Disclaimer: All characters and events that take place within the story are fictional. Any relations to real people or events are purely coincidental. All copyrights belong to Atlus.
Art by Zengoro on Pixiv. Thanks so much!
Warning: Deviants explores psychological disorders, thoughts of suicide, attempted suicide, sexual assault, and emotional trauma both from an intrapersonal and interpersonal perspective. If you or anyone you know are suffering from any of the above, please seek professional help.
Wednesday, April 13
Lunchtime
This had to be a product of the day and age. Ren sat in the small alcove of the school courtyard with the vending machines in isolation. Anyone that came around the corner hoping for a convenient drink turned right back once they saw the infamous "criminal transfer student" had made it his new hideaway. As lunch drew on fewer and fewer students came here at all. Attributing it to how quickly news spread in a gossip-heavy environment such as high school Ren found less distractions to look up from his phone. Not that he was doing anything productive, just mindlessly opening a web page, closing the app, then repeating to ad nauseum. It was just something people did when they had nothing better to do.
After the volleyball rally Ryuji had tried to recruit Ren into assisting with getting information about Kamoshida's physical abuse from the volleyball club members again. Ren agreed, only because he had nothing better to do. But after the brief encounter with one of Ren's own classmates, nonetheless, Ryuji was convinced his presence would only hinder them more.
Ren's brows pinched together as he closed the tab again. He hadn't noticed it before, no, maybe he had and decided not to. His classmate had looked afraid. Very afraid. Of him. The web browser popped back on screen. Or he was afraid of Kamoshida finding out he'd snitched. That could be part of it. But the big eyes of every student that poked their head around that corner was an indication that Ren too, at the very least, was the source of some of that fear. Ren could push past the constant stares. But being a source of fear for some people? He wasn't sure about that. He felt guilty for scaring people, even if it was all on their end of things.
He thumbed the power button of his phone and tossed it onto the table in the middle of the alcove with a loud clatter. Slouching into the bench, tossing one arm over the backrest, and rubbing a lock of his hair Ren closed his eyes in an attempt to slow his thoughts. He associated the dull, numb feeling of his brain with not enough sleep. Although he'd knocked out hard Monday night it had done little to alleviate months of unrestful sleep.
The footsteps were muddled in Ren's subconscious. They didn't leave, so Ren could only think of one person it could be. "Did they fess up?"
Where Ren expected Ryuji's typical loudness was instead a somber, tired sounding voice that could only belong to a girl. "Uh… Not sure if that was meant for me."
"What?" Ren opened his eyes to see Takamaki… Crap, what was her first name? She looked just as good as she always did whenever Ren laid eyes on her, but what was she doing here? Oh right, the vending machines.
"Hey," Takamaki gave him a small smile, though her blue eyes didn't hold any energy. "I heard you were here, so I thought I'd come to talk with you for a sec."
… Or not.
The numb feeling subsided slightly as the neurons in his brain flared. She was with Kamoshida Monday morning. And, from what rumors said, Takamaki was close to Kamoshida. If anyone had inside information, it would be her. But at the same time she was his fast track to expulsion if he said the wrong things. His gut told him not to trust her.
"I'll be quick. I promise," Takamaki's blue eyes looked to the rest of the courtyard, spying a few students who were looking in their direction and whispering together. She reached into her pocket and approached the vending machine. "What's with you?" she asked, facing away from him and pondering the drink choices. If she was trying to be discreet about this she was a natural. "You show up late on your first day at a new school and lie about why you were late. Not to mention what everyone is saying about you."
"I got lost and ended up visiting a castle. Thought I'd go sightseeing," Ren watched carefully for a reaction.
"What?" Takamaki began turning her head but stopped halfway. "How did you end up at Chiyoda? You were only a few blocks away from school when I ran into you."
"Hey, whaddya want with him, Takamaki?" Ryuji leaned against the corner entering the alcove. He nodded at Ren before turning hard eyes to Takamaki.
Takamaki fed a few coins into the machine. "I could say the same to you, Sakamoto-san." Ren noticed Ryuji flinched slightly at being addressed by his last name. "You're not even in our class."
"Well…" Ryuji stuttered. "We just happened to run into each other."
"So what, you're the one who took him all the way to Chiyoda? That sounds like something you'd do instead of school." Takamaki's drink clattered noisily to the dispenser. "What're you two planning to do to Kamoshida-sensei?"
Ryuji narrowed his eyes. "I see. Right… you're all buddy-buddy with Kamoshida now from what I've heard."
Takamaki spun on her heel, eyes flaring. "What did you just say?"
"Oh, nothing. Just wonder what'd you do if you found out what he's been doing behind your back," Ryuji pondered. His tone was innocent but his eyes were anything but.
