It felt like her skin crawled. The mental image of them haunted her. It made her sick to her stomach. The more she thought about it, the more nauseated she became.
She had chain smoked for hours probably now. She tried her best to get some sleep afterwards, but there was no use. She wasn't stupid, Lucille didn't want to cause a scene when the kids were literally under the same roof. Unlike Rick, she had some morals left.
She could hear the door open, and her husband walked out into the sunshine. He could see it in her that something was seriously wrong.
Negan stared back at her as he carefully approached the table she sat at. He proceeded with caution because he didn't know if it was something that he did.
"Did you know?" She glared at him, anger in her eyes.
He was confused as to what she was getting at.
"Did you know about Rick fucking around?" Lucilles hands shook from anger as she held the cigarette tightly between her fingers.
His first reaction was to laugh at the absurd words out of her mouth. She kept glaring at him and he eventually understood she was actually serious.
"What?" He sat down next to her and thought about what she meant, "Vegas?"
"No, what do you mean Vegas?" She narrowed her eyes at her husband, "Rick and Michonne. I saw them and I heard them last night when everybody else was asleep. They were out here having a moment."
"Nah," Negan couldn't believe it, "You were probably just drunk out of your mind and had a dream. Don't fucking play around like that."
"Negan," She said his name like he was not hearing her, "I fucking saw it. I heard them. Rick is cheating on Lori. Judging by your reaction she was the mysterious kiss in Vegas."
"She was, but it happened only once to my knowledge," He had a hard time processing her information this early when he was practically still half asleep, "What were they doing?"
Lucille tossed her cigarette and sighed, uncomfortable with the topic, "They kissed. Right there on the front porch."
Negan swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. He was indeed shocked that Rick, his friend, who was infuriatingly honest and a good guy was capable of such deception. He knew that Rick had formed a liking to Michonne. He knew it the moment they had met her, but he never imagined they would end up here.
"What else?" He asked, terrified of what she would tell him.
"Ugh," Lucille grimaced as she had to recap the whole thing, "They were basically fucking around in the garage earlier and then he got spooked, so he stopped it. She told him it was over and he fucking fought for her. Can you believe that? Rick actually wants her, I guess."
Negan felt conflicted. He knew Rick and Lori were done years ago. They were basically roommates for the longest time. The connection had just sizzled out. He never wanted to say anything directly, not even in Las Vegas. He hoped he would figure it out on his own. This wasn't exactly how he hoped it would go.
"I didn't know." Negan sighed as he thought about the kids, "You know I would never purposely hurt Carl and Judith. If I knew and kept it from everyone, that's hurting them, so yeah, I didn't know."
This brought up a lot of bad memories for Lucille. She remembered the feeling instantly, betrayal that cut this deep never healed. She felt the urgent need to protect her closest friend.
"I need to tell Lori. Soon as she wakes up I'm telling her."
He paused, "No."
She was irritated enough as it was, "What do you mean?"
"Let me handle this with Rick first, " He insisted, "We don't know everything, let me talk to him and try to make it right."
Lucille shook her head, stubbornly, "He doesn't deserve a chance to explain Negan."
"I mean are you surpised it came to this? Jesus Christ the man found out that his wife lied to him for years. He had a full blown manic episode when he found out about Shane in the first place." He reminded her.
Her face fell, and she tried her best to keep her composure.
"What?" Negan noticed her body language.
"Rick doesn't know about Shane and Lori talking behind his back." Lucille finally said it out loud, "Lori just told you what you needed to hear."
He had to double check what he was hearing. His whole face stiffened, "You lied to me."
"Negan."
"No," He snapped back, "I asked you when we came back from Vegas is there something I need to know because I was the one who convinced Carl to drop it. You told me I knew everything."
"I promised Lori." Lucille exclaimed.
"Y'all are like snakes in the grass," He looked at her, mad as hell, "You realize how fucking big of a lie that is? You made me lie to them both!"
"And Rick fucking around isn't big?" She slammed her hand on the table, "Is it somehow justified? Just because Lori made a mistake, you think he has the right to hurt her like this. The texts were casual, I've seen them. Rick is having an full blown love affair. You realize how humiliating this is? She is sleeping inside and her husband is trying to score on the porch. It's disgusting. It's sickening."
