It'll get easier, Tsunade says. Eventually, it'll be as easy as breathing.
It is only then that Sakura will be able to sleep.
(It's cool.)
(It's fine.)
She can do this.
(What was her name, again?)
It's hard, because of course it is.
Tsunade wants Sakura to stand, even though she can barely move—from pain and just from a sort of bone-deep fatigue she's never felt before.
(The after-effects of the false-sleep jutsu. She knows them.)
(She's never had them this bad before.)
"I'm sorry, kid," Tsunade says, hand on her forehead.
Sakura's lying down—on the ground, because she tried to sit on the bed once and the shock of it sending chakra directly to her body's capillaries shocked her straight out of the Closed Loop technique.
She can still hear the screams she heard in that moment, in the back of her head, and it sickens her—which comforts her, a little. It didn't sicken her enough, though.
Oh please not my son.
You can do whatever you want to me but please, I'm begging you.
Not my son.
She remembers a horrible, thrilling joy.
How about I just take you both?
"Come on, kid. You need to stand up." Tsunade lies down beside Sakura, and then slowly, deliberately, stands up.
Sakura takes a deep breath (which she can do, now, after… several tries), then does her best to imitate Tsunade.
Tsuande catches her when she falls.
"Again?" Sakura asks, and Tsunade lies down again, gets up again.
Sakura feels like the most useless ninja to have ever existed, lying there on the ground.
She thought it was supposed to get easier!
She thought—
She can complain later.
Gamami sets a comforting hand on her head, her toady fingers combing through her hair.
Take your time, she says. It's okay, take your time.
"Again?"
For a third time, Tsunade lies down and gets back up. Then she repeats the process four more times at the pleading in Sakura's eyes.
One day, Sakura is going to be a ninja like Tsunade. She used to think it was unattainable, that Tsunade was too strong, too inhuman. She could shatter the earth, reattach severed limbs—she's literally sown herself back together after being cut in half! Now, looking at that Tsunade lie down on the ground and then get back up again in the same way, seven times in a row—now she has an entirely different reputation she is going to have to live up to.
Sakura matches Tsunade's actions exactly and then tumbles into Tsunade's waiting arms.
"Our weight's distributed a little differently, kid," she says with a chuckle. "But I suppose I can fix that."
She helps Sakura back to the floor, and then spins her perfectly-formed chakra through the transformation jutsu, leaving Sakura staring at herself. In Tsunade-Sakura's forehead is a seal that blazes with chakra—ten, a hundred times the chakra of Tsunade's reserves, and it's… it's what's powering the transformation, so that Sakura doesn't have to filter out managing a transformation from standing.
It's an S-rank, incredibly secret, powerful jutsu. Tsunade-original. If you see it on the battlefield, you're going to die.
And… she's using it for this.
Really, Tsunade is just—
Sakura watches her four times, and then stands.
"You're really something incredible, kid," Tsunade says, in Sakura's voice, from Sakura's face, which she is wearing so that Sakura can copy her without having to do any of the work, and Sakura doesn't know how to say that actually—no, compared to Tsunade, she's really not.
Toumi comes, as Sakura is taking staggered steps across the floor, and wow has she not aged as well as Sakura had been thinking she would.
(When was that again?)
"Old bat," Tsunade greets her.
"Brat."
Sakura stands between them, and looks between them with her eyes, because she hasn't figured out how to move her neck yet.
"Come here, child," Toumi says. "Don't make an old woman like me walk more than I have to."
Yeah, see, the thing is Sakulra remembers Toumi from before she left, before she retired from active duty. In her prime, she was stronger than Kakashi is now, one of the ten strongest ninja in the village.
No way is she buying this feeble old woman crap. Her chakra flow is as calm and strong as it's always been.
She does as Toumi asks, anyways.
Step after slow, agonizing step, she crosses the room.
After the first step, Toumi's whole body lights up like a Byakugan.
