.
Chapter 166
... And What It Means
Leah
Everything was as it should be.
I thought.
Sunday. The last day of vacation. What a fucking bummer. Where had the past two weeks gone? We would trade the last two weeks of pure relaxation for pure studying stress in the next two weeks. The mid-year exams were coming up before the school semester would be over. But I wouldn't have to think about that until tomorrow!
We had a hearty breakfast, but hurried.
Emmett had originated the first 'Yo-Yo' family championship. There were even trophies for the three best and participant medals for the rest at least.
Becky was watched very closely by Emmett to make sure everything was going right, but she just missed out on the win despite her years of training. Jasper won, Becky ended up in second place and Carlisle got the bronze cup. Emmett had to settle for sixth place, after Dad and Alice. It was a tie between Marcus and Jake, which didn't suit either of them.
How skillful or clumsy would Nanuk be with a yo-yo?
I forgot about the question when we all went swimming together afterwards.
But in the early afternoon we drove to our house in Saco and the wolves ate extensively anew. After all, frolicking with Ced in the water used up oodles of energy. We still had time until our annual poker tournament at Lisa and Jason's, so I went for a stroll in the woods with Marcus.
It snowed.
We chatted about this and that.
"Leah? Do you have a specific destination where you're going?", Marcus asked me laughing when we had been walking for some time. "You stubbornly walk in one direction without stopping once, and you're moving pretty briskly."
A little surprised, I looked around.
He was right. My path led me in a specific direction. To the northwest. To Cornish. I hadn't even noticed.
"We should turn around or we'll be late, my little wildcat," he said, kissing me.
I nodded with a sigh, and we turned around.
Thoughtfully, however, I looked around again.
I wonder if Nanuk was as happy as I was?
The rest of the evening dragged on, although it was actually fun.
We had ordered pizza with Jason and Lisa and sat around the generous table. The whole group was gathered in a good mood, only I was somehow not quite with it.
I had a feeling that something was missing, but I couldn't figure out what it might be.
I noticed how Jake kept watching me again and again, with a worried look on his face, but I didn't let on that I had noticed it.
Let him think what he wanted. I was happy with Marcus.
And as if to prove it to Jake, I kissed Marcus as the winner of the current poker round so extensively that I may probably listen to stupid comments from Bran for a long time. But I didn't really care. But the later it got, the more I was overcome by a feeling of unease. No idea, why. I saw no reason for it.
We stayed longer than we had actually planned, considering that tomorrow was back to school.
Dad had been waiting for us, chiding us for coming home late. He also looked at me worriedly.
"Is everything all right?" he asked me quietly as I fetched something else to drink from the kitchen.
"Sure thing, Dad," I said enthusiastically.
We quickly went to bed, we had to get up early. Snuggled up to Marcus, I fell asleep.
And dreamed of Nanuk.
I relived the whole encounter, which had never officially taken place.
I think most of the night I spent daydreaming in that overwhelming kiss that had not wanted to end.
In the morning, as Dad sat on the edge of my bed with the coffee cup, my lips burned comfortingly, and I felt completely wiped out.
I had such a guilty conscience that I barely managed to look at Marcus.
Fortunately, there was the morning routine, which we struggled to follow today and ended up having to hurry.
The first coffee, running with Jake, during which he asked me in detail about my condition, quickly shower, dress, breakfast. Without Becky. She was back home. In this respect, Jake's mood was not necessarily the best, which was transferred to me.
"Do you see the excitement in their eyes, about finally getting to go back to school?" asked Edward, turning to Mom.
The three of us just raised our heads a little in disapproval.
The two of them laughed at us. Even Ced laughed.
"Just wait until you have to go to school!" opined Jake.
"Then you won't laugh about it anymore!", I threatened afterwards.
Marcus, of course, had to be the first to go. Pick up his sister Jules and then all the way to Portland.
Jake and Marcus had successfully taught Ced their hand high-fives. So the little baby and the big boy high-fived each other.
I smirked. It seemed with Ced something like Luce's nonchalance. He did it, but didn't really know what that was about. But he felt pretty cool about it.
"Please drive carefully. The roads will be slippery," Dad pointed out.
"Worried about your Audi?" chuckled Marcus, pulling on his jacket.
"No. About you. You are still needed here!", Dad answered.
"I should hope so!" he looked me in the eye as I stood with him at the wardrobe to give him a proper send-off.
We kissed us, but my lips were already burning again.
Or still were doing it? I was not sure.
He also gave me an old-fashioned hand kiss goodbye. On the hand where I wore his ring. He wore his, too. On the thumb.