Takamaki seemed to remember that she was trying to be discreet. She turned around and grabbed her drink: a green tea. "Anyway, people are talking all about you two. I have no idea what you're trying to do here, but no one's going to help you."
Ryuji clicked his tongue. His expression said he knew she was right.
Drink in hand, Takamaki passed them. "I'm just warning you. That's all."
"You know her?" Ren asked after Takamaki was gone. "She seemed annoyed with you." He decided not to add that Ryuji seemed just as annoyed with her.
Ryuji crashed into the bench perpendicular to Ren's. "Yeah, we went to the same middle school."
Ren suspected there was something more to it, judging off of Ryuji's lack of eye contact and brief explanation, but he let it be. "She didn't seem to know about the castle. But I still don't trust her."
"Is that what the 'Chiyoda' business was about?" Ryuji raised an eyebrow. "Well, it seems like she did us a favor by misunderstanding us."
"So did you hear anything from the volleyball team?" Ren shifted the topic of conversation.
"None of the guys I talked to would tell me anything. And their injuries look much worse than they did before. One of the guys even had their eye bandaged up," Ryuji slammed his fist into the bench. "I just don't get it! Why hide it? Why not just fess up and get Kamoshida's ass fired?"
Ren shook his head. "I don't think it works like that, Ryuji. You said it yourself, Kamoshida's the top dog at Shujin. Principal Kobayakawa is only concerned about Shujin's image. What would happen to that if Kamoshida got fired from assaulting dozens of kids?"
"I know, I know!" Ryuji didn't sound any less frustrated. "I get why, but still! Shit pisses me off. There's gotta be something we can do!"
Ren would have missed them if he hadn't looked up at just the right time. He recognized the guy walking under the canopy. Their movements were slow, downtrodden. He sat near the front of the class always staring a thousand miles away. He had bruises all over him, and a nasty looking welt from where he'd received Kamoshida's spike at the rally straight to his face. "Hey, Ryuji, isn't he in the volleyball club?"
"Who?" Ryuji turned in the same direction Ren was facing. "Dark-blue hair? That guy?"
"Yeah… he got spiked in the face by Kamoshida this morning." Ren was already standing up.
"I think you're right. Let's go get 'em."
It didn't take them long to corner him in one of the quieter parts of the hallway.
"Hang on a sec. You're on the volleyball team, aren't you?" Ryuji repositioned to cage the poor guy in.
To any onlooker this looked like a classic bullying scenario. It probably was, if Ren was being honest with himself. But the guy seemed like the type to squeal. Ren set his jaw. He had a reputation. Undeserved, but a reputation like that had a lot of power here. As much as he hated doing so, he might as well take advantage of it. Ren took the side opposite Ryuji, the two of them towering above the dark-blue haired boy. "Kitajima? He is."
"My name's Mishima!" whirled to face them. The guy had some guts after all. Then his face drained of color once he noticed who he was talking to. "H-huh? Sakamoto? A-and the transfer student."
"How's your face doing? That hit you took looked like it hurt." Ren decided to ease into the conversation as best he could.
"I-It's nothing!" he stammered, looking for any way to escape. "I-I'm sorry, I really have to-"
Ren cutoff the guy's escape by slamming his hand next to Mishima's head. So much for easing into the conversation. "Easy, we just want to talk."
"Yeah, just a chat," Ryuji confirmed. "Kamoshida's been 'coaching' the volleyball team pretty harshly, hasn't he? Ya sure it ain't just physical abuse?"
Any squirming Mishima was doing stopped. "Absolutely not!" he said defiantly.
"You sure?" Ryuji leaned in closer and spoke in hushed tones. "'Cause everyone saw you get spiked in the face this morning."
"I-I'm just not very good at volleyball. I definitely could have returned it if I was a lot better!" Mishima's face flushed. From embarrassment or rage, Ren couldn't tell.
Ren gestured to Mishima's face. "What? You're telling me all those bruises are from practice, too?"
Mishima nodded. "That's right! I get them because I have a lot to improve on."
"So why does everyone in the volleyball team look like this, then?" Ren challenged. "Sure, everyone can improve to some extent but why run the risk of injuring a good player before a big game? If Kamoshida was such a good coach you'd think he'd hold back a little bit."
"T-that's…" Mishima averted his eyes and didn't look back.
"Is Kamoshida forcin' all you to keep quiet?" Ryuji asked quietly through clenched teeth.
"Can you stay out of this?" Mishima suddenly shouted. "What's it to you, Sakamoto? What if he is, huh? What're you gonna do? If we do well we have better odds of getting into renowned universities. More funds, more achievements, and more opportunities! Not like you'd understand. You had your chance with the track team and you blew it!"
"The hell did you just say?" Ryuji growled, hands clenched into fists.
"Mishima, we just need to hear it from someone," Ren intervened and decided to play good cop. "We won't tell anyone what you say, okay? We aren't going to blackmail you. We aren't going to throw you under the bus. We just have to hear it. That's all, I swear."