"Very good, child," she says, curling her hands around Sakura's elbows when Sakura reaches her. She stays there for a moment, blind eyes staring blankly at Sakura's left clavicle. "You really did it," she says, blind eyes rising to meet Sakura's as her chakra fades from her body. "It took that Senju brat three and a half years, but she's always been a bit of a hack, if you ask me."
Tsunade clears her throat meaningfully.
"You heard me," Toumi says.
"How much—How much am I still me?" Sakura asks, and Sakura doesn't know how if she wants Toumi to notice how little of her is left or not.
Toumi smiles.
"Enough. Keep up the good work, child. Come to the compound when you've finally gotten yourself discharged. It's not the same without you."
She smiles, faintly, and then walks to the part of the wall everyone leaves through, each step less fake-rickety than the last. (Sakura was right.) It opens to the false hospital corridor outside, and then closes behind her.
Sakura'd really like to be able to turn to Tsunade and raise an eyebrow.
"What was that?" she asks instead, still staring at the door, even though she already knows. She needs to perform a bit of ignorance… or maybe they'll start noticing how little of her is left.
"Call it insurance. Let's do it again."
(Now, if Sakura's reading this room right, she's pretty sure Tsunade is building up a cadre of powerful people to vouch for her, so Danzou can't swoop in and steal her away.)
(It won't work, but if Danzou comes for her, he's going to find just what Sakura can do with flawless chakra control.)
(There's a reason she wanted it in the first place.)
After Toumi comes an Inuzuka Sakura doesn't really recognize (it's been two decades, after all), big and brawny and more of a rectangle than any other shape. She has long red fangs painted on her cheeks, a big poofy head of hair that looks more like a mane than human hair, and a massive, one-eyed and one-eared dog at her side.
She holds herself like an alpha, which leaves only one option—
Inuzuka Tsume (and her partner, Kuromaru)—the heiress of the Inuzuka clan.
(Last time Sakura saw her she was a stubby little child with eyes filled with all the hatred in the world as she glared balefully up at him as her little puppy of a dog snarled at her and attacked her pant legs.)
Sakura is working on moving her hands. She makes a fist, then opens her hands as far as they go.
Fist, open.
Fist, open.
Fist, open.
Tsunade isn't here.
First time in… well, Sakura still has no sense of time—a long time.
"Really want to use your favor on this?" she asks Jiraiya, where he is crouched at Sakura's side, as Kuromaru comes up to Sakura and snuffles at her feet and her stomach and her hands. Kuromaru's cold nose presses into the back of one hand, and she giggles despite herself.
It strains her control, but it feels good. She carefully raises her hand and places it on Kuromaru's head. Kuromaru lets her for maybe a second before turning back to Tsume.
(Really, nothing?)
(She could never get any of those dogs to not fucking bite her before she left, even before she did anything.)
"I've got a lot of favors built up, Tsume. You can't let 'em stagnate like that, they start to rot—you gotta clear 'em out every once in a while."
(Jiraiya always was a sucker.)
Tsume snorts and shakes her head.
"Is that so, girl?" Tsume says when Kuromaru returns to her side and barks.
She turns her gaze up to Sakura and looks Sakura up and down appraisingly. Her nostrils flare, and then she nods.
Without any further ado, she leaves.
Sakura can turn her head, so she does so. She can't raise her eyebrow, but Jiraiya doesn't need her to. She paints ignorance across her face like she learned to do when she was five, and she broke a whole stack of her dad's favorite plates.
"I'll tell you when you're older."
Sakura is lifting her arms when a woman with black hair and matching eyes comes in. (Uchiha, Sakura would know that phenotype anywhere.) Kakashi is leaned against the wall, reading one of his orange books she now knows are porn.
Gross.
Gross gross gross gross.
The woman's face is hard, deep lines carved around her eyes and mouth. There is a scar that peeks out from the neck of her open-collared shirt, a long red line stretching from her clavicle and vanishing beneath the fabric. She holds herself like a fucking kage, but all Uchiha do that.
"Kakashi."
"Uchiha-sama."
(Shouko, then—the new head.)
