YAY I'm here! A relatively long chapter too. Haha. Well, compared to the last one (I think the word count doubled! wohoo). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this even tho it's kinda angsty. And THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT. :D
Disclaimer: I wish I own Hunter x Hunter.
…
CHAPTER 12: Delusion x Family x Fidelity
She moaned in pleasure as she immersed herself in the feeling of his warm lips all over her skin. He felt heavenly—their similarly frigid skins rubbing together was indescribable. Together, their cold bodies created warmth of their own.
When he claimed her lips with his—deepening it every stroke—all coherent thought flew out the window, and she couldn't find a hint inside her to even care.
She had no control, yet oddly she felt glad—relieved, even.
Nerys felt amazing. She felt free.
But then in a flash she saw, all too clearly, his hand instantaneously turned into a knife. Her eyes widened in response, and she automatically looked for his eyes to find out what this was for.
But when she did, she automatically wished that she hadn't.
His eyes… they were dark like the pitless wells she threw a little girl once. And in an instant—he plunged his sharp hand into her stomach. It was too sudden to feel pain.
And like the people she killed, she was sucked into the darkness as well.
Nerys opened her eyes, shocked, sweating, and crying.
When he didn't grab her arm when she turned for the door the previous day—to place kisses, to tell her he was willing to try—she half expected him to come at night and sneak into her bed. It wasn't preposterous, nor was it impossible. Her charms weren't weak.
But that man's wall was too high.
She wondered what else she had to do to break it.
…
WHALE ISLAND
"Gon! Kurapika! Time to wake up now!" Mito's clear voice echoed across the house. There was no answer. She whipped her head to her mother, who was sitting on the table reading newspaper. "Geez, what's taking those two so long?"
"You better ready breakfast for two." The older woman said, putting down her paper. "Those two fell asleep only a few moments before sunrise. I saw them as I waited for the newshawk to arrive."
Mito stared at her for a while, absent-mindedly continuing on readying her cooking equipment (she really wanted to bond with those two through cooking), before finally uttering anything.
"What?" She asked. "What they were doing?"
Grandma shrugged in reply. "Whatever kids do nowadays." And then gave Mito a pointed look when their eyes met. "Not that." "I think they were having a duel."
"Oh."
And true enough, the two kids woke up when the sun was at its zenith, just in time for the preparation of lunch. Well, Kurapika helped. Gon was still too groggy so she decided to take a bath.
"Well, we'll be cooking her favourite dishes so I guess we should surprise her, then?" Mito said with a shrug as she chopped the vegetables. Really, it was already a tradition during her birthday so Gon probably wouldn't be surprised.
"She'll probably be able to tell by the smell." Kurapika said and she smiled.
"Yes, and that too."
Comfortable silence occupied the kitchen after that, with Mito being impressed with Kurapika's knowledge about cooking. But then she soon noticed Kurapika's mind seemed to be going elsewhere. Considering many of the conversations she had with him, she had a vague idea of what it was about.
"Are you still wondering what to give her?"
"…"
She chuckled. "I told you not to stress yourself out." She said. "She just wants it as simple as possible—with all of us with her. Her favourite food is a must, of course."
Kurapika didn't disagree. But he didn't quite agree, either. "She would've loved to spend her eighteenth birthday with him." He said, making Mito blink a little in surprise.
In the end though, she gave him a worried smile. Mito still didn't know what happened with Killua, but she felt like she couldn't ask about him. Not yet. But regardless, it worried her so.
"Well, since you've implied we can't have him today…" She paused and looked at him, noting quite obviously how strained he was becoming. "What of her nineteenth, then? Her twentieth?" Mito paused. "What do you think?"
Kurapika only stared at her in silence, before resuming his preparation for the food's spices. "Only time will tell." He mumbled, albeit he wasn't quite sure what answer he was honestly hoping for.
"I can't just wait here you know." Mito retorted almost immediately. "Can you give me a hint, at least?" She said, an undertone of what could be considered a plead present in her voice. "At this point, will Killua be able to make Gon happy?"
"He won't be able to protect her." Was his response instead, as if it was all the answer Mito needed.
All he'd hear after that was the running water, the slow chopping sound made by the board and the knife, and the rustles of the leaves outside. When he heard simmering by the furnace, Mito finally broke the awkward pause in the conversation.
