
"We are under an invasion by people from outside the planet. Understand that a soldier who sees people outside this planet asking for the government will be seen as an enemy."
The Jedi Master seemed surprised, and Kenobi looked at him reproachfully. "I told you Master that this was a bad idea."
The Jedi Master ignored his padawan's legitimate complaint and turned his gaze back to Tanya, thinking for a second about what he was going to say.
"Then I'm sorry to interrupt you. As I said, I am here to help. I am a representative of the Jedi Order and the Republic Senate and I have come in pursuit of negotiation between both sides of this conflict."
The look of surprise on Tanya's face was only comparable to the look on her face when she first saw Being X.
"I don't think you understand. We are being invaded! This is an unequal conflict! What do you mean, negotiation between the two sides of a conflict!?" Tanya said, clearly frustrated by the terminology used. It was similar to those used by the Empire's enemies over the years in order to blame the Empire.
"Well, to be precise, we were sent to stop the invasion but we couldn't get there in time. It is now my intention to try to broker a peace agreement."
Everyone in the room was freaking out at the Jedi's chutzpah. However, the tension in the bunker gradually began to ease.
Zettour decided to start speaking,which was the first time within this discussion. Many in the room turned to look at him with interest.
"Put away your weapons! I'm afraid if they wanted us dead we'd be dead already," Zettour said loudly. Tanya looked at Zettour to confirm his intentions. He simply nodded. Tanya decided to put the gun away as she watched the unwanted visitors carefully.
"Tell me about your proposal," said Zettour. Tanya took the opportunity to rearrange the chairs, which had been scattered during the scare. She decided to sit in the one that would allow her the most reaction time in any scenario of danger.
"We have a space ship that we will use to travel to their space ship Lucrehulk in order to negotiate a peace treaty to avoid more conflict."
The conflict has already begun, Tanya thought to herself as she looked at the two humans. If she was being honest, she was glad that they were human. She knew that if they were raw allieligens her reaction would have been much more violent. Despite being a rational being in control of her own body completely, this would be impossible to do for most people in this situation. She was certain that if some insectoid or ovulate-headed bug with giant eyes had appeared instead she would have pulled the trigger along with everyone else, even if it was saying the same things these humans were.
"And you believe that you can just fly into an enemy military formation with impunity? Just go right in and force them to negotiate?" asked Zettour curiously, clearly surprised by the Jedi's proposal. It seemed unreal that such a thing could exist.
"We are protectors of peace and the galaxy respects that," Qui-Gon Jinn said, sounding as matter-of-fact as possible. Zettour looked at the invaders with raised eyebrows.
"Degurechaff, if anyone important to the regime can make it out alive and be smart enough not to make an unequal treaty within the military, I think it's you. What do you say? You want to be the first woman to set foot in space?"
It didn't sound like there were any other options, honestly. Besides, it was proven that magic can generate a habitable atmosphere for a few minutes. Our submarine mages found that out the hard way when a submarine that had an elite group on it was destroyed, which forced the mages to improvise.
"I will only accept it if I can be armed with the weapons of my choice. Including within my options the Wunderwaffe weapons."
Zettour unceremoniously stood up, approached Qui, and shook his hand. To which Qui responded with a handshake.
"I believe there is already a diplomatic delegation to send to that space ship. I do have to ask, what will happen if the Federation betrays you?"
Jinn looked at Zettour with no surprise.
"We will alert the Republic that we Jedi on a peace mission were attacked by the Federation."
"And what consequences would that have for the Federation?"
Obi-Wan interjected into the conversation. "The Republic would initiate a process of appeasement and coercive measures so that the Federation would cease and desist and be punished for their crimes."
"Understood," Zettour says, "You may leave the bunker, if possible, and have a soldier accompany you. I need to discuss something with Degurechaff.
They nodded, leaving. Zettour looked at a random soldier present. Understanding the message, the soldier marched off to follow them. Within seconds they disappeared from the view of all present.
"To me the Republic is a bunch of powerless hippie shits who have had their big business capitalists de facto take over the power of the Republic." Said Rudesdorf
"I think so too" said Zettour and Tanya at the same time.
Everyone in the room was worried in their own way. That there was a third agent who was also a relative "enemy" of the Federation was a good thing. Although, the fact that they acted as democratic fucking hippies was not to the liking of anyone in the room.
