Sasha stared at her friend in shock as she told what had happened. It was a lot of information at once. They sat at a restaurant that had became the usual place to start their evening in. There was only one more day left to spend in the city of sin.
"Girl, I told you!" She called out in frustration, "You need to stay away from that man."
"I didn't know I would run into him," Michonne defended herself as she sipped from her glass of wine, "It's not like I planned it."
Sasha cocked an eyebrow, "Please."
Michonne rolled her eyes, "It's a big hotel. Do you think I would hit on a married man? No. I didn't know he would happen to be at the bar."
"That's not the point," Her friend crossed her arms, "You stayed. You entertain the thought over and over again when you sit down and spend time with him. Girl don't act stupid."
Michonne groaned, annoyed that her friend knew her too well.
"Just admit it. You like him. He is also very married. What are you going to do about it?"
Michonne narrowed her eyes at Sasha, "Absolutely nothing. Besides I never said anything about liking him, that is just your own conclusion."
"Michonne." She didn't look impressed with her answer.
Michonne complained back, "It's not that deep Sasha, it really isn't."
"Then why did you just explain to me in detail about the blue eyes and the way his hands felt against your neck," She repeated her words from earlier, mocking her playfully, "Just say it. You wanna fuck him."
She almost spat her drink out, "Sasha, stop it. It's not funny."
"It's not a crime to think about it." She shrugged, "I bet he is a freak in the bedroom. The whole neck thing, yep sounds freaky."
"I should have never told you anything." Michonne laughed at her friend, she knew how to take a joke.
"On a serious note," Sasha looked at her friend with a sad smile, "I want you to be happy and I'm glad that this woke something inside of you. Since everything went down with Mike, you just shut down."
Michonne couldn't argue with that one, she had been hurt in a way that made her numb and Mike being his complicated self didn't make the divorce process easy. He made sure it was hell for her every step of the way. He didn't fight for his family, he only fought for selfish reasons.
Sasha continued, "So, I'm happy that Sheriff Grimes managed to make you understand that there is more men out there and you just need to open your heart again. Just not to married men."
She was still confused as to what was going on between them. It was hard to process the last few days. They had been intense. Michonne wasn't stupid, she was very aware of the fact that they were teetering and dancing around a very dangerous thing. She wasn't going to be a homewrecker, not during this lifetime. His reckless behaviour didn't help though. There was mutual attraction, she knew that. His gazes didn't go unnoticed. The problem was, that it didn't bother her and she was disappointed in herself for it. She was very familiar with that type of gaze, usually she put a stop to men who looked at her like that. She would feel annoyed and made each one know that they were insignificant to her. Rick was different. His eyes didn't signal just lust. Their connection was powerful.
"Yeah, but like you said I need to stay away from him," Michonne stated, "Besides I already have a date planned for tonight, so no more Rick Grimes and his blue eyes. Marcus gets off work earlier so I asked him out."
"Marcus is a good guy," Sasha sipped on her wine, "Plus he is still fine as hell! I stalked his facebook, jesus christ what a man."
Michonne laughed at her, "He is, but I've learned my lesson. I don't want to waste my time with someone who isn't able to adapt to my life and Andre."
"Or you could just let loose and fuck him."
"Sasha," Michonne blushed, "You know you're terrible."
"I'm just saying, you're hot, he is hot, go get yours girl. You need it." She winked at her.
She rolled her eyes at her friend, "I'll have dinner first and we'll see how it goes."
Rick leaned his forehead against the tiled wall as the hot shower ran over him. He had gotten back, and sighed in relief as he noticed that all his friends were gone. They probably were out having time of their lives as he tried to fix this mess he had created.
His whole body felt tense, his muscles were stuck like his brain.
Her. He felt like he was drowning in the mixed feelings. He couldn't help himself, he thought about her all the time. This stranger had invaded his mind and it felt natural. Like he was supposed to think about her. He was like a broken record. First came the overwhelming guilt and then that guilt transformed into acceptance when he would spend time with her, until reality hit and he felt guilty all over again. Usually it got even worse.
