Though in bed had to be the most painful. He slept with his back to him, curled up on his side, and tucked away from Shouta. He was upset, angry and he understood every bit of the blonde's emotions. He gave him the space he needed but he missed the blonde. He missed being run up too with those bright eyes, an equally bright and chipper smile on his lips, with another stupid idea for them to try whether it was sexual or casual.
He knew sex wasn't an answer, wasn't the solution, and he tried everything long before he allowed it to become his final option. He tried talking, he tried bargaining, he tried cleaning the house long before the blonde would wake, taking the trash out the day before it needed to be, and making sure to feed the cats on time so he wouldn't have too. He trained Hitoshi, he took care of Eri every single hour of the day, and he made each meal for the four of them not allowing the blonde to do so.
He had done everything he possibly could to make it up to Hizashi and even going so far as to say he never ever had to touch him like that again. However, the problem was that Hizashi believed Shouta had no self-control. That the kinks lately were getting to him, were making him fuzzy and uncertain, something even Shouta couldn't argue against. So, they took a two-week break. From the sex, from each other, and it hurt worse than anything.
Honestly, he had thought he would have loved the bruises on his skin from the blonde's tight hold, faint as they were, and he thought he'd even be angry at the hickey's the man left that were ruthlessly questioned by his class, but he didn't. He felt disgusted, so overwhelmingly guilty when he had seen them that he couldn't bring even a single inch of himself to like the sight. He was honestly relieved when the bruises faded away, but it didn't solve anything.
The blonde still looked at him with guilt of his own, worry and concern before he would look away. That's where it led to now, with Shouta sitting on the edge of their bed staring down at the list and a hand rubbing at his mouth and cheeks idly while staring down at the paper. He knew nothing big, nothing crazy, but if this was actually his last chance to possibly help the blonde let go and begin to overcome his guilt and worry, he'd do it.
The anger he had brewing in him no doubt, then he'd do it. If he could help make things up with his husband, he'd do it in a heartbeat. He needed him and he couldn't take much more of this silent, cold treatment they were giving to each other. He couldn't. Hizashi was an amazing grudge holder, his longest record spanned years, and he didn't want this to be like that. He himself could hold a grudge just as well as his husband but again this wasn't the type of thing he wanted to be held against each other.
Though he deserved it; every bit of it. He deserved every single last angry, perhaps even hateful thought from his husband, and he deserved to be screamed at, to be forced to listen to what his husband had to say. He deserved it. Then his eyes flickered to a word, a single word, on the page underneath a more controversial kink that had him flinching, but this little word was what had him blinking as he read it over.
Degradation? He knew enough about that to know it was something people got off on, that some people liked it, and he never thought he'd be the type as he was normally the type to accept and give out praise happily. Even Hizashi gave his praises but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it was quite fun to get as vulgar as they dared with one another, but did it ever border on degradation?
He wasn't quite sure, but he knew it could possibly be the key. It could be the thing that helped his husband let out his turmoil, his undistinguishable emotions and his thoughts that he had pent up for the last two weeks. While he didn't need to hear them, he definitely knew that he could guess just what the blonde wanted to say to him. After all, he was stupid, and he had fucked up with the choking; while Hizashi had caught the taps it was a second too late for it to register as he was in the midst of an orgasm of his own.
It had led to him releasing Shouta as fast as he could resulting in that rush of air, he remembered but it didn't matter. He fucked up and he needed to fix it. They couldn't go on with this ignoring each other, ignoring the situation, like they were children. He took a breath folding the paper away tucking it into the pillowcase then swallowing as he dropped his hand from his mouth, from his cheeks, and scratched his jaw as he stared down at his lap.
He could do this. He could handle hearing a few bitter words, couldn't he? Sex wasn't an answer, it wasn't the way to solve situations, but he wanted it to be the foot in the door to them talking about it. Hizashi always shut him down immediately whenever he brought it up, tried to hint at it, and he did it so viciously that he obeyed. He listened to that hissing tone, the sharp way he spit the words out like they were daggers that he could pierce Shouta with, and he would back away as he dropped the topic of it.
Standing up, he walked around the bed to scoop up Simba from the bottom of the bed making him chirp, tossing the cat out into the hallway where he scuttled away quickly and turned back to the bed letting out a breath. Cappella. She was just as angry at him lately, it seemed. Almost as if she was in tune with Hizashi, refusing any pets or treats if it came from him, and she even growled at him every once in a while, like she was spitting her own insults at him.
He approached the blue-eyed calico, watching the eyes slit into a dangerous look and her tail twitched as her ears flicked backwards for just a second all while remaining curled up. He reached out hearing a low growl leave the cat, but he scooped her up carefully then turned walking quickly as that low growl rose to a louder one that bordered on a yowl as he tossed the cat into the hallway gently.
She turned, hissing at him while he shut the doors, letting out breath as he then approached the bed. How did you prepare for degradation? It was spoken but it was also actions, right? How did a person possibly get ready for that? He jumped when the bathroom door swung open, swallowing down a nervous little noise from leaving him, when the blonde walked out in his pajama's, his hair tugged back into a low ponytail. Now or never. Time to find out.
He raised his hands waving them until the blonde looked up with a defeated look to him. Like he was already done with the conversation before it had begun but he would humor the black-haired man. He flexed his fingers and curled them a few times before he then raised them up to sign at his husband. Zashi, can we talk for a minute?
The blonde placed his hearing aids on the table, sighing out as he raised his free hand up to slide his fingers under his glasses and rub at his eyes fiercely for a moment before dropping it. He looked irritated, annoyed that he was even participating in the conversation, and Shouta hated it. He hated the look and hated the thought that his husband didn't even want to talk to him. What do you want to talk about? Hasn't enough been said?
Zashi, listen! I just need a few minutes of your time and I just want you to listen to me.
What is there left to say? We should never have done it. It was a bad idea from the start and something we shouldn't have put on the list or done when we didn't know as much about it as we should have. We fucked up. You nearly fucking passed out and it took you thirty minutes just to catch your breath just to speak! It was a huge mistake.
He took a breath, let it out slowly, fighting the pang in his chest. Guilt. It shot through him more viciously than any bullet could. You can say it, Zashi.
Say what?
That it was me that fucked up. It wasn't your idea, it was mine, and I fucked up bad. I thought I knew what I was doing because I watched videos, read the articles, and got a stupid book about it but I overestimated myself and we weren't ready for it. We needed more time. We didn't know enough about it to really dive in like that and I let myself nearly pass out twice in a row on you. I should have smacked you at any time while we were doing it whether it was with the blowjob or during the actual sex but I didn't do it. And when I DID do it it was too weak. I shouldn't have let you do that no matter what I said because my lungs were weak from before and yet I still begged you to do it. There's not one bit of it that was your fault.
It's my fault as much as it is yours! I was there, Sho! I could have said no! I SHOULD have said no!
The blonde took a shuddering breath then as he shook his hands out, closing his eyes and he hated that even across the bed he could see tears glimmering in his eyes. He bit his lip then as he fought to keep the guilt, the absolute shame from running rampant through him when he watched the blonde's eyes reopen and his hands raise up again. There's nothing else to say, Shouta. It's over, it's done with, and no we know that until we really know what we're doing or educate ourselves better then we're never doing it again. Not in the foreseeable future at least. So let's drop it, okay? It's like beating a dead horse. There's no fucking use to do it. Let's just go to bed.
Wait! Wait, Zashi, please?
He watched the blonde's hands lower to the blankets as if to pull them back, looking up at him with a look that was anything BUT tired and he knew that the blonde would lay there with his back to him again. Not speaking, not touching. So close to him but still so far away. He knew he wouldn't -couldn't- last another night of this. So, his next breath made his lungs expand until they tight, fit to burst, and he let it out as he flexed his fingers again before signing at his husband.
Let's do a kink.
A look of anger flashed on the blonde's face for a brief moment, tightening with the emotion that flared at him from his eyes, and then it was gone as the blonde looked away with a deep breath as well before turning back to him. His hands trembled but he could still make out what the blonde signed. Why? Why now? Why tonight?
Because tonight you can say whatever you want to me. You don't have to put in your hearing aids, you don't have to hear my voice if you don't want too, and you can call me whatever you want too. I think that after everything that I deserve some degradation, don't you? I want you to get it out of your system but at the same time if you don't want to hear yourself saying it then you don't have too because I know it'll bother you. So, tonight, while we have sex you can be as selfish or ruthless as you want to be. As cruel as you need to be.
He could see the anger drain away just as quickly as it had appeared, the blonde's jaw dropping with a look of surprise on his face; his brows came together tightly, his eyes widening just a touch. It was a dramatic contrast to the emotions he'd been displaying so far but Shouta was standing firm on this. He was positive degradation might not be his thing, but he wanted to let Hizashi get it out and even if he couldn't hear it, he'd still know what he was saying because it'd be impossible for him not too.
Shouta would hear it and that's all that mattered. Besides, it was one of those nights where they had the house to themselves which was rare as both Hitoshi and Eri preferred to sleep at the house during the beginning of the weekend, but they had chosen to spend a night at the dorms. He nodded when the blonde continued to look at him with surprise, sure the determination he felt displayed itself on his face with enough conviction that the blonde would understand he wasn't joking.
Why would you want me to do that to you?
Why? He thought he'd said why but maybe it was just a reaction? He didn't mind saying it again with his hands, didn't mind if he had to say it with his voice that was only just now recovering from the choking, and he still wouldn't mind saying it. He just hoped tonight wouldn't be the thing that has him hoarse again, but he knew it more than likely will be. Because you need it. It's not what I want anymore but it's about what you want, what you need to feel better.
