Chapter Twenty-Two:
Secrets and Sonnets
Outskirts of Surrey
England
Blair rested her chin on both of her forearms, as she leaned out onto the carriage's window. They had been riding for an extensive amount of time now, and they had to be nearing the Van der Woodsen Estate before too much longer. After all, they'd had enough time for her and Chuck to do his favorite thing during their ride, more than once for that matter, time to talk, to nap, and then some. Now she felt restless, ready to see her friend, and at the very least to get out of the small space they'd been confined to for their travel. She was trying to allow her excitement to outweigh her irritation for she did not want to sour her mood before they'd arrived, or worse have an argument with Chuck; knowing his short temper it would not be outside the realm of possibilities for him to have them turn the whole caravan around before they'd even arrived. Instead she tried to focus on the ongoing scenery around them, while also trying to keep quiet so he could continue in his catnap.
Alas, a large manor in the Tudor architectural style came into view. Though not comparable to either of Chuck's castles the home was still a sight to behold. It was compiled of large light grey stones, with stained glass windows, and a grand circular driveway in front of it; to the side of the estate Blair could see accompanied grand and well-groomed gardens. There looked to even be a small maze of all differently shaped bushes and trees, along with several fountains.
It was by far the nicest home Serena had ever lived in since Blair had known her, even counting when Serena's father had been alive. Blair felt a slight pang of jealousy over the fact that it was more grand than anything her own family had even possessed; yes, it seemed the Van der Woodsens had risen in rank and fortune since returning to England. All it had taken to gain this and more for not only Lily, but her children also had been to agree to be the King's mistress. While back in France Serena had written to her whilst her mother and the king's affair proceeded, and she was well aware of the many perks and procurements it'd provided them. One, meaning Blair, could almost see—perhaps understand even the temptation one could feel to accept the title of a royal's official courtesan. And yet, a greater part of her reasoned this was not a secure or respected position however, and therefore it was beneath her. Lily had been cast aside when Catherine arrived, and that proved just how much more formidable a Queen was than the other woman. Sure, Lily had been more than well taken care of, as she would be for the rest of her life, but Blair suspected and felt those qualms some confirmed by Serena's letters—that Lily was not happy. Not to say monarchy guaranteed a happy life, but it did assure a secure one—as much so as one could be secured.
The carriage slowed as it turned into the driveway and pulled to a stop, within walking distance to the house. Blair looked beside her to Chuck who still seemed to be sleeping soundly. She thought momentarily to wake him, but then a flash of long golden hair caught her eye. Off to the side, in the gardens she'd previously noticed, she saw Serena who seemed to be observing their arrival. Blair could not contain herself any longer; she threw open the carriage door and sprung from it before a servant could do so for her. Her feet hit the ground and with luck she kept her footing and headed straight towards the gardens.
"Serena!" she shouted gleefully, waving her arms in the air. She quickened her pace, entering the path to her friend who was also now headed straight for her as well. In short time the two girls collided, throwing their arms around one another and exclaiming with girlish squeals of elation.
"Blair! Oh my graciousness, is it really you? I have not seen you in such long a time. I cannot believe you are here now, and with—is that the prince?" Serena stopped, squinting her eyes in the direction of the royal carriages. Blair turned around, somewhat out of breath, and saw that Chuck had exited with the assistance of his guards. He too was now staring at them, cocking his head and frowning; likely displeased that Blair had taken off so suddenly without precautions.
"That is the prince! Quite the escort you acquired for the day then, B. Is there perhaps something you'd like to tell me?" Serena questioned, blue eyes looking wild with enthusiasm and now beaming like she already knew all of Blair's secrets.
Blair stuttered, "The prince is my—well he is my dear friend. He only wanted to assure I had safe travels today in my journey to see you." Was that really the best she'd come up with? If even Blair herself could not believe it when repeated back to her in her head then surely her lifelong friend would see right through it as well.
Serena smirked, crossing her arms. "Is that not what guards are for?"
The brunette shrugged. "Well he also wanted to get away from court too—" Blair paused, noticing behind Serena that Nate had now also exited his carriage and stood beside Chuck; both men stared at them.
"As did his friend." Perhaps that would be enough distraction for Serena to get them off the current topic before she'd dissected it too much.
"What friend?" Serena asked with a giggle as she spun around to look at Chuck and Nate. When she looked upon them she seemed to fall back a little, but caught herself at the last minute. However, her smile had transformed into a frown.
"Duke Archibald, if I remember from your letters—you two may have been previously acquainted," Blair recounted, lowering her voice even though there was no way anyone was in earshot. She advanced a few steps forward to stand next to her friend, and reached out her hand to hold Serena's.
"I am sorry. I did not have much of a choice in whether he came or not. Trust in me he is not my favorite person at court, not that there are many."
Serena nodded, her gaze lingering for a few more moments before she seemed to release it and her hurt feelings on the matter. Once she'd turned to face Blair again it was as if her sunny disposition had returned to her. "It is fine, B. Men will do as they will, as my mother's taught me."
"Yes, they certainly will," Blair agreed, glancing at Chuck once more. She could tell that he wanted her to come back over to them, formally introduce him to Serena. Most would be fearful to have put it off so long already, but she wasn't just most to him. She could get away with a bit more, in typical circumstances.
"Did he happen to say why he wished to accompany you?" Serena furthered, apparently not fully removed from the subject yet. She too still stared at the other man, the prince's companion.
"Not to me, though I'd think it obvious to you," Blair responded, wanting to lift her spirits. Serena turned to her, expression confused and making it clear she did not yet understand.
"Why do men usually fight to be in your presence, S?" Blair explained, laughing as she hugged Serena once more from her side. She then rolled her eyes as if to fake a playful sense of annoyance; it wasn't hard, Blair had spent many years where envy towards Serena had been a very real and often occurrence.
"She speaks so bitterly yet she arrived in a carriage built for a Queen," Serena teased, hugging Blair back.
"Not the Queen though," Blair pointed out with a sigh. She then held out her hand for Serena, her friend taking it, and both girls walking forward side-by-side.
"Yes, I obviously had heard. What is she like?" Serena asked, making conversation while also most likely fishing for information to give to her mother later. Blair couldn't blame her, Eleanor would have bid her to do the same thing were the roles reversed and in her duty as a daughter she'd have done it just as Serena.
"Just dreadful, S. Though not quite as boring as her son; still, she's far less easy to deal with," Blair revealed, hoping parts of the information would bring Lily some comfort. She'd always liked Serena's mother, in ways she'd been kinder to Blair as girl than her own had ever been.
"Well, you are aware of what they say about mother-in-laws, especially those that are Queens?" Serena jested, though neither girl laughed. Instead Blair stopped for a moment, turning to her.
"So you've heard then?" she asked, lowering her voice once more. She still doubted anyone could hear, but they were also a good bit closer to the carriages and men than they'd been before.
Serena nodded, "The King still writes to Lily on occasion, and it was mentioned in passing. Yet, I feel you still have much more to tell me. We've exchanged many letters and alas it seems you've told me so little." Her blue eyes flickered to the prince and back to Blair's. "What is going on there, Blair?"
"I don't know," Blair whispered back quickly, shaking her head as if she could shake away the conversation. If only she were like Chuck and could merely dismiss any person or talk she'd wanted.
"I shall need a bit more detail than that. Besides since when do you not know what you're doing? You are Blair Waldorf, my most dear and oldest friend. I know you too well," Serena prompted, still searching Blair's face as if it held all the answers. It couldn't, as Blair wasn't even certain she did.
