Chapter 7: An Ambush and Anger

Hermione stepped through the fireplace in her apartment and hurriedly cleaned herself off with her wand. She knew she wouldn't have long until Ron realised what Harry was doing and she needed to be gone when he -

"Hermione Jean Granger."

She let out a shriek as a disembodied voice scolded her. She spun on her heel, wand raised, sending soot flying across her cream carpet. Ginny stood against the wall, arms folded, with a very annoyed look on her face.

"Ginevra Molly Potter, you scared the piss out of me." Hermione exclaimed, scowling at the pretty red head. She should have known Harry wouldn't have been able to keep this from Ginny.

"I scared you? How do you think I've felt for the last 24 hours?" Her golden eyes narrowed on Hermione, who shrank a few inches on the spot. "My best friend goes missing on her wedding day, my husband is sworn to secrecy about where she is –"

"Harry didn't know where I went." She said immediately, but Ginny ignored her.

"but I'm not supposed to scare you?" She pushed off the wall and stepped toward Hermione. Maybe Pansy Parkinson wasn't the most intimidating woman she'd seen today. "What the hell happened, Hermione?" Ginny hissed.

Hermione's shoulders slumped and her eyes prickled with tears. She hated that Ginny was mad at her. Hated that she couldn't tell her before everything went to shit.

"I don't want to marry Ron." She said in a half whisper, head hanging as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to keep it together. Guilt gnawed at her. "I didn't… realise until I was staring down the pointy end of the wand but… I just couldn't Ginny. I don't… love him like that."

"Is there someone else?" Ginny's voice was cold and Hermione looked up, feeling like she'd been drenched in cold water. How could her best friend even be asking her that?

"Are you kidding me?" She managed to gasp out. Her ears were doing that ringing thing again and she was pretty sure she was about to vomit all over the rug Ron hated but she'd bought anyway. She laughed hysterically when Ginny shrugged and glanced up and down at her clothes. "When do I have the time for anyone else, Ginny?" Her voice pitched up as she laughed again. She couldn't believe this was the way Ginny wanted to take this and anger spiked for the first time in Hermione's chest. "Between my job, your family, Ron's matches, keeping the public appeased about my golden girl status… when the bloody hell do I have time to have a bit on the side for me?"

She shook her head and pressed her fingers to her brow. That headache was still pounding away behind her eyes and she didn't want to cry again. She was so tired of crying. She felt like she'd done more of it in the last 24 hours than she had in her whole life.

"That's what Harry said to mum but I had to hear it for myself." Ginny said after a moment. "Mum thought it was Harry."

That did it.

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut but couldn't stop the flood as Ginny wrapped her arms around her and held her tight. "I didn't really think you had someone else, Hermione. I just don't know what the hell is going on right now. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because… Because you're Ron's sister. How in the bloody hell do I tell you hey so I don't think I love him like I should but I'm doing this because it's what everyone wants…"

"Just like that, you silly cow." Ginny shook her head, rubbing Hermione's back as she cried. Ginny lead them to the couch and gathered Hermione into her arms. "You do so much, keep yourself so busy – why didn't you tell me that none of it was what you wanted?"

"Because you were so happy, Ginny. The day you married Harry was the happiest I'd ever seen you. I figured that I'd be that happy eventually too." Hermione leaned back and wiped her nose on the hem of Malfoy's shirt.

"Idiot. We're different people. It doesn't work like that." Ginny shook her head, conjuring a tissue with her wand.

"I know that now." Hermione mumbled, trying to catch her breath. "It was just easier to do what was expected than it was to disappoint everyone."

"Fuck 'em." Ginny squeezed her tightly. "Fuck 'em all."

"Gin, that's your family. I can't just say fuck 'em to your family." Hermione sighed. "Your mother loves the idea of me and Ron because I'm a hard-working woman who keeps him in line. Basically, I mother him." She rolled her eyes. "Your father loves me because I'm driven and hardworking, I went into the ministry and he was able to assist in ways that Percy never let him…"

"You know they wouldn't have cared about that." Ginny shook her head but Hermione shrugged.

"I didn't know that though. I just… did what was expected like I always have because I was on autopilot after the war."

Because that war caused us all trauma and I was too busy worrying about everyone else to notice I was drowning in it. The words remained unsaid as she let Ginny hold her. She'd stopped crying now, instead she just felt numb. She was numb and it was comfortable because that's how she'd been getting by for so long.

"Harry told us." Ginny said when the silence lasted longer than a breath. "Mum refuses to believe it but you really have just been doing things because it was expected."

"Does she hate me?"

"I think she just doesn't understand." Ginny replied. "You know mum, she's got old school ideals but I think if you spoke to her, she'd be ok."

