A week after Patton had begun his recovery, Janus was desperate for food. He knew it was coming, yet he couldn't do anything about it. He'd been avoiding everybody, even Remus, so nobody knew of his current predicament. He wanted to stay in his room, wanted to stay concealed during his most vulnerable time, but his hunger pangs were driving him mad. He needed food. Good food. So with frightened determination, he dressed himself with a snap and stole out of his dark, humid room into the too-dry, too-cold air of the common room and up the stairs.
He peered around cautiously. What time was it? The mind was bright and clear, meaning it was daytime, but how early or late was it? He didn't know. But to his great relief, nobody was there to see him. Pulling his hat as low as he could over the left side of his face, Janus skittered for the kitchen and immediately saw fruit. He grabbed a banana and began to eat as he looked around. He needed something easy to carry down the stairs. Preferably as quickly as possible, he thought as he finished the fruit and began rifling around in the pantry.
Before he could gather anything, he heard a door open down the hall, and he blanched, turning frantically to hide his face. There were slow, heavy footsteps then a gasp.
"Jan! You came out of your room!"
"Mmhm," Janus said keeping his back to Patton. He was in front of the coffee pot and quickly began to make coffee. He didn't need to be any more wired, but he couldn't bear for Patton to see what was wrong. After what he'd done to the Heart, he would definitely be viewed as a monster.
"Better make a whole pot," Patton said cheerily, walking over to the fridge. "Logan will be after some."
"Have you seen Remus and Virgil?" Janus asked, feigning casualness. "I need some help with something."
"They went into the Imagination," Patton replied. He began shuffling ingredients around, looking for something. "But I'm sure I could help with whatever it is. And if I can't, Roman and Logan will for sure."
Janus wasn't sure whether to scream in frustration or cry in desperation. "Ah. Well, no matter. I'm sure it can't wait."
"Okay." Then Patton paused and straightened, turning to peer at Janus. "What was that?"
"It can't wait," Janus babbled, most of his attention on hiding his face. "It'll definitely happen before they get back, and I'm certain that it'll be an absolute $&!#-show when they do get back."
"Can I help?"
"I said it can wait," Janus said testily.
"Um, actually you said it can't wait."
Janus went rigid. Was he that close already?! "Oh #%*&," he hissed. "I need to go!"
He turned and ducked his head, trying to push past Patton. Patton reached out and grabbed him.
"Hey! Whatever it is, we can help. Let me just get Logan and Roman, and you can tell us what you need."
"No!" Janus exclaimed, tugging against Patton's grip. "I don't want your help!"
"Why not?" Patton asked.
"Because I'm already a big enough freak! You don't need to see me like that!"
Patton knew at once that Janus was telling the truth with that statement. But he had no idea why he was doing so. He knew Janus well enough to know that the amount of stress he was radiating would lead to a natural lie. He pulled Janus around, and the embodiment of Deceit tried to get away. Unfortunately, he slipped and crashed to the floor, his hat falling off. Patton yelped and knelt down, trying to help.
"Sorry! Let me just—" His voice cut off as Janus looked up at him. Panic exploded across his face, and before Janus could shush him, Patton shouted at the top of his lungs. "Logan! Roman! Something's wrong!"
There were two bangs as the Sides came crashing out of their rooms and skidded into the kitchen. Janus couldn't move, his instincts screaming at him to be still and he wouldn't be noticed. But he was not a snake that was naturally camouflaged in the grass. He was a person sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor and gazing in terror up at Logan and Roman, who froze when they saw him. Roman's jaw dropped, and even Logan blinked stupidly at him.
Janus felt exposed and horrible, and this time of the year was always difficult emotionally for him. So before he could stop it, he burst into tears right there in front of all of them, covering his face with his gloved hands and bawling like a baby. There was stunned silence before Patton dropped beside him.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. What's wrong? You can tell us."
Janus shook his head, gulping and hiccuping. He could barely breathe, let alone speak. Then he sensed somebody kneeling down beside him and gentle hands touched his shoulders.
"Let me see, Janus," Logan said encouragingly.