She sighed, shaking her head. "Fine. I shall admit I had no idea of what I was doing when I set out on this particular venture, but now I am not so certain where it or I are going," Blair admitted, her eyes falling to the ground in shame. Serena was right, since when did she go so long without a plan? For while she had an idea of where she wished to end up it seemed she was constantly veering off the deceptively straightforward path to it. Perhaps there was no clear or careful way to proceed, and yet it was far too late now to jump ship.
"That certainly does not sound like you. Do not tell me the English court has changed you?" Serena touched the small of her back with her hand as if to comfort her.
"I am afraid it may have, S. In more ways than one," she breathed.
Blair's eyes lifted across the way, zoning in on Chuck once more. His dark eyes gaped back at her, and it was as if she could almost hear his thoughts calling her back to him. She could tell what he wanted just by looking at him. She felt butterflies fluttering around in her stomach, and a strange sort of nausea in her throat.
XOXOXOXOXO
Chuck stared at Blair, as did she back at him, and yet she made no more moves to advance towards him anymore. It seemed that her and her friend were taken by another conversation, one apparently not meant for his ears. He didn't like that, the idea of her saying things to someone he merely couldn't hear, or worse—she didn't want him to. This Serena was a female, just a friend, and therefore extensively less a threat than others at court, but she had something others did not; she had Blair's ear, and Blair hers. And Chuck knew just from the positions and jobs men of noble blood were not only willing to, but fought to do for his father just to have his ear, and confidence—that this was always of value.
"Does your highness remember the Lady Serena Van der Woodsen now? They aren't standing too far off, surely you can make out her figure… among other things," Nate mused, lustfully eyeing Blair's friend up and down. It was becoming quite obvious what Nate's true reason for wanting to accompany them had been, not that Chuck would ever blame him for such a desire.
Chuck nodded, "Aye, I remember her. As you said before, she is the daughter of my father's former mistress. Her mother was one of the more tolerable ones, and I see that paid off well for her. She wasn't bad looking for an older woman either, though as I've said blondes are not my type." He looked around at the grand estate; it did truly pay to be in the King's good favor.
"If I recall not too long ago your highness had no type. Now here you stand today discriminatory over practically every woman in the kingdom," Nate teased, giving the prince a knowing smile as if he were onto his secrets; Chuck thought it unlikely.
"I haven't seen every woman in the kingdom, Nathaniel. Besides, regardless of beauty some are far too beneath me, and my title," Chuck chided somewhat pompously, but it could not be helped.
Nate chuckled, shaking his head, and looking back in the direction of the girls. "That is not what I meant, but I believe your highness already knows that."
"The only thing I know is that you wouldn't be here right now, if it weren't for me," Chuck returned, trying to keep a playful manner about the conversation. He motioned back to the carriages as he had literally meant he was the reason Nate had been allowed to accompany them to the Van der Woodsen estate.
"Aye, in more ways then one," Nate sighed, remaining some serious.
Chuck turned to look at him, extending a hand to touch his shoulder. When Nate turned and their eyes met, the prince shook his head. "That is not what I meant, Nathaniel. I was fooling," he told him sincerely.
Nate did not look bothered, but instead his lips tugged up into a softer sort of smile. "I know, your highness, but alas it is true. I and my family have lived in your favor for quite a while, and it has brought us the most happiness, among other things," he praised gratefully.
"You act as if any effort on my part was required. Besides, who else was I going to give it to?" Chuck jested, patting Nate on the back. He was touched by what his friend had said, and yet it was hard for him to put that into words.
"Your highness has more friends at court than he likes to recognize," Nate reasoned, not wanting to take away from his proclamations of gratitude. Chuck however interpreted this differently, wondering if his friend had meant something more by it. The prince frowned at the notion.
"I have given others things too," he responded, his tone somewhat defensive.
"Indeed," Nate agreed shortly, not looking for a fight.
"You say that word like there's more meaning behind it," Chuck presumed skeptically. He looked to his friend with urgency to reveal what he was really getting at, the true meaning behind his words.
"Forgive me for speaking out of turn, but what I mean to say is that I think many are wondering what all you cangive," he insinuated, motioning towards Blair with his eyes. It was then Chuck realized what he was asking, or at least the generalization of what it pertained to. And whether Chuck had been willing to give his friend an answer or not on it—well, he wasn't quite sure if he had one.
"Truthfully Nathaniel, I have been wondering that myself," he revealed, speaking truthfully and in absolute confidence. He was sure Nate looked surprised by it, but Chuck kept his eyes on Blair, part of him still wondering what her conversation was about even as he tried to focus on his own.
"If I may, has your highness tried talking to the King about it? His majesty is your father after all," Nate suggested, genuinely trying to sound helpful. Chuck still nearly laughed at the notion. His father was the hardest to talk to out of everyone, especially about Blair.
He scoffed, "And how would you presume I go about that exactly?" He cocked his brow at Nate, looking quite cynically as the image of his father's disappointed face came to mind; it was a visual Chuck knew all too well, and one he hated more than all else.
Nate sighed, "I could not say."
"Yes, I figured," Chuck returned, not sounding mad, but not really glad either. The whole thing made him feel conflicted, concerned even, thus he'd rather not address it. Nate then moved from beside him to in front of him, lowering his voice so that no nearby servants could hear them.
"Your highness misunderstands. I could not say, because I could not comprehend. I am not a prince; therefore I could never imagine even asking what a prince could ask for. And yet you, you are the prince," Nate explained.
"Yes, I am the prince, and yes, I can ask what I wish. But you do know that once one asks for something it can also be denied, and not easily undone once done so by the King?" Chuck pointed out; not liking how it felt to have to admit something was out of his control.
"So you'd rather just not ask it?" Nate asked, sounding with doubt as if that didn't make much sense to him either. Chuck couldn't blame him. It if didn't make sense to him, the one actually going through it. How could he expect for it to make sense for his friend, a third-party and much more removed from viewer, all things considered.
"I admit I do not even know what to ask," Chuck revealed truthfully, though he hated every moment of it. He then turned his back to the women, not even wanting to look at Blair while this confusing conversation carried on. He walked a few more steps back towards the carriage, motioning to a servant for a drink of something. One fetched him a pouch of wine, bringing it over obediently and holding it up to his lips for a sip. Chuck drank it graciously, happy it was wine rather than water. Afterwards he wiped the excess liquid off his lips and noticed Nate had once again joined him, still waiting to proceed with their dialogue.
"I've thought of it. Perhaps you could make Blair your mistress while the King, Queen, and the Lord Somerset are away. Go about it in true Chuck Bass fashion, take what you want, and deal with the consequences later," Nate proposed, encouraging the idea as his voice lifted with excitement. Once he'd realized his place he lowered it once more and looked around nervously as he cleared his throat.
"She will not accept it," Chuck returned, wondering if Nate truly thought Chuck hadn't already come to this conclusion himself.
"Wh—what do you mean?" Nate said in response, sounding even more perplexed by the situation than before; perhaps he was finally starting to understand how and why Chuck felt the way he did.
Chuck nodded and spoke bluntly. "I mean precisely what I said. I offered her the title of my mistress, and she refused me. She will not accept it."
"Then what is it she wants?" Nate questioned.
"I do not know, and I am not entirely sure she does either," Chuck revealed.
"And what of you? Surely, you know what you want at least?" Nate ushered on, the whole thing evidently concerning for him. Chuck paused for a moment, thinking his friends words over. What did he want? He wanted Blair, but that was the easy and already very obvious answer.