"Hello, Sakura," she says, and she smiles, like she's trying to be less threatening, but she doesn't succeed, because it doesn't soften the hardness of her face in the slightest. "This is going to be a little bit scary."
What—
Shouko's eyes start to spin.
Pinwheels.
Sakura's mind scrambles in a panic, dragging her back to a dark night with blood in the air. She is frozen in it for a moment before Inner drags her back to the present.
Out of the corner of Sakura's eyes, she can see Kakashi tense, but he doesn't move. It's fine.
She's fine.
There are two handprints on her arms nobody else can see. Inner's hands, holding her arms tight—holding her in the present.
It's fine.
Those eyes are not Itachi's eyes. They are straight pinwheels piercing two concentric circles, and three dots between each arm of the pinwheels, placed between the two concentric circles.
Chakra rages around Shouko's eyes, boring into her, but… nothing happens.
(Tsukuyomi, she knows—they're testing if she's truly mastered the closed loop technique.)
The Uchiha clan head smiles, a bit ruefully.
"Senju," she says, and she says it like a curse. (And damn, isn't that a hell of a mood.) "Sakura, Kakashi," she says, nodding to each of them in turn, and then leaving without another word.
Sakura's been practicing arching her eyebrows. She turns to Kakashi and does so.
He pretends not to notice.
"I don't see you moving those arms," he says, turning a page. He wiggles his elbows weakly.
Thankfully, chakra is not required to produce killing intent.
Unfortunately, Kakashi became immune to Sakura's killing intent years ago. It's possible she uses it on him a little too much.
Three men come in with Ino, while Sakura is doing sit-ups.
"Hi," Ino says, strutting into the room like she owns it, which, let's be honest here, she does. "Come on, Sakura. You're not even about to die anymore. What's your excuse for that hair?"
Tsunade audibly groans, and Ino dashes a glare at her before kneeling in front of Sakura.
"Stop that," she says, slapping at Sakura's knees to make her stop doing sit ups.
Sakura does, slowly moving her elbows to rest on her knees, and folding her arms.
"Ino, we have some business we need to attend to," Inoichi says with a sigh from behind her.
"Yeah? Well, so do I! I have homework I still need to do! You just have to go get yakiniku in one of your stupid secret meetings."
Shikaku sighs deeply.
"You were such an easy child," he says to Inoichi, as Ino wipes Sakura's face clean and starts re-applying the make-up that Ino assures her makes her look substantially less like a zombie. "How did you produce this?"
Sakura does not miss the tightness of Ino's face in his words.
Sakura opens her mouth to protest, but before she can, Tsunade speaks.
"Shikaku," Tsunade takes a swig of the bottle by her side, "if you're going to be an asshole, you can wait outside." Her words are a bit slurred, but her gaze is crystal clear. (When she came back this time, she came back with a bottle. It should make Sakura feel less safe, but it doesn't.)
Shikaku looks a bit surprised, and more irritated than remorseful. Chouza elbows him, and they glance briefly at each other.
Sakura looks at Tsunade in surprise. She kinda thought that Tsunade hated Ino. Ino's face is also surprised, but she's too composed (and perfect) to look back at Tsunade.
You did it, she mouths instead.
I did it, Sakura mouths back, and they giggle at each other a little.
Ino's fingers shake just the tiniest bit as they smooth out the concealer underneath Sakura's eyes.
"You're gonna be okay," she says, and her voice is a little rough.
"Yeah."
They sniffle at each other, but don't cry.
Ino moves around behind Sakura, and starts to tell her about how boring today was, because "We had to spend all our time practicing the replacement technique. Ugh."
Ino's replacement technique is, of course, perfect.
Sakura takes the opportunity to lean back against Ino, just to be obnoxious, and Ino complains loudly about it.
Inoichi crouches down before Sakura.
"Hey, Sakura," he says, fitting his words just perfectly between Ino's tirades with the ease of a decade of practice.
"Hey, Oji-san," Sakura says.