That's not what this is about, Shouta. If you think this is simply about me getting back at you then you're wrong. You've been so reckless lately. Those hands paused, a frown tugging at his husband's lips as he took a breath then let it out slowly. You've been selfish. Greedy.
And you're absolutely right, I've been greedy, I've been reckless, selfish and that's not fair to you at all. Tonight is yours, next time is yours, and the time after that. Just because I'm choosing this doesn't mean a thing. You get to control how we do it tonight, however you see fit, and for however long. Would...Would you want that, Zashi? Because I want to help fix things. I need to make up for what I did. It's not like I or anyone would want to be called names or be spoken too like that but I want you to feel better. I want you to get it out. Because...Because I miss you, Zashi. And I want you to touch me, to kiss me again, and I don't think I can stand another second without you.
And there it was. He felt a mild burn to his cheeks that he knew just had to be identical to the pink shade coloring his husband's cheeks, followed by a look of guilt that mixed with such a look of longing that it made his heart hurt. His hands lifted, arms opening for the blonde who released his hold on the sheets in favor of walking around the bed where Shouta stood at and he wondered if his own face betrayed that same look.
Guilt and longing. He buried his face into the blonde's shoulder when he stepped into his arms, closing them around his waist, and it was like he had been in pain but hadn't known it; like he hadn't been breathing right and was finally getting a breath. He clung to the blonde who seemed to hold him just as tightly, like he couldn't bear an inch of space, and Shouta honestly loved the tight hold when he felt lips press against his shoulder through the fabric of his shirt.
It was quiet. Of course, it would be, but he didn't mind it as he felt the blonde bury his face into his shoulder in a similar manner to what he had done, and he closed his eyes as he inhaled the blonde's familiar scent. Soaking in his warmth, the feel of his lithe body pressing to his. Then it was ending as the blonde pulled back, opening his eyes when hands slid around his waist then lifting upwards.
Are you sure?
Was he sure? Not completely. Just because he didn't know how he would do with verbal cruelty, any cruelty and degradation from his husband but as he stared at the blonde, he knew he would. It wouldn't solve everything, it wouldn't fix what had been done, but he wanted it to open that window of possibility for them to start to fix it. He slid his own hands along the blonde's waist, feeling the little shiver run over him as he did so and lifted his own hands up. Absolutely.
And you're sure you want tonight to be about me taking it out on you? That I can do that to you?
Yes.
And you're REALLY okay with that? With me being cruel, greedy, and degrading you like that? You're one hundred percent on that?
Yes.
He stared at the blonde's hesitant, disbelieving fast as his hands hovered near his chest like he wanted to be ready to sign at him at a moment's notice and nodded again to confirm his answer. Hizashi's lips moved wordlessly, like he wanted to say something, but he fought the urge to do so in that moment as he looked over in the direction of his hearing aids with that look on his face still. While he was far from speaking perfectly without his hearing aids in, Hizashi could keep a rather even tone if he tried though naturally it was hard given, he couldn't hear himself but that's what Shouta wanted.
For him to not hear. He knew if the blonde heard his own voice saying the words in his head it would do the opposite of what he wanted to achieve tonight. He watched the blonde pick at his lip while staring at his hearing aids before turning his head back to look at Shouta and he gave another nod. Encouraging this time. He expected many things from the blonde when they slept together but the way he was spun and shoved onto the bed, flying backwards so fast he quite literally tripped over his feet as he fell onto the bed was not one of them.
It was rough, harsh and before he even processed that the blonde had pushed him there, he felt the bed lightly dip as the blonde crawled on top of him. He was stunned to say the least. That only increased when lips crashed down on his, a muffled noise of surprise leaving him, and yet he never felt such relief, such satisfaction as fiercely as he ever could with those lips on his own. Two weeks without touches, without kisses, without the comfort of a partner being so close was agony.
How he lasted as long as he has, he would never know. It was a mystery, and he knew it would remain that way forever. He happily moved his lips with the rough, ruthless pace his husband settled on and he had to admit he struggled just a bit to keep up with the movements when he reached his hands up to tug the blonde's hair down, to touch his face, when they were grabbed. He jumped at the tight grip on his hands then making a surprised hum when they were pinned to the bed on either side of his head.
The way his hands were being held made it impossible to lace his fingers with the blonde's. His legs were pinned together beneath Hizashi, his knees on either side of his thighs, his ass sitting on top of his pelvis, and he wasn't sure if he was happy to be kissed or ecstatic. If he liked being pinned down or being unable to touch the blonde. He didn't know but it didn't matter because the lips on his, soft as they could be, were pressing hard against his own.
He knew when they pulled away his lips would be throbbing from the intensity. Like he'd been punched right in the mouth. He let out a little groan when his arms were then slid up above his head, hands released only for Hizashi to grip his forearms tightly and kept them pinned to the bed. He felt like every little inhibition, every bit of the turmoil and air inside of him was being washed right out of him as he was kissed.
It was a kiss that burned, the type that flamed rather than smoldered and he was being kissed with such a ruthless passion that he swore his head would spin any moment now as he breathed quickly through his nose. It was hard to keep up with the blonde who seemed to be kissing him as fast, as urgently as he could, and it was leaving him lacking behind as he moved his own in an attempt to keep up.
He groaned again though the noise was louder, but the blonde couldn't hear it hence the lack of a responding noise and it made embarrassment wash through him. He gasped in when the blonde bit at his lower lip harshly, the pain jolting through him. He whimpered when teeth bit at his jaw, the same pain flaring when lips then pressed to the spot as if to soothe the pain and he tilted his head back when the blonde moved down to his throat.
Knew he could stop him from doing what he was going to do because now that the other bruising was gone from his throat it would be painfully obvious just what these new bruises were. He could stop him but he didn't. He swallowed down a noise that wanted to fly out when teeth bit down on the side of his neck, so hard that it felt like he was trying to bite right through the skin. His fingers twitched before curling to his palms into tight fists as he fought the urge to struggle against the tight grip of his forearms.
Fought against it as hard as he could yet it was welling with the urge to touch the blonde hair, tug at his clothes until his skin was beneath his hands. He knew he was still warm from his shower, still radiating head that had Shouta squirming underneath him when the blonde sucked at his skin roughly. The action alone made him whimper softly as his legs squirmed against the bed. He knew the blonde would feel the vibrations next time he made a noise.
Especially if he was at his throat again, and he dug the blunt edges of his nails into his palms fiercely. Right when it felt he couldn't take a second longer of those teeth, of the suction, against his neck they were moving back to his throat where they nipped at his Adam's Apple. Then he leaned up biting just below his jaw, where his pulse fluttered or in that area, and he couldn't stop the moan from flying out of him when the pain ripped across his skin followed by the suction, and he hated that both of these would be in places he couldn't hide easily.
The capture weapon would hide the one on his neck but the one right below his jaw? Impossible. It'd be on display for everyone to see. He whimpered again wanting to bury his hot face into the bed, into his arms, anything to hide it from view and again as that sensation of 'too much too much' began ringing through his head the blonde lifted his mouth from his throat. And then the next action felt so much like a miracle that he gawked at the blonde.
He let go of his arms. His hands twitched for a second, as if relishing in the freedom, before he began moving them to touch the blonde only to find his wrists being grabbed tightly stopping him halfway and the look in those green eyes froze him in place. "Don't fucking touch me until I say so."
The look, the mere expression in those eyes, had him feeling hot and cold. His skin blistered with heat like his face while his heart seemed to kick up to a frantic speed as an icy feeling spread through his midsection. It was like Hizashi was looking at someone he absolutely hated. He felt his lips trembling, tempted to say something because while he wouldn't hear it, the blonde was amazing at lip reading and yet he couldn't think of a single thing to say.
Not one thing could he think of to say that would appease that absolutely thunderous expression on his husband. Was it genuine? Was it real? He didn't know, he didn't know if his husband was truly that angry and he'd just been pushing it down, but it made him whimper quietly to himself at such a look being aimed his way. It wasn't like Hizashi at all. When Hizashi pushed his hands away from him, his wrists lightly throbbing from the lack of pressure.
He let them drop to either side of his head against the bed as he stared up at the blonde with wide eyes. He watched the frames slide off of his face, being placed off to the side of the bed at a safe distance but he knew they'd fall or jolt towards them once they got into it just due to the bed's movements. He wanted to look away, to cover his face from view, as those eyes blazed down at him with all the guilt, all the anger at both him and Shouta, the absolute grief that had held him in a headlock for the past two weeks.
It was all so easy to read but there was another emotion that clawed through the emotions, a glimmer that was growing brighter, and it made him move a hand to press the back of it against his lips to stop the whimper. It was such a vindictive, vengeful look that he'd seen so many times but never aimed his way. Never. He wasn't sure what to make of it, if the blonde was truly pouring his own feelings out to amplify his intentions or if it was an act that he was going through with to go hand in hand with the degradation.
His skin throbbed from the bites, his heart thumped against his chest, and he could feel a light tremble running down his legs as he stared up at his husband. It looked like he wanted to rip him limb from limb, peel his skin away and rip his heart from his chest. Like he wanted to absolutely take him apart piece by piece until there was nothing of him left to rip or maim. And yet it still managed to hold a feeling that he wanted to devour him.