"I'm not saying it's right," His voice was still groggy from the night before, "But you know Rick. He is not a bad guy. I don't know what's going on with him, but I don't want you to meddle into their business and then we end up losing the kids over this."
She knew in her heart how much he cared for the Grimes kids. Negan had tunnel vision when it came to Carl and Judith. They were his number one priority, but sometimes it felt like they were more important than his own wife.
"Rick will have his judgement day. I promise. Let's just do this in a way that the kids aren't home to witness it all."
She knew he was right about it, she didn't like it, but he was right, "One condition."
"What's that?" He asked, this was like an odd negotiation.
"You don't tell him about Shane. If Rick gets to plan how to air out his dirty laundry so will Lori."
He sighed, giving in, "Fine."
"Tell him he has until tomorrow, if he doesn't tell Lori himself then I will." She looked at her husband with a sullen expression.
Negan cursed in frustration as he walked back inside the house, "What a happy fucking morning this is."
Lucille hugged herself as she silently thought about the options in front of her. She could do what they agreed on or she could choose to do what her wild heart wanted.
"And stop fucking smoking!" He yelled from inside.
Michonne felt like she didn't get any sleep. It all just kept replaying in her head. Rick didn't make anything easy. After their late night talk everything was out in the open again. She had decided this was the end of it, but of course he had to challenge her and the confusing feelings surfaced. It was a kiss that she hadn't experienced before. She couldn't get it out of her head.
"You ready to share yet?" Sasha sat on the bed next to her. She could sense her energy. Michonne was definitely nervous.
She looked over at her friend and it all came out like word vomit, "We almost fucked in the garage and then kissed again on the porch when everybody was asleep."
Sasha gasped, "What!"
Michonne pulled the blankets over her head, "Now I'm stuck here with his family and friends. And Andre is here. And I'm such a bad mom."
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself," Her best friend pulled the blankets away and tried her best to keep her voice down, "What the hell is going on?"
"I don't know," She sighed, tired of hashing out the same scenarios over and over again, "I can't help myself."
"Michonne," Sasha usually had good advice but this mess was far more complicated than she ever anticipated it to be, "He is married. Do I need to spell it out to you?"
She rolled her eyes, "Jeez that's brand new information Sasha."
She didn't want to sound harsh, "he has two kids. He has a life here, you think he is serious about this?"
Michonne didn't know what to say.
"I didn't think it was this... intense." Sasha cringed at the whole thing, "You know it's going to get ugly fast when this blows up in your face."
She didn't want to admit that she was stuck in a situation that was very hurtful and morally wrong, it went against everything that she believed in, "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."
"Now what? You're going back to Atlanta again and pretend this never happened?" Her best friend knew her way of thinking way too accurately.
"Sasha, I really don't know. I feel like everytime I try to keep my distance he pulls me in and each time it's deeper. I know, he has a wife and a family. It's not like I'm expecting this to go somewhere." Michonne thought aloud.
"Is Grimes expecting this to go somewhere then?" She didn't like the man, he was all over the place and now he had dragged Michonne down the same rabbit hole.
"I... I don't know." Michonne bit her lip as she dodged her questions.
Sasha tried to be the voice of reason, "You need to remove yourself from this whole thing asap."
Just as she was about to answer, Andre burst inside the room with an excited laughter and jumped on their bed, "Momma!"
"Good morning baby." She greeted her son with a big kiss.
"Momma guess what!" He was full of energy as he jumped up and down.
"Yeah?" She felt nauseous as she watched her son, "Baby please don't jump around. This is Daryls bed we don't want to break it."
He sighed and plopped down, "Judith told me I could go with her to the police station and see real police cars."
Sasha looked at Michonne and mouthed "hell no"
Well of course Ricks daughter wanted to spend time with her son. That wasn't awkward at all.
Before she could interject, there was a knock on their doorway, Rick and Judith stood there, "Hope we are not interrupting."
Michonne adjusted her hoodie and kept her eyes on her son. She could feel him stare and the electricity between them start up again.
Sasha pulled her hoodie over her tank top and got up from bed, this man was exhausting. He was so thirsty.
"There is breakfast downstairs," The little girl smiled, and then looked at Michonne, "Can Andre come with us?"
"Uh..." She felt stuck.
"I have to run to the office for some stuff, Judith and Andre heard..." Rick scratched the back of his neck nervously, "They wanted to come with me. It's fine for me, but I told them they needed to ask his mom."
