By the time the food was ready, the three Dark Sides had calmed down a little. When Patton carried in the gooey brownies, he was pleased to find Janus, Virgil, and Remus sitting in a nest of blankets, no longer swathed in them. Roman paused for a moment in the doorway of the kitchen, took a deep breath, and walked in with a big pot of tea.
"Here we go!" Patton said jovially. He set them on the coffee table, and Roman placed the teapot beside them then took a seat with Logan. Patton quickly made a plate, eager to pass it to Janus. He reached out as Virgil and Logan were distracted. Logan looked up and panicked for a moment at what he saw.
Janus's eyes gleamed in the dim lighting, his pupils constricted. Patton tried to hand him a plate, and before Logan could tell him no, Remus's hand shot out to push the plate away. There was a sudden flash of movement, and Patton froze, bewildered as to what just happened. But then it registered. Remus had pushed his hands out of the way, replacing it with his bare arm, and Janus had bitten him. There was a moment of stunned silence as everybody processed the scene.
"What…?" Patton squeaked.
"Back the snakey in a corner, soon there will be many mourners. Because when faced with fight or flight, snakey boy will lunge and bite," Remus recited then he giggled. "You can let go now, Janny. It tickles."
Janus blinked a couple times then blushed and relaxed his jaw. He pulled the blankets over himself again and sank down, clearly embarrassed.
"Translation?" Logan asked slowly.
"He's not exactly in a relaxed state of mind," Virgil murmured, sipping his tea. His voice was still layered, indicating his state of mind wasn't so great either. "And when he feels trapped, he lashes out with his fangs. So don't move quick when you're near him like this. Or…" He shrugged, nodding toward Remus's wound.
Remus looked at the snake bite with interest, his skin turning a pale green as his dark green essence flowed out. "Hm. It's okay, Janny. You didn't hurt him."
Janus shifted, his eyes darting to Patton. "It's not like I'm sorry or anything," he whispered. "It's just…"
"Instinct?" Logan guessed.
"Yes." Janus spoke so quietly they almost didn't hear him.
"Interesting. I shall make a note of it," Logan said. He took a brownie and poured a cup of tea. "When everyone is settled, we'll begin."
"Oh, Logan. I do adore how formal you make everything. It's not like it's hard to discuss things like this, and making it into a formal procedure totally doesn't make me feel like I'm being judged," Janus said. He eyed the plate in Patton's hands.
"Still want some?" Patton asked shakily.
"Not at all. I haven't been salivating at the thought of this for almost an hour. Not a bit."
Patton reached over slowly and set the plate down on the couch then retreated. Janus watched him go then there was a pause during which the others got their treats. Then Janus slowly raised himself out of the blankets again and peered around. Logan watched with rapt attention as he slowly pulled the blanket off the top of his head then reached for the plate Patton had made for him. Then in a quick movement, he snatched it up and leaned back, still watching them. When they didn't respond, he finally relaxed a bit and turned his attention to the food.
"Looks terrible."
"Thanks, Jan. They're even better than they look," Patton said after a moment.
Janus inclined his head then picked one up in his gloved hand and took a cautious bite. It gave Patton pleasure when he suddenly looked very happy.
"Worst thing I've ever eaten," Janus muttered. "Absolutely disgusting. And totally not the most decadent thing I've ever put in my mouth."
"%#*& that! This $&!# is sinfully good!" Remus exclaimed. "I mean, I don't think the moral Side should have any! Might corrupt you, Pop-injay!"
Patton flushed with glee and grinned. "I'll risk it." He picked up his own brownie and peered at it. "I'm sorry that I made you feel like you had to hide, Virgil."
Virgil swallowed another mouthful of tea. "Not your fault entirely. I didn't trust any of you. I was afraid." He nibbled his brownie then looked up at them. "And from the way Roman reacted to Janus and his more… obvious animal characteristics, I was right not to."
