Okay, so i am really excited about this and the next few chapters. When i planned out this season for my fan-fic i had this idea in mind.
TW: there is some violence and a bit of physical abuse in this chapter. Not alot but please take your own health and mental wellbeing into account when reading.
Also, i was so excited to post this so there will probably be some errors so i apologize for that. :)
I wandered through Kildare, from the cut through Figure 8 until the sun had long since disappeared and blanketed everything in darkness by the time I found myself in front of my house. I wasn't sure why this is where I ended up, but my feet had dragged me here before my brain processed it. My mom's silver car and I would assume Tuckers large truck were parked in the driveway, but the house was otherwise dark. With a sigh I slowly walked around to the back of the house and found the spare key in the tresses along the house. Opening the back door into the kitchen I tossed the key back and quietly shut the door behind me.
The kitchen was dark and empty, and the house was utterly silent. It felt weird sneaking into my home... again, this time with my mom being the primary residence. Walking through the kitchen towards the front door I stopped at the stairs and looked up at them. My room was occupied so going upstairs was pointless. Sighing, I moved towards the Rec room. Shutting the door behind me I walked through the room running my hand over the felt on the pool table, my mind filtering to the day JJ had come over after SBI had raided the house.
Shaking my head, and the pit in my stomach I moved to the couch curling myself onto and covering with a blanket. As much as sleep should have evaded me, I hadn't slept in two days and exhaustion eventually won over. In the morning I would talk to my mom, apologize for sneaking in, but for right now... I just wanted to sleep.
I woke up to a door slamming loudly. Heart pounding, I sat up and put my shoes on slowly opening the door to the rec room. The house still seemed quiet. As quietly as I could I stepped out towards the front door, until a voice I was sure was in my head... that had haunted me for a month boomed from a door partially cracked across the hall.
"I told you to stay put!" the voice exclaimed and against my better judgement I moved towards the door to listen more closely. "Ward, listen to me, I know how important this is but..." My father paused and I held my breath as I listened to him pace the floor. "You are supposed to be dead, if they see you on the island, the cross means nothing if you get caught." Ward was here, I had to warn Sarah. She needed to know. Closing my eyes, I took a few steps away ready to get to the front door as quickly as possible and run, until I heard my father's footsteps getting closer. "Fine... I will meet you there. Ward I am serious don't move, and don't be seen."
I had to make a quick decision on which way I was going. My father was coming out of his study, quickly. Turning towards the kitchen, I hid behind the connecting wall and listened as he stomped from the room and out the front door, the door slamming loudly behind him. Finally letting out a breath I turned away from the door and leaned my back on the wall. Holding my chest, I took a deep breath pushing down my panic. I took another glance over my shoulder at the foyer making sure he wasn't going to come back in before I finally pushed off the wall and walked towards the kitchen exit to the back yard.
As I passed the counter a folded paper caught my eye and I paused to look at it. My name was written on the top haphazardly and it was half of a regular size piece of paper. Taking a cautious step forward I picked the paper up. Looking up at the front door again quickly I decided to unfold the paper.
Rowyn,
I wish this wasn't how you had to find out.
I thought I was over the past but seeing him again it's too much.
I hope you understand why I must leave again.
I promise I will be back.
Love, Mom
I shouldn't have been surprised. She left before, it was just a matter of time before she did it again, I just didn't expect it to hurt. Maybe it was because I had hoped this time was different. Crumpling the note, I stuffed it in my pocket before leaving out the kitchen door. I slipped through the backyard of one of the neighbors keeping an eye on the road. Once I felt like I was far enough past my house I made my way to the road and continued towards town. I wasn't sure where I was going, I knew I had to find Sarah, but after her fight with John B. I wasn't sure where she would have ended up. I didn't realize I was in front of the docks until I heard Kie calling my name.
"Rowyn!" She called and I stopped and turned. She was following me with a concerned scowl on her face. "I've been calling after you for like five minutes."
"Sorry." I shook my head, "didn't hear you."
"What's going on?" she asked, and I realized I wasn't hiding my emotions at all, fear, worry, stress was written all over my face.
"Um..." I had to look away from her and let out a small laugh and shook my head. "My dad's back in town."
"What!"
"Yeah, fell asleep and woke up to him yelling in his office this morning." I nodded. "And my mom up and left." Kie stepped back in surprise which only made me laugh again, "but hey she left a letter this time." I said pulling the crumpled piece of paper from my pocket.
