It was easy the next day for Hikari to cling to her mask of being a class rep to stop the disgust behind her face. Normally, her face and her mask were one and the same, but the seed of deceit had caused just enough of a separation for her to sit uncomfortably.

To her alarm, Asuka seemed to notice. "What's wrong with you?" She asked in her increasing course tone as of late.

"Huh?"

"You seem tense." Asuka replied, "What's the matter?"

"Oh." Hikari replied, wringing her hands under the table as she struggled to come up with a plausible lie. "U-um, I'm just nervous today. It's about something I have to do after school."

Not technically a lie, Hikari thought.

"Class rep stuff?"

"Yeah, something like that."

The two are in silence for a moment, then Asuka asked, "Is it true that Shinji is failing?"

Hikari sputtered her meal. Recovering, she said, "Asuka, grades are confidential. Who told you about that?'

"He told me himself." Asuka replied, deadpan. Her fork angled down toward her bento as she said, "Geeze, you take your class rep stuff too seriously. Calm down."

As if I could. Hikari thought. She glanced across the room at the trio; Kensuke, Toji her crush, and Shinji: the boy he was using.

She swallowed and stared down at her meal to stop her stomach from churning too much.

When class was over Hikari gathered up her course materials and gradebook. She glanced over at Toji, seeing the strapping jock stare absently into space as he looped his bag over his shoulder. She briefly imagined being up against his chest, a strong arm behind her…

Then she looked at Shinji, who still had his computer open as he was evidently still trying to study. She returned to her packing and tried to stuff down the guilt. Instead, she was here to help Shinji.

With this in mind she waited until the classroom had emptied of everyone else. Toji passed by without remark, though Hikari turned her head and almost called out to him. No… she didn't have the guts for that, yet. She wanted to know if it was safe.

Even Asuka left without remark, disgruntled eyes staring ahead as she walked out the walkway to the door. In a glance, Hikari saw Shinji see Asuka leave and the disappointed look he had. It elicited a pang of sympathy in her heart for him.

But when the class was empty, Hikari brought her things to the desk beside Shinji. "Hello Ikari." She began, pressing herself into the class rep role, "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Shinji answered.

"Good." Hikari said, "First, do you have any questions, or anything you wanted to discuss?"

Shinji hesitated as he tried to think over the days lesson. "Ah, no." He replied.

"Okay." Hikari said. She pulled open her own assigned computer. "We were assigned another essay today. Before we really begin, I want to know your thoughts about it."

"My thoughts?" Shinji replied and looked up at the chalkboard to think. After a moment, he said, "Um… just talk about what happened to Japan because of the second impact."

"Just the facts?"

"I suppose."

"And what kind of resources would you he using?"

"Um…" Shinji hesitated, "Uh… the internet I guess. The class library database?"

Hikari sighed because she knew the class library database had scant knowledge on the matter of cultural impact on Japan from the second impact. It was a curious omission, considering the teachers obsession on the topic, but nevertheless there was little to go on.

"Okay Shinji," she said, "Based on what you told me, I already know you're going to make a bad paper."

"W-wha, really?" Shinji replied.

"Mmhmm."

"How come?"

Hikari smirked. "It's because youre not considering what you want to say with your report. You can repeat the facts, but those facts need to lead to a point. So what would be your point?"

"Um… that it happened? That the culture was impacted?"

"Yes, that's obvious. But how was the culture impacted? Was it a good thing, or a bad thing?"

"W-why would anyone think the second impact was a good thing?!"

Hikari shrugged. "People have opinions, and they back it up with facts to persuade the person who is reading the essay that they're right. Good essays try to change people's minds, or tell a story. So," Hikari said, "What would you like your paper to say?"

Shinji stared at the chalkboard. "Um… what… could… I say?"

Hikari smiled again. "You could talk about how the tsunamis washed away a lot of important cultural sites, and why that loss is a tragedy for all of Japan. You could talk about the paranoia of the Japanese government after the impact and skepticism of the UN and why they shouldn't be trusted." Hikari shrugged, "You can say anything, the point is to make the paper interesting to the reader. What would you want it to say?"

Shinji closed his eyes as he tried to think. After a moment he shook his head. "Sorry, I tried. I really can't think of anything."

"That's okay." Hikari replied, "Not everyone can find out right away. Sometimes you have to work for it. Let's start with a spontaneous topic… what's something that's important to you?"

"What?"

Hikari smiled again. "Something important to you. You know, something you like and value. Or maybe it's something you want to do, or gain?"

Shinji stopped to think about that one. As before no easy answer came to him- it was a blank. He lived his life drifting on the whims of others, doing only the minimum required in order to stay alive. There was no shame in that, was there?

As the moment dragged on Hikari grew a little concerned that Shinji seemed unable to answer this simple question, "Maybe something about your family? Something you wish you could have?"

That snapped Shinji's mind to his father, and the complicated feelings swirling around that man. "Father…" Shinji uttered.

Hikari waited patiently to see if he would elaborate. When he didn't, she prodded, "Are your parents important to you? Is there something you wish they did?"