"One of the few things I've learned, in my years of inexperience, is never to escape your heart. Listen to it." She said.
"…so that it won't make that one traitorous blow."
…
"So… who won?" Mito asked, some several minutes later in the dining table. Gon, who was then chewing her viand, raised her hand, that proud twinkle in her eye obvious.
"I dweed."
Mito was stirring the soup, then, and she found herself pausing what she was doing and raised an eyebrow. She did not expect that. "Oh?"
"She's grown stronger." Kurapika said in assent. They only used the basic nen techniques but he could tell that Gon grew in ways he didn't anticipate—her aura was as smooth and well-controlled as the best he had encountered—while he got rusty through the years of administrative work, despite being a Zoldiac (especially since he was one of the few, along with Leorio, who remained in the main land). Even with his eyes red, she had no trouble in dealing with him.
But whatever the case, he was proud of her, more than the words he told her could express.
They ate lunch amicably, the topic primarily about their duel all the way until the time they were already cleaning the table. The two older women seemed to have gained interest in fights, particularly since neither of them had blood.
For the duration of that short instant, Kurapika and Gon made a silent agreement that the women didn't have to know that both of them had maximum reinforcement abilities, and they were actually very bloody during the fight.
Then they realized there was the laundry which would, in no way, disappear without the women noticing. So the next instant their eyes met and they gave nervous shrugs.
"We just heal quickly." Kurapika finally admitted. "We don't want you to be worried once you see our bloodied clothes."
And the two women gaped at that.
It was a good thing they had already finished eating.
…
Gon didn't seem to be bothered as she collected the plates, unconsciously using 'In'—something that became a habit when she did menial task and her mind began wondering around.
Unfortunately for Mito, she turned around at a moment where Gon seemed to have appeared out-of-nowhere. "Oh!" She yelled, almost dropping the porcelain in her arms. "You surprised me!"
Gon blinked (apologized without thinking) and then her eyes widened as if she just had a light-bulb moment. Which she did. She turned her head to Kurapika, who was already done wiping the table. "Ne, Kurapika. I got an idea."
Kurapika wordlessly waited for her to continue. "Well…" She said, walking closer. "Want to see who can hold 'In' longer?"
The Kuruta only stared, and the women couldn't quite tell whether he was waiting for Gon's 'I'm kidding' tag or if he was seriously considering her offer.
"Okay." He said with a playful smile, partly surprising Mito (who ended up with an internal bright smile afterwards).
On the other hand, Kurapika was silently thinking of how to make the game even more interesting. Even before they were apart, Gon had the advantage on that technique, given her predisposition and the environment she grew up in. Still, whatever he did with Gon he always found fun.
"What about we play hide-and-seek while we do so?" He said, in the midst of some child-like enthusiastic phase brought about by Gon's earnest stare. Frankly, Kurapika was a little surprised he came up with that—the last time he played that game was over a decade ago when Pairo was alive. But when Gon beamed like she did at his idea, he couldn't find it in him to take it back.
"Sure!"
.
He was almost two years past twenty and she had just turned eighteen, but—as he had seen with how much fun they were actually having, after a few rounds, a few animal encounters, and acres of forests spanned—he realized that that didn't stop them from feeling like children again.
Kurapika was glad he came.
…
It was almost dusk when he arrived.
"Illumi!"
Mito yelled the moment she saw him in front of her doorstep, and gave him a warm embrace. It took him a little longer than usual to hug her back, and he refused to dwell on why it was so difficult.
It was no surprise that he was particularly easy-to-cringe that moment. However, he flinched when he heard rustles of leaves in the forest behind him. As they approached, his eyes widened ever so slightly—and that meant he was thoroughly not anticipate this.
He did not expect two of his brother's former friends were there.
Why didn't he sense them?
He was tempted to throw needles at them at that moment for not being on the plan.
"Oh, Illumi!" Mito chirped behind him, making him momentarily throw out his hostile thoughts. "This is Gon! And that's her friend Kurapika."
"Ah." He said, using his usual tone of voice. Gon, who was staring at him (understandably) with fear in her eyes seemed to have snapped out of it and forced a smile. The blonde, on the other hand, only lifted his guard but seemed to understand that he wasn't going to attack (yet), so he kept quiet and played along.
Good.
