Sorry for taking so long! Just going to take a moment and give virtual hugs to those who supported me thus far—especially the vocal readers. Seriously guys, any more of you disappearing on me would be such a bummer. Anyway, enjoy~
Oh, and we're approaching a new arc folks! Climb aboard! Hueheueheu
Disclaimer: I wish I own Hunter x Hunter.
...
CHAPTER 22: Broken x Glass x Mending
Everything happened in such slow motion that she barely even registered whatever was coming out of her mouth. All she knew was that she was covered in his blood, her hands applying pressure to his horrendous wound, and her ears ringing at the sight of him coughing blood.
Nonono
He turned him over to his side and applied pressure to the wound. His lungs were punctured. She would've gulped if she was breathing. What else could be damaged?
She quickly turned to see Alluka, who was then crouching beside her. Heal Killua, she pleaded, but Alluka's eyes were wide, blank, and when she finally got enough sense to raise her hand and touch Killua—nothing happened.
"Did I… Did I do that?" came from behind. Zushi. Her blood boiled for something different—more destructive, but seeing the sudden light of realization in his eyes told her he had no idea what he just did. And he would be suffering from this as much as she was. And he would continue to be in pain for even longer.
She ran over to him to press the Nurse's button. "HELP!" She yelled, and it didn't take the nurses long before they arrived. For seconds they stared at the scene, their faces losing color from what seemed to be losing blood in shock. But the seconds felt like minutes and she wasn't able to stop the burst of aura that caused the glass behind her out to shatter and fall on the greenery outside.
"What the hell are you doing!?" She bellowed. "HELP HIM!"
Forcing themselves out of stupor, the medical team did as they were told. They swiftly but carefully put him on a hospital bed and rushed him to the operating room. No one was able to stop her from getting in with them, the biggest doctor wasn't even able to pull her away with all his force. All she did was blankly promise she would not interfere.
The female doctor was talking with the other as their pace with operating quickened. Gon could follow every procedure being done, but she didn't really understand. They were huffing and their voices cracking—particularly the assistants who were reporting Killua's status—but no-one was giving up.
She watched as one of the nurses raised a folder and read Killua's files. One of the doctors gasped at something the reporter said. "Impossible! I'm surprised he's still alive!"
"He's not giving up," Gon said as calmly as she could meters away from them, back against the cold wall. The coldness emanating from her could be felt even by the most insensitive person. It made them shiver as soon as they realized it the sensation was there. The way her eyes travelled from one doctor to another did not keep them calmer. "I dare you not do the same."
They tried and tried and the disbelief on their faces every time the report—about his internal organs, his heartbeat—was made. Hours had passed already. This boy is supposed to be dead. But he was far from a normal human. And Gon simply couldn't picture him dead.
A wave of tears threatened at the mere thought but the sound of his heart beating—not from the machine but the sound coming directly from his heart—kept her sane. But she could see it: after hours of keeping him alive, the doctors were losing hope. They could not lose hope. Killua deserved anyone's faith more than anyone.
But then, at the vague memories, something incredibly blurry but the ambiguous and hazy images made her heart churn as they passed by her head. An image of Gonta and his child… five years ago.
"Let me do it." She said and they stared at her in disbelief. She was pretty sure she was forgotten after the hours of silence. Still, the head surgeon took a step.
"But Miss—"
Gon raised her hand. "You can't do anything," she told him bluntly. "Don't you want to try everything to save him?"
She hovered her hands over him, as if giving him her blessing, and concentrated light surrounded them both. The doctors, unable to see what was happening, could only gape at the unusual humbling sensation that was occupying their senses.
Gon, on the other hand, as she felt she was somehow helping Killua recover… only thanked God she was a reinforcement user.
…
Killua was left to rest in a room adjacent to Zushi's. The doctors said his breathing had stabilized and his heartbeat constant. He told her, however, he'd remain bedridden for at least three months. She told him they were hunters—strong ones—and the surgeon said then Killua'd recover consciousness in one.
Gon felt heavy. She was thankful for knowing Killua would live. And then there was the fact he was into this situation because of her.
"Gon?"
She turned to the source of the voice, the fatigue was too much for her to know who it was. He was standing weakly by the door, eyes lining with tears. "Zushi," she uttered monotonously, and she did not say anything else.
"I…I—I don't know what I—" he cried, gesturing to sit up but to no avail. "It was like I was being controlled I—"
Those symptoms were much too familiar that even she got the connection immediately. Her aura went berserk again, and Zushi's eyes widened in terror, but it was tears of remorse that came. "I-I-I'm so sorry."
