Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews. I was so touched because of all your reactions to the last chapter! It is fascinating to read your ideas and compare them to what will be happening in the next few chapters.
I had to split the gang's visit to Medford into two chapters. Maybe even three, I am not sure yet how I will edit the next one. For some reason, these chapter keep getting longer and longer. Maybe at some point I will have to break my rule of alternating POV's because under normal circumstances I would have definitely split this one up into two.
Unfortunately, there is not much Shamy in this one, because the group will be split up for part of the gang's visit in Medford, with Sheldon having time with his friends and Amy doing activities with the ladies. There will still be a few Shamy scenes here and there, maybe even an M-rated one in the next chapter, so I hope you won't be disappointed.
She got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down
And when I come home to her when the sun goes down
Takes my troubles all away, take away my grief
Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief
She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love
Balancing Heaven And Earth
Chapter 9 – "Crazy Love"
Amy's POV
The morning after her first fight with Sheldon, Amy woke up naked and alone in her bed.
It confused her for a second and part of her was afraid that, despite their very enjoyable way of making up, Sheldon could still be upset with her for being so snappy towards him the night before.
She put on her robe and went looking for him, first in the bathroom and then in the kitchen, and she was starting to worry, until she heard a sound coming from their office space.
She opened the door and a warmth spread through her chest when she saw Sheldon. He, too, was dressed in his robe and he appeared to be cleaning her desk thoroughly. The room was filled with a scent of citrus fruit and disinfectant.
"There you are.", she said with a chuckle in her voice.
He looked up and his face fell.
"Why are you up already?", he exclaimed. "I was planning on coming back to bed after taking care of this."
She walked up to him and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
"You did not have to get up so early to clean my desk. I could have done that later."
"Well…", he shrugged. "I woke up early and could not fall asleep again, knowing your desk was just a few steps away behind this door, probably covered in our germs. How could I not have thought of this last night?"
He sprayed the desk with another dose of disinfectant and resumed scrubbing it.
"I don't know about you, but I definitely did not have enough blood left in my brain to think about it.", she said, and winked at him when he looked up from his task.
He rolled his eyes. "Well, me neither. Obviously. We need to do better next time."
"Next time…", she said, wiggling her eyebrows seductively. "So, you are planning on rocking my world on my desk again sometime? Because I would find that quite… agreeable."
She stood on her tiptoes to kiss his neck this time which made him groan out loud.
"Amy…", he whined. "I really need to finish cleaning this. But yes, of course. Last night was… remarkable. I already ordered a protective blanket for you to sit on next time. We can store it right there in that drawer. It's machine washable."
"That's my man.", she whispered before kissing his neck again. "Always prepared."
He grasped her hands and looked at her sternly.
"Now brush your teeth, put away your robe and go back to bed. I'll be there in five minutes."
Amy was about to suggest helping him clean instead, but then she understood what Sheldon's intentions were and why he had not gotten dressed before cleaning her desk.
She applauded herself for wanting to sleep naked the night before and she simply could not resist swatting Sheldon's bottom playfully before stepping away from him.
"See you in a bit.", she said, giggling at his surprised face, before going back to the bedroom to wait for him.
That morning, after thoroughly enjoying a few blissful hours of togetherness, Sheldon and Amy had breakfast and then sat down on the couch, where they finally started making plans for their wedding.
It would be a small ceremony that would be taking place in May. Although they both would have liked to get married sooner, it seemed reasonable, since they would not have time for a honeymoon during the schoolyear.
Sheldon suggested eloping now and then having a honeymoon later. But although Amy loved the fact that Sheldon was just as eager to move forward with their plans as she was, she had to admit to dreaming of her wedding day ever since she had been a little girl.
"Alright…", Sheldon conceded and pulled her into his arms. "On the plus side... I think we will enjoy having a few more months just to ourselves before starting a family. Don't you agree?"
Of course, Amy agreed. And she also knew, they still had to figure out her career and their future living situation.
Next on the agenda was their guest list, which would consist of their families and closest friends, both from Pasadena and Medford.
Amy sighed as she reminded herself that she still had to tell her parents, which was one of the reasons why she dreaded going back to California right now.
At last, they decided to ask their friends for help. After all, there were various members of the choir that had gotten married in the past months. Surely, they would have a few helpful addresses for them.
And then of course, their other friends, the ones from Pasadena, would want to be involved as well.
So, just as they had decided the night before, Sheldon made a few phone calls to invite his friends over and after some back and forth, they all managed to take some time off.
And that is how a few weeks later, on a beautiful Friday morning in early November, Sheldon and Amy were standing in their kitchen, cooking breakfast for their friends from Pasadena who would be arriving any minute from the hotel nearby that they had checked into the night before.
Amy side-glanced at Sheldon who was visibly excited at the prospect of having them here for four whole days.
He kept fidgeting around at the stove and part of her was almost surprised there weren't any broken dishes yet.
"Hey.", she said softly and put a hand on his shoulder. "There's no need to be nervous. I am sure, your friends are looking forward to being here together just as much as you are."
"Nervous? Who is nervous? I certainly am not.", he protested just as he threw an egg on the floor instead of into the frying pan.
Amy bit her lip to keep from laughing and got the mop to clean up the mess while raising an eyebrow at Sheldon.
"Alright.", he muttered. "You've got me. Maybe I am a tiny bit nervous."
"You don't have to be.", she told him in a calm voice.
"I know.", he agreed. "But… this is new. My life here is… not something my friends would expect from me."
Amy nodded.
She understood.
What would his friends think when they saw him living in this house?
What would they think tonight when they would come with them to choir practice?