Chouza crouches down beside Inoichi, and after a moment of standing awkwardly, Shikaku does as well. Inoichi turns his focus back to Sakura.
"Do you mind if I take one last look? Last time, I promise."
Before Sakura can nod, Ino interrupts them.
"Me, too," she says.
Inoichi frowns.
"What?"
Ino does not wait for him, squirming around Sakura and pushing Sakura's legs out of the way so that she can press her clan seal against Sakura's stomach before promptly collapsing into Sakura's lap. Slowly, Sakura re-adjusts Ino's form on her lap, brushing her hair back from her face, as Inoichi makes an irritated noise and Shikaku laughs.
"The room's sealed! It's not easy to break into! This was never a problem before!" he says, and Sakura slips into her own mind.
She finds Ino standing at the center of the desolation of her mind, staring, horrified, at the blackened desolation all around her.
"Sakura," Ino says, voice tight.
Until just now, she'd forgotten about it, almost. She'd like to fix it, but that'd almost definitely break her concentration. (However much of Orochimaru there is in her, it's not enough to make her want that nasty flesh mind—she wants that grassy knoll back.)
"It's fine," Sakura says, and Ino gives her a look. "Don't cry, I've cried enough about this."
"I wasn't gonna cry," Ino says, blinking back tears.
"Look," Sakura says to distract her, pointing to the water lily that's standing untouched in the center of the desolation. "It's you."
Ino looks down at the little water lily she planted in Sakura's mind—the water lily that gave Sakura a line to never let Orochimaru pass, no matter what.
It is still untouched with the acid of his chakra.
Ino crouches down before it, and reaches her hand out to brush its tiny white petals. She smiles.
"This is where we met, isn't it?"
Sakura comes to squat across the flower from Ino. Behind her Inoichi appears in her mindscape, but she ignores him. He's going to confirm she isn't wearing Orochimaru's face in her own mind, and test that he can't affect the barrier holding Orochimaru back while his two lackeys just stand there and watch. (Sakura doesn't know why they're here, they don't have anything useful to contribute.)
"Yeah," Sakura says.
Ino scoffs, but she's smiling. "You're so sappy, don't you have anywhere better to imagine?"
Behind Sakura, Inoichi snaps his fingers, chakra pulsing out from him, into her mindscape, and then… dissipating.
Huh.
Sakura's immune to Yamanaka mind jutsu, apparently. How convenient. That might explain why he can't see through the illusion she pulled over the long fissures of Inner Sakura that still run up and down her mind-self.
"Damn," he says appreciatively under his breath.
"No," Sakura says to Ino, and then turns to meet her pupil-less light-blue gaze.
Sakura sees Ino's face split with a smile, even though she tries to hide it by turning her face away.
Inoichi crouches beside the both of them, planting a hand on both of their heads, smiling.
"Daddy," Ino says, trying and failing to jerk out of his grip. "Daddy, stop!"
Sakura can't try, because she'd lose control of her chakra.
Thankfully, Ino can complain enough for the both of them—
"Daddy, why are you like this?"
Inoichi laughs.
"We're gonna have a conversation when we go home, Ino. There are dangerous jutsu in that room, you can't just go stealing them and using them willy-nilly."
Ino makes a face.
"But that's for when you get home." He kisses Ino's forehead despite her protestations, and then turns to Sakura. "And Sakura—great job. Really just—" he smiles, wide and genuine"—great job, Sakura." He leans down and kisses her forehead. "And let your parents know you're alive. They're going crazy with worry."
He stands.
"Take your time," he says, and then he vanishes.
Ino is wiping at her forehead, but she's still smiling.
After the four of them leave, and Sakura has moved onto slow forms, Tsunade stands from where she's crouched against the wall. With a twist of her shoulders and her chakra, the redness is gone from her cheeks.
"Alright, kid."
She taps the bottom of the hospital bed Sakura hasn't used since she started this whole thing. Sakura feels the seal on it deactivate.
"I think you're about ready."
Tsunade helps her to the bed and waves the lights away.