I don't know why, but somehow I thought it was totally cool. It somehow suited him. There was little about him that could be called normal. He was too exciting for that. He also wore our family bracelet, along with Billy's band with the wolf on it. He just belonged to us. And I to him! Still, it stung my heart when I gave him another kiss. I knew why, though. Marcus had to work after school today, so he wouldn't be here until later.
"How are you doing, Leah?" Mom asked me as soon as I was sitting back down and nibbling on my roll.
Angrily, I threw it back on my plate.
"Stop asking me that all the time!", I thundered. "I'm fine! I couldn't be better!"
Ced just crawled happily across the floor and was now pulling on my pants. I picked him up and his little hand landed slapping my face. I smiled.
"I'd really love to go swimming with you, but unfortunately I have to go to school!", I replied to his mental question.
'Will you take me with?' he asked immediately, with oversized, bright green googly eyes.
"I'm afraid you're still a bit too little for that, even though Dad would love to take you with him," I laughed.
Ced looked offended.
'I'm too small for everything,' he thought. That's unfair.
"You'll get big fast enough. Much faster than we like!" Dad stated, taking Ced from me and twirling him through the air.
Then my little brother could giggle bright-eyed and bushy-tailed again. He put him down on Mom's lap.
"Just like your siblings. They've become big and grown up way too fast, too," Mom stated.
"So ... we like it that way!" replied Jake, and I nodded in agreement.
When I thought about the time I didn't have a driver's license, had to be home at seven o'clock in the evening, didn't have a cell phone, wasn't a wolf. God, how dependent one was as a child!
I shook myself inwardly.
"Not us! You could go to kindergarten again," Mom said, however, and Dad agreed.
I rolled my eyes.
Might suit them that way.
So slowly we also had to go.
Jake was already driving; he would still pick up Becky.
I went with Dad.
In the BMW, as he had said discontentedly. The Mercedes we had would provide enough topics of conversation at school, and he didn't want to provoke that even more with the Jaguar. People talked about us enough as it was.
"Are you sure you're okay, Leah?" Dad asked tentatively on the way to school.
I snorted in annoyance, but Dad took my hand and continued to speak softly before I found appropriate words to my indignation.
"Little one, I only ask because you called for Nanuk tonight. You almost woke Marcus up."
From my snorting, it became only a restrained sigh.
"I was dreaming about him. About Saturday," I admitted.
"That's what I thought ... Are you sure you can just ignore this encounter?"
"Why wouldn't that work? Marcus is everything I want. And Nanuk wants his Kate ... Please stop asking me about it all the time. I just want to forget about this Saturday and not be constantly reminded by you. It's over! Better said, there wasn't even anything that started that could be over now. There was nothing!"
Every teacher seemed to have made it their business to ruin my day!
The mid-year exams were the basis of our report card grades, which everyone reminded me of emphatically. Even if it were not the final exams, we should not take it lightly. That would be a bad mistake. And every topic from the previous semester could be quizzed.
Grrrh ...!
I was ripe for the next vacation by lunch break!
"Everything okay?" asked Jake when I ran into him in the hallway to the refectory.
I rolled my eyes and went on without a word.
He was headed in the other direction. With Dad to the principal's office and Carlisle would surely be waiting for them there. They were going to make it clear to the principal that Dad would only be able to come to school part-time. Because of an immune disease, because of which he had already been absent from class for the last few weeks and because of which he would not be able to cope with the full-day school stress until further notice. All very vague statements, but with Carlisle as the doctor, they would work it out. Especially since Dad would be there for all the tests and exams, even if they were in the afternoon.
I wasn't particularly interested in the chatter at our table. I wasn't really hungry either. The upcoming learning had thoroughly spoiled my appetite. So I gnawed rather absent-mindedly on my pasta.
I wonder if it was the same in college. Did one have a fixed daily curriculum there, too, and meet up with one's friends during the lunch break in order to switch off between classes? Was Nanuk perhaps sitting with friends right now? With Kate? In the lunchroom? In Boston? When did the spring semester at the university actually start? Was he still in Cornish? Or was he really back in Boston? Was he thinking about me, perhaps? Right now? Or had he perhaps also dreamed of me?
My lips burned again as I thought of how I had dreamed of Nanuk.
How I felt this breathtaking kiss on my mouth. And the burning was not limited to my lips. It rose hot in my head.
The school bell droned painfully in it when recess was over.
"Leah? Is everything okay with you?", Jasper then stood in front of me as everyone made their way back to class.
"Yes, Jazz. Everything's fine. I'm just having a bad day," I said annoyed and turned away.
Biology was a small bright spot.
The intermediate test I could do right away without it bothering me. But Dad wasn't there. Too bad, actually. It had always been fun with him, even though neither of us had really paid attention to the teacher.