Sheldon surrounded by friends that were just simple, normal people and not scientists like most of them?
Amy couldn't help but wonder if his friends, just like her, would see a difference between Medford-Sheldon and Pasadena-Sheldon and if so, what they would think of it.
She had to admit, she was a little nervous herself.
About sharing this corner of her world with other people who had known Sheldon for longer than she had. Exposing it to their opinions and their judgement.
Amy knew, no matter where they lived, their life would never be like the year before, when Sheldon's friends had not been a part of it. And she did not wish for it either.
But still, she was worried.
Would their presence here in Medford change the way Sheldon saw his life with her? Would it make him miss them even more when they would be gone again?
And – worst of all – would it make him reconsider their living arrangements and pull him away from this little protected world she had come to love?
She was no fool. She knew, at some point, Sheldon would want to move back. But for now, she was hoping to still have at least a few months in this house, and she did not want anything to interfere with that.
Only seconds later, they heard two cars coming up their driveway and Amy did not have any more time to worry.
Even before the doorbell rang, they heard loud voices of four little children who had apparently found the little plastic slide that Amy had bought on her way home from work the day before.
"They're here!", Amy exclaimed and quickly put away the mop.
Sheldon turned off the stove and together, they hurried to the front door where they were met with a chorus of excited greetings and laughter from familiar faces.
There they were. All five of them, holding flowers, wine and chocolates in their hands, exclaiming how excited they were to finally be here.
Amy turned to Sheldon who seemed to be rendered speechless at the sight of his five best friends on the doorstep of his late meemaw's house. She could only imagine the thoughts and memories racing through his mind.
"Welcome to Medford!", Amy said in his stead and stepped aside to make room. "Come in, breakfast is almost ready!"
The children – drawn away from the slide by the promise of food – rushed past Amy and Sheldon and Amy's heart did a little flip at the sound of their laughter filling the usually so quiet house.
Their friends followed slowly, their gazes wandering curiously around the place that was so different from Sheldon's other home in Pasadena.
"Wow, Sheldon, this place is incredible!", Penny finally exclaimed, her eyes widening in amazement. "I never pictured your home here being this cozy."
"Yeah, when you told me about owning a house in Texas, I kind of expected it to be filled with action figurines and other collectibles.", Bernadette added. "This is beautiful. Look at all the flowers and pictures."
Amy smiled softly.
"His collectibles are in our shared office space.", she explained.
"Good for you, not letting your man spread out his juvenile belongings all over the place.", Bernadette snorted, which was answered by Howard with a pained smile.
Amy and Sheldon shared a knowing glance.
When they had come back from Pasadena after the summer, Amy had asked Sheldon, why he did not set up his things in the living room, like he did in Pasadena.
She would not have had a problem with that. Not just because this was Sheldon's house. But because she really wanted him to feel at home here. Just as much as he did in Pasadena.
He had just shrugged and told her, that he enjoyed living in the house as it was. The way his beloved meemaw had left it. He did not have the heart to change it too much.
"We both like the house the way it is.", she answered quickly, sensing that Sheldon did not want his friends to know the sentimental reason behind his actions. "So, we saw no point in changing too much of it."
Sheldon, who had finally found his voice again, proceeded to give the others a tour of the house.
The children weren't interested in that, so Amy quickly provided them with the box of toys, Missy had brought over the night before, which was met with enthusiasm.
She watched for a second, as Halley and Lucas grabbed two toy cars and decided which part of the carpet would serve as their playstreet, while Michael chose to look at one of the picture books.
Yep, she realized. This was the only thing that was really missing around here. A bunch of happy children playing in the living room. For some reason, it made the house feel even more like a home.
Amy was about to turn around and join the others, when she felt a small hand tug at her skirt.
She looked down to see her one-year-old goddaughter Becky standing on her tip toes, extending her small arms, asking to be picked up.
Amy could barely keep her lower lip from trembling as she picked up the baby who cuddled into her chest right away.
It was clear, the girl was overwhelmed with these unfamiliar surroundings and was looking for a safe place, which, to Amy's joy, she seemed to be able to provide.
"Come on, let's go find your mama.", Amy said softly, and the girl looked at her seriously and nodded.
She followed the others into the office where Sheldon was just showing off his whiteboards and all the work he had been doing during the past weeks.
"Amy, thank God!", Penny exclaimed when she saw her. "Let's get out of here and talk about anything other than science."
Sheldon looked at Penny sternly, and it seemed like he was about to lecture her.
"Hey, why don't we all sit down for breakfast.", Amy said quickly before he could do anything like that. "We don't want the food to get cold. Besides, the children must be starving."
Still with Becky on her arm, Amy started up the coffee machine and prepared coffee for everyone while Sheldon brought the food to the table, which was barely big enough for the seven adults and the three older children.
When everyone sat down, Penny offered to take her daughter back to feed her, but the little girl had already settled into sitting on Amy's lap.
"It's alright.", Amy told Penny. "I don't mind cutting up food for her. She can stay with me if she wants to."
"Great!", Penny said. "I can't remember the last time I was able to eat breakfast in peace. Plus…", she winked. "It's about time for you to start practicing all these mum-things."
Amy blushed slightly.
Soon, the others started chiming in and asking when Sheldon and Amy would finally start contributing to the next generation.
She was glad that Sheldon, just like her, did not give any real answers to that. She knew, these people used to share almost every aspect of their lives, but still, she did not feel comfortable, talking to them about something so personal.
Raj was awfully quiet during this exchange of words. Only now did Amy realize he had barely said a word since they all had arrived.
She looked at him curiously, but he was staring down on his plate.