"I…I'm not—This is Illumi's fault, I know it." she mumbled. "It isn't yours. Neither Killua nor I would like to see you suffer; Even more so when you've already lost everything." She was lying. Of course she felt a little resentment. It was irrational and mean and bad but Killua's situation would forever be associated with Zushi's attack and her safety.
A human's heart was simply that fragile. Like glass.
There was silence between them for a while. It was broken by the sudden opening of the double doors. It was Alluka. Looking at her, an expression of panic and fear so alien to her face, Gon knew the nurses probably found her looking for Killua and took him to his room to try her abilities again. Hope swelled in her chest. Alluka had more than enough time to compose herself.
"G-Gon!" She yelled. "I—oniichan. He—"
The hope for a quick recovery dissipated. Alluka was sobbing. Gon didn't even consider that it would fail again. Which, cruelly, it did.
The three of them stood by the side of Killua's bed, watching him sleep with so many equipment around him. Alluka extended her arms, but the tears on her eyes only increased. "I…" Alluka mumbled through her tears. "Nanika isn't coming out." She sniffed and sent Gon a look of despair, pleading her to explain. "Why?"
"I'm not sure." Gon said patting the younger Zoldyck's head. She didn't deserve to feel this pressure. "He'll be fine. It'll just take time. And by then Nanika would be back with you two again." She said, feigning nonchalance for the younger teen. "I think you need the rest from all the wishes, anyway." She said. After all, the reason why Nanika didn't show could be that because it was tired. Or had had enough of their wishes. She should've known asking for all those things would backfire on them.
But she didn't even have the time to blame herself because at that exact moment a tingle ran down her spine, and not the good sort. A presence, a familiar one—one she distinctly remembered in Whale island, and she knew he was the primary cause of Killua's suffering. It seemed that even after everything, he still haunted them.
Illumi. That bastard.
The nerve of him. Then again, at least she wouldn't have to hunt him down.
She stood there in the hallway a few meters from Killua's door, as if making a wall. Alluka and Zushi stood nervously behind her, the latter on his leg supports and shivering out of instinctive fear. Fearful silence passed by the corridor then, the dark aura notified the nurses' instincts not to go in. Gon infuriated and Illumi's assessing eyes never left the other.
"I'd like to see my brother."
She frowned. "You have no right after what you've done to him." She said, words cold enough to stab. Illumi hid his intimidation behind his unusually pitless orbs well. "Especially when it is your fault. It was you who made Zushi do it didn't you?"
"It was set five years ago." He said. "And it was meant for you."
She gritted her teeth and sprinted toward him. Of course she knew it was meant for her—but she wasn't naïve enough to put most of the blame on herself. Illumi must pay.
They were steady attacks and Illumi only defended, stepping back every hit. Gon was pushing him across the corridor and, when they reached the corner, she kept pushing until Illumi's back hit the translucent surface. And with one punch, they ended up breaking the window curtain and fell to the ground.
The attack had been meant for her. He put the needle when his father spared her. That meant Zushi had been suffering for a while due to his teacher's death before Illumi even delayed his suffering.
The fight had been went on for minutes. But with their pace the attacks placed exceeded those in normal fights that lasted for over an hour. What made everything worse was Illumi wasn't even fighting back!
"Don't mock me." She said firmly allowing a good amount of aura to overflow. Illumi's eyes widened and she knew he didn't expect she had so much power. He held out a few needles, ready to fight. But the lack of hostility and killer aura bothered Gon. Why did Ilumi suddenly had to act so… so counter-intuitively?
Then she remembered this man impregnated Mito. Even when the Illumi she associated with Mito, and the Illumi that she had come to know did not match, still—how could that slip out her mind?! "You were trying to kill me after what you've done?" She said evenly, even when her voice was cracking. "Then what about Mito-san? Why did you even get close to her?"
She couldn't think of anything that would make him do it. He couldn't have had feelings for Mito. You don't try to kill one's most important person if you truly loved her. In her rage, she rummaged her head for motivations by twisted individuals. She was no longer that naïve little girl that couldn't even think of a bad motive, let alone internalize one.
When she came up with one that made sense, her blood simmered. "You were using her?!" Illumi's affectation infuriated her. She did not even think over the fact that she was partly looking for more reasons on to be unreasonably mad and go for blood.