Ren thought he saw a flash of guilt in Mishima's glare as it gradually lost its edge. He mumbled something that Ren didn't quite catch.
"Speak up, dude," Ryuji said aggressively.
Ren held in an exasperated sigh and managed to not roll his eyes.
"Everyone knows about the physical abuse, you two. Our parents… the principal… everyone. And they all keep quiet," Mishima croaked. "No one cares. Not as long as Kamoshida keeps bringing Shujin acknowledgement." Tears welled into his eyes and he sunk to his knees.
The same thing was happening here. Parents and authority abandoning their kids. And it wasn't just one or two, it was dozens of parents. The mere thought of it made Ren's blood boil. But unlike Ryuji, Ren kept his brooding to himself.
"That asshole! Next time I see him I'm gonna-"
"What's going on here?"
Of course they'd draw attention. Ren mentally kicked himself. Two of the biggest troublemakers in school cornering a now crying classmate. He just didn't think the teacher who'd show up would be Kamoshida himself. Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear.
Kamoshida strode forward with confidence in every step. That confidence, however, turned to aggression once he saw the sources of the commotion. "Mishima, what're you crying for? You have practice to get to. And the two need to stay away from my team. They don't need you making them anxious with all those rumors about you."
"Look here, bud," Ryuji stepped into Kamoshida's personal space. "Who do you think started everything with me? You had to butt into the track team and ruin us."
"Ruin you?" Kamoshida asked innocently. "Sakamoto I believe you were the one who assaulted me. Maybe you should join that one by having a criminal record as well."
Ryuji snarled. "You little-"
Ren grabbed Ryuji's shoulder. It was shaking, Ren knew, but they couldn't afford this to escalate. That would bring far too many problems for him right now. Problems that Ren wasn't equipped to deal with. Homelessness, for one. "Let's go."
"But he's-"
"I said let's go."
"Aww. You're going to listen to him, Sakamato? Come on, we can have a repeat of what happened last time." Kamoshida really knew how to press Ryuji's buttons from the way he reacted.
Ryuji clicked his tongue and turned on his heel. "Freakin' bastard," he muttered as Ren followed.
They left Mishima huddled on the floor with Kamoshida towering over him.
After School
"Goddamnit, this is freakin' ridiculous!" Ryuji slammed his fist into the wire fence on the school rooftop.
Ryuji had texted Ren during class to meet up on the rooftop once school was finished. Thankfully Ren always put his phone on vibrate, though that didn't keep Mr. Ushimaru from nailing him in the center of the forehead with a piece of chalk. Ren pulled a fringe of his hair to cover the small red spot of inflammation.
"The parents and the principal? You were right about the principal, but the parents, too?" This time Ryuji gave the fence a kick. "Does no one care?"
"No one who can change anything cares. They never seem to," Ren leaned back into the partly broken chair and crossed his arms. "Shit's the same. You think it never happens but then you experience it or meet a victim. It's always the same."
"I knew it sucked when you told me about what happened to you, but I get riled up all over again thinkin' how there are dozens, if not hundreds of parents who don't give a damn that their kid is getting the crap kicked out of 'em! They can't even fight back. They're just forced to take it!"
"I know, Ryuji. I don't need a reminder." Ren immediately regretted the chiding tone he spoke with.
"Right…" Ryuji deflated and dropped into a chair. "Sorry. I just can't believe all that goes on and she still doesn't give a damn."
Ren cocked an eyebrow. "She?"
"Takamaki Ann," Ryuji shook his head. "You know, the girl who was 'warning' us about Kamoshida. She's in your class, bro."
"I wasn't going to ask, but what's the deal with you two? And I won't be satisfied with 'middle school classmates' this time." Ryuji already had something personal with Kamoshida. And if Takamaki was influencing that as well Ren would like to know.
"I… wasn't trying to hide anything. We were friends; she was real fun to be around. I thought I knew her," Ryuji said sadly. "But I guess I don't anymore. Suzui-san still hangs out with her. Wait, Suzui-san… she's Takamaki's best friend… she's a starter on the girl's volleyball team. Maybe we can ask her."
Ren felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water onto him. He felt a cavity open in his chest and had to swallow a few times before he could control his voice again. "Ryuji…" Ren's voice cracked anyways. "Were all the people you talked to today guys?" How had he not noticed?
"Yeah, why?" Ryuji seemed to think nothing strange about it.
"They're girls, Ryuji. I've seen them bruised, too. But what if…" Ren couldn't help but let the words hang in the air before continuing. "What if Kamoshida's doing something more to them?"