Why in the world did he seem so uncomfortable? Had it only been in her imagination that they had bonded on the evening she had seen his planetarium show?
Amy was slowly starting to feel annoyed at him.
It was one thing if he ignored her in Pasadena. That was his home after all. But if he did not like her for some reason, then why did he have to tag along and visit her and Sheldon here? In her home? Her sanctuary? Where she was surrounded by people who loved her.
Fortunately, the topic was changed soon, and it did not take long for the group to fall into their usual banter.
This was what Amy had been hoping for. The joy and laughter that she had come to enjoy in Pasadena had found its way to Medford.
She side-glanced at her fiancé. Sheldon seemed to be enjoying every moment.
Amy could already feel the weight on her shoulders dissipate into thin air. This was what Sheldon needed. A little piece of Pasadena here in Medford.
Maybe they should be doing this more often.
After the breakfast table was cleared, Sheldon and Leonard went back to Sheldon's white boards to continue the discussion about Sheldon's findings that had started before.
Howard and Raj were persuaded to play a boardgame with Halley, Michael and Lucas.
Amy would have loved to get up too, but Becky had fallen asleep on her lap and she did not have the heart to move the little girl and risk waking her.
And so, while everyone else was busy, Amy found herself thinking about her late friend and how much she would have loved this.
Seeing her house filled with life and laughter.
Seeing her moonpie surrounded by so much love. And seeing her, Amy, too. As part of a social group that liked her, exactly the way she was.
She smiled fondly, as she thought back to a day, a little while in the past, when things had still been very different. For both, her and Sheldon, although of course, she had not known his exact situation back then.
~ About two and a half years earlier ~
"A church choir? Connie, you cannot be serious."
Amy shook her head in disbelief.
During the past six months, Connie had made her do lots of things she never thought she would do. But joining a choir? No. Never. Not in a thousand years.
"Don't worry, honey, I did not say yes.", Connie replied, rolling her eyes slightly. "But Ruth is convinced that we would love it. So I thought I'd ask your opinion first."
"Because that way you can blame it on me when you decline.", Amy realized.
"Aww, it finally happened. You know all my secret moves."
Connie lifted her glass and clinked it against Amy's.
Amy grinned at her friend and took a large gulp of her wine.
This was so nice. Sitting at a local bar, sharing a drink with a good friend.
"It's a shame Missy could not make it yet again.", Amy said regretfully.
She had come to enjoy these girls' nights with Missy and Connie very much.
But Missy had called earlier and was apparently feeling sick. Again.
"Yeah, I am starting to worry about her.", Connie said thoughtfully while waving over the waiter to get another drink. "Although not as much as I am worried about her twin brother."
Amy bit her lip. She had promised herself months ago, she would just ignore the fact that her friend's grandson in California was a little less unknown to her than Connie was aware of.
But that wasn't easy. Connie was talking about him constantly. About his achievements – and boy were they impressive. About his many talents – she had to be exaggerating, right? About his kind, naïve nature and about how worried she sometimes was for her moonpie living so far away in a big city.
And then there were the letters that kept showing up in the mailbox. The envelopes inscribed in such meticulous handwriting. Her heart had started pounding rapidly when she had read the sender's name for the first time.
Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
It was thrilling, tracing the letters with her fingers, imagining the man who had written them. How she wished she had a way to read what was in said letters.
But no. No, she was not interested in anything he had to say to his grandmother. She could not be.
She did not care at all about it.
Still, she just had to ask.
"W… why would you be worrying about him? Has anything happened to him?"
Connie looked up from her drink and Amy couldn't help but feel she looked distressed.
"It's not so much that something has happened to him. But… there have been a few changes in his life recently. And he's not exactly good at dealing with change."
Changes?
What could that be?
A break-up maybe?
No. No, she would not ask. She did not care if that man was currently single. It was none of her business.
But still, she opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, the waiter reappeared at her table to hand Connie another glass with whiskey. But to her surprise, he also replaced her empty wine glass with something that looked like some kind of long drink.
"I'm sorry, you must be mistaken. I did not order anything.", she protested, but the waiter just winked at her.
"It's from the gentleman at the bar. He's sending his regards."
Amy stared at the bar dumbfounded and indeed – there was a man standing there, smiling at her and raising his own glass.
"Wh… what is happening?", she stammered as she waved back hesitantly.
"Oh, don't mind him.", Connie snorted and rolled her eyes. "Trying to buy your attention with a drink instead of coming here to talk to you. He must not have a lot of confidence in his charm if he thinks you need a drink before wanting to flirt with him."
"Y… you think he's hitting on me?", Amy asked wide-eyed.
This was new.
But… wow. Maybe it was the make-up tricks she had learned from Missy. Or the new dress her beautiful friend had helped her choose. Or maybe sitting here in good company made her more attractive to males on the prowl.
Amy did not care. It was finally happening. A man – an actual man, and an attractive one at that – was interested in her. Her!
"Do you think I should go talk to him?", she whispered to Connie.
"Of course not.", Connie exclaimed. "Why would you talk to him? He's not right for you. You don't belong with some random man from a bar. Come on, Amy, let's go home. We can play one of your board games. Or watch one of your beloved documentaries."
Amy hardly even heard what Connie was saying. Because right that moment, the man stepped towards her.
He was so tall and muscular. Dressed like a cowboy from a western movie. Exuding confidence. And he wanted to talk to her. Amy Farrah Fowler.
"Hey. I'm Brian.", he said, flashing his pearly white teeth in a wide smile.
"A… A…", she croaked. "I mean… I'm Amy. Thank you for the drink."