"Show me?" Sakura asks, even though the question makes her feel so ridiculous.
"Sure, kid." She leans down to Sakura and whispers. "Wanna know a secret?"
Sakura nods.
"The Closed Loop technique is how I can fall asleep so fast." She laughs. "S-rank technique, and I use it to treat my mission insomnia."
She produces a kunai from nowhere, and then takes a seat on the edge of Sakura's bed.
Sakura watches as she reduces the chakra flow to her brain just a little, and her entire body goes limp.
The kunai crashes into the ground, and Tsunade jerks back into wakefulness. Her chakra ripples, but does not come out of her control.
"You're probably going to lose control of your chakra when you wake up," she says. "It's fine—you'll learn to control even that eventually. It's good practice for being battle-ready moments after waking."
Sakura nods, and then hesitates.
"You want me to show you again?"
Sakura nods.
She shows Sakura again.
And then again.
And then five more times.
Sakura goes over her chakra one last time, and thinks to herself that this will be the first time she's going to sleep in… how long?
Sakura realizes that she doesn't need to be scared of the date anymore.
She's not on a timer anymore.
"How long has it been?" she asks.
"It's just after two in the afternoon, eleven days after Jiraiya and I arrived. Fourteen days after you fought Orochimaru in South Fire."
It takes Sakura six tries to go to sleep without losing control of her chakra. Tsunade wakes her twice in the "night", when her chakra slips out of line again, and—
She's looking down at Tsunade's sleeping form, a kunai in her hand.
It'd be easy.
But Tsunade just rolls over.
She doesn't even twitch.
Sakura has seen Tsunade wake at the breath of a stone ninja from the rustling of their clothes.
But Tsunade trusts her.
She doesn't wake up.
What is Sakura doing?
Sakura's head hurts.
What is she supposed to do?
Sakura sleeps for three straight days.
She wakes up with her head in a fog.
"Come on Orochimaru," Tsunade is saying to her. "You can't just laze around all day."
Sakura makes a displeased noise, tries to roll over, and her bedding is torn from her.
"Oh Sage, why do you sleep naked."
"I'm a grown man," Sakura says. "I can do what I want."
Sakura blinks as Tsunade shakes her shoulder.
"Sakura, focus."
Sakura focuses, brings her chakra under her control, and finds herself in… a real hospital room?
She can see out the windows. She can hear birds chirping.
Tsunade shakes her again, and when Sakura moves her gaze to her she finds herself looking up at Hiruzen.
He's smiling, but—Sakura long ago learned to read people's eyes (she's had to), and there's disgust there.
"Good job, Orochimaru," he says. "Excellently done."
Sakura looks at him.
SHe looks at the pond she just walked over on her first try.
What did she do wrong?
She thought he'd be proud of her. She'd wanted him to be proud of her.
Tsunade shakes her again, and the pond vanishes, replaced by Tsunade's face.
Sakura nods, and brings her chakra back under her control.
"Sorry about that. It was… easier to transport you while you were asleep."
Sakura starts, and turns to Inoichi, who's smiling, leaned against the beeping heart monitor at her side. Sakura knows for a fact it's on wheels, which means he's showing off.
"You had quite the strong showing of clan heads who came out to say that you were no longer a danger to Konoha," he continues. "Really, quite impressive. You even managed to convince the elders, though Sage knows what they're thinking."
(It actually worked—holy shit.)
Sakura cuts her gaze to Tsunade, who is looking innocently off into the middle distance. Sakura checks her reserves, and finds them full (although slowly depleting). Much higher than they should be, which means Tsunade gave her an infusion at some point. When Tsunade was shaking her awake?
By the Sage's fucking horns. Looks like she wasn't just wasting away playing Mahjong like Sakura thought.
Sakura turns back to Inoichi and smiles.
"Now, this means the fact you've returned to the village is common knowledge." He looks at her meaningfully. "Your parents. They deserve to know."
Sakura looks away.
"Okay," she says, voice small.
"Great, I'll send them in!"