"I'm sorry I made you feel that way," Roman said gruffly. "Both of you. I must have made you feel awful. I have no excuse for you, Virgil. I was just… wrong. But Janus, I did it to you because it seems that all you do is lie to us."
"As Virgil mentioned awhile ago," Janus said softly, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. "I do tell the truth amidst my lies. The trick is to tell them apart. And when I am accused of being a liar when I am not lying, it makes me… angry. Hurt." His pupils constricted again, and a subtle hiss came from him. Then his 's' sounds became drawn out in a sibilant rush of air. "But of course, I couldn't share my displeasure. Oh no. Because I know how you like to kill giant serpents for fun in the Imagination." He paused and looked at Roman. "Would you kill me if you could?"
Roman shook his head. "No."
Janus studied him. "Hm. You're telling the truth."
"I'm not sadistic," Roman exclaimed. "That's Remus! I mean… ugh! I just… Look, I think it's weird that you're all part animal, okay?" He shifted uncomfortably.
"If you're part snake, and Remus is part octopus, what are you Virgil?" Patton asked.
"He's part raccoon," Logan said calmly. "And, correct me if I'm wrong Virgil, he used his eyeshadow to cover up the fact that sometimes he has a mask, and sometimes he doesn't. Which would also affect the consistency of your eyeshadow. Is that correct?"
Virgil nodded, not looking up.
"I see. And your fangs are not actually fangs. They are canines, which is why they're shaped differently than Janus's."
"I guess," Virgil muttered.
"Mmhm." Logan's eyes were bright. "Fascinating. But I shall restrain myself now."
"Thank God," Virgil grumbled. "Now unblock the #&$% door."
"Not yet. You're not getting out of this," Logan said calmly. "We're not done here. There are several things we need to clear up."
"Yeah, like why would you forgive Janus after what he did?" Roman asked his brother.
Janus glanced at the Prince and snorted. "So now you care?" he challenged.
"Yes I do! I've always cared about my brother!" Roman exclaimed.
"Oh yes. You cared so much that you just walked away."
Roman cringed. "Look, I walked away, but my door was always open! You locked him out!"
"Romy, it's fine," Remus said. He conjured a bottle of vanilla extract and dumped it into his tea, mixing it around with his finger before taking a gulp. "They've done worse to me. Both of them."
"Liar," Janus said idly. "We've done worse physically."
Remus looked down. "True. You cut my veins with what you said. And you left me to bleed out. But I deserved at least part of that, Janny. I should have never even suggested the idea. It wasn't right of me to do that. And I'm… I'm sorry."
"Mm. And I suppose you expect me to be sorry for bashing you over the head with the essence concoction?" Janus said. "Well, I'm totally not. It's definitely not the worst mistake I've made when it comes to reacting to your poorly thought-out, often imbecilic plans. And I haven't been lamenting about it for a week, hoping that you'd forgive me."
Remus grinned, wrapping an arm around Janus's shoulders and pulling him close. "We're all good, Janny. But that $&!# burns going down. It's worse than shotgunning fire whiskey!"
"Ah yes. So much vomit," Janus sighed, rolling his eyes.
Virgil snorted. "That wasn't as bad as the bleach."
Remus's eyes lit up. "Hey, yeah! That was awful! I was foaming at the mouth and vomiting blood!"
"Remus, please!" Logan said sharply.
Remus glanced at him and his smile disappeared as doubt worked its way in. "Sorry."
"It's just… not while we're consuming food, please," Logan said, his voice softening. "And we're trying to have a heartfelt conversation to ease your anxieties. All of you. But you must also work with us."
"How?" Remus asked bluntly. "I can't control my intrusive thoughts. That's one of my functions, and they can get pretty bad."
"How do you two handle them?" Patton asked, glancing at Virgil and Janus.
"We listen to them," Virgil said, reaching over for a refill for his tea.
"Yes, so do we," Logan said.