"The Type 95 was already produced in small quantities. If I carry an extra one with me I can unleash a magical atomic blast on the ship in the worst case scenario. Being a magical blast, I can simply overload the Type 95, leave it somewhere and then leave," said Tanya. She was thinking of new options on how to deal with the situation.
"It will do. Gather as much information as you can and destroy as much as you can in the case of betrayal. Most importantly, get out of there alive. I'd rather you stay alive than destroy the enemy ship," said Zettour. The relationship between Zettour and Tanya was similar to that of a grandfather with his daughter, with the exception of having military traits.
The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse was the name given to the leaders of the military faction they belonged to. The leaders were Zettour, Rudesdorf, Lehrgen and Degurechaff.
"Understood," said Degurechaff.
—-
Degurechaff looked at the ship the two humans had entered. It was consular class, though she didn't know that.
Tanya was equipped with the magic sword that was officially named "Slayer of Gods", she didn't like that name, too pompous a name for her taste. She also had a submachine gun with penetrating ammunition, the Type 95 around her neck, and finally 2 Type 95s hidden in her suit.
"And you're sure they won't destroy the ship on sight?"
Obi-Wan, who was with Degurechaff, shook his head. "No, Master Qui-Gon Jinn has communicated with Nute Gunray and he personally agreed to the negotiations."
Degurechaff nodded, looking inside the ship again. It all seemed so technological and yet so primitive. It was a strange feeling this ship gave her. As if she had seen in her previous life a Porsche 365 with flashing lights and the occasional touch of science fiction.
"We are entering the Lucrehulk" I sounded over the internal comm. Degurechaff sighed and looked at her equipment. She was sufficiently equipped to survive in the worst case scenario but the enemy technology held a certain amount of fear for her.
The ship landed, however Tanya couldn't help but think, The aliens need a translator to communicate with us. How come they can speak German?
"One question," Degurechaff said as he followed Kenobi out of the ship.
"Yes," said Kenobi, clearly in German.
"How do you know and speak our language?"
Kenobi turned to look at her for a second, then turned and continued walking.
"This planet has been under investigation by Naboo, the Republic, the Federation and the Jedi Order separately. We discovered how your language works a long time ago. My master and I learned your language for months for a future Jedi Order diplomatic mission. But the Federation beat us to it.
Naboo and the Jedi Order were two new terms to Degurechaff so she made sure to memorize them.
They must be gifted in their learning ability if they were able to learn German in months, Degurechaff thought to herself, even though it unnerved her.
"Jedi Order? Naboo?" Degurechaff asked, interested in every scrap of information she could get her hands on. Information was power and the lack of information would leave the Empire in a state similar to Dacia's, Degurechaff thought to herself.
"Naboo is the planet with which you share an orbit around the same sun. The Jedi Order is the institution to which I and the Master belong," Kenobi replied as if it were the most basic information possible. Degurechaff wanted to ask more questions, but they had already reached the exit, where the same robot as in Alsace Lorraine waited.
"-" he said in a language foreign to Tanya von Degurechaff. However Kenobi quickly understood the problem.
"Protocol droid. Speak in the local language of this planet. Both the master and I understand the language."
The protocol droid nodded and began to speak in german.
"Nute Gunray awaits you in the negotiation room. He hopes these negotiations will be more successful than the previous ones," the protocol droid said. Deugrechaff knew this was a trap, she could smell a trap from miles away. However, she had the means to survive.
The 3 individuals then began to follow the protocol droid. Walking down some corridors until they came to a room that looked like a negotiation room. The three sat down at the table.
"Nute Gunray will be here in a few minutes."
The protocol droid then departed. Closing all the hatches.
Degurechaff secretly began to overload one of the Type 95's she had. She also prepared an oxygen spell around it.
"It's amazing that on a single planet there are so many force users," Jinn said. Surprising Degurechaff.
"I don't know what you mean." said Tanya. Followed by some seconds of silence.
Jinn took advantage of the silence to look at Degurechaff. "The force is definitely strong in you. The sheer number of force users on your planet drew the attention of the Jedi Order. That's why …"
However, he was unable to finish what he was about to say when the room began to fill with some gas from four different conduits. Quickly Degurechaff, Kenobi and Jinn stood up at the same time.
"Don't breathe it. It's poisonous."