"Shit, does JJ know, was he with you when..."
"JJ and I... I don't even know where we are stand anymore," I interrupted her feeling the burn of tears in the back of my eyes. "But I'm pretty sure my mom had something to do with it." Kie was quick to step towards me and wrap me in her arms.
"Look why don't you come with me." she offered, pointing towards the docks. "I have to head down and get some supplies for my parents anniversary party; we can hang out after."
"I don't know Kie, your parents..."
"Still asked if you were coming and if you were okay, they still care." she said quickly. Grabbing my hand, she started pulling me towards the Carrera's before I could even answer. Helping her untie the boat I jumped in and sat at the stern letting her lead us through the marsh towards a local restaurant. I resigned myself to staying in the boat and let Kie go in and pick up the food for the party tonight. Lost in thought, I replayed my father's conversation and pulled the note from my mother out of my pocket re-reading the words.
"Kie!" I heard a voice calling down the pier and I looked up to see Kiara coming towards me, supplies in hand and Sarah following after her. "Kie wait, can we... Topper and I..."
"It's none of my business." Kie shook her head and I scowled at her as she handed me the box.
"What's going on with Topper?"
"Topper and I were getting breakfast." Sarah explained.
"Wait you're here with Topper?" I asked, looking from Sarah to Kie, still trying to figure out what was going on.
"You guys should join us if you want to." Sarah suggested.
"Breakfast..." Kie repeated suspiciously narrowing her eyes. She looked at me and I just shrugged, not sure what was going on.
"Yo Kie!" Topper yelled from the balcony of the restaurant, and I looked up to see him waving in our direction. "Rowyn!"
"Yo Top..." Kie replied giving him a halfhearted wave.
"I had nowhere to go last night." Sarah said, her voice getting quiet as Topper made his way down the dock ramp towards us. "Cleo's at Pope's. I couldn't find JJ, John B and I got into like a thing..." I felt a pang of guilt. JJ and I got into it, but I had somewhere to go, even if I snuck in and snuck out today. "I'm... He found me and took me to Mase with a group of people."
"Okay, so the late morning date?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Yeah, not really sure bringing him to the middle of the Island Restaurant on a Saturday says any of that..." Kie added.
"Kie, Roe, what's up... Random right?" Topper was all energy when he made it to us holding out his fist for Kie to bump. She ignored it looking annoyed at Sarah.
"Yeah, random." I nodded.
"Look, I'm... we're just gonna go." Kie motioned towards the boat before nodding at me. I moved to undo the stern line as she moved to jump in the boat.
"Gotta help her parents with the anniversary party and what not." I said quietly looking up at Sarah. She looked nervously between us and Topper.
"You know what..." Sarah said suddenly and both Kie and I looked up as she turned to Topper. "I'm gonna go to."
"Wait, wait... what?" Topper questioned taken back by her sudden comment. "Our food literally just came out."
"I know." she said apologetically.
"How... how are you going to smother your hunger?" Topper asked and I raised an eyebrow looking at Kie who was giving me the same look.
"Topper." Sarah sighed.
"Yeah, okay, we're leaving." Kie said.
"I'm going with Kie and Rowyn." Sarah stated again reaching up to Topper's shoulder, "But thank you." she lifted herself up on her toes and lightly placed a kiss on his cheek. I quickly turned to Kie with a surprised and confused expression before turning my attention back to getting the boat ready to leave the dock. "I'm going to call you." she added before jumping in the boat and leaning over the edge to help Kie. I stood up and leaned on the seat staring at Sarah as she avoided Toppers' hurt gaze.
"Sarah, what are you doing?" Kie asked quietly.
"I don't know." the girl admitted. We drifted away from the dock and rode back to Kie's in silence. Her parents were out at The Wreck getting things together, so we sat on the porch quietly waiting for someone to speak. Kie and Sarah sat beside each other, and I sat across from them, my legs between them.
"All right Sarah, it's time to come clean." Kie finally spoke.
"Yeah, what's the deal with Topper?" I added and she groaned.
"Oh God... it's actually so embarrassing. He caught me slugging beer at the tiki bar."
"You're kidding." I tried not to laugh but had to cover my mouth in the end.
"Yeah." Sarah giggled. "Shot drinking."
"I'm not judging." Kie said quietly with a small smile on her face.
