JENNIE

I shifted on her bed for the hundredth time. Lisa's arm was around me and she was sleeping soundly, her cheek resting on her other arm, her face turned towards me, all doubt and worry erased from her perfect features. I wasn't quite so sure it was erased from mine. I'd finally chosen, and in the heat of the moment, I'd chosen Lisa. It all still felt a little surreal to me. I snuggled into Lisa's side and she sighed contently. I tried to imagine being with her like this every night, having the open relationship with her that she wanted - that we wanted. It had been such a taboo idea for so long, that I couldn't quite envision it at the moment.

I shifted again on the bed. There was one final hurdle to tackle before I could really picture going forward with Lisa…and it was one that was tearing my heart apart. Taehyung. I should get up now and sneak back into our room. I shouldn't risk him finding out this way. I shouldn't have risked making love to Lisa last night…again. I just, I seem to not always have the best judgment when it came to that amazing person. But Lisa was right, it was a bad idea. Taehyung should never catch the two of us being intimate like that. I remembered his reaction in my dream. I couldn't even begin to imagine his real reaction if he walked in on us. Especially now that he knew I lied, now that he was suspicious.

I should tell him. I should finally tell him…everything. I just had no idea how.

Sighing, I lifted Lisa's arm off of me. She mumbled something in her sleep and started to reach out for me again. I smiled and brushing a lock of hair off her forehead, kissed her softly. I grabbed my hastily flung clothes and slipped them back on, then I opened her door and with a final glance at her peaceful body, her sheet half-heartedly draped over her physical perfection, I shut it and headed back to my room.

I slipped into my bed as stealthily as I could. Taehyung didn't stir when I carefully lay down next to him, and I didn't look at him this time. I kept my back to him and carefully breathed in and out. I waited for him to move, for him to roll me over and demand where I'd been. He didn't. He slept as soundly as Lisa had been. Eventually exhaustion took me and I gave in to the slumber, intimate thoughts of Lisa on my mind.

I awoke a short while later from a particularly good dream, anxious to see her again. Taehyung was still sleeping, but I was positive Lisa would not be. I quickly darted to the bathroom to freshen up, and then quietly dashed downstairs. As predicted, Lisa was leaning against the counter, a fresh pot of coffee brewing behind her, smiling over at me and looking completely perfect, dressed in my favorite bright blue shirt that made her eyes seem inhumanly beautiful.

"Morn-"

She didn't get a chance to finish her greeting before my lips were locked on her and my hands were twisted in that fabulous hair. She returned my kiss eagerly, her hands cupping my cheeks. Between our lips, I muttered, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," she muttered back. "I hated waking up with you gone."

You would think we hadn't seen each other in days, instead of hours. I luxuriated in the smell of her, the feel of her, the taste of her. I reveled in her warmth, in her tender hands traveling down my shoulders, in the feel of her hair between my fingertips, and her tongue brushing against mine. I never wanted her to stop kissing me. That was when she suddenly pulled away from me, taking a few steps towards the table.

"We should talk about Taehyung, Jennie…"

Just then, Taehyung walked into the kitchen. "What about me?" he asked curtly.

Lisa and I were luckily a few paces apart when Taehyung had unexpectedly appeared in the entryway, but my heart shifted instantly into triple time. Lisa was more composed, and smoothly said, "I was just asking Jennie if you would be interested in hangin' with me and the guys today. There's this thing at EMP-"

Taehyung cut her off while I gaped at her. Did she just come up with that on the fly, or was that really her plan for today? "No, we'll stay here."

I didn't miss his inflection on the word "we'll" and neither did Lisa. Her face paler, she said, "Okay…come by if you change your mind. We'll be there all day." An odd tension built up in the kitchen and Lisa finally broke the silence. "I'd better go…pick up the guys." And with a final meaningful glance at me behind Taehyung's back, she left the two of us alone, in the suddenly too quiet kitchen.

A few moments later, I heard the door close and Lisa's car growl to life and drive away. And just like that, she was gone and my heart dropped a little. By her final look, I knew she was giving me time to "talk" to Taehyung, and I wasn't ready yet. I wasn't even sure if I could do it. I mean, how do you tear someone to pieces that you still care for? And I do…even throughout everything, I still loved him. Love doesn't exactly come with an off switch.