"When we pick the new electives, we can see about having something together with him again," Jake cheered me up, though.
I hoped for math. Then I wouldn't have to struggle through all those numbers. Dad was a much better teacher than my female teacher. However, there was little hope for that. Dad was in the advanced course, Jake was in the basic course, and I was in the idiot course. It wasn't called that, of course, but that's how I felt.
Finally, volleyball practice came. I felt like really burning off energy.
Well, as a wolf that was almost a physical impossibility. The painful heat in my head was still there, however, which was quite useful to me.
When practice was finally over, my wrists and feet were on fire. In addition to my lips and my head. I was completely exhausted.
As wished before, I grumbled to myself. How was it with the wishes and that one should not express these too loudly? Otherwise it could happen that they come true.
Sluggishly, I let myself fall into the back seat of Jake's car.
After all, we still had to get Becky home.
I was too lazy to sit down in front afterwards.
Dinner was already waiting for us, but I still wasn't really hungry. Nevertheless, I ate.
"So how was your day?", I asked Mom.
I had summed mine up in two words: Exhausting and annoying.
"We went to Sonya's house and really got on her nerves so she wouldn't be bored while Emma was in kindergarten," she chuckled gleefully.
I smiled.
Distraction tactic. I wonder if David was as nervous as Edward was the first time Ced was over there alone, just because his little smooch ball had left the house all by himself for the first time?
"Even worse!" laughed Dad into my thoughts.
Dad was a busy paterfamilias that day.
He helped me create a study plan so I could review everything that might be asked the week after next. He developed a similar outline for Jake, focusing on business and economics. Also scheduled were tutoring sessions from our vampiric relatives.
After all, Dad couldn't divide himself by four.
In the meantime, he provided us with beverages, food, and thought-provoking ideas.
Ced also wanted to get entertained by his daddy and demanded a baby bottle from him personally.
Between two subjects I went down to the living room.
Just a little breather.
I grabbed a small bowl of ice cream, sat down on the sofa, and turned on the TV. Ced crawled to me. I picked him up and put him on my lap. With his purple octopus, he played on my tracksuit top. Tugging on the ribbons, hiding his stuffed animal, wrapping the ribbons around the octopus, giggling over and over. We shared the ice cream.
Mom also needed Dad's help while she read through her thesis on one of our laptops. She was having considerable trouble understanding her own work, and yet she was driving to Portland to see this professor tomorrow.
"You're letting ME read your work? Did you fall on your head while I wasn't here?" Dad inquired seriously and immediately examined Mom's head.
I smirked.
For more my motivation was just not enough.
Even the neighbor called for Dad's help. David, however, probably just needed someone to lend a hand to get the Christmas decorations back into the attic.
8:00 p.m.
The news was on. A storm in the Midwest, numerous minor car accidents due to the snow, Portland police had foiled a burglary, wolf cubs were born at the Chicago Zoo on New Year's Eve, scattered snowfall continued to be expected.
It became quiet with us, and my head fell back on the back of the sofa.
Actually, I had wanted to continue learning now, but I couldn't manage to pick myself up. What was wrong with me? I felt ... so strange. So empty. Not as if my body lacked strength. Rather, it lacked drive. No matter for what. I just wanted to sit here and never move again.
My thoughts wandered to Nanuk.
How was he? Whether he had said something to Kate ... or not. If so, how she had taken it. Whether she would even understand. She was afraid of Nanuk as a wolf. I really felt sorry for him. If that didn't change, Nanuk would miss out on something great. Walking through the forest with his girlfriend on his back. I wonder what it would be like if we both ran through the forest? Both of us as wolves? It had to be glorious. No caution about throwing him off me by a careless movement. There would be hardly any limits for us. Like we'd been to Canada with Dad for once, we could explore the world. Roam foreign forests. Side by side. Find enchanted little corners that lay too hidden for humans. That would be so beautiful ...
"Leah!", I heard a dark voice above me, and it sounded panicked.
With difficulty I opened my eyes.
Marcus was there. Since when? Unimportant.
I smiled.
"What about her?", I heard Mom say.
'Nothing', I wanted to say, but somehow I couldn't get my mouth to speak.
"She seems to be burning up," Marcus said incredulously.
In the corner of my eye, I saw Mom anxiously approach me and put a hand to my forehead.
"Oh, God," she commented, pulling her hand back as if she had burned her fingers.
'It's nothing', went through my head, but not over my lips.
Even the attempt to free myself in an evidential manner and to stand up was something I had imagined differently.
I just remained seated. Moved lethargically. I hardly felt anything for all the burning inside me. Everything was on fire. I felt only the raging fires on my skin and in my veins.