Hermione shook her head and sat back. "I'm not ready for that." She said, wiping her cheeks with the backs of her hands, a reflex more than necessity. "Just like I'm not ready to speak to Ron… I just… I need to figure me out I think."

"Understandable, but Ron is going to be coming back here… He's welcome to stay at our place of course but if he knows you're here…"

"It's ok. I… I have a place to stay." Hermione shook her head. "I just need some things."

Ginny's eyes narrowed a little and her mouth set in an almost defiant line.

"Where?" Ginny asked. Hermione hesitated. There was no way she could tell her what had happened. Not yet anyway. She wouldn't believe her and she'd think she'd gone mad. Then she'd tell Harry and there'd be no convincing Harry that staying with Draco Malfoy was a good idea. She wasn't even totally convinced herself, but it was her best option at that moment.

"I'd rather not tell you, Gin." She said with a small shake of her head. She glanced at the clock. She didn't know how long Harry would be able to keep Ron away and she really didn't want to see him. She moved to stand but Ginny tightened her grip on her hand.

"Hermione – "

"I don't want you to lie to your brother for me, ok?" She said, unable to meet Ginny's gaze. "If neither you, nor Harry, know where I am then you don't have to lie to Ron. Just trust that I know what I'm doing and I'm safe."

Ginny thought for a moment, her expression softening, becoming sad at Hermione's words.

"I've never once doubted that you don't know what you're doing, 'Mione… I just wish you'd been able to tell me." Ginny squeezed her hand before letting it go. Hermione sighed and stood.

"Ginny, I wish I'd been able to tell myself." She admitted.

It didn't take long for Hermione to gather bits and pieces for a couple of nights, but it was long enough that Ron returned before she was done. She heard the floo roar to life and she stiffened, hand on her toiletries as she listened to Ron call her name from the living room.

"Hermione? Hermione are you here?" He yelled through the apartment. She met Ginny's eyes in the reflection of the bathroom mirror.

"Shit." She whispered, her mind blanking completely with the panic of having to speak to Ron.

"Ron, she's not here…" Harry's voice floated up after a moment.

"I knew you were keeping me away from here for a reason." Ron snarled at Harry; his footsteps were heavy as he came for the stairs. "I'm not an idiot, even though I know you all think I am."

"I don't think you're an idiot, Ron. I just don't think Hermione is -"

"Oh sod off Harry. I can't believe my best friend is taking sides." Ron gave a small laugh. "Actually, I can. Of course you'd take Hermione's side."

Hermione's heart skipped a panicked beat. She didn't want them fighting because of her. She didn't want them at odds because of her stupid mistake.

"It's alright, Harry." She called, silencing whatever Ginny was about to yell back at her brother. "Don't let him know you're here, he'll never forgive you." She muttered to her friend. Ginny rolled her eyes but nodded, dropping Hermione's toothbrush and toothpaste into the small bag.

She pulled the drawstrings and left the bathroom, heading for stairs. She stood at the top as Ron appeared at the bottom.

"You're here." He said dumbly as they both came to a stop.

"I am." She managed to squeeze out. She could feel herself shaking just looking at him, knowing what she'd done. How much she'd hurt him and destroyed both their lives. "Just grabbing a few things for a couple of days." Neither of them moved, Ron just staring at her as if trying to process the myriad of emotions running through him. He'd never been good at working out exactly what he was feeling. She may have often said he had an emotional range of a teaspoon but she knew it wasn't the case.

"You're… you're leaving?"

"For a bit." She nodded. "I have some things to think about."

"Like us?" He asked and all the emotions that she hadn't been feeling seemed to wake again. He put his foot on the bottom step and she jerked back, even though she was still on the top landing. It was enough to make him pause.

"It's ok if you don't want to get married, Hermione… I… I understand… But we'll still… we're still… us right?" Desperation filled his voice with every word and her eyes burned with tears.

She shook her head, words getting lodged in her throat. It took her a couple of goes to get them out and when she did, she saw the exact moment his heart shattered.

"I'm sorry… It's… I… We're not." She sucked in a deep breath, summoning all the energy she could. "I don't want to be with you anymore. I… I don't… I'm not happy and I haven't been for a long time. It's over, Ronald."

"No." He said quickly, moving toward her, taking the stairs 2 at a time. She moved back down the hallway to keep space between them. "No, Hermione. We can't be..."

"Ron –" Harry said in a low voice from somewhere behind him, but Ron shrugged him off.

"No, we can't be." Ron kept advancing, shaking his head. "I love you, Hermione… I love you, we're meant to be. I don't understand. You haven't even given me a chance!"

"I'm sorry." Hermione sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" She repeated it as he continued to talk, as he went from being upset to angry in a blink. She had no idea what he said, unable to process the words over the ringing panic in her ears.