"I do not—I want her not to marry Thomas," Chuck admitted, not sure he could currently offer much more. He then turned back around, looking at Blair once more. She was no longer staring at him, but in deeper conversation with her friend. He knew he longed for her to be beside him, now, and on most days.
"Do you love her, your highness?" Nate asked carefully, appearing at his side instead.
Chuck did not outwardly react to the words right away, but instead felt them sink way deep down inside him. Those words made him uncomfortable that word in particular; Love. What did he know of it? He felt himself grow angered and frustrated by how something, which should seem so small made him feel such fear. He looked away from Blair and turned to glare at Nate instead.
"What would I know of love? And who are you to ask me such a thing?" he spat, the pleasantries of their conversation now over with. Nate should have known better, as well as he knew the prince; he had pushed to far.
"I did not mean to offend, your highness," Nate apologized, backtracking instantly. He held up his hands in means of further surrender and took a step back, also bowing his head as he did so.
Chuck felt some relief from it, as if his friend backing away physically signified him also backing off a conversation that caused him such discomfort. He nodded, adjusting his stance and getting ahold of his demeanor.
"Good then. We should go and check on the women, seeing as how they don't mean to come to us."
"Yes, your highness. Of course, after you," Nate complied, stepping to the side and bowing his head for the prince.
XOXOXOXOXO
"Serena! Serena, be quiet! Here they come! Look, they're both walking towards us now. Speak nothing of our conversation before, I beg of you!" Blair beseeched, speaking in a heightened and urgent whisper as she patted her friend's arm a bit harsher than she'd intended. Serena made a face, grasping at the spot she'd hit as if to momentarily tease her. When Blair only looked further anxious however, Serena let it go and nodded seriously.
"Of course, B. All your secrets are safe with me," she vowed, using her hand to motion a cross over her heart. It was a ritual they had done as girls, and by doing so Blair knew she meant it. She felt a sense of ease rush over her and she sighed in relief, closing her eyes for a moment. At least she could trust Serena.
"Blair, are you alright? You look flushed, and you have been standing here now a long while," Chuck called out, walking over to them hastily. Nate hurried behind him, but did not say anything, letting the prince take the deserved lead.
Blair opened her eyes quickly, meeting his as soon as she did. He came to her, not regarding Serena at all, before he reached out a hand to her cheek, and then turned his palm over to feel her forehead too.
"You feel warm," he murmured, sounding as if to scold her. It was apparent before he'd approached her that he hadn't liked how long she'd stayed from his side. In fairness they spent a lot of time together. She often longed for his company when he had matters of court to deal with, away from her. It seemed only fair it also worked the other way and their distance troubled him too.
"Blair?" His voice rose when she did not respond and she realized she must be concerning him further by just staring back at him blankly. Of course she'd only been lost in thought, but he didn't know that.
She reached up taking hold of his arm and gently pulling it down, giving him the best comforting smile she could muster.
"I am sorry, your highness. I must have dazed, but I blame the long journey, not the heat; alas there is no need for you or anyone else to worry." She nodded and turned to look at Serena, as if to bring others into the conversation made it more normal. She wondered whom this little show she was putting on for as everyone here were privy enough to the situation, but when flustered it was the best she could do.
Serena smiled back at her, but when Chuck turned to look at her friend the blonde instantly averted her head and gaze downward. It was the formal thing to do, seeing as how the prince had not yet addressed her. Blair turned back to Chuck and extended a hand out towards Serena.
"Your highness, please forgive me for being so rude. May I introduce you to my dearest and oldest friend—Lady Serena Van der Woodsen." Blair presented Serena, stepping aside so that Chuck and her could formally meet. Though she didn't really like the way her thoughts had phrased that—stepping to the side for Chuck and Serena. Growing up Serena had taken so many things from her, boys included. It was hard not to have a part of her still fear that could happen again with the prince. Her friend was very beautiful after all, and in a way most men seemed to prefer to Blair.
"Your highness," Serena said with a bow and curtsey. When she leaned forward she did so with such grace and ease from her long legs that Blair could never hope to possess. Not to mention her breasts practically spilled out of her dress, and her luscious long golden hair fell forward like straight from a fairytale. Blair's lips pursed and her eyes narrowed. Not wishing to envy her friend any further she turned away from Serena and looked to Chuck for his reaction.
The prince nodded at her friends greeting, and spared a small, but formal smile.
"My Lady Serena, it is a pleasure to meet anyone Blair here deems of good company," he told her.
Blair felt herself smile at the mention of her name. She liked that she was still presently on his mind even as he looked at Serena. Not to mention, he'd paid Blair a compliment in doing so.
"Thank you, your highness. I assure you though the pleasure and honor is all mine. I also must thank you graciously for arranging such a trip for Blair to come and see me. It has been so long since we were together last, and I have missed her so," Serena told him, paying him the standard thanks and pleasantries.
"Yes, well Blair has a way of getting what she wants," Chuck returned with a laugh, exchanging a knowing glance with Nate before returning his focus to her friend.
"That she does your highness, as I am sure she's proved to you at court, and otherwise," Serena indicated, the women then sharing their own little playful look with one another.
"Indeed," Chuck agreed with a grin.
Things were going arguably as best they could and Blair felt herself calming down more and more as their chat proceeded. Her insecurities from childhood slowly began to drift away again.
"Your highness's servants have prepared a great luncheon in our dining hall. I am sure you all are quite puckish from traveling. Please follow me if you wish it, and allow me to extend my family home out to you; we offer it to your highness to enjoy in any way that you should see fit. You and your… companion." Serena gave a brief nod to Nate, and Blair could tell her friend was uncertain on how she should feel about him being here. Blair couldn't blame her, as she wasn't sure how she felt about Nate and his presence half the time either.
"Thank you, Lady Serena. That shall suit me just fine. It is in good timing too, seeing as the sun has grown quite harsh and I would not wish for it to taint Blair's—or your own fair skin," Chuck told her, that last bit sounding less thought out than the words that came before it. Serena did not seem to care or take offense. She only smiled back at him with a nod.
"Yes, your highness. You are most thoughtful for considering us in such a way. Please do follow me then." Serena then turned, proceeding forward towards the manor's large great front doors. Blair could only imagine what the inside of such a place looked like when the outside had already offered her such vast and imposing sights to behold.
As they walked Blair sensed Chuck slowed his pace some so that he walked beside her, rather than him in front of her. She kept her gaze forward, but smiled so that he'd see her do so since it was likely he was looking at her. It was then she felt his hand on the small of her back and she could not help, but to blush. And while she knew Serena would not care and she should feel no embarrassment at her friends expense, she still had not expected him to act so forward in front of her.
He leaned in to speak to her, lowering his voice to signify to them and anyone else the conversation was only their business, regardless of who heard it.
"Next time we arrive somewhere for the first time you must wait for the guards to clear the grounds, and for I to let you know it is safe. I will allow you today because I know you were excited to see your friend. But you do understand this going forward, yes?"
His words surprised her, and she could not answer back right away. Slowly she regained her composure and nodded to him.
"Yes, I understand."
"Good. You really shouldn't stand out in the sun for so long either. It will ruin your fair complexion, and I simply will not have it," he furthered. Though he was reprimanding her she actually took it some as a compliment for she knew he only did so because he cared. Chuck wouldn't say so otherwise, because unlike others, if he didn't care to say or do something then he just didn't.
Blair nodded, smiling to herself and to him.
