Disclaimer: I don't own "The Walking Dead" or any of its characters, wishful thinking aside.
Authors Note #1: I'm not sure why I decided this had to be written, but here we are. I thought it would be interesting to tackle the au idea of instead of Father Gabriel, it was Maggie who was left behind with Negan.
Warnings: soul-mates, soul bond, fated love, angst, drama, romance, unresolved sexual tension, sexual tension, post traumatic stress disorder, consent issues, dubious consent, trauma, loss, grief. Negan is not a good person and Maggie doesn't deserve this.
What doesn't kill me (makes me)
Chapter 15
She could barely see, vision doubled with his as she stumbled into the restaurant six hours later. Locking the door with the last of her strength as her back found an unhappy home against it. It was the only thing holding her upright as she searched through the dark and found him.
He was leaning against the wall facing the door. Pack abandoned by the table like he'd planned to sit in his usual seat, but needed to be grounded instead. His skin was grey. So pale that the hollows under his eyes looked like a uniform bruise. Head lolling weakly as he looked up. Facing her. Chest rising and falling just a bit too quickly to be healthy.
"Maggie..."
She threw the box and every evil piece of him at his feet.
"I don't want it," she snarled.
It was a metaphor.
It was a last stand.
Negan blinked, slow and tired. Looking like he was gathering himself to speak as the seconds lapsed into minutes. His first breath in was patchy – creaky - but he cleared his throat and tried anyway. Dehydrated of more than just water, but the will to keep going. Even being this close wasn't enough anymore. The fight was over. Done. Lost. Won.
"I know. I know you don't. But it's all I- all I've got..." he wheezed.
It wasn't a lie.
It was a brutal truth.
A desperate, last-ditch effort.
But wasn't why she was here.
She was here because of the baby. Not him. Not her. This was about Glenn. About the only part of him she had left. Now at risk because she'd finally pushed them past what a pair of unbonded soulmates could handle.
It wasn't right.
Nothing about this was.
It was cruelty.
She knew that too.
But the awful truth was, she didn't care.
Not until right now.
Not until she had too.
The only fight she had left in her was keeping that last piece alive. The hardest part was in order to do that, Negan had to keep breathing. If God didn't exist, it was clear the Devil did. Because she could think of no other reason why she would be standing over him, so desperate to touch – to be touched - that her insides were pulsing.
That had to be the reason.
The only reason.
Anything else was too much for her to accept.
Negan's leg kicked out weakly, skidding the box from between them like even that was too much of a separation. Like what was in that box was too much for him to stand as his free hand darted to his mouth like he was going to be sick along with her.
"I'm not here for you," she hissed, fists clenched. "This isn't about you."
Negan's chin dipped into his chest weakly before leveling with her again.
"I know," he said simply, eyes drifting down to her belly. "Believe me, I know."
And that was it.
That was all that needed to be said.
Negan watched her through hooded lids.
She took a step towards him, tripping and hesitant.
His hand spidered out, stretching dirty fingers across the floor.
The worst part was that the second and third step was easier.
By the end, she was almost running. Finding the worst side of God in his arms when he caught her before she fell. Bringing her in for a desperate, crushing embrace that had them both groaning. Fitting into each other effortlessly as the air turned humid and the tears running down her cheeks were kissed away when he cupped her face and kissed her properly.
It was the best first kiss she'd ever had.
Wasn't that a bitch?
He even said it aloud later, echoing her thought like it was his to begin with. Kissing her neck and rubbing stubble across the delicate skin behind her ear as he told her about his wife, the real Lucille, as they ranged naked in the abandoned dark of the restaurant. Too languid, fucked out, and relieved to remember that this was never going to be them.
He'd loved his wife.
And she'd loved Glenn.
But- there was also this.
She supposed it was the only common ground they'd ever have.
A/N: Thank you for reading. – There will be more to come.