Harry Potter was six years old, and Aunt Marge had come to visit. Aunt Marge didn't come to stay very often, and the snakes were very wary last time she was around. Aunt Petunia didn't like Marge and really didn't like Ripper. He made an awful mess of the floors, drooling everywhere and tracking in mud… The snakes were very tidy and never slobbered.
For the first couple days of Aunt Marge's visit, things were surprisingly okay. Things came to a head on the third day.
It was an uncommonly warm and muggy day, and the inhabitants of Number Four were in the back garden, attempting to stay cool. Petunia had brought out the inflatable paddling pool and filled it with cool water and ice. Vernon and Marge had already gotten through several beers while dipping their feet in the pool, with Ripper sitting in the middle on top of a clump of ice. Petunia, Dudley, and Harry were avoiding the sweat and drool-filled pool, instead eating ice cream cones while sitting with damp towels on their heads. Bob thought they looked ridiculous, like young snakes with partial sheds stuck on their heads. Harry had warned Bob not to come out around Marge, Charybdis was sequestered away in Harry's room, and Brownie was off on an adventure. Unfortunately, Brownie's adventure had started before Marge arrived, so she was not around when Harry told the others how important it was to stay out of sight.
Harry was in that slow, sluggish mood that summer brings when he heard Marge suddenly shriek. Everyone jumped, with Uncle Vernon toppling backwards out of his chair and Dudley dropping his ice cream. Having inhaled some of her beer, Aunt Marge was choking and sputtering, unable to get a word out, thumping her chest and pointing toward the corner of the garden. Ripper bolted out of the swimming pool to investigate where Marge was pointing. At first, Harry didn't know what was going on, but over Ripper's barking, he heard Brownie's anxious cries.
Panicked, Harry raced to the corner of the garden and found Ripper growling at Brownie, who was hiding in a small flowerpot. Harry grabbed Ripper's collar and tried to try to pull him away but was not strong enough to control the fully-grown bulldog. Digging his heels in while keeping a firm grip on the collar, Harry turned to call for Dudley's help and saw that his cousin was already on his way over. Unfortunately, so was Aunt Marge, followed by Vernon and Petunia. Marge had gotten her voice back and was loudly boasting about how her prized bulldogs were excellent at exterminating vermin. Harry could hear Aunt Petunia talking about how snakes were important for the garden, keeping mice away and so on, with Uncle Vernon nodding along nervously.
Dudley was just about to grab onto Ripper's collar when the dog lurched at the flowerpot. Brownie dodged Ripper's jaws once, twice, then got caught in the stems of the flower.
"NO!" Harry screamed, arms outstretched. Ripper was centimetres away from killing Harry's first friend when a sudden flash of green burst from his hands. Ripper instantly flopped down, his head hitting the flowerpot and flinging Brownie into the air. Dudley reached up and caught Brownie, who was hissing such colourful curses and insults at Ripper that Bob's swears were put to shame. Marge, Vernon, and Petunia had reached the corner of the garden and witnessed it all. After a few seconds of processing, Marge started screaming incoherently and lunging at Harry. Vernon grabbed hold of Marge, who was shouting about how "that delinquent boy killed my dog!". Meanwhile, just out of reach, Harry took a moment to think.
"Herbs!", Harry shouted. Dodging Marge's grabbing hands, he ran over to the herb garden.
"Bob, which herbs did Asclepius use?"
"I'm not sure. Your mythology book only described it as a herb that was placed on the head!"
Harry decided to use them all. He grabbed a handful of dill, parsley, chives, basil, and oregano before racing over to the corner of the garden. Ignoring Marge's cries – "What the bloody hell is he doing to my dog!? I'll call the police! He'll be locked up!" – Harry placed the herbs on top of Ripper's head. Hoping very hard that these were the correct herbs, he waited for a moment. With a jolt, Ripper started breathing again, blinked his eyes slowly, then shook himself off, wandering over to Marge. Everyone froze, staring at the resurrected dog. Vernon's jaw was practically unhinged, his eyes wide and face the same reddish purple as a beet as Marge's. Petunia was literally clutching her pearls, and Dudley's eyebrows practically shot to his hairline.
"Neat…" Harry murmured, breaking the silence.
Sobbing, Marge clung to Ripper, who was keeping his distance from Harry, and started speaking in the obnoxious babyish voice that she only ever used for the dogs. After a few seconds of coddling the dog, she abruptly stood and turned to Vernon.
"I am NEVER visiting this house again. If you know what's good for you, you'll turn that boy out!", Marge said in such a cold and hissy voice that she somehow said a few words in Parseltongue. She then gathered her things, spared one pointed glare for Harry and the snakes, then left.
Harry and Dudley immediately started talking about how cool the snake powers were, with Dudley gesticulating excitedly and waving Brownie about.
"Enough! We must never speak of this", Petunia whispered to the boys.
Harry and Dudley looked at each other and shrugged. "Okay!", Harry chirped, then started talking about it to Bob and Brownie.
"… Muuuuum, can I have another ice cream cone?"
Unbeknownst to Harry, when he placed the handful of herbs on Ripper's head and wished for his resurrection attempt to work, a thrum of power rippled out, silent to all muggles but much like the strike of a gong to all magical beings.
At Mrs Figg's house, every kneazle perked up, ears swivelling toward the direction of Number Four.
At Hogwarts, all of the gently twirling and clicking instruments in the Headmaster's office jerked about as if blown by a strong gust of wind and Fawkes screeched from his perch. Dumbledore, who had been playing dominoes with the portrait of a previous Headmaster, jolted, dropped his wand, and peered at the instruments. He poked the nearest instrument, which happened to measure the chance of the house-elves serving crème brulée at dinner. He was pleasantly surprised, until the instruments all died down after only a moment. Alas, no crème brulée after all.
Elsewhere in the castle, McGonagall felt the rush of power and stopped in her tracks. "Weasleys…" she muttered, then set off to look for whatever prank had caused the disturbance.
The ghosts of the castle stopped and shuddered, all feeling the biting chill of death that they had long since become used to.
Deep in the bowels of Hogwarts, the Basilisk stirred in her sleep.
Unseen, in the Department of Mysteries, the Veil of Death fluttered ever so slightly faster, with the whispers of the dead increasing in volume.
In the forests of Albania, the wraithlike form of Lord Voldemort had his control of the snake he was possessing momentarily ripped from him. He watched in confusion as the snake, along with the small pixies of the forest, all oriented toward the same point.
That night, after the boys were asleep, Petunia and Vernon had an important talk. A lot of words were said, tears were shed, and wine was imbibed. Petunia was of the mind that Harry should continue to think he had "snake powers", while Vernon thought that he should be told it was magic, so that he could branch out and try more useful things. Petunia was dreading having to tell Harry about magic, and thus about his parents. She had been avoiding the topic for years, having only told Harry that they had died and that she did not want to talk about it.
At the end of the night, the only agreements they had come to were that magic was useful but dangerous, and that Harry needed to learn to control his powers.