"Uh, Jon?"
Shawn held the front door open as wide as he could. He had planned on getting the newspaper for Audrey, but his path was blocked by a very unusual obstacle.
A rude grunt was the only response he got from his teacher who was barely awake and trying not to be at all.
"You remember that time you said you thought Audrey was a Disney character and wouldn't be surprised if birds and rodents helped her clean and stuff?" The teen stood on one foot and squinted into the early morning sun.
"Harrumph," Jon replied as he yanked the blanket over his head. He was curled up on his side and buried under the covers. He did not want to see the sun yet.
Shawn pursed his lips and tipped his head to the side. "Apparently giant flower hearts sprout on her doorstep too."
"What?!" Jon was awake now. He threw off the blankets and jumped up. "What're you talkin' about?"
Shawn stepped to the side so his teacher could see the massive bouquet of flowers on the doorstep. It wasn't just a large bouquet either. It was a 3-foot heart made from at least 500 red and pink roses. White roses were arranged to form an A in the center. It sat on an easel that seemed barely large enough to hold it.
Jon stared at it with his mouth open and wondered how something like that was disposed of once the roses died.
Shawn rubbed the back of his neck as he studied the mass of flowers that seemed very familiar. He felt like he'd seen something similar not long ago.
A fancy pink foiled box with a big silver bow tied around it sat next to the display.
"Hey, Jon. Shawn." Audrey entered the living room from her bedroom to find them standing in front of the open front door.
"What're you two doing?" she asked curiously.
Jon leaned over and picked up the box.
"Stoppin' to smell the roses," he quipped looking inside.
"Now what?" she groaned as she joined them in the doorway.
Her eyes went wide with displeasure when she saw the floral display. "How am I supposed to get rid of those once they die?"
"Ha," Jon said as he examined the box's contents. "That's what I wondered."
He pulled a bottle of wine out of the box and regarded it with an impressed look. "Whoever is doin' this has good taste in wine and champagne, I'll give 'em that."
Audrey was not impressed. "Great. What am I supposed to do with that? I don't drink."
"Save it until you're twenty-one, then use it to toast being free of Feeny." Shawn suggested sounding a bit envious as he stuck his nose over Jon's shoulder to look at the bottle he was holding up.
Jon almost asked what Feeny had to do with Audrey turning twenty-one but thought better of it. He knew the answer was likely to be nonsensical.
"I'm done!" Audrey exclaimed, throwing up her hands as she backed away from the door. "How do I get this to stop?"
Shawn looked at Jon quizzically. When his teacher offered no answer, the teen made a proposal that he'd clearly been thinking about longer than he should have been. "We booby trap the front porch since that's where the dude likes to hide out."
Jon arched a brow and gave him a skeptical look. "Then what do we do once we have him?"
"Huh," Shawn said clearly at a loss. He shrugged. "I dunno. I didn't think you'd actually ask."
Jon rolled his eyes and handed Audrey the box of wine. He stepped out onto the porch to examine the arrangement. He wasn't sure how to get the thing inside.
"Just leave it out there," Audrey told him forcefully waving him back in. "I already have a giant bear in here I don't know what to do with. I don't need that in here too."
"Yeah, I wish it didn't have to sleep in my room." Shawn shuddered, rubbing his hand up and down his arm. "I don't like bein' watched while I sleep."
"We'll drop it off at the Children's Hospital next week," Jon said. He looked around the front yard for anything out of place.
"That's a long time not to sleep."
Jon shot him a withering look. "There's no bear in your room at home."
"Yeah, there is," Shawn pointed dramatically toward "his" room. "See for yourself."
He grunted in annoyance but refrained from arguing.
The teen took the box from Audrey and inspected it. "Can I have this?"
"No!" Both of his teachers responded with looks of reproach.
"Why would you even ask that?" Jon snapped as he shut and locked the front door.
"I dunno," he shrugged unbothered by the rejection. "It worked for the chocolate."
While Audrey prepared for the day, Jon took the rose arrangement out to the backyard and then got ready himself. The three met back up in the kitchen with Shawn still in his pajamas sneaking fistfuls of Lucky Charms from a box he tried to hide under his shirt.
While Audrey started a quick breakfast for them, Jon thought aloud about possible secret admirer suspects. There really wasn't anyone they could come up with other than the new gym teacher.