"JAKE!" she shouted, and immediately a thump could be heard from upstairs as the front door opened as well.
Dad was back again.
His caring hands on my neck were like a soothing light breeze, but were completely lost in the roaring flames.
"You're on fire," Jake said as he reached the other side of the table and looked down at me.
Without having touched me.
Was that a question or a statement?
I was not sure. I nodded.
Or maybe not?
Dad translated him my seemingly just thought of nodding. He held his hands out toward me.
"I know how it stops," he almost whispered.
It sounded apologetic. But also like a promise.
Mom, Dad, and Marcus looked at him questioningly, but he didn't explain.
There was hardly anyone in this world whom I trusted more than my twin brother. Whereas I had been unable to move much before, I now managed to reach out a hand to him with difficulty. He pulled me to him, but I slumped, barely feeling my own weight on my useless, glowing joints.
But Marcus was already holding me.
Marcus.
He looked at me with such concern that it broke my heart.
I love you!, I thought emphatically and actually wanted to say it, but my body denied me this.
"She can't walk on her own or hold on to you," Dad stated, lifting me up in his arms.
"What's wrong with her?", Marcus nervously demanded an answer.
"She's ... sick?!" replied Mom indecisively as the supernatural beings of the house made their way to the patio.
Marcus would never believe her, I still thought.
We ran into the forest.
To the northwest. Towards Cornish.
Okay, I wasn't running. I was carried and on me lay still jeans and T-shirt from Jake.
"I ... feel ... so hot," I whimpered weakly.
"I know, little one. It'll stop soon," Dad whispered and seemed to pull me tighter.
I noticed no change through his cool body.
We ran and ran.
I had no sense of time anymore, the burning was getting worse, but we changed direction somewhere.
It still took until I recognized the area between my now and then slightly opened eyes.
We were approaching Sebago Lake. We must have almost reached the cabin when Jake made a rapid sprint and disappeared from my field of view. But I heard him.
"Nanuk?!" exclaimed Jake.
Seemingly transformed back.
"Jake ..." mumbled the person addressed.
It sounded weak and distorted with pain.
I reached the cabin with Dad, and an ice-cold stab ran through my heart when I saw Nanuk.
He was lying on the boards at the end of the jetty. Exactly on the spot where we had sat together on Saturday. Curled up, as if he was suffering agony.
"Leah's here," Jake tried to tell him.
Nanuk turned a little on his stomach so he could look in our direction while I reached the dock with Dad. His gaze became gentle.
"Nanuk," I whispered as I finally looked into his eyes. The flames inside me seemed to subside immediately and no longer consumed me.
"Leah," Nanuk said, also already sounding much more relaxed than he actually looked.
Jake helped him up off the ground, Dad lowered me to the ground.
We lurched toward each other. Cautiously at first, still held upright by Jake and Dad, the steps became firmer and firmer until we jumped into each other's arms over the last yard. We hugged so tightly, so gratefully, so reassured, that as a normal person I would have broken ribs for sure.
I sucked in his natural scent, dived into the black night of his eyes, enjoyed the comforting warmth of his arms around me, ran my fingers through his chin-length straight hair. It took until perfect peace and harmony reigned within me.
"I told you guys that you would not withstand this!" opined Jake, teasingly, after some time.
He was sitting on the railing and Dad was leaning next to him.
"How did you know that? I've never seen you like Leah earlier. Without any will," Dad inquired.
I too looked at my brother, because Dad was right about that.
Jake had never been so impassive.
"I'd appreciate it, by the way, if you'd get dressed first whilst you're hugging my princess!" he followed up in Nanuk's direction, handing him his leather pouch.
The latter looked down at himself in embarrassment.
He was naked. Not that that bothered me much, as I noted, while chewing dreamily on my lower lip. Nanuk looked hot as hell. About like the man who was waiting for me at home.
At the thought, I hid my face in my hands.
How could all this be? What was wrong with me?
"All is well, little one," Dad drew me comfortingly into his arms.
Quickly Nanuk put on his T-shirt and jeans before Dad released me from his arms. Nanuk then stood directly behind me and took my hands from behind.
I felt so secure in his proximity. Although I didn't really want that at all.
"I don't know if you overheard on Saturday," I reflected, looking over my shoulder at Nanuk. There had been a heated discussion on Saturday after Nanuk and I had left the cabin, to the extent that I wasn't sure if Jake had told the others. "Jake also imprinted ... Or made the bond, as you say."
"Yeah, Akai and Tom told me on the way home, but they didn't really believe it. The way Jake explained it, it would be impossible for him to spend even an hour without his Becky. But you were on the road the whole day without her. The two of them didn't understand that and therefore assumed that Jake was exaggerating immoderately ... Just as I thought, too," said Nanuk.