"Yes, your highness. Though pray tell, was it really my standing in the sun that brought you such displeasure, or my standing so far from you?" she asked knowingly. They both knew the answer to her question even before it'd reached his lips, and yet she'd relish hearing it come from them.
"Both," Chuck confirmed with a smirk.
XOXOXOXOXO
Chuck stared across the table at Blair and Serena, both of them consumed with conversation and one another. Admittedly he had been a bit annoyed when Blair chose to sit on the opposite side of the table from him, and that she preferred the seat next to the blonde rather than his own. He had kept his displeasure to himself however, reasoning that they would only be here for a few hours and once they were gone he would have Blair's full attention, at his full disposal once more. She also seemed to be having fun, and he didn't want to spoil the good time for her, as it was a rare sight to see her enjoy the company of a fellow female so much. She hadn't quite taken to the ladies at court fully, nor they her. It was interesting to see her in her element, outside of his company that was.
"Well you two certainly do seem to know each other very well. How long exactly has it been that you've been friends for?" Nate asked, apparently also paying attention to the girls. Chuck wondered if his friend was as annoyed as he was that he wasn't sitting next to Serena either, but himself instead. He doubted the afternoon was how either of the men had pictured it.
Serena and Blair paused their more exclusive conversation, giving both men looks before turning their full attention forward. Blair's glaring at Nate seemed to linger a little longer than her blonde companion's, who was now grinning at his friend like a little girl with a secret she'd wished to spill.
"About as long as you and his highness, I would expect, making up for our age differences of course. Blair and I have known each other since we were in bassinets, if not longer. Our mothers were friends when they were both with child. Our fathers worked in similar fields at the time," Serena explained, casting a glance at Chuck occasionally, but primarily keeping eye contact with Nate. Chuck didn't really care who she looked at, as long as she seemed to divulge information so willingly. It was a task that was much harder to do with Blair, even with his guaranteed coaxing methods.
"Which is?" Nate prompted further.
"Excusez-moi?" Blair piped in, apparently the thought coming so quickly that it slipped out in French before she could articulate it in English. She glanced from her friend to Chuck's. Nate turned his attention towards her in response and with a little bit of drunken courage merely sort of chuckled at her.
"I am asking what fields your fathers worked in? I do not know much about either, seeing as they are no longer around," Nate returned matter of fact as he shrugged his shoulders.
Blair glared at him and Serena touched her shoulder as if to physically hold her back would translate to also doing so verbally. Apparently it worked, Blair quieted as Serena intervened yet again. Chuck found the whole interacting to be fascinating, and informative at the very least.
"Well not literal ones, I jest of course. They both did own a presumptuous amount of land both in England and France though; hence how we were able to spend so much time together in our youth. As a woman I know little, and as a daughter even less of her fathers means of seeking fortune, but I imagine they acquired quite a bit of wealth from the fields they owned. Other than that they were always traveling together for business dealings. Looking back now, perhaps that meant something else," Serena said, speaking as if in wonderment.
To be honest Chuck did not know her well enough to decipher whether or not she was playing stupid as an act, or if that was just—well, her. When his friend seemed to accept the answer there was a momentary silence aside from the clinking of cups and silverware against plates. Alas, it was the prince who broke it.
"So what was Blair like when she was younger?" he asked, obviously surprising the entire table by their reactions.
Blair was staring at him, all wide-eyed, but not in the classic doe-like way she usually did. Nate seemed the least shocked out of the three, but still taken aback by Chuck's question. Serena seemed somewhat stunned by the inquiry, but he figured it had more to do with his asking of it than the actual content. She spared a small smile, bowing her head down some, and exchanging a look with Blair before opening her mouth to speak.
Serena shrugged, "Well, your highness, you know, B. She wasn't much different than she is now. Perhaps a little more outgoing, but what lady isn't as a child? And just as good a dancer then." She raised her cup to her friend in praise before taking a large sip of it.
"She is a good dancer," Nate agreed. Chuck and Blair both frowned at him, though likely for different reasons. He laughed, "What? She is?" His eyes shifted to Blair and he nodded. "You are, it is well known at court. The men speak of it often."
"Do they?" Chuck inquired, quirking his brow at him. While it was indeed well known Blair was one of the best dancers at court, he couldn't help, but feel slight jealousy at the thought of so many other men appreciating it as he did.
Nate nodded, "They do…" He then shook his head, upon catching a glimpse of the prince's expression. "Not I. I mean I've noticed cause I'm there, and you-I could get you names if you'd like."
"I do not think it would be wise," Blair spoke up, grinning into her cup as she took a sip of wine. Her eyes lifted across the table, connecting with Chuck's. "Let them look. It is not as if many could keep up with me anyways, were we to dance. I have found quite a many English men to be how you say—dancing with both left feet?"
Nate laughed aloud, apparently particularly amused by the comment. He raised his cup to her. Chuck ignored it, keeping his gaze with her.
"Not all Englishmen," he returned; Blair knowing full well what exactly he meant by it.
She smiled and shook her head. "No, not all."
"Well isn't that grand then? One less reason to miss the French court, yes?" Serena chimed in, raising her voice in excitement. It was evident the blonde was now tipsy.
"What would dancing have to do with the French?" Nate returned, a confused looking frown forming on his face.
"Well French men are the best dancers! Everyone knows that, especially B," Serena suggested, throwing her friend a playful look before holding her cup out to a servant to be refilled.
Chuck was starting to find her particularly annoying, especially in regards to what was coming out of her mouth. And yet, both he and his envy were intrigued. He set his cup down abruptly, glaring at her.
"Interesting." Nate's voice perked up again, and he exchanged a strange look with Chuck before turning to the girls. "Did our Lady Blair break lots of hearts back at the French Court?" He smirked at both the blonde and brunette.
"I assure you both Serena was the one breaking hearts, and at both courts," Blair intercepted. Her eyes flickered nervously from Nate, to Serena, and then Chuck. He stared back at her, but knew full well he'd settled his expression to look quite blank. Perhaps he should let the blonde ramble on. She was Blair's best friend after all, where else could one find better intel on her?
"Oh please, B! While I admit I've had my fair share of suitors I've never had a poet writing sonnets about me," Serena teased.
"A poet? Pray tell, anyone good?" Nate returned.
"No. I doubt you'd have ever heard of him. He was just a boy at court, and he had a mere childhood crush. I cannot even remember his face," Blair intercepted, eyes narrowing as she glared in his direction. She seemed on edge, and not happy with the turn the conversation had taken. She was riled up, and not in a good way.
And yet, Chuck was all the more curious about this boy, this "childhood crush"—if that's all it really was. Perhaps Blair's friend's inability to control her tongue when laced with wine would serve him better than he'd previously predicted. Although he was worried he would not be pleased with what he would hear, and that was putting it mildly. Blair had promised him that he was the first man she'd been with, and due to certain details of the night he was quite certain that'd been the truth. But had she been truthful about everything? Had she known no other man in any other intimate way as she'd sworn before? The idea of her lying to him about those types of things caused a rage inside of him he only seemed to know in regards to Blair. However, it had never felt quite this intense before.
"And what of you Serena, do you remember this Frenchman's name?" Nate prompted further, ignoring Blair and locking eyes with Chuck. It seemed his friend had possibly caught some wind of the prince's change in mood.
"Oh the poet wasn't a Frenchman, no he was an Englishman," Serena announced nonchalantly, motioning a servant for yet another refill to her cup. She then bumped Blair's arm playfully with her shoulder, casting her a suggestive glance.