A feeling that Hizashi wanted to have him scream and wail until he was begging him to stop because he couldn't take it anymore. A lustful hunger that he'd seen so many times. It was quiet save for their breathing, the blonde staring down at him and him looking back unable to move his eyes away from his husband. Like he had a shark circling him and he was in free water; he had to keep his eyes on it, or he'd be attacked in a heartbeat the moment he let his guard down.
Then the blonde gained a little look in his eyes that was far worse than all the other emotions that had been displayed so far. Pity. It was like he was looking at a pitiful creature that needed his attention and it made Shouta's cheeks throb lightly from the intensity of his blush as he clenched his jaw tightly. He hated it.
He was surprised by the intensity of which he hated that pitiful look. Surprised by how much he couldn't stand that look. Couldn't stand the sight of it being aimed at him in such a way. He found himself glaring at the blonde before he could stop himself, glaring with all the heat he could muster, and the blonde's own eyes flamed back at him with a rather impressive glare.
"Fucking look at you, so goddamn pathetic! You're always losing control, always looking at me like that, and you think you have any fucking standing? After what you did?"
His voice was perhaps a touch too loud, like he wanted to hear himself but still maintained a hissing quality to his words that made the black-haired man look away to glare towards the room. His head was turning to help avoid any change of looking at the blonde, his teeth grinding together painfully, and he knew he shouldn't do that with a clenched jaw unless he wanted to chip his teeth. He did it before and it could happen again. Then a hand grabbed his chin tightly yanking his head back into position forcing it upwards to face Hizashi, but he kept his eyes angled away.
"I could sit here all night calling you a brat but that isn't the truth now, is it? You're acting like a little bitch! An uptight, prissy little man who thinks he's better than everyone! You even have the balls to be glaring at me like some kind of fucking child! Like you have any right to be angry at me! You're fucking pathetic, Shouta Aizawa, and you always have been! The fact you have the audacity to believe yourself above everything and everyone when you're fucking not is disgusting!"
The words cut into him deeper than he thought they would, to hear the strange mix of words he'd heard for most of his life being spit at him by his husband was...strange. He wouldn't say it aroused him, wouldn't say that in a million years, but it had a strange impact on him. Like an elephant suddenly dropped onto his chest. Yet the hissing tone, the way his eyes burned down at him, they were all so familiar to him as it linked it to that anger that never failed to get him aroused.
It was just those words that threw him off. He thought he'd be prepared for when Hizashi said something, but this was so strange he didn't know if he should reply or ignore it. If he should pretend he didn't hear a thing or take it with a grain of salt. He then felt hands pushing his shirt up making his stomach quiver when the hands drifted over it, palms flush to his skin, and he hissed in a breath at the burst of such pure excitement that burst through him.
It was like a bomb had been dropped inside of him; excitement, elation, such utter joy that his mind could only focus on the fact that finally, finally, finally after two weeks he was being touched. Hizashi was touching him, moving his hands up to his chest fanning his fingers out, and he was touching him. It was just as euphoric as the kiss, no matter how aggressive or hard it had been. He was being touched, he was being kissed, and he was relishing the warmth of his husband's skin from the shower he'd taken.
His breath hitched on the way in, his chest jumping beneath the hands, before rushing out on a gasp as nails dragged over his nipples. He moaned arching his chest up against the blonde's hands eagerly as fingers pinched his nipples tightly, twisting back and forth lightly between the pads of his thumb and pointer finger sending sparks down to his groin. Strange how Hizashi looked so intent to spit venom at him and here he was, feeling the stirrings of arousal pooling in his stomach.
Had the audacity to let his legs twitched impulsively to attempt to spread themselves at the sensation but he couldn't. Wouldn't. Perhaps he felt the vibrations from his throat, maybe they radiated down his chest just a bit somehow, because the fingers pinched so tightly and so fiercely that it had him crying out as he made a small, aborted movement. Not sure whether he wanted to arch up or away from the hands on him.
It was a radiating pain that had him squirming with another little movement he stopped before it could become something bigger. He grits his teeth at the pain that seemed to increase across his chest as nails dug into his nipples. It hurt and it was increasingly uncomfortable as he hissed out a breath squeezing his eyes shut. He couldn't stop himself from jerking his chest down, slamming his back into its originally place against the bed as if it would get him away, but the fingers merely remained where they were making him shout again.
He wanted to reach up and grab his hands to shove them away but he was listening, listening, listening to the blonde this time. He wouldn't step out of line; he wouldn't even go anywhere near the line. He would let Hizashi do whatever he needed, whatever he wanted, to him if it made him feel even a little better. If it got it out of his system just a bit before they could begin working on it more then he'd allow it.
His arms pressed against the top of his head as his hands curled into fists again that trembled when he felt the begs rising up his throat, lips trembling with the urge to shout at him to stop when the fingers released his nipples. He gasped at the lack of tightness though pain still tingled across his chest as he forced his eyes open to stare at the blonde who was grabbing at his shirt yanking it up.
He got a hum of approval when he straightened his arms allowing it to be pulled off of him then tossed off of the bed and then the blonde did the same. His pajama shirt flew up over his head faster than Shouta thought possible, those incredibly familiar piercings winking at him delightfully as his chest flexed and twisted catching the light just right as he threw his shirt to the side. Then there was a moment of stillness; Hizashi looking at him and him looking at the blonde.
He wondered if his husband's heart was beating just as hard, just as fast, and if he felt just as eager to feel him as he did. If he was painfully desperate, unbearably excited to touch and kiss, to suck and bite at skin that would grow salty with sweat until they were gasping for air. If, like him, his husband couldn't wait another second because it had been too long. Far too long. Two weeks was a long time not to touch, not to turn to one another, and he wouldn't stand for it anymore.
He couldn't. It was too much to be so close but so upset at the same time. It was a never-ending cycle that he needed to break with Hizashi's help. Then the blonde was moving over him again, cheeks a soft red as he leaned down hovering above him and the zaps of electricity he felt at those green eyes peering directly into his own and lips that were mere inches away was aweing. Their breaths mingled together until a look of such utter longing, such desperation flashed through the heat of those eyes made Shouta moan quietly at the sight of it.
Tipping his head back a touch to make it easier. Smoother. And the hands on his chest twitched before the blonde released a little moan himself before leaning down kissing him so fiercely, so hard and with such passion in it that he squeezed his own forearms to keep from touching. The hands slid up from his chest to cup his face, so tender despite the aggressive manner that the blonde was kissing him in, and he moaned into the kiss at the contradicting emotions being placed onto him.
Tender hands and aggressive lips. It was like that hot and cold sensation he felt minutes ago. He kissed the blonde back with as much of his own passion, his own urgency that he could stir up in himself and it earned him a groan in response. Thumbs stroked his cheeks, tiny little strokes and circles that alternated constantly. He dug his nails into his forearms as he clutched at them, kissing him with such delight that it made a quiet growl leave the blonde, his tongue licking at his lower lip, and he parted his lips just as eagerly.
He whined into the kiss at the rather aggressive way the blonde's tongue twisted and lashed at his own; like he was trying to pour every drop of anger, every drop of that unmistakable grief, the anxiety and longing he'd no doubt been feeling. He tried to copy the movements but he couldn't copy that ruthless, vindictive way the blonde's tongue moved against his own and he was grateful he was on his back because he knew a kiss like this would have him drooling in any other position.
It was aggressive, it was vengeful, and it was perhaps one of the sloppiest kisses they've shared since the night they roleplayed. He normally wasn't a fan of sloppy kisses, finding them over gratuitously in the flashing of tongues, how wet it was and just how disgusting it was to see but if he couldn't see it then did it matter? After all, he wasn't going to cross any lines and tell him to stop.
He didn't want to tell him to stop. He played with the tongue piercing any chance he got, the sound of it clicking off teeth ringing out every once in a while, and each time it made him twitch as heat flashed under his skin. It was an embarrassing, lewd type of kiss that he was glad he would never have to see himself perform. It felt odd knowing Hizashi couldn't hear these little things; the clicking of his piercing, the quiet whines leaving his throat, or their racing breaths taken through noses that fanned out against hot cheeks.
That he couldn't hear the bedsheets rustling beneath Shouta each time he squirmed or the quiet slick sounds of their kissing. It was like Hizashi placed him in the spot of the sole listener and it embarrassed the hell out of him but there was a strange rush at the fact he couldn't heard. While normally, anyone would be thrilled at the thought of not being heard, Shouta was no different. He always felt self-conscious, embarrassed over the sounds he made hours after they'd finished.
He'd give anything for him to be silent during sex to save himself those feelings, but Hizashi always coaxed them out of him. Claiming he loved his voice; he loved his sounds, and he loved hearing him be so vocal when normally he was a quieter man outside the bedroom. Wasn't quite as expressive as he always said. Shouta knew he could be as loud as he wanted, both now and with the kids being gone, but something stopped him.
Was it because he knew Hizashi would feel the vibrations? Because the thought of being the only one to hear them until Hizashi started releasing his own was too much? He didn't know what the real answer could be, but it was hard to be rational or have cohesive thoughts when the blonde was absolutely dominating his mouth in a way, he only did when he was very upset or angrily worked up.
It was a rush honestly. His legs were squirming restlessly, heels sliding against the sheets as his knees threatened to come up only for him to slam them together to keep from doing so as he panted through his nose quickly. His lashes fluttered against his skin, tickling it lightly, and his bangs fell in his face annoyingly due to his position, but the blonde had yet to brush them away or pin them back in any way.
