32. FIRST MOVE

Holly absently perused the ever-growing library that had assorted on and around Tom's desk, leafing through his detailed notes and wondering what the hell she was missing. She wasn't surprised, though still rather impressed, with the huge number of books relating to pregnancy, female health, childcare and parenting since Tom was very good at sharing his newfound knowledge on these topics with her. Which made it all the more confusing why he hadn't said so much as a peep about the other subject that featured heavily in his book selection, much less put it to practical use.

"Holly," Tom greeted her in pleased surprise, emerging from the bathroom with his hair still slightly wet. "How was your Quidditch practise? Ready for the big game?"

"Slytherin had to switch in some new players as well and their Seeker really isn't as good as Draco likes to believe." Holly shrugged vaguely, telling herself not to blush at how Tom's shirt was only half-buttoned leaving a long strip of his toned chest visible to her gaze.

Tom grinned at her. "I'm sure he has nothing on you, in any case. You're magnificent - on and off the Quidditch pitch."

"Then why…" Holly broke off.

"Why what, kitten?" Tom asked softly, his voice losing its jocular edge as he clearly picked up on her mood.

"Why don't you act like it anymore?" Holly whispered after a moment of hesitation. "You used to hug me and pull me close and kiss me, but now you… you just hover! You seem hesitant to even take my hand and when you kiss me it's like… like you're kissing your grandmother! And you barely even looked at the photo Ron had!"

She just stopped herself from stomping her foot in petulance, but it was a near thing and Tom's carefully sympathetic regard did little to improve her mood.

"Holly… you made it very clear that my previous attentions had been unwelcome and made you uncomfortable," he said almost too gently. "And I really didn't think ogling you in a picture that was taken without your consent was in-line with respecting your boundaries."

"But then why did you buy all these books?!" Holly demanded with an angry gesture at Tom's desk. "They're… and you took notes, too!"

"I got these books because I realised that I'm clearly not as well-versed in regards to sexual matters as I liked to believe, that I not only wilfully misread your consent but also grossly overvalued my prowess as a lover. I wanted to understand what went wrong and yes, be prepared when and if you ever wanted to try again. But I need it to be your choice," Tom explained. "I'm waiting for you to make the first move, kitten."

"Oh," Holly mumbled, giving Tom a shy, slightly embarrassed smile when he slowly moved closer. "I didn't know that. I just thought you'd lost interest or something."

"Never," Tom promised earnestly. "Never, kitten. But I'm not going to repeat the same mistakes again and assume that my wants are the same as yours. I moved too fast before, forced you into things for which you weren't ready - you get to set the pace now, Holly, and if I may be so bold, I'm yours to command."

He grinned charmingly at her, bowing low over her hand and pressing a chaste kiss to the back of it, before looking up again with an expectant look. She knew a challenge when she saw one.

"I want you to kiss me like you mean it," she declared, tilting her chin up defiantly. "I want you to touch me like you can't get enough of me. I want you to make me feel good, Tom."

She didn't finish quite as strongly as she would have liked, but Tom didn't seem to mind, a pleased smirk playing around his lips, a new, familiar heat in his eyes. He put one arm around her waist, pulling her ever so slightly against him, but then paused to summon the orb he had enchanted when they had amended the contract. It was glowing a deep, satisfied green, glittering and swirling with Tom's magic.

"You are under no obligation, kitten," he told her. "And if I do something you don't like, if you want me to stop at any point, you need only tell me so. Please promise me that. I'd rather stop after a few kisses and know that you enjoyed yourself than have to wonder if I'm taking advantage of you again."

"I know that and I will," Holly promised, taking the orb from Tom's hand and putting it down on the coffee table. "But I'm not stopping you now, Tom. In fact, I thought I gave you a pretty clear 'go-ahead'."

"You did," Tom admitted, his grin back in full force as he leaned down to seal her lips with his own.

And it wasn't the short, barely-there peck that had become Tom's go-to move these last few weeks. The kiss was still soft and slow, but it was also thorough and intimate and passionate with Tom gently pulling her close, against the heat of his body and the hard, smooth planes of his chest. She gasped in surprise and tried to tell herself that she absolutely did not melt when Tom took the chance to deepen the kiss and caressed his large hands leisurely up and down her sides.

"How's that for a start, kitten?" he murmured in her ear, nipping teasingly at the lobe and burying his fingers in her hair.

"Depends on how you to plan to continue," Holly replied, absently licking over her lips. "And I might need a few more kisses to decide."

"Happy to oblige," Tom assured her, leaning down for another kiss. And another after that.

They ended up in one of the armchairs, somehow, Holly straddling Tom's lap, her robe discarded, Tom's shirt mostly undone and her school uniform rucked up. They could have been much further along, Holly thought with fond exasperation if Tom wasn't so insistent on constantly asking her if she was still comfortable with everything they were doing and prompting her for directions.

"Tom, you were the one who read all those books," she pointed out, leaning back slightly to let him appreciate the full effect of her glare. "So why are you asking me for suggestions? I assure I don't have a secret past as a harlot I could lean on."

"You know I wasn't suggesting that," Tom replied with an amused grin, supporting her with his warm hands at her waist. "And you don't need experience to tell me what you like and what you don't like, if you're good to move forward or if you want to slow down."

"I just… I like this, a lot, kissing and touching and… and I want to do more. But I guess I don't really see how the other stuff can be enjoyable as well. I know it's supposed to feel good for both of us, but it didn't before and I know… I know you weren't trying to hurt me."

Tom sighed, gently cupping her face in his palm. "That's no excuse, Holly, though it is a large part of the reason why I bought these books."

"So what did they tell you, then?" Holly asked, trying for a moment to come up with a more precise question, but feeling herself blush even at her own stumbling thoughts.

Tom smiled at her, lightly rubbing his thumb over her cheek. "Primarily that I'm an idiot and an insensitive prick, but then we already knew that."

"I'm sure they didn't say that and that's not what I asked," Holly replied sternly, tugging gently on Tom's hair.

Tom sighed, but still smiled when she snuggled herself in against his chest, tucking her head under his chin and folding his arms around her. "Well, apart from that, they made me realise that female sexuality is a much more complex subject than I had assumed and that there is not one tried and true method that works for every couple. They offered some ideas and suggestions that I would love to explore with you – but only if that is your wish as well, kitten. Most of all, it's about freedom of choice and communication and I vow to do better by you in both regards.

"On a more practical note, I realise now that you must have been very tense and stressed – understandably so, of course – which I think caused your muscles to tighten, which in turn only added to your discomfort. And you're very petite, which means that I should definitely have taken things a lot slower than I did."

"I'm okay with slow," Holly murmured. "But I'm not okay with glacial."

Tom chuckled, pressing a kiss into her hair and then suddenly getting up with her still safely held in his arms. "How do you feel about moving this to the couch for a bit more freedom of movement, kitten?"

"How about we move to the bed instead?" Holly challenged back, her confidence soaring at the clear thrill of excitement she could feel from Tom, accompanied, once again, by a note of hesitation. "I'm sure, Tom, and I'll tell you if that changes."

Tom grinned at her before hoisting her up a little higher and carrying her to the bedroom where he playfully threw her onto the bed and pounced immediately, stretching out on top of her but without crushing her under his weight

"Such cheek," he murmured, nipping at her bottom lip. "I shall have to take full advantage of that."

"Please do," Holly replied before pulling Tom down for a proper kiss.

Despite Tom's words, they didn't get much farther than kisses that day and most of them were slow and leisurely, exploratory rather than claiming. Holly fell asleep with them, still mostly dressed, but snuggled comfortably into Tom's strong embrace, tucked against his smooth chest.