The moments that followed had not been problematic, Gon was expectedly wary of him, despite not knowing who he was. He had seen enough of the girl's instincts to know how deeply they worked for her. The acting Mafia lord was ready to attack the whole time, but inconspicuously enough that Mito and the grandmother wouldn't have any idea at all.
But then there was Mito, herself. At many points she seemed jumpy, as if she was hiding something from him. That part sat particularly badly with him.
"So who won this game?" Mito asked as they sat on the dining table for the dessert (dinner had been mysteriously effortful to swallow so no one spoke, except to the cook, Mito, herself).
It was a collection of fruits prepared by grandma, to make up for Mito's sudden lack of cooking skills. There was an especially large amount of mangoes though, and Mito was the one who ate most of it. No one else seemed to notice nor mind it, and Illumi wondered why he even noticed.
In any case, Gon raised her hand to answer Mito's question. "I did." She grinned. "I'm the best hide-and-seek player out here."
"Yes, she did. And she is." The blonde said with a smile, pretending that he wasn't there. Gon had the advantage, obviously, growing up in the place.
Gon grinned before her eyes darted towards the plates as she went to eat another slice of apple. "There're no more mangoes." She stated, looking at Mito. "Would you like me to get more, Mito-san?"
"Is mango your new favourite?" He asked and Gon perked up to answer.
"Oh. It's Mito's—"His and Gon's eyes met around that time and Gon, after gulping her nerves, decided to speak with him. "I hear you're a businessman." She said, forgetting the inquiry she was about to make, which suspiciously made the blonde relax a little (which meant he was tension filled a moment prior). "How often do you have free time to visit here, anyway?"
"A few times a month." He answered in his monotone voice, and looked at Mito. "However, something came up and I don't think I'll be seeing any of you for a while."
"Eh?" Almost everyone couldn't help but utter out. Illumi's eyes slid down to the table, an act that felt degrading but inevitable. Illumi felt heavy, despite wearing such light clothing. He almost said something apologetic, but he never uttered such words before—so he didn't say it.
Not by words, anyway.
"It wasn't something I could refuse." He said, thinking of something entirely out-of-context for them.
"Everyone has a choice." Gon said almost absent-mindedly, but she suddenly looked so much more stern. Illumi began to notice the atmosphere shifting even further.
"Gon, want to spar again after this? I think I'll win this time." Kurapika said, effectively cutting her off.
Illumi wondered if it was done on purpose and looked at the blonde deeply. However, whichever case it was, Gon didn't seem to have minded and just beamed in the way women in this family beamed.
Kurapika gave Gon a small smile, before sending Illumi a wary glance, and finished up his food. But at the action, he noted an unreadable expression on Mito's face. She got paler.
Regardless, the youngest ran out as soon as they were done.
…
The adults finished their food a little later than the others, and before then the table was completely silent. Grandma was the one who broke it as she started to take the plates.
"Mito." She said, easily catching his attention. She was looking deeply at the Mito. "You look tired." "You should rest a little earlier tonight."
"Are you unwell, Mito?" He asked as soon as the old woman finished her sentence. His eyebrows furrowed involuntarily, and his already plastered frown deepened.
Really, he saw no sense in worrying now, but he did. "Is this still the shellfish?"
"A-Ah. I'm fine." She smiled in reply. But it was another one that didn't reach her eyes, and it reminded her of that day years ago. She kissed his cheek before he could ask anything.
"I'm just a little tired." She admitted. "You should rest too." And she went up to her room without another word.
…
Gon stretched her arms fully above her head as she felt the fresh mountain air that hit her the moment she walked out the door. It was already well into the night, and it would make the game all the more exciting. She made a satisfied moan as she did so and stared at the stars.
Besides, it was particularly liberating to be away from the mysterious stranger she feared for no apparent reason. She also hoped the adults would be able to fix their dilemma (she was rarely a help with those issues, she thought), and she hoped Mito would finally tell him. It was his child, too, after all. He should know. And maybe he'd change his mind about putting his job first.
"So what rules are we going to play this time?" She asked and turned to Kurapika who followed her through the door.
However, her excited smile disappeared when she saw how serious his face was. He was partly facing the interior of the house, before he dragged her further away from the house. "Be careful what you say to Illumi, Gon."
"What?"
