Harry Potter was four and a half years old, and things had been going relatively well for him. Aunt Petunia gave him more food lately because he told her Brownie's funny stories. Dudley and his friends ignored Harry, but he was okay with that because he had his snake friends. Uncle Vernon also tended to ignore Harry, which was a very good thing, because Bob really wanted to bite him. Bob hated Uncle Vernon because he used the lawnmower. Harry was still too small to use the mower. He was glad he didn't have to use it, because he didn't want Bob to hate him.
Things were usually good for Harry, but people looked at him with funny faces sometimes, and they didn't seem to like all the cool things he can do.
"STOP PUTTING INSECTS IN YOUR POCKETS!"
Harry had forgotten his crickets.
Aunt Petunia was not impressed with Harry's hunting skills.
She told him to deal with them but screamed and ran out of the laundry room when he ate one.
Now he had to do his own laundry, but that was okay because he could keep crickets in his pockets.
Maybe Aunt Petunia thought crickets are lowly food like Charybdis did. Harry wondered if he should try to catch a mouse or a squirrel to show her that he could hunt big things too.
"...Dudley, is your cousin in love with trees or something?"
Piers and the new kid, Nathan, were staring at where Harry was attempting to climb the medium-sized tree in the corner of the playground. Even Dudley could climb that tree. It had very good and strong branches. But Harry wasn't trying to climb it any normal way. Harry was wrapping his arms and legs around the trunk and wriggling.
All of Harry's snake friends could climb with their bodies, so Harry wanted to learn as well.
"Mrs Dursley, I'm afraid I've had to have a talk with Harry about appropriate behaviour at school."
Petunia had to sit through the teacher's incredibly awkward recounting of the boy rubbing up against a tree in full view of the rest of the playground.
She had a talk with Dudley about it.
"Dudley, darling, you've got to keep an eye on Harry to make sure he doesn't do anything strange at school."
Dudley was not happy to have to look out for Harry.
"Oi! Mum says you've got to stop being weird around people. Go sit where nobody can see you if you're going to be freaky!"
That dealt with, Dudley went to play with Piers and Nathan.
Harry started bringing Bob to school after that because he had to practise stealth, and Bob was getting very good at that.
Bringing Bob to school was a very good idea. Bob liked it because he was kept warm under Harry's shirt. Harry liked it because he had his friend with him all day.
Bob wanted to know what humans think about the noble and wonderful adders, so Harry went to the library. Harry was already on good terms with the school librarian because he had read all the books about snakes and other reptiles, and if he read one non-reptile book each week, Miss Librarian would order a new book about snakes. Harry asked Miss Librarian for a book about adders.
When the book arrived, he took it behind the very big tree near the holly bushes and read it to Bob. Bob was most impressed with the photos of beautiful female adders. He was less impressed at learning that the number of adders was decreasing due to pheasants. Bob then decided that he hated pheasants, and Harry did too.
Harry enjoyed the adder book. Learning about snake anatomy was very interesting. He decided that he wanted to learn to smell with his tongue.
Ever since Harry told Charybdis about the Titanoboa, she had been stretching out as long and as straight as she could every morning. She said that this would help her get longer.
Harry was really rather small, and he wanted to grow taller. He began lying in the grass and stretching out with her every morning before he practised tasting things.
Vernon watched the boy wander around with his tongue out, occasionally spitting. At one point, he picked up and licked a snail.
"There's definitely something wrong with that boy", Uncle Vernon murmured, peeking out of the window. At least he wasn't doing it in the front garden...