His heart clenched at the thought of Lori. Why he never felt this type of longing for her. He tried to remember was it like this in the beginning, but he couldn't. They were surely in love all these years, he knew that, he loved her and their life, but how could have Michonne taken that space in his mind if Lori was all he wanted.
He shut his shower off and looked at his hand that was starting to bruise. Then he looked into the mirror. The corner of his eye was thankfully healing a bit better and maybe tomorrow when his family came they wouldn't be horrified over his appearance. He rubbed a hand over his face, his beard was getting out of control as he didn't have the energy to shave or maybe he just didn't care at this point.
He wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom. He looked at his phone and noticed how Lori had called a few times.
Shit, he forgot to call her.
He dressed in his dark jeans, and threw on simple black shirt. Nothing special since he didn't really plan on doing anything.
"Rick?" Glenn's voice came through the door as he knocked.
"Come in," He shouted back as he put on his watch, "I didn't know where you guys were so I came here to take shower."
Glenn walked into the room and immidately noticed his hand, "What the hell happened to your hand?"
He had told them that he went to organize stuff for the party, but he knew this lie was going to bite him in the ass since there was no hiding his bruised knuckles.
"You should see the other guy," He chuckled as he looked at his hand, like it was nothing, "I got into it with some jackass, but it's fine. Worked it out. Where are the guys?"
He wanted change the subject quickly.
Glenn was confused at his explanation, "Negan is at the Casino, trying to win his money back. Failing miserably though. Daryl is still on his date."
Rick nodded, he was glad that Daryl was getting something special out of this trip. Unlike him, he just had a massive headache over the confusion he was carrying around these days.
Glenn sat on his bed, he was worried for his friend, "Rick," he approached the subject carefully, "Are you alright?"
He looked at his friend, it was hard to explain everything he felt at the moment, "I'm fine."
"I don't know if you are," Glenn pressured him, "We are all worried about you."
Rick took a deep breath, he swallowed nervously as he sat next to Glenn, "Did you talk to Negan?"
"I didn't need to," He said, "I know you. You've been on the edge for the last few days and I think I know why."
He groaned, "I don't want to-"
"Talk about it, I know." Glenn cut him off, "You should. It's eating you alive."
He stared at his feet and asked him, "You think about Maggie all the time?"
His whole face brightened when he mentioned her name, "More or less, yeah I do. She is the center of my universe. Always has been and always will be."
Rick turned his gaze towards him, "I forgot to call Lori today. I promised her I would call in the morning and now it's almost seven o'clock. I remembered just now."
"Yeah, well accidents happen." Glenn shrugged.
"No," He felt ashamed, "I didn't care to remember. When we came here I thought I was happy and my life was what it was supposed to be. I don't know anymore."
"Rick," Glenn wanted to be supportive of his friend, "You have been through a lot the last few years. I know we don't talk about it, but I think all of us know how brutal it was. What Lori and Shane did, it caught everybody by surprise."
"Yeah and I thought I was fine," He shook his head like the memories and pain came back to him, "I love Lori. I forgave her, but..."
"You don't know if it's what you want." He finished for him.
It hadn't been easy for any of them. The drama that unfolded affected all of them. They were all friends with Shane. After everything happened Glenn knew Rick carried a lot of shame over it. He had no reason to be in his opinion, but they rarely even acknowledged Shane. It was easier to pretend nothing happened because it was messy.
"I'm a bad person," Rick got up, he was anxious again and started ranting, "I should have never talked to her. I should have never allowed my fucking head to think it was fine. Of course it was not fine, and now it's all I think about. Im gonna go home and fucking think about her when I don't even know who the fuck she is at the end of the day."
Glenn felt overwhelmed with his friends outburst, but tried his best to make him calm," I think you've known for a long time that what you and Lori have is practical. Unconsciously you've made your peace with it and it has been fine, until now."
"I know I love Lori" Rick murmured to himself. He closed his eyes as he walked in circles around the room.
"But are you in love with her?"