"I told you Brad was bad news," Shawn said haughtily. Forgetting to hide the cereal box, he pulled it from under his shirt in full view of Audrey. This resulted in a brief tug of war with her as she didn't approve of his choice of sugar to start his day.
"Where did this come from?" Audrey asked irritably as she looked over the box. "I don't keep this junk in my house."
Shawn looked at Jon who gave him a dubious look. Immediately the teen pointed to him and loudly announced, "Jon bought it. I just brought it from home."
"I thought home was here." Jon couldn't help but bring the front door argument to the kitchen.
Without missing a beat, Shawn snapped back, "I have two homes because my parents refuse to live under the same roof."
Jon silently cursed himself for not seeing that response coming.
Audrey wasn't interested in their dispute. She was focused on the box in her hand. She turned on Jon who put his hands up in defense.
"What? It's supposed to be for a treat," he told her. "Besides a little sugar isn't gonna hurt him."
"A treat?" Shawn cried in disdain as he climbed onto the kitchen counter to sit. "What am I? A dog now?"
Audrey rolled her eyes, threw the box in the trash, and went back to her omelet. Her irritation was not actually about the cereal but about the gifts that wouldn't stop showing up. Jon shot him a dirty look before returning to the subject of Brad.
"I mean, I guess it could be someone else on staff. Plenty of the male teachers ogle you when you walk into the lounge," Jon mused as he took the dishes out of the cupboard. "Sorrell is the only one who would act on it though. But he's too arrogant to go the secret admirer route. If he was buyin' you this stuff, he'd want you and everyone else to know about it."
"It's Brad," Shawn said.
"It could also be a senior kid whose got a thing for you, I suppose."
Audrey made a face.
"It's Brad."
Jon ignored him. He and Audrey continued to debate the likelihood of her secret admirer being a student. Shawn was growing exasperated, and he didn't like his teacher ignoring him just because he was being irritating.
"I also think it's someone who doesn't know you well," Jon said, pouring orange juice for himself and Shawn. "If they did, they'd know you're only twenty and that buyin' you wine as a gift could get them into trouble. I mean, there are some seniors with parents rich enough to have this stuff around their house. They would think you're older. This is probably a kid."
"It's Brad." Despite not being asked his opinion Shawn went on, "He's the only person I can think of who'd be dumb enough to do this."
"He doesn't know me, though," Audrey said scraping the eggs onto the plates Jon put in front of her. "Why would you do something like this to someone you don't know?"
"Love doesn't follow logic," Shawn replied pointedly, staring at Jon. "If it did, we'd be married by now and I wouldn't have to go through the emotional upheaval of splittin' time between two homes."
Jon had had enough. He grabbed a fistful of fabric on the teen's shoulder and nearly pulled him off the counter.
"I am this close to groundin' you for bein' annoyin'," he hissed in his ear. He then let go of the teen with a warning glare.
Shawn shook his shirt out and gave his teacher a pinched look.
Glancing at Audrey, who was putting breakfast on the table, Jon said, "Anyway, I really don't think this is Brad."
Audrey looked up sharply. "Why not?"
"This stuff is too expensive to afford on a teacher's salary," he replied. Under his breath he muttered, "At least I can't on mine."
"He could be puttin' it on a card," Shawn pointed out. "Like you did with Christmas."
"If he is," Audrey said motioning for them to sit and eat, "Then he is an idiot."
Shawn always took great delight in seeing Audrey's sharper side come out. It wasn't often but she was as acerbic as he and Jon could be. To hear her call someone an idiot made him almost choke on his eggs from delight. He spewed omelet bits over Jon who gave him a disgusted glare. Audrey held out a napkin. Though it was meant for Jon, Shawn took it and wiped his mouth, giving his teacher that quirky, deranged grin. Jon ducked his head to avoid the smirk and began to eat.
After hurrying through breakfast, Audrey shooed them out of the kitchen and off to the bedrooms to finish getting ready for school. She was not in a good mood and seeing the box of wine on the counter made her even more upset. She went over to the box, took out the bottles, and set them by the sink with the intent to pour the alcohol down the drain. She took the box, turned it upside down, and put it on top of the trash can. On the bottom of the box was another blue note.