"I don't think we should let him know Mito's—" Then he stopped, whipping his head towards the house again. "He's coming here." Gon didn't flinch, she felt his presence too. And it was strong. She began to wonder again why she shivered in terror when she first saw the man.
And then a thought occurred to Kurapika—was it worth it to leave the house to tell Gon his thoughts? What if Illumi was going to harm the other two women?
A feeling of dread washed over him.
He saw—watched—Mito and Illumi's interaction with a critical eye. Kurapika didn't realize he had been counting on the fact that Illumi could have genuine feelings for Mito when he left them alone in the house, the fact that he was wearing normal clothes and didn't act as cold as he could get added to that.
How could he have even hoped for that? Illumi Zoldyck…? To care about someone outside his family was nonsense—he should have known better. He was about to run to the house's interior, but then he sensed him getting closer.
"Did you do anything to them, Illumi?" He asked out loud before he even saw him. Gon looked at him, startled and confused, before following his line of sight again as Illumi emerged.
"You mean aside from helping them with cleaning the table?" He asked with that trademark monotone of his, but it reeked of irony, and it made Kurapika all the much worried.
Should he tell him? No. Knowing Illumi, Mito being pregnant probably wouldn't change his mind. It might even make him want to finish her faster.
"Stop fooling around Illumi—what are you planning to do to them?" He said, stepping closer to get Gon behind him, throwing her much further into confusion. It will all be clear soon Gon, I hope, he mumbled as a sort of unvoiced apology before sending a glare to the ebony-haired Zoldyck. "You're an assassin, who lives all the way in another continent. What do you 'think' I'll assume?"
"He's a what?" Gon yelled before unconsciously stepping closer. Kurapika extended his hand to keep her in place. "Kurapika!" She called, pleading. "What's going on?"
"He's Killua's brother, Gon." He said, rather sharply, and he mused even Gon probably didn't miss the bitterness in his words. "He's probably the one who made you forget all about him."
She couldn't speak for a while, she was pale and her mouth was open gaping. Illumi just watched them like the statue that he could be. After a few long seconds she inhaled as much oxygen as she could and exhaled loudly, to compose herself.
Still, not a lot of words came to mind. "Is this true?" She said, gulping, and tilted her head to look at the accused lover of her beloved aunt.
Illumi didn't answer. He even shrugged, as if to show that he didn't care of what she thought and that meant he didn't care what he'd do to anyone in the vicinity. Kurapika automatically released an offensive amount of aura at that.
Illumi did the same and, after a second of paralyzing shock, Gon followed her instincts and partially mimicked them.
So what Killua warned her about was true?, she thought, a familiar feeling of alarm passing through her veins. If so, then—
"W-Why are you here right now, Illumi?"
Illumi stared at her for a while, and she increased her aura in an attempt to get him speaking. Illumi was impressed, actually, the girl had grown. He knew she would be troublesome, she proved that before, but now she proved that she'd be more of a threat. His father made a lethal mistake of sending her to her father.
"Killua told me to stay away!" She said, remembering the memory in the clearing with bitterness she wasn't used to feeling. Her pitch a little higher than usual, and Illumi gave her a knowing stare—as he watched the whole thing, just before sending Killua that warning attack.
"For everyone's sake, perhaps it's time you seriously think of listening to him."
There was a big lump on Gon's throat that rendered her unable to speak for many moments. She tried to picture what Killua's family could do to them. They weren't very clear images, but she felt scared regardless. Somehow she could feel she was missing something here—the anxiety she was supposed to be feeling, probably roused by the lack of memory of what these people could do.
"I…" She paused, taking in enough oxygen to be audible. "…plan on doing that."
"I know you, Gon." Illumi responded almost immediately in his trademark monotone voice. "You are a naïve and stubborn girl."
"I won't!" She said. "Just don't hurt them." Gon croaked. "Please."
And once more, a heavy tension-filled silence occupied the hill, and for a moment Illumi looked as if he was considering her request. Kurapika took the moment to materialize his chains, to be better prepared. But what he said next made Kurapika freeze.
"What if I tell you I was sent here to kill Mito?"
"You're what?!" Gon yelled, and then she recalled every one of Killua's warnings— word for word, expression by expression—all of which she had been so stubborn about truly listening to.
"Is she—Oh my goodness." But the fresh and shocking image of her aunt and her grandma and their other friends lifeless—she never pictured it until now, perhaps believing it wouldn't ever happen—was something that she wouldn't be able to erase from her head.