"I wouldn't blame you if you were." Sarah sighed. "And then a couple kids from KCD rolled up, and they were already going to Mase..."
"And then..."
"I kissed him." she blurted out and I tried to keep my face neutral.
"Do you hate me?" she asked worried.
"Hates the wrong word." Kie shook her head, and I nodded in agreement. "So, you and John B. are just done?"
"No." she shook her head before letting her shoulders droop a bit. "Well, I don't know, I don't want to be. Like since the island everything has felt so..."
"Strange?" I offered.
"Abnormal." she added agreeing with me. "And it just felt nice to feel something normal again, and I... like... I'm a mess, I feel like such a mess."
"I think we're all a little messed up." Kie commented.
"Yeah."
"You, Kie, me... JJ." I sighed, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. "Speaking of which," I pulled the money clip JJ had taken from Mike the night before and tossed it to Kie. She flipped it in her hand with a scowl confused. "JJ he, uh... look I have no idea what he was thinking, but could you just tell your dad I found it on the pier or something... leave JJ out of it, I'm not sure what's going on with him right now."
"Yeah, but why are you..."
"He took it after your dad went off on him." I explained, "He shuts down when we talked about it and now... now he just won't talk."
"JJ? Wha...What's going on with you and JJ, I thought..." Sarah stumbled over her words as she leaned forward smacking my knee to get my attention. "Seriously what happened?"
"No idea." I shrugged. "We went to brunch at my house with my mom and we left... he won't talk to me and said he needed time to think if we work. Said I am a Kook no matter how hard I try not to be."
"He did not say that." Kie gasped with a scowl.
"Yeah, he did, but the thing is... I don't think he meant it." I continued. "We were good up until I left him alone in the kitchen and when I came back, he... he was quiet and shut off and wouldn't tell me anything, but I'm pretty sure my mom said something."
"Did you ask her about it?" Sarah asked and Kie quickly tapped her arm and shook her head trying to stop her from asking the question. I just chuckled and shook my head pulling out the note again.
"Can't, she jumped ship again." I said, handing her the note, letting both of them read the small piece of crumpled paper.
"Who's the 'him'?" Sarah asked looking up suspiciously, she already had an idea, but she was hoping she was wrong. "I mean, not your..."
"Yep, Greg Daniels is back on the island." I nodded. "He was at the house this morning and... Sarah... I'm pretty sure Ward is back too."
"Wait what!" Kie exclaimed.
"He was yelling on the phone, and I know I heard him say 'Ward', he was telling him to stay put and that he was supposed to be dead, etcetera, etcetera." I explained.
"Shit." Sarah cursed slumping back against the house just as her phone chimed from her pocket. Scowling, she lifted the phone to show Kie and I who the message was from. "Wheezy..."
"What?" Kie questioned looking at me surprised.
"I texted her when I got in." Sarah explained running her fingers across the screen to play the message.
'Sarah don't be mad, but I ran away. I'm in the OBX and I have to see you.' Wheezy's voice came through the speaker, and I felt my own frown deepen as I listened. 'Come to our rental condo on Greensboro Street, okay? But Sarah, please don't tell anyone.'
"That's not suspicious at all." I murmured looking up at Sarah, her face wrinkled with worry.
"I have to go, I mean, it's her." Sarah said quickly, moving to stand up.
"Yes, but since when does Wheezy want you to keep a secret and why wouldn't she just go to Tannyhill, Wheezy loves your brother." I said standing up with her looking to Kie for any help.
"Sarah, I don't like this, it seems kind of fishy." Kie stated and I nodded.
"I know, but what if it's really her, I can't just leave her." Sarah sighed before giving us a small smile. I looked at Kie and with a small nod I quickly caught up to Sarah.
"I'm coming with you." I stated, with a simple smile. "Look my dad's back, and he was talking to Ward... so there is a chance that this isn't real. I'm not going to let you walk into that fire alone." She put her arm over my shoulder and leaned her head to the side.
"I'm sorry about John B." I finally after we walked for a bit in silence. "He loves you; you know that."
"But he doesn't trust me... or his dad doesn't, which means he just... he's..."
"Confused?" I offered and she gave me a sad nod.
"JJ does too you know." she said after a brief moment of silence. "Love's you I mean."
"I don't think he thinks it's enough, and I don't know how to change his mind." I sighed stopped at the dock leading to the small boat shack behind the rental house. "You sure about this?"