"If I say the right thing now, will you cancel the sleepover rule between Becky and me?" Jake dug deeper with Dad.
He just shrugged his shoulders in amusement without being fooled into making a statement.
Jake then looked in our direction.
"I imprinted on Becky. No more, but no less pervasive than you. Only with us, the fundamentals are different ... Becky is not here, and I am burning inside. But it doesn't take up my whole being because I know that tomorrow I will have Becky in my arms again. I've been together with her since I imprinted on her. I love her and she loves me. This certainty that it is so allows me to go on with living my life, even without her being with me. It hurts, but it's bearable," Jake explained.
"I nonetheless haven't noticed until now that you suffer from such ache when Becky isn't there," Dad remarked.
I could tell he was indecisive.
He namely sounded apologetic, as if he felt responsible for Jake's pain. Well, the way Jake said it, he was.
"You can only hear my thoughts, not my sensations. So you also didn't hear how Leah burned more and more with every hour she was separated from Nanuk and was more and more trapped in that pain. Because she didn't think about it. Because she forbade herself that thought on Saturday. Because she resists the imprinting and the dependency that comes with it with everything she has to offer ... But Jazz knows it. He mentioned it to me once when he was tutoring me in history. And I bet he caught on with Leah today, too, even though she didn't want to admit it herself," Jake continued.
I nodded.
"He did. During the lunch break he asked me if everything was okay," I interjected.
I felt Nanuk move closer behind me and breathe deeply. His hands on mine held me tighter.
As if he was processing what he had heard from Jake and was now making sure that nothing was actually wrong with me. How did I know now again for what reason Nanuk was doing something?
"I might be able to explain that to you," Dad interjected into my thoughts. "Jake was imprinted with the right way to handle Becky. He always knows what Becky needs. A little hug, a funny word, a teasing kiss, a gentle hand. Whether it's to deal with strokes of fate - like back then in the hospital. Or just an everyday situation that Becky has already forgotten shortly after. No matter what situation they are in, Jake always does the right thing in Becky's eyes ... The same will be true for you, however, you are both imprinted on each other, not just one of you. I think that intuition expands with that. To the extent that you not only know on your own what to give the other person to make them feel better or to make them feel comfortable, but you also understand what you're getting from the other person."
"In other words, you're dependent on each other and rely on each other," Jake summarized.
"But that's just impossible. We don't even know each other, and we only met once by chance. How can we be so dependent on each other?", Nanuk spoke my own thoughts.
"Well, then tell me how you've been since Saturday?" Jake asked Nanuk in a casual chit-chat tone.
"Everything was still fine on Saturday, and I thought that our ancestors must have been quite exaggerated. Kate was waiting for me at home, of course, and it was business as usual. I brushed aside what had happened and was convinced that everything was right. Akai and Tom didn't say a word, although they were watching me curiously. But since I had behaved quite normally, they quickly lost interest in it ... Then on Sunday it started. I had only briefly thought about how you would be doing right now. Whether you could go on living with Marcus as normal as I did with Kate. As if we had never met. Because everything looked like it would work. But I couldn't get you out of my thoughts ... I was worried. I don't know Marcus and I don't know what his mood is like. If he found out about our bond, maybe he would have gone crazy and done something to you. Or maybe you came to the conclusion not to ignore our bond, to take it seriously and would think too much about it. A dispute between you and Marcus, because he realized that something was different. One like I had with Kate yesterday. So much was going through my head, and it all had to do with you. Even very mundane things. Whether you got out of bed okay after the vacation. How your first day at school went. At the same time, since my quarrel with Kate, I was getting warmer and warmer until I felt like I was burning up from the inside. I lay awake all night, not knowing where to put myself. At some point I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't think I could survive another minute without you ... Today at noon I ran here. Wanted to admonish myself with this, what we said. That nothing had happened. That we would not let our fate be dictated to us. I didn't want to run to you because we had agreed never to meet again. So I didn't want to upset you if I didn't stick to it. Maybe you had already forgotten all about me. But instead of this place helping me, it became unbearable and paralyzed me. I don't know how long I've been lying here," Nanuk told.
I had turned to him in the meantime and now hugged him tightly.
The thought that he was uncomfortable because of me, in pain because of me, was unbearable to me. My heart was racing, as was his. With inner turmoil.
"The fact is, you can't seem to ignore it like you thought you could," Dad said softly when our hearts were calmer again.
"I guess that's what it looks like at the moment," Nanuk confirmed as he looked me in the eyes.
"What about Marcus and Kate?" asked Jake. "You want to leave them?"
"NO," Nanuk and I answered simultaneously, like a shot.