Her insides dropped so hard that she had no idea how she could still be standing.
A burst of aura escaped Gon and for a moment the two gaped in awe at the intensity and beauty of it. But Kurapika felt the coldness of his chain and he quickly pulled himself together.
They were too close to the house. This was too intense for the two women to witness. He extended his arm released his chain to the direction of the house and felt two heartbeats.
One was steady, or at least forcing itself so, albeit it was obviously strained. The other—
"They're both fine, Gon!" Kurapika said firmly, concentrating his chain and felt the two's life forces. Another complication had emerged and it would become even more complicated if these two found out right now. "Please Gon, don't let those two see us like this."
Gon's perturbation calmed down a little at his words, but she did not diminish the aura she just let out. Illumi lifted his needles, perhaps defensively, and the mere action made Gon freeze.
"I will make sure she will not go against your deal." Kurapika said, sternly, trying to avoid looking at the house. "Those two are important to Gon—as you may already know. She will not risk them, especially not when you're so close.
"Just don't bring them into this again."
The silence was so strenuous then. It was heavy enough to make the weakest heart faint.
"Very well." Illumi said to break it, perhaps a little too easily.
"For your sake, do not fail."
.
"Before I go..." Illumi said, just before turning around. "I'd like to inform you he's already engaged to someone who suits him."
Kurapika and Gon weren't able to say anything in response, and Illumi seemed to have taken it as a sign for him to leave.
"In any case..." He said, turning around and for an instant—so quickly only the quickest and alert eyes would've been able to see—he looked at the direction of the house. Kurapika knew why and thought that Illumi wore an even harder façade than usual. Until that moment, he didn't think it was possible.
"Tell Mito I bid my goodbyes."
…
Both of them caught their breaths before going inside the house. But the moment they stepped inside the house their feet stopped moving, like suddenly there was hard glue by the door's threshold that kept them from moving.
Mito's figure was dark and in a protective fetal position on a corner by the door. Grandma was patting her back with her eyebrows so furrowed and her eyes with intensity that had been alien on the oldest woman's face… until now.
Gon immediately ran to Mito while Kurapika saw in his mind eye what she was doing there, even when he already sensed them there early on. She had heard the commotion—and judging by the face of shock and terror on her face, she heard everything that Illumi said.
As he expected, there was no need to pass down what Illumi asked them to say. Although Kurapika truly wished that wasn't the case.
Mito remained crouched, her face hidden by her shaking palms, and she was trying her best to be quiet. However, everything about her situation—her wild shaking, the struggling breaths, the wild heartbeat—were enough to make everyone around her panic.
"Calm down, Mito-san…" Gon whispered vehemently, holding her arm. "Please."
"H-How can I?" She squeaked. "He—Illumi—"
She wasn't able to utter anything else and just buried her head deeper to herself and they knew she had yet to suffer a greater pain. They wanted to be mad at Illumi, but right now Mito occupied their heads.
"If you don't you could have a miscarriage, Mito-san." Gon said, as calmly as she could, meeting Kurapika's eyes. He saw that even Gon was tearing up and thought that had he been given slightly more sensitive tear glands, Kurapika thought he probably would be in the same predicament.
"Do you want that to happen?"
Fortunately, her sobs went down a little at Gon's words. But the tears kept flowing—the heel of her palm the only thing trying to stop the flow. None of them had any idea how to comfort her.
So, they just stayed with her until she cried herself to sleep.
…
Gon never took her eyes off Mito: from her curled figure on the floor to when Kurapika took her form and carried her to her room, and all to way to the moment she finally laid down her bed and looking opposite to what she had been feeling.
They had already sent grandma to rest, who had to agree reluctantly, because an old soul could only take so much disappointment and despair in one day—especially after living so many decades in peace. And after wiping the tears off Mito's face, Gon—who was then sitting on the side of her bed—turned her head to Kurapika. "You should go get some rest as well, Kurapika." She said, so quietly. "I can stay here by myself."
"But do you wish to be alone right now?"
She smiled at him sadly.
They both knew the answer to that.
…
Kurapika walked around the forest to clear his mind, knowing well that Gon was unsure whether or not she wanted to be alone. He understood that. She wanted to be able to brood without worrying anyone, but Gon was also the type of person who loved people and their company.