Janus sobbed harder, but he let Logan tug his hands down to reveal his face. Logan leaned down to peer at him. The most noticeable thing was Janus's left eye. It was a very cloudy blue across the whole surface, and it made his heterochromia far more obvious. His scales also looked strange, and Logan reached over and brushed against them. They were scratchy and almost brittle. Logan tilted his head as Janus stared at him, tears streaming down his cheeks and trepidation on his face.
"Janus, I have a question for you. Can you shed your scales like a snake?" Janus's bottom lip trembled, but he gave a tiny nod. Logan sat back and pursed his lips. "I see. Is this a regular occurrence?" Another tiny nod. "So there is no cause for alarm?" Janus didn't respond. "Hm."
"Is this what you need help with?" Patton asked.
Janus looked miserably up at him and nodded. "Remus and Virgil would usually, but…" His voice cracked and he lowered his head and sobbed again.
"But they went off to spend some time together," Roman said. There was a tinge of bitterness to his voice. "Well, $&!#. What do we do?"
Logan pressed his hands on either side of Janus's face and made him look up. "What do you need?"
Janus's human cheek flushed. "Heat. Moisture. Food," he whispered.
This time they all felt the certainty that it was the truth. So Logan nodded. "Very well. Patton, prepare a large lunch and bring it down to Janus's room."
"What about the heat and moisture?" Roman asked.
"For that all we need to do is take him back to his room," Logan replied. "Up we go, Janus. Help me, Roman."
Roman hesitated then stepped forward and looped his arm around Janus's, heaving him up to his feet.
"My hat," Janus said.
Patton picked it up then placed it on Janus's head. For the first time, Janus registered Patton's appearance. His skin was still off-color, and a dark tinge of blue spread out in a spiderweb from two ugly punctures on his neck. Janus's eyes filled with tears, and he began to cry again. Patton looked alarmed.
"Hey! What's wrong, Jan? It's okay."
Janus shook his head and jerked out of Logan and Roman's grip, bolting for the stairs as he covered his face. His hat tumbled to the carpet, and the three Light Sides stared after him in shock.
"What is going on?" Roman asked.
"Janus is shedding his scales, and I'm guessing it has side effects."
"Is that why he's so… emotional?"
"I would assume so. Did either of you notice anything else?"
"He was telling the truth instead of lying," Patton said.
"Interesting." Logan walked over and peered into the dark stairway. "Come along, Roman. Patton, please bring down food, and keep in mind that it will be very damp in Janus's room."
Patton nodded and turned to gather ingredients. Roman followed Logan down to the Subconscious, stopping to pick up the hat and brushing it off. Logan strode purposefully to Janus's door, ready to knock or even break down the door, but when they got to the hallway, Janus had his back against his doorframe and was wriggling up and down, whimpering.
"Are you okay?" Roman asked blankly.
Logan hurried over and grasped Janus's shoulders. "That's enough."
"Please. It itches," Janus begged brokenly.
"Would lotion help?" Roman suggested.
Janus shook his head. "No."
"What would help?" Logan asked firmly, forcing Janus to meet his eyes again.
"Clothes off," Janus admitted, his voice small. "Catching on fabric."
Logan frowned and Roman's eyes widened. "Wait. You have more scales? They're not just on your face?"
More tears began to fall, and Janus tried to turn away, shame etched on his face, but Logan shook him gently.
"It's okay, Janus. Come on. Let's get them off."
Logan and Roman went into the bedroom, and Roman began to sweat immediately. The room was thick with damp and heat, and he wiped his forehead.
"Oh, wow. This place is like a jungle."
Logan nodded and stepped back. "Okay, Janus. Get undressed. As much as you need to."
Janus hesitated, wriggling again. He didn't want them to see him naked. But the dead skin kept catching on his clothes. He needed them off, but could he be so vulnerable? After a few moments, he gave in and compromised as he snapped his fingers. Immediately, he was in nothing but a pair of yellow boxers, and Logan and Roman gazed in astonishment at Janus. He had quite a few patches of scales up and down his body, mostly on the left side. They were all different sizes, from a few individual scales on the back of Janus's hand to a large patch on his shoulder that bloomed across his upper back and wrapped around his ribs.
"Astounding," Logan muttered. "Absolutely fascinating."
Janus squirmed and clenched his fists. "Please, it itches so #%*&ing bad."