His eyes snapped open at Glenn's question.
Glenn stood up and took him by the shoulders, "You are not a bad person Rick, but you owe it to yourself to figure out what you really want. Either way I think it will work out. Life always does."
Rick nodded at him, he felt a little better as Glenn just had his way with words, "I see why Hershel favors you over everyone, even his own daughters."
Glenn chuckled over the mention of his father-in-law, "Well I am pretty adorable. There is no denying that."
Daryls palms were sticky with sweat as he sat across from Connie. They had been there a couple of hours already, but his nerves were still getting the best of him.
She wrote on the notepad and put it on the table for him to read, "I would have been fine with Wendy's"
He looked at the writing and smiled.
"Next time I will take you there." He spoke as he signed. Slowly, but surely he was learning.
Connie smiled back, and signed while moving her mouth, "Next time?"
"You think I would let you go home and forget about me? Daryl was grinning like an idiot, finally loosening up.
Connie smiled as she wrote on the notepad, "I'm glad I got lost at the strip club"
"Me too."
"We are leaving tomorrow." She wrote down with a sad smiley face.
Daryl grunted and signed, "Uh, I know. It sucks."
"You should come to Atlanta. I'll show you around."
Her face was filled with joy as he nodded when he read her written words.
He felt like it was the perfect time to let her know how he felt, "I hope you understand every word," He signed slowly, trying his very best to communicate to her in a way that she didn't miss a thing, "You are the best thing that has happened in a long time..."
She blushed at his words. She wasn't really used to men making the effort to get to know her.
"I think even my dog already loves you," he joked as he pointed at his phone, "And my friend Carol is hard to impress. You impressed her."
She smiled softly at him as he continued, "I hope you know how special you are."
Connie buried her face in her hands, she felt embarrassed by the compliments. She was like a little girl hiding from her crush. She took her pen and wrote something for him.
He stared at her, intensively, he felt scared because he feared rejection. She pushed the notepad infront of him and he read her message aloud, "You're a good man Daryl Dixon. I hope you know that. Thank you for your patience and kindness. I needed it more than you will ever understand."
He raised his eyes from the notepad and they locked eyes. Suddenly the whole world made sense to him. All these years of being a lone wolf and not needing anything else, but himself came to a stop.
"You want to do something crazy?" He asked with smile. She hadn't seen him like this before. It felt like he was finally able to trust that she was not just somebody who disappeared from his life.
She wrote on her notepad and turned the text for him to read, "You know I'm always down for a little crazy."
He smiled wider. The future didn't look so bad after all.
Michonne fiddled with her Cartier bracelet as Marcus talked. Her thoughts were all over the place and it was hard to concentrate. She was determined to try her very best. She wanted to forget about Rick. She wanted her heart to catch up with her brains. It was stupid. This man, who sat in front of him was interesting, sexy and driven. Everything she ever wanted. Why was she so stuck on this stupid cowboy who had the audacity to think she was a stripper when they met.
"You think I look like a stripper?" Michonne blurted out and caused Marcus to stop mid sentence.
"What?" He asked, confused as to what she was trying to ask.
"Nothing," She shook her head, trying to shake the thoughts away, "I'm sorry I've had a long day."
"It's fine," He assured her, "I get it. Las Vegas really takes the juices out of you."
"Yeah, something like that," Michonne glanced at her phone and changed the topic, "I'm waiting for Andre to call."
"How's the little man?" He cut into his steak.
"Stubborn and crazy about Spider man."
Marcus laughed, "Kids are the best."
She smiled at him. Of course he also liked kids, so there was basically nothing wrong with him.
"I have to admit," He told her, "I did some digging around the interwebs and I feel pretty intimidated by you. I mean hell, you've accomplished a lot compared to me."
"Stop it." Michonne played it cool.
"No I'm serious, is there a cape under that gorgeous green dress?" He joked around as he continued, "You're like a real life superhero. Mom, successful business owner and graduated top of her class. I feel like a peasant right now."
