Classi, Bitsy, Helen, Jasmine, Shampagne, Hibari, Kikujiro, and Masa had all managed to make it to MGM Grand Signature Residences on 125 E Harmon Ave within twelve minutes.

Helen wasn't even sure how Classi had managed to convince her pimp to invite everyone to his home. Helen had expected him to say no and for Bitsy to throw a hissy fit over it for what she could only hope was the rest of her extremely short natural life... but he didn't. Whoever he was, he was just as intrigued by Bitsy's plot as the rest of the gang seemed to be. And now here they were, ascending in the elevator to the nineteenth floor where he and his friend lived.

"So, erm, who exactly is your pimp, Classi?" Helen asked her.

"Huh?" Then Classi broke out of her confusion. "Oh, right, my pimp. You're probably not that familiar with him, are you? His name's Nathan Costello. He's done some things. Sold steroids, done some breaking and entering, trespassing, contract killing... all that jazz."

"Wow, he... sounds like an interesting character."

Classi nodded. "For sure. He's got a roommate with him named Mimallah, Mimsy for short. He's actually Nathan's only friend, but they sure don't seem like friends. Mimsy's more a lackey of his than a friend."

"Interesting."

Soon enough, everyone had arrived at Nathan and Mimsy's door.

"This is where he lives, right?" Jasmine asked.

"Yeah, it is," Classi confirmed. "Not to worry, I've got this."

Classi knocked on the door and then waited a few seconds before Nathan opened up. "Things Are Gonna Get Easier" by Low Motion Disco could be heard softly playing in the background.

Nathan was a fair-skinned man standing at a height of 5'2", and he had his head looking up at an angle to one side, which gave him a snobbish and elitist appearance and vibe. He had squinty eyes, long dirty blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, stubble on his large chin, steel blue eyes, and he wore tinted glasses (they might've been sunglasses or prescription lenses or both) with white pearls on them. He was wearing a teal tracksuit and a gold necklace.

"Classi, what are you doing back here?" Nathan asked. "And who are these people with you and Bitsy?"

Bitsy couldn't help but snicker when she saw him. Was this guy, this dumpy creepy-looking weirdo, actually Classi's pimp?

"We came here because we need your help with something," Classi replied.

"What's with this 'we' business? You still haven't answered my question about those other people with you."

Classi just sighed and explained the whole situation to him, including that Bitsy had gotten the yakuza involved. Once everything was explained, Nathan proceeded to let everyone inside so they could discuss things further.

Helen proceeded to take a good look around the palace. "That's... some home you have here."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Nathan replied. "It's beautiful, isn't it? It's where all my bitches and hoes go to play and have fun."

At that moment, Mimsy stepped out to see what was going on.

Mimsy was a fair-skinned man standing at a height of 5'10". He was balding and had messy brown hair and brown eyes. He also appeared to have strabismus in both eyes and had an extremely large, square chin. He wore a light blue tracksuit and a gold necklace, similar to Nathan.

"Boss, who are these people?" Mimsy asked.

At that point, Bitsy could no longer suppress her giggles and just straight-up started laughing.

"They're our new partners, Mimsy," Nathan replied while trying to ignore Bitsy. "They've recruited us to help with a very special project."

Mimsy scratched the back of his head, confused. "Why is Bitsy laughing at us, boss?"

Bitsy continued to laugh further. "Isn't it obvious? Look at you! You two look like you lure children into your van with the promise of candy and then molest them!"

Mimsy was still confused. "We don't look like the kind of people who do that, right, boss?"

Nathan smacked Mimsy with a right hook and then shook his fist. "Shut up, Mimsssyyy!" Nathan then cleared his throat. "No, Bitsy, we're not sick in the head like that. That doesn't mean we don't get comments like that from time to time, though. Anyway, when can we get started?"

"As soon as we all head back to New York," Bitsy replied. "That won't be until three days from now. Keep in mind that at the rate things have been going, it may take us over a year before we can fully get the plan off the ground."


They were supposed to have been staying in Las Vegas for five days, but they had to cut the trip short on the third day when Bitsy got a call from Goldie and Maya that their cousin Ambrosia and her husband Simon had been killed in a car bombing and that their double funeral was scheduled for that weekend. The news of the tragic incident had left everyone on both sides of the family in shock and disbelief, especially since they didn't seem to have any enemies as far as anyone was concerned.

In any case, Bitsy and Helen had to attend the double funeral, as did everyone else in their group. Hopefully, no one would find an additional seven people attending the funeral to be too suspicious or anything. Bitsy had never particularly cared for her late brother's numerous descendants (with a couple of exceptions), but Goldie and Maya were going to attend the funeral along with Spinel and their other relatives, so she couldn't really pass it up.

Eventually, Saturday arrived and everyone in Bitsy's group had made it to the funeral, which was being held at the Yorgensen-Meloan-Londeen Funeral Home. Once inside, they spotted the only empty seats available to them and sat down. Even while they were sitting in the middle of the very back row, they could tell that the attendants were somber and teary-eyed over having to say goodbye to the couple of the hour.

It was a good thing this was a double closed-casket funeral, as no one could bear to see how badly injured the deceased couple were without heaving up whatever they had for lunch that day.

At the forefront, a priest went up to the stand and started speaking.

"We're gathered here today to say goodbye to Ambrosia Brandenham Ferguson and her husband Simon Ferguson and to commit them into the hands of God," the priest began. "I understand that every single attendant is here because, for better or worse, they made a tremendous impact in your life. I also understand that they were violently and tragically killed before their time could truly come, and that how they died was truly a horrible way to go."

A few attendants murmured in agreement at this.