He gasped when the blonde finally pulled away, lips parted when he that probably despite the blonde's best attempts there was a little line of drool running down his chin due to his position. Shouta felt fortunate that all he had to do was swallow any excess drool that pooled in the back of his throat during it. However, it was far more embarrassing to see the strand of saliva connected to Hizashi's tongue only for the blonde to smirk as he licked his lips.
Twitching when he felt the strand drape down his chin. And then the blonde let that mean, vicious smirk widen as he moved his hands from Shouta's cheeks, tracking them as they pressed to his chest again where his left hand began tracing the rim of his areola, the skin tingling lightly while the other slid down. He whined when the hand gripped his groin tightly, the pain sparking briefly at just how aggressively he was grabbed. How the fingers dug into him fiercely, yet his hips arched up eagerly against the hand.
"I'm not even fucking surprised at this point, Sho! You've always managed to get hard after a few kisses, huh? My god, a feather could turn you on, couldn't it? You really that desperate? That fucking eager to be talked down too? What a pathetic, pitiful little thing you are that you'd get hard from a few mean words from your husband! What are you, fifteen? Some fucking teenager who can't control himself? Mmmm never mind, I take that bad because that's an insult to teenagers! They'd act far better than you are because as horny as they are I bet they wouldn't fall apart like you! Even teenage Shouta held his own against me back then! And now I bet I could make you hard with just a look in public, couldn't I? Because you're just that fucking desperate for me, aren't you?"
He released such a high moan that he almost didn't recognize it as himself; a keening sound that seemed to ring in the air, in his ears, and he clung to his forearms tightly. Like it would make the sound go away. He then decided that if he couldn't be heard speaking, he could at least sign at the man and he knew it wouldn't go unseen with those focused so intensely on him. So, he forced his fingers to let go, flexing them out before bringing them down to his chest noticing the shake to them.
And then the blonde flicked a thumb over his nipple bringing a whine out of him. It was strangely sensitive from the tight pinches that had been given earlier and his hips jumped up at the sensation when he looked up to make sure the blonde was looking at his hands, which they were thankfully. He then forced his shaking hands to move. Zashi, please!
"'Please'? Please what, Sho?" His voice was rising and falling uncontrollably, loud then to a normal volume repeatedly, and it made him shiver as he stared up at the blonde who then cocked his head to the side widening his eyes. The look of such mock surprise that it made him whine quietly at the way it made his stomach squeeze excitedly. He looked so mean and God, even his words held a hostility to them that made him shiver.
"I thought you said I could be selfish tonight and do what I want? That I could do, say whatever I want to feel better? Because you miss me, right? I haven't even started and you're already begging? God, you are absolutely the most shameful fucking man I've ever met in my life! And not to mention what a dirty, shameless fucking pervert you are!"
Oh, it stung. It stung and it stung good. He hoped that when it was over, when they were through that his husband would feel better. Feel relieved like he was aiming to achieve with him by letting him do something like this. He knew his husband would feel bad but not nearly as bad as he would if he heard himself saying those cruel, stinging words. And yet he couldn't deny it. He couldn't hide the fact that that mean, venomous man above him was making him burn up. There was no point in lying. In hiding it anyhow. Hizashi would just tear away his facade mercilessly.
"You know, everything you've done is absolutely perverted! Every tiny thing you do day to day says it all! How you let me grind against your lap any time we're alone because you get off on it so fucking hard but pretend you don't! And you like being touched all the time, no matter if it's in sight of others or if we're alone together! You're just a dirty old man, aren't you? I bet you'd hump my fucking leg just to get off like the bitch you are!"
He whimpered bucking his hips up when the blonde squeezed tightly, grinding the heel of his hand against the bulge there and he shuddered at the heat in the blonde's bouncing voice, but not once did he deny it. God, did he actually like this? He was so unsure about it in the beginning but now it felt so utterly different. Different? Oh, it was damn good. Was it different because this was getting him hot?
Was it because the first words felt like a personal attack? Because they were chopped up words he'd heard all his life and hearing them from his husband had stung more? He didn't know, he genuinely did not know himself anymore. Would anything turn him on? Would he find every situation hot? Or was it because it was coming from Hizashi that made it so much better than it would be with someone else or on his own?
He cried out when fingers once again pinched his nipple tightly only the pain seemed to jump up faster than earlier due to the sensitivity, and the hand grinding against him squeezed painfully tight. He wished he could speak to the blonde, speak and be heard, but he didn't want to tell him to stop and put his hearing aids in. But then he could say anything, right? He could say whatever he wanted, and the blonde wouldn't hear a single bit of it, and he wouldn't see it if he angled his face away so he couldn't read his lips.
The way those eyes were on him was like they expected an answer, a response to his words, and he felt fingers playing with the waistline of his pajama pants in that teasing way they had during the choking incident. Pulling it down just far enough for it to flip back into place. He could feel the words crawling up his throat, unable to choke them down, and he turned his head throwing his arms over his face hiding it from view. His mind was convinced that if he was the only one who could hear, the only one that would hear his voice rise and form the words, then it was fine to admit it out loud. It was okay to say it because no one but him would hear it.
"Zashi! Zashi, h-how are you so good at this? What the actual fuck! It's stupid! It's so stupid because you're r-right! About all of it! I'm a fucking pervert! I like it all! A-All of it! Everything we do, every touch! I love when you touch me even if I snap!"
He shouted into his arms muffling them the best he could because he just couldn't shake the idea that somehow Hizashi knew what he was saying. That he knew exactly what he would say next before he did. The hands on him squeezed, pinched and brought bright sparks of pain that were then soothed away with sparks of pleasure straight down to his groin as if he had heard him. He loved it. God, he felt like he could admit anything and his husband wouldn't know because he couldn't hear. But it didn't work like that. It never worked like that.
"Mmmmnnn! Mmmf, more! Please, touch me more? Please, Z-Zashi? I can't take it anymore! I want you insi-!" His arms were wrenched away from their positions over his face making him gasp as the hands left their tasks to do it and he was left jerking against the sheets when he looked up at the harsh glare pointed down at him making his heart pound against his chest.
"What the fuck are you saying? Are you gonna be rude now? I get that you're an absolute douchebag on a good day but now's not the time to act like a fucking dick! You think I can't feel the vibrations? I know you're fucking talking! Come on, now, tell everyone! Speak up! I know you're not that shy! Perverted little man that you are, I know you got a vulgar and filthy ass mouth!" He then smirked at the black-haired man who stared with wide dark eyes at him. "Just because I can't hear you doesn't mean I won't know what you're saying! Now, are you going to talk to me or are you going to be a little bitch about it? You have a lot to make up for, anyways, and you might as well start now by talking!"
"Why do you even care?" He whimpered out when the hands dragged down his chest clawing at his skin, looking at him with that previous look; like he wanted to rip him apart and scatter his remains. Like he wanted to devour him as he did so.
It was a chilling look and it made him squirm restlessly as the nails dug into his stomach dragging as hard across it as the blonde could and already, they both could see the faint red lines. If Hizashi couldn't hear him then why did it matter? Why would he want Shouta to talk when he wouldn't even hear it? Thoough secretly he knew. He knew it was all part of the degradation his husband was going along with; knew it was just another tactic to rip him apart more. To make him say it when the blonde couldn't hear it. So only he would hear it. Hear his own voice admitting it.
"Th-That's fucking stupid! It's pointless! You can't even hear me!"
"But I can read lips, you know that!" His voice was ridiculously loud, like he was talking to him over the sound of loud music, and it made Shouta shiver as he stared up at the blonde who was smiling wickedly at him. "What? Are you saying you won't do even that? You know, you walk and talk all the time like a fucking slut but the moment I call you out on it you want to get bashful? I can ruin everything for you!"
Oh, fuck why was that so thrilling? Why did it make him shiver as the heat boiled him from the inside out? Was it because that bouncing voice called him a slut? Because it was spit at him like a venomous bullet? As sharp as a cracking whip? He couldn't understand it but it hit just right and he was whimpering softly at the implication of his husband's mean tone. Of the mere idea that it held all the truth in it that he hated to acknowledge. His husband could ruin everything for him if they ever ended on a bad note. And by the gleam in those green eyes, Hizashi knew it.
"That's right! I can have all of fucking Japan -the whole world- knowing that Shouta Aizawa is a goddamn, dick-sick slut! A selfish, greedy little man who doesn't give a fuck! That all he likes is to be pinned down and have his brains fucked out! That he likes choking on a cock and eating me out! You. Are. A. Slut! And you know it! You fucking know it; I know you do! I see it in your eyes! You hop on my cock any time you can! Even before we started this kink shit, you were bending over for me any and everywhere in this house! Even in high school and even when we moved in together! Everywhere! I can tell everyone that you're a dumb bitch who loves having a cock in him any way he can!"
"Shut the fuck up!"
He couldn't stop himself from howling the words as he jerked his hips up as if to buck the blonde off, unsure if he had even read his lips but he felt his face burning far hotter than it had any right too. He hated that the words made him shiver, hated that he could feel his erection twitch eagerly at each word and he hated that it was making him squirm against the sheets as he glared up at his husband. Hated that he felt a faint burn to his eyes.
He didn't cry, he wasn't a crier, and he didn't think tearing up while being gagged counted. Hell, after he'd come too after nearly fainting, he'd been sobbing and that was the first time in years he cried like that. "Shut the fuck up, Hizashi! You're no fucking better! You're a goddamn pervert too! T-The worst kind! It was fucking you that came up with this shit! You came up with the fucking challenge! It was your stupid fucking idea!"
