The first strike was painful, and Janus stumbled back, still laughing. That only seemed to infuriate Logan more and he bellowed and lunged for Janus again, knocking him back into a wall. The table that was there tumbled over, the crystal lamp tinkling as it hit the floor. Logan neither noticed nor cared as he threw another punch at Janus's face. A cut opened up on his cheek and a thick, yellow substance poured out. Still, he grinned, baring fangs that Logan hadn't ever seen before.
"Did I make you angry, Logan?" he asked.
"Shut up!" Logan shouted, grabbing Janus's shoulders and slamming his head back into the wall. Janus laughed again, a soft, sibilant noise. Logan snarled and slammed his head back harder.
For a moment, Janus was dazed by the blow before he looked at Logan and flashed his fangs again. "How are you feeling now?"
Logan gave a wordless cry and began to hit him, again and again, mindless with rage. After half a dozen strikes, he threw Janus across the room. Janus rolled onto his back and stared up at him. Bruises bloomed on his face, and there were no doubt more forming under his clothes. Yellow dripped down his cheek from the long slice.
"How are you feeling, Logan?" he repeated. Logan shouted again and lunged forward.
"Stop it!" Patton shouted. He looked frightened as he began to wriggle again. "Stop fighting!"
Roman bucked up. "Get off of me, knave!"
Remus only laughed, glee on his face as he kept his twin immobilized. This was fun! "Bite his face off, Logan!" he crowed.
Roman and Patton continued to try and get free as Logan kicked Janus across the floor. Janus twisted up to his feet, holding tender ribs as Logan glared at him, daring him to ask again.
"Still waiting for an answer, Logan," Janus said.
"Stop asking!" Logan cried, his fists clenching at his sides as he tried to regain control.
"It doesn't matter then?" Janus asked. "It's doesn't matter how you feel? But we all know that repression is a bad thing. You said it yourself."
"I am not repressing my emotions!" Logan bellowed. "I am Logic! I don't have icky, stupid, confusing feelings!"
"Liar!" Janus roared.
Logan's eyes turned orange again as he tackled Janus to the floor and pinned him. With great force, he began to hit him in the face, again and again.
Patton was crying as he struggled. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! We need to talk, not fight! Please!"
Roman couldn't move either, no matter how he twisted and writhed. Then his eyes landed on Virgil. "Virgil! Stop this!"
Virgil didn't move, his hooded gaze roving from Janus being beaten by Logan to the trapped Patton to Remus restraining Roman. He bit his bottom lip. He knew his choice wouldn't please Patton or Roman at all. But he also knew that Janus was close to breaking through to Logan. They didn't understand. They wouldn't. And he knew he was about to set his relationship with them back several paces. Still, he slowly shook his head a few times. He saw Roman's surprised expression, and Patton gazed at him in disbelief with big, teary eyes. Then he looked back at Janus.
Several more cuts had opened on his face, one on the scales below his eye. Still, he didn't try and fight back, didn't complain as he was hit again and again. Logan was panting with the effort to keep lashing out, and he snarled at Janus.
"Are you going to shut up now?" he shouted. "Are you going to leave me alone?"
Then Janus reached up and snagged his wrists, tugging Logan down to his level. "Not until you tell us how you feel!"
"I don't feel!" Logan roared.
"#&$% it! Stop lying to yourself, Logan! If you don't feel, then why the hell are you beating the $&!# out of me?!" Silence.
Logan's chest heaved as he tried to register the words. What was Janus talking about? He was logic itself! There was no room for lying in logic! Logic was taking the time to puzzle out truth, not reveling in lies. He blinked and stared blankly at Janus, finally seeing through his haze of anger. Janus's face was less than an inch away, swollen and bleeding essence all over his clothes. His human eye was swelling shut, his nose was clearly broken, and his lips were split in two places. This wasn't logical at all. Fighting never was. What was he doing? Something hot trickled down his cheeks, and he reached up to swipe it away. Janus released his wrist and let him. His arm came away wet. He was stunned as he stared down at Janus's wounded face. He was… crying?
"Now how are you feeling, Logan?" Janus asked sincerely.
Logan's face crumpled and he covered his face and began to howl. "I don't know!" he sobbed.
"Then let's talk it out, shall we?"
Remus popped to his feet and snapped his fingers before skipping over to help Janus up. Virgil was already guiding Logan to the sofa, where Logan collapsed and curled up, shaking with emotions that overwhelmed him. Patton took a step forward to help then realized the vines had disappeared at Remus's snap. Roman staggered to his feet and the two Light Sides hurried over and sat on either side of Logan. Roman rather unceremoniously shoved Janus aside, but Virgil moved for Patton without a word. Janus settled himself on the couch while Remus plopped on the floor, conjuring a cloth and passing it over to Janus, who dabbed at his face. Virgil looked between the two groups then just stood there, feeling out of place yet again.
"Get a grip, Logan," Roman said awkwardly. He had never seen Logan break down, and it was scaring him.
"I-I c-c-can't," Logan sobbed, trying to get ahold of himself.