She could feel it. The bloodlust coursing through her veins, fighting with the very fabric of her being, much like a creature getting out of its caccoon. Her once bright eyes never left his internally blank ones. "Illumi.." She chanted, the anger continuing to boil inside her. She could feel something—something dark—was about to be released. Almost like she was about to cut a thread that kept a part of her together.
"I'll kill you!"
.
"Stop! She whipped her head towards the direction of the familiar voice, feeling that psychological scissors hovering over the thread of purity she had been holding on. The release halted, but the anger simmered still. At the moment, hitting the intruders—every single one of them, whoever they were—wasn't out of the question.
"GON!" It was Alluka, with Zushi right behind her, both panting in rush to getting to them in time. Gon didn't voice out anything because at the moment hostile words needed to come out of her mouth. Whether it was something could decide or simply something she decided, she didn't bother on dwelling on them.
But that look in the young Alluka's eyes told Gon she was sensing what would happen—what was in Gon's heart. "This isn't how onii-chan described you."
She took a moment to see herself under the dark aura that surrounded her, Killua's blood still covered her hands and her dress. She did not make it disappear. She didn't want to. She couldn't afford to.
Killua couldn't have put her in a spotless pedestal. Killua wasn't blind. Gon was morally neutral: Rather than seeing the good in everyone, she had rarely seen them as the contrary, unless they showed themselves so. That was what Illumi had been incessantly proving: that he was an evil heartless monster.
…right?
"He said you do not judge people," Alluka told her as if she had given her a cue to speak. "You are selfishly curious and you think everyone should be too." The girl said as firmly as she could, but she was shaking. "But you accepted him for who he was—and you loved him for it. You stayed by his side no matter what, because you know that is what will make him feel happy.
"And you do not lose yourself because you know people would get hurt."
Gon could only stare. Her heart was swelling and a part of it was because Alluka simply never spoke so much—she never told her so much. But it seemed her stubbornness didn't only work for acts with good intentions. However, it was not enough to make all the black thoughts stop hovering over Gon's head.
"Why are you defending him?" She said pointing at Illumi, who continued to say nothing. "She was the one who programmed Zushi to do this, he was the one who vetoed your freedom, he was the one who made all our lives miserable!"
"Does it matter?" Alluka retorted, straightening her stance like it would help the incoherency go away. But her stance softened immediately afterwards as she continued speaking. "I have always dreamed about you you know—the woman whom my brother loved so so much." She paused, inhaling. "I also had a dream, you two were talking. You were saying you two have been through so much… but you still ended up together.
"Your mind wanted to kill…," Alluka cracked. She was breaking into a sob. "I-It's as if… as if you no longer care what he would think afterwards!" Gon froze. The accusations in Alluka's huge ebony eyes were unmistakable: Why are you acting like my brother will never return?
Putting down her hostile aura, she looked at Illumi. His expression was still unreadable, but the cold aura that she always saw with him wasn't there. There probably never was since he got there. "Why are you here?"
"I wanted to see my brother." He said, stepping forward. He gracefully moved to his back and revealed a knife, which made everyone flinch. But she handed it to Gon, who reluctantly took its handle. He then held her arm and gestured it so the knife would be against his neck.
"I will take away the needle that blocks your memory of him." He said. "Kill me if I do anything else."
She gasped as he raised his hand, and she unconsciously closed the knife to his throat. He froze along with her and they stayed there for a while, stiff and guarded, until Illumi's face soften so slightly but her hold of the knife still softened in response.
She could feel his icy fingers passing through her skull. It was painful, a sharp pain, and she thought she'd react slowly even if Illumi was trying to kill her. She winced and truly pondered on slashing his throat before it was too late when a wave of memories passed by her head. All of them of Killua, all the things they did together, and his different sides.
Her sights fully blurred with tears, her hand no longer having the energy to hold the knife, and her knees soon buckled so she'd be sobbing by herself on the grass. She could only cover her face, but it did no help in stopping the tears. She was sure she didn't want to stop it either, like she ruptured a dam of tears and had the full intention of letting it dry out. It was a flow of grief and happiness that couldn't be stopped.
She sat there for a while, ignoring the others who stood by silently and patiently waiting for her to recover. Gon eventually stood up and noticed the others had not moved. "I'm fine now," She said to Zushi and Alluka. And then turned to Illumi. "What are you going to do?"
"I'm just going to see him. Nothing more," he told her. "I love my brother."
"Why would you do this in the first place?" she snapped back, albeit it did not have the same venom she expected it to have. "You don't the person you love to suffer."
