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Chapter 80

Mail From La Push


Edward


"Female issues," I added, still explaining, while Jake contorted his face.

He was worried about his sister, whose grief had not escaped him, of course. However, he had simply explained her strange mood as a bad day. Girls just. They were strange sometimes. But the fact that we were now in the loop and obviously worried made it clear to him that it wasn't just a whim. He considered strained what might be going on with his sister.

"I don't think you really want to know all the details!" I replied to his thoughts.

Bella, at Jake's panicked yelling, took the spice shaker away from me when I tried to season the Bolognese sauce.

I had overdone it just once! How long would that stick with me?

I rolled my eyes in offense and set the table with Jake instead, when he then thought of something.

Leah had been thinking about general changes while running this morning, but she was very concentrated on making sure Jake didn't figure out what exactly was bothering her.

Now he put everything together.

'Is Leah pregnant?' he asked cautiously in his thoughts.

"No, Jake. She's not pregnant, but she's assumed she was. And that's what worried us a bit," I explained, which didn't help him, though. "She suspected it not without reason," I set him in the right direction, and now explained the more detailed circumstances after all.

He nodded. He had understood.

"She can be happy if she doesn't have her period anymore. It's disgusting!" Jake stated for himself.

He contorted his face … and was once again glad to be of the male gender.

"If Leah doesn't have a cycle anymore, she won't be able to have children either ... Eventually!" I explained and one could see Jake slowly understanding the full implications of the situation.

He was concerned and felt sorry for his sister.

"I was on the phone with Sue earlier to ask her if maybe she heard of this happening from her Leah," Bella said.

Sympathetically, Jake asked what Sue had said then.

I had sent a message to Leah that dinner was ready, and she came through the door with Carlisle just as Bella and I were spreading the pots on the small table. We were already running towards the two of them.

"So?" asked Bella immediately, taking Leah's hand.

But Leah appeared more or less relaxed.

"Leah is in perfect health. There doesn't seem to be any medical reason for her lack of menstruation," Carlisle said. "I'm afraid I can only assume it has to do with the wolf itself ... Jake, if you don't mind, I'd like to get a sperm sample from you sometime. If the female wolves can't have children while the gene is active, maybe then the males can't father children," Carlisle was still explaining, and Jake blushed, embarrassed, and tripped over a chair he had missed.

I chuckled.

"I don't think that will be necessary," Bella smirked, reassuring her son by doing so.

But Carlisle and I looked at her questioningly.

I thought such an investigation made sense and was conclusive. Why didn't Bella see that?

"If wolves couldn't father children, I wouldn't have children!"

Then, during dinner, I told them about the phone call with Sue. That she would send us with various blood samples and extensive records.

Carlisle was already excited and couldn't wait.

Leah asked why there would also be samples from Sue and Billy.

"They carry the gene inside them, but it was never activated."

Jake ran to Becky afterwards, playing hot water bottle, while Leah drove home with us. She was healthy, so her mood was getting better. However, the uncertainty still tugged at her and made her nervous. But for now, we could only wait until the blood samples were here.


Saturday morning

three days later


When I first brought Bella to this house, yes, we had come up with the lovely plan that we would be in Saco during the week and here on the weekends. Alone, of course. However, today was the first time this plan had really worked, after we were together again, already for four dreamlike and very exciting weeks. The first weekend in which no 'unannounced' visitor – possibly including family - appeared. I had picked Bella up from work yesterday and had driven here with her immediately. We had told everyone - or should I say 'threatened'? - that we only wanted to be disturbed in urgent emergencies. End of the world, for example.

And now the breathtaking evening was already over.

We had conjured up a delicious dinner together for Bella, listened to music and 'argued' about it, reconciled in the Jacuzzi, let the open fire dry us and made love half the night until Bella fell asleep in my arms. Undeniably one of the most beautiful evenings of my entire existence.

