Here, we catch up with two of the most beloved Animaniacs characters: Pinky and the Brain! You didn't think Brain would pass up the chance to use the Y2K crisis to take over the world, did you? That is, if Pinky can stop being stupid long enough... In this chapter, there are some 90s references and one movie reference - if you can guess that flick, cyber cookies to you! Happy New Year!

Across town in a dark area of Burbank, deep within the heart of Acme Labs, someone else was babysitting one who couldn't act right – at least, not with anything remotely resembling basic intelligence. It had long been said that one was a genius and the other was insane, and various theories existed as to which was which. As of today, the theory was that the genius was the one annoying his cage-mate, because it was (quite successfully) driving the cage-mate insane. And what was the instrument of torture? Apart from the so-called "genius" himself, it was a commercial for a CD that promoted music for good moods. Although, given how this commercial popped up every other break and how a loud, annoying Cockney voice was screeching along to the song snippets, the mood in question was getting very foul indeed.

"PINKY!" bellowed the Brain, slamming his human-sized pencil down in anger. A vein pulsed in the mouse's oversized cranium as he whipped around to glare at his cage-mate. The taller, skinny mouse known as Pinky was, as per usual, completely oblivious to his friend's tizzy. He was dancing to the music and singing "Sail away, sail away, sail away" at the top of his lungs. Brain gritted his teeth. "Pinky, if you don't cease that caterwauling this instant, I am going to hurt you!"

Pinky stopped dancing and ended his song on a laugh, giving no sign at all that he was upset by Brain's threat. "Oh, Brain, I love that advert! Those songs are so catchy, I can't help singing along!"

"If only that commercial wasn't blasted over the airwaves on every single break, it might actually be pleasant, and your turning it into amateur hour does not help," Brain said. "That flow is an Orino-go."

Pinky laughed again. "Oh, come on, Brain! Don't you like any of the songs?"

Brain thought for a moment. "Tubular Bells has always reminded me of you for some… demonic reason."

"Ooh, that one's scary, Brain!"

"My point precisely." When he got no response but a blank stare, Brain rolled his eyes. "Never mind." He punched the off button on the nearby remote control, which Pinky had dragged into the cage so he could watch cartoons.

"Oi, SpongeBob's coming on soon!" Pinky protested when the TV went dark.

"Forget that and come with me. It'll do you a world of good to drag your eyes away from that puerile excuse for a cartoon."

"SpongeBob doesn't stink, Brain! He's happy and fun, fun, silly-willy! He's kinda like me!"

That little similarity had not escaped Brain's notice. Privately, he thought that he himself had a great deal in common with longsuffering Squidward, but never in a million years would he admit it to Pinky. "I don't know whether to be elated or frightened that you've found a kindred spirit in a sponge with a porous brain," he quipped, motioning for Pinky to follow him out of the cage.

"Where are we going, Brain? Ooh, are we going outside today? If we are, can we look for a snail? I want a snail for a pet like SpongeBob!"

Brain rolled his eyes. "Frightened it is. Your pet of choice is a slime-covered invertebrate with a greater IQ than your own."

Pinky frowned in confusion. "Brain, I don't want to adopt a member of Congress."

Brain almost laughed at that one. Pinky was about as sharp as a marble, but now and then, he had moments of unexplained brilliance. "No, Pinky. In that instance, the snail has a higher IQ than the other invertebrate. Even you have greater intelligence."

Pinky's face lit up. "Thanks, Brain!"

"For what it's worth, you're welcome. Now, if we can redirect this conversation to reality, we must focus our attention on New Year's Eve."

"Ooh, I can't wait! I've already got my date lined up!" Pinky whipped out a photo of his girlfriend, Pharfignewton the mare, and smiled adoringly at it. "She gives the best New Year's kisses."

Brain cringed as Pinky gave the picture a loud, smacking kiss. "She probably thinks you're a lump of sugar, as sickeningly sweet as you are. A horse is a horse."

"Of course, of course!" Pinky cheerfully responded, stowing the picture back inside his fur. "Narf!"

"Pinky, drop out of Nick-at-Nite school and pay attention. This may be our most ambitious plan to take over the world yet." The mice crossed the long table until they stopped atop an issue of Time magazine that proclaimed The End of the World in screaming red. Fittingly, the people in the cover art were also screaming. "Behold, the power of the press, Pinky. One rumor in the hands of the media can take on a life of its own and spread like wildfire from coast to coast. In some instances, it can spark celebration, and in others, panic. In the case of the year 2000, one rumor has started a media circus."