"Can I go?" Andre asked her, his brown eyes sparkling with anticipation, "I promise I will listen to Sheriff Grimes. I really, really wanna see what it's like at a real police station."
The room was silent as the kids stood there thankfully innocent and oblivious.
"I don't know Andre," Michonne cleared her throat, "I was hoping we could spend the whole day with aunt Connie before going back home tomorrow."
The kids whined, Andre frowned, "Momma I'm sorry, but I see you and auntie Connie all the time. I don't see a police station all the time."
His reasoning made her laugh.
Rick shrugged, "The kids got a point."
She shot him a look, she didn't want him putting his two cents into this. He just sort of smirked back. Sasha watched the palpable chemistry happen right in front of her. Michonne tried her best to keep everything under wraps.
"Listen. I don't mind. I'll look after him, it will only take a few hours." He leaned against the doorframe.
"Oh I bet you don't mind." Sasha smiled innocently at him.
Rick glared back and squeezed Judiths shoulder, ignoring her remark, "If you don't trust me, trust Judith."
"Yeah!" She smiled, the girl seemed to always be happy and smiling.
Michonne looked at the three of them and nodded reluctantly, "Fine."
"Thank you momma!" Andre leaped into her arms, her little arms grabbing her neck. She glanced at Rick, and he nodded back. It was once again a silent agreement, whatever this was, the kids always came first. This wasn't all dirty and wrong.
"Dad," Carl walked towards them, "I need fifty bucks."
It was getting crowded outside their room. Sasha wondered if these people had any idea what boundaries were.
Rick looked at the teenager with suspicion, "For what?"
"Bunch of us are going out to the lake later," He explained, "You can rent a paddle board and stuff. They only take cash."
"Fifty bucks?" Rick laughed, "Is the board made out of gold? what kind of price is that?"
"Daaad," He rolled his eyes at his lame joke, "Mom didn't have any cash, she promised you would give it to me."
"Carl, I don't have any cash with me right now besides it's-"
"I'll give it to you," Michonne hopped off the bed and walked up to her purse, "I always have some cash."
"No, you don't need to." Rick shook his head at her.
She pulled out her wallet and walked up to Carl, "Here. There's seventy bucks. Get something to eat and don't drink or smoke anything."
He was flustered as he gladly accepted her money, "Cool. I mean thanks. You didn't have to."
"Well your dad is watching Andre, so we'll just make this his babysitting payment, right?" Michonne smiled at the teenager and patted Ricks arm playfully. She quickly withdrew her hand away, like it stung to touch him in front of people.
He picked up on her distant demeanor and hoped she had thought about what he said the night before. She avoided his eyes and focused on Carl. Carl smiled widely and thanked her once more before running downstairs with his phone in hand.
Sasha stared at them with serious conviction. Rick could sense that she was probably up to speed with everything.
"Well what do we have here," Negan stopped by this time and stood next to Rick, "Don't you all look all cozy in here."
Michonne crossed her arms awkwardly.
Rick swallowed, "Yeah, we were just about to leave, I'm taking the kids to work. So Andre can see the station."
Negan looked at Michonne then back at Rick, "That's fun. Like a little playdate."
She felt like he was insinuating something, but decided to brush it off. He on the other hand just stared at his friend, keeping on a straight face.
"Well cowboy I think I might join you," Negan looked pointedly at him, "I need to get some distance from that thorn in my side."
"Are you and Lucille fighting again?" Judith looked at him judgingly, "You should be nicer to her."
Negan kissed the top of her head, "I was just kidding, don't worry about it. She is my queen and always will be."
Judith nodded, "Good. You hurt her, I'll kick your ass."
Andre snorted like her mom did when she laughed loudly. Rick looked at Judith, "Language."
She shrugged, "Sorry. It's his fault."
Negan accepted the blame, "Yeah the kids got me there. I taught her too well."
Rick just shook his head at them and looked at the little boy, "We better get going before your mom changes her mind."
"I'll text you." Michonne quipped him casually.
Sasha shot her a look and she corrected quickly, "I'll text you about Andre."
"We'll be just fine," Rick assured her, "Come on kids."
Andre hugged her goodbye and she could hear his complex questions to Rick echo through the house as they left. She closed the door to their guestroom and exhaled a sigh of relief.