He decided to return to Mito's room a little later to check up on the two women. It was almost midnight when he returned.
Gon was sitting on the window's sill, form uncharacteristically stiff, and one of her temples against its jamb. "This was my fault you know."
He sighed and sat beside her, thankful the sill could hold them both and was big enough for the both of them. Somehow he wasn't surprised she ended up in that conclusion after all that time.
"You know that isn't true." He said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder to let her head rest on his.
"You should go to sleep now." "I'll even read you a story." He even added jokingly, trying to make her feel a little better. He half-hoped she'd agree though. Was he a bad person for taking advantage of this situation to create little moments with her?
She gave him a weak smile in response.
"Thank you, Kurapika." She said but the tone meant to say a polite refusal. Kurapika only smiled in response, the forgiving sort, and he only tightened his hold of her. His head moving it his chin would rest over her head. It was comforting for him. He hoped he was giving her the same relief.
"What else is on your mind?"
"It would've been easier if I can be mad at him with all my heart." He blinked at this, stirring from position slightly.
"Aren't you?"
"Everyone warned me off." "I pushed on." "He might've harmed a few friends already." She enumerated. "And now the people I love are being threatened by him. But…
"Didn't you think he left too easily?" She whispered, her voice oozing with doubt. "I don't think I'll be able to forgive him for all he's done, no matter what it was for, but—
"At first I really thought he'd do it—" She said, turning her head to face him. They were even closer again, all of a sudden. "I didn't get that feeling often. Especially after knowing what he did to me." "That's why, I thought…" She turned her head to look at Mito.
This time, Kurapika did not disagree. He was even a little relieved he wasn't alone in his thoughts that felt so blasphemous to say out loud. He released his hold of her shoulders then but the distance between them didn't increase.
"Tragic, isn't it?" He whispered.
And he meant that in so many ways.
…
He walked her to her room's door. It felt like hours, the time they spent walking. And he couldn't believe that it was still her birthday. He wanted to ask about Killua—considering he knew Killua, at least before Illumi's reappearance, would've been the best gift for Gon—but he kept his mouth shut. She didn't need this now. Right now he'd just be there.
"Must be sad." She said somewhere along the way, and she looked as if she didn't mean to say it out loud. "To be betrayed by someone you love."
He wondered if she, too, felt betrayed, whether or not she was conscious of it. But whichever it was, his mouth uncharacteristically revealed a deep-lying thought he had been harbouring for a long time.
"I would never betray you Gon."
She stiffened a little before whipping her head to look at him, probably trying to decipher where the statement came from and what it meant. But looking at her rich golden orbs he could see it: his words made something snap inside her. And she probably didn't even know it.
At the back of his head he could see his hand moving to touch her neck—
He didn't know what it was nor what it meant but it was more than enough, it seemed, for him to do what he had always, always, wanted to do:
To kiss her.
At the ripe age of twenty two, he had never kissed anyone. It had been too intimate an act to do with anybody he didn't seem fit. He had, however, imagined it countless times—but this was beyond pleasurable.
It was electrifying.
As he felt her lips against his—so soft and so warm—he could tell a part of him couldn't believe this was happening. The other part didn't think it was happening: that this was another part of his pitiful imagination. But it was happening, all the sensations that couldn't be felt with mere visualization proved it.
Ah, he thought sardonically. Mito was right.
His heart did make that traitorous blow, after all.
When she didn't move from the initial touch—perhaps due to shock, or perhaps (hopefully) that something else—he changed the angle of his head.
And he realized she was kissing him back.
But as he planted soft chaste kisses, she was becoming less responsive, frozen even, and the grip she had on his shoulders softened and he pushed him away.
It was a gentle push, but it still felt as if he was hit in the gut by bricks.
"I can't…"
Killua was still in her mind, he snapped at himself—ears ringing to the point of deafness—even when she couldn't really remember him.
Cruel
He was cruel.
Perhaps it was something that had to happen—this rejection, to him particularly. She certainly didn't deserve any additional complications in her life, but he did so anyway. Kissing her had been impulsive, selfish, and wasn't like him at all.
She stared at him, imploring him to say something. She was forcing herself to look at him, he knew well how hard it was—he was personally experiencing it at the moment.