"Zort! I love the circus!" Pinky exclaimed, clapping his hands in glee. "When are we going, Brain? I've always wanted to fly on a trapeze and play with the animals! But not the elephants, they're scared of me and I don't know why."

"It's not that kind of circus, although I admit the American press has more than its fair share of clowns. As for the elephants being afraid of you… I won't say it, it's too easy," Brain deadpanned. "What I will say is that there is complete hysteria from numerous people regarding what will occur when the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve. Many are under the impression that computers around the world will crash, which in turn will cause widespread ruin of businesses and governments, prompting the rise of martial law." Brain turned to his cage-mate, his pink eyes gleaming. "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

Pinky scratched his head. "I think so, Brain, but if Carmen Sandiego and Waldo had a baby, who'd be able to find it?"

Brain facepalmed. "No, Pinky! Although they could always look in the void between your ears. I'm talking about harnessing the media's powers of manipulation and using the Y2K panic for our benefit." He led Pinky to a trio of pictures depicting historical figures. "History has shown time and time again that humans are the most gullible creatures. They will believe anything as long as it is presented with a showman's flair and a snake-oil salesman's slick tongue, and these tactics frequently win world leaders the support of millions." Brain waved a paw at the first picture, a man upon a horse. "Exhibit A: Alexander the Great upon his horse, Bucephalus."

"God bless you," Pinky said upon hearing the horse's name, evidently mistaking it for a sneeze. Brain just did another eye-roll and continued.

"Alexander's empire is the closest thing to total world domination I have ever seen," the mouse said with clear reverence. "A cunning military tactician and a beneficent leader, Alexander reinforced his hold over his domain by putting forth the idea that he not only had the divine right to rule, he himself was divine – the son of the Greek god Zeus. And he further solidified this belief by making extensive public speeches, having statues of himself erected around the empire and naming cities after himself. By all accounts, his people never questioned his claims of divinity and worshiped him along with their own pantheons."

"Didn't he die, though, Brain? And didn't his empire fall into teeny-weeny little pieces?" Pinky asked.

Brain paused. "A mere technicality. Moving on." He gestured at the next picture. "Julius Caesar, first emperor of the Roman Empire."

"And he made a yummy, yummy salad!" Pinky piped up, rubbing his belly as if he were hungry.

"Keep spouting imbecilities and you're the one who's going to be tossed," Brain growled at his friend. "Julius Caesar was one of the greatest orators who ever lived, able to persuade his people that he was a brilliant general who could rule them with a capable hand. Like Alexander, he perpetuated the idea that he was descended from the gods, and Caesar took it a step further by imprinting his image on Roman coins. By sending these coins out amongst his conquered peoples, he was able to spread the image of himself as divinely appointed emperor to the farthest reaches of his empire. Quite a genius strategy, for it helped his people accept him as undisputed ruler."

Pinky had another objection. "But Brain, wasn't he stabbed by his best friends? They weren't very good friends if they didn't like him."

Brain ground his teeth in frustration. "Et tu, Pinky?"

"Bless you, Brain! Are you getting sick?" Pinky asked, resting a hand on his friend's forehead.

Brain ducked out from under Pinky's hand. "Sick of being exposed to infectious stupidity. Will you be quiet for five minutes and listen?"

"Aye-aye, Brain!" Pinky saluted. "I'm all ears!"

"No, you're all mouth, but I digress." Brain pointed to the third picture, a diminutive man with his hand in his coat. "Last, but certainly not least, Napoleon Bonaparte." Admiration shone on his face as he gazed up at the French ruler. "I've always felt a kinship with him."

"Ooh, ooh, I know why! Because you're both tiny little blokes with great big heads who want to rule the world!" Pinky cried, proud of himself.

Although he resented being reminded of his small stature, Brain couldn't deny the accuracy of Pinky's statement. "Very astute," he said dryly. "And if you say bless you once more, your head is going to be holey! Not that it needs another hole; your mouth is more than sufficient. Now button your lip and pay attention."

"Right-o, Brain!" Pinky, like always, took his friend literally and buttoned his lip with an actual button.