"I do not expect you to understand." He then conjured another needle. Gon stepped back by instinct. "But given our circumstances…, I rather want you to."
Her eyes twitched. "You are not going to force me to understand."
"This is a memory needle, a copy of my own memory." He said monotonously, raising it, and telling her he never had to use it before. "I am a man of few words. And my words too cold and blunt. I'd rather show you."
"Why would I trust you?"
Illumi was silent for a while before turning his head to Alluka. "Make a wish then—for me to die if I try to do you harm again."
Gon did not say Alluka was unable to take wishes right now, but it was enough. "No need," was her response and she only stared at him afterwards: a signal that he could carry on. Illumi gave her an acknowledging nod a millisecond she felt a brain freeze she never experienced before. It was so abrupt that she wasn't even able to finish uttering a moan of pain before images appeared in her sights, appearing in mere flashes, yet she understood them all as if the memories were all her own.
Images of Illumi torturing Killua: pushing him in wells, putting him out naked on the snow for days, electrocuting him, inflicting him wounds, and so so much more. But oddly Gon did not feel mad, because she was feeling what Illumi was. And what he was still feeling.
I need him strong, he told himself for years. I need him to be the strongest. So no one else can hurt him.
More images, each becoming more difficult to watch—but Gon watched on, whether or not she had a choice.
Then memories of Killua growing, and always always asking Illumi for advice or help when he needed it. She realized that other than Alluka, Illumi was Killua closest siblings, even when it was dominated by fear.
Then Killua left.
Then images of him with her during the hunter exam.
He shouldn't be smiling, he shouldn't be laughing…, he should be making friends. Those are weaknesses. They are going to get him killed someday.
Then the moment that they decided to pull the apart.
And then an image of Mito laughing in the balcony, the setting sun making her looked even brighter.
"I never intended to get close to Mito," he told her while she was in a trance. But she heard every word. "She pulled me in."
"I always looked down—disappointed—on Killua for falling for your charms." Gon could only stare, attention partly on him and the other half on the memories. "Now I see we were no different."
And he disappeared.
…
A few days later Kurapika and the others arrived, informing her of Senritsu's funeral. Many of their old friends were there—many hugging her and telling her they really thought she was dead. They chatted in Killua's large room, and even though he was sleeping the whole time—she could swear he was sleeping with a smile.
Seeing many friends ready to take care of Killua, Gon decided to fly to Whale Island with Zushi for a few days. She arrived a little over a day later.
She visited Mito and her growing belly, to refer Zushi to the Kruengers. "This will be your home now, Zushi." She said to him and the boy's face brightened. Although he was definitely surprised seeing such a young woman being referred to with such reverence. At least on Gon's standards. "This is Bisuke," Gon told him with a smile. "She's Wing-san's master."
"…EH?"
Gon ignored Zushi's disbelieving gape and smiled at Bisuke. "Can we count on you?"
"Of course! I even know a great place where a kid like you would grow." She chirped with that characteristic energy of hers and leaned down, a finger raised, as if she was telling him a secret. "Greed Island."
Zushi knew this place, of course—Gon and Killua contacted him and Zushi right before they entered—and Zushi brightened in excitement. It was then that Gon's eyes gravitated towards what his father (and Bisuke) affectionately called 'the rat'. "I think it's time to see what Ging's bragging about." He said with a smirk and Gon couldn't help but chuckle.
"There's also a girl who turns her bath water to gold. She's sparkly."
One of his eyebrows rose. "Someone who sparkles more than I?" he asked rhetorically, but his smirk widened. "Interesting."
And they grinned.
…
The next morning the Bisuke, Pariston, and Zushi packed up for York Shin for the game. They slowly walked out of the house, seriously in no hurry, and even more slowly bid their goodbyes. It was Bisuke who was the last to cross the threshold.
"Gosh. How I'll miss you. Don't forget to write letters, okay, you brat?" Bisuke told Mito as they surrendered themselves into a friendly hug. Bisuke gave one to Gon as well, and she joined the boys outside and began walking away.
But then Pariston turned and walked back. "Goodbye again, Mito." He said and stood in front of her for a whole moment, just before leaning in to place a kiss on her cheek making Mito blush furiously and would later earn him a large bump, courtesy of Bisuke.
"In case you enter some sort of mid-life crisis and in dire need to commit an act of infidelity," he told her. "Call me."
Gon didn't really get it. But she laughed anyway.
Things would get better. She just knew it.
.
.
END OF CHAPTER 22
Coming Soon:
CHAPTER 23: Dawns x Decisions x Delay
Gon makes an oath, and Killua finally wakes.