He didn't know how much the blonde could read but the man was lean down, a wicked glint to those green eyes as blonde lashes lowered and his smiled turned into a grin so wicked, so absolutely villainous that he shuddered at the sight of it. How much had he read? Did he keep up with his words? Or was he unable to see? But then he must have known because why else would he be looking at him like that?
"Oh, I may be bad, the worst like you said, but not as bad as you! I've seen what you put on that list, you kinky fucking bastard, and it's shocking just what goes through your mind! You're a much bigger pervert than I could have ever expected and we're just now tapping into it! You walk around acting high and mighty like sexual needs don't touch you but I bet, given what a dirty boy you are, you're always horny someway! Always looking for someplace, some situation where you can get fucked! I bet you'd even like it if I bent you over at work and fucked you there! I bet you can barely last through the day! Especially with the shit that goes through your mind! You're a dick-sick slut and you fucking know it!"
"Go to fucking hell, Hizashi Yamada! Fuck you!"
The blonde merely laughed, the sound so mean and so goddamn mocking that he wanted to punch him in the throat just to make the sound stop and yet he made not a single move. He was panting just as fast as Hizashi, his head was foggy, and he was painfully aware of the effect those words had on him as he clenched his jaw to grind his teeth together again. He hated the burn of tears in his eyes that seemed to be growing stronger as he was ripped apart by words alone, something that was amazingly shocking because Hizashi had barely touched him.
And he was ashamed to admit that he was already falling apart faster than he expected. He then jumped when he felt the blonde kiss his chest, the touch of his lips strangely tender, only for him to shudder as his hands pressed to his forehead like he wanted to cover his eyes. Like it was too much to watch the blonde going down. He hissed through his clenched teeth when the blonde got to his belly button, his fingers curling into the waistline of his pajama bottoms and boxers, tugging at them teasingly as he kissed just below his belly button lightly.
He shivered when the blonde then smirked at him licking down the length of his skin, following his happy trail down to the waistline of his bottoms. Then the blonde was pulling the fabric down to his thighs, a moan tearing out of his throat with a guttural pitch he hadn't known he could make, when the blonde watched with perhaps the greediest face he'd ever seen him make. It even had lust burning in those green eyes so intensely he whimpered as his erection was freed, twitching eagerly against his skin and he heard the blonde's breath hitch in.
He was grateful the blonde had slid between his legs, allowing him to stretch the stiff muscles as he spread his legs eagerly to accommodate his husband's upper body between them. Then he was covering his face with his arms again, howling into them as his body trembled when the blonde licked up the length of his erection and he couldn't stop himself from thrusting his hips when the blonde ground the ball of his piercing against a vein. His hands twitched again to reach down, to touch the blonde and grip those golden locks of his but he held himself stiff against it as Hizashi's words rang in his ears.
'Don't fucking touch me until I say so'. Don't piss him off anymore than he probably already is. This is two weeks in the making. Two long ass weeks it's been building and I don't need another reason against me for him to be pissed off.
He whimpered to himself then slid his hands into his own hair, gripping the locks as though it was a substitution for the blonde locks he wanted to grab at, and he arched his hips up eagerly only to have them shoved back down to the bed roughly. He bounced lightly with the movement, but it didn't stop him from squirming as he slammed his head back against the bed as the blonde licked up and down his erection, as if he was determined to cover every inch of it in his saliva, even swirling his tongue against the tip wickedly.
Then he was undulating his tongue against the slit to grind the piercing against it making another howl fly out of him as his hips struggled to buck up against the hands pinning them down. His feet slid trying to get stability of some kind, to use as leverage to fight against the hands, while the gasps flew out of him as he whined struggling to lift his hips. He yanked at his own hair, pain burning across his scalp as he moaned in that high keening way that had embarrassed him earlier.
Once it was out the others followed much easier with each gasp accompanying after. He felt taps against his thighs making his eyes - eyes that he hadn't known had closed- crack open and he lifted his head up slightly to look down between his trembling thighs at the blonde. Hizashi smiled at him with such innocence that it looked out of place compared to the looks he'd had so far. He blinked at the blonde feeling a little stab of curiosity when lips pressed against the tip in a cheeky little kiss.
He then gasped in a breath as the excitement ripped through him, his hips jerking desperately against his husband's hands, and he cried out at the lips closing around the tip trembling as the blonde sank down in one smooth movement. While Shouta was only perhaps an inch shorter sitting at an even six inches, he knew Hizashi, who sat at a seven and half inches if he remembered right, always claimed girth could be preferred more than length for some people.
Aka referring to himself. His fingers tightened, gripping fistfuls of his own hair tightly feeling fingers trembling against his scalp, and his chest heaved as he felt the blonde's nose press against his pelvis. Then he whimpered when those lashes fluttered for a moment, like he had shut them, only for them to open again then flick up at him. Those green eyes smoldered at him with the unspoken challenge for him to look away.
The dare for him too. He was sure he was going to burst into flames, spontaneously combust on the bed, when the blonde began bobbing his head while keeping his eyes locked right onto Shouta's with such intensity it made him whimper again. He didn't know what he wanted to do, only that he didn't want to cross a line he didn't know was in front of him, and his hips twitched when the blonde sank down rubbing the piercing against that same vein it had before each time he went down.
While Hizashi sang praises of his blowjob skills, given he wasn't being choked on the blonde's dick, the man said he gave the best blowjobs he'd ever had in his life which was ironic given Hizashi didn't really date around. He did receive a few blowjobs in high school when they weren't quite committed to each other, something he never held against him, because Shouta himself had fooled around quite a bit.
Nothing crazy, just a hand job in a bathroom stall at a school function that had been performed on him and then there was the one time he went down on Oboro when they had both gotten higher than intended smoking for the first time and were curious about the other. Curious if there really was unexplained chemistry between them that everyone around them claimed there was and they just weren't seeing it.
Hizashi, of course, knew about this. In fact, the blonde had claimed he never actively went after Shouta until their second year simply because he was convinced that he had feelings for Oboro. Even though Shouta constantly denying it. It wasn't until Oboro and Nemuri began dating that the blonde took his shot and was accepted by him. But he always thought his blowjob skills were mediocre, is the point.
He didn't think he was great or exceptional but to Hizashi he apparently was, but he didn't believe that. Not when the blonde was making his legs spasm, his breaths rasp out of him, and his eyes fluttering as they threatened to roll up each time the blonde came to the tip to rub his tongue against the tip. He cried out loudly when the blonde sank down letting out what he had to swear was THE most Porn star quality moan he had ever heard come from the blonde.
The sound, the sensation alone, created the most delightful vibrations he'd ever felt. His hips bucked up eagerly getting in a thrust to the unsuspecting blonde who quickly pinned his hips down yet again holding him still and he let out a high-strung sound that pulled at his vocal cords promising to make him hoarse. He then repeated that sound, possibly a mangled wail if he had to place the pitch, when the blonde pulled off of after a minute of vibrations and swallowing where he suckled at the tip before pulling off with a smirk on his lips.
"I bet," The words were whispered with such a dangerous tone as the blonde crawled up towards him again, hands sliding from his hips to the bed to keep himself stable as he leaned over Shouta again and he shivered at those eyes glinting at him. "Anything that you've already prepped yourself, haven't you? Why else would you have started the conversation tonight? Are you that much of a fucking cock-craving slut? Do you want me to fuck you that badly? Can't even wait a second of prep that you did it before hand?" He shivered with a whimper as the blonde's smirk widened. "You know, you love praise so much that the fact that you like me talking to you like this says a lot about you as a person, Shouta! Such a naughty little boy, I bet you want it now, huh? Can't wait one more second?"
He could feel his lips trembling as he clenched his jaw again before hesitating before shaking his head, his hands still clutching at his hair, and the blonde's smirk was so wide it was almost unsettling. The fact that his husband could look so wicked was sending shivers down his spine as he swallowed only for the blonde to press a kiss to his throat, right over that bobbing Adam's Apple, and he couldn't stop a whine from leaving his throat.
He tilted his head back eagerly as he slid his hands from his hair down to the bed sheets where he squeezed them tightly. His knuckles went white with the intensity of his grip, and his breath was rasping out of him faster than it was going in. His thighs twitched as if to spread wider, hips twitching before raising up with the silent beg hanging in the air as he was helpless against the urge to grind up against the blonde who moaned softly against his throat.
The bites had to be bruises by now, didn't they? He wondered if they were dark or if they would be darker by the morning which had him moaning loudly at the thought despite knowing there were repercussions with those bruises. He'd never hear the end of it. He groaned with irritation, disappointment even, when a hand pressed against his pelvis shoving it down to the bed for what felt like the millionth time.
He hadn't thought about it, hadn't really processed the thought, but he wondered how Hizashi's scratches had healed. When he'd been choked, he'd clawed so viciously at the blonde's skin that he'd left scrapes and shallow cuts from the intensity at which he clawed despite his nails having been blunt. Where the marks still there? Or did they heal over smoothly like he expected? He didn't know but he wanted so badly to touch the blonde, to slide his hands over the warmth of his skin, but he refused too.
Knew he'd be stepping over the line that he had set, and he didn't want to do that. Not when he wanted to make it up to the blonde after his little stunt. He bit his lip when he jerked his hips up again, but the blonde made a soft growling sound as he nips at his throat before pulling back with a glare that seared right into him from its intensity. Then that same smirk that had been on his lips before stretched across his lips again and he leaned down kissing his chest softly.