I spent the bulk of the afternoon laying on the couch, sleeping…or pretending to, while Taehyung watched over me from the chair, the TV playing in the background purely a distraction for the overwhelming silence between us. I wasn't ready to destroy him yet. I wasn't sure if I would ever be ready for that. I didn't know how to tell someone who had been everything to me for so long, that it was over.

I could feel his dark eyes resting on me all day…thinking. Taehyung was brilliant, the only reason he hadn't put it all together yet was pure devotion to me. He refused to see my flaws and he hated to cause me pain. Acknowledging my betrayal, would force him to do both.

He may have been avoiding the words, but I saw it in his eyes - the fear, the doubt. I knew that eventually he would gather the courage to ask me that dreaded question: Are you in love with someone else?

Every look he gave me, every time he touched me, every conversation he did start with me, I was sure he was going to ask me. Ask me if I was leaving him. Ask me if I was in love with Lisa. I tensed in anticipation every time. I didn't know what I would say if he did ask.

But the questions never came…

He never once asked me about the lie he had caught me in last night. He never once asked me for the real reason for the awful slap I had given Lisa. On the few instances we did speak that horridly long afternoon, he seemed to be purposefully avoiding any topic of conversation that might bring up Lisa.

By the end of the day, his expression was darker, his mood introspective. Eventually all conversation dried up, and I began avoiding his dark accusatory glances.

Lisa did eventually come back, late, hours after the sun set on our chilly little home. She walked into the kitchen and saw Taehyung and I finishing a silent dinner. Lisa glanced over to me, probably wondering if I had talked to Taehyung at all. I could only shake my head nearly imperceptibly, no. She understood. Her face was torn, and I thought she might turn around and leave again, but calming herself, she put her keys on the counter and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Her disheartened eyes haunted me though and I couldn't help but to stare at her, even though I knew Taehyung was intently watching me. I so wanted to go over to her and explain, but I knew I couldn't.

Her eyes not leaving mine, Taehyung spoke over to Lisa, "Hey, mate. I think we should all go out. How about The Shack? We could go dancing again?" His accent inflected oddly on the word dancing. My heart jumped. Why would he want to go back there? I forced my eyes back to my plate.

I could hear Lisa shifting uncomfortably. "Yeah… sure," she said quietly.

My heart started to race and I kept my head down, concentrating on my food and my breathing. This was not good…not good at all.

Lisa turned and took her beer to her room. Taehyung and I finished our awkward meal in silence, his eyes never straying far from mine. Finishing before him, I mumbled something about getting ready and stumbled my way upstairs to prepare for a night that I felt would be as equally horrific as the last time we had all gone there together.

Lisa's door was closed as I passed it and I briefly wondered if I should pop in and explain why I had chickened out in talking to Taehyung today. I couldn't though. I wasn't ready for that conversation either. I sighed and went to the bathroom to rearrange my hair, redo my makeup - anything to stop my mind from spinning.

Finally in the car ride over, Taehyung broke his hours long silence. "Have you decided what you want to do for winter break?" he asked, an oddly flat tone in his accented voice. He looked over to me and his expression softened for the first time all day, moisture glistening in his eyes. "I'd really like to take you home with me…over the holidays. Will you think about it, Jennie?" His voice wavered a bit on my name.

I clearly heard the real question he was asking me: Will you choose me? I could only nod at him, moisture stinging my own eyes as well. I turned to look out the window at the city flying by me. That was how my insides felt, that I was flying towards something, and it was too late to stop it.

Taehyung and I beat Lisa there. She seemed to be delaying the inevitable weirdness, I wished I could. Taehyung pulled us straight through the bar, to the doors leading to the beer garden in back. I noticed a sign on the door as he opened it, "Winter fest – beat the chill". Apparently we were celebrating the iciness in the air.

Even though the weather was really too chilly to just sit around and drink beer, there were a lot of people outside and Taehyung led me to the same table as the last fateful time we were here. I had no idea if he did that deliberately or not. My eyes flicked back to the gate, back to the espresso stand. Did he know about that night? I tried to force my stomach to stop turning. He ordered drinks for the three of us and we sipped our beers in silence, Taehyung looking thoughtful.