"Sorry? You're sorry? Stop bloody saying sorry." His face screwed up, the fury consuming him inch by inch and he lurched toward her. "What are you sorry for? Sorry for leaving me or sorry for making this all about you? You won't even let me try to fix us, you're just giving up; you absolute, spineless harpy - " He jerked to a stop as Harry pulled him roughly by the shoulders. "Get off me Harry."

"Stop yelling at her, then." Harry snapped, fighting to keep hold of Ron's shirt.

But Ron continued, his anger warranted.

"Are you sorry we were together for four whole years? Sorry you planned a life with me? Sorry you said yes? Sorry you loved me?" Those words seemed to hit him like she'd slapped him and he paused in his tracks. "Did you ever even love me?" His voice was soft now, vulnerable; the calm eye of a raging storm.

"Yes, yes Ronald of course -" Hermione fell over her words, guilt sitting heavy in her chest.

"Yes?" He echoed. "When? When we were at war and I was the only one available? Or when my family took you in because you had no one? Were you just marrying me because my family is all you have?" The snarl was back on his face and his words felt like a physical blow to the gut. A sob tore from her mouth before she could stop it. She stumbled and reached for the wall, finding a warm hand instead as Ginny swooped out of the bathroom.

"That is enough, Ronald." She snarled, sounding more like her mother than ever before.

"Ginny?" the sight of his sister seemed to break his anger for a moment, his jaw going slack as he stared at his youngest sibling.

"That's enough. You know what you're saying is total shite so turn around and shut your bloody mouth." Ginny glared at her brother, holding onto Hermione tightly. "I know you're angry, but you will speak to her like a rational human or you don't speak to her at all."

"You… you're both…" Hermione heard Ron clear his throat. "Right. I see whose side you've both taken… Harry, I get. But you're my sister Ginny."

"I'm Hermione's friend too." Ginny shot back ferociously. "We haven't taken sides; but you will not yell at Hermione like that."

"Oh fuck you, Ginn. Both of you. And you Hermione… I hope you rot."

Hermione's eyes squeezed tightly at the venom in his words. She'd known he'd be angry when they eventually met, know that all that emotion had no where to go except up and out; but she hadn't known how badly it would hurt her to know she'd hurt him. To know that she was the villain in this story for her own selfish gain.

He was happy with them, why couldn't she be happy too? Why couldn't she have just dealt with not being loved in the way she wanted to be loved? He did love her in his own way and that should have been enough.

His footsteps rattled the house as he thundered down the staircase. Something shattered in the entry as the door slammed violently shut behind him. .

This was the reaction she'd been expecting from the wedding. She'd been surprised that there'd just been speculation in the papers and Ronald Weasley hadn't had a colossal meltdown in front of everyone; but he hadn't caused a scene, he'd apparently kept his cool right up until the moment he heard for himself that she was done.

This anger was why she hadn't wanted to speak to him so soon. She was glad her friends had been there, regardless of what it may have cost them.

"I'm sorry." She whispered through sobs, grateful that Ginny was still holding her up. Guilt, shame, grief all tore through her at once.

"He just needs some time to cool off." Ginny soothed her, smoothing her hair with gentle hands.

"He hates me and he hates you as well."

"It's Ron. Anger is just a reaction." Harry said quietly. "We'll give him a minute… have you got everything you need?"

She sucked in a deep breath and made herself stand on her own. Through bleary eyes she could see Harry leaning against the wall watching her.

"I'm so sorry, Harry."

"It's not your fault." He shook his head. He took a deep breath, looking more shaken than Hermione had seen him in a long time. He raked a hand through his already messy hair. "I thought he was going to hit you."

"I would have deserved it." She muttered, clutching her bag to her chest. "This is why you can't know where I am. He's already angry at you, there's no sense in making it worse."

Ginny cast a look at her husband who nodded in agreement.

"You have your phone on you?" Harry asked and she nodded. "And you'll be able to charge it?"

"I'll be in the muggle world." She assured him. "I'll be in touch but judging by that reaction he isn't going to want to talk to me any time soon."

She went back to her room and added a few more items of clothing, knowing that it would be more than a few days that she'd be away.

"He'll come round." Harry said again and Hermione nodded, not quite believing it. "He will."

"Maybe… I won't blame him if he doesn't… I just don't know why he was happy to settle." She drew the drawstrings on her bag tighter and held it in both hands. "I'm sorry again… I know I've ruined everything."

"Hermione – "

She didn't pause to listen to what Ginny said. She waved her wand to lift the wards and apparated from her bedroom, her friends, and her life.

She landed on the small spot she'd seen Pansy land only hours before and wobbled. Her knock was tentative but she only had to wait a few seconds for Malfoy to open the door for her.

"Pansy's right. That spot is too small." She said, trying to make herself smile as she looked up at him. His storm blue eyes studied her face for a moment and she realised she must have looked a wreck.