Logan blinked and nodded. "Of course. Where?"
"All the scales," Janus said.
Logan had him sit on the bed then began to scratch gently across his shoulder. Janus sighed with satisfaction.
"Better?" Logan asked.
"I'd do it myself, but once I start, I can't stop," Janus muttered. "I've torn my skin off before."
Roman let out a strangled noise. "What?"
Janus shrugged and kept his back to them, making little noises of relief as Logan scratched different patches of scales. Roman stood awkwardly and didn't really know what to do. So he peered around Janus's room to see how he lived. The room was dim, with strips of light around all four of the upper walls. The bed wasn't made and was in the corner of the room, leaving quite a bit of space. The shelves were full of books that reminded Roman of Logan's preferences, along with romance novels that Roman recognized and a few children's books. The desk in the corner was covered in papers and an old-fashioned quill and inkstand. He wandered over and picked up one of the papers. It appeared to be notes about himself.
Roman still believes, at least subconsciously, that he does nothing wrong. Over time, he has relaxed his ego a bit, but he seems to need somebody to blame for his own insecurities. His favorite target is still Virgil, despite the progress made with Thomas. Virgil doesn't deserve this, but how to get Roman to see what he's doing without destroying him?
"Put those down!" Janus suddenly snapped.
Roman jumped and his hand slipped off the desk. Papers scattered everywhere and he dropped the paper he'd been reading.
"Crap!" Roman yelped. "Sorry! Sorry!"
Janus was there, picking up papers with an irritated expression. "Mind your own #&$% business, Roman."
Roman pulled at his collar. "Sorry. I just… Curious." He fanned his face, desperate to change the subject so he didn't have to think of the words he'd just read. "It's so hot."
"It needs to be," Logan said. "Perhaps a change of clothes would be beneficial."
Logan snapped and his outfit changed to a pair of khaki shorts and a thin t-shirt. "Ah, much better," he said. "Roman, I suggest you do the same."
Roman nodded and snapped his fingers. At once, he was wearing a light, red linen shirt and a pair of white shorts. He couldn't help but sigh. "That is better," he admitted.
"Perhaps a water cooler, as well. We'll need to drink quite a bit to stay hydrated."
"Wait, you're staying?" Janus asked, startled. He carefully put the papers away and turned to gaze at them.
"Do you want us to go?"
"No," Janus said at once. Then he looked frustrated and turned away.
"Then why are you surprised?" Roman asked. "We're going to help you through this… shed?"
Janus's eyes filled with tears for a third time and he began to cry. "Why?" he sobbed. "I don't deserve it! I'm a monster!"
Logan wrapped an arm around Janus's shoulder and guided him back to the bed. "It's quite alright. Hush there. Just sit down and relax. Stress isn't good for snakes shedding their scales. It makes it more difficult."
"Of course you'd know that," Janus choked out. "#%*&ing know-it-all."
Logan preened. "I do believe that's the kindest thing you've ever said."
Janus wriggled as some of his skin got caught on Logan's shirt. Logan immediately pulled away then began to scratch him again. Janus sighed.
"Ooh, that's nice," he murmured.
"Will anything else help?" Logan asked.
"A hot bath would," Janus said. "But I've got to eat something. I don't eat when I'm stressed but when it's time to shed, I'm #%*&ing ravenous. I haven't eaten in days."
"We tried to get you to come out," Roman said.
"After what I did to Patton, I don't deserve food."
"Preposterous. It's not a matter of deserving food or not deserving food. It's a matter of needing food." Logan moved his fingers to a different patch and Janus shuddered and let out a soft groan of relief.
"But Patton—" Janus began.
"Will be down soon and you can talk to him," Logan cut in. "Now relax."
Janus grumbled, but Logan continued to scratch at his scales, and he closed his eyes. He didn't want to talk to Patton. He could still see the bite wound on his neck, and he felt so guilty. But he needed to talk with him. He just wished it wasn't when he was a walking ball of hormones that would burst into tears at the slightest provocation. Still, he couldn't do anything but wait for Patton to come down. So he relaxed as best he could into Logan's scratching fingers and waited to face the Side he'd so brutally attacked the week before.
