AN: Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
How dare the Headmistress summon Severus as if he was some misbehaving first year! He was the one who had been wronged, not her. If she thought he would spend his time being berated by her for his terrible evening with Sybil, she had another thing coming. It was him who would be berating her for the humiliation he had to endure.
He pounded on the door, a scowl etched on his face. If all went according to plan, the meeting would only take fifteen minutes. Then, he could continue with the rest of the day, which promised to be productive. There were a few potions experiments he planned to run, and some promising articles sitting on his sitting room coffee table.
"Come in," Minerva called.
He stalked into the room, doing his best to mimic the expression he wore when barking at misbehaving Gryffindors. Per usual, she was not intimidated. If anything, the sight of his face exacerbated her own foul mood. If he were a lesser man he would begin yelling at her, but he had his pride to consider. He'd learned from the Marauders the danger of letting a Gryffindor under one's skin. No, he wouldn't play into her hands.
"Why have I been summoned?" The door slammed behind him.
"Is that a genuine question?" She asked.
"What do you think?" He pulled the brown leather chair from in front of her desk and sat upon it, his arms crossed over his chest.
She glared at him. "Last night, Sybil said her blind date went poorly."
"No, my blind date went poorly. Her blind date didn't hex her, meaning it went better than it should've."
"She was devastated a colleague would treat her so horridly."
"I was appalled a colleague would sexually harass me in a tavern full of people."
"She told me she regrets ever caring for you."
"Her only regret is that she did not receive a good night kiss."
"She called you a heartless bastard."
"You act as if she's the first person to do so."
"She said you were cheating on Rosmerta."
"That was rather despicable of me, wasn't it?" Severus smirked. "It is quite rude to take a blind date to the business owned by your other ex. Next time, I should take Rosmerta's emotions into account before parading my string of blind dates in front of her."
Minerva slanted her eyebrows.
"Fortunately, that blind date with Sybil brought us both back to our senses," he smirked. "Rosmerta and I have decided to rekindle our torrid love affair."
"Do you find this amusing?"
He lowered his voice. "Not in the slightest."
"You stomped on poor Sybil's heart," She argued. "She considered you a friend."
"Friends do not attempt to grope each other."
"I agree that Sybil can be a bit much…"
"She attempted to kiss me without my consent."
"That was wrong, but you could have just made it clear you only wanted to speak with her, no touching."
"She called me Prince Charming."
"She what?" Minerva raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, she called me Prince Charming and attempted to regale me with her visions of us in compromising positions, images I spent the rest of the evening expelling from my mind." He shuddered at the thought of her body pressed against his.
"She said in her visions, you were quite happy with her."
"Has it ever occurred to you that Sybil is a fraud who is an insult to the term 'divination professor?'"
"She's always admired you," Minerva continued. "Even when you were Headmaster, she wanted us to give you a chance."
"I would say I appreciate her loyalty, but she was also the one who said she hoped I broke my ankle tripping over one of her crystal balls."
"She said that?"
He nodded.
"That was the nicest thing any of us said to you that year," She answered.
"That would be correct."
Minerva softened her expression. "Would it have been so awful to stick through that date with her? She only wanted to make you happy."
"If she wants to make me happy, she can move to Timbuktu," he answered.
Minerva shook her head.
"I know the real reason you put us together on that date," he continued. "She gave you a bottle of your favorite scotch."
Minerva opened her mouth to argue, but closed it under the weight of his glare. For that, Severus was grateful. This meeting was grating enough without having to listen to her feeble defense.
"This bet has nothing to do with my being happy, but with your need to humiliate me," he continued.
"I assure you, this bet is not meant to humiliate you, but to bring you happiness."
"How is being groped and sexually harassed all evening making me happy?"
"Was Sybil that terrible?"
"Yes!"
Minerva sighed as she slumped into her chair.
"You've had your fun. I have been humiliated for losing your bet," he argued. "Now please allow me to get on with my life."
"You know I cannot do that."
"Why? Because you want to snatch the 'Most Meddlesome Headmaster of All Time' award from Albus?"
"I wasn't that terrible," Albus' portrait called out.
Both Minerva and Severus turned to it and snapped, "Yes you were."
Dumbledore's portrait closed his mouth.
"At least we can agree on that," Severus muttered.