Hoping to finally end the secret admirer nonsense, she opened the note and read:
Nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals, the power of your intense fragility: whose texture compels me with the color of its countries, rendering death and forever with each breathing…
Audrey pushed out her bottom lip and stared at the strange choice of poem, unsure of what to make of it, the flowers, and the gift. Then a small stain at the corner of the note made her pause. It looked like the edge of a thumbprint in chocolate.
Relief flooded her and she smiled.
Shawn.
Or perhaps Cory playing mail carrier so that Shawn could honestly say he didn't put the note on the porch.
Either way, Shawn got a kiss on the cheek when he wandered back into the living room with his school clothes somehow looking more disheveled than his night clothes. Audrey did her best to smooth out the wrinkles while Shawn did his best to complain the entire time. Once his collar at least was straight, she let him go with a mental note to see where he was actually putting his laundry when she gave it to him to put away.
Jon joined them a few minutes later and the trio headed to the garage where they immediately ran into a problem: how to leave without being seen together.
If the wrong person saw them leave Audrey's place, life as they knew it would be over. So somehow Jon had to get his Harley out of the garage without being seen so Audrey could leave in the Bonneville as usual.
"All I'm sayin' is if we dress in black and crouch behind the bike as we roll it out to the street, people will think it's movin' on its own and won't pay attention to us." Shawn's fingers and thumb were pinched together like he was holding something small in them. He jabbed them in Jon's face much to his teacher's annoyance.
Jon placed one hand on his waist and one over his mouth. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation right now. "Shawn, we're tryin' not to draw attention to ourselves. The Harley movin' down the street on its own is gonna have the opposite effect."
Shawn frowned and shook his hair out of his face. "So what're you sayin'?"
"I'm sayin' NO!"
"You're awfully critical for a guy who hasn't come with an idea."
Audrey sighed loudly.
"Look," Jon said glancing at her. "My concern isn't gettin' the bike to the street. It's makin' sure there isn't anyone around to see us. If no one's around I take the bike out like a normal person."
Shawn lifted his hand to Jon's face again with renewed determination in his eyes. "So again- all in black and I'll need walkie-talkies for this."
Jon let out a heavy breath and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. The moment he heard himself speak he regretted it. "Why?"
"Stealth."
"Stealth?"
"I do a sweep of our yard, the neighbors' yards and trees, and the stuff across the street."
"Trees?"
"They could be anywhere, man."
Jon rolled his eyes and began to pace.
"If someone really is out there," he jerked a thumb at the garage door. "You don't need be wanderin' around to be seen."
Shawn squinted at him in disbelief "You teach English, don't you? I'm surprised you don't know what stealth means."
Pushing out his lips, Jon put his hands on his waist. "You're really somethin' this morin', Hunter." He looked at the garage door and said, "I'll go."
"Look." Audrey put her hands up to stop them. Her patience with the mystery admirer was reaching its end. "I'll go. It's my place."
"No," Jon said adamantly, shaking his head. "If some creep is out there watchin' this place you don't need to run into him alone."
The three dissolved into an argument over who was doing what and when. The squabbling brought out Audrey's landlord, Mrs. Dupree.
She listened intently then, raising her voice above theirs, said, "You're making this far too complicated, my dears."
They stopped in mid-sentence to stare at her.
Her eyes sparkled mischievously.
Shawn, who had always loved the spunky old lady, rubbed his hands together. "Whatcha got planned, Maudie?"
A wicked grin spread over her face, and she leaned over to whisper in his ear. "A way to get my overgrown plants trimmed."
The looks on the trio's faces made her laugh.
"Just behind the garage in the back is an alley," she explained looking directly at Jon. "The path out is covered with hollyhocks. If you trim those back, you can take the Harley out through the back of the garage and leave from the alley. No one will be able to tell which house you came from."
"You're the best, Maudie," Jon said kissing her cheek as he went to get the hedge clippers hanging by the door.
"The very best," Shawn agreed. He kissed her too.
Audrey folded her arms over her waist and gave Maudie a questioning look.
"Don't look at me like that, my dear," she laughed. "They need a way out and I need those plants cut back."
Audrey laughed and kissed her on the cheek. "You really are the best, Maudie."
"I know," she responded cheekily.