REPLIES TO ANGELS
DrawingRAMPAGE – (ch12) Hi there! No worries, I'm happy I get to hear from you again. And such an awesome review, too! I have to say I really missed them and I am super glad you liked the events, the characters, and the like that you mentioned (and the reasons why you like them were super nice bonuses). And of course I don't mind the suggestions, I appreciate every word, and thank you for reviewing!
Yuna x Haku – I know, I know I'm sorry! I partly hated myself too cuz' Rhythm pair is really ship-able. xD Anyway, at the time I had to do it. Forgive me! xDD And thank you for commenting~
Yuki Candy Heart – (ch20) Thank you for reviewing! I'll be explaining why Zushi did what he did here. Hope it's believable lel, and hope you liked this chap!
Pri-Chan1410 – Ah, your questions shall be answered here! Hope my decisions are fine, and hope you aren't disappointed. Thank you for reviewing btw! :D
Digilover23 – Here's the update! So sorry it took so long, hope it was fine, despite the lack of Yinyang. xD Thank you for reviewing!
Jennosaur – I hope this chapter answered your questions! xDD And I hope you liked it. lol. Anyway, thank you for commenting! Appreciate it :D
Angel-Rei-chan1 – 'course your not a bad person for wanting the villains dead. xD I did too! Haha. Anway, I hope this chap answers the questions in a decent way! And thank you for reviewing~
Animelover822 – Glad it was worth waiting for then! I hope this one is too, despite the major lack of yinyang pair moments. *sobs* thx for reviewing~
Grapes – Awww, thank you so much for the compliment. Glad you liked the chapter, and I do hope I can keep it up. Thanks for reviewing!
Slytherin Studios – Thanks for reviewing! I am so happy that you're still like it so far. Hope you like this one as well~! :D
LittleChomper – hahaha well shall we get on the sadist train? xDD And yep! There should at least be ten more chappies. Or more. Depends. Haha. Thx for reviewing btw~
Guest [jan2 2015] – Aww, I hope this chapter helps mend your heart further then! xD I'm glad the story touched you btw, and thx for reviewing! :D
Liz – Yes, yes he (illumi) did manipulate Zushi! I hope I handled that issue nice enough in this chap, and thx for commenting! ;)
Sweet Love081 – Hehehe. I hope this chapter answers the questions nice enough and happy you thought it was wonderful! xDD thx for reviewing~
RaNDoem – Thank you for reviewing! xD Sooo happy you like my stories lol and hope that keeps happening! Btw, I shall see that show! Nispedana is a combination of names tho. xD
Darlingfedz – Aww glad this is still serving as stress reliever! xDD Glad you like it also despite the weird ending and I hope this chap answers the question~ I hope your workload becomes more bearable (although I do think you're having fun, I hope, are you? XD) thx for reviewing~!
Phoenix-Thunder – Hahah glad you liked the action and all those things! Those were particularly hard to write. xD Glad you're still liking my work and Thank you for reviewing! :DD
Guest [Jan9 2015] – (ch1) Well, I assumed since she's a girl and they've spent 5 years together already that she'd call him dad. xD And yep! Can you imagine Ging being all googly when Gon was sweet? Haha. Thx for commenting btw!
Pokefan008 – (ch20) They're together! xD And they'll continue to until the end. Haha. (ch21) In this chapter she'll get it back. Perhaps not in the way you'd expect tho. And of course, thanks for the reviews! I love them.
Kazumi Rin – (ch20) Awww I know I hate myself too. xD I do hope you forgive me eventually. Lol. Glad you liked the Yinyang and rhythm pair moments! I loved writing them. (ch21) LOL. Well, Zushi stabbed Killua. There. Hahaha. Anwyay, thank you for the reviews! I appreciate them all~
xXxRizaHawkeyexXx – You made an AMV? Cool! Can I watch it?! :DDD Oh, and I hope this chap fixed that cliffy and thank you for reviewing!
Guest [Jan 15 2015] – Thank you for reviewing! And thx for saying this fic is amazing. I hope I can keep doing that, and do enjoy this chap!
Saria Forest14 – Oh, oh! I did do fanarts. They're not particularly awesome but they may help. XD I have links on my profile. ;D Anyway, I am so glad my stories touch you somehow and I hope to keep it up. Thank you for reviewing! :D
…
Thanks for reading!
Sorry for the delay and I do hope you enjoyed this chap!
It'd make me so happy if y'all tell me your thoughts!