"Hello Amy. It's a pleasure to meet you. I've never seen you here before. Would you and your grandmother mind if I just sat here for a bit."
"Actually, I am not her grandmother.", Connie spoke up. "And we were just leaving to watch a fascinating documentary about… uhm… frogs. What was the title again, Amy?"
"Frogs: Guardians of Aquatic Ecosystems.", Amy told Connie, surprised at her sudden interest in it. "But I thought you did not want to watch it. I'm recording it."
"A documentary. I see.", Brian nodded, ignoring the rest of the exchange between the two women. "I always had a thing for women that are as smart as they are cute."
Cute?
Amy started giggling involuntarily.
Oh, this was embarrassing.
"Well, as I said. We were just about to leave.", Connie said again.
Amy hesitated. Well, maybe she really should be leaving before she would say something stupid.
"That's a shame.", the man said, and it sounded as if he was sincere. "I would love to hear more about how frogs guard aquatic… economic… systems. Maybe you and me could have dinner sometime, Amy."
Amy was about to correct him but then she was distracted by Connie who was starting to wave for the waiter to bring the check.
"S… sure.", Amy croaked and scribbled her phone number on the piece of paper the man had handed her swiftly. "Thank you. It was nice to meet you, Brian."
She had barely finished her sentence, when Connie got up and dragged her out of the bar.
"You're not really thinking of going out with this rude man.", her friend said as soon as they had left the premises.
"Rude?", Amy wondered. "Connie, apart from messing up the title of the documentary, he was the perfect gentleman just now. If anyone was rude then it was us for leaving so suddenly. Why would you not want me to go out with him?"
Connie stopped and looked at Amy incredulously.
"What would you two even have in common? You have seen him just now, haven't you. Do you take him as someone who would be interested in all the science you always talk about to me? Or in hearing you play your beautiful harp music?"
Amy's heart sank.
"So, you're saying you don't think I'm interesting enough to date someone like that? You think we'd go out once and he'd get tired of me?"
Amy had no idea why she felt so sad just now. It wasn't new to her. She had been called boring all her life. But not by Connie.
"No, Amy, I am saying the exact opposite.", Connie told her then and she looked up surprised.
"You think I am too interesting for him? Connie, you cannot be serious. Honestly, it would not surprise me, if he had already forgotten who I am. There's a good chance, he'll never call me anyway."
Connie sighed exasperatedly.
"Oh, Amy. I think you have no idea. You are extraordinary. But he won't recognize it. There is no way that man will ever be able to truly appreciate you. More than that, he probably won't even understand a word you're saying."
"Well, neither do you most of the time.", Amy rebutted. "It has never stopped you from spending time with me. So, give me one good reason why I should not be going out on a date with a man who – as he stated – has a thing for smart women. An attractive man who noticed me in a bar and found me interesting enough to buy me a drink?"
Connie stared at her blankly.
"I…", he sighed. "I guess... unfortunately there is… no reason."
"Good.", Amy breathed out.
"I'm sorry.", Connie finally said, and it seemed she was embarrassed of her actions. "I should not have dragged you away from the bar. You should go out with whoever you want."
Amy studied her friend curiously. Up until now, Connie had always encouraged her to socialize with other people. But just now, she had almost seemed… panicked.
"Connie, be honest. Why does this bother you so much?"
"Oh, Amy…", Connie said softly. "You have to forgive me for feeling protective of you. I'm just worried that this man won't be able to see how wonderful you are. And that he will try to change you instead. I just think, you should be with someone who is… worthy of you."
"Worthy? Of me?"
Amy shook her head. Well, that was definitely new.
"Connie, even if I believe you. It's just dinner. A chance to get to know him. Maybe you're wrong. Maybe he will want to see me for who I am."
It sounded unbelievable to Amy. But she had to try.
After all, hadn't she promised herself just that years ago? To say yes to life? Yes to trying new things? What was the worst that could happen?
"You're right.", Connie admitted. "Of course you're right. I'm sorry, Amy. I won't interfere again."
Even if she found Connie's behavior on this evening irrational and maybe even a little crazy, for some reason it was important to her that her friend was on board with this, so Amy was glad that this issue was resolved now.
Four days later, Amy was sitting on the couch, wearing her prettiest dress, her make-up perfectioned by Missy and her heart doing little jumps in her chest now and then.
"You look very pretty, Amy.", Connie told her, standing in the doorway.
"Thank you, Connie.", Amy said softly as she looked up.
Connie was looking at her strangely. The same pained look on her face like a few days ago in the bar.
"Is everything alright?", she asked her friend.
Connie sighed.
"I don't mean to bother you when you've got a… hot date tonight.", she said.
"No, please bother me.", Amy said firmly. "I could use a distraction right now."
Connie smiled weakly.
"Well… I just talked to my grandson on the phone. He's not doing well. And I hate that I cannot help him."
"Oh.", Amy said and blinked twice.
Why did she always have such a strange feeling in her chest, whenever Connie mentioned her grandson.
"What's going on with him?", she asked quickly.
"Oh, a lot of things.", Connie said thoughtfully. "I think… most of all, he's feeling lonely right now. But instead of reaching out to anyone who could help him, he's throwing himself into his work. The last time I've heard him sound this detached and robotic was shortly after his father's death. I'm afraid he's spiraling. And I cannot think of a single thing to do that could help him. If he continues like that, I might just fly out to California to smack some sense into him."
That was a lot of information at once and Amy's mind was instantly filled with all sorts of possibilities of what could have happened.
Sheldon was feeling lonely? Maybe he really was suffering from a break-up. And maybe his friends were siding with his ex. Maybe because he had cheated with a new young blonde girl like the one she had seen him with that once at the grocery store. Maybe his new mistress was pregnant with his child. Oh, maybe she was married and trying to pretend the baby was her husband's.