"No. You don't," Janus said.
Logan sat up straight. "I'm not lying."
"I didn't say you were," Janus replied. "You think you're telling the truth. But you all have such negative reactions to every single thing that comes out of Remus's mouth. There are some that are much worse than others, yet you treat them all the same. They are not the same. I wouldn't force him to be quiet if he said something like…" Janus paused to think. Virgil snickered, turned to Remus, and stuck out his tongue.
"Hey, have you ever tried to swallow your tongue?" Remus asked suddenly, his eyes coming to life. "Like, seriously! Think about it! It's big enough to choke all the air out of you! If you fall asleep wrong, you could suffocate yourself, too!"
"Yes. Thank you," Janus said. "That is far different than some of his more… unwelcome ideas."
"An example being?" Logan asked.
"Well, Virgil never likes me talking about those tumors that grow teeth and hair and…"
Janus grimaced and flung his hand out. Remus's hand immediately snapped to his mouth, and he gave a muffled laugh. Virgil's eye patches had expanded to his cheekbones so fast that it was alarming, and he looked ready to bolt.
"A fine example," Janus said through clenched teeth.
Remus shrugged and mumbled something through his hand.
"Your triggers will be far different than ours," Janus said, flicking his fingers. Remus removed his hand and wrapped an arm around Virgil in apology. "And establishing those will assist in curtailing the more… unsavory thoughts he has. But you cannot hope to stop all of them. He is impulsive and reckless and disgusting sometimes. But treating each and every outburst with the same degree of wild outrage doesn't make him stop. And I dare say it hurts him."
"Like taking a hacksaw to your dick," Remus admitted. "And just as damaging to the ego."
"Interesting," Logan murmured. "Then I apologize, Remus, for hurting you. I was unaware of all the factors that contribute to your outlook on the world."
Remus shrugged. "Eh, you're the most understanding. It's Patton and Roman that have the most negative reactions."
"It just makes me uncomfortable," Patton said, looking down. "Some of the things you say…" He sat up and met Remus's eyes. "I'm still working through what Logan said to me and Virgil and Thomas when it comes to you. And I'm sorry that I've been hurting you."
Remus studied Patton with an intensity that was a bit unusual for the manic, dark side. Then he relaxed. "Thanks." He paused then looked down at the tea. "Have you ever had a caffeine enema?"
Patton's eyes got big and he stared, at a loss for what to say. "Uh…"
"I can show you how to do it," Remus said. "I've shoved all sorts of liquids up there."
"Ewww!" Roman groaned.
"I'll pass," Logan said, adjusting his glasses and glancing away.
"Um… no thanks, kiddo. I'll, uh, I'll drink my coffee."
And there was a subtle change in Remus, and the smile he gave was bright and full of energy. "Your loss! But seriously, if you ever want to try, call me. The kick is fantastic!"
Logan, Patton, and Roman suddenly realized that Remus had just tested them to see if they were serious about taking his thoughts in stride. Logan smiled then turned to Janus and Virgil.
"So sorry. We've gotten off track. We were supposed to be helping you two."
Janus stared at them then his hand came up to cover his mouth. "You have," he said softly.
"We have? But we haven't discussed your feelings of self-loathing and disgust at what you are."
"True," Janus murmured through his hand. "But out of the three of us, Remus has been the most difficult for you to accept due to his loud insistence on being recognized. And if you're willing to try for him…"
Virgil looked down and nodded. "He's right. This has helped. And honestly? I'm not ready to talk about those things you mentioned."
"Very well. But may we say something before we set aside the topic for another time?" Logan asked.
"If you make it quick," Janus said. "I mean, it's not like I'm exhausted from constant anxiety messing with my sleep schedule."