It was almost noon when I sat at the piano in my bathrobe and Bella, no more clothed than I, sat facing me on my lap, nibbling on her croissant. I played our new song behind her back while my lips covered her neck with delicate butterfly kisses. I had finished composing the song - it ended with a thunderous feeling of bliss – but had not finished playing when my cell phone beeped. (Yiruma - Rivers Flows in You)

Bella leaned away from me pouting, climbed off me and went to the window.

"What are you looking for?", I asked.

"The apocalypse!" my angel muttered pretending to be angry.

I walked over to her and hugged her from behind.

"Anything to see yet?" I asked curiously.

"No!" she hummed.

I gave her a kiss on the temple and went to my cell phone.

No one would dare disturb us unless it was important. And as I saw, it was. More or less, at least.

Leah wrote that mail had arrived from La Push and she had already taken it to Carlisle.

This would make my angel happy if Sue had really thought of the pictures.

So I told Bella and we got dressed after all.

That we had not actually planned for today so necessarily.


After she complained about my running pace once again - I was in a hurry to get to that package - I pushed her kissing through Carlisle's front door, across the hall and on into the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" asked Bella between our kisses, when she saw who was already sitting there.

Of course, with well-filled plates in front of them.

"Our parents disappeared and just let us starve!" Jake accused us.

"So, we just had to see where we could get something to eat!" complained Leah.

"That's terrible indeed," I confirmed their opinion extremely indignantly.

"A case for Child Protective Services!" mumbled Bella, not letting it stop us from kissing.

Or for animal welfare, I still thought.

"I also think so ... I think we'll give ourselves up for adoption," Leah then considered further.

"Mmm ... mmm ... It can only get better!" Jake affirmed.

"More time for us!" I whispered to my angel and she nodded conspiratorially.

This now apparently was the straw that broke the camel's back, and we were pelted with some decorative fruit.

Only now did we greet our children, as was appropriate however. Bella gave them both a kiss on the cheek and I on the forehead.

Jake said Carlisle was already upstairs with the blood and notes and the small package sat in the room next door.

Mentally, he added that he had the ring. My mother's engagement ring. He guessed correctly that I didn't want to let Bella find it just like that in the package.

Immediately, Bella ran over and got it while Jake quickly handed me the small jewelry case.

She was quite excited and amazed about everything that had been hidden under the floorboard. And she was angry again about how often the creaking of the floorboard had annoyed her and she was always on the verge of tearing it out herself. Not only the pictures of the two of us, also all the other mementos. Her birthday presents, a copy of 'Romeo and Juliet' in which we had read together, tickets from a concert we went to, my CD, a plastic rose from a fairground and other little things.

Bella picked up the small tattered booklet at hand.

"O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art as glorious to this night, being o'er my head, as is a wingèd messenger of heaven unto the white, upturnèd, wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy-puffing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air", I whispered the original text and turned to this very page where I had once changed the text to record my own words for my very own Juliet.

She read:

"Oh, speak again, my angel! For as enchanting like you are, your delightfulness, your honesty, your lovable nature, all enclosed by your wonderful skin, your wild curls, your sparkling eyes, underlined by the melody of your heart, the sound of your voice. You can only be an angel sent to me to make me see the meaning of this world."

In my arms, she turned to me, a small tear in the corner of her eye.

"Oh Romeo," she replied and I took her tightly in my arms.

Yes, I was perfectly happy.


Unfortunately, word had spread quickly that Bella and I were not waiting for the end of the world however.

Rosalie came soon. She had given herself an Aston Martin DB5 - James Bond's first company car - for her birthday, which she restored with great dedication.

Bella inadvertently asked how she was progressing with this, which Rose immediately explained in detail.

Alice was already swirling around Leah. In terms of fashion, Leah was a more grateful victim for her than Bella.

Jake and Emmett went to the billiard room. His friends would play a little billiard tournament among themselves in town today, and Em would show him a few tricks.

After Rosalie disappeared to her workshop, Jasper hogged Bella with a game of chess and Esmé scurried around the house as usual, cleaning, decorating, tiding up or rearranging or whatever else she could think of when she couldn't spoil the twins and Bella.