"I don't know why I knew that," Degurechaff said, seeing that there was no way out. "I hope this works," she said inwardly, pulling out the magic sword and applying magic to it, increasing its effective size to 1 meter long and 10 centimeters wide. She approached the armored door. She thrust the sword in and quickly cut a rectangle in the door. The Jedi looked on in surprise at this action. However, they quickly recovered and exited through the opening as Degurechaff stepped out.
"That's a strange laser sword," Kenobi said as he looked around to make sure no one else was coming.
"It's not a laser, it's magic. Do you know where the command center is?" Degurechaff said as she continued to overload the Type 95.
"I think so, follow me," Jinn said, knowing nothing of Degurechaff's plans. They soon came across a group of droids, which began firing their lasers. Kenobi and Jinn began to block the blasters while Degurechaff took cover and fired her submachine gun at the droids. Despite being made of iron-like materials, they were so weak that Degurechaff's submachine gun could destroy them.
After the droid group was destroyed both jedi continued running as Degurechaff followed.
"This is it," Jinn said as he used his lightsaber to slash through the door.
Much slower than my magic sword, Degurechaff thought. Then again, it was also true that the magic sword could not reflect laser shots back at the enemy.
"Out of the way" Degurechaff shouted, drawing her magic sword. Right at that moment two droidekas rolled through the corridors until they reached the position of the three of them, deployed their shields and started firing at the three.
Degurechaff drew her submachine gun and reloaded. After applying the penetration spell to the weapon she began firing at the droidekas. Their shield may have protected against blaster fire, but not against physical objects. Both jedi looked at Degurechaff in surprise.
"With technology so obsolete."
"Obsolete your minds," Degurechaff said loudly as she opened the armored doors again.
"Prepare yourselves. We are going to enter their command center and take out their leadership."
The Jedi seemed to hesitate for a second as they looked around for cover, but not confirming Degurechaff's orders.
"He has to be arrested for his crimes. You cannot kill him," Kenobi said. However, he couldn't finish the sentence when Degurechaff opened a large enough doorway, upon which they saw multiple unarmed droids and two Nemodians.
Degurechaff quickly used her submachine gun to take down many of the droids present, only pausing to reload when she ran out of bullets, during which the two Jedi finally appeared.
They went in and took out the remaining droids present, except for a protocol droid that was near the Nemodians.
Degurechaff observed her enemy's weakness and made notes to herself. "Is there any way to take control of the ship?" she said. The Jedi shrugged their shoulders. Degurechaff, understanding that the Jedi would not be of much help, drew her magic sword and approached Nute Gunray. The frightened man walked backwards, but that only left him more exposed to the kick Degurechaff gave him.
"I'm going to kill you! Do you understand me!?" Degurechaff shouted. The protocol droid translated and Gunray began to speak in his own particular language. A sound strategy when you didn't know what information you were looking for was to torture the enemy without asking for specific information. They themselves gave you information you didn't even know existed.
"I will disable the droid army and make you rich. Don't hurt me!" the protocol droid translated.
Bingo. Degurechaff thought to herself. The four organic beings and the protocol droid saw a smile that would scare a lot of people.
"Then do it. If you do anything weird I will slowly cut your limbs off leaving you to bleed to death with as much pain as possible."
Gunray was already worried. When the protocol droid translated he became even more worried. Frightened for his safety he stood up and walked over to the control panel and deactivated all the droids while Degurechaff followed him with the magic sword, ready to make Nemodian sushi.
"Your methods are too violent," Jinn said in criticism of Degurechaff's behavior towards the unarmed prisoner.
Saying all that without knowing I have a nuclear bomb in my pocket right now. Degurechaff thought to herself
"And efficient," Degurecaff remarked with a sympathetic smile. Even if no one in the room thought it was a cute smile.
Soon all the droids were deactivated. Kenobi and Jinn seemed surprised at how easy it was. The beheading operations usually ended the situation in a matter of minutes and decided the fate of millions. Something the jedi were not used to.
"Kenobi," Degurechaff said, after tying up the two Nemodians so they couldn't escape.
"Yes?" Kenobi said.
"I need a door that leads to space. I need to get rid of something quite fast."
Kenobi nodded and started running, with Degurechaff following behind.
Obi-wan could not know how much the fate of the galaxy would be changed by this new planet but couldn't help but think about how efficient Degurechaff was. She might be a simple being but she was quite practical.
Definitely a great ally.