Jon would have had the hollyhocks trimmed much quicker had Shawn not insisted on helping. He got a face full of leaves more than once from the teen holding back the stems only to let them go when he got distracted. But they got the path cleared and the Harley out without losing too much time.
Shawn was sent back to the garage to get the bookbag he tried to forget. While Audrey backed the Bonneville out, Maudie motioned him over.
"How's the plan coming?" she asked, nodding at Audrey.
Shawn told her the trouble of getting his teachers to the Poe House.
"I'll think about this conundrum," she said, placing a wizened finger against her rouge-brightened cheek. "If you think of a way I can help, you just let me know, sweetheart."
The moment she said that Shawn's eyes lit up with an idea. Maudie was the one person that both Jon and Audrey would drop everything for.
"Oh, I am gonna need your help!" he said excitedly. "As soon as I finalize plans with Cory and Topanga, I'll tell you what I need."
"Oh goodie," she said with glee. "I just love a good covert mission."
Shawn kissed her again and took off before Jon came to get him.
While there was nothing unusual waiting for Audrey in the classroom, there was something very unusual waiting for Shawn at his locker- Harley Keiner.
And just Harley.
Frankie and Joey were nowhere to be seen and that made Shawn more nervous than if they had been there breathing down his neck.
Harley said nothing as Shawn approached his locker. He kept his dark glare on the younger teen, then abruptly stepped to the side with a grand gesture to allow Shawn access to his space.
Hesitantly, with one eye on the bully, Shawn put his bookbag in the locker and forgot to take out what he needed for homeroom.
Cory, not paying attention, turned the corner and walked straight into Harley's back. He nearly passed out from the heavy cloud of cologne that swarmed the bully. Harley whipped around and bared his teeth at him, causing Cory to back up several feet.
Topanga was the next to join them. When she saw Harley, she simply kept a steady, impassive look on him as she walked up to the lockers. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she turned her back on him to talk to Shawn.
Shawn saw Harley lift his chin slightly, giving her his seal approval. That amazed him- what garnered respect from the bully by one person could get another person killed. Topanga was lucky. He knew he would not be.
Lost in thought, he did not hear anything she said and judging from the look on Cory's face, neither did he.
"We'd better get to class," she said, letting them off the hook. She turned back to stare Harley down. "All of us."
Harley gave her an exaggerated bow, threw a sly smile at Shawn, and gave Cory a slap on the back so hard he knocked him into Shawn.
And he never said a single word.
"Well," Cory said after he was gone. He shifted anxiously from one foot to the other. "I don't know about you guys, but I know I'm gonna have nightmares tonight."
Shawn shuddered then flopped against the lockers. "This is gettin' ridiculous. Between the rave, Dana, and Harley, I beginnin' to think a birthday party isn't worth it. I thought this was gonna be fun. How do you guys handle it every year?"
Cory and Topanga exchanged looks.
Shawn saw this and scrunched up his face. "You don't go through it, do you?" He gave a dramatic groan. "It's a me thing, isn't it?"
"I wish my party planning was this exciting minus the Harley stuff," Cory replied. A hint of envy tinged his words. "Stuff's always more exciting for you."
Shawn rolled his eyes and head in Cory's direction. "Next year I will gladly trade places with you."
The boys resumed getting their supplies for homeroom from the lockers. Cory had just slammed his locker shut when he felt warm breath on his neck. He giggled weakly thinking it was Topanga being flirty then remembered that not only had they broken up, but she was standing right in front of him.
Cory whirled around and saw T.K.'s grin, up close and very personal.
"T.K.!" He gasped putting a hand over his heart, breathing heavily. "Must you do that?"
"Sorry, Curly, didn't wanna interrupt," she winked as she pinched the curls at his forehead.
She then stepped around him and slid up to Shawn. With a mischievous grin she reached out and gave his cheek a flirty squeeze. "How's the birthday boy doin'?"
After his encounter with Harley, Shawn was not in the mood to play "guess what might get me killed if I say the wrong thing" with the bully's sister.
"Stressed," he admitted glancing over his shoulder restlessly.
T.K. frowned and looked genuinely concerned. "What's wrong?"
"Your brother," he whispered.
"Oh, that." She waved her hand in front of her face. "Harvey just wants tah make sure everythin' is goin' okay with the party."
