Stefan had decided to leave, having some business to attend to. Taggert also decided to go, wanting to talk to Jordan about some job opportunities. He wanted to stay in town and keep an eye on the developing situation with the Cassadines, mostly involving his sister, because his daughter was already in the thick of it, unfortunately. This left Gia alone with Nikolas and Ace. Nikolas was sitting on the couch, admiring his new son.
"So, what do you think?" Gia asked, sitting across from him.
"He's beautiful. He's just about the same size Spencer was when he was this age if you can believe it," Nikolas chuckled.
"Really. Emily was Spencer's mother?" Gia asked, curious. She hadn't asked anyone about Spencer's mother, afraid she'd upset someone needlessly.
Nikolas seemed to stiffen at the mention of Emily's name. A look of pure heartbreak and grief crossed Nikolas's features, but it was soon gone as he looked at Ace. "No. Spencer's mother was Courtney Matthews. Sonny's sister. She died right after Spencer was born. I didn't know he was my son at first. Carly and Jax had kept him from me. Even named him John...but Robin told me the truth and I went and got my son back and named him what I wanted to name him. God, being his father was so much easier back then."
"Of course. He was a baby. Parenting gets harder the older they get, or so I've observed," Gia chuckled. "It's too bad that they don't stay this little forever."
"Tell me about it. It's so much easier to protect a baby. But when they start growing...no matter how much you want to keep them in your arms...they keep finding their way out and into the world."
"Is that what happened Nikolas? Did Spencer go out into the world? Is that why things are so messed up between you?"
Nikolas winced and shrugged. "I don't know what happened. When I got Spencer back from Carly and Jax...I had promised him that we'd never be separated again...but that was a promise I couldn't seem to keep...no matter how hard I tried. And I know it's my fault. Ever since…"
Gia placed a hand on Nikolas's arm. Something inside her truly felt for him because she was seeing the man she had fallen in love with. Her dark prince seemed to be right there, opening up to her like a book. "What?"
"Ever since Emily died...when it came to people I love...like Spencer...like Lucky...even Elizabeth...I keep messing up. I keep betraying them...and I can't seem to stop. Right now...Spencer is the one most affected and I want my son back, Gia. I just...don't know how to make it happen. God, he's a grown man. He doesn't even need me anymore."
Gia frowned. She knew for a fact that what Nikolas had just said wasn't true. "Yes, he does. He may not say it, because like you said, he's a grown man now...but he's still so very young Nikolas. Young adults his age, even beyond that, need their fathers. Spencer may not say it, but he does need you."
"He barely looks at me."
"Oh, he does look at you. When you're not looking and what I see is a little boy who wants his daddy, hiding behind a young man who's trying not to need his father, but failing. You Cassadine men...you wear your emotions on your sleeve, but you seem to be blind in reading it. I'm sorry about Emily, by the way. She was a good person."
"She made me good. Maybe that's the problem. She made me good, but now that she's gone, I can't be good anymore. I can't help but be a Cassadine and hurt the people closest to me. I actually have turned into my father!"
"Oh, that's hogwash and you know it, Nikolas! You were a good person before Emily Quartermaine! How do I know? Because I fell in love with that person! It may not have worked out, but still...you were good and kind. You still are! You just made some mistakes and don't know how to correct them! You just need help, is all."
Nikolas chuckled. "So, are you going to help me, Sparky?"
"I really shouldn't. I left because you became a controlling jerk. If that jerk is still around...then no. I won't be helping you."
Nikolas winced, remembering the fights they used to have and how he had really messed it all up with Gia. He had messed up with Emily a few times as well, but she had kept coming back. He knew that Gia didn't have the same patience.
"I'll try not to be that jerk again, ok? I'm sorry about everything that happened between us."
Gia sighed and looked at her hands. "Well...you weren't the only one at fault. And...maybe it just wasn't meant to be back then. Maybe it's not now, either...but I can be your friend...and I can help you try to be that man you used to be. Give you some good advice anyway. It's up to you to follow it."