A lock of his bangs managing to slip free from the pony tail he'd pulled his hair into, and it brushed against his skin creating a ticklish sensation. His breath hitched as he watched with a mesmerized, glazed fascination to his mind as the blonde once again to lock eyes with him again He then lapped his tongue across a nipple making him whimper eagerly, hips twitching up against the hand holding them down. He hated it. He loved it.
He didn't know which emotion was strongest but then the blonde was tracing the rim of his areola teasingly then flattening his tongue over the nipple again, making sure to once again rub his piercing against him. God, he fucking loved his piercings. All three of them were the best and he openly supported, openly begged the blonde to think of getting more somewhere, anywhere. Hizashi with a belly button ring?
An eyebrow ring? Nose? Lip? God, it would be amazing! Hell, even a tattoo or two would be amazing on the blonde who had once theorized about it out loud before. His mind was pulled from his little fantasies where Hizashi could possibly come home with tattoos or new piercings only to cry out when teeth bit at his nipple fiercely. It only lasted a second, but he was gasping in a breath as the blonde pulled away. "I'll only ask you one time; do you want me to put my hearing aids in? Do you want me to hear you?"
He shook his head so violently his hair whipped around his shoulders, bangs hitting his cheeks making Hizashi chuckle as he rubbed his fingers against his pelvis sliding downwards to the black curls of pubic hair. That wasn't the deal; he had said Hizashi didn't need to put his hearing aids in, not until they were done or until tomorrow morning even. He didn't have to hear a thing until he wanted to. He honestly just loved how the blonde's voice rose and fell, which tended to happen without his hearing aids in.
Sometimes managed to control his voice though naturally it was hard to control what you couldn't hear. And he fucking loved it. So much. Others would find it obnoxious, annoying, and they did. SO many times when Hizashi didn't charge his hearing aids before school, he had heard all the disgusting, annoying things the others had said about him but he loved it. Loved hearing his voice bounce. It matched his personality so much. Ten he snapped to attention when fingers brushed against his cheek.
"Alright then, you just scream as loud as you want too, and you say what you want because no one but you will hear it. I'll know everything you say to some extent if I see your lips and even if you don't show me I'll know. So don't fuck around with me, got it? You may act like some kind of dumb bitch, but I know you aren't, and you know better than to cheat us both out of something. Now, I bet since you're such a fucking excitable little bitch in heat, you'll be saying anything! Now, get the lube and get these fucking pants off."
He blinked when the blonde moved away to crawl to the edge of the bed, standing up to push his own pajama pants off and the sight of the fabric sliding down his thighs had Shouta kicking then yanking at his own throwing them much harder than he needed too as they hit the dresser. He heard a handle rattle from the impact, but he hardly cared as he was turning to crawl across Hizashi's side of the bed yanking the bedside table drawer open reaching inside for the lube and slamming it shut.
He could hear items rattling around from the roughness. He turned back to Hizashi who was handing holding out his glasses and he took them from the blonde then placed them in their glasses case on the bedside table next to his hearing aids. The rolled lightly from the force of him slamming the drawer shut and yet he couldn't possibly work up the will to care as he then twisted back to his husband who was crawling towards him.
Then he reached out grabbing an ankle, yanking him across the sheets making him release a sound that was dangerously close to a squeal, and he hated that he could make such a sound. He was a grown man, but he was shrieking like a little kid and though it shouldn't matter since he was the only one who could hear it, it still embarrassed him. He then was flipped over onto his side, shoulder digging into the mattress, and he blinked in surprise when he then looked to the blonde.
Watched as he popped open the lube squeezing it onto his palm when he realized just what position he'd been placed in. He had to admit it was one of his favorite's. Hizashi said it was called side-doggy style and said, in his own colorful words, 'I like hitting it from the back sometimes!' and he never questioned it because that alone was embarrassing to hear. Shouta loved it because Hizashi would hike one of his legs up, elbow hooked around his knee lifting it high as he could and because he had a rather good flexibility, he loved to reach behind to clutch at the blonde.
Perhaps there was something erotic about not being able to see the blonde's face, to feel his breath puffing against the back of his neck or shoulder and being held tight to his chest. Much like reverse cowgirl was one of Hizashi's favorites this was one of the most loved positions Shouta had. He then felt his brain click as he looked at the blonde humming quietly as he slid his hand along his erection until he nodded with satisfaction as it glistened slickly in the lamp light.
Then he squeezed a dollop onto his fingers as he crawled on handed behind Shouta. Hizashi didn't have a condom on. He couldn't talk because even if he did Hizashi wouldn't know what he was saying, couldn't see his lips, and it sent a rush through him as he felt fingers reaching down to rub against his entrance. It was true, though, what Hizashi had said. He did prepare himself as he had planned on doing something tonight to help the start of mending things, but he just hadn't been sure what he wanted to do until he was looking at the list.
Looking for perhaps something tame, something that wouldn't push anything after last time. He sucked in three quick breaths in response to the excitement that welled up so powerfully inside of him that it left him breathless when the blonde reached down lifting his thigh upwards sliding his hand down to his knee where he stretched his arm out to hook his elbow around it. He shivered as his right hand clutched at the blanket beneath him, the other twitching against his stomach with the urge to reach around for the blonde but he fought it though it was getting hard.
So hard not to just touch him. Just once he wanted to touch and just once he wanted to feel the feverish, slick skin beneath his palm. His jaw dropped as he gasped in a breath only for it to come out as a strained cry that pulled at his vocal cords, his hands tightening into fists that trembled, as his brows came together, and he trembled. All from the blonde pushing into him, slowly moving as he groaned against the back of Shouta's shoulder, and the fast breaths against his own feverish skin betrayed the blonde's excitement.
He nearly threw his head back as he moaned loudly, his left-hand twitching and the fingers flexing out to claw at his own skin to fight it. To keep from t ouching the blonde. The pads of his fingers dug into his stomach as the blonde slowly pushed in until he was bottoming out with his pelvis pressed tightly against him and he trebled at the stretch of his muscles, the little discomfort making him moan out again.
It was exactly what he had been missing. The familiar push, the twitches, the girth and length of his husband's erection as it sat inside him with hips pressed tightly against him feeling just as hot as his own as he squirmed. It would have been still had it not been for the way the blonde's chest rose and fell against his back, his own chest heaving with excited breaths as his leg trembled lightly in the blonde's grasp.
He whimpered when the blonde rubbed his knee lightly. Strangely enough, he loved that it felt tight. That he was overfilled, that his husband felt too big for him despite the preparation he gave himself in the shower before the blonde went in. He didn't know if he trusted himself to lift his left hand from his stomach, to lift it just high enough to sign at his husband, but he took a deep breath before raising his hand upwards flexing fingers as if it would erase the tremble to it. He then tapped on the blonde's hand lightly feeling the blonde's breaths leave his shoulder to raise his head to look at his hand and he slowly began to sign at his husband.
M-o-v-e.
The groan he got from his husband had him shivering when he left out a puff of air when hips pulled backwards just a bit to thrust forward shallowly, and he quickly dropped his left hand to the sheets that he gripped fiercely. When would he say to touch? When could he touch? When, when, when? He let his head fall to the side, his hair spilling over his shoulder and a few locks drifted over his left shoulder covering his neck. He whimpered as the shallow thrusts began coming faster, picking up speed that had him clawing at the sheets as lips then began kissing his shoulder softly which was such a complete contrast to every single other thing that happened tonight.
So different but not unwelcome. He moaned when teeth scraped his shoulder before shifting upwards feeling the blonde's chin coax the hair away from his throat and he shivered as lips then pressed against his neck. It was still a touch sore from the rough treatment it had gotten earlier yet his toes curled at the idea of the blonde biting it again. Possibly even breaking the skin this time round.
He tightened his knee around the arm holding it up when the blonde abandoned the shallow thrusts for the long, fast ones he loved. He could feel the bed beneath them moving lightly with the movements though it barely impacted the rest of the bed like it would have it been harsher. He never, in all of his life, wanted to touch Hizashi like he does now. He wanted to reach behind him to wrap that ponytail around his fist, to feel the soft locks sliding between his fingers, to wrap around his shoulder the best he could to hold onto him and coax him to hold his leg higher.
To thrust faster. He wouldn't hear his orders if he spoke which had him groaning softly at, but he had promised that Hizashi didn't have to wear the hearing aids. Promised that it was okay, yet he wanted nothing more than to bark out orders for harder, faster like he wanted too. He wanted to scream and howl at him to do what they both wanted, to lose his inhibitions and treat him roughly again like he was trying to get some type of revenge on him, but it would quite literally fall on deaf ears.
He loved the moans spilling out of Hizashi, his breath hot against his neck making him whimper and he knew he could reach out for the blonde, consequences be damned, but he wanted his husband to get out every little bit of his emotions as he can. If it means torturing Shouta not only with his words but his actions alone then he'd let him. It was hard to fight the urge to cling onto the blonde like he always did but perhaps that's what made it so good; to be touched but not allowed to touch back.
He let muffled little sounds mingle with each puff of air that rushed out of him in time to the thrusts behind him. He was shaking as he silently begged the blonde for more, for harder, to be mean. To not treat him so strangely gentle as he was now. He felt nails digging into his knee when the blonde then nipped the shell of his ear making him moan as his lashes fluttered shut, trembling against his hot cheeks as he squirmed his hips backwards against his husband.