"Boy, an English boy," Blair clarified, as if it made a world of difference. Serena rolled her eyes in response, giggling on. It appeared the brunette was trying to signal her friend with her eyes, but the blonde had yet to catch on.
"And his name?" Nate continued, glancing from the girls to Chuck. He was definitely serving as a representative for the prince in this conversation.
"Ummm…. Let's see. I know I remember; it is on the tip of my tongue. Blair, can you recall it?" Serena asked, looking to the sky as if it held the answer.
"I cannot, but I can feel myself tiring from such a long day. It is also not far now from sunset. I think I may start towards the carriages," Blair announced, standing up from her seat rather promptly. It was clear she did not want this conversation to continue, and that triggered something in Chuck that made him want just the opposite.
"No, it is not yet time to leave and our time together is not yet finished," Chuck spoke up, drawing all attention in the room to him immediately. Blair froze where she stood, but kept her head down, and more importantly her eyes from his. He did not like the way she was acting; it made him feel uneasy, unstable.
"Sit down, Blair." He did not yell, but his tone was stern, and it was indeed meant and heard as an order.
Blair bowed her head in response, sighing and closing her eyes as she sat back down. She then bit her bottom lip, folding her hands in her lap, and staring at the table as if to resign herself from what came next.
"What was his name?" Chuck asked, repeating Nate's question, but with much more directness. He zoned in on Serena, realizing Blair was not going to look at him or likely answer him; simply put, the other girl was a much easier target.
Serena's eyes widened and her voice seemed to hang in her throat. Apparently she was finally catching onto the severe change in demeanor the room had taken. She looked to Blair for support.
"B—"
"I asked you a question, Lady Serena. I know you no longer live at court, but I gather you know what that means," Chuck interrupted, cocking his head so that he could scrutinize her further.
"Of course, your highness. Forgive me. It comes to me now, though it was so long ago. I believe his name was Wyatt, a Sir Thomas Wyatt. I have not seen him in ages though, and he left France long before Blair or even I did," Serena explained, speaking with haste. It sounded as if she was now trying to defend her friend, but for what exactly Chuck was still not sure. If it had only been a mere childhood crush, then why did both ladies now seem so reluctant to his interest in it?
"Wyatt? That ole lovesick ninny?" Nate chortled, slamming down his cup in exclamation. He was chuckling profusely until he realized he was the only one doing so, and so he slowed his laughter to a stop.
"You know of him?" Chuck queried, point-blank.
Nate nodded, "Yes, your highness. I knew of him back at Cambridge. You may remember when we—I mean I plagiarized love poems as our—my own, in means of romancing past ladies at court."
Chuck briefly recalled the memory though it was rather dull in detail.
"He is well known then?" the prince furthered. He was asking his friend, but he cast an occasional glance at the ladies to observe their demeanors. Blair's was still not one that suited him.
"Not exactly, but perhaps he wishes to one day be—as do all poets, and artists alike I suppose. I knew of him because of our schooling together, and the other boys teasing of his work." It seemed Nathaniel could not help himself, but to laugh again at the word.
"I see," Chuck responded, averting his gaze to Blair. She still would not look at him. He could guess Nathaniel had more information, or could with time, but he did not wish to discuss it in front of Blair or Serena. He gritted his teeth and pushed back on his chair, not caring for the events that had transpired while at the table.
He sighed, narrowing his eyes as if Blair would feel the intensity of his stare.
"Nathaniel, go and ready the carriages, but take the Lady Blair with you. After all, she expressed how tired she was," Chuck commanded. Finally, Blair lifted her head and looked at him, frowning in puzzlement. Her chest lifted up and down more rapidly, and she appeared to be breathing much heavier than before.
"Of course, your highness. It is good we leave now, if to avoid nightfall," Nate agreed, bowing his head to Chuck. He then stood and walked around the table, pulling out Blair's chair some and motioning for her to stand. "Lady Blair."
Blair glared at him, but only for a moment before her dark brown orbs returned to him. Reluctantly she stood, though she paused for a moment and opened her mouth as if to speak.
He merely raised his brow in response, as if to challenge her.
"Yes, Lady Blair?" He knew his use of her formal title would only further unsettle her, but that was sort of the point. He wasn't happy with her, and therefore purposely poking at her in a less than playful way.
"I—I only wondered why your highness is not escorting me?" she asked, stuttering. Her doe brown eyes beseeched him.
"Because I would like a moment more with the Lady Serena, not that I need furnish you wish a reason. So you may go with Nathaniel now," he ordered. She needn't question him any further if she didn't want a spectacle. She looked hurt by this, but her discomfort did not currently move him.
"Yes, your highness," she breathed, her voice hoarse. He could hear the dejectedness in it. She bowed her head to him, and then looked to Serena.
"I will miss you, S, as you are my most true and loyal friend."
Chuck did not miss the specific words she'd used in which to bid her farewell. It was obvious to everyone there they'd been said with meaning. Unfortunately for Blair while Serena was her best friend, she was also one of Chuck's subjects. Perhaps the object of his little liaison didn't truly know the rules of the English court as well as she thought.
"Goodbye, B," Serena returned, looking longingly at her friend as she began to exit the room. It was clear she did not wish to be left alone with the prince anymore than Blair did. Slowly she turned her attention back to Chuck, looking up at him with a forced and fearful smile.
"How could I be of service, your highness?"
"I am not entirely sure yet, but I feel you shall be, Lady Serena," he responded, motioning over to a servant to bring them each another glass of wine. She seemed baffled by this, now likely even less sure about what he wanted. He cleared his throat.
"Tell me, do you wish you could return to court? Blair spoke of how fond you were of it on the ride here." He leaned back in his chair, bringing the chalice to his lips.
"Of course, your highness. Court life is much more exciting than the country, as you surely suspect. However, the King has so graciously gifted my mother this estate and she thought it best for I to accompany her to a quieter kind of life," Serena explained, speaking carefully about his father to indicate she meant in no way to insult the King.
"I understand, but you see it is not as if you were banished from court by the King. While it would suit my father for your mother to remain at this estate, I do not think your whereabouts are of much concern to him. Should I so wish it, I could allow you both an invitation back to court and the means to preside there," he told her, purposely phrasing his words with discretion.
Serena's eyes fell from his and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
"While I am flattered and most thankful for such an offer from his highness, I am afraid I do not understand why he would wish to bestow such a gracious gift on me, someone he knows so little?"
"Does that matter?" Chuck scoffed, getting some irked she was holding up the conversation with her questions.
"As your loyal subject no, your highness, but as a most dear friend to the Lady Blair it may," she explained, struggling to find the right words.
Chuck caught on to what she was indirectly asking and he couldn't help, but chuckle under his breath at the notion. She thought he had means to sleep with her, and he found such a notion ridiculous. Why would he want her when he had Blair, even with his newfound doubts about her? Physically the blonde did nothing for him, as had no other women since he'd brought Blair to his bed—not that he'd tried, but he'd had a good idea as he felt no need to look.
He shook his head.
"My Lady, trust you have nothing to fear of me—presently. Nor shall you in the future shall you always remember you are indeed a loyal subject to the crown. However, I can assure you I only want your friendship in return for this gift," Chuck assured her.
Serena's shoulders fell and her expression looked quite relieved. This hypothetical situation of her taking him from Blair seemed to bother her so much that he'd wondered if it'd happened before—perhaps when they were younger. Clearly as he'd suspected, he had much he could learn from Serena, and it only made it easier that she was not the wisest.