My breath inadvertently caught when Lisa walked out of the bar. I hadn't meant for it to happen. I prayed Taehyung didn't see it happen. She was just so…breathtaking. She walked smoothly to our table, her eyes oddly at peace. She even smiled over at Taehyung while she took a seat by me. My heart sped a little, part nerves, part from her nearness.

The bar was busy, the music coming from speakers all around the beer garden loud, and several people were out on the make-shift dance floor having a good time in the approaching-frigid air. I hoped Taehyung wasn't serious about the dancing, I didn't think I could fake that right now, the way my heart and stomach were flopping around. I watched the drunken people warming their bodies with physical movement, while I started to shiver a bit from the cold. Again I wondered why Taehyung sat us out here, and not inside the warm bar. I put my cold hands in my lap, resisting the instinct to reach under the table and grab Lisa's.

I don't know how long we sat there in silence, Lisa and I watching the crowd, but studiously ignoring each other, Taehyung watching me intently, but eventually, Taehyung's work phone rang. Startled, I looked over at him while he smoothly picked it up. He spoke a few sentences then closed it. Sighing, he looked over to me.

"I'm sorry. They need me to come in." Looking over me to Lisa, he said, "Can you take her home? I have to go." Lisa simply nodded and Taehyung stood to leave. I was too shocked by the turn of events to speak properly. Taehyung leaned down to me. "Will you think about what I asked?" he said quietly. I mumbled an okay and grabbing my cheeks in both hands, he kissed me so deeply that I groaned and instinctively brought my hands up to his neck. My heart raced and I was slightly breathless as he pulled away.

Lisa shifted noisily in her chair and for a second, I had a horrifying image of Lisa starting something with her. She cleared her throat and shifted in her chair again as Taehyung said goodbye to both of us and turning, left the bar. I watched him leave, my heart still racing. His beautiful face turned once at the door, to give me a final glance goodbye. He nodded a little and smiled fractionally when he saw me still watching him, and then he entered the bar to leave out the front doors.

I numbly turned my head to look over at Lisa. Would she be mad at me for that? Would she be mad at me for not talking to Taehyung today? Surely she could understand how hard this was for me. Meeting her gaze however, I only saw love in her eyes.

She grabbed my hand under the table and started talking, as if we had been on a date the entire evening and my boyfriend had not just thoroughly kissed me and left the bar.

"I was wondering…since you probably don't want to take me home to your parents yet," she paused and looked at me meaningfully, "which I completely understand." She smiled. "Maybe you'd like to spend winter break with me here? Or we could go up to Whistler? Canada is beautiful and…" She stopped and looked at me curiously. "Do you ski?" She shook her head, not waiting for a response from me, which was good, since I couldn't form words yet. "Well, if not…we don't have to leave our room." She grinned wickedly at me.

I was staring at her brown eyes and I was hearing her words…but I wasn't seeing her, and I wasn't absorbing what she was saying, other than she wanted to spend winter break with me. Unknowingly, she was asking me the same thing Taehyung just had. Lisa continued going on and on about what we could do in Canada and I tuned her out.

My mind started thinking about what Taehyung had asked in the car. Taehyung wanted to take me home with him to meet his parents, before we moved over there. Only, that wasn't the plan any more. We would be over by then, we would be over soon, and he would go home alone. I swallowed painfully and my mind tortured me, by allowing every memory I had of him to flood through me.

I remembered our first meeting. He had been smiling at all the students as they walked in and my breath caught when I saw him. I blushed slightly and looked down when his smile turned to me. The professor had him pass out some papers to the class, and as I was sitting on the edge of the row, he handed me a large stack to pass down to the others beside me.

"Hello. Enjoying the class so far?" he said quietly, and the surprise over hearing his delightful accent, and honestly, having his attractive face so close to mine, had caused me to clumsily drop the entire stack of papers to the floor.

"I'm so sorry," I said, as I knelt down beside him to help him pick them up, my face surely bright red.

"It's okay," he said sweetly. When we were all finished, he stuck his hand out. "My name's Taehyung Kim."

I blushed again and shook his hand. "Jennie…Kim," I mumbled.

He helped me stand up and carefully re-handed me the stack. "It's nice to meet you, Jennie." He had said it warmly.

Even now I remembered the thrill of hearing his accent curl around my name that first time. I hadn't been able to take my eyes off of him after that day. I'd had to work extra hard paying attention in that class.