"Hey!" she shouts at him, but he's already gone.
She turns to Tsunade but finds her gone as well.
Such betrayal.
She's possibly never been more betrayed.
(Well, there was that time her two closest friends betrayed and then tried to kill her because of some human experimentation, but like, this is really up there.)
She turns to Gamami, who gives Sakura's hand a little toady pat. Sakura returns the pat, and Gamami settles down beside her, closing her eyes.
Her parents appear in the door, her father obviously distraught, hair in disarray, eyes red, neck red from nervous scratching. Her mom… less so.
"Hey Mom, hey Dad," she says.
"Sage above," her dad says, crossing the distance between them and clutching her hand in his. "We knew something was wrong, but no one would tell us. They still haven't. Sakura, are you okay?"
Sakura nods, but she can't do it very fast. It's still hesitant, controlled.
No one looks very convinced by it, so she adds—
"I'm fine, Dad."
Her mom comes up behind her dad, and sets a hand on each of their shoulders. Her hand is beautiful and delicate. Her grip is strong and reassuring.
"Tell us what happened, honey," she says.
Sakura would really rather not, but looking into her mother's calm green eyes—
"Inoichi assured us that we didn't need to worry about eavesdroppers."
Sakura gives in, and tells them everything. There's probably some S-class secrets in there, but Sakura's always been terrible with secrets.
(Or was she always too good at keeping them?)
(She can't remember.)
She finishes, and her dad's grip on her hand is painful. Her mother's eyes are closed. She slowly shakes her head.
"If I told you to quit all this nonsense, would you listen to me?" her mom asks.
"No."
She sighs, long and tired.
She releases Sakura's shoulder to stroke a hand through her hair.
"Go on, Kizashi," Sakura's mom says. "Get it out."
"This is insane," her dad says. "This is crazy! You're eleven."
"I'm a chuunin, Dad."
He makes an angry sound. "You're eleven. You should be—"
Sakura frowns at her father and pulls her hand from his. He tries to stop her, but even slow and deliberate, she's stronger than he is.
"You were supposed to drop out. Even if you didn't, you were supposed to be a career genin."
This does not improve Sakura's mood. She worked hard for this.
"Dad," she says, teeth gritted.
"Okay, that's enough out of the both of you," her mom interrupts. "It's too late for regrets, regardless. What's done is done. She's an adult by Konoha law, so if we try to make her quit, she can just leave."
Her dad's face twists, but he says nothing.
"However."
Mebuki's gaze falls full force on Sakura, and Sakura can't help but look away.
She's pretty sure her mom is way scarier than a ninja.
"You've been back for two weeks. Inoichi told us that it was his call, but I've known that man for seven years now, and that just doesn't sound like him."
Sakura keeps her gaze resolutely on Gamami.
Cute, adorable Gamami.
Her mother's finger curls around her chin and pulls Sakura's gaze to her.
"That was you, wasn't it?" she asks.
Her dad frowns.
"Mebuki," he says. "There's no way—" then he looks at Sakura, and his words die in his throat.
"I'm sorry."
Her dad's face twitches as it tries to find an expression to settle on. Anger, hurt, and… grief?
Her mom's expression doesn't show any of those things, but Sakura supposes she already knew.
"Why?" Mebuki asks, in her I-already-know-the-answer voice.
Why is my vase broken, Sakura?
Why is there a kunai in the fridge, Sakura?
Where, exactly, do you think you're going with that, honey?
"It was dangerous," Sakura says, but she's… less certain of it now.
"We're your parents," her mom says.
But you're civilians, Sakura just manages to not say.
"No," she says, clearly reading it off of Sakura's face. "Don't you start that nonsense with me. We're grown adults. We've lived in Konoha for far longer than you've been alive, honey. We can make our own decisions about what risks we're willing to take. Right, Kizashi?"
Her dad nods.
"Or did you not need us? Is my little girl all grown up?"
Sakura shakes her head.
"And Sakura," Mebuki says, looking at Sakura with her patented mom face. "There's something important you forgot."