"Hey, hey," Patton said, gently shaking Logan as he gave Roman a look. "It's okay, kiddo. Just feel it. It's okay to cry. That's it, let it out."
Logan continued to cry, bewildered and frightened by the force of emotions buffeting him around. He was lost in a sea of tears, his heart aching as he drew in stuttering breaths. He didn't understand what was going on, and he sat and cried for several minutes, unable to talk as Patton rubbed his back and held him close.
"How are you feeling, Logan?" Janus asked after five minutes, still wiping the dripping essence off his face.
Roman turned to lay into Janus, but Logan spoke before he could. "I-I'm hurt. And angry," he gasped, scrubbing away the tears. "Why doesn't Thomas listen to me? Why doesn't anybody listen to me? Are my contributions even welcome anymore? He wants to get his life together, b-but my plans to do that d-don't seem to matter! He keeps running off when Roman gets a new romantic idea, and then he spends hours with Patton reveling in the new f-feelings! Even Virgil gets time, anxious over every text and phone call! What about the inevitable moment Nico comes over to the house? What then? The house is a complete and utter disaster! Does he take the time to think of the embarrassment it will cause? No! Does he do his laundry, the dishes, or vacuum? No! Does he take five minutes every hour to pick up a few things? No! I try to tell him it'll make him feel better to live in an organized space, but all he wants to do is spend time with Patton, Roman, and Virgil! What about me?!"
And Logan burst into tears again, hiding his face behind his hands and knocking off his glasses. "I t-try to work with all of you! I try to be socially acceptable despite how stupid it is! I take into account all of your feelings, thoughts, and ideas and factor time into the schedule he doesn't use that would make time for all of us! Including Janus and even Remus! Everybody gets time with him but me! Everybody else is more important than me! He's so busy chasing dreams and feelings that he doesn't even think about me! I've made such an effort, but it doesn't matter! It's never enough! I'm never enough! And I can't take it anymore! God, just kill me!"
Patton and Roman looked at each other with wide eyes. They'd had no idea what was going on with Logan. No wonder he'd been hiding away! Virgil shifted and looked embarrassed. He'd known something was wrong, but he'd been afraid to pry. Janus and Remus sat and watched with interest. Janus removed the rag from his puffy lips and essence immediately started flowing again.
"So you're upset and angry," he said, studiously staring at the carpet. "And you've been hiding it why?"
"Oh, like you care," Roman muttered.
Once again, an ugly flush rose up Janus's bruised, bloody face. "I told you I do!" he hissed, glancing away.
"Liar."
Remus was suddenly in Roman's face. "Stop it. Or else we'll play Damsel and Dragon again," he snarled. His pupils turned into slits and smoke poured from his nostrils when he snorted.
Roman flushed and flinched. "What does it matter?" he asked, his voice smaller than usual. "He's obviously lying."
"He's not lying," Virgil said. "He really does care, Roman. And you calling him a liar when he's telling the truth upsets him. A lot. So stop it."
"How are we supposed to know when he's telling the truth?" he demanded in exasperation. "He's the literal embodiment of Deceit!"
Virgil and Remus glanced at each other, at a loss to explain how it worked. "He's not lying this time," was all Virgil said.
"Guys, we're getting off topic," Patton interrupted, gesturing with his eyes toward Logan, who was trying to calm down.
"Right," Janus said, turning back to Logan. "So why are you hiding it?"
Logan flinched. "I don't…"
Patton sighed. "You obviously are, Logan."
"Let him finish, Pat," Virgil said.
"You don't?" Janus prodded, wiping essence off of his chin.
"I don't understand," he whispered. "I've never felt this way before. I'm trapped by my function, my job, but I can't change myself. He's shoved me into the back of his mind and doesn't even want to acknowledge me anymore."
"Sucks dick, don't it?" Remus asked jovially.
"Remus!" Patton snapped.
Logan sniffed and looked up at him. "What do you mean?"
"That's how it's been for us for years," Remus said.
"Welcome to the Dark Sides, Logan," Janus said casually. "The unwanted parts that the Center doesn't even acknowledge. Being shoved back is all we've known. Until recently."
"Really does suck," Virgil muttered, slipping his hands in his pockets and looking down.
"Dick," Remus added.
Virgil's lips twitched. "If you insist."
Remus laughed and reached for his pants. "Great."
"I didn't say I was doing it."
Remus paused then shrugged. "Drop them then," he said, grinning lecherously at Virgil as he licked his lips.
"Maybe later."
"Liar," Janus said at once.
"We are not physical. Sex is not our function," Logan pointed out, though he was intrigued by the interaction. "It's not possible for us to have sex."
"Well, you're no fun," Remus said, making a face. Then he raised his eyebrows. "Fine. I vote we get naked and dance in the rain!" He jumped up and tore off his shirt.
"No," Virgil and Janus said together.
Remus shrugged and continued to strip. "Be that way then."
"Must you disrobe?" Logan asked, his lips curling into a smile. For some reason, the dark humor made him feel a bit better.