Wow. No wonder Connie looked so worried.
Amy startled as she heard a weird noise.
It sounded like a honk. Coming from the driveway.
She got up and looked out the window.
"Oh, that's him!", she exclaimed and straightened her dress.
Connie snorted.
"Some gentleman, honking for you as if you were a juicy hamburger he's ordered from a drive-in."
"Well, he knows I'm living with you, so maybe he wants to avoid you, since you obviously do not like him."
She grabbed her purse.
"Amy, wait!"
Amy turned around at the front door and looked at Connie expectantly.
"Just… don't forget. You are special and you deserve to be treated well. If you don't enjoy spending time with him, just come home. You're not obligated to stay the whole evening."
Amy shook her head amused.
"I will keep it in mind, Connie. Thank you."
~ Back in the present ~
"Wow. So, this is Sheldon's famous meemaw."
Amy snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Penny who had been wandering around in the kitchen area before.
Now, she was standing in front of the wall of pictures, looking curiously at the face of the woman who, sadly, was no longer here.
"I've heard so much about her over the years. I can't believe I never got to meet her."
"She would have loved you.", Amy said quietly, to not wake up the little girl in her arms. "All of you."
"Penny's gaze landed on the picture that was taken of the two of them at the State Fair a long time ago. It had always been Amy's favorite.
"You and she were like… really close.", Penny stated thoughtfully.
"She was my best friend.", Amy confirmed. "I have no idea where I would be without her."
Penny refilled her coffee and sat down again.
"I am sorry for your loss.", she said sincerely. "It must be hard, living here in her house and being reminded of her every day. For both of you."
Amy swallowed dryly.
"Sometimes, yeah.", she admitted. "But most of the time, it's actually comforting. Sheldon and I often talk about the conversations each of us had with her in this very room. Losing her still hurts, especially him, considering how close they were all his life. But we both like remembering all the good she has brought into our lives."
Bernadette and Penny exchanged glances and not for the first time, Amy felt, she was missing some kind of insider information here.
"So, I've heard, you two have finally picked a date for the wedding.", Bernadette said, swiftly changing the subject.
"We have.", Amy said and smiled as she thought about it. "We'll be getting married in May. Here in Medford. Maybe, if you two are up for it, we could meet up with Missy later to start…"
"In May?", they heard a loud voice exclaim. They all turned their heads.
A few seconds later, Raj had emerged from the living room and was standing in the doorway staring at her wide-eyed.
"And you're only starting to plan it now? Are you out of your mind? Have you even booked a venue yet? Or gotten fitted for a dress? Do you know, how long it takes to get professional invitations delivered? What about the food? Or the wedding cake? The band?"
Amy felt the blood drain from her face. She hadn't started to think about any of this.
Was half a year really such a short time to plan a wedding?
"I… I…", she stuttered, desperately trying to save face. "Well, we don't need a band. We have the choir."
"But what about everything else?", Raj asked incredulously. "Unless you're planning to elope or have some cheap courthouse wedding of course."
Amy's eyes widened.
She definitely did not want that.
"But… it cannot be that bad, right? I mean… it's still so many months away."
She looked to the other women for confirmation. Raj was just crazy, right? He was trying to mess with her head, because for some reason, he did not like her.
"Don't look at me, sweetie. I got married in Vegas and then just had a small ceremony outside with friends and family.", Penny said apologetically. "It was really nice."
"Yeah, and Howie and I got married on the roof of Sheldon's apartment. I already had the dress at that point and the rest was planned in a day. It was beautiful though.", Bernadette added.
"You know why it was beautiful?", Raj interjected. "Because I planned it. Just like I planned Penny's ceremony. All any of you had to do was show up and say yes. No wonder you have no idea how much work it takes to have a beautiful wedding."
"So…", Amy said, feeling small. "What do I do now? I don't want to postpone the wedding."
Raj sat down at the table and for the first time in weeks, he actually looked at her when he spoke.
"Let's start from the beginning. Have you really done nothing yet? No ideas? No vision on how you want your wedding to be? And you're having it in May?"
Amy shrugged.
"Well… Missy and I have looked up a few venues online. And my friend Jared has already given me his caterer's contact information. But… that's pretty much it. I haven't really thought about my dress yet."
"Amy…", Raj shook his head. "May is the wedding month. You need to hurry up or everything will already be overbooked. And a wedding dress takes months to be delivered and adjusted."
In the meantime, Penny had gotten out her phone.
"Hey look, there's a bridal shop in Houston with an online booking system. I'm booking in an appointment for us in the afternoon. If you call Missy, we can look at bridesmaids' dresses too."
"That sounds like fun!", Bernadette agreed.
"What sounds like fun?"
Amy turned around and looked at Sheldon who had just entered the kitchen.
For a few moments, his eyes seemed to be glued to the one-year-old who was still sleeping soundly in Amy's lap before he looked at her waiting for an answer.
"Uhm…", Amy croaked. "We are going to Houston in the afternoon… to look for… my wedding dress."
His eyes softened and Amy's heart started beating rapidly.
"Your wedding dress…", he mumbled. "For our wedding."
A wide smile spread on his face and Amy felt the corners of her own mouth being lifted involuntarily.
If the room weren't filled with their friends, she would jump into his arms and kiss him senseless right now.
Well, she would just have to do that later.