Sakura frowns.
"We are not ninja. We're your family."
Sakura frowns some more.
"Your father and I, we don't care if you have a traitorous snake sealed inside of you—"
"I wouldn't go that far," her dad interrupts under his breath.
"Or if you're an S-class missing-nin, or you're being hunted by Mist. We are on your side, always. No risk assessments, no is-she-a-danger-to-Konoha, no should-we-sacrifice-her-for-the-village. If something like this happens, ninja can't be trusted, because you never know where their loyalties lie or what they'll do if they think it's what they have to do. But you can always trust your father and I. Maybe we can't always protect you like we want to, but you are our daughter, and we will always have your back. No questions asked."
Sakura swallows and looks briefly to her dad, who nods fiercely.
"Now, Sakura," her mom says, still with her mom-voice. "The next time you get yourself into a mess like this, what are you going to do?"
"Tell you," she says, voice small.
"You're not going to lock yourself in a windowless box and hide from the world?"
Sakura shakes her head, although that part hadn't been her idea.
"Good. Now—"
She opens her arms, and Sakura falls into them.
"I'm sure that was very scary."
"It was," Sakura says into her mother's chest.
"It's okay to cry," Mebuki says. "I don't care what that stupid ninja code says."
Sakura would like to put it on the record that she definitely doesn't cry. Those wet spots on her mom's shirt were pre-existing.
Her dad attaches himself to them, wrapping his arms around them both and squeezing them for all he's worth.
"I'm sorry," she says, and actually means it this time.
"It's okay," her mom says. "Just don't do it again. We're here for you, always."
She still wears her civilian circles on her clothes, but maybe… maybe she'd kind of forgotten why she was wearing them in the first place.
Her parents stay, filling her in on their shop and her aunts and uncles and cousins until Kabuto knocks lightly on the doorframe, leaning his head in with a guilty smile.
He looks… familiar. Where does she know him from? She's so totally in the present, so totally, for the moment, Haruno Sakura, that—
"Hey," he says. "I'm so sorry to bother you, but I'm here to take Sakura to her next appointment."
Her father makes some noises, but without too much trouble, he agrees to go.
"We'll be back tomorrow," he threaten-promises, distracting her from reaching back into memories that aren't hers, kissing her on the forehead and then hugging her
"Be good, honey," her mom says, doing the same, because for all that their personalities are kind of opposites, in some ways they're basically the same.
"Keep out of trouble!" her dad shouts from the door. "And—"
His voice cuts out as he walks past the privacy barrier.
Kabuto closes the door behind them, and—Sakura remembers.
She opens her mouth to scream, but he is already there, green blades sprouting from his fingers and slicing through her throat. There is no blood, no pain, but when she opens her mouth to scream, no sound comes out.
Gamami leaps towards him, but he cleaves her in half with a single swipe of his hand, before destroying Kakashi's white fang around her neck.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck.
This dirty little orphan, she never should have taken him in.
"There's a privacy ward in place," he says, hands lashing out at her shoulders and thighs, leaving her limbs limp and lifeless before she can struggle, "but no reason to test it more than we have to."
She hasn't broken her concentration, but it's a close thing.
"It's a good thing you didn't recognize me before your parents left, huh, Sakura-chan?" His smile is wide now, a mockery of the kind smile he had shown when they met for the first time. His eyes glitter behind his glasses, and Sakura remembers that look. She remembers crafting that look. She remembers molding Kabuto into this, with her own hands.
Sage damn it all, fuck. Stupid Orochimaru.
Dammit.
She drops control of her chakra, and then kais, with all of her might.
"Don't do that again," Kabuto says, green chakra blade held to her throat, and his voice is ice cold.
What can she do what can she do what—
The world dissolves, and then suddenly Sakura is dodging to the right, straight into Jiraiya, sending them both sprawling into the mud.
"Watch where you're going—" they both snarl in unison before dashing in opposite directions before a scythe crashes down on where they just were.