"I love Kate. I didn't propose to her because I had nothing better to do right now!" clarified Nanuk.
I nodded in agreement.
Jake and Dad both knew how much I wanted Marcus.
"But how does it fit with your feelings toward the two of you that you seem unable to be without the other?" asked Dad.
"I don't know," I muttered. "I feel torn. I know Marcus is the one for me. Just everything feels right with him. And yet, the longing would have driven me here if I could have still walked alone," I explained. I would have. As I had walked so purposefully yesterday with Marcus in Nanuk's direction.
"Because you've been blocking it out all day," Jake countered. "You were sitting on the sofa earlier, all calm and relaxed. Surely you were thinking about Nanuk while you were doing that? ..."
I nodded ...
"With that, you paused your inner struggle, with which you could no longer defend yourself against the fire inside you. It took the chance and completely overpowered you. So much so that you could no longer move under the fire," Jake explained sympathetically.
Nanuk squinted his eyes painfully and he pulled me towards him with one hand on the back of my neck so he could place a gentle kiss on my forehead.
Why did that feel so damn good on its own!
"The fact that you continue to hold on to Kate and Marcus, I can also explain," Jake put in again and the three of us just looked at him in amazement.
Wasn't he just the other day believing that we couldn't stand to ignore the imprinting?
"If I had to choose between you and Becky, which one of you I would save, I wouldn't think about it. It's going to be Becky! ... But everything that meant something to me before is still there. I love my mom just as much as I did before. You are still my twin sister that I would do just about anything for. Bran is furthermore my best friend, even though Marcus is getting pretty close to that now ... But Becky is above you all! Imprinting doesn't change anything that was there before. It just puts a whole new priority at the top!"
I swallowed hard.
That sounded pretty definitive.
"I'm sorry, Leah, but I think you're going to have to come to terms with the idea that you don't have a choice," Jake murmured, giving me an apologetic hug.
"The way we found Nanuk here and had to bring you here, I'm afraid he's right," Dad remarked softly, breathing a kiss on my forehead. "We'll leave you alone for a bit to talk about it," he whispered before retreating with Jake.
Seeking help, I looked after them, but there was simply no help.
We had to face the facts. Nanuk and I were destined to find each other. But how was that going to happen when I wanted Marcus?
I hid my face in my hands, breathed deeply, sighed in resignation, and sat down at the end of the jetty. I looked out at the lake. Peacefully it lay there. Absolute silence reigned.
Nanuk sat down next to me, but the silence remained.
It was not an oppressive silence, it had more of a calming effect.
"Even though this whole thing doesn't really suit us book ...", Nanuk began to say softly.
I looked to him as he took my hand.
"... Fate could well have made a worse choice."
He smirked and I did the same.
"Yes, I know what you mean. If Kate and Marcus weren't there, everything would be so easy," I said, and he nodded in agreement.
"But they are there. They pertain to us."
"Everything was so perfect!", I agreed.
Nanuk played with my hand, with my fingers, turned my ring right. And with a smirk, turned it again completely to see all the wolves on it.
"This is pretty. So fitting. From Marcus?" he asked.
"Yes. He gave it to me for Christmas. He wears the same one, only this big paw is also black instead of pink on him," I said.
"Fits a man better, too, I suppose," he smiled unbiasedly.
So I told him how Marcus gave me the rings. How Emma first sternly explained that Santa Claus had brought the box for me, not for him. And how she insinuated that we were now married.
Nanuk looked truly relaxed and at ease. Just as I was feeling right now.
"Do you usually wear a ring? An engagement ring?"
"No, only Kate got a little diamond. As it should be!"
I could have thought so. In this country, and even nowadays, engagement rings for both partners were not particularly common. Friendship rings, which 'mark' a relationship as such – as with Marcus and me – were seen much more often. Maggie and Ethan, for example, wore almost identical rings.
"How did you ask her?", I asked curiously.
He laughed heartily and that alone brought my heart to a pleasant glow. It was very close to me to see his cheerfulness. I felt it and it was transmitted to me.
"I was so nervous, you can't imagine ..." he began to tell.
All his friends had known about it and had still teased him about his nervousness. He wanted to pop the question at exactly 10:43 p.m., because that was when – exactly five years earlier – they had kissed for the first time, which had once started their relationship. Their mutual friends were all supposed to join in and present enlarged photos of their time together to their shared song, until – when the song ended – he got down on one knee in front of her. The timing hadn't worked out– The music player mal–unctioned, someone was late, in the background someone was already so drunk that he fell into the pool. Everything that could have gone wrong had gone wrong. And yet somehow everything had worked out, even if it was much too late. It wasn't until half past eleven that he was really engaged.