"Amy, stop undressing Sheldon with your eyes and focus.", Bernadette reprimanded her. "Call Missy and get her over here asap. Sheldon, we will need your opinion on the venues the two of them have found so far and Raj, write down a list of everything there is still to do. We can go over it in the car on our way to Houston later. Howard, Leonard, Sheldon, you'll be watching the children this afternoon."
Her voice did not allow any protest, although Raj did try.
"You want me to come with you?", he asked. "But… I obviously don't need a dress. And… and I was hoping to spend some time with the guys this weekend. Going shopping for dresses is a girl thing. And I am… no… girl. I'm… a man. A manly… man."
Suddenly, he was stuttering and avoiding her gaze again.
Amy sighed inwardly. If only she could figure out what his problem was.
"You don't have to go if you don't want to. Besides, I was going to ask Mary to join us too. I'm sure we will be fine.", she said, but Penny shushed her right away.
"Raj are you out of your mind? You were at so many girls' nights in the past. You love everything that has to do with weddings and romance. And I am pretty sure out of all the people present right now, there is no one who is better at picking out the right dress for our girl here."
"Yeah. You're going.", Bernadette said, even more strict than before, and this time, Raj didn't dare to protest again.
"Alright.", he sighed. "But I reserve the right to complain every step on the way."
And so, after an early lunch, Amy found herself in her car with Bernadette and Penny, while Raj opted to drive with Missy and Mary.
"It's nice of you to invite your future mother-in-law.", Bernadette said, and Penny nodded.
"I mean. When it comes to mothers-in-law, you hit the jackpot, Amy. Mary is such a sweetheart."
Amy chuckled.
Although she would never tell this to the other ladies, there had been a time when she would definitely not have invited Mary.
But luckily, they had grown past that unpleasant time and Amy was thrilled to share this moment with her, especially since she was not able to share it with her own mother.
The rest of the car-ride passed quickly, as Amy was listening to Penny telling stories of Mary's past visits to Pasadena.
They arrived at the little bridal shop half an hour later.
After checking in at the counter, Amy stepped into the dressing room and blinked. Her heart pounded in her chest as she took in her surroundings.
It was so charming.
The walls, adorned with a soft, muted wallpaper featuring a delicate pattern, contrasted by the dark wooden floor. It all gave the room an atmosphere that was the perfect balance between comfort and sophistication.
At the center of the room, there was a spacious dressing area with a full-length mirror that was framed by an ornate, silver border.
Amy looked at the mirror and smiled as she saw her friends taking a seat on the cushioned bench a few steps behind her.
She had not considered this before, but today, she would be the center of attention. Dressed up like a princess to be admired by her friends.
She let her eyes wander across the room and her eyes landed on a sleek, floor-to-ceiling rack filled with a stunning array of wedding gowns.
A small table next to the rack displayed an assortment of delicate accessories. Her eyes widened as she took in the veils and shoes and the sparkling jewelry.
"Well, there's the beautiful bride-to-be.", a voice snapped Amy out of her stupor. It was the employee who had ushered her to the room a few minutes before. Amy saw, she had brought in a tray with fancy looking snacks. "Before we start trying on dresses, would any of you care for a glass of champagne?"
Amy hadn't heard much after the word "bride".
It was funny in a way, because up until this moment, she had spent a lot of time dreaming about her wedding with Sheldon and even more about her life as his wife.
But this was the first time, she thought of herself as a bride.
"I'm going to be an actual bride.", she croaked, after the woman had left the room to get the promised champagne.
"Duh!", Penny exclaimed laughing, but not in a mocking way. "Now stop swooning and pick a dress to try on."
And Amy did just that.
The first dress she tried on already seemed to be too good to be true. Amy couldn't believe how beautiful she looked in the mirror. Although the dress was sleeveless and did show a bit more skin than she had planned for, Amy admired how it hugged her curves.
"Is it possible that the first dress you try on is in fact the dress?", she croaked as she stared at herself.
"Are you crazy?", Penny exclaimed. "You cannot just buy the first dress you try on. It's like marrying the first man you have sex with."
Amy felt herself blush slightly and she shared a glance with Missy who rolled her eyes at that comment before winking at her.
She grinned to herself. Although she was not ashamed of her inexperience – after all Sheldon had been worth the wait – she did not feel like sharing this little secret with anyone but Missy.
"Yeah. That's unthinkable.", she deadpanned and winked back at her maid of honor.
She turned around to choose another dress, but when she looked back at her entourage, she could not help but think that Mary was looking at her a little strangely.
Amy felt herself blush even further. Had her future mother-in-law by any chance seen the glances between Missy and her?
Well, it did not matter. It was not as if this was some big secret.
Amy loved every moment of the afternoon, as she kept trying on dress after dress, admiring herself in the mirror, accompanied by the giggling and chanting of her friends.
She put on every dress the girls suggested her to try. And she had to admit, even to herself, she did look amazing in all these dresses.
"That's the one!", she finally heard Raj exclaim as she stepped out of the cabin in yet another dress.
It was the first thing she had heard of him the whole afternoon.
"Really?", she asked surprised. "That one?"
She checked herself in the mirror.
If she could have chosen just one word to describe the dress, it would have been 'dramatic'.
The bodice was very tight around her waist. The sleeves were extremely short and while her front was covered up nicely, there was almost no fabric covering her back. It looked… definitely more seductive than she would have liked.
There were at least ten thousand pearls woven into the fabric. They were sparkling in the light and Amy couldn't help but feel a little bit like a Christmas tree.
Added to the heaviness of the dress, there was a long train that posed a bit of a practical challenge to her. How would she ever walk or dance in this dress?
But Raj had gotten up and she could hear the excitement in his voice as he spoke.