"Sage damn it all," Tsunade is cursing, her arms black from poison. Her seal activates, and the blackness rolls back.
Above them Hanzou smiles. His face shifts, and now he is Kabuto, fingers glowing and hand on Sakura's abdomen. Sakura stares down as his hand twists and—
Sakura hastily gathers her chakra under her control the moment before her seal is torn asunder, blowing open her chakra reserves and every chakra pathway within six inches of it to kingdom come. They are not twisted, not broken—
They're gone.
Sakura cries out in pain, her chakra control wavers—
Her body seizes and coughs, a slimy something crawling up her throat—
She loses control of her chakra.
The entirety of her chakra reserves explodes out the gaping hole in her chakra system in the blink of an eye. She reaches for it, grasping for the chakra that is hers as her vision blurs and darkens. She drags it back into her, holds it in a false flow, across the one cubic foot of emptiness where her chakra reserves used to be. She pinches her eyes closed, makes believe that she still has a chakra system, directs her chakra to where her tenketsu should be—
A tiny snake tumbles from her mouth.
"Master," Kabuto says, and she can't see his face, can't open her eyes, but she can hear his voice quake with false fear. "We don't have any time. The other two Sannin are on their way. I cannot escape with you, but if it were you—you would be able to make it. I'm sorry I can't be more help, master. I'm—"
He stops speaking, as Sakura desperately scrabbles for the wisps of chakra she can still feel around her, pulling it into her chakra system, adjusting her chakra flow when she misses her tenketsu, spews it into the air while her capillaries scream for chakra, and—
"Very good, Ka—"
Kabuto stops speaking.
And then.
And then Kabuto laughs.
It is—it is not Orochimaru's laugh.
"Finally," he says. She can feel him crouch at her side, and she dares to open her eyes. He twists his head experimentally, all the way around, and his eyes shine with manic glee. "You're still alive," he says. "Incredible." He licks his lips with a now-distressingly long tongue. He heals her torn muscles and cut vocal cords with a wave of his hands. She wants to scream with everything she has, but it's all she can do to keep her chakra from exploding out all around her. "I'll let you live, as a token of my thanks," he says, face altogether too close. "I could have never got him to try and possess me otherwise." He stands, backing towards the window. "Next time—I won't be so merciful."
He vanishes.
Sakura tries to remember how to breathe. She is holding her chakra without a chakra system. Come on.
Sakura.
Breathe.
She gasps, and then is forced to scrabble for purchase on her chakra once more.
She holds her breath for as long as she can, then breathes again.
Scrabbles again.
Beside her, the door opens.
She turns her gaze to it, hoping against hope.
Tsunade, please—
Danzou steps through, followed by a red-haired man on one side (Yamanaka, from the eyes, meaning—Yamanaka Fuu), and a man whose eyes glow from a black mask on the other, millions of tiny chakra signatures crawling beneath his skin (Sakura would know those microscopic kikaichuu anywhere—Aburame Torune).
Fuck.
Sakura knew it. Dammit, Tsunade.
(He's damn lucky she has a hole torn in her chakra system, or he'd be in pieces on the floor right now.)
"Oh my," he says flatly. "It looks like the container for Orochimaru has intentionally released him." He twitches his shoulders, and the two chakra signatures outside the door crumble to the ground. "And she's killed her two Anbu guards. Truly, despicable. Arrest her."
Sakura sucks in a gasp of breath and then scrabbles for purchase on her chakra as his two little Root members move towards her, their expressions as flat and dead as always.
She breathes, then scrabbles for her chakra as Fuu produces a set of wood cuffs.
Torune stands by her side and sets a hand on her shoulder. She can feel his Kikaichuu crawling down his arm, hovering in the skin just above her shoulder, ready to kill her if she so much as blinks.
Sakura sucks in a breath, then scrabbles for her chakra, and she can't even move as Fuu closes wooden cuffs around her wrists.
By the doorway, Danzou smiles.
(Sakura'll kill him—make him regret not killing her here and now, when she can't fight back.)
(Just you wait.)