"Yeah, either way, I can't keep hiding from them." she answered nodding as the breeze blew a few strands of hair in front of her face.
"Want me to go in with you?" I asked.
"No, I'll...I'll call if I need you." she answered, and I reluctantly stopped following her down the dock and watched her enter the shack. Leaning on the rail I closed my eyes letting the breeze from the ocean whistle past me. We had been home for two days, but it felt like weeks... felt like we never left. As if on que to my thoughts heavy feet coming down the ramp pulled me from my thoughts. The pounding of my heart that hadn't stop since Sarah disappeared only got worse as I saw the man marching down towards me.
"Rumors are true then I guess." he said loudly, not a hint of humor in his voice. "Your mother being in my home, that you're doing too?"
"Yeah, I was just dying to have mom run in and pick up the pieces you broke." I shot of sarcastically rolling my eyes. He stalked up to me quicker. I turned to face, determined to hold my ground. Sarah was right, no more hiding. "How's the shoulder?" I asked with a small smirk crossing my arms as he stopped in front of me. He towered over me, but this time I didn't cower away, I just looked up at him.
"An annoyance," he answered. "On par for the one who shot me. Couldn't even kill me. You won't get another shot Rowyn. If you wanted me gone, that was it, now... now I know who you really are..."
"And Kildare knows who you are." I interrupted narrowing my eyes. "And guess what dad, they could care less about me. About who I am, but man, Ward's family leaves and Greg Daniels, infamous lawyer of Ward, who openly admitted to his crimes that you defended him on... you lost everything, and you did it on your own." I struck a nerve because he had been backed up against the rail quicker than I could process. One of his hands had my upper arm with a bruising grip and his other grabbed the hair at the back of my head pulling my head back with it. Tears sprang to the corner of my eyes as I felt the hair pull and rip from my scalp. His face came down close moving so his lips were by my ear.
"Don't pretend you didn't play a role in this. You couldn't just play your part," he whispered.
"The only part I should have played was being a kid." I ground out, one of my hands reaching back to grip his wrist behind my head. Keeping my teeth clenched, I kept my gaze hard as I turned slightly so I could look at him. "I was never good enough, and you never wanted me. Why should I have done 'ANYTHING' for you."
His hand moved from my hair to my jaw, forcing me to look at him, the hand on my arm squeezed harder. He scowled, his dark eyes meeting mine as if trying to convey a message, to prove a point, but I was holding my ground. We stood like that for a minute in silence, other than my breathing, and pounding heart, the only other sound I could hear was the waves in the distance. To my complete surprise my dad released my jaw almost pushing it away slightly, chuckling. We both turned towards the boat house as Sarah exited angrily. But that anger faded into surprise when she looked up to see my dad cornering me.
Sarah moved quickly to get to me, and I took my father's momentary distraction as an opportunity to pull my arm away and slide out from in front of him. She had her eyes on me the whole time, and by the time she was beside me I was finally able to let my father's gaze go and start to turn around and leave. His hand moved fast to snatch my wrist and pull me back. I grimaced at the pain that shot up my arm.
"Let her go!" Sarah exclaimed, coming up behind me but my dad didn't pay any attention to the outburst. His eyes were on mine again, a smirk set on his face... something that looked wrong on him.
"You have no idea what you are in the middle of." he whispered, "Your friends and you... if you are going to take someone down, make sure you don't miss. Otherwise, you will have to keep looking over your shoulder."
"Greg!" Ward called, coming to the door of the boat house, being sure to stay hidden. Ward's voice was almost demanding, like he was telling my dad to let me go, to leave any vengeful thoughts where they were. My father looked over his shoulder at Ward before looking back at me as I yanked my wrist free, falling back into Sarah, who put her arms around my shoulders protectively.
"You two be careful." my father said, keeping his voice low before turning to follow Ward into the shack. Sarah pulled me with her down the dock, looking over her shoulder continuously until we were off it and several feet away from the rental property.
"Oh my God Rowyn, I am so sorry. I had no idea... If I had... It was a trap... but I thought..." Sarah was talking fast and panicked, and I had to push my own panic aside to squeeze her hand.
"You don't need to apologize." I said, making sure to keep my voice from trembling. Every part of my body felt like it was tingling. My chest felt tight, my heart was still pounding, my hands were shaking, and I was fighting back the tears in my eyes.