"Weird way to express that," he muttered, trying to shake off how strange hearing Harley's real name ws.
T.K. picked at her burgundy nail polish. "Everythin' is okay with the party, right?"
Shawn shrugged. "I guess."
It was far from okay, but what good did it do to tell her that?
"I just hope it doesn't get overshadowed by another party on that night." He gave her a sideways look wondering what her thoughts about his party and the rave really were.
"Aw, who cares if it does?" T.K. scowled. Then she popped her fist against his shoulder. "Your real friends will be there."
Her expression shifted suddenly and for the first time Shawn saw her look very uncertain. She glanced down at her Doc Martins and dug the toe into the tiled floor. "I'm real excited about this, Shawn."
Of course, she is, he silently huffed. A rave is just the kind of party T.K. would love. But why does she look like that? Like she might cry?
Still staring at her boots, she said in a quiet voice, "I'm super excited about your gift,too."
Gift?
With everything that was going on, Shawn had completely forgotten about gifts.
"Ah, that's okay, T.K." he said rubbing the back of his neck, feeling strange about the mention of gifts. "I don't really need anythin'. Just come."
Her head snapped up and she looked at him sharply. "It's not about gettin' somethin' you need, Huntah. It's about gettin' somethin' you really want. And I know what you really want." She poked him in the chest to emphasize her point.
Shawn was baffled. Thinking in terms of material possessions, he didn't know what he wanted. "You do?"
The serious look in her eyes lifted and she nodded excitedly as she clapped her hands together. Bouncing on one foot she grinned, "It's somethin' I know you've been wantin' since Septembah!"
It was clear she was about to burst with the secret. She clapped her hands in front of her lips as exhilaration danced in her eyes. Impulsively, she grabbed him, kissed him on the lips, and took off before he could react.
Several moments later Shawn managed to recover enough to ask, "What is it?"
"What have you been wanting since September?" Topanga asked curiously. She took a tissue out of her purse and had him wipe off the red lip prints on his mouth.
Shawn, still stunned, shrugged. "I dunno. I can't think of anythin' and definitely nothin' T.K. would know about."
"Ha," Cory said, glad that someone else was the object of T.K.'s obsession instead of him. "Maybe that's why Harley's been stalking you- so his sister will have the best birthday gift. She's kind of competitive that way."
"Maybe," he said as the trio began their slow walk to Jon's classroom which was just a short distance from their lockers. Something about that didn't sit right with him.
"I'm kinda surprised that T.K. hasn't said anything about the rave actually," Cory remarked. "She has to know about it."
Topanga stopped walking and the boys followed suit.
"Yeah, but T.K. is really excited about a regular birthday party with parents chaperoning," she told them. "She's been asking me every day if my parents will be there. She's worried that their plans might change."
"Why?" Cory asked. "Parents are the last thing T.K. would want at a rave. Are you sure she's not wantin' some to happen so they can't come?"
"No, she wants them to be there. She's asked if they're the kind of parent who'd be upset with what she wears to school. She asked me yesterday if she should wear a knit sweater to meet them."
He recalled T.K.'s attempt to fit in with his own family and that included changing the way she dressed and spoke to please them, but there was one thing that didn't make sense to him. "She wants to meet your parents? Why?"
"I don't know."
The moment Topanga said this, Shawn understood T.K., the gift, the party, and the parents.
"I do." He started moving to the classroom again when he saw Jon standing at the door giving him that look. "This is somethin' we have in common. Last year I was all about Eric's rave. But now that I have a chance to have a normal birthday party with normal rules and stuff, I don't wanna mess it up. Like I'm real excited about a normal birthday party."
"So?" Cory asked as they walked past Jon who closed the door behind them.
"So T.K. goes to raves all the time. She doesn't go to normal low-key, parent-chaperoned birthday parties. Who would ask her? And do you really think she gets a normal birthday party with her parents payin' attention to her?"
A look of understanding crossed Topanga's face, but Cory was a step behind.
"So she's excited about this because..?"
"It's normal," he said as they took their seats. "And that's all kids like T.K. and me want. We just wanna be normal."
Audrey remained in the classroom for lunch to get caught up on a paper for school she'd been neglecting due to planning Shawn's party. Jon, who was on lunch duty all week, thankfully did not pester her to join him in the cafeteria to eat.