"Yes. That one. Amy, you look… perfect. Like a movie star. Just imagine walking down the aisle in this dress. All eyes will be on you. You're going to be the perfect bride."
Amy furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at the mirror again.
That's what the others had meant when they said how excited Raj always got with all this wedding stuff.
He was staring at her with an intensity that made her feel slightly uncomfortable. And with the way he was praising the dress, she had a hard time telling him her own opinion of it. Which was… slightly different.
Luckily for her, the others did not seem to have the same problem.
"No, Raj. That's definitely not it.", Mary said. She had been quiet before, but now she got up as she inspected the dress.
"The most important thing about the dress is that the bride should feel comfortable in it. And Amy definitely does not look comfortable at all. I'm sorry, Amy, I don't mean to overstep. But this dress… it's just not… you."
Amy smiled gratefully at the older woman.
"That's exactly what I was thinking.", she said softly.
A little unsure on how to proceed, Amy let her eyes wander along the rack of wedding dresses.
"Will you help me find a more fitting dress?", she asked.
"Really?", Mary asked softly. "But this is your big day. I'm not here to impose my opinion on you. Amy, it already means a lot to me that you are willing to share this moment with me. Considering… you know."
"Please, Mary.", Amy insisted. "Your opinion means a lot to me."
Mary's eyes seemed to fill with tears before she turned to the wedding dresses and looked through them.
After some consideration, she got one from the rack and offered it to Amy.
At first sight, there seemed to be nothing special about it. Yet, as Amy looked at it, it was like the fabric spoke to her. How could she not have noticed this dress before?
She held it up to examine its details.
"Wow…", she whispered.
She barely noticed Raj walking back to his seat.
"I'm going to try this on.", she murmured, before she went behind the curtain to change again.
As soon as she slipped into the dress, she felt its smooth fabric caress her skin. It seemed to be embracing her figure. There was a bit of a V-neckline, but it did not reveal very much of her skin.
Her arms were covered by sheer, three-quarter length sleeves with little pearls sewn into it.
A slender satin belt accentuated her curves without making the dress too tight and she absolutely loved the flowing skirt that was skimming the floor as she moved.
There were no intricate embellishments, but there were none needed either. The fabric seemed to shine in itself.
Amy stared at herself in the mirror, captivated by the dress's understated beauty. This was not just any dress. It was her dress.
"Uhm… guys… I think this is it.", she said proudly as she came out from behind the curtain.
She couldn't quite place the look on her friends' faces.
"It's beautiful, Amy.", Missy said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "You are beautiful. I agree, this is the perfect dress for you."
Mary nodded in agreement. She seemed to be unable to utter even a single word.
Amy smiled softly at her future sister-in-law.
"I don't know.", Bernadette said and scrunched up her nose. "I mean, it looks nice. But…"
Amy waited for her to continue. "But… what?"
"But…", Penny helped her friend. "The others before that were just a bit more… exciting. This one… is not."
"I disagree.", Mary said firmly. "I liked all the dresses except the one before this. But this one is who Amy is. Modest, yet feminine. Beautiful in a more subtle way. Classy and elegant."
Amy could feel her eyes fill with tears.
This was, why she wanted Sheldon's family to be involved. After the past few years, they just understood who she wanted to be. And it moved her even more, that it was Mary who saw her that way.
"Alright, I guess it's two against two.", Penny exclaimed. "Now Raj, help us out. You as a wedding expert. Which dress should Amy pick? Except the ridiculous one from before of course."
"I…", Raj stuttered. It seemed he had to force himself to look at Amy. "I don't know. They are all… nice."
"Oh, come on, Raj.", Bernadette said, rolling her eyes. "Picture yourself standing at the end of the aisle watching Amy walk towards you. Which dress should she wear? What dress would you want to rip off her body at the end of her night? Be helpful for once."
Raj's eyes widened almost comically. Amy rolled her eyes. Maybe they should have declined the champagne. She really did not want to hear comments like these in front of Sheldon's family.
"I am not the one getting married.", Raj protested. "And I probably never will. So why would I care, which dress Sheldon is going to rip off his bride's body?"
With that, he got up and walked out of the dressing room.
Amy sighed. Really, why did he even come if he found her wedding to Sheldon this uninteresting.
"Well, I am the bride, so it's not really two against two.", she said firmly. "This is my dress. My decision is final."
It did not take long to find bridesmaids dresses, as Penny, Bernadette and Missy seemed to have similar taste in dresses and Amy wanted them to have something they liked.
Amy was glad that Bernadette and Penny did not take her rejection of ideas for her dress to heart and the ride home was just as pleasant as the one before and once they were back in Medford, it was already time to go to choir practice.
Mary offered to watch a movie with all the children and so, Amy, Sheldon and Missy took the familiar walk together with Sheldon's friends who had been invited to listen in.
Amy tried looking at Sheldon through his friends' eyes, as she stood with the choir and watched him conduct, as so often before.
She had always loved how he looked like when he did this. Not unlike when he was standing in front of his whiteboard, he seemed confident and very sure of himself. But there was more to it.
After a year of doing this, he was conducting the choir effortlessly. The man who struggled with social situations anywhere he went, had found the exact right voice to talk to the members of the choir who listened to every word he had to say.
He corrected them when needed, encouraged them when parts of a song were harder than they were used to, and everyone could see how much he cared about every single person in the room.
After the first song, his friends got up from their seats and joined the little make-shift stage.
Amy quickly went to retrieve a few spare copies of the song they were singing next, and although not all of his friends showed the same talent, Sheldon grinned widely as he kept conducting.
She felt it too. The joy of seeing their two worlds blend together so effortlessly.