Still, after a long moment of frozen silence, he managed a shy smile and shook his head. "You don't have anything to apologize about." He said, surprised he sounded so much calmer than he felt, and touched her cheek and silently thanked her for not wincing away.
He leaned down to kiss her cheeks—a platonic kiss, but no less loving. "Good night Gon." He said, before turning away to give her space.
As he walked away, he could feel her eyes following his form and he found himself wondering what she was thinking.
Kurapika didn't apologize not because he thought what he did was right. It was because as selfish as it was he thought that he—after him pining for her for so long—deserved to cause even a little perturbation in her mind?
At least she'd be thinking of me tonight, he said to himself, looking at himself in a disapproving sort of light, mixed with vindictive satisfaction.
He had at least that to keep him sane for the night.
He'd deal with the consequences later.
.
.
END OF CHAPTER 12
Coming Soon:
CHAPTER 13: Nostalgia x Reappearance x Trade
Opportunities presented themselves, some are acted upon while some are ignored.
Now it is time to finally choose a path to take.
REPLIES TO ANGELS
Suntan140 – Oh she will, no worries~ xD I'll have to do some other things first though (i.e. make him get over his trauma). Anyway, thank you for commenting! :D
Yuki Candy Heart – Let us chant together. Don't do it, Illumi. xD DON'T FRIGGIN DO IT. Anyway, hope what I decided on doing is fine~Thx for commenting~ xD
Guest [Set 09 2014] – If it'll help I can say the kiss a few chapters back is pretty much the closest they'll be. xD Sorry for scaring you! Haha. Thank you for commenting, btw~
Slytherin Studios – Thank you for reviewing~! xD And that question is answered in this chap. Hehe. I hope I didn't disappoint. :D
Pri-Chan 1410 – awww glad you loved the chapter. Thank you for reviewing and here's the next chapter! Hahaha. Hope it was entertaining enough lol.
LittleChomper – Lol. Dream on Nerys. Haha. Well, my take on the whole Illumi x Baby thing will be shown in this chap. Haha. Don't kill me. xD And most importantly, thank you for reviewing~
Digilover23 – Aww *brofist* so glad I managed to cheer you up! And yes, the reunion thing is coming soon (you know, in relation to my update rate lol). And YES. Illumi's undergoing karma atm hehe, good for him. xD Thx for reviewing btw~!
Lexzly – Hahaha. You're not alone. One of the fun parts of writing Nerys is when I make her suffer (which is every time lol). And yep~ Alluka actually has a pretty big role here. *wink* Thanks for reviewing! :D
Phoenix-Thunder – IKR. I just hope I give Nerys an even better role someday… hahaha. And it's not short, you just write supremely long chapters! Haha. I just hope what I did with the Illumi thing in this chap didn't disappoint! Thank you for reviewinG~! :D
XHunterzX – Hahah glad you found the goody pair (KuraGon) moment cute then! And lol, if it eases your mind Nerys really doesn't stand a chance. xD Thank you for reviewing ! :D
Trizsh15 – Yeah, Silva. But *whispers* notice how he's just watching Illumi's reactions *whispers* Anyway, Illumi shall suffer. Hail Karma! xDD And cool! You read my fem!Ryoma fics also. Aww that's sweet. :D Oh, and finally, thank you for reviewing! Lol. I'm so looking forward to that hint of yours. Hihi
Sierra. Steinbrecher – Thank you for reviewing~ xD And yep, don't worry! I value my life enough not to make Killua and Nerys closer than they already are. Plus Nerys just doesn't stand a chance. *wink*
Guest [ Sept 09 2014] – (ch1) Thank you for reviewing! And yep, I try to update weekly—depends on you readers of mine primarily. I'm so glad you like my writing! I'll try to keep it up. xD
XKilluaX – IKR. Darn you school! Me too, if I hadn't outlined the story already I probably would take a month to update. xD Thanks for reviewing and glad you still love my stories~ :D
chiharuSAICHI – hahah glad you're enjoying the whole Illumi karma thing as much as I do. xD Here's the next chap! Hope you enjoyed and oh, Thx for commenting~
Multicolored Lotus –Well, at least you're here now, ne? xD And I hope what I did with Illumi's situation didn't disappoint~! Lol Thank you for reviewing~
Aeva elementia – Yes, yes there will be clashes. No one important will die tho hahah. Glad you empathize with Nerys btw, and thank you for reviewing~
Dolce-tasie – Thank you for reviewing! Haha. I hope the events I chose to do was fine enough lol. Glad you thought the chap was cool btw! I'll do my best to continue. :D
CursedXQueenXDoll – Yay glad you loved it! And I'm glad you checked. xD Lol. Anwyays, if it'll make you feel better, Nerys really doesn't stand a chance. Haha. Thank you for reviewing btw~
Bluelup28 – Ahaha well this chap answered you Illumi question! xD Hope it didn't disappoint, but do tell me what you thought. xD And Thank you for reviewing! :D
drawingRAMPAGE x 3 – Yep. I can only go this fast because you angels are so awesome. xD And good thinking! I'm sure you can go through anything with that mindset. ;) Now for the next two reviews. I already told you how much I appreciate you reviewing long, reactive, and adorable ones despite using mobile, right? haha. I'll say it again. Thank you for reviewing~ xDD And btw, don't worry about Nerys. She stands no chance. xD And advanced HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D
mytiaaa – N'aw don't be sad because this chapter—oh wait did I just spoil you? Lol. Anyway, I hope this chapter was entertaining enough, despite the angst lol. Thx for the review!