While the purpose of remaining in the classroom was to avoid the distractions of home, she still found herself spinning a strip of paper around on the desk with her fingertips humming The Motown Song, completely distracted.
…we'll put the speakers in the window and we'll go on the roof and listen to the Miracles…
That was the newest set of words she'd discovered in the pages of her schoolwork.
She straightened out the taped together words and pressed a finger against her nose.
What she had so far was confusing and she couldn't tell what it was attempting to accomplish. Was someone (Shawn) asking her to listen to Rod Stewart music on a rooftop somewhere Saturday night?
Or was it the Miracles someplace else?
She did like the British rocker and she liked Motown music although she much preferred the Supremes to the Miracles. She tapped her nails against the desktop.
She was positive that the notes were coming from Shawn because of the chocolate thumb print, but she couldn't figure out why he was doing the words as well. It didn't really make sense that he would make two secret admirer notes, unless she was supposed to think they were from the same person.
Maybe she was.
She smiled, still humming to herself, as she put the strip into her purse for safekeeping.
Then she turned her attention to her work.
And sighed.
The moment she put pen to paper she was promptly interrupted by a knock at the door.
Jon! Her heart leapt at the thought that he would come back, even if it meant she'd get no work done. Audrey looked up with a bright smile fully expecting to see her cooperating teacher at the door.
Instead, it was Brad.
She didn't bother to hide her disappointment.
"Hey, Audrey," he grinned as he stepped into the room. "All alone for lunch?"
"Yeah, I'm working." Immediately she regretted saying that as Brad's face lit up with delight and something else she couldn't place her finger on. Whatever it was made her very uncomfortable.
Without taking his eyes off her he said, "Your guard dog not around?"
Audrey scowled. She wasn't in the mood to play guessing games. "Excuse me?"
"What's his name- Turner?" he explained, sauntering over to where she sat at Jon's desk. "He stands over you like a guard dog."
Audrey stared at him unsure of what to say. She watched as he set himself up, uninvited, to eat with her.
"You don't mind, do you?" he asked when he saw her staring at him.
"I'm working."
"Me, too," he winked at her.
Her scowled deepened "Brad, I'm serious. I have a paper due to my advisor on Friday."
Lazily he stretched and slung an arm over the back of his chair. "Aw, you work too hard. Take a break."
Audrey ignored him and tried to write her observations down.
He continued to talk, tossing out pick-up lines lamer than Jon's and she continued to ignore him while getting nothing accomplished. He then began to make a big deal out of her not eating much to her chagrin. When he reached over to open her soda and set her lunch up for her, Audrey very nearly took the fork on his tray to stab him in the hand and make him stop.
"I'm just trying to help you out, honey," he explained when he caught the glare she was giving him.
"Don't call me honey!" she snapped.
Brad blinked and his cheeks burned as he realized she wasn't playing a coy game with him. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "I, uh, I'm afraid I don't really know how to start a conversation with a woman outside of a club."
"Expand your horizons then," she snapped sarcastically. "Try a different venue every once in a while."
"Okay," Brad scooted his chair away from her to give her some room. "I deserved that."
Audrey was so angry she couldn't focus on her paper and that made her angrier.
Brad stumbled over his words as he tried to explain himself. Before long he was groveling. That was more offensive to her than his attempts at hitting on her. For a twenty-four-year-old he seemed terribly immature.
And immaturity was not in the least bit attractive to her.
She was attracted to quite the opposite. And thinking about the opposite caused Jon to flash into her mind. Her eyes fell half-closed as she smiled as the thought.
Naturally, her smile was misinterpreted by Brad who took it as a sign of forgiveness and interest. He started off humbly enough by asking her a few questions about herself which she chose to answer in as few words as possible. Then he turned the one-sided conversation to himself.
Audrey turned her attention to her paper.
The only good thing in all of this was that no one was bugging her to eat.
Even so…
I wish Jon was here, she sighed.
Brad rambled on between bites of food.
Audrey continued to ignore him until he started in on Jon.
"So does your guard dog have lunch duty all week?" He gave her a hopeful smile.
Audrey shot him a dirty look in response. "Stop calling him that."
Brad wrinkled his nose. "It's fitting."