Michonne laughed. She didn't remember how funny he was.
"Mi lady," He joked as he took her hand and kissed it, "I feel honored you asked me to be your dinner date."
She pulled her hand back and laughed wholeheartedly, "Oh come on, mr.homicide detective you are not doing so bad yourself."
He finally saw the familiar twinkle in her eye and got excited, "Well I ain't a sheriff like your friend."
Michonne narrowed her eyes at him, "You've been talking to Vasquez?"
"I might have asked what's up with the silver fox." He said playfully, "I have to know what I'm up against."
Here we go again, talking about Rick Grimes, Michonne thought.
"Sorry to disappoint you, but sheriff Grimes is happily married." She sipped on her water as it was time to slow down with the wine, "So you have no opponent this time around."
"Seriously?" He was surprised, "Well he didn't look at you like a man who is married."
"Well he is married. I promise." Michonne snapped, annoyed with the topic.
Marcus was surprised at her loaded response, "I didn't mean to upset you."
"It's fine," She was trying to gather her thoughts and turn the conversation elsewhere, "Tell me about your job."
Marcus grinned as he started to explain something that she didn't pay any mind to. Her thoughts drifted elsewhere.
Rick breathed in the cool air and closed his eyes as he leaned over the railing. He didn't plan on going there, but a little escape after the serious talk he had with Glenn was needed. Somehow he always found himself in places that reminded him of her.
"My momma used to say stupid gets you killed."
He opened his eyes and turned his gaze towards the door. Michonne stood there, hugging herself as she stepped out into the refreshing air.
"Your mom was a smart lady." He said as he backed way from the railing and turned his back against it.
She walked next to him, but kept her gaze towards the view.
He noticed that she was even more put together this evening. Michonne was wearing a simple dark green silk dress that was like second skin on her. He wanted to make sure he was polite, but he didn't want to seem like an obsessive loser who had just taken the time to process what she was wearing, "You look good."
"You look better without the senior citizens shirt." She chuckled back and kept her eyes focused elsewhere.
"Ouch, you need to learn how to give out better compliments." Rick laughed, the mood was light this time around, like the intensity from before had magically washed away.
"Burn the boots and then we'll try again." She teased back.
Then the silence took over between them, but the city under them was alive and they could hear all those muffled shrieks of joy.
"I had my date tonight." Michonne announced, not really sure why it was news worthy. Like he would care.
He didn't really react, his voice was dry, "That was fast."
"I'm leaving tomorrow night so I figured I should ask or else it would not happen," She turned towards him, and realized he didn't need her explanations, "Tomorrow I'm just going to shop for Andre."
"Where is he staying?" He asked, genuinely interested.
"Actually Connies mom and dad," Michonne smiled, "They are like my other parents. Ever since my mom died, they kind of adopted Andre as their grandchild."
He could tell it was a tough subject, but wanted to ask anyway, "When did she pass?"
She swallowed, sadness taking over her face, "My dad died when I was a little girl. I don't even remember him. It was just the two of us for a long time. She worked two jobs, and saved every penny for my college fund.Then one day two years ago she woke up, had a stroke and that was it. No goodbyes, nothing."
"I'm sorry about that, sounds tough, " He kept his gaze on her as he tried to lighten the mood, "I'll borrow my mom if you want. You'll want to return her in a few days."
She laughed, "I bet she is a sweetheart."
He watched her as the colorful lights blinked in the background. She looked broken, and he was bothered by it. Underneath that tough exterior seemed to be just a little girl who missed her mother.
Rick reached for his phone and started typing a message. He suddenly felt the urge to write something very important.
She looked at him as he typed on his phone. She wanted to laugh because the way he typed was such a dorky dad way. His son must give him a hard time about that, she thought.
He lifted his gaze from his phone screen and locked eyes with her. He turned his phone around so she could see the text message he had written for his mom.
"Someone reminded me that I don't say it enough. I love you mom."
Michonne didn't want to get choked up, but she did. It was a gesture she didn't expect.