Realization drained Ryuji's face of color. "Oh shit… I didn't see any girls in the castle, either. When I awakened to my Persona, Kamoshida said something about doing something much more satisfying than physical abuse." Ryuji stood up and covered his mouth. "Oh my god, Ann…"
"You think she knows? If Suzui-san's her best friend do you think she'd let that happen to her?" If she did, Ren was going to have serious problems.
"I don't think so, no," Ryuji shook his head. "Fuck, Ren, I don't think she knows at all. Suzui-san is like Ann's sister. There's no way she'd let that happen."
Asking about physical abuse was one thing, but sexual assault and harrassment? A guy couldn't ask about that. "I don't think that's something we should ask, Ryuji."
"Yeah, no, Ann would go ballistic if we even suggested it. And when Ann gets mad…" Ryuji shuddered. "She's worse than I am."
"So what can we do?"
"Fuck if I know, man."
Thursday, April 14
After School
The drink in her hands was long forgotten. After the brief thanks to Ann for handing it to her Shiho's mind was elsewhere.
She was so tired. Everyday felt monotonous. Wake up. Go to school. Participate in volleyball practice. Return home. Homework and study. Sleep. Repeat. And for what? To keep her parents happy? To win a trophy? For an academic ranking? She was barely able to do any of those things. Right now she just wanted everything to stop.
Mom and dad used to be so caring. She picked up a lot of mannerisms from them. She always peeked into a room and waved at whoever was inside before walking in, even if no one was there. She waited for others to begin eating before she did. She preferred coffee over tea. But now… now things were different. Shiho couldn't place a finger on when, but at some point her parents had gotten overbearing. Shiho initially joined volleyball because it seemed fun, and it was. But once her middle school coach told her parents that Shiho had a talent for it, volleyball was her life. They constantly harried her about practice for the sake of "her future." Whatever that meant.
And practice… Shiho couldn't do anything right. The net was never set up right. The balls were never in the right place. Her positioning was always off. She wasn't putting in enough effort. What had been fun and enjoyable was what Shiho dreaded most. She couldn't even muster the energy to be upset. How could that happen?
Shiho almost laughed at the thought. She knew how it happened. It was simple, really. She wasn't good enough. Everyone knew her starting position was a fluke. Everyone knew that she wasn't as smart as they thought she was. Her parents thought of her as a nice girl when all she wanted to do was cry and scream that they couldn't notice that she was doing the best she could. And they had the gall to say they care for her after they finished their lecture for the day. How could no one notice that she wasn't doing her best?
"Hey, Shiho?" A voice called and brought her back to reality. "Shouldn't you be heading to volleyball, soon?" A reality she didn't want to be in. But a reality with Ann.
Shiho knew that Ann asked out of sincere concern, and she loved her for it. "Uh-huh." Her own voice sounded emotionless. Ann was sensitive to these kinds of things, she'd pick up on it for sure. She was great at that.
"Hey," Ann asked tenderly, taking Shiho's face into her hands. Shiho made it a point to stare straight ahead into nothing. "This bruise… is it from practice, too?"
"Yeah… it is." It was punishment for moving too slowly. But it was far from the worst thing she'd received.
"You said you weren't pushing yourself too hard… Are you sure?" Ann gently brushed her finger against the bruise on her cheek.
"It's fine, Ann." The smile on her face felt fake. The bruise on the surface of her skin wasn't as painful as the one beneath it. Ann would notice. "Volleyball's the only thing I can kind of do, afterall."
"Shiho…" Ann's phone began to ring. And ring. And ring. Still she held onto Shiho's face.
"Shouldn't you answer that?" Shiho didn't deserve this kindness. She didn't deserve anything.
Ann almost sighed and picked up her phone. She still didn't answer it. "Shiho, can you please look at me for a second?"
Shiho obliged and immediately regretted it. Ann was terrible at hiding her emotions and great at expressing them. She didn't need to say anything. Her blue eyes spoke of selfless pain and concern for her. For her. Shiho couldn't hold that gaze for long. Not with the emotions packed within. She didn't deserve those feelings. "I-I should get going."
"I'm worried about you, Shiho," Ann said as Shiho stood and stepped away.
"I know." She did. She really did. And it meant the world to her. She could go on for another day. Another day without withering away.
Ren paused behind the raven-haired girl that stood in front of the doors to the practice building. She wasn't moving, and had been staring into her hand at what Ren presumed was her phone. The girl was in a sports uniform that read "Suzui" and had a knee brace on one leg. Suzui... Takamaki Ann's best friend according to Ryuji. Ren didn't intend to find her. This was a chance encounter. Not sure how she'd react, Ren decided to not tap her on the shoulder to get her attention. "Hey, are you alright there?"
"Huh?" Suzui responded in a sluggish tone. "Oh… I'm blocking the door, aren't I? Sorry about that."
"Oh, that's no problem. I was just asking if you're okay. You look a little worn out when you space out like that." Now that Ren got a good look at her face he saw portions of her face were covered in heavy makeup. On the periphery of those spots her skin was dark blue and purple.