I remembered our first date. He had asked me one afternoon in the quad. I had been completely surprised and definitely eager. I tried to keep a smooth face though, as I'd casually said "sure". He picked me up that night and we went to a very nice restaurant overlooking the river. He suggested something good to eat, but let me make my own choice. He never even let me see the bill, and we had an amazingly easy conversation all throughout dinner. Afterwards he held my hand, and we walked down the sidewalk talking casually, neither one of us wanting the evening to end. When it did end, he walked me to my door and gave me the softest, sweetest kiss that anyone had ever given me. I think I fell for him on that night.

My awareness jerked back to the present when Lisa asked me a question, and I didn't respond right away. I finally heard the question on her second attempt. "Jennie…did I lose you?" I blushed, realizing I had no idea what she'd been talking about. She was still sweetly stroking my hand with her thumb, but was looking at me concernedly. "Are you all right? Do you want to go home?"

I nodded, still feeling unable to speak. We stood and she led me with a hand comfortingly on my back to the side exit in the gate. Immediately upon seeing the parking lot, I looked for Taehyung's car where he had parked it. It was gone…he was really gone. Unintentionally, I glanced over to the fateful espresso stand. Lisa noticed my gaze and squeezing my hand, looked down on me, smiling softly as the gate closed behind us. But seeing the stand didn't take my mind back to Lisa, and our night of tortured bliss. It took me back to a simpler, purer time…with Taehyung.

I remembered our first time together…my first time ever. We had been dating for two months. For a guy in his early twenties, that was an eternity, but he never pushed me. We would kiss and do…other things…for as long as I wanted, but the second I pushed him away, he happily retreated. He never once made me feel guilty about it, which of course, had only made me want him more. He knew it was my first time and he made it special for me. He rented a cabin and we had spent a long winter weekend there. Our first time had been the stuff of movie magic – warm fireplace, soft blankets, and quiet music. He took his time with me, making sure I was completely comfortable with every step…which I was. He had been so amazingly gentle and tender, it hadn't even hurt. Afterwards, he'd held me tight to his chest, and told me that he loved me for the first time and I, of course, started to cry and told him that I loved him too…which promptly led to our second time.

Back in the real world, Lisa was leading me to her car. She was still talking softly to me. Her topic had changed to what we could do this summer. "After high school, I hitch-hiked down the Oregon coast. That's actually how I met Evan. Anyway, we should go, you would love it. There are these caves…"

I tuned her out. Step after step was barraging me with more heartfelt memories of Taehyung.

We took two steps towards the car - memories of birthdays, the latest being my twenty-first, when Taehyung had taken me to a local bar and sweetly held my hair back when I got very, very ill. Memories of Christmases past, at my parent's house, snuggled on his lap watching my family exchange gifts. Memories of a dozen red roses given to me on Valentine's Day…and my birthday…and our anniversary, all with the sweetest goofy grin on his face.

Another step - memories of getting food poisoning, and having him wipe my forehead with a cold rag and bring me water. Memories of him trying out new recipes on me, most of them really good, a couple astoundingly bad. Memories of snuggling in his bed and watching a movie. Memories of studying together for school…and promptly making out instead.

Another few steps - more current memories of traveling across the country in his beat-up car, tossing fries at each other, playing the license plate alphabet game for hours, singing along with the radio and thoroughly enjoying the twangy country songs through the mid-west, taking a quick dip in an ice cold river to freshen up, making love in his car at an empty rest stop.

One more step - walking along the pier, falling asleep with him on the couch, dancing together at the bar, him sappily calling me his heart…

Another step - the soft hair along his jaw line, his warm brown eyes, running my fingers through his dark hair, his soft lips, his alluring accent, his gentle words, his goofy grin, his good humor, his good nature, his good soul…

He was my comfort. He was my solace. Nearly everything I had faced in my young life, I had gotten through because of him, because he was always there for me, with soft words and a tender heart. Would I have that with Lisa? I remembered all of our heated fights, the words we used to hurt each other with. Taehyung and I rarely said unkind things to one another…but with Lisa…

What would happen in a relationship with her? Surely, we'd eventually have disagreements and they might be very vocal. I thought back over the course of our entire relationship and what flooded my brain was an image of a roller coaster - up and down, up and down - flying from one extreme to the next. Is that what being with her would be like? Always shifting from high to low, low to high? Could I live a life happily that way?