Afterwards they sat together for a while, as they so often did.
The members of the choir welcomed their friends with open arms and soon the room filled with laughter and chatter.
Jared and Penny talked about how she had tried to become an actress, while Leonard and Billy Sparks compared notes on having a neighbor/roommate like Sheldon. Howard and Bernadette showed pictures of their children to Ruth and Daniel who in turn showed them pictures of their granddaughter's new baby.
Amy felt Sheldon grasp her hand underneath the table as they watched.
What a perfect end to a perfect day.
Missy's POV:
Missy had to admit, even though she had enjoyed this evening with the choir as always, she was a little bit disappointed because no one was in the mood to go out afterwards.
This day had been so nice.
Planning her best friend's wedding, looking at dresses, hanging out with women her age.
For once, she finally felt like a young woman again and not just like a failed divorcee and single mother.
And for once, she could take her mind off her worries about her son who had kept his promise not to have his teacher call her to pick him up from school that often, but who seemed quieter and sadder with every day that passed.
Missy fixed herself a glass of wine and sat down with her phone to look through the pictures she had taken of Amy today.
A warm feeling spread out in her chest.
She had tried to figure out, why Amy had looked so stunning in each and every dress she had put on.
It was not that Amy wasn't pretty in her own way, and she knew, to Sheldon, she was always the most beautiful woman in the room, that much was very obvious.
But today, she too, had not been able to keep her eyes off the shorter woman.
There was something about her… was it the fancy dresses? The fact that they were a little tighter and more revealing than what she usually wore?
But no, that was not it. She looked as if she was glowing… from the inside.
And then, Missy realized what it was.
It was her eyes. The look of pure joy and happiness at the prospect of marrying the love of her life.
A look she had seen before, in her brother's eyes, when the two of them had announced their engagement.
Missy had to wipe away a tear from her face.
Never in a million years would she have expected her brother to find a woman who loved him like that. And even though she couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness because odds were, no man would ever look at her the way Sheldon and Amy looked at each other, she was thrilled for her brother to find this kind of love and happiness.
She kept scrolling through the pictures, until she noticed something odd.
The way the pictures were taken, with Amy standing next to a mirror, she could see the faces of the rest of the group.
Bernadette and Penny drinking champagne and cheering at the different dresses.
Her mother smiling fondly at her future daughter-in-law.
Sometimes wiping away tears of joy from her face.
And… Raj.
He had a similar expression in every picture, and he did not really look happy.
At least not as happy as the other girls had said he would be, if they would take him with them.
First, she thought, he looked bored.
But no, that was not it.
He looked… melancholic. Almost as if he was in pain.
Like the others, he was looking straight at Amy but… there was something in his gaze. Longing… and… sadness? And… heartbreak.
But why?
In this moment, Missy wished she would possess Sheldon's eidetic memory.
She tried to replay the evening in her mind.
Raj had been so quiet all through the day. The man who once had tried to flirt with her by bragging about the Kamasutra and Indian pajamas.
He had hardly even acknowledged her presence. Not even when they were driving to and from Houston together. Coming to think of it, this car ride had almost been uncomfortably silent.
And apart from that strange dress, he hadn't even made one suggestion about the wedding, even though Penny had told them before, how much he loved planning things like that.
Had he even made eye contact with anyone during the afternoon? Why did it seem as if he was hiding something?
It was almost as if he…
No. But… he was one of Sheldon's best friends. It couldn't be, could it?
Missy put away her phone, trying to fight off the headache that she felt forming.
There had to be a different explanation for all of this.
Maybe he was heartbroken because he was not the one getting married.
Maybe he had been so quiet because he did not know what to say to her, after hearing about what happened with Robbie.
Maybe he was just tired after travelling the day before, and that's why he was off.
But somehow, Missy had a feeling in her gut, that while all these reasons might be true, her first feeling was right as well.
Raj had feelings for Amy.
How serious was it? Just a crush? Or maybe more?
And – Missy's stomach made a flip – were those feelings one-sided or mutual?
A movement across the street caught her attention.
Sheldon and Amy were coming home from one of their walks.
Their arms were linked, as usual, and they seemed to be having a riveting conversation. Probably about something, she would never understand, just like always.
Missy felt stupid. How could she ever think that Amy could have eyes for any other man than her brother. There was nothing to worry about in that area.
The couple sat down at the front porch, where they sat so often.
Amy leaned against Sheldon, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
They both looked so relaxed and the way they smiled at each other as they kept talking… it was such a tender scene, especially once Sheldon lifted Amy's head from his shoulder and kissed her.
And then, Amy embraced his shoulders and kissed him back and Missy had to look away, overwhelmed with emotion.
It had not been easy, getting used to seeing Sheldon kissing a woman willingly, but with Amy and him, everything just seemed to fit.
Over the past year, she had gotten to witness his brother become the best possible version of himself without ever losing who he truly was.
And something similar had happened to Amy. Granted, she had obviously not known Amy as long as she had known Sheldon, but long enough to see her evolve into the person she was now.
She had been so awkward when she had moved to Medford. Then, slowly, with meemaw's help, she had become more sociable, and Missy had begun viewing her as a friend.
But it was only after she had met Sheldon, that Missy had seen her truly happy.
Those two people brought out the best in each other. They belonged together, anyone could see that.
She watched, as Sheldon got up and grabbed Amy's hand, before the two of them walked into their home together.
Anger and protectiveness welled up in her chest.
No, she would not just stand by and watch, if one of Sheldon's friends was trying to get between the happy couple.
She was Missy Cooper. Twin sister. Best friend. Maid of honor.
And she would not let anything, or anyone ruin this.