"Then I would have no objections, your highness. I should like to serve the crown, however it sees fit. And I should be most happy to be at my friend's side, and be a comfort to her at court," Serena agreed.
Chuck smirked, taking the last swig of his wine and then motioning for a servant to fetch them each another. He was starting to feel a buzz himself so he knew the girl before him had to be good and drunk. Luckily for her his intentions were not of a dishonorable nature, well not in a sexual way at least.
"The Lady Blair has new quarters at Hampton Court. I will make it so that you may live close by and be one of her ladies, should she have no objections of course," he furthered. Placing Serena amongst Blair's ladies would not only give him access to her and all her past information, but then also anything presently going on as well.
Serena's eyes widened as if electrified and she giggled drunkenly.
"That would be simply spectacular, your highness. I am sure she will have no objections. You are so very magnanimous. It is not a wonder she is so fond of you," she told him.
Chuck smiled back at her, then holding out his cup as if to cheers.
"Let us drink to it then. I shall send a carriage and servants to collect you and all you shall need in, but a week's time. When you arrive at court, all shall be provided for you—so long as you stay in the good graces of Lady Blair, and myself." He figured the terms had to be easy enough, even for Serena in her inebriated state.
She nodded merrily and extended her cup, clinking it against his, and drinking the rest down; afterwards she fell back in her chair some, hiccupping.
"Forgive me, your highness. I have had far too much wine and fun this afternoon," Serena apologized, looking down in mortification.
Chuck shook his head, standing up from the table and turning towards her.
"You are forgiven, my Lady. Though I think you shall find in coming to court, that there is still much more wine and fun to be had. Till then, Lady Serena."
"Your highness." Serena jumped up quickly and bent down in a bow.
He acknowledged it with a nod and then left from the room, heading for the grand doors to take his exit. As he left the Van der Woodsen home and neared the royal carriages he felt some of his crossness returning to him. It appeared there was another Thomas in Blair's life, but one she had failed to mention to him entirely. The green-eyed monster had crawled up and latched itself on to him again, spinning all sorts of spite down inside him. The endless questions it brought up were tormenting him. Who was this Sir Thomas Wyatt? Had Blair cared for him, and if so was it more than she cared for Chuck? What if she still had feelings for him? What if they had some kind of love affair back in France? What if he was still sending her love poems? And if he was English then where was he now? Perhaps he was already at Court.
Chuck stopped suddenly at the thought, kicking his feet into the rubble and balling his fists at his sides. He not only needed more information on this Sir Thomas Wyatt, but part of him wanted to bring the man himself before him. Nate had said he was some kind of lovesick poet; how could Blair have ever wanted someone like that, someone who sounded so different than he?
He was about to head for Blair and he's carriage to start their ride home and her interrogation when he stopped himself. While he was definitely going to have a conversation with her about it, but he reminded himself as someone who was to be king he must be strategic and cunning on all manners—even and especially this. He'd already decided he wanted more facts on this man and only taking Blair's word for it would not do. He needed to make sure he also sought particulars from a more entrusted source. His eyes settled on Nathaniel's carriage and he found himself proceeding towards it.
"Your highness," a servant acknowledged, quickly moving to open up the door for him. The prince climbed inside, only turning back for a moment to give instruction before they closed the hatch behind him.
"Start us home. If the Lady asks any questions tell her that you are not permitted to tell her anything other than that she is safe and we are all returning home together, but that she is to ride alone. Do not for any reason let her out of her carriage though. Now go," he ordered.
"Yes, your highness," the guard responded, bowing his head and taking off to do Chuck's bidding.
Chuck sighed, sitting down in the seat across from Nate. His friend looked to him in question, obviously wondering why the prince was riding with him and not his favorite little French liaison.
"Is there anything I can do for you, your highness?" Nate finally asked, probably able to tell that Chuck was unsure of where to start.
"Yes, Nathaniel. It pertains to things discussed during our lunch," Chuck explained with a nod.
"I thought it might." Nate smiled knowingly, retrieving a flask from his inner coat lining and offering it to Chuck before taking a sip himself. "As always I am here to assist your highness in anyway and by any means necessary."
"I know. I also know that unlike others I can entrust I have your absolute and complete confidence and disclosure," Chuck implied, getting to the point. He needed Nate to know that regardless of what information he found or where it led, it came to Chuck and him only until he saw or wanted otherwise.
"Anything I find or do shall stay between his highness and I," Nate swore, blue eyes bearing with sincerity. "Now, what is it I am to find or do precisely?"
"I am not certain what you shall find, but I want to know all pertaining to this Sir Thomas Wyatt, and especially that of whatever his… relations were with Lady Blair," he explained, reaching a hand up to run it through his dark hair.
"I want you to find me every last detail, Nathaniel and rake over each extensively. I want to know everything down to what he's doing now, where his family is, and whatever goddamn bloody poems of his you can acquire. Do you understand?"
"Yes, your highness. Completely," Nate assured him. He then paused for a moment, as if to think something over before he spoke again. "I only must ask what your highness would wish for me to do if he resides in England now, or close to court even?"
"Then you tell me at once… for I may—I may like to make his acquaintance," Chuck divulged, nostrils flaring. He was not sure it would be a pleasurable experience for either party was that to ever come to fruition.
"Of course, your highness."
"You are a good friend, Nathaniel. I take comfort in knowing I can trust you," Chuck complimented, reaching out a hand to pat him on the chest. He then leaned forward, holding his hand out the carriage window and signaling for the caravan to stop. They had been riding for a little while now, and he had not intended to spend the entire time in Nathaniel's carriage, but to only iron out some details before he spoke to Blair. He did not want to risk the possibility of her swaying him or comforting him out of the certainty he now felt for how he wished to proceed on this. He could not let his…feelings cloud his judgment.
The carriage stopped and the doors opened for them. Chuck moved to climb out, only stopping to turn and look back at Nate once more before leaving.
"One more thing, Nathaniel."
"Yes, your highness?" Nate asked, sitting up and quickly straightening out his posture as if he needed to do such to receive further orders.
"I am bringing the Lady Serena back to court to be one of Blair's ladies. I thought the information may be of interest to you is all, but do with it whatever you will," Chuck revealed, smirking at his friend before departing for good. He had seen it on Nate's face before he'd gone that what he'd told him had indeed been so. It was evident his friend was taken by the blonde, and made all the more obvious by that last look on his face. Perhaps things were about to get more interesting at court for both of them; it was only rather that would be in a good or bad way that was yet to be determined.
XOXOXOXOXO
Blair peaked out the curtains of her carriage window, searching for any indication of what was going on or why they had stopped. Earlier when they had first departed she had demanded a servant tell her what was going on, and particularly why Chuck was not accompanying her, only to be dismissed to the very spot she now sat. If she were honest with herself she could at least gather a good idea of why she'd been left to ride alone, most likely having most to do with the topic of the conversation during lunch. She had so wished Serena would have been able to keep her wits about her while drinking. Blair would have preferred she talk about practically anything other than Blair's past… affections. She didn't want to think of it now even, let alone have a future discussion with Chuck about it—about the other Thomas.
Blair stilled for a moment, her breath escaping her as she stared off into the distance. She was looking inward, the image of him coming to mind, sitting up in one of the great big trees on her father's estate and grinning down at her; first the boy version of him and then him as a younger man. If she closed her eyes she was sure that she could hear him still, whispering poems to her he'd claimed at the time were written for her. He'd had such a way with words and yet he'd also taught her that words were only just that—words, and nothing more.