I liked constant. I liked safe. It was one of the reasons Taehyung and I clicked so well. He was a cooling lake: supportive, refreshing and most of all, never changing. Lisa…Lisa was fire: passionate, emotional and searing to the core. But fire didn't last…passion eventually fades…and then what? Lisa had so many options available to her. Surely one day, when that passion had faded, and no matter how much she loved me, she would cave to one of the beautiful women always flocking to her. I mean, gorgeous girls were constantly throwing themselves on her. I wasn't physically special, even if she insisted I was beautiful. And she was talented, she could really make it big one day. Then what? The women already flocking, would quadruple in size. How could she possibly resist them all…forever? That would never happen with Taehyung, of that I was sure, but with Lisa… I knew she would hate herself, but it seemed, possible.

I stopped walking. I yanked my hand away from Lisa and she stopped walking too. I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave the man who had been my life for so long, that I couldn't even contemplate my life without him in it. At least…I couldn't yet. I needed more time. I needed to be sure that Lisa and I had something that could work, before I threw away a promising future with a good man that I did love deeply.

Lisa took a step and then turned to face me; her face was gorgeous in the moonlight, composed and yet at the same time, achingly sad. Her eyes nearly broke my heart, and I had to look away. It wasn't just that they suddenly glistened too much, the deep brown fade into what could very easily shed into tears. It was the calm resignation in them that tore my heart.

Silently she regarded my expression for a minute and then quietly she said, "I did lose you…didn't I?" I looked up at her calm face, surprised. Had she known me better than I knew myself? Had she known that I would do this to her, all along?

"Lisa, I…I can't do this…not yet. I can't leave him. I need more time…"

Her calm face broke with a touch of anger behind her eyes. "Time? Jennie…nothing is going to change here? What good is time to you?" She shook her head and nodded it in the direction of our home. "Now that he knows you lied, time will only hurt him more." She meant my indecision would hurt Taehyung, but as her eyes glistened even more, I was sure she was also talking about herself.

"Lisa, I'm so sorry…please don't hate me," I whispered, my own eyes brimming as well.

She ran both hands back through her hair and left them in the tangled mess for a moment, before bringing them back to her sides. "No, Jennie…no." Her voice was quiet with restraint, and a shot of fear went right through me.

"What do you mean? No, you don't hate me or no…you do?" My voice broke on the end, and I swallowed painfully.

Seeing my pained face, she brought a hand up to my cheek. With a tight voice, she softly said, "No, I can't give you any more time. I can't do this. It's killing me…"

I shook my head as tears finally dropped to my cheeks. "Please, Lisa, don't make me-"

"Ugh…Jennie." She bought her other hand to my other cheek and gripped me, almost harshly, cutting off my objection. "Choose right now. Don't even think, just choose. Me…or him? " Her thumbs brushed aside tears that were spilling over them. "Me or him, Jennie?"

Thoughtless, I blurted out, "Him."

The very air around us seemed to vibrate with the sudden silence between us. She stopped breathing and her eyes widened in shock. I stopped breathing and my eyes widened in shock. Oh god…why would I say that? Is that…is that what I want? It was too late to rethink my hasty choice. It was too late to take the word back. I watched as a tear dropped heavily to Lisa's cheek. That single tear seemed to solidify my word. The damage was done. I couldn't go back now if I wanted to.

"Oh," she finally whispered.

She started to remove her hands and back away from me, and I clutched her tight and tried to pull her closer. "No, Lisa…wait. I didn't mean-"

She narrowed her eyes. "Yes, you did. That was your instinct. That was your first thought…and first thoughts are usually the correct ones." Her tone got a little icy, and then she closed her eyes and swallowed. "That's what's really in your heart. He's what's in your heart…"

I grabbed her hands and held them tight in front of us, as she took a few calming breaths. I could see the struggle on her face to control her anger, and I feebly flipped through my head to come up with something to repair the damage I'd just carelessly caused. I had nothing. No burst of genius on how to fix this.

When her face was calmer, she opened her eyes and my heart broke at the sadness in them. "I told you I would walk away, if that was your choice…and I will. I won't make trouble for the both of you."

Her gaze sad, but achingly full of love, she quietly added, "I always knew where your heart really was anyway. I never should have asked you to make a choice…there never was a choice to make. Last night, I did hope that…" She sighed and looked down to the pavement. "I should have left ages ago. I was just…being selfish."