Suzui cocked her head to one side. Her tired eyes grew a little more focused than before. "I think I'd recognize everyone at school. If not by name, then at least by face. But I don't recognize you. Oh, I see. Are you that transfer from Class D?"
Ren blinked at the nonchalant curiosity about him. A first at Shujin, that's for sure. "Yeah, that would be me. Amamiya Ren, it's a pleasure to meet you." Ren gave a small bow.
"Suzui Shiho. Apologies for any inconvenience I've caused you," she smiled awkwardly. "And, I know it isn't my place to say anything, but don't let the rumors get to you, okay?"
"Yeah, I try," Ren agreed. "But… why do you say that?"
Shiho's awkward smile shrank into a small, genuine one. "My best friend is often misunderstood because of her looks. She gets a bad rep for it. She's in your class, Takamaki Ann."
"Ah, Takamaki-san," Ren rubbed a fringe of his hair. "Yeah, I happen to sit behind her."
"Oh, you do? Well, she isn't what the rumors make her out to be. I'm sure the same goes for you." Suzui glanced at her phone. "Anyway, I have to head to practice. I'll see you around."
She finally opened the door and left Ren's sight.
He leaned against the railing and continued rubbing his hair. Ryuji's information that Suzui Shiho and Takamaki Ann were best friends was true. Suzui had visibly perked up and gotten chatty once Takamaki entered the conversation. She didn't jump to conclusions and react to Ren like the rest of the student body, which gave her a plus in his book. She also didn't strike him as the type to hurt or harm people. The opposite, in fact.
At the same time, though, she certainly didn't look okay. Her eyes were glazed and almost unfocused the entire time. Disinterested, was a better word for it. Ren had seen that expression in the mirror more times than he'd like. She was going through a rough patch. Heck, who wasn't?
It couldn't just be Kamoshida, though Ren would bet the rest of his life in prison that the volleyball coach was a major contributor to Suzui's grief. He could spend all day speculating what else was bothering her. But that wouldn't accomplish anything. Everyone was fighting their own battles. Some were losing. Ren spied the corner Suzui had disappeared around and hurried to meet up with Ryuji.
"We need to do something."
Ryuji had said that the moment Ren walked through the rooftop doors. They were all alone up here, like always.
Ren chewed on his lip. He'd spent all night thinking about this. "I know. I just… I have no solid idea how. We can't trust the faculty to help us, who knows who's in on it. And with the principal on Kamoshida's side even if there was a teacher willing to help they'd get snuffed out fast. And, just to clarify, no cops."
"Ren, I know you got issues with the police, man. But are we really sure they aren't going to be able to help?"
"You heard Mijima-"
"Mishima," Ryuji corrected.
"Whatever." Ren's frustration was getting to him but he kept going. "You heard him say that the parents are turning a blind eye. No one is going to stand up for them. The cops come over, take testimonies of high school students, then what? The parents and the faculty all deny it. What can the cops do in that situation?"
"Okay, fine. The police can't help. If Kamoshida wasn't such a freakin' Adonis I'd suggest beating the crap outta him. But we both know how that would go," Ryuji rubbed his leg and winced. "And we'd get caught for sure. Then you get sent to juvie and I'd probably be joining you."
Ren began pacing. Here came the crazy. "I don't know how it would work- or works, I guess, but what about that other place. The castle. Again, we know too little about it. But we know Kamoshida doesn't remember it. What if we did something there?"
"You know, I thought you'd have a harder time coming up with that."
They both stared at each other. "The hell happened to your voice?" "Was that you?"
"I didn't say anything." "No."
"Uh, hello? Down here?"
Ren looked down and saw a black cat with a white underbelly and paws. It's eyes were a remarkable blue.
"Don't think you can escape without payment for helping you two out."
That's weird. The cat's mouth moved but words were coming out of it. Ren's brain struggled to keep up.
Ryuji shot to his feet and pointed at the cat. "THE CAT'S FUCKIN' TALKING?!"
"What?" Ren placed his hands on his hips. "That's ridiculous, Ryuji. How is that possible?"
"I am not a cat! I am a human!" The cat hopped onto a desk and slapped Ryuji's still pointing finger away. "And I told you to not point. It's rude!"
"Oh... it's Morgana." Of course, how could Ren have been so stupid. Everything was fine now.
"Don't act like that just makes sense!" Ryuji shouted. "How the heck are you here?"
"I'm just that good," Morgana scratched his ear in a very cat-like fashion. "But that's besides the point. From what I've heard you two are in a bit of a tough spot."
Ryuji slammed his hands onto a desk. "Are we seriously just going to ignore that a cat-"
"A human." Morgana corrected.
"Whatever!"