"They had so many more plans for the future that now will never come to pass," the priest continued. "As we prepare to reunite their souls with their body and with Christ, let us rejoice in what they shared with us while they were here. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

While the priest began to give a homily, Jasmine looked around and noticed that most of the people in attendance were from Ambrosia's (and by extension, Bitsy's) side of the family. It seemed that Simon didn't have many family members.

There, for example, was Bitsy's maternal first cousin Daphne Blake. Daphne had tan skin, ocean blue eyes, and coiled red hair that spread out onto her shoulders and was held back with a purple headband. With her was her husband Fred Jones, a respected citizen of the Fort Peck Assiniboine and Sioux Tribe. Like Daphne, he was also tan, but he had graying blond hair and brown eyes. Then there was Norville Rogers (or Shaggy, as he liked to be called) and his wife Velma Dinkley. Like Fred, Shaggy was also a citizen of the Fort Peck Assiniboine and Sioux Tribe. He was tan and had dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, as well as a soul patch on his chin. As for Velma, she was a sansei whose mother and grandparents had experienced the horrors of anti-Japanese racism firsthand during World War II. Like her ancestors before her, she had dark brown hair that appeared to be black under certain lighting, dark brown eyes, and pale skin.

The priest then began to recite: "Lord our God, you are the source of life. In you we live and move and have our being. Keep us in life and death in your love, and, by you grace, lead us to your kingdom, Through your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord."

The congregation then replied with, "Amen."

The rest of the funeral just seemed to zoom by like a blur, with Ambrosia's younger sister Daisy and Simon's younger sibling Peri giving eulogies and the priest spouting out more Bible passages that seemed pertinent to the service before playing a video slideshow that was set to Judy Collins' "Send In The Clowns" and Ed Sheeran's "Supermarket Flowers." After that, it was seemingly over just as quickly as it had started. With the funeral done and over with, it was now time to attend the wake at Ambrosia and Simon's house. Jasmine decided that Bitsy and the rest of the group would be sticking around for the event despite Bitsy's protests, figuring that it would do her some good to spend time with her extended family instead of shutting herself up in her penthouse.

"God, I'm absolutely famished," Bitsy muttered.

"Well, I could get us some food if you want me to," Jasmine said. "Wanna come with?"

"No, I think I'd rather stick with Helen."

"Okay, suit yourself."

Jasmine headed off to the table for food and drinks. She started gathering up some portions from dishes that Daisy and her family had made, including some banana sheet cake, when she heard a couple people talking beside her. She craned his neck around to see that Brendan and his girlfriend Molly were right there.

"Oh, hey, Brendan," Jasmine said. "How are things going with you and Molly?"

"Pretty good," Brendan replied. "We've both been pretty busy with college, though, so I've had to put my kite-flying on hold until I have more free time."

"Sorry to hear that. What about Molly? Is she having any luck finding someone who will publish 'Fisti-Puffs?'"

"She's managed to find at least one publisher, but we don't know if they'll go for it or not. We'll see."

"Ah, okay. It's just that your cousins told me great things about 'Fisti-Puffs.' They made it sound like something along the lines of Captain Underpants, which I loved as a kid."

"Neat. Hey, how's Aunt Bitsy doing? I hope she didn't take Aunt Whitney's death too badly."

"Well, she's just been... coping, that's all I can say."

"I don't know what you mean by that, but okay. Guess Molly and I will go off to see Rabbi Cartman now."

"Alright, you go do that."

After Brendan and Molly walked off to find Rabbi Cartman and his family, Jasmine walked back to Bitsy with two plates of food in her hands.

"Brendan asked about you," Jasmine told Bitsy.

"Shit," Bitsy practically hissed. "Do you think he's onto us?"

"Nah, I think he just wanted to know how you were doing."

"Oh. Well, I don't want word getting out about what we're up to. Otherwise, it'll all have been for nothing."

Then as if on cue, Daphne and Fred walked up to where Jasmine, Helen, and Bitsy were.

"Hey, Bitsy!" Daphne greeted. "How was Las Vegas?"

Bitsy feigned excitement. "It was great. I got to stay at Planet Hollywood with Helen and Jasmine. You should've been there. Best casino-slash-resort in the world."

"I'm glad you had fun. Oh, it's been a long time since we saw each other like this."

"We saw each other last month at my 73rd birthday, actually."

"Still, I can hardly believe we never see each other anymore. Why, just recently, Fred and I got to go to Hawaii for our annual Ryan family reunion. You should've been there, Bitsy. Patrick and Mindy introduced their new baby Quilene to all of us, and she is just so adorable! And they're raising her with their partners Robert, Edward, and Sandy; so Quilene will get plenty of love and then some."

Daphne continued to go on and on like that, just talking about the Ryan family reunion and all the banal things that could entail at such an event without even letting Bitsy get a word in edgewise. At least when it came to the Brandenham family reunions, something interesting was bound to happen at one of those (even if Bitsy had to be the one to instigate it). Eventually, and not a moment too soon, Daphne wrapped up her story.

"Sounds like it was a blast," Bitsy said, trying to sound interested. "How's the rest of the family doing?"

Now it was Fred's turn to speak. "Pretty good. You remember Janice, don't you?"

"Um, no."

"Well, she got a hot new job offer for working over at Ralph Lauren Corporation. God, Daphne and I are so proud of our little girl. It's just amazing how far she's come."

"Oh, wow, congratulations."

Bitsy then signaled Helen to get her out of the conversation somehow. Helen decided to pretend there was an emergency back at the Brandenham Hotel and used that as an opportunity to get Bitsy and the rest of the group out of the wake early.