I gaped at her, disbelieving. She thought she was being selfish? Here, I was the one literally shuffling between the beds of two person, and she was selfish? "I think I give new meaning to the word, Lisa."

She smiled a little when she looked back up at me, and then her face got serious again. "You were scared, Jennie. I understand that. You're scared to let go…I am too. But everything will be fine." Almost as if to convince herself, she repeated, "We will be fine." She spoke so quietly that I could barely hear her over the loud music drifting over the fence from the beer garden.

She swept me into her arms for a tight embrace. I threw my arms around her neck and curled one hand through her wonderfully thick hair. I inhaled the scent of her skin mixed with her leather jacket, savoring every second with her. Her arms pulled me in so tight that I could barely breathe. I didn't care, she could have compressed me into her body and I wouldn't have cared, I ached for her closeness so badly. My mind was still spinning over my shifting choice. I wasn't sure what I wanted, but maybe Lisa was right…maybe first thoughts are the correct one.

With a voice thick with emotion, she whispered in my ear, "Don't ever tell Taehyung about us. He won't leave you. You can stay at my place for as long as you like. You can even rent out my room if you want. I don't care."

I pulled back to look at her, tears streaming mercilessly down my face now. She answered my unasked question, another tear shimmering down her cheek in the moonlight as well. "I have to leave now, Jennie…while I can." She brushed multiple tears away from my cheeks. "I'll call Somi and have her come get you. She'll take you to him. She'll help you."

"Who will help you?" I whispered, searching her achingly perfect face in the silver light. I knew how much she cared now. I knew what I meant to her, and how extremely difficult leaving me was for her. I knew how hard it was for me, and I felt like dying.

Swallowing, she ignored my question. "You and Taehyung can go to Australia and be married. You can have a long, happy life together, the way it was supposed to be." Her voice cracked on the end and another tear rolled down her cheek. "I promise, I won't interfere."

I wasn't letting it go though. "What about you? You'll be alone…" I needed to know she would be okay.

She smiled sadly. "Jennie…it was always supposed to be that way too."

I stared at her sad brown eyes, placing a hand on her cheek and holding back a sob. She was willing to give up everything she had ever wanted in this world - a real, deep, to the bottom of her soul love, without a fight, to save Taehyung's and my relationship. Her good heart broke mine. "I told you, you were a good person," I whispered.

"I think Taehyung would disagree," she whispered back.

I threw my arms tightly around her neck again as a hauntingly slow beat drifted over the fence and pounded through my body. I ran my fingers back through her hair and choked back another sob as she rested her forehead against mine.

"God, I'm going to miss you…" Her voice cracked at the end and she swallowed loudly.

It was too much, it was too hard. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't let her slip away. I loved her too much. This was too hard. This felt wrong…all of this just felt wrong. I couldn't let her go…

"Lisa, please don't-"

She immediately cut me off. "Don't, Jennie. Don't ask me that. It has to happen this way. We need to stop this cycle, and we both seem incapable of staying away from each other…so one of us needs to leave." She exhaled heavily and spoke quickly, while rocking her head back and forth against mine, her eyes tightly closed. "This is the way Taehyung doesn't get hurt. If I'm gone, he may not question your lie. But if you ask me to stay…I will, and he'll eventually find out, and we'll destroy him. I know you don't want that. I don't either, baby." She almost seemed to be willing herself to say the words that she clearly didn't want to say.

Pain rocketed through my body and I couldn't stop the sob. "But it hurts so much…"

She kissed me softly. "I know, baby…I know. We have to let it hurt. I need to leave, for good this time. If he's what you want, then we need to end this. It's the only way."

She kissed me again, and then pulled back to look at me; her eyes were as wet and pained as mine must have been. She reached a hand into her jacket pocket and grabbed something. Holding her fist out to me, she gently pried open my hand with her other one. Very slowly, she opened her fist and placed something in my palm.

Through my blurry vision, I looked at what she'd given me. It was a very delicate, silver chain. Attached to the chain was a silver guitar, and in the center of the guitar was a round diamond that had to be at least a carat. It was simple and stunning - perfect, just like her. I inhaled sharply and couldn't speak. My hand started to shake.