Ren pulled a chair up and plopped himself down. "Yeah. We have some… issues… with Kamoshida. He's the king over in that… other place."
"His Palace," Morgana offered.
"Okay, we really are ignoring it. Sure. Let's go with that. His what?" Ryuji switched gears fast. "It's obviously a castle."
Morgana's voice hit a new fever pitch. "We are not doing that again. Kamoshida's Palace takes the form of a castle. And they're like, the same thing, aren't they?!"
"You seem to know a lot about this. And we're completely in the dark here. So what is it, exactly? This 'Palace.' What's it got to do with Kamoshida?" Ren brought the conversation back on track. He had a feeling if he left these two alone nothing would happen.
"Palaces are manifestations of an individual's distorted desires. Everyone has distorted desires, but only those that are powerful enough can form Palaces," Morgana said matter-of-factly. "You can think of it as them believing in something so strongly that it becomes real. That's what I call a Palace."
"So in the case of Kamoshida he so strongly believes that he's the king of Shujin Academy that it became a castle with him as the ruler?" Ren tried to paraphrase it for himself. It made sense… mostly.
"Exactly! And only those, like us, who deny their distorted desires so strongly can have Personas. You," Morgana pointed a paw at Ren. "Have Arsene. Ryuji has Captain Kid. And I have Zorro."
Ryuji scratched his head. "But like, what about our clothes?"
Morgana's ears twitched. "It's what you imagine a rebel looks like. Like a Palace is to distorted desires, it's a manifestation of your inner rebel. It's proof that you will resist the distorted desires of others."
Ryuji threw up his arms. "This is confusing as hell."
"Okay…" Ren said slowly. He got the gist of it. "So the castle is a manifestation of Kamoshida's distorted desires. It exists because he believes in it so strongly..."
"Uh-huh. Go on," Morgana almost seemed to smile.
Ren talked into his hands. "What would happen if we got rid of it?"
"There it is," Morgana said, extremely satisfied. "The Palace is deeply connected to its owner. If it disappears it'd have an impact on the real Kamoshida."
"What would happen?" Ryuji asked with bated breath.
"His distorted desires would disappear," Ren concluded. "There's no way. That's crazy. It doesn't make sense."
"Stop trying to have it make sense," Morgana flicked his tail. "You've seen things you wouldn't have believed if someone told you. That world isn't like this one. Not all rules apply there. But yes, his distorted desires would disappear and he'd become an honest man."
"So we can stop Kamoshida from continuing what he's doing?" Ryuji stood, grinning uncontrollably. "Holy shit, that's awesome!"
"That isn't all," Morgana said excitedly. "Getting rid of a Palace forces the owner to have a change of heart. He'd remember his crimes and feel extremely guilty. He'll confess to them himself!"
Ryuji's eyes threatened to pop out of his skull. "For real? That's possible?!"
"And since he doesn't know what goes on in there, he won't be able to trace anything about our involvement!" Morgana continued. "It's the perfect crime!"
Ryuji lifted Morgana into the air. "You're amazing!"
"I know!" Morgana purred.
Ren crossed his arms. "So how do we get rid of the Palace? I'm guessing Ryuji can't just blow it up with cannons."
"No, he can't. And I doubt he has the power to do that anymore." Morgana saw their confused faces. "I'm sure you noticed, Ren, but Arsene wasn't nearly as powerful the second time you summoned him, right?"
"Yeah." Ren had noticed. If Arsene was just as powerful they wouldn't have been in so much trouble when Ryuji woke up to his Persona.
"Think of it as a soda can. You have all this potential in you, this will to rebel. It builds and builds and builds until it comes to a breaking point. Then it explodes." Morgana demonstrated with his paws. "But that initial burst is the strongest. Everything after is much weaker."
"Damn, that freakin' sucks." Ryuji set Morgana back down. "Repeating what Ren asked… How do we get rid of the damn place?"
"We steal the Treasure held within," Morgana answered and smiled mischievously. "Buuuuut I'll tell you more if you agree to help me out. So what'll it be?"
"Hell yeah!" Ryuji pumped his fist. "We aren't getting anywhere on our own. I think the answer is obvious!"
Ren contained his excitement. It sounded too good to be true. "Morgana? If something they believe in so strongly were to suddenly disappear what effect would that have on their minds?"
"That's the thing," Morgana started. "If what drives them to continue living disappears they will lose the will to sleep, eat, find love, those sorts of things. It'll be no different to shutting them down entirely. They'll lose the will to live."
"What you're saying is we'll be killing who they are as a person," Ren whispered and stared into the distance.
"Yeah… They might even die if they aren't given proper care."
"So we'd be murderers?" Ryuji asked the question Ren didn't want to. He didn't want that burden.
"Aren't you willing to take those risks for the good of others? What is it that you determined to do when you awakened to your Personas?" Morgana asked aggressively. "I can't believe you're even hesitating about this!"