Miu Di Nuvola – Oh lol. Yes, let us chant together! Illumi don't do it damnit! xD Did it go through? Lol. I hope what I decided on this chap didn't disappoint~
Duskofdawns – Ohh I'm interested in how things would've panned out if those things happened. Hmn…Anyway, glad you actually like Nerys~! Ahaha *brofist* Anyway, thank you for reviewing! And I must see that fanart! xD
Guest [Sept 10 2014] a.k.a. Ringo – Well then, glad she's playing her role well~! I won't say anything else tho cuz' I might spoil. Hehe. Thank you for reviewing! ;)
TECKK – Ah~ I understand your sentiments. But alas! I must get Killua to overcome his traumas first. That will come soon, I swear. xD And thank you for reviewing, and glad you liked the chapter! :D
Grapes – Thank you for reviewing! Haha. Relieved to know you liked the suspence xD And here's the next chap! Hope it was entertaining enough~! :D
Darlingfedz - Thank you for reviewing! Soo glad you liked it!And don't worry. Nerys doesn't have a chance. xD About the bday tho... don't expect too much! And since they didn't celebrate bdays in canon… I assumed they just don't so… hehe
NariGray – haha yay! And yep, I will keep going. xD So excited how it'll turn out, too!. Anyway glad you liked the chapter and thank you for reviewing~!
Jonica77 – haha I like that expression. 'Illumi is in hot soup!' indeed he is. xD Anyway, hope this chapter didn't disappoint and thx for reviewing! :D
KG-Ai – Awww you mean the poem you posted on facebook? It's adorable. :D And lol, don't worry! Killua will be able to resist, indeed! Hahaha. Anyway, thank yoouu for reviewing and Tokiko-chan and you are super cute. xD
Guest [sept 11 2014] – (ch2) lololol IKR. Ging will show up eventually. Not so soon tho. (ch11) Ah, the Ging and Agathat ship. It will sail in the far future. Hahah. As of now tho… I shall focus on the kids. Thanks for the reviews, btw! :D
FattyKitty – Don't worry, even I won't kill Mito. Hope what I decided to do doesn't disappoint tho, esp. since I have my doubts, but do tell me whatever you thought. Thank you for commenting, by the way~!
Tochiome-chan – Lololol IKR. When it's the other girl being persistent is super annoying. It's a trait charming only for heroines. Haha. And Thank you for commenting!
Jennosaur – lololol. Glad you liked the cliffy then! (You did, right? Lol) Anyway, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint but do tell me what you thought. Thx for reviewing~
Queen of the Avast Seas – Gon and Killua already kissed! Gon wasn't aware of it but still. Hahaha. Anyway, don't worry about Nerys and Illumi. Hihi. And thank you for commenting! :DD
Bearsofalthain – (Ch10) lolol it's a good thing you didn't! haha and yay! Glad you liked the filler. xDD (ch11) IKR. I'll try to make the whole 'figuring out' thing decent and believable enough but I can't guarantee anything. Haha. Oh, and thank you for the reviews~! *brofist*
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Thanks for reading!
I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
And please do me a favour of telling me what you thought of this chappy! Hihi