So, everyone was kind of busy. I sighed, partly happy - because we were a family - partly a little offended - because I was now standing alone in the kitchen - and went to Carlisle.


I was surprised.

It wasn't just the expected little tubes Sue had sent us, it was a well-filled unit of blood each, carefully labeled.

Carlisle had already initiated the first tests and was now sitting over the notes.

"Any insights yet?" I asked, but I wasn't expecting an answer so soon.

"That Sue is a very conscientious woman," Carlisle noted, impressed.

He handed me some of the sheets from a thick folder.

I understood what he meant. I had the 'wolf profile' of Sam Uley in my hand, with pictures as a human and a wolf. Besides the respective dates of the first and last transformation into a wolf, it included, among other things, the origin of the wolf gene, external features in animal form, special incidents such as severe injuries or other extraordinary events that were due to the wolf, character traits and whether, and to what extent, they would have changed as a result of the transformation, the course of accelerated adolescence, the changes after the last transformation and many other things.

Sue was truly very thorough.

I flipped through the folder.

I was looking for a particular wolf. Jacob Black.

I went across to the library and dropped down on the lounger.

For a long time, I viewed the enclosed photos of him before turning to the unnatural resume.

So many times, I had seen him through the thoughts of others, had even met him fleetingly myself, but before he had joined the pack as a wolf, but it was only now that I noticed that Jake had his father's eyes and that the twins took after him a lot overall.

I read very carefully.

Seth had definitely not exaggerated when he had told about this man two weeks ago. Man? I had to remind myself that he had been just sixteen years old on the day he died. He really had been the perfect wolf. That's what I took from these records, which I didn't believe Sue had embellished or exaggerated.

But they also gave me food for thought.

The same thing had happened to him as to me. In a word, Bella! We both had problems to accept ourselves as that what we could not change. But both of us would have put up with a lot to change it. He the wolf, I the vampire. Only when Bella entered into both our lives, gifted us her love and affection, we accepted the monster in us and controlled it better than before. Only then were we in harmony with our environment. With Bella at his side, the power of his bloodline became obvious. The fact that he was stronger and bigger than the other wolves were only the most obvious differences. Sam trusted Jacob's opinion and did so without reservation. He seemed to think of things that Sam himself had not sufficiently considered, but he was considerate enough never to question Sam's instructions in front of the pack so as not to undermine his authority. He was capable of leading a pack of this size and only because of Bella had he refused. Strictly speaking, Sam had carried out or carried on Jacob's orders at the end, but he did not let the pack know that. Jacob was loyal, stuck to his decision, and also never let Sam feel directly that he sometimes thought he was a better Alpha wolf than Sam.

I indulged in my thoughts, thoughts about Jacob Black.

We were very different characters and still I kept coming across little parallels between us. Bella connected us. Again the question arose in me, how our life would look like today, if he had not died through my fault. I doubted very much that Bella would then be mine today. And I would have no children.

My eyes burned painfully at this idea of not having my family around me.


"This is where you've been hiding!" noted Bella with a smile as she walked through the door.

She sat down next to me and gently stroked my face with her tingling fingers, continuing to run them over my T-shirt as she noticed my mood.

"You look brooding ... What are you thinking about so hard?" she asked lovingly and I pointed to the sheets of paper lying upside down on the small table next to me.

Bella paid no attention to the detailed explanations, but seemed to be lost in the images of Jacob. Her gaze blurred.

"You have quite an impact on the people who love you unconditionally!" I gently stated.

She smiled faintly.

"Are you thinking about what it would be like today if Jacob were still alive," she asked.

I nodded.

She looked at the photo again and apparently began to think about it herself.

"I imagine that I would not have a chance at you if Jacob were still alive. I would never have knocked on your door, no matter where that front door was. If I had returned that time, we would have fought and competed very hard and relentlessly against each other for your love ... and I would have lost," I said sadly, truly convinced of this.