"It went that well, did it?" He asked after a moment, stepping aside. Hermione lowered her gaze and head as she passed him.

"Ron figured out Harry had led him out on purpose and turned up. There was some yelling… His temper is still what it was a school." She tried to sound airy, unaffected, as she stepped into his kitchen but the waver in her voice gave her away.

"Unsurprising." Malfoy drawled, the door clicking shut gently. "What was it you used to say? Emotional range of a teaspoon?"

"It's… quite the opposite, actually." Hermione cleared her throat, surprised Malfoy had heard her say that even once. His brow lifted slightly and she sighed. "Too many emotions and not enough ways to express them."

"Anger is the easiest to feel, I suppose." Malfoy nodded, matter-of-factly. He tucked his hands neatly into his jean pockets as he watched her. "Are you alright?" His tone was laced with such genuine concern that Hermione almost started crying again. She took a breath and nodded, unable to meet his gaze.

"I might need to take you up on the offer of a week." Her voice wavered and she steeled her shoulders, begging her mind not to cry again.

"I already said that you can stay as long as you need." He nodded. One hand untucked to push some errant hair off of his forehead. "Do the Potters know where you are?"

"No. It's… complicated... but I wouldn't tell them regardless. I already feel guilty enough that they're helping me. If they don't know where I am it means they won't have to lie to him as well."

Malfoy nodded thoughtfully.

"You're thinking about far too many other people for what you're going through right now." He said softly. Hermione smiled, her lips feeling like they were splitting with how dry they were.

"That's what I do, Malfoy."

"Well do us all a favour, Granger, and be a little selfish." His lips tilted in a small smile. "You should be proud that you're not settling for the first time in your life."

"I ruined his life. I've ruined his family's lives. How am I meant to feel proud when I've hurt someone so badly?" Her throat closed over and she felt numb from top to toe. She still hadn't moved from where she'd stopped after she'd entered. The world tilted a little around her and she reached for the counter to steady herself.

"What about your life? What about the life you were unhappy in? Isn't that ruining your life?" He spoke softly, moving past her to fill the kettle with water before setting it on the stove.

"I could have learned to be happy." She said softly.

Malfoy sighed and took the kettle off the stove. He reached for a cabinet above his head and took out two glasses.

"Red or white?" He asked and she blinked.

"What?"

"Red or white, Granger?"

He gestured to a corner of the kitchen by the messy table, one that had wine bottles on the wall and a refrigerator underneath.

"It's midday, Malfoy…" She said with a half laugh, realising what he meant.

"And you look like you could use a drink… soo... red or white? Or I can choose for you?"

Her lips twitched at his rapid-fire response before she answered. "Red."

"Good choice." He nodded, crossing the kitchen in a few steps to select a bottle from the wall. "Do you regret it?" He asked when the bottle was in his hands.

"What?"

"Do you regret deciding that you couldn't go through with it? Do you regret putting yourself first? What did you feel the moment you were alone?" He elaborated, causing Hermione's racing thoughts to pause for a moment. She hadn't really given herself a moment to think about how she was feeling past guilt and shame.

It took her a few moments to identify it, and when she did it made the guilt worse.

"Relief." She whispered. "I felt like my shoulders weren't heavy and I didn't want to fold in on myself anymore." Her ears were ringing now, the kitchen around her still a little off kilter.

"Then you should be proud you did this for you." Malfoy's voice sounded far away. "Be selfish, Granger. Not enough people are."

Her eyes burned as tears spilled over her cheeks and she nodded as if she was listening. She was, a little bit, but her brain was buzzing with anxiety and guilt and the horrific grief of hurting someone she loved.

"Go and take a hot shower, Granger. You'll feel better once you do." Malfoy's gentle voice broke through her thoughts after a few moments. Something cool pushed into her hands and she blinked down at the wine glass. He clinked his own against hers when she didn't move. A laugh bubbled from somewhere, catching her off guard. The whole situation was absurd. Never in a million years did she think she'd be standing in Draco Sodding Malfoy's kitchen, drinking red wine, while her whole life turned to shit.

"Thank you." She murmured, taking a sip. It was rich and full of flavour, expensive, she could tell. She had to stop herself from draining the glass.

"It was very brave, what you did." He said softly, his eyes fixed on a spot that was neither here nor there. "Not many people get out of places that they don't want to be in. They take the cowards way out and stay."

She had a feeling he was talking about his upbringing and all the awful things he'd been made to do. She wanted to tell him that he was a child and that this was different… but instead she nodded. She thanked him and then she disappeared from the bizarre situation before she lost her mind completely.

Sorry about the length between posts. Going through some stuff but let me know what you think... or don't it's entirely up to you. Just do me a favor and tell people about it. Sometimes that's the better option.