We laughed peaceably, while I could imagine everything exactly.
It was such an abstruse situation. Here we were sitting. We were talking about the people we loved, holding each other by the hands thereby. But we were in the best of moods and laughed at each other while we also told each other more little events.
Dad and Jake came back to us.
Jake smiled oddly. Kind of nervous.
"Jake has an idea," Dad announced as I looked towards them questioningly.
"Let's say it's more like a straw I'm clutching at," Jake ran through his hair. He squatted down. "I'm not sure the easiest way to explain it ... Okay, maybe like this: ... If Becky leaves me because she thinks she'll be happier with someone else, I'll let her go. Because that's what she wants. I wouldn't be able to not give in to her wishes. But as long as Becky is happy with it, I will be too!"
In my head it rattled, and I took apart Jake's explanation word by word.
Nanuk was apparently faster than me.
"You mean it's not so much about our own destiny. Because the person connected to us is above everything ... even above ourselves?"
"Yes, that's right ... You weren't brought here by consuming love, but by the worries you had about Leah. Because you didn't know how she was doing today because of your encounter. You probably would have liked to run to Saco to see for yourself that Leah was fine. But you didn't dare go against your mutual agreement. Because Leah's word is a law for you that you can't break," Jake confirmed.
"You've been sitting here together for over half an hour ..." commented Dad. "... with the knowledge that you can't prevail against the imprinting. And yet you two are merely dutifully holding hands without having kissed. You don't want to betray Kate and Marcus, but we think there's something else behind it. You have listened to each other about how well you are doing with Marcus and Kate and have been happy for each other without feeling put back or jealous. It is already enough for you to see that the other is happy and content."
"And you guys mean that could continue to be enough?", I asked, having understood that so slowly.
"If you see each other regularly so you can be reassured that you're doing well, then that might work. I think it's worth a try," Dad reflected.
"As I said, it's a straw. But if it works out, Kate and Marcus remain at your side," Jake smiled.
"I think one thing won't be avoidable, though," Dad put in, looking at us apologetically and emphatically at the same time. "You'll have to tell Kate and Marcus that something supernatural has happened to you. You can't keep it a secret. They both need to know and, if possible, understand why you need to see each other. For one thing, both of them will already be very worried. Even if we find a plausible explanation for your disappearance today, you can't rule out the possibility that it might not happen again. On the other hand, it does not speak well for you to keep your partners in the dark. Sooner or later, they will certainly find out the reason and feel betrayed and cheated. And if necessary, they will draw final consequences. Exactly what you want to prevent."
We had to realize that Dad was right about that. Especially because Jake, as someone affected by it himself, saw no way out for us.
Marcus had to feel lied to by now, provided Mom stuck to her 'she's sick' theory.
I wanted to assist Nanuk when he told Kate about me.
Maybe I could talk to Kate, too. As one woman to another.
Just like he wanted to be there when I told Marcus the truth.
Looking at the clock, we decided to run to Nanuk's family first. After all, he had been missing at home since noon.
Jake would also come along.
He could not let me step into the lion's den alone, as he said.
And Dad, of course.
He had offered himself, as he could translate the thoughts that one might not want to express.
So the wolves undressed, and the vampire acted as the clothes carrier.
I gave Dad a kiss on the cheek in exchange.
We phased.
And I stood around like an idiot for a moment.
Wow ... I hadn't had an eye on Saturday at all for how Nanuk looked as a wolf. He was magnificent. His tri-colored fur looked elegant and distinguished. He looked a little tiny next to Jake, but he was still very impressive. Attractive. Although Nanuk wore his human hair longer, as Jake did, only not quite as long, he did not appear shaggy and sometimes unkempt. It added fullness to his fur.
But as a wolf I heard not only my own thoughts. Fortunately, I did not blush as animal.
... she looks just gorgeous. Like the queen of all wolves. This shiny white fur! So royally and grandiose. Plus her impressive size. Fabulous! And then those beautiful eyes. The stars reflect delightfully in them, so that they look like Goldstones ..., I heard Nanuk dreaming to himself.
I walked up to him, and we rubbed our muzzles together feelingly.
We didn't even have to think about doing that. It just happened.
'Um ... can we then?' interfered Jake.
We nodded ... a little embarrassed.
'How do you actually stand it all day with all of our thoughts?' he asked Dad still, a touch annoyed.
"At least now you know why I listen as little as possible, if I can avoid it somehow!" countered Dad.
Of course, we all knew where Cornish was.
That's how we ran. Shoulder to shoulder, one wolf next to the other. And next to them a vampire who carried our clothes. It had to be a pretty grotesque picture, which made us all smirk. Despite our wolf forms. With that, in the end, it was Dad who laughed.