"You don't have to wear it…I'll understand. I just wanted you to have something to remember me by." She cocked her head to the side and gazed at my tear streaked face. "I didn't want you to forget me. I'll never forget you."

I looked at her, barely able to speak through the pain. "Forget you?" The very idea was ludicrous. As if she wasn't seared into the very fabric of my soul. "I could never…" I grabbed her face in my hands, the necklace still laced in my fingers. "I love you…forever."

She brought her lips to mine, kissing me deeply. The music behind us swelled along with my heart. Again, I doubted that I could do this, that I could let her leave me. It still felt so wrong. Her leaving, after everything we'd gone through, felt completely wrong. How would I survive this? Surely the withdrawals of a permanent separation would break me into pieces. I missed her already, even with her lips pressed firmly to mine, I longed for her.

We savored every second that we had together. I felt like the pain would bring me to my knees. A sob broke through my lips, and she clutched me tighter to her chest. She placed a hand on my cheek and a second later, a sob broke through hers, and I deepened our heartbreaking final kiss. This was wrong. I couldn't watch her walk away from me. I needed to speak, find some magic words to get her to stay with me…I just didn't know how. I knew my life would never be the same once this kiss ended. I never wanted it to end…

But of course, nothing lasts forever.

The sound of the gate behind me smashing forcefully closed, forever changed the way I would remember this last tender moment with Lisa.

Terrified, I immediately broke contact and stared at Lisa's wide eyes. She was looking past me, at the figure at the gate, but I could not make myself turn to look. I didn't need to look anyway. There was only one person on this earth who could have caused the intense look of fear, sorrow and guilt on Lisa's face. My whole body started shaking.

"I'm so sorry, Jennie." Lisa whispered to me, never once taking her eyes from the gate.

Taehyung had just entered our small circle of private hell, and there was no going back for him, for any of us.

"Jennie… Lisa…" My name came out like a question, Lisa's like a curse. Taehyung moved closer to where Lisa and I were quickly stepping away from each other. His face was confused and at the same time, livid. He had seen that all too tender moment.

"Taehyung…" I tried to come up with something, but I couldn't. I suddenly realized that Taehyung had lied; he had never been called away. He had orchestrated this, tested us…we had failed.

He ignored me and glared at Lisa. "What the hell is going on?"

I ran through some excuses that Lisa could say in my head, but dropped my mouth in shock as Lisa simply told Taehyung the truth. "I kissed her. I was saying goodbye…I'm leaving."

I fought back my despair at that statement, as I watched anger flare in Taehyung's dark eyes. "You kissed her?" I thought for a moment that he would leave it at that, but then he blurted out, "Did you fuck her?"

Shock again flared through me at Taehyung's conclusion to Lisa's simple statement. He had known, or at least suspected. I looked over at Lisa, silently pleading with her to lie.

She didn't.

"Yes," she whispered, cringing a little at Taehyung's crudeness.

Taehyung's mouth dropped wide open as he glared at Lisa. Both of them seemed to have forgotten that I was even there. "When?" he whispered harshly.

Lisa sighed. "The first time was the night you broke up."

Taehyung's eyebrows rose, along with his voice, "The first time? How many times were there?" I closed my eyes, hoping this was just a nightmare.

Lisa answered very calmly. "Only twice…"

My eyes flashed open at her statement. Why would she lie about that? But at a meaningful look from her, I understood. Our last few days together had in no way constituted what Taehyung had crudely asked her. It wasn't a lie, simply…a half-truth. Even in my horror for the situation, my heart warmed a little at her omission.

She calmly finished her thought, looking back towards Taehyung, "…but I wanted her…every day."

The small warmth in my heart froze and my heart squeezed painfully. My breath completely stopped. What was she doing? Why would she tell Taehyung that? I must be dreaming. This couldn't be real. It wasn't real.

It happened so fast, that I didn't have time to comprehend it. Taehyung's fist flew around and connected with Lisa's jaw, the blow staggering her backwards. Recovering slowly, Lisa stood straight and faced Taehyung again, blood trickling down her now cut lip.

"I won't fight you, Taehyung. I'm so sorry, but we never wanted to hurt you. We fought against… We tried so hard to resist this…pull, we feel towards each other." Lisa's face cringed as she spoke, her emotional pain worse than her physical one.