Logan nodded. "Then let me share a brief statement. You two are needed by Thomas just as much as the rest of us are. And that goes for Remus, too. You provide a lot more than you recognize. Considering Thomas's recent mental health crisis, Janus, you were the first one to point out that he needs to be a bit more 'selfish' and that it is not something to be constantly avoided. Your self-preservation instincts for our Center are very, very important, especially considering how long we have been inadvertently neglecting the problem."
Janus considered this then shrugged one shoulder and inclined his head.
Logan turned to Virgil. "And we do remember when you left before. I thought we'd covered the topic of your importance and convinced you that you are quite necessary for survival and productivity. However, considering your nature, I suppose it was foolish of me to think that you have put aside all of your self-loathing and insecurity. That, and considering our recent discoveries about your more primal instincts and animalistic nature, means that we must be extra supportive of you as we learn how to navigate this new information. I personally am not put off by the revelation, but am in fact quite curious. I cannot speak for Patton and Roman, but you have my full support and you are free to talk with me about whatever you feel you need to share."
Patton jumped in as soon as Logan finished. "I think it's really neat! I'm here if you want to talk, too. I'll try really, really hard to understand, Virgil, and I'm glad I get to know about this part of you, even if the way I found out wasn't, you know, ideal."
Roman shifted and glanced away. "I find it… interesting. But it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I hope that doesn't… hurt you."
"I expected everybody to be uncomfortable," Virgil said, the patches under his eyes expanding a bit. "But thanks for being honest. And no. I don't want to talk about the… animal part. Not yet."
"Well, this has been a complete waste of time," Janus said airily. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to fall into bed and sleep for a year."
"I'll come back to my room then," Remus said brightly. He popped to his feet and hurried over to hug his brother. "We need to have a sleepover when I'm feeling okay. We can play Switcheroo again!"
Roman smiled. "That sounds nice."
"Come on, Janny! I've got to go and mess up my room."
"Why?" Janus asked, standing up and tipping his hat.
"Ah, Roman cleaned it up when they were trying to get the essence concoction off of me. It needs a bit of work now."
"Mm. So the timer starts today," Janus said. "Make a note of that."
Logan pulled out his phone. "And what would this timer be for?" he asked.
Janus looked surprised. "I wasn't speaking to you, but in three months, he needs to clean up his room again."
Logan made a careful note then stood up. "Now that we've talked, I expect things to settle into a new normal. So to bed with all of you."
"Yes, Mother!" Remus exclaimed. "Can you read me a bedtime story?"
Logan pressed his lips together then smiled. "If you don't mind listening to a nonfiction book on the works of Plato."
Remus made a face. "Pass."
"Then unfortunately, no."
Remus skipped over to the doorway of the Subconscious and snapped his fingers. In an instant, the bricks were gone, and Janus strolled over to join him. He turned to look at Virgil, and his human cheek flushed.
"If you would come to visit more often, I would despise that."
Virgil smiled. "Only if you come visit up here, too. You're welcome here now."
Janus smiled almost shyly. Then he turned to Remus. "As despicable and underhanded as your idea was, it did work," he said.
"Cool!"
Then Janus scowled and bared his teeth, which lacked fangs. "If you ever try something like that again, you will regret the day you popped into existence."
"Okay," Remus said brightly.
"I hope you have terrible dreams," Janus said to the rest of them, then they headed down the stairs.
Vigil watched them go, and the Light Sides noticed his eye patches were spreading out again. He looked at them, shuffled his feet then headed for the bedrooms. "Night," he muttered.
Patton raced over and threw his arms around Virgil. Virgil stiffened then turned to hug him back.
"I've missed you, Virgil," Patton said.
"I've missed you guys, too. You know, despite the crippling terror that you'd throw me away because I'm a freak."
Patton pulled back and watched as Virgil slouched to his room. "We still have a lot to talk about, don't we?" he sighed.
"Yes," Logan said. "But only when they're ready. Now, off to bed. Thomas is going to be exhausted tomorrow."
Without another word, they headed for their rooms, deciding that they would clean up their mess the next day.