"Are you okay?" she asked after taking a deep breath. Taking in a shaky breath I looked up at the sky and let it out before putting my hand to my chest and moving to the side of the road to sit down.
"I... I just need a second." I finally said swallowing the lump in my throat and breathing through the tightness in my chest and the overwhelming panic I could feel trying to pull me down.
"Do you want me to call Kie or JJ?" she asked kneeling down in front of me.
"Just... Just sit for a second." I said and she quickly sat beside me. Laying my head on her shoulder I closed my eyes, and I felt her hand squeeze my knee. We sat there while I took several deep breaths, finally feeling the world come back. Eventually we stood up and we made our way back towards Kie's. Kie was quick to ask all the same questions Sarah had, and whether she believed my answers or not, finally stopped asking.
With her parents at their restaurant for the party, Kie let Sarah and I borrow clothes for the party before leaving to go down to The Wreck. Once there we were put to work, and I made a point to do as much as I could in order to avoid the Carrera's, still unsure how they felt about me after my outburst, and to forget what had happened only hours earlier. Before long, people started showing up and the grill was turned on. The lights around the yards lit up as the sunset, and there was laughter everywhere.
"So, Wards officially back." Kie said as we walked to an empty table drink in hand. "And him and your dad are working together on something."
"Yep, he's back." Sarah nodded.
"My dad isn't happy about it either." I added sipping the drink. The Carrera's had splurged on the alcohol and were too busy to notice any minors drinking any of it.
"Are you sure you're okay Roe?" Kie asked again her eyes falling on my wrist and upper arm, both with visible bruises on them. I followed her gaze before looking back up at her and smiling.
"Yes, I'm fine, and these will heal." I reassured her.
"The second I see Ward... I am turning him in I swear." Kie muttered looking back at Sarah. "I don't know how you two do it, I mean every time I want to complain about my dad... I just think about your dads..."
"Ha ha." I grinned rolling my eyes.
"Glad to be of service." Sarah added with a small smile.
"Works every time." Kie chuckled squinting into the sun sheepishly. We all giggled, and Sarah looked around and her smile fading as her eyes found Topper standing with his mom and dad.
"You didn't tell me Topper was gonna be here." Sarah said quickly looking up at Kie.
"Sorry." Kie shrugged. "My mom invited like the whole island."
"Shit." she cursed, and I watched Topper from the corner of my eye, still watching us from his place across the yard.
"I mean, it's not a big deal really." I tried to easy her anxiety.
"Yeah, we'll keep him away." Kie added quietly bringing the straw of her drink up to her lips. As if on que, Topper excused himself from his parents and started walking towards us. Looking at Kie I stood up straight and started to turn around.
"Awesome, I think I'm gonna..." I let my voice fade as I stepped away and turned towards the boats in the marina.
"Please don't..." Sarah whispered.
"We're just gonna go over here." Kie said following me and I couldn't help but smile a little. "We won't be far."
"Yeah, just way the word..." I said turning to her before nodding towards Topper as he approached. "How's it going Topper?"
"Good, good." he nodded, "Hey Kie. How are ya."
"Oh hey," Kie said turning around towards him. "I didn't even see you bro." I had to stifle my laugh and turn away as she spoke.
"Uh, you do these decorations?" He continued and I wanted to groan loudly, wanting the awkward conversation to end. "It's beautiful."
"Yeah... Party City." she nodded.
"It's a great selection." Sarah added and I rolled my eyes officially turning away.
"God this is painful." I muttered for only Kie to hear, and she met my eyes and nodded. I could hear the two talk for only a few minutes, keeping the conversation simple. I could hear in Topper's voice the hope for his and Sarah's relationship, and in Sarah's I could hear the desperation for it to all disappear. She cared for Topper, he was her first real boyfriend, but the way she talked about him versus John B., Topper wasn't her end all, he was just a stepping stone. She just didn't know how to break it to him, and a public party, probably wasn't the best place.
"See ya Roe, bye Kie." Topper finally called and both Kie and I turned giving him half waves in return. Walking back up to Sarah I raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, that didn't seem too bad." I commented.
"At least he kept it short." Kie shrugged. Commotion at the stage where the band was playing drew our attention to Mike jumping up and reaching for the microphone.