"I don't like it."
"Why is he always with you?"
Audrey slammed her pen down and turned to face him. "What are you talking about?"
The gym teacher rolled his eyes. "He's with you every minute you're in school."
Audrey couldn't resist an overly dramatic look around the room. "Every minute, huh?"
Brad frowned unhappily. "Unless Mr. Feeny's making him do something else, I mean. Like lunch duty."
"He's my cooperating teacher, Brad." She turned back to her paper. "He's supposed to be with me. That's his job."
"One he's taking too seriously," he muttered.
Audrey wrapped the fingers of both hands around the pen barrel fighting the urge to snap it in half. "If this is so bizarre to you, tell me, what was your teacher doing when you were student teaching?"
"Not hovering over me like I was a little kid." At the angry look on her face, he quickly said. "I followed her around during class. When we didn't have a class, she left me alone."
"Yeah, well, this isn't PE. It's English Lit and things are a little more complicated than yelling at kids running laps."
This remark made Brad pause. He was more than a little offended by what she reduced his job to, but it didn't stop him from irritating her further.
"C'mon," he cajoled, not taking her frustration seriously. He put his arm on the back of her chair. "You don't think the attention he pays you is a little odd?"
"I think the attention you pay me is a little odd."
Brad was not used to struggling to win a woman over. "Come on, Audrey. An old guy has a real pretty girl he's in charge of and pays her a whole lot of attention. Don't you see what's going on?"
"Yes," she said, pointedly. "You're talking about your future self."
His jaw clinched as she clearly hit a nerve. "I'm talking about the attention Mr. Turner gives you."
"He doesn't do anything I'm not comfortable with." She tossed her hair over her shoulder and glared at him. "Unlike you."
He clenched his jaw and looked down. Audrey hoped he would come to his senses and grow up although she had little confidence he would.
She was right.
He just scooted his chair closer to her.
Giving him a sideways glare, she saw out of the corner of her eye the fork on his tray. It took all her willpower not to reach for it.
Shawn was surprised Jon let him eat lunch in his classroom without questioning his motives until he realized that with everything going on his teacher didn't want Audrey to be alone. On his way back to the classroom, he took a small detour that wound through the entire building to see if he could find anything that would help them stop the rave.
All he found were four rave flyers and a Keiner-shaped shadow.
Harley had been following him from the moment he left the cafeteria. He did not understand how or why Mr. Feeny allowed Harley and company to roam the hallways with no consequences that he could see. However, thoughts of the school bully immediately disappeared the moment he walked into Jon's classroom. What he saw made him yelp in fury and charge to the front of the room without any consideration for what he was doing.
Audrey saw him coming.
Brad did not.
"Get your hands off her!" he shouted furiously.
The PE teacher did not anticipate a student trying to remove him from his seat and the shock caused him to fall off without any help. Audrey jumped up and put herself between them while hissing a warning to Shawn to keep his hands to himself lest he be accused of assaulting a teacher.
Shawn backed off but he didn't back down.
He pulled up a spare chair that was sitting in the corner of the room. Placing himself firmly between Audrey and Brad, he pulled out the lunch Audrey made for him and turned his back on Brad.
The PE teacher grunted in irritation, but once he caught the look on Audrey's face, he refrained from saying anything to Shawn. He did, however, try to continue his conversation with her.
Shawn almost said something very rude, but then he recalled an incident when Cory's little sister, Morgan, was three. Whenever anyone tried to talk to Eric, Morgan would position herself right in front of his face and talk over whoever was talking to him. If they tried to move around her, Morgan would counter and block them. Because of Eric's adoration of her, he let her get away with it. Counting on Audrey's adoration of him, Shawn summoned up his inner Morgan, put the back of his head in Brad's line of vision, and started talking to her about his birthday party.
It didn't take Brad long to get irritated. And when Brad got irritated, he tried to pull rank on Shawn and send him back to the cafeteria.
Shawn shrugged him off. "This isn't your classroom. You can't send me anywhere."
Audrey gave him a look that told him she disapproved of his attitude. "That's enough."
"Well, he can't," he mumbled under his breath.
"Why is he in here?" Brad grunted as he took a frustrated bite of his sandwich.
Audrey frowned at his childish tone. "Jon lets him come down to eat lunch with me sometimes."