Shinji stared into space at that question and grew increasingly unsettled as he thought about his father. He wanted to escape his father… hurt him, even. At the same time it wasn't that simple.

"I… I don't think want to think about my father." Shinji uttered.

Hikari looked from his hands to him and connected the dots. "Okay. We don't have to think about your father, but what about parents and families and how they were changed by the second impact?"

That thought hadn't occurred to Shinji. "What?"

Hikari nodded and leaned closer to him. "Clearly it's important enough to you for you to have feelings about the subject. Perhaps that can help you feel motivated." She leaned back, "of course, you don't have to choose this topic, but having an opinion on the matter helps you become more invested in your writing."

Shinji was still reeling over the idea that his father could be affected by anything- even the second impact. He was still confused over his father's motives to summon to this place. Perhaps learning more about what others went through with the second impact would help him learn something.

Though he perceived some danger in picking at this knowledge, his curiosity was getting the better of him. It was the same feeling that kept him piloting the Evangelion.

Hikari blinked at his pause and said, "if this would be too uncomfortable for you to write, then-"

"No." Shinji said as his hands slowly clenched, "i-ill do it. I… I think I want to learn more about this."

"Great!" Hikari replied. She typed the subject matter on the document, then side-eyed Shinji to see him still staring into the desk with his hands clenched. She looked at her own laptop for a moment, then said, "Would it help if I told you what my subject was?"

Shinji turned his head to look at her in answer to her question. She swallowed and said, "I'll be writing about the collapse of the medical industry and healthcare during the second impact. Do you… want to know why?"

She took Shinji's level, oope-eyed stare as consent, then went on, "My mother passed away after my younger sister was born. I was told it was because they didn't have any doctors to help… medical staff was in short supply then."

Shinji shuddered at Hikari's obvious sadness. "I-im sorry…" he said with a squirm.

"Thank you." Hikari uttered quietly. She looked at him and said, "The reason this is my subject is because I want to understand what happened so I can come to terms with it. It will help me get over it if I learn more about it." She smiled and looked at Shinji. "Perhaps that can be the case with you too, Shinji. Maybe reading up on this can help you understand what bothers you so much about your father and help you overcome it."

Shinji looked at the desk and took a breath. Conflicted. He had always fled from sources of pain. Now she was asking him to stare into it… to understand it?

No, it wasn't just Hikari. She let him leave. It was himself, which made it hard to dismiss. After over a decade he was no closer to understanding his father, even after speaking with Ayanami. This was a new idea.

"Remember, I'm here to help you." Hikari added, "And there's no shame in backing out if you're too uncomfortable. We can find another topic in our next session."

"Okay." Shinji uttered, sitting with this possibility. Somehow he couldn't look away from it, as fearful as he was. Something inside him told him this is what he had to do.

Hikari looked at the clock, then said, "We can end today's session early today, Shinji. If this is still what you want to do on Thursday, we can arrange a trip to the library to start gathering sources."

"Okay." Shinji said. They both started to gather their things to leave.

As Shinji headed out the door, Hikari said to him, "Have a nice day, Shinji."

The boy stopped to look back at her. Hikari offered a big class rep smile. Shinji, on one of the only times she saw it, smiled back. "Thanks, you too." He replied and left the classroom.

A moment after Shinji had left Hikari stopped and sighed. She hadn't done anything to further her objective of getting closer to Toji. "Slowly. Start slow." She uttered. She did find herself smiling though, as she thought about how much she must have helped Shinji. For her ill motivations, at least it did him some good.

Shinji later called into Misato's apartment as he arrived, "I'm home!"

"Welcome home!" Misato answered him, and he walked into the kitchen. Misato's jacket rested on the table as the woman was just popping open a beer. It looked like she just came back from work. "Hi Shinji."

"H-hello." Shinji uttered, now assuming she was going to comment on his school situation.

Lowering the can she said, "Back from tutoring?"

Shinji's head lowered as if he were struck. "Yes."

"Is it helping?"

"I… I think so…" Shinji said thoughtfully.

"Good." Misato answered as she closed the refrigerator and grabbed her jacket to go to her room.

As she passed under the door Shinji asked, "Misato?" When she turned, Shinji said, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything."

"Where were you when the second impact happened?" Shinji asked. His gaze dropped to the ground, so he didn't see Misato freeze. Instead he carried on, "It came up in an assignment today and I was just wondering. For the people I know, I mean."

The pause was long, and when Shinji looked up he caught the shocked look on her face for just an instant. His eyes snapped her out of it and her face whirled away. "I was abroad."

Shinji blinked, Misato was rarely this obtuse. "Abroad? Where?"

"Abroad." Misato replied distantly as she continued the path to her room, then closed the door behind her on a confused Shinji.

Shinji stood in the kitchen, thinking over Misato's response to the question. Then he slowly trudged to his room, pausing outside to listen briefly to the music he heard playing in Asuka's room. After that he went inside his room and closed his door.