Hoping, hoping, and begging that he would understand just what he wanted. If he understood, then he let no signs show as he continued going at the pace he had chosen. Fast but not hard enough to really nudge him with him with the movements or even make him bounce from the impact which was frustrating in itself. How had he gone from unsure to liking this degradation to finding some interest in it?
Was it because his mind was convinced, somewhere deep in there, that he was a slut? He never really fought off Hizashi when they were at home, when they were alone in the bedroom or the house, but is that what it made him? Everything that Hizashi had called him? He trembled when teeth bit at his earlobe, the breaths loud and hot against his ear as he whimpered low in his throat at the little pain brought to him though he knew Hizashi had much more sensitive ears.
"Jesus Christ, Sho, are you sure that any prep was do-done? You're too fucking t-tight!" His words were groaned out lowly against his ear, strangled almost as he clutched at the leg in his grasp, hand squeezing tightly at his knee. "F-Fuck! You're su-such a slut huh? A body that's only good for fucking! Nothing b-but a cock whore! All you d-do is push, and push, and push me! Al-Always pushing limits that d-don't need to be pushed and scare me!"
A brief, stab of guilt. Of course he had scared Hizashi, of course he had, and he hated it. He had been reckless, greedy, and his husband was right. He was right in that he pushed the blonde constantly, pushing limits that didn't need to be pushed and being utterly reckless. Being selfish in that he wanted what he wanted with the choking but had backfired horribly. He wasn't thinking anymore about the precautions and rather wanted to jump right into the pleasure. To feel good with Hizashi and it wasn't right. He whimpered when fingers dug into him fiercely.
"Y-You don't care about anything! Just a greedy wh-whore who wants to get off no matter w-what! A goddamn two-hole whore who's no better than a fu-fucking dog in heat! You ne-never listen to me! B-But now here you are letting me bully you, letting me ca-call you names and you're getting o-off on it! Mmm! Fuck! Y-You're strangling my cock, Sho!"
"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Ah! Ahhhn, ah! Zashi, Zashi, yes! Ah, I'm- Nnngnn! A whore! A slut! Want you so bad! So bad! Wa-Want you to fuck me all the time! All the ti-time! Anywhere! Anywhere, Zashi! Mmmnnn, yes! Ah, haah, be mean! Mean, Zashi! I- Hnnn, mmm! So good! So good, Ah! Please, please, please!"
"Shit! I-I can't believe it! I- Mmmn! Ah! Ah, yes! Yes! Hell yess! Bu-but you know what? You may be it but you're mine! My slut, my perverted and naughty boy, and I-I'm gonna exploit all of it! Fu-Fuck you so much you'll beg me to stop! Wo-Would you like that? To be treated as no-nothing more than a cum dumpster? Used like t-the whore we both know you are?"
"Yesss! Yes, yes, yes! Fucking yes! Mmmm, yeah! Yeah! I can't- I can't help myself! Love fucking you! Al-Always feels fucking goood! D-Don't want you to stop touching me ever! Tr-Treat me like a slut! Take y-your anger out on me!"
He couldn't stop himself from shouting as his breath shuddered down his throat, his teeth grinding together when the blonde's thrusts sped up but still seemed to be intentionally missing his prostate making him growl in impatience. He didn't think twice about replying even if he knew the blonde couldn't hear him. And even if he could he knew he'd still treat him the same way and it made tingles race down to his groin making his erection twitch against his lower stomach.
"Zashi! Zashi, so good! It's- Ahh! Oh! Hooohh my fucking God just do- Nnnnghh! Mmmmfnn! Mmm! Ah! Ah, ah, ah! It's ri-right there! Please! Please, baby, please!"
He knew it was impossible to be heard, knew that his husband wouldn't know what he said, and it sent shivers down his spine as he lost the fight against the temptation that had been clawing at him. His left hand flew up from the sheets, flying backwards to grab the blonde's ponytail and wrapping the hair around his fingers as he lifted his head enough to turn his head and the blonde moaned loudly as Shouta tugged at his hair. He didn't get a biting, scathing response like he thought he would.
Instead tilted his head back a bit awkwardly until he found the blonde's lips, feeling drunk on the relief and satisfaction that weaved through him. He was finally letting himself touch some part of the blonde even if it was his hair, and he relished in the way it was so soft against his fingers as he tightened the strands until his fingers throbbed lightly. Though he knew he'd hear shit about it later that he hadn't listened to the one thing Hizashi told him not to do.
He pressed against the back of his head to keep their lips together, the blonde moaning happily into the kiss as his hips worked harder, harder, harder making him cry out into the kiss. Hizashi seemed to take the parting of his lips to release the sound as an invitation, an opportunity he couldn't skip out on. He moaned in time with his husband as their tongues met yet again. Was it possible to have a degradation kink and a praise one at the same time?
He thought nothing could make him more euphoric than being called a good boy, that he loved the sweet praises from the blonde more than anything, and yet here he was falling apart from a few harsh words. Could he possibly be interested in both? He felt strangely like that wasn't allowed; that he couldn't like both. That he had to pick one or the other but then he knew Hizashi would just call him silly over his brief moment of turmoil.
Hizashi would kiss his face, calling him those sweet names that always made his heart flutter, and his nose when then rub against his making him giggle. He knew he would talk to Hizashi about it, bring up both of these little things, and he knew he would get the reassurance he needed about the conflicting interests that insisted he couldn't possibly like both. How could he like being called a good boy and feel so unbelievably turned on at being called a slut?
Called all these things that were more graphic the longer they went on and made him burn hotter? Or was it because, again, it was simply Hizashi making it more appealing? He knew he could quite possibly be getting off on the fact that him and him alone could hear these words being spit at him though they lacked the heat, the venomous hiss that they needed to be truthful, and he still loved it.
He didn't need it to feel genuine for the things he said to land blows on him leaving him squirming. He felt the blonde angle his hips, pausing to do so, and his breath hitched in hopefully through his nose only for it fly out of him as the blonde began pounding into him. Each hit was striking at his prostate making his eyes roll back at the pleasure it sent burning up his spine, sizzling under his skin until he was sure he'd render his husband to ashes.
It felt like each wave of heat was rushing through his veins with every pounding beat of his heart. He pulled from the kiss, another strand of saliva between them only this time he didn't care enough to notice it as he let out those small puffing breaths that raced back in only to fly right back out. He pulled back just enough to peel his lashes apart to find green eyes so close to his own staring right into his own.
Again, it was that silent dare for him to look away. He wished he could tell Hizashi that he couldn't look away even if he wanted to. He never could, there was no choice. He didn't want to be cliché and say that he'd been the blonde's from the first minute he transferred into the hero's course, but he had been absolutely struck by the vivid coloring, the genuineness in those green eyes even then.
They pierced through him in ways he didn't think possible. He'd never seen a kinder pair of eyes in his life. He loved them, he could never look away from them, and in this moment it felt like they were all he could see. Not the sweat rolling down the blonde's forehead and the sides of his face, the way his cheeks flared a deep red that matched his own with a radiating heat, nor the way his mouth was hanging open much like his own with those desperate little puffs.
He loved how wide those pupils were, how they seemed to devour every trace of the iris until they were mere rings of color and he loved how the blonde lashes framing them fluttered in those fast little blinks. Like he didn't want to blink for too long and miss something. He felt something squirming underneath him making him look down for just a second instinctively when he saw Hizashi's right hand peek out before the rest of his arm followed.
It was strangely uncomfortable to have an arm digging into his waist, a grunt leaving him at the sensation, only for him to twitch when he realized the hand's destination. He looked back up when the blonde stopped just inches away, those green eyes staring at him intently and he hoped to God that his gaze spoke the words he could scream out uselessly. His eyes squeezed shut as he cried out when the hand wrapped around his erection to stroke in time with his pounding rhythm, shaking under the pleasure that sizzled under his skin.
He was surprised, however, that Hizashi was strangling his sounds and keeping them as low as possible it seemed rather than releasing the ear-piercing moans he normally did. He wanted to tell him he could be as loud as he wanted, to let go and scream as much as he wanted too, but he knew it wouldn't make any difference tonight. He yelped when the blonde suddenly growled against his ear, his breath hot when he dropped his leg and flew forward releasing his erection in the same movement as he rolled on top of Shouta.
He could feel him digging his knees into the mattress but every part of him was pressed tightly to the bed, his heart hammering against his chest. He turned his head to press his cheek against the bed when the blonde planted his hands on the bed just above his shoulders. He was opening his mouth to speak, so his husband could read his lips hopefully, only for a wail came out of him as the man began pounding into him again with a new, determined pace that bounced Shouta against the mattress with the force behind it.
It was a ruthless, ragged pace that had his eyes rolling up as his lashes fluttered and he was gasping for breaths that felt compressed due to how tightly he was pressed against the bed. He wasn't going to last. He didn't have a hope or a prayer or a fucking wish of hopefully drawing it out to give Hizashi as much time as he could to get it out of his system. The force of Hizashi's hips pounding against him had him rubbing against the bed with each bounce.
And fuck, was his erection getting such an amazing friction from the blankets that he found himself wanting to grind against them. Wanted to give into what they begged to do with a twitch he couldn't stop. He could hear that God awful section of springs in their bed, the ones that they avoided rather successful any other time, beginning to squeak beneath him with the force hitting them. Was the bed actually bouncing now with him?
He knew sometimes, if they were in the right place and used just enough forward that sometimes it would slam the headboard of their bed against the wall. That was an experience all on it's own. He couldn't tell if the bed moved with him however. All he knew was he was being slammed so hard that he was bouncing and rubbing against the blankets as he couldn't stop himself from howling out as his husband panted above him.