"Hang on, hang on." Mike called, waving his hand at the band and at the party goers queuing everyone to quiet down. "I just want to say a few words, and I'm not much into giving speeches, but I do want to say thank you for coming out and thank you for your support after a rough few months. I want to say thank you to our daughter for being here." He turned his glass towards Kie. I stepped to the side, so I wasn't part of the 'awes' from the crowd. I felt a pang of jealousy as I watched Mike look at Kie with love and I wished I could know what that felt like, if just for a second. Kie looked uncomfortable as she gave everyone a small wave before smiling at her dad on the stage. "Hey, we love you. But most of all... come here..." he reached his hand out to Anna standing below him, helping her up to stand beside him now, "thank you Anna for 15 years for making this restaurant a symbol of our life. I love you."
"I love you too." Anna smiled, leaning into her husband, and I found myself smiling at them. They really did love each other. I may not agree with their parenting and views, but I couldn't deny they loved each other.
"Figure 8, The Cut... everyone's together here." Mike added, raising his glass. "As one island, so... thank you for putting up with us... cheers." Everyone around raised their glasses and called out cheers applauding the Carrera's as they exited the stage and the band started up again. They both walked over to Kie giving her a hug. Sighing, I started walking back towards the edge of the yard leaning on a fence watching the party.
"Rowyn?" My name came from beside me, and I turned quickly, recognizing it immediately.
"I thought you left." I said, facing my mom. She was dressed in a sundress but still seemed out of place. She kept looking around the crowd, and I knew she was looking to see if my dad was around. She was nervous. "Where's Tucker and the kids?"
"They left this morning, before..." she started looking at her hands. "Rowyn, I don't know if you got my..."
"Oh, I got it." I nodded, pulling the note from its place in my pocket of the dress. "At least you told me you were leaving this time... you really had me going this time too... I actually thought you were going to stay."
"Oh honey, I wanted to." she stepped forward reaching her hand out to me but I just scowled and stepped back. "But your father, when he came through that door today... Please understand I just can't be around him, I dealt with him for years..."
"Me too mom." I crossed my arms. "Why are you here, you already said you were going."
"I couldn't just leave with that note, I had to see you, talk with... Rowyn." She said my name again and I finally met her eye, pleading in them. "I want you to come with me, back to the mainland. Away from here, this island your father."
"Are you serious?" I asked with a scowl. "Leave?"
"Yes, Tucker and the kids, we want you to live with us." she was nearly begging now. "Before I realize I tried to force you, but now I am asking you."
"I told you before I wasn't going with you. You may have come back and tried, but it doesn't change my mind." I shook my head. "My friends are here, my 'family' is here. I'm not leaving them, not bailing on Sarah or Kie or JJ..."
"Honey, JJ...I know you care about him, and I know he loves you but..." I narrowed my eyes as she spoke, "he is struggling with his place, and maybe that place isn't with you. Love is hard and tricky, and your heart will tell you one thing. Leaving may be what's best for you and him... for him to figure your where or if he fits into your life..." Her words struck me, and my brain snapped back to the conversation I had had with JJ on the dock.
'...you are a Kook and you can't hide from that, not really, and I need to figure out where I fit into the mix, if at all...'
"What the hell did you do?" I clenched my jaw and saw her eyes widen as she realized what she'd said. "It was you, you're the one that put those thoughts in his head... of fitting in, of not being right for me..."
"Honey, I was just... I know how hard it is, and loving the wrong guy..."
"You have no right to decide if he is 'right' or 'wrong'" I nearly yelled but I kept my voice low so people around us didn't start staring.
"I knew Luke back in the day, Rowyn, and I know what he did before he left..."
"JJ is NOT Luke and if you actually tried to get to know him, you would have realized that." I stated. "You keep coming back into my life, like you get a say in what I do, in who I am friends with. I gave you a chance, but that didn't give you the right to interfere in my life, to try and control my life."
"I wasn't trying to... I was just trying to look out for you. Protect you." She stammered but I was too angry to care about her feelings right now.
"You, coming back, trying to control my life after years has hurt me more than JJ ever has or will." I stated. "Any chance of having a relationship with me ended the moment you tried to step in between me and my friends and my business. You can go back to the mainland, but I am not, and will not go with you." It was harsh, maybe mean, and I would probably feel some form of guilt about my words later, but right now I had to find JJ.
"Rowyn please..." she reached for me as I turned to leave spotting John B. making his way down the dock. "I just wanted to help, to protect you. I thought... I didn't want to lose you again."