"Well you handled that like a pro." Sasha chuckled sarcastically.
Rick could sense it. Negan was up to something. The whole ride to the station he didn't talk to him, only to the kids. It was like he was avoiding him.
When they were walking inside, Rick purposely walked a little behind from the kids as he waited for his friend to approach.
And he did.
"We need to talk in your office," Negan said quietly, not batting an eye, "It's bad."
Rick narrowed his eyes at him, "Whatchu mean?"
He looked back at him in a way that he had never seen before. He couldn't read him.
Rick walked inside with the kids in tow and greeted everyone, he called Aaron to him, "This is Officer Monroe," he introduced him to Andre, "Andre here is our honorary guest and he wants to see our station. I'll leave you guys with him while I do a couple of things. He is one of our best."
Aaron smiled at the kids and greeted Judith with a familiar high five, "You can call me Aaron. And I'll be happy to show you all the best stuff here."
"Can I see the jail!" He asked excitedly.
"We'll see about that." He laughed and took the kids with him.
Rick and Negan continued their way into his office. Soon as the door closed Negan revealed, "You're fucked."
"What?" He was so confused.
"I told you to ignore it, but you had to be a stubborn asshole about it," Negan sat on his desk, "Now here we are with a rope around our necks and no way out."
"Negan, I don't have time for your conundrums, just spit it out." Rick was on the edge.
"Lucille saw you with the forbidden fruit," he groaned, "Why'd you have to go do that in public man, a little discretion goes a long way."
He could feel his stomach drop, "It was not-"
"Oh cut the crap already. You are banging her. I'm not judging she seems like a tight piece of-"
"Negan." Rick warned him.
"All I am saying is, I get it I've been there, but jesus christ you could have told me. I could have helped you. Now you got my Lucille all mad and ready for war."
Rick wasn't really freaking out, it surpised even himself. Maybe this was easier this way. He had to face Lori and confess. There was no going back anymore.
"I didn't plan it to happen," Rick walked behind his desk and sat in his chair, "If I had realized earlier I would have done something about it. I know, It's cliché, but it just happened."
Negan turned enough to look him in the eye, "So it's not just sex."
"There isn't sex at all," He told him in a very direct manner, "I'm not saying there hasn't been any intimacy or... chances, but it's not about that."
"It's still a vibe then?" He thought back to the conversation they had in Las Vegas, "You told me you couldn't pin point what it was, but I think you know. I've known you for a long time and sneaking around with another woman for shits and giggles is not your style."
He tossed his head back and stared at ceiling, "When we were still in Las Vegas, I talked to Glenn about this and he asked me if I was in love with Lori. It's been nagging me ever since."
His friend listened closely as he got everything off his chest.
"I think about it every night before I close my eyes," His voice was quiet, "I think about when we got married, when Carl was born, when Judy was born. All those weekend trips when the kids were smaller, all the laughter and the family dinners and... I just don't know where it all disappeared. I think I kind of lost myself somewhere along the line. This job took me and I ran with it. Then the whole thing with Shane.. It sucked the life out of our marriage."
"Yeah I get it, but everything isn't sunshine and laughter," Negan reasoned, "Look at me and Lucille. Sometimes she is a miserable witch, but I'd take her over any other woman."
"But it should be," Rick concluded, "I feel different when I'm with Michonne. I'm not saying this is going to turn into a relationship, but I tried, believe me, I tried to keep it casual. I tried to keep the distance, but it just got out of hand. I never wanted to hurt Lori."
"The shitty thing is you already did," He grimaced over what he was about to drop on his lap, "And the other shitty thing is you're not the only one."
"Huh?" He snapped back to reality and looked at his friend, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I hate how natural this comes to you." Michonne signed at Connie who was brushing Dogs fur on the porch.
"It's not my fault he adores me." Connie signed back as she pet the dark dog who was now like Connies shadow.
Michonne felt ashamed. She was scared of everything unraveling in a way that it hurt the ones she loved. Connie being one of them. This was everything Connie ever wanted and she should have never allowed herself to be sucked in like this. It was hard being someones secret. It just wasn't their time.
"I don't want to lie to you," She started as she took a deep breath, "There is something I need to tell you."
Connie was concerned, she could tell it was serious. She set the brush aside and took her friends hand, "What?" She signed and looked deeply into her eyes.