He shivered when Hizashi moaned louder, each following moan growing louder, finally. The pitch was rising, faster and higher that he knew the blonde either couldn't stop himself from using his quirk or he was unable to really register it was kicking in, but he didn't care in the slightest bit. He could feel himself drooling openly against the blankets beneath his face, his cheek rubbing against the dampening fabric, and his skin was itching lightly with the sweat covering it.
Loved the rather lewd, quiet squelching of the lube with each thrust and the way their skin seemed to clap together in such a way that it sounded like their skin was sticking together each time. It was a deep, delightful sound that had him moaning so damn loud he was sure his vocal cords would be begging for a break again and he'd be back to sipping honeyed tea, but he'd endure it happily.
If it meant, even slightly, that after tonight Hizashi would forgive him then he'd endure anything. He gasped quickly only for it to fly out of him just as fast, his head swimming as he closed his mouth to swallow in an attempt to sooth how dry his throat felt, only for his mouth to drop open in a loud shout. He couldn't hold it off, he couldn't find a reason too hold it off, and he began squeezing himself around Hizashi who released a wail of his own that had his ears ringing painfully.
It even made the hearing aids rattle on the bedside table along with the glasses case. He didn't know how a pace could get harder, could go faster when it was already both of those things, but he could feel the urgency and desperation in each hit against him. Just that feeling alone made him whimper. He could feel his erection twitching, leaking against the sheets beneath him creating a wet patch that rubbed his skin, and the throbbing that felt just as eager as the rest of himself for the orgasm to build.
And that thought alone was making him gasp. He wanted to stop the sounds from falling out of him, his throat begging for no more. It begged but he couldn't stop himself from moaning out in that high keening way that matched Hizashi's. Even the guttural groans felt like too much for his vocal cords. They were growing tired, being overused in a way they hadn't since the choking and even then it had been two weeks ago, his throat still felt like it was recovering.
He didn't know how but it still hurt a bit to raise his voice to a shout. He could hear a hoarseness creeping in with the moans, the groans and even the whimpers that he knew if Hizashi could hear them would drive him wild. There was a reason, after all, that Hizashi always hovered around him when he was sick. His thoughts choked off when he felt the pounding thrusts of the blonde's slowing down.
He would have cried out had it not slowed in favor of focusing on the force rather than the speed. He gasped breathlessly as Hizashi pulled back and slammed forward in smooth gliding thrusts that had him crying out. It took a second for him to work up to a speed that was amazingly perfect while also delivering those thrusts that glided in and out, hitting onto his prostate with all his wroth and had his own hips hitting, rubbing against the sheets.
It was too much. Hizashi didn't even seem aware of the state he was in, making him wonder if he even cared at the moment. If he was indeed giving into the same greed Shouta had twice now. If he was helpless against taking what he wanted and his attention on getting himself to an orgasm the fastest way he could. His orgasm crashed over him out of nowhere it felt; he hadn't been focusing one bit on the creeping pressure in his groin, the tightening of his trembling thighs or the flexing of his stomach muscles at all.
He'd been so lost in his daze as he was pounded into roughly that when it did rip through him, he found himself screaming out so intensely his vocal cords couldn't handle it anymore. It broke off into a croaked, clicking sound as it strangled itself off in his throat as he twisted desperately against the sheets as his erection throbbed against the sheets. He couldn't find it in himself to be disgusted or upset he was coming onto the blankets or that it was smearing onto his stomach.
Couldn't care because finally he was reaching that point without having to do it by himself; he didn't need fantasy or memories to satisfy himself but rather he was getting the real deal and loving it. Loving it so much that he was snapping his mouth shut to cut off that croaking sound from his throat and pinching his lips together as he trembled against the bed. He was surprised when the blonde slammed forward in two rapid successions of the other, the twitching and throbbing telling him he was coming but the blonde was yanking his hips back.
Pulling out of him as fast as he could and his confusion quickly disappeared. He shivered when he felt the blonde's come landing on his lower back, the hot temperature making him gasp as the blonde groaned so loud, at such a pitch that he could hear the wedding picture they had above their bed rattle against the wall. He heard a distinct splintering sound, yet he couldn't focus on it as he felt the last bit of come land on his skin before the blonde was leaning backwards and falling onto the bed making it bounce violently.
It was strange how quiet it was in the absence of the previous sounds, that quiet being broken by their panting but even that didn't feel like enough to fill it. His fingers twitched as he stared at the movement, his hand so close to his face and still looking like a foreign thing as he focused on catching his breath. He felt absolutely sticky, both with the sweat that covered his skin and made his hair cling to his face along with the drool that had made his cheek wet from rubbing against the blanket beneath him.
The come, of course, was sticky and would only grow tacky the longer it cooled which made him groan as it prompted him to move. He didn't want to of course but he used his shaking arms to push himself up onto his knees. Hizashi. He needed to check on Hizashi. He turned slowly, crawling over his legs only to let him sway forward onto his side again next to the panting blonde who turned his head to look at him and it was like seeing a cloud shift from in front of the sun. He felt a burst of hope in his chest as he raised a single hand up to sign at his husband lazily.
Are you okay?
It took a moment for his husband to piece it together but when he did an equally lazy, slow smile tugged at the corner of his lips as his own hand raised to sign back. I'm perfect.
Did it work then? Do you feel any better? Do you think you got most of it out?
Yeah, I think so! Strangely enough I really do think that it helped! Like in a really weird way but also a good way I think? He paused then blinked at him before moving his hand in that same lazy way Shouta's had. I don't know what you said when I was behind you but was this okay? I didn't hurt your feelings at all did I? Did I got too far?
He couldn't stop the lazy laugh from huffing out of him, smirking widely at the blonde who raised his brows with a hum. He felt like a teenage girl revealing some kind of sex secret at a slumber party. The perfect amount of coyness and the urge to tease rolled through him as he shifted before signing back. That's the last thing you should worry about, Zashi. It did sting at first but everything after that was amazing, ten out of ten as you say. I loved it.
The blonde then got an interested glint in his eyes when he wiggled his brows at him, seeming to be going back to his playful self that Shouta adored. Awesome! So, now I have a follow-up request for you!
What?
Well, obviously it's my turn to pick our next too adventurous kinks, right?
Yes.
First, I want to say we're talking about them. Before we do them and if it's something we've never done then we need a LOT of information before doing something that sounds risky. Talk it out more than just bringing it up. Does that sound alright with you?
Of course. That's a rational decision and honestly something we should have been doing since the beginning.
Okay! But back to my request! Tonight is still you're pick, right?
Yes. Where are you going with this? You're all over the place, Zashi.
The blonde now rolled onto his side, his hair sliding to slither over his neck to dangle above the bed as his eyes glimmered at Shouta making heart jump and stumble over its beats. Well, if you're okay with it, I could put hearing aids in. And we could do this again. We don't really have a bed time given it's the weekend and you don't go on patrol until later around evening and I'll be heading off to the station at midnight like I always do.
Yeah? Again, where are you going with this, Zashi? It isn't making much sense. What are you getting at?
Well, Eri and Toshi are staying over the dorms for the weekend. It's just us until Monday. So I mean, is there anything stopping us from doing it again? Besides, neither of us said we had to do it one time and stop and it's never been a problem before! I mean with the Daddy thing we fucked like three times in one night! So what's really stopping us from doing this a few more times?
His breath hitched in as he fought the urge to squirm himself closer to the blonde. His feet instead rubbed and twisted together like he was some teenager talking to his crush over the phone for the first time and he bit his lip for a second as he felt a fresh wave of heat burn in his cheeks. Even the tips of his ears felt hot, and he looked down, letting his teeth slide over his lip until he was able to dig his canine tooth into the right side of his lip when he looked up from under his lashes.
He could see the effect it had on Hizashi who began squirming closer to him, inch by inch as he signed at him again. Nothing. Absolutely nothing is stopping us from doing that. The only question is, do you have the stamina and the energy to keep up with a slut like me?
Sho, it's me you're talking too! I think I can handle you! I've handled you for fifteen years all together and six of them have been me married to you! And besides I'm pent up! I really spent the past two weeks being fucking stubborn and ignoring you when we should've been working it out, should've just fucked it out of our systems with each other so much sooner! Though I have to say even slutty people have their limits which leads to the important question of can you handle it? I don't want you too zombified tomorrow, baby.
He let his lip slide free as the blonde's face came closer to his own, but he signed back before he could come close, so he could still see his answer. His lips parted with that familiar tingling though he knew they'd be absolutely swollen and puffy tomorrow morning. He let his lips curl up into a smirk as his right hand came up to tug the ponytail out of Hizashi's hair, twisting his fingers into it cupping the back of his head as he raised his left hand up to sign at his husband.
I can handle anything you throw at me. Now, come here, and tell me again how much of a slut I am and fuck me so hard I can't even remember my name, won't you?
He watched a mischievous light sparkle in his husband's eyes before they flamed at him with the heat they'd held earlier and he shivered as the blonde dropped his hand to grab his thigh yanking his leg up curling it around his waist, holding him close. He could feel his heart beating quickly against his chest, much like his own was, and he tightened his grip on those golden locks. He laughed when the blonde smiled widely at him with a wickedness that was just the right amount of playfulness.
And then the blonde shouted out, clearly unaware he'd done so, and yet it made him smirk widely. "Yes, sir!"