"Indeed." Minerva replied. "Though I assure you, I did think you would be happy with Sybil."
"Why?"
"Because she cares for you, odd as she is at expressing it."
"Yes, but I do not care for her."
"Not even a little?"
"Why should I care for someone is attempting to kiss me against my will?" His expression hardened again.
"It was that bad, wasn't it?" Her voice was quieter.
His frown deepened.
"It looks like a discussion on sexual harassment is in order then," she admitted.
"An end to all these dates would be just as appropriate, and just as welcome."
"That I will not do. That being said," she sat up straighter. "I will be more discerning with whom I select for you."
"Oh thank you so much. I should bow before you and kiss your feet for being so gracious."
"Is it so difficult for you to believe that I want what's best for you?" She folded her hands.
"It isn't difficult for me to believe that you are a Gryffindor, and Gryffindors believe they know what's best for everyone, other people's wishes be damned," he answered.
"I'm trying to do what is best for my employees."
"By setting us up on blind dates despite the fact we cannot tolerate being in the same room as each other?"
"Obviously dating Sybil was a terrible idea."
"At least we can agree on that…"
"But there are other women out there, Severus, women who would love you if you gave them half a chance."
"Perhaps I don't want to give them a chance."
"Are you certain you want to be alone the rest of your life?"
"Yes."
Minerva twisted her lower lip.
"I understand that you found love and it was cut short due to tragic circumstances. I do apologize for that. Still, your experience does not apply to everyone. Some of us do not have any romantic inclinations, a fact I wish was more respected."
"I still won the bet, so the blind dates continue."
He snarled at her.
"That being said," She steepled her hands. "I will be more discerning as to who I select."
"You are oh so gracious!"
"Take this as being all in good fun. At the worst you will meet new people and have a few lovely dinners."
"My current list of acquaintances is sufficient for me."
"The only two people who seem to tolerate your existence at the moment aside from myself are Neville and Hermione."
"Admittedly, one could have higher standards than Neville, but Hermione is not a terrible companion."
"No, but she is better off as your friend than your lover."
"On that we can agree," he took notes of the documents on her desk. His eyes fell upon one which read Ernie MacMillan. Qualifications: Member of Dumbledore's Army…
"Well then, I suppose you want to go about your day…"
"You are already putting out a call for job applicants for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position?" Severus asked.
"Yes," she drawled. "Do you now have an interest in it?"
"No, one year of teaching dueling dunderheads was enough for me."
"I would have thought so, though if you have a qualified candidate in mind please let me know. Staff referrals will be given more weight than usual reference. Much as it pains me to say it, your connection with Lucius wouldn't hurt a candidate either."
"A qualified candidate doesn't need Lucius to succeed."
"Yes, but he is only a small factor in why I would like your advice. Given how rarely you endorse anyone for anything, your reference will mean more to me than anyone else's."
"Truly?"
"Truly."
He grunted, trying not to show his slight pleasure at being complimented.
"All that being said," Minerva leaned back in her chair. "I should allow you to get on with the rest of your Sunday while I find a more suitable suitor for you."
"Joy," his smile evaporated.
"I promise, this next one will be different."
"So long as it isn't a colleague calling me, 'prince charming' I will survive it."
"I cannot believe anyone would call you that."
"I supposed I should have expected it given my old moniker."
"Perhaps, and," she cocked her head. "Sometimes you have a certain charm."
"One I doubt these women will ever see," he argued.
"If you would open yourself up to them, they would."
He stood. "Goodbye Minerva. Enjoy the remainder of your weekend."
"I wish you the same."
He strolled out of the office, wishing that his punishment for losing the bet had been to be on the Defense Against Dark Arts Search Committee, not on a series of horrendous blind dates.
It was well-known that Hermione loved books. What was not as well-known was how many she had kept from her youth. Sure, it was expected that she keep her copy of The Tales of Beedle the Barb, but there were books people had expected her to abandon, books which they swore would serve her no purpose in light of disability.
Yet she had kept them. Not only that, but she continued to buy new books, books which kept her occupied when her leg was having a bad day. Sure, some new books were muggle fantasy, others about teaching pedagogy, yet others were much more specialized, and not in her field of study.
She opened her copy of Dark Arts Duelers: Fourth Edition. Then, she leaned back on her couch and read, ignoring the tremor in her left leg.