Michonne tried to form the sentences inside her mind before spelling them out to her and saying them out loud. It was difficult because it affected her and Daryl.
"Me and Rick," She looked around and made sure they were alone, "Crossed a couple boundaries and it's better if I don't come to the wedding. It's better if I just leave and we don't see each other for awhile. We need space from each other. I don't want any drama for you or Daryl."
She had exhausted herself with this back and forth. After their last kiss on the porch she truly understood how hard it was to deny him. It was hard to say no. It was hard to be around him while yearning his affection. It just messed her brain chemistry in the worst possible way. He didn't know she had made up her mind again, but this time she was not letting him change it. She made him no promises last night.
Connie wasn't shocked. She squeezed her hand and nodded. Her eyes welled with tears because she understood how bad it was for her. She just knew.
"I don't want you to be sad," Michonne signed and smiled, "I want you to really enjoy this and I'm sorry I can't be here to see you start the next chapter in your life."
The door opened suddenly, interrupting them and Kelly walked out, "Dude how long was I out?" She yawned and sat on the porch swing, "I don't know how these southern folks drink this much, but I'm feeling it right now."
Both Connie and Michonne smiled at her and then looked at each other. Connie squeezed her hand once more before letting go. It was an comforting squeeze, the type that signaled they were good. They always would be.
"You were asleep before the kids." Connie teased her sister who made a face at her in return.
"You leaving tomorrow?" Kelly looked at Michonne.
She nodded, "Maybe even tonight. I don't mind driving during the night. Andre is used to it."
"Me and Sasha arranged our schedule so that I can stay and help these crazy fools," Kelly pointed at her sister and Dog, "At least until the wedding."
"Yeah, I'm not sure if I'm coming," Michonne sighed sadly, "I have too much to do at the office."
Connies face didn't falter at the lie she told, she knew it was personal and she didn't want to explain the crazy situation to another person.
Michonne was glad she was at peace with the decision she made. It was better this way. Suddenly her phone rang. Speak of the devil. it was Rick.
She stepped away for some privacy and answered, "Is Andre okay?"
"He is fine," He spoke quickly, his breathing was faster, he was clearly upset, "Listen. You should go back to the hotel. I'll bring him to you."
"Why?" She was confused and didn't like being told what do.
She could just picture him pacing around his office, "Lucille knows. Everything."
Her eyes widened in shock, "How?"
"She saw last night," she could tell Rick was agitated, "Just go okay? she promised Negan she wouldn't speak to Lori, but just in case. I don't want you to be there alone."
She didn't understand the urgency in his tone, she was a grown woman and could handle anything on her own, but she decided not to argue with him as his world crashed down.
"How are you?" She looked at her feet as she walked back and forth on the lawn. She couldn't help herself. She had to ask.
He paused, and then answered, "I'm not good."
His voice was hoarse, it seemed like there was more to this than he told her.
"What else?" Michonne dared to ask. She was worried for him.
Rick swallowed and chuckled bitterly, "Lori, she lied about something and I, well I'm kind of losing my mind over it."
They way he sounded made her nervous. He seemed lost. He didn't sound like himself. Clearly, everything was about to explode. Michonne could feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand up at the thought.
"Don't do anything you'll regret, " She didn't want to leave anything unsaid when he seemed to be on the edge, "I'm here if you need to talk. Just, don't do anything stupid."
He took a deep breath, "Can we talk face to face? I need a friend right now."
"Yeah, of course, I'll wait for you two at the hotel," Michonne agreed, she could just feel his raw pain through the phonecall, "I'll get going right away."
"Thanks." He said simply before ending the phonecall. Before she had the chance to catch her breath, she could hear the door open again. Shit, she thought.
Lori and Lucille stepped out on the porch, but she couldn't read the situation. Each step they took, another drop of sweat dripped down her back. Lucille looked at her then, there was a glare filled with judgment. Lori suddenly made a beeline towards her. Yeah, this was definitely it. She was going to have to face the consequences for her actions.
Lori stopped in front of her and looked her dead in the eye, "We need to talk."
Dun dun dun. Hey beautiful people! All aboard the crazy train because this is going to be a hot mess.
And yes, Aaron is a Monroe, just because, I like the way it rhymes and truthfully I wasn't sure what Aarons last name even is...
Thanks for the love. Until next week!