"This is someone's life, Morgana!" Ren was on the verge of yelling. "I'm determined to fight back. But I'm not about to go kill someone because they piss me off! I'd be no better than them."
Morgana's voice softened. "But isn't this your only option?"
Neither Ren or Ryuji answered.
"Fine," Morgana came to a decision. "I'll come back later. Think about it until then. But I bet I'll know what the answer will be."
The black cat hopped off the desk and disappeared through the fence.
"Thoughts, Ryuji?" Ren finally asked after minutes of silence.
"Just like you I don't wanna kill 'em despite all he's done. But I don't believe things should continue like this, either. I don't know. I'll see if I can think of something else. Let's just head home for the day."
"Yeah… we have a lot to think about." A lot to think about indeed.
When Ren left school he wasn't expecting to be sitting across from Takamaki Ann in a diner like this. Her eyes were still red and puffy. She kept stirring the ice in her iced tea that kept their awkward silence somewhat bearable with the clinking of glass. He hadn't thought this through at all. Seriously, the past several days he's been running on instinct rather than logic.
As the awkward tension between the two of them continued Ren played the series of events that had led to this situation to begin with.
"No, that isn't what you said! Leave Shiho out of this!"
It was the sound of pure terror that made Ren's heart skip a beat and threaten to send him back down that accursed street. He saw the car. The two people. Damn it, he would not be defeated! A scream for help. Help. A jail cell. What the hell are you doing? Go help her!
Ren's feet moved on their own volition and he found himself standing in front of Takamaki Ann. The blonde, model-esque girl who sat in front of him in class. The one who had shouted in terror. There was no one else around her as she kneeled on the floor of Shibuya Station, squeezing her phone into her chest.
He knelt beside her when she finally noticed him.
"Were you… listening?" Takamaki's eyes were puffy, wet, red, and laced with suspicion and anger.
"Can't help it sometimes," Ren spoke quietly. Gently. "Comes with not having anyone to talk to." That sounded a lot less weird in his head.
"What the heck? Haven't you heard of privacy?" Takamaki composed herself and grabbed her bag.
"I have. Wish I could get it at school, too. But I couldn't help overhearing a girl yelling in public," Ren straightened and offered her a hand to stand up.
"Right… I suppose I'll forgive you," Takamaki accepted his assistance.
Ren glanced around and saw dozens of passerbys watching them. "Speaking of privacy… Why don't we go somewhere else?"
"What? Why?" Suspicion creeped back into those blue eyes. Her grip on her bag tightened.
Ren worked his jaw. If Shiho was best friends with Takamaki the blonde girl couldn't be so bad. Ryuji had vouched for middle-school Takamaki as well. And judging from the look on her face and the mention of Shiho over the phone call Ren had an idea of who was on the other side of that phone. "I… I just wouldn't want that to happen to me. Being left alone to my problems while everyone walked on by. And if you need to talk about it to someone I can lend an ear."
She watched him carefully, trying to discern if there was any malicious intent behind his suggestion. Finally Takamaki shrugged. "Sure. Not that there's anything I want to talk to you about."
And nothing to talk to him about indeed, given how the silence continued even after Ren had finished reviewing what had happened. He had a lot of things on his own mind. If she didn't want to talk then that was up to her. Ren stood and began to gather his bag. "If you're alright now I'm going to head on out. I'll pay for your drink, so go ahead and take your time."
Takamaki sighed and shook her head. Ren took it as permission to stay. "No, I should at least explain what's going on." She gave him a small smile. "It's the least I can do for your concern."
Ren settled back into his seat and waited.
"It was just an argument…"
"With Kamoshida," Ren finished her sentence after she let it hang.
"That easy to guess, huh? That doesn't sit well with me in the slightest knowing that he's the first one to come to your head. Yeah, it was Kamoshida," Takamaki finally stopped stirring her drink and dropped her hand to the table. She was a bundle of confusion, frustration, and a little bit of fear. "I avoided giving him my number for the longest time. He invited me to his place after school today. You know what that means. I told him I couldn't. That I had work matters to attend to. Then he said he'd take Shiho off her starting position if I refused him."
What little composure she had mustered began to crumble. "Shiho's worked so hard to earn that spot. I can't just take that away from her. But I can't take this anymore! The constant harassment from him. The looks he gives me. This ongoing anxiety that if I mess up I'll destroy everything Shiho's accomplished. God, I hate him!" The tears started falling. She didn't attempt to hide them. "Shiho's my best friend. She's the only thing I have to look forward to at that sorry excuse of a school!"
What Ren felt alongside the aching in his chest was guilt. Well, she isn't what the rumors make her out to be. I'm sure the same goes for you. The weight of Shiho's words to him earlier today hit him like a sledgehammer. He really wasn't any better than the rest of Shujin. He'd seen all that vacant, tired look in her eyes on previous occasions. Yet he still hadn't trusted her. Takamaki was a victim of this, too. "She's a nice girl."