She sighed in frustration, kicking her feet forward to the other side of it; her shoes left small black scuffmarks on the newly painted white surface. She didn't care; it was what they got for forcing her to stay in here without any kind of explanation. It had left her to her thoughts and she didn't quite care for them either as of right now.
It was then she began to hear the muffled sound of voices outside. She reached over, picking at the curtain with her fingertip so that she could discreetly lift it up. Once she'd done that she crouched down so that she could look out from an angle that made it so anyone looking in could not see her. When she finally got a look at whom was outside she realized it was Chuck. He was exiting Nate's carriage and heading towards hers. She jumped back instantly, her heart beginning to beat much more rapid than before. A nervous lump formed in her throat. After all that time and irritation of being left alone, she was now dreading what questions may come up while in his company. She racked her mind for a solution as to how she could somehow avoid it or in the very least put it off.
Blair closed her eyes, and tried to settle back into her seat more naturally. She thought maybe she could pretend to be asleep, buy herself some time, and try to gauge Chuck's mood—though that may be hard to do with her eyes closed. Still, it was all she could think of and there was no turning back as she had heard and felt someone had opened the door of her carriage. The weight inside shifted around as said someone climbed in, obviously Chuck, and he plopped down in the seat across from hers. She remained still, but trying to look as normal as she could, and her eyes still shut. He had yet to say anything, which therefore meant he hadn't yet called out her fake slumber or demanded that she wake.
When she felt the carriage start up again and the ride had presumed, she was fairly certain her scheme had been successful. He must have bought her act, and believed her to be asleep. She could not be more grateful for it.
"I hope you do not think me so much a fool that you think I should buy an act I can so plainly see through," Chuck announced, throwing any former hopes or mental declarations of success she'd had out the window. Blair felt her heart sink to her stomach, and she wondered what exactly he meant.
"Open your eyes, Blair. I know that you are not sleeping, and you believing you could fool me is not only insulting, but further infuriating. And you should entrust that it would be most wise not to continue adding to my wrath," he warned.
She could hear the instability in his voice; sense the danger in trying to further dupe him. With that in mind Blair conceded, opening her eyes to meet his. He was staring at her very intensely, his eyes having gone almost all black as they often did when he was angry. This was a different kind of rage however, and there was stillness to it that she found to be possibly even more unsettling than when he blew up. She didn't dare speak, or offer any words without him asking for them first. Instead, she waited for his and hoped he would not say or ask anything that would make the situation worse. She suspected it would not take long.
XOXOXOXOXO
"Who was he?" Chuck questioned. While they had already been on the road for a good while, when he'd been in Nathaniel's carriage, it had not been close to enough time to dull his memory or emotions in regards to the poet matter.
Blair sighed, her eyes falling to her lap as she folded her hands and set them gracefully atop her thighs.
"Serena told you his name, Sir Thomas Wyatt. Surely you have not already forgotten."
"Yet I'm still not entirely sure in what exact nature he exists to you," Chuck returned bitterly, crossing his arms.
"I knew him a long time ago, whilst I was still living in France. He lived on a nearby estate to my own. Serena and I both knew of him. As Nathaniel jested he was, but a silly boy," she explained. The words did not flow out like an admittance, but were carefully thought out. She turned from him, leaning her body towards her side more as if to look out the window.
Chuck's eyes remained fixated on her, his stare no less intense than before. He felt insulted that she assumed she could cast the conversation and him aside so easily, and it certainly didn't help resolve any notions of jealousy he was experiencing.
"How well did you know him?" he asked, raising his voice a little.
Blair frowned, turning back towards him.
"What are you trying to say?" she refuted, acting as if he'd insulted her now. Her lips were pursed in the way they often did when she'd been piqued.
Chuck remained dangerously still, only his lips moving as he repeated his question she seemed to still be evading.
"How well did you know him?" he said again, nostrils flaring as he spoke.
"We were children," Blair reinforced. And yet, it was still not a direct answer. She acted annoyed by his interrogation and turned from him again, rolling her eyes.
"And what age is that of a child? You rather act like one now from time to time," he retorted, speaking out of anger. He grabbed hold of her arm, wanting her to not look away from him again until he permitted it. She was trapped in this carriage until they arrived back at court after all, and even then she would have trouble evading him if he wished it so.
She breathed in exasperation, shaking her head at him.
"As if you are not entirely responsible for that! Or has your highness forgotten his encouragement of said behavior when he is in a more agreeable and amused state?" Her eyes dazzled with a sense of wildness as she went on the defense. He could not help, but admit it to himself that it had turned him on some. But he would not allow himself to be so easily distracted. This was exactly why he had met with Nathaniel first to get other plans in motion before coming to Blair.
"I'd advise you to not continue to elude my questions, Blair. I will have them answered, one way or another," he pursued.
"Is that a threat?" she responded, looking far less fierce than before.
"No, my Lady. You would know if it were, believe me. I merely suggest that if I do not get the information I seek from you then I will ensure you I'll find it elsewhere. And I cannot promise I will be as lenient on other's lips should I have to resort to prying them open." There, that was a threat, though not directed exactly towards her.
"You needn't treat me this way, or say such things. I have in no way betrayed your highness. So why do you act as I have?" she pleaded, and he wondered if this was her now trying a different approach.
"What age were you when you knew him, and in what way? Now is not the time to spare any details." He was unmoved. He would not allow her to divert him from the task at hand, not for any reason; and he hoped his hard expression and air about him would convey that to her.
Blair sat back, seeming to ultimately realize this as she sighed in defeat.
"As I told you we were children, I knew of him only in France whilst I grew up. I can not be sure what age we first met, but I can say with certainty I did not know of him past the adolescent age of sixteen."
"Sixteen?" Chuck restated, feeling as if he needed to repeat them in order to allow them to truly sink in. For some reason in that particular moment sixteen did not sound like a child at all, but instead not too far off from the she before him now.
"And you think yourself much less a child now than then?" he scoffed, still shaking his head in disbelief at what she'd revealed.
"Yes! Yes, I assure you highness I am now very much more a woman, thanks in every way to yourself, and only you. I knew Sir Thomas Wyatt in no way which I have known your highness," Blair swore, grasping at the material of his shirt. She was speaking with such urgency to him and he couldn't help, but wonder whether it was with means to convey her innocence or to hide her guilt? All of this had made him feel so conflicted, and so suddenly at that. As a prince it was not often or easily that something rocked his world in such a way; and now because of her and this it had, and he hated it. He did not want to doubt her, but he could not help but do so. He shook his head at her again.
"If that is so then why did your friend suggest otherwise, as if he tried to court you?" Chuck asked further, grabbing hold of both her wrists so that she would release her hold on him, and he could secure his on her.
"Can a child really court another child? Serena was speaking silly from the wine, remembering it as more than it was. All I can even recall of a romantic manner was when he'd play foolish, juvenile games—"
"Such as?" he pressed.
She laughed though it sounded breathy and unnerved rather than anything even close to amused.
"Such as hiding up in trees he'd climbed on my father's estate and waiting for Serena and I or other young girls to come round. Then before we'd spotted him he'd drop letters down into our laps, frivolous little poems; all of which meant nothing," she emphasized, her eyes pleading with him to believe her.
"Love poems, you mean?" he jeered, the word burning his tongue and putting the most bitter of tastes in his mouth.
"If you wish to call them as such, I suppose. Though then the feeling would not be mutual. I for one far too much a youngling to even know the meaning of the word. And I swear to you I cannot now recall a single sonnet," Blair swore, but he could not so easily be convinced by it. Instead, he carried on further.