Brain raised an eyebrow. "Surprisingly ingenious. I shall have to keep that in mind." Clearing his throat, he began his speech on Napoleon. "Napoleon rose to power in the wake of the French Revolution and was a master and utilizing the power of the press. He planted articles and artwork extolling the glory of France in newspapers throughout Europe, and he sent leaflets to countries he planned to conquer, promising liberty and ease under the French. His rule lasted a decade and he managed to leave several memorable legacies for himself, including the Napoleonic Code and a reign that proved stature is no factor in might."

"But, Brain…"

"What now, Pinky?" Brain growled, already dreading the objection to come.

Undeterred, Pinky continued, "Wasn't he sent to a desert island 'cause no one wanted him ruling the world? He ended up like Gilligan."

"Yes," Brain ground out, forced to concede. "Fortunately, I have a plan that will prevent me from meeting my own Waterloo."

"Ooh, Napoleon was a fan of ABBA? I love them so!" Pinky exclaimed, preparing to launch into a chorus of the Swedish group's song Waterloo.

Brain clamped a hand tightly around Pinky's nose and mouth, shutting him up. "If you start singing, I will wrap your tongue around your neck. Do you understand me?" When he got a nod and a muffled uh-huh in return, he let go. "Now, to the plan." The mice walked to a diagram drawn by Brain, portraying a newspaper, a public speech before a crowd, a set of coins, and a television broadcast. "All three of the world leaders we just reviewed had one thing in common: they knew how to turn manipulation of the media and the people into an art form. By planting their images in plain sight, making impressive public speeches, and spreading the word about the benefits of being subject to their rule, they were able to gain the unquestioning trust of the people and thus control numerous countries. While I do not plan to build statues of myself, I do have a plan to get my face in the public eye."

Pinky's brow creased in concern. "Won't that hurt?"

"Not half as much as this conversation." Brain pointed to the image of the newspaper on the diagram. "First, we will create news articles and pieces of artwork that introduce me as a rising leader and exemplify my leadership qualities in times of peril and chaos, and plant these in papers and magazines worldwide. Once these are a success, we will tour the country making speeches to be viewed around the world, promising hope in a time of confusion. And when the public's attention has been snared, we will issue these for them to collect." He sidled over to a coin lying nearby and stomped on the edge with his foot. The coin flipped into the air and the mouse caught it with both hands; he ignored Pinky's raucous applause and cries of "Do it again!" to proceed with his idea. "Obviously, I cannot put my face on legal US currency, considering one must be either a president or dead and I have no desire to be either one. Therefore, I am moving forward with another method just as popular: collectible coins." He showed the coin that bore the image of New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. "Baseball fans go gaga for trivial items like these tin coins. Of course, anyone with a penchant for collecting anything touted as rare or en vogue will go after it no matter how insipid the subject matter. We will manufacture coins like these using discarded aluminum from the lab, imprint them with my image and brilliant qualities, and distribute them to major retail outlets for people to collect. Unbeknownst to them, these coins will contain a microchip that, when activated, will take complete control of their minds, allowing full manipulation of their thoughts and emotions. Of course, this will culminate on New Year's Eve, when we will send out a television broadcast and insist they have their collectible coins present while they watch." He pointed to the final image on the diagram. "When this broadcast goes live, a set of flashes will activate the chip in the coins and trick them into accepting me as their new ruler, thus finally enabling us to take over the world!"

"Egad, Brain, brilliant!" Pinky cried, jumping for joy – until he stopped and held up a paw. "Um, wait, no. What if the telly broadcast gets cut off? Everything's supposed to crash on New Year's Eve, so your mind-control thingy may go all ZORT!" Pinky yanked his ears outward and bugged his eyes out for emphasis.

Brain gave his friend a pitying look. "Pinky, nothing is going to happen on December 31 at midnight. All of this brouhaha is the result of the press's insatiable lust for exploiting a good crisis and human stupidity run amok."

For some reason, Pinky found that word hysterically funny. "Amok!" he repeated, laughing his head off. Much to Brain's irritation, Pinky began bouncing up and down, chanting "Amok, amok, amok" like it was going out of style. Feeling a migraine coming on, Brain grabbed a nearby pencil and walloped Pinky over the head with it, halting the antics.

"Simpleton," Brain scoffed as Pinky got up woozily, stars whirling around his head. "Come on and follow me. We have articles to write and coins to mint."

Now back to what senses he had, Pinky said, "Ooh, goody gumdrops! I bet they'll taste absolutely yummy for the tummy!"

For the umpteenth time, Brain rolled his eyes heavenward. "Lord, take me now," he prayed as the mice got to work.