"I ain't got nothin' to hide, baby!" Remus laughed. "Unlike some Sides."
Janus and Virgil both stopped smiling, and they quickly looked away. Logan noticed, but Roman and Patton were both watching with horrified fascination as Remus continued to take off his clothes.
"What does that mean?" Roman asked sharply. "And please keep your pants on."
Remus ignored him and shimmied out of his pants then tossed them aside and plopped down on the couch, completely nude, with a grin on his face. "Where were we?" he asked innocently.
"Hiding," Logan said. He squinted. "And I'm missing my glasses."
Virgil knelt down and picked them up off the floor. He cleaned the tears and smudges off of them then handed them over. "Here."
Logan placed them on his face then leaned back and sighed tiredly. Remus waved his hand and conjured a potato then crunched into it idly, crossing his ankle over his knee.
"Hiding," he said through his mouthful. "All of you hide a lot of stuff about yourself. A lot. But not me!"
"Why are you consuming a raw potato?" Logan asked.
Remus swallowed. "I thought about sucking marrow out of bones. I wanted something with crunch. You're lucky it's a potato."
"Could use some hot sauce," Janus murmured, wiping at his cuts again.
Remus nodded and waved his hand to conjure a bottle. "Good point," he said, then dumped hot sauce all over the potato. He took another bite. "Still not as crunchy as bones," he murmured.
Virgil snorted. "Will it do?"
"For now," he grumbled. "I don't like our new friends, Jan. They're making me eat a potato."
"That was your decision," Janus said. "And now you understand."
Remus froze, and suddenly panic exploded on his face. With startling force, he hurled the potato across the room and jumped up. "No! No! I don't want it! I'm not going to start hiding like you two!" he shrieked. Then he turned and bolted toward his room in the Subconscious. Virgil and Janus watched him without a word.
"Sucks dick, don't it?" Janus mocked to nobody in particular.
Virgil stiffened. "Oh, yeah, like you'd understand. Because you're sooo compassionate, aren't you, snake boy?"
Janus blinked and turned to Virgil, narrowing his eyes. "Don't," he hissed.
"Or what? You made it perfectly clear what you thought of it when it happened to me. But I guess since it's you and Remus now…"
"%#*& off, trash panda," Janus growled, gritting his teeth.
"Is something wrong?" Patton asked.
"No," they both snarled at the same time.
"Liars," Logan said calmly. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go and sleep. I didn't rest at all last night."
"Only if we can talk about this later, Logan," Patton said seriously.
"I need to consider things before that," Logan said. "But then we should discuss it. Preferably with everybody present." He paused then looked at Janus and Virgil. "Will Remus be okay?"
"He'll probably be more disgusting and crude than usual, but yes," Janus said, glancing away.
"Oh yeah, you understand that," Virgil grumbled.
Janus's eyes flashed and he stood up and grabbed his hat off the arm of the couch. "Go to hell, Virgil," he snapped, placing it on his head. He spun on his heel and stormed toward his room in the Subconscious.
"Can't! You're there!" Virgil barked.
Janus flipped him off as he disappeared down the stairs to the Subconscious.
Vigil let out a strange, guttural noise then noticed the others staring at him. He flushed and pulled his hood lower.
"You two seem to be very angry at each other," Logan said.
"One problem at a time," Virgil said curtly. "And yours is the one we're going to focus on."
"I agree with Logan," Roman said haughtily. "Let's talk about why you're so angry at Janus that you let Logan beat him to pieces."
Virgil stared at him. "That's not what happened."
"Are you sure, Virge?" Patton asked. "Because you weren't restrained. You could have stopped Logan. But you didn't. You let Janus get hurt."
"That's not what happened!" Virgil insisted.
"Then what did?" Patton asked.
Virgil gazed at the three Light Sides. Roman looked hostile again, something he hadn't done in ages. Patton looked unsure and a bit frightened. Logan simply stared at him, curious as to the answer. Virgil wanted to explain, but he couldn't. Anxiety hit him with the force of a sledgehammer. He couldn't. They would judge him. They would judge them. They wouldn't get it. They wouldn't understand that Janus had volunteered to be beaten to a pulp. They'd want to know why he was fine with it. And Virgil couldn't bear to admit that it wasn't that bad of an explosion, that all three of the Dark Sides could hit harder, could be more violent than what Logan had just been.
Ashamed of what he was again, Virgil turned away without answering and headed to his room. His eyes passed over the doorway to the Subconscious, where his old room and his old life was. He wished he could talk to Janus and Remus. He knew they would finally understand. But if he saw Janus give that know-it-all smirk, he might rip his throat out. And that would be a lot harder to explain to the Light Sides. So he walked right by and headed to his room to be alone. Logan, Patton, and Roman watched him go, and they didn't try to stop him. And he knew that he'd done damage to their relationship by not stopping Logan. He waited until he was alone in his room before letting the tears fall. He hated himself, hated what he was, and he hated hiding it. Remus was right. It sucked dick.