"Thank you," Nikolas smiled, willing to take her friendship if nothing else.
"My first piece of advice. Talk to Spencer. Repair the rift that exists between you. Don't let him push you away, because that's all bravado for his own protection. Let him see that you're not going anywhere. No matter how much abuse he heaps on you."
"That's good advice."
"Well, I am known for that," Gia giggled.
"Any more advice on how I can get him to see how much I love him?"
"Get him to feel it somehow," Gia took the baby just as Trina and Spencer returned. Both looked rather exhausted from the talk they had out there. "Trina, why don't you come with me and Ace for an early morning walk in the park around the block?"
Trina looked as if she was going to refuse, but Gia gave her an encouraging look that told her that it was best to accept.
"Oh...um. Ok. Let me get the baby a blanket and we'll be on our way," Trina darted up the steps to grab a blanket while Gia strapped Ace into a stroller. Soon the girls were out the door, leaving Nikolas and Spencer alone together.
It was Spencer who spoke first. "So, what do you think of Ace? He's awesome, huh?"
Nikolas chuckled. "Yes, he is. He's very awesome. I'm glad to see you and your brother are getting along together."
"Well, he's a baby. He's pretty easy to get along with," Spencer shrugged.
"You did good, Spencer. Fighting for him, making sure that Esme couldn't use him as a pawn…"
"I love him, father. He's my brother. He needs me. I'm always going to fight for him."
Nikolas smiled, looking at his oldest son. A boy who was indeed spoiled, but that wasn't all he was. He was a grown man now. A married man who took on the responsibility of his brother without being asked. Nikolas couldn't help the pride that welled up inside of him. Spencer had been his greatest accomplishment, but he had no idea how to convey that.
"I am so proud of you, Spencer. I can't convey how much. You've grown up into an impressive young man. Handsome, kind. Responsible...following you around without you knowing...not being able to tell you how much I love and missed you...it was torture."
Spencer frowned, not sure if he could believe his father's words. "Really?"
Nikolas nodded. "Yes, really. I know that I'm a shit father to you. I have broken the promise of never leaving you over and over again and I can't express how sorry I am for that. I should have been here when you needed me most and I have done nothing but fail you, but you've turned out so well despite all of that."
"It...it wasn't all your fault father. It was my fault too. I should have come back home as soon as I found out you were alive instead of staying in France. I'm the one that made it possible for Ryan Chamberlain and his daughter to manipulate me the way they had...it's my fault that your marriage to Ava blew up. I can't say I'm sorry for Ava being out of your life part, but...I'm sorry for my part in it. I just...I was so angry because I was so hurt. There were times when I had wanted you so badly...but you weren't there...and that anger had me listening to Esme's ideas...and bringing her into our lives...like a fool. The only good thing that came out of my return home was meeting Trina and Ace. All I can do is say that I'm so sorry for all of it."
Nikolas hesitated at first, but he reached out and took Spencer's hands in his. It awed him that no longer were they the soft small hands of a little boy, but the strong, sturdy hands of a grown man, whose strength matched his own. He felt another ache, thinking of how much time he had lost. "It wasn't all of your fault, Spencer. It was mine too. If I hadn't been so weak...if my relationship with Ava was stronger than it was...Esme and Ryan's plans wouldn't have succeeded. It was my fault that they had. I'm just sorry that you had been lied to and used in the process. I am happy though. I'm glad that you found true love in Trina."
"Do you like her?" Spencer was curious.
"I like her a lot. She reminds me of...your godmother...Emily," Nikolas found himself looking down again, a now familiar pain filling his chest as he again thought of his lost love. "She was the love of my life. I don't think I'll ever love like that again."
"I'm sorry father…"
"Don't be. I wouldn't trade a moment I had with her. I just wish that you had gotten to know her. That you remembered her. She was such a great mother to you and would have loved you well if she had lived."