What did I really have to offer her? Nothing. Money, which didn't interest her, and an eternal life, which I didn't want to do to her. On the other side stood Jacob Black. A person who could give her everything. A life, children, a family and friends she would never have to leave.

"I can't give you an answer to that," she admitted. "I don't think that you are right, though. Yes, I loved Jacob, and I still do today, but it never had that inevitability like it did with you. I love you, Edward. I have always loved you, even when Jacob was still part of my life, and it would be even if he were still with us today ... Besides, Jacob hadn't imprinted as long as he lived. Maybe it would still have happened, and he would have left me," she said softly, smiling at me indulgently. "Please stop thinking about all the things that could have happened. None of us can change the past, and I don't really want to change it either. Jacob's death was very bad for me. I don't want to ponder what my life would be like if things had turned out differently. Nothing happens without merit. You are here, I am here. Nothing else matters," she concluded, leaning down to me and giving me a soulful kiss.

I wasn't as convinced about it as Bella was, but I would stop thinking about it. Because she was really right about that: There was no point in getting carried away with any ideas that in any case couldn't happen again. Despite my guilt, Bella had given me her love again. Only on that I should think!

So, I laboriously drove away these dark thoughts, while Bella's lips seemed to breathe new life into me.

"Get a room!" I heard all of a sudden, which unfortunately ended our kiss way too abruptly.

"Maybe we should think about adoption!" I smirked at my angel.

"Maybe it's enough to ignore them!" she suggested and continued kissing me.

Of course, that was not enough. Usually, we had very considerate children who noticed exactly when they disturbed us, but now they had sought us out not without reason.

They stood waiting in the doorway, annoyed, with no intention of leaving.

"Are they still here, mmm ...?" mumbled Bella into our kiss.

"Yes, we are!" grouched Jake with mock severity.

"Carlisle has some initial results," Leah shared.

With that, she had our full attention.


Leah sat down on the high stretcher as a well-behaved patient and Jake, Bella, and I spread out around her. She was afraid of what Carlisle might say.

I was too, because I didn't know what Carlisle had to say. The thoughts about Jacob Black had taken over me too much.

"Well," Carlisle began seriously, and I could actually hear Leah's heart speeding up.

This was very rare in wolves.

I put my hands on her shoulders reassuringly and she also held onto Jake and Bella.

"Paul's last transformation was exactly two years, three months and seven days ago today. I therefore examined his blood first. I was able to determine the gene in the meantime on the basis of the various samples - which were available to me - and he also still carries it in him now as before ... But he is now a human being like any other."

Leah held her breath - as did Bella and Jake.

That was good news, but I guess the three of them didn't really grasp it yet.

So, Carlisle continued, pointing again and again at Sue's papers, "His senses are no longer comparable to those of an active wolf, he even needs glasses to read. Strength and speed are appropriate for his age and also no longer what he was used to as a wolf. Injuries require medical attention; they no longer heal by themselves and also no longer faster than usual. He is getting older every day, just like any other human ... We don't have a female wolf, unfortunately, to confirm my opinion flawlessly, but I am convinced that Paul Lahote could have children ... if he were a woman."

Leah jumped into his arms with joy.

She would one day, when she was ready and found a decent man, be able to have children.

After everyone present had been sufficiently hugged and kissed, I sat down with Bella.

I was very happy for Leah that the wolf didn't take away some of her life's happiness again. First her boyfriend Ben. At the same time came the secret that she had to hide from her friends. Her brother's strong feelings for Becky, which were also transferred to her to a certain extent, but which she was not allowed to explain to anyone. And the affectionate connection she herself had had with Jake since they had first phased, and that had been even a little more connected since they had claimed their birthright from Seth.

And there was something else that pleased me.

Leah would make me a grandfather. One day. One day, hopefully, still far away! After all, I'm only one hundred and twenty-three!

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a quiet voice of reason was still whispering to me that I should probably be more bothered about Jake and Becky in that regard.


Thank you for reading!