"And do you recall him kissing you? Was he the one who stole your first kiss, Blair?" Chuck questioned, eyes going dark at the mention of it. He realized he could not hold a kiss against her, not in good conscious considering his own past at least, and yet it still bothered him so much so he were not yet sure how he'd get over it.
"Please, your highness I beseech you. This does not matter. Would it be fair were I to ask who your first kiss were, or otherwise?" she contested, shaking her head as her cheeks flushed.
"No, it wouldn't, but alas I am the prince and you are not, therefore this world is not now nor will it ever be as fair for you, as it is me," he told her. Part of him felt bad for speaking so bluntly, and even while angered he hoped she did not think him cruel for it. However, it was evident now more than ever that Blair did not truly grasp the rules there. He sighed, attempting to soften his expression and hold onto her by releasing her wrists and touching each of his hands to her cheeks instead. He held her face not with force, but a far more tender kind of firmness.
"Please just answer the question, Blair. We cannot move on from this until you do, and I shall give you my word that your answer will not bring you harm." He sighed, lowering his voice before also adding, "Though I cannot promise it will not bring me displeasure."
Blair opened her mouth as if to speak in quick response, but then closed it again; once more caught in an internal struggle. He felt her heart quicken it's pace, beating quite profusely against his own chest. A small part of him could not help, but still wonder if she was so nervous because there were still more to it; but he pushed that back down as best he could. He could not allow his anger to continue to build in such a small space either, and with god only knew how long of a ride left. He did not want to put himself or her in a situation where he could really lose his temper, do something he regretted or that could not be taken back.
The sound of her sighing brought him back from his thoughts on it.
"He was my first kiss, though you especially could hardly call it that. But I swear to your highness on my entire being that we were not at all lovers of any sort, it was at most how you say—puppy love?" Blair disclosed slowly, her accent coming out more as she struggled to find the absolute best English to explain to him with.
He could tell if nothing else she was genuinely trying to explain herself; he only hoped what she said to do so was also as truthful. Still, what she had said did not so easily sit well with him. He would need to give himself a moment, take it in, and try and process it without throwing it back at her. He did not want to be cruel for the sake of being cruel after promising her a safe way to hand over what she knew. He let go of her face and sat back in his seat, further away from her, and looking away from her too. He looked out the window, hoping the scenery might relax him; it didn't. The idea of her kissing another man, one he could not even accurately picture, felt like it would surely drive him mad. How could he allow himself to be so taken by her that something like this could spin such a reaction from him? It was unacceptable.
"Chuck?" Blair asked with uncertainty, her voice breaking some. He turned to look at her again and saw that large crocodile tears had welled in her doe brown eyes. He gritted his teeth and cursed her for this. She knew that he didn't like seeing her cry, or being the cause of what her upset.
"I do not like this, Blair," he stated alas, not sure what else to say. He reached a hand up to his head, running it through his hair in frustration.
"If I could change it I would," she offered, though her voice sounded below a whisper. It was evident she was scared to do or say the wrong thing, and most likely also sorting through a million different thoughts inside her own head.
Chuck sat back up, resting one hand on his knee and using the other to point at her.
"You will not keep anything like this from me again. If there is anything else of this nature that should come to you now or in the future I want you to swear to me that you will divulge all and everything about it to me," he instructed. He was no longer speaking to her with anger, but his demeanor was still hardened.
"Yes, Chuck," Blair breathed, scooting forward in her seat and looking as if she wished more than anything to physically reach out and touch him.
"I am serious, Blair. Is there nothing else you would like to tell me now?" he asked slowly, quirking his brow at her. He prayed she was being forthright.
"No, your highness. There is nothing else of importance, nothing else you need know," she swore, holding out her hands for him to take. He stared down at them for a moment, sighing as he tried to see if he could sense whether or not she was being truthful. He supposed there was no sure way to tell, and that really irked him. So he gave in, and reached out, taking both her hands and her word for it.
"Fine… good," Chuck conceded finally, lifting his eyes up to meet hers again. She smiled softly at him, though still looking unsure of what to expect from him. He took a deep breath and brought one of his hands up to touch her cheek, stroking her flesh with the back of his palm. Blair closed her eyes, her grin growing at his touch.
"You are so very special to me Blair, so very sacred," he admitted, lowering his voice to a whisper. Blair's eyes opened at the words and he could tell they'd touched her, along with something else in her expression he could not yet decipher. He moved the hand that stroked her cheek down her jawline and took hold of her chin gently.
"This is why it would unsettle me so very much to have others reveal things to me that you yourself had purposefully kept. It may break that sacredness I feel for you? Do you understand?" Chuck asked, but although it had ended in a question the more important part of it had been the first half. He hoped more than anything she truly understood what he was getting at.
Blair nodded, looking up at him with great devotion. He smiled at her response, lifting up in his seat and leaning forward onto hers. He then took her face in his hands and pulled her into a strong kiss, his lips strongly tugging at hers. He'd like to see some silly poet kiss her like that.
When he felt her kissing him back he felt his body begin to physically become more at ease, catching up to his disarming on an emotional level. When they broke apart from the kiss their foreheads rested against one another's as they inhaled quickly, trying to catch their breaths. It was silent for a little while, but a comforting kind of quiet now that they'd somewhat sorted things out. Chuck closed his eyes, smirking to himself as he continued to relish in the feeling of her touch and body warmth. He then fell forward into the seat beside her, spooning his body around hers from the side, and resting his chin on her shoulder. He breathed in her scent, burying his nose in the crook of her nape.
"Am I still to receive my gift when we return to the castle tonight?" Blair asked after while, not failing to remember his promise of a gift in true Waldorf fashion. The fact that she had remembered and was still so concerned with it after all that had happened was almost entertaining really. In fact, thinking on it more he decided he found it both indeed amusing and endearing-for her. He could not help it; he began to chuckle loudly at her expense.
"What?" Blair asked, turning to him with a frown. "It was you who so immensely specified that I was to receive it tonight. And we fought, but have we not now made up?"
He opened his eyes, looking up at her with an only further amused expression. He then shook his head, chuckling again.
"Yes, my sweet; that is correct. Do not fret. I shall still give you your gift tonight," Chuck affirmed, kissing her on the forehead and tucking a dark curl behind her ear.
Blair smiled back at him before moving forward to wrap her arms around his waist, and rest her cheek to his chest. She gave him a good squeeze and turned into him, nuzzling up against him. She felt so good in his arms, so right. Chuck could only hope that things were really as they felt then, and not but a deception. Only for someone like him that was much easier said than done. For even as he held her now, and relished in it, something still felt off that had not prior; for far in the back of his mind now, still whispering to him every so often, was a voice fueled by fresh doubt. And he felt both a part of him desperate to rid himself of this voice distrustful her, and part of him wanting to listen to it. But which part of him he'd give into for now was yet to be known; even to him, only time and his future findings would tell.
XOXOXOXOXO
Author's Note: Okay yowza that was a long chapter! (28 pages to be exact!) I hope you guys didn't mind this though as I felt it all needed to included to be one, conclusive chapter as a whole. First off let me thank you again to everyone who is reviewing! Seriously you guys keep me writing and pumping out chapters as quick as I can. Whenever I get a review it typically inspires me to sit down and write some, if I'm not already. Anyways, please let me know what you thought of the chapter, how you like the story, and if nothing else just if you're here and reading! I really love and appreciate hearing from you guys more than you know. Till next time!