'Akai,' Nanuk suddenly said. 'Yes, I'm on my way home,' he continued to think.
Jake and I looked at each other in confusion.
"Akai has phased to look for Nanuk, but you can only seem to hear another Alpha wolf, not his pack," Dad resolved our confusion.
Nanuk was of the same opinion.
'Maybe you can prepare everyone already that I won't come alone,' Nanuk said.
He looked at all of us once. With a strange expression.
"He's just showing Akai who he's bringing," Dad said.
'I see.'
We ran on.
Mostly 'silent'.
I thought about what his family would say. His grandfather had been a wolf himself. His father was exempt from that ability. And would Kate be there?
It is quite possible that in the end it was no longer just my thoughts, but that the thoughts of the three wolves were intermingled.
'How fast are you?' asked Nanuk, and it sounded challenging.
I looked at him condescendingly from the side and picked up a pace. He set after me and he was able to keep up pretty well. I was pleasantly surprised.
I remembered how I had imagined running side by side with him through the forest. How beautiful it would be. Somehow, I'm not sure how, my imagination of tonight watching TV was caught up with reality. Even surpassed.
We chased each other playfully, goofed around, jumped in each other's way or tried to push each other off. When he actually tried to overtake me, I tripped him, and he landed in a slightly larger puddle left by the snow.
I could take no more and loll on the ground laughing as he shook himself from head to tail tip to rid himself of the unpleasant wetness.
As a thank you, he stood on my tail.
I growled. And pulled the tail from under him so that he lost his balance.
While he was still reeling, without anything from anywhere to hurt him in any way, he yelped.
'Boys are real sissies, too!' I thought, chuckling boisterously.
'Well wait!' he threatened, and we continued to squabble each other through the forest.
We playfully wrestled with each other, and my heart bubbled over with enthusiasm.
No thought of Marcus waiting at home, and probably worrying. No thought of Jake and Dad, who were hot on our heels. No thought of what our destination was and who was waiting for us there. I just enjoyed the moment, and this fooling around made me indescribable fun, although it was actually, totally silly.
I saw lights of houses approaching, the smell of human civilization was getting closer, but we just kept on. We rolled together across the forest ground until a tree stood in our way. We slammed into it, intertwined.
'Leah, Nanuk. That's enough,' we heard Jake say.
It sounded kind of warning, and we phased back. But we were still laughing at each other, without making any effort to break away from each other.
It was so nice to be in his arms and see his liberated laughter.
"Nanuk!" however, a voice unknown to me broke through the merriment.
A female voice. And she sounded quite angry.
"Kate!" exclaimed Nanuk, startled.
The mood was gone as Kate stormed across the lawn and across the patio into the house, aghast and furious.
We were lying on the edge of a garden.
The garden of Nanuk's parents, I assumed, because of the five Native Americans behind the big window. They didn't look like they were scared of oversized wolves.
Two other people were standing in the garden.
Akai and Tom.
And everyone was staring at us. Hence Jake's warning. Damn.
"Dude, you screwed that up pretty bad!", Akai stated, handing a towel to his brother, who quickly tied it around his hips and ran after his fiancée.
"Welcome!", Tom grinned at me, holding out a hand for me to stand up and a towel as well.
A towel! Not a bath towel or even a bathrobe. A towel! To limit this basically nice gesture only to a washcloth, one had probably forbidden him.
However, mere seconds passed before Jake - growling - shielded me from those greedy eyes.
I had never felt so exposed as I did at that moment.
Dad came, too, of course, but behaved quite humanly and handed me my things. I quickly got dressed.
"If you continue to have such inappropriate and shameless thoughts about my daughter, I will shatter every bone in your body!" threatened Dad over Jake's back.
Akai laughed heartily and murmured to Tom that Dad would surely mean it in earnest, and he wouldn't stop him from doing it.
I liked Akai. Saturday already.
"Thank goodness you did not imprint on that one!" opined Dad, still whispering.
I toppled over in shock as I was pulling up my jeans.
Oh God! Would I then also be ... so ... obsessed with Tom? That would be ... yes ... disgusting!
Once I was dressed and Jake quickly put on his own clothes, Dad held my jewelry out to me. Our family bracelet and my ring from Marcus. I put both on and gave special attention to the ring by doing so.
"Come on in then, I'll introduce you to our family," Akai cheerfully prompted us.
I didn't need to hear his thoughts to know that he was insanely tense about how this was going to go now.
Jake and I involuntarily took each other by the hand.
He gave me some support through that, for which I was grateful.
Dad held himself back and remained standing on the patio as we now entered the house.
The Native Americans eyed us skeptically, but didn't say a word.
Thanks for reading!