"You tried? You tried to not fuck her?" Taehyung yelled, and hit her again.

My mind wanted me to scream at Taehyung to stop. My body wanted me to pull him away. Aside from shaking with fear and an aching coldness that pierced me to my very bones, I couldn't move. Shock froze me in place, gaping like an idiot, and I stood there, silently.

"I gave up everything for her!" Taehyung struck her repeatedly. Lisa did nothing to block the blows, and made no attempt to fight Taehyung back. In fact, after every hit she turned to face Taehyung, intentionally or unintentionally giving him the best possible angle every time. Blood oozed from a cut on her cheek, her lip and over her eye. "You promised me you wouldn't touch her!"

"I'm sorry, Taehyung." Lisa muttered between hits, barely audible to me, and probably completely inaudible to Taehyung in his rage.

I wanted Taehyung to yell at me, to blame me, to hit me, to at least look at me as being equally responsible for this mess, but all his rage was focused on Lisa. I had stopped existing to him. Inside I was sobbing, screaming for it to end. But I just stood there, silently.

Eventually Lisa's strength wore out, and she fell to her knees in a pant, her blue shirt stained with her blood. "I trusted you!" Taehyung screamed at her, as a particularly brutal knee to Lisa's chin knocked her to her back.

My mind couldn't comprehend it. I started rejecting this reality. I was dreaming, that had to be it. This was just a nightmare, my worst nightmare. Soon I would wake up. But still, like I was stuck in quicksand, I just stood there, silently.

Taehyung now began kicking her repeatedly with her heavy boots, screaming obscenities with every blow. A vicious one landed on Lisa's arm, more out of luck, than Lisa making any real attempt to defend herself, causing a sickening snap that even in my stupor I could hear. Lisa cried out in pain, but Taehyung didn't stop. "You said you were my sister!"

My stomach rose. My body shivered uncontrollably. Tears flowed down my cheeks. Reality was shifting to me. Was I going mad? Was that why I couldn't move, couldn't shout for help? I desperately wanted to pull Taehyung away, hit him if I had to, but listening in horror, I still just stood there, silently.

Another swift kick to Lisa's side, and another audible crack as a rib or two broke. Lisa again cried out in agony, spat out blood, but did nothing to really defend her body, said nothing to defend her actions, only endlessly repeated, "I won't fight you…I won't hurt you…I'm sorry, Taehyung…"

If my sanity was slipping, Taehyung's was completely gone. He was a completely different person viciously beating the life from Lisa's weakening body. Taehyung was beyond angry, beyond enraged. He was screaming ruthlessly at Lisa, a stream of vile things that I had never heard him utter. He seemed to have completely forgotten I was there, frozen in shock and horror as I was.

"Your word is worthless! You are worthless!"

Lisa cringed and turned her head away from those hurtful words, and I had the horrid feeling that it was not the first time she'd heard them. It wasn't the first time she'd been called worthless. "I'm sorry, Taehyung."

Taehyung didn't care about her apologies and was still kicking her viciously. "She is not one of your whores!"

Taehyung paused, panting in his fervor. Lisa weakly raised herself up on one elbow, her body crumpled and bruised in pain, blood stringing from her mouth and freely flowing from a cut above her eye and cheek. She looked up to meet Taehyung's enraged eyes and I watched Lisa's face twist with pain.

Lisa's next words filled me with an endless warmth and a bottomless fear. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Taehyung, but I love her," she panted, her eyes drifting back to mine and contentment filling them. She seemed at peace with the fact that she'd finally done it. She'd finally openly declared her feelings for me to her best friend, her brother.

Smiling warmly at me, she also added something onto her declaration that managed to push her friend over the breaking point. "And she loves me too."

I could literally see Taehyung snap. Glaring wildly at Lisa, he shifted his weight and aligned his foot for what I could clearly see would be a disastrous blow to Lisa's head. Besides panting in pain, her eyes still fixed on mine, Lisa didn't move. Watching me, she wasn't paying attention to what Taehyung was about to do. Her inhumanly brown eyes taking me in, absorbing me like she was memorizing me, was going to be the last thing she ever did.

Without any conscious thought, I screamed "No!" and finally able to move, I dove to the ground to shield Lisa. The surely fatal blow meant for her, connected with my temple instead. I thought I heard Lisa shout my name, and then the whole world went black.