Spencer squeezed Nikolas's hand, finally beginning to understand his father because if he ever lost Trina the way that his father had lost Emily, it would at least greatly damage everything good in him. Suddenly, Nikolas looked into his eyes, gripping his hands tightly.
"I understand something now, though. She wasn't the great love of my life. How could she be? When I loved one other person more than I had loved her."
"You did? Who?" Spencer frowned.
Nikolas smiled, letting go of one of Spencer's and running his hands through his son's hair. "You, my son. You are the great love of my life and I am so sorry that I had made you feel otherwise. I promise this to you and your brother. I am going to work on being a better man. I know I can't be perfect, but I can be better. I'll be a good father to you both and I know if I ever end up regressing with Ace...you'll be there to kick me back into line again."
"Damn right I will be," Spencer chuckled, his own tears sliding down his face, it hitting him that he hadn't lost his father after all. That his father did love him. "I...I love you too, father. I had left the room because...when you told Ace about how you used to hold me...I remembered all the times that you did and how safe and loved I felt and I thought...I thought I had ruined it. That I had destroyed your love for me…"
"Oh, Spencer! Never! You can never destroy my love for you! It's an undeniable fact! It's something that can never be destroyed!"
"That's what Trina said."
"Smart woman, that Trina."
Spencer chuckled. "That she is. I'm thankful that I met her...that I didn't ruin things with her."
"So...we're good? We now know where we stand with each other?" Nikolas looked at his son hopefully.
Spencer simply nodded. "Yes. I love you, Father."
"I love you too, and I'm never going to hurt you like I've been doing ever again."
Spencer simply smiled, then his smile faded, remembering his little brother. "So...I suppose that you're wanting to take Ace back to that mansion to live."
Nikolas felt his heart break as he saw the pain in his son's eyes. Spencer had obviously bonded with the baby and letting him go was going to hurt. "You can see him whenever you like. You're always welcome."
Spencer could only nod, the pain he felt was too great to say anything. He couldn't believe how much letting Ace go was hurting. It wasn't like he was being thrown out of the baby's life or anything. "Why is it so easy to bond with babies?"
"Because they're innocent and helpless I suppose. To have someone need you the way a baby does...it does something. I know that the minute I had you in my arms, I didn't want to let you go. Speaking of which...I know that I may be overstepping...and you don't have to say yes...but...the mansion is so big and Uncle Stefan brought it because he wanted the family to live there together...and with how you're not ready to say goodbye to Ace...well...you don't need to. Not really. You and Trina can come with us. There's plenty of room. The place has more wings than Wyndemere. You and Trina can have a wing to yourselves and you'll be close to Ace. You won't have to travel to see him. You'll be right there with him."
Nikolas also wanted to say that he wanted to be where he could see Spencer anytime he wanted as well, but things felt too new to reveal that. He didn't want to scare Spencer off by being too clingy. It was bad enough that he had taken up stalking his son.
"Do you really want me there?" Spencer asked, unsure if moving in with his father and Uncle was such a good idea. Trina would be uncomfortable in such opulence. Would she want to move there? They had just begun to feel at home in the house they were in.
"Yes. I do," Nikolas's answer was simple and direct.
Spencer felt overwhelmed as he saw the clear emotion in his father's eyes. He swallowed and looked away. "I'll have to discuss it with Trina. This is more than a marriage of convenience...it's...it's for real. We love each other."
"I know. I could see it clear as day," Nikolas smiled.
"We're a partnership. We make decisions together."
Nikolas nodded. "Well, I hope that you decide to join us, son. There's a wing set up for you and Trina. I think you'll like it."
"We're back!" Gia announced as she lead the way in with Trina controlling the stroller and the babbling baby.
"So, what did we miss?" Trina asked, her smile bright and happy.
"Father wants us to move into the mansion with him and Uncle Stefan," Spencer got to his feet and went to his wife, kissing her forehead. "What do you think about that?"
Trina blinked, taken aback, not knowing what to think. "We should talk about it."