"Yeah... well you should have thought about that before you said anything." I said turning back to her, seeing the tears in her eyes as she looked back at me, but I just shook my head, "Go back to your real family... and this time, just leave me alone." I pulled my arm back before she could grab it and I turned my back to her, ignoring any sound of crying behind me. John B. was on a mission the moment his feet hit the ground and he instantly found Sarah, a smile spreading across his face. I winced knowing what Sarah had done and how John B. would take it.
I followed the direction he had come from and found the HMS Pogue parked along the dock, and in it was a blonde head looking over the back trying to hide. Slowly I made my way towards it, looking over my shoulder at the party. My mother was gone, and no one seemed to be watching me as I approached the boat.
"JJ?" I called out once I was in front of him. He looked up surprised and I smirked. "John B. ran into the party, figured you were somewhere nearby."
"Just uh... thought I should keep my distance." he responded pulling himself out of the boat to stand in front of me. "Didn't really want to spoil the party you know what I'm saying..."
"You know, I was wondering where you guys ran off too after everything yesterday." I said quietly looking at my hands before looking up at him. There was so much I wanted to tell him. "Are you okay?"
"No... uh..." he said quickly looking around us before continuing. "Look long story short, we're mounting a full search and rescue mission right now, because Big John got nabbed."
"Wait nabbed? What are do you mean?" I scowled confused.
"Uh, snatched, kidnapped, abdjucted. That kind of thing." he exclaimed moving forward, putting his hands on my shoulder before he continued. "To South America... by Singh." my heart sank at the name and my eyes got wide with surprise and a hint of fear. "Yeah, I know Roe, but what we have to do is get down there as soon as we can."
"To South America?" I asked looking back at the party and then him. "Right now?"
"Yeah, I know it's a long shot but we're making a plan right now." he said, and I just scowled and put my hands up taking a step back shaking my head with a chuckle of disbelief.
"Are you kidding me right now Jay?" I questioned annoyance laced in my voice. "After yesterday, after everything with Kie's dad and then telling me to walk away, you're going to come her like 'hey, we're all good, let's go to South America' like nothing happened?"
"So... so is that's a no?" He seemed offended by my lack of interest in the 'mission'. "Uh... you're just gonna ghost us?"
"Ghost you?" I repeated frustrated. "You told me to leave, you told me to let you think. You ghosted me first JJ. You pushed me away and left me wondering what the hell happened."
"Okay... yeah, but..." he started cringing as I spoke. "Roe..."
"I know what my mom told you Jay, she told me what she said." I interrupted and he stopped pacing where he was and turned his head away from me. Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward and let my temper calm before continuing. "JJ, she had no right to say anything to you. She doesn't know you, or me for that matter and has no business deciding what I deserve or need or where I fit."
"Rowyn, we don't have time for this." he said in a breath out in a groan.
"Make time JJ! This whole running to South America thing can wait for two second for you to stop running from me."
"Okay, so you're saying you don't wanna be part of the plan." He put up his hands in defeat ignoring the point I was trying to make all together. "When Big John is up for execution right now? Okay cool... that's no, all right... that's all I needed to know"
"What is wrong with you?" I asked, my voice breaking as I felt my heart sink as he started to walk away. "I am trying here, and you're acting like you don't care... I love you JJ, but you're acting like I... shouldn't or I don't..."
"Roe..." he stopped putting his hand to his head running his fingers through his hair before turning towards me. I thought I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes, but it was quickly buried by frustration and annoyance. This was the look JJ gave me all those years back, when he didn't want me around, when he didn't think I belonged... "Look it's not going to work okay? You and me... us... it just, it doesn't work. There isn't a happy ending for us." he said, bowing his head before standing up a bit straighter. "I'm gonna go help my best friend save his father. Maybe I'll see you when I get back."
"Yeah." I said softly stepping back staring at JJ like he was a stranger as I did so, "Maybe." I didn't wait for any additional response. I turned and walked back down the pier, in desperate need of something to make the pain in my chest disappear. I saw Sarah at a table chugging a glass of wine and quickly grabbed two more drinks from a tray and brought them over.
"Take it the conversation with John B. didn't go well?" I asked, handing her the drink noting the tears running down her cheeks.