"Well now I feel shitty about calling out your boots." She joked, her voice hoarse from the emotions that took over her. She broke into a wide grin as her eyes held tears.
Rick smiled, and shyly looked at his feet, "I won't hold it against you."
"You are an idiot," Michonne muttered as she wiped away the tears that formed in her eyes, "Why did you have to do that?"
"What?" He asked innocently.
"I had a nice date!" She yelled out and glared at him, "I was not supposed to- ugh!"
She didn't even know how to articulate the rest of the sentence, instead she growled in frustration. He could tell she wanted to snap, probably throw her purse at him and curse him out for making her experience this undeniable connection.
"I'm gonna go." Just like that she detached herself from from him and the emotions she felt.
As she was turning away he took hold of her hand, "Wait, hear me out."
Michonne sighed, she didn't want to keep talking in circles. She also was very aware when she went to the roof he could be there. She actually hoped he would. Now she suffered the consequences. Her stubborn head wouldn't let it go and she was back to square one. .
"About earlier," He was unsure how to adress what happened in her room, "I'm sorry for being inappropriate. I should have never touched you like that."
"I didn't exactly tell you to stop either." She told him pointedly.
"I know," His voice was quiet, "I like talking to you and I ain't sorry about that."
"Rick," She said his name with irritation, "I think that's bullshit."
He raised his eyebrows, "How is it bullshit Michonne?"
"You've been flirting with me ever since we met each other," She finally said it because they both knew it was the truth, "I don't know what's up with you and how we got here, but I'm fucking tired of you acting like you don't know what you're doing."
"What? So you're saying I'm responsible for this?" He waved his hand back and forth, and pointing out the space between them.
"I dont know what this is," She waved her hand now between them, "You should have just told me to go. You are the one who is married, so you should have set the boundaries before this even became anything."
"It's not like I chose to meet you now! Where were you all this fucking time!" He blurted out while yelling. It just came out without any thought process behind it.
Michonne stood there frozen in her place. They just stared at each other. He couldn't walk away this time. He knew he was probably going to hell for this, but he didn't care anymore.
Rick took quick steps towards her, almost lunging at her.
"What are you-"
Michonne didn't have the chance to ask entirely when Rick claimed her mouth with his own. It felt like he growled against her as the kiss deepened. She didn't push him away, even though she had promised herself she would never find herself in this position. She couldn't help herself and returned the forceful kiss with as much passion. She could tell he smirked against her mouth when he realized she felt as desperate as he did.
This was bad.
He backed her against the door, now it was just raging lust. His hands roamed over her body, the silk felt like heaven under his fingertips. It took everything from her not to whimper at his touch. She pulled back suddenly, gasping for air, "We need to..."
"Stop." He breathed heavily, dropping his head in shame.
He released her from his grasp and pulled away, fighting with himself mentally as she fixed the hem of her dress that had hiked up.
She wanted to comfort him, but there was nothing she could say that would ease his guilt.
They didn't have a chance to say anything else to each other, when Michonnes phone rang. She searched for her purse, it had been tossed during the heat of the moment. He picked the purse up as it was closer to him. He handed the purse to her, keeping his distance like it would burn to touch her.
She couldn't look at him. Deciding there and now that this was something she would erase completely out of her mind. She would go home tomorrow and Rick Grimes was only going to be a bad memory.
Her phone kept vibrating, worry took over her as it felt like somebody was having an emergency.
Meanwhile Rick felt helpless. His mind was screaming at him, he had done the unthinkable, but at the same time it felt like he was on cloud nine.
"Yeah?" Michonne answered her phone, snapping back into her usual business savvy mode.
Rick watched as her expression quickly changed into shock.
"Are you kidding me!" She yelled out, absolutely horrified with what ever was the news, "That's insane!"
He walked closer to her, worried and curious with what had shocked her like that.
Michonne turned to him, her expression unreadable, she was still holding her phone, "Connie and Daryl just got married."
This was a longer chapter! thank you as always for reading and communicating your thoughts! Oh you thought it was complicated now... Wait and see haha.