Takamaki shot him another suspicious glare. "She is."
Ren raised his hands innocently. "I happened to run into her during school. She said to not let the rumors get to me."
Suspicion turned to admiration and pride. "Yeah, that sounds like Shiho, alright. Always worried about others before herself. It's one of the many things I admire about her."
Ren couldn't help a small grin. Those two girls were two peas of a pod. "I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, Takamaki-san. I let those rumors about you get the better of me and I want to apologize for that." He didn't feel any less guilty, but he figured this was a start.
Takamaki sighed. "Don't worry about it. Can't blame you, everyone usually just ignores me." She seemed to really take a look at Ren. He couldn't help but squirm a little under those scrutinizing blue eyes. "Are you really a bad person? I've heard people talking about you, but…" Her critical eye relented as she relaxed. "I just don't see it."
"I'd like to think I'm not what the rumors make me out to be," Ren tapped the bottom of his drink with the straw.
"Hmmmm…" Takamaki hummed. "I kinda had a feeling they were all exaggerations. You seemed lonely- Almost like you didn't belong anywhere… We're similar in that regard. Maybe that's why I decided to open up to you."
That guilt drove itself deeper. Takamaki Ann really wasn't like anything Ren made her out to be. She was right. Maybe they were more alike then he'd initially thought. He really needed to open his eyes more. "Only a little. Ryuji's been hanging out with me."
"Ah, yes, Sakamoto-san. He may be a bit much sometimes but he's a good guy. I'm glad you two got to know each other. I know he's been going through some stuff with the track team and everything," Takamaki sighed, guilt flashing across her face. "I should have been there for him when that happened but… I've just been so preoccupied with my own life that I… I should have done something."
"I don't think it's too late," Ren said before he could stop himself. He immediately shut his mouth after that.
"You think so?" Takamaki flicked her straw. "Maybe I will. But I have to deal with Kamoshida first. I wish he'd just change his mind… Like, forget about me, and... everything." She leaned back into the booth and gazed longingly at the ceiling. "As if something fantastical like that could happen."
"Forget everything, huh?" Ren repeated. Morgana had said they could earlier. If they stole this Treasure they'd help dozens of people who were suffering from his tyrannical reign at Shujin. It was so simple. This was saving dozens of people from physical and emotional trauma. How was that not worth the risk?
"Stop thinking about it so seriously," Takamaki addressed Ren's furrowed eyebrows. "But I do feel better. I'm going to head home. And don't worry, I'll take care of my own drink. Just… don't tell anyone what I told you, okay? Especially Ryu- uh… Sakamato-kun. I'll try and think of a way to persuade Kamoshida. Thanks for this, Amamiya-san."
"Thank you. I've learned a lot from this conversation," Ren admitted. More than he thought he would.
Takamaki shot him a quizzical look, shrugged, and parted after another goodbye.
Ren stayed for a few more minutes absorbed in his own thoughts. There shouldn't have been any hesitation. The ice in his drink slowly melted before clicking his glass.
"Suzui-san? Are you leaving?"
Shiho paused, hand in her locker hovering over her outdoor shoes. Mishima stood at the end of the aisle. His eyes were downcast and the dark purple and blue bruises sent a stark reminder about Shiho's own. She just wanted everything to stop. "What is it, Mishima-kun?"
"Kamoshida-sensei wants to talk to you… He's in the PE faculty office." Mishima refused to meet her eyes.
Fear leapt into Shiho's throat along with impending hopelessness. She knew what would follow. Beatings, at the very least. She just wanted everything to stop! "W-What did he say?"
Mishima shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't ask. Well… I have to go clean up the courts. I'll see you tomorrow." He disappeared around the corner leaving Shiho alone.
Shiho sank to her knees, fumbling with her phone after it pinged. A message. It was from Ann. Shiho opened it.
Ann: Hey, Shiho! Stay strong and hang in there. I'll figure something out. I'm with you to the end!
"Oh, Ann…" Shiho shut her eyes to keep the tears in. She could make it another day.
Shutting her locker closed once more, Shiho made her way to the second floor where Kamoshida was undoubtedly waiting. She could make it another day. Another day.
AN
Christ, I feel like this chapter was a mess. I was in jumbles writing this chapter. My head was in a thousand other places while writing and I don't think it contributed in the slightest. I know it's hard writing out emotions that you are afraid to touch again, and it's really easy to shut the door preemptively before digging in. I don't know if I managed to articulate what I wanted to, and I doubt I did. But I'll give this chapter a while to rest before I reread it with a critical lens.
Thanks again for reading. And thanks to Zengoro on Pixiv for the wonderful art! See you all next week!
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