"Nope." she shook her head, her voice cracking as she accepted the drink. "I really screwed this one up." I reached for her hand and lifted it letting her click her glass against mine before we both drank the alcohol in a few gulps. Topper was quick to come over and grab the drink from her hand. I took a step to the side keeping my drink at my lips ignoring Topper's questions to Sarah. I stayed close, to be sure Sarah didn't need me, but I felt the air change when she leaned into him for a hug and John B started making his way through the party.
"Crap." I muttered, finishing the second drink I stole from a passing tray before stepping towards Sarah and Topper just as John B. approached them.
"Oh Shit." Topper said pulling away from Sarah. "No, no, not right hear bro, not right here."
"John B." Sarah warned trying to step in front of him.
"Out of my way." He stated, looking at Sarah with anger and malice.
"We're not doing this." Topper insisted, putting his hands up and stepping back.
"Feel good about yourself?" John B asked, pushing past Sarah and shoving Topper back.
"John B. you need to chill out bro." Topper said, and I moved pushing John B back. He looked down at me surprised but I could see the hurt and betrayal in his eyes from what Sarah had done and it broke my heart more.
"John B. don't... he isn't worth it." I said quietly hoping to break through the fog.
"For once in your life, would you please just turn around and walk away!" Sarah instructed, turning him around so his back was to Topper and me and she could look John B. in the eye and plead with him. "Please, look at me, please don't."
"Hey, no hard feelings bro." Topper added, and I spun around and glared at him.
"For fuck's sake Topper, shut up for once." I exclaimed. "This is your fault to begin with, so just shut the fuck up."
"Come on Roe, this isn't on me. He's the one that can't figure it out and keep his girl." Topper rolled his eyes lifting his hand to John B. The moment the words left his mouth it had been a mistake. John B spun around away from Sarah faster then she could stop him, and he shoved past me punch Topper across the face. The blonde fell to the ground hard.
"You like that shit Top?" John B. asked shaking out his hand as he stood over him.
"Stop John B." Sarah begged. I stepped up just as John B knelt over Topper and lifted him landing another punch. Grabbing John B.'s shoulder I tried to pull him back.
"Shit, John B. stop." I ground out trying to push him back, but John B. hardly budged as he landed another punch.
"John B.!" Kie called and as John B raised his fist again, I fell back next to him.
"Stop!" Sarah cried, "What are you doing?" Mike was the first one over ripping John B. from an unconscious Topper, Mrs. Thornton moving quickly to her son holding his head. Standing, I followed Mike and John B. as the older man tossed John B. forward into JJ. The whole scene was chaos as Mike yelled at John B. and JJ and Sarah cried beside Topper. I stood and watched as John B. and JJ pulled away from the dock and sirens got closer to the party.
Blinking back the tears in my eyes I looked up at the night sky before looking back at the party and meeting Kie's eyes. She was just shaking her head in disbelief, like she couldn't believe it happened or she didn't know what to do now. I didn't have an answer for her, but I knew that I couldn't keep doing this, watching the family I had be broken. It hurt too much.
Turning on my heel, I walked around the crowd of people surrounding Topper and the Carrera's and made my way towards the main road.
"Rowyn, wait!" Kie called after me and I stopped in front of The Wreck. "Where are you going?"
"Tannyhill." I sighed seeing her eyes widen in surprise. "There's a party there."
"Why the hell would you go there, after everything that happened tonight?" she asked, confused.
"Why the hell not Kie? What else am I going to do tonight?"
"Stay, figure out what to do next?" she offered, getting angry.
"Why?" I asked again.
"Because we're Pogues." she stated but there was a question in her voice, like she was trying to convince herself. "And Pogues... we stick together."
"What Pogues?" I couldn't help but laugh at her comment. "There haven't been any Pogues since we set foot back on this island. Everyone is doing and worried about their own thing. Pope and Cleo are doing their own thing, John B and his dad were doing their own thing and now JJ is with John B. no cares to anyone else. You've been so worried about your parent's approval and Sarah is over here hooking up with Topper... The Pogues aren't around anymore Kie."
"That's not true." she shook her head, and I could see her eyes fill with tears.
"Kie... The Pogues... they stayed in the Carribean." I shook my head, taking a step back. "And I'm done trying to find what we left. If nobody is going to care about anyone else, then fuck it... I'm gonna go get drunk and fucking not care." Before she could argue or say anything else I turned and started to walk towards Tannyhill. The rumor around Kildare was Rafe Cameron was throwing a world class party, and it sounded like the perfect place to forget... everything.
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