Brad scoffed at this. "So the guard dog sends his pup to watch you when he can't, is that it?"
Her mouth fell open and anger flared in her eyes.
"That's it," she said pushing her chair back and standing up. "Shawn, get your lunch. We're going to the cafeteria." To Brad she said heatedly, "You wanna keep this up, do it in front of Mr. Feeny."
Realizing he'd gone too far, Brad stammered out apology after apology while Shawn silently gloated over the gym teacher's gaff.
Audrey was not in a forgiving mood.
The teen followed her to the cafeteria with Brad sulking behind them. Before joining Cory at their table, he cajoled money off Audrey for a soda to assuage his "hurt" feelings. She saw past the act, rolled her eyes, and slipped him all her extra change.
At the vending machine, just before he dropped the first coin in, a hand closed around his shoulder.
Shawn spun around ready to fight. This was an instinctual reaction to being approached from behind. Growing up in the Pink Flamingo Trailer Park taught him that being ready to fight was the only way to avoid being pummeled.
It was good thing he repressed the urge to blindly swing, however. If he had, he would have connected with Brad's stomach.
And he would have been in a lot of trouble.
"Wow, you're jumpy." Brad kept a hold of him and wouldn't let him squirm away.
Being held down by someone he didn't like or trust caused the urge to swing to return.
"I don't like being snuck up on, Brad," he said sarcastically, trying to shrug the man off.
"Look, kid, I don't know what your problem with me is, but I think we need to be friends."
Brad was already on Shawn's "teachers I can't stand" list but calling him kid when Jon was the only one allowed to and wanting to be "friends" was quickly moving him to the top of that list.
No adult wanted to be friends unless they wanted something.
"Especially since Audrey likes you so much."
And that's what he wanted: Audrey.
Shawn took half a minute to decide which way to play Brad.
"Audrey likes me?" he asked with big innocent blue eyes.
A funny look crossed the teacher's face and he faltered slightly. "I didn't mean it like that, Shawn."
Dumb Shawn was his forte and Brad bought it.
What a loser!
Shawn frowned and bit his lip in a way that made him look clueless. "But you said she likes me."
"Every teacher likes their students," he said hastily.
Liar, he thought darkly.
"But does she like me like me or just like me?"
Brad stared at him worriedly.
"Shawn, she's an adult, she just likes you like, like a little brother."
Son, he mentally spat at him.
"Alright," he huffed. He was through playing dumb and wanted to shake Brad up as much as possible. "Let's stop this game, Brad. I'm turnin' fifteen not five. You gotta thing for Audrey and I'm in your way."
A look of concern crossed the gym teacher's face at the attitude change. "Miss Andrews," he corrected him.
Shawn crossed his arms over his chest. Tipping his head down, he looked up through his bangs.
"You should address her as Miss Andrews," Brad said firmly.
"Okay, Mr. Lewis," he said mockingly.
Brad opened his mouth and shut it. He took a deep breath then tried a different tactic. "Yeah, you're right. I do like her."
Shawn looked unimpressed. "You gonna ask her out?"
"Valentine's Day is coming up," he said, finally releasing his grip on the teen.
"She has plans." His eyes narrowed as he regarded the teacher suspiciously. Everyone wanted to take Jon from him on his birthday so of course they'd want to take Audrey too.
Brad frowned. "What plans?"
"Plans with me."
"You're thirteen."
"Fourteen. Next week I'm fifteen. She's twenty. That's only five years."
Brad shifted his weight from one foot to another, looking conflicted. "What plans could you have with her on Valentine's Day?"
Shawn lifted his chin in defiance. "My birthday party is a Valentine's dance."
The gym teacher stared at him for a moment. "In your dreams, kid."
"I've asked her," he shrugged smugly. "She said yes."
"Oh, I don't believe that," he snorted. "She wouldn't go to a dance with a kid!"
Shawn was aware of what Brad was thinking and he was happy to let him go on thinking it too. Briefly he wondered how much trouble he could get Brad into for talking to a student about his love life aspirations. He decided to hold onto that for the time being. He might need to bring it up to Feeny if Brad couldn't take a hint.
"Ask her yourself," he sniffed. "She's with me and there's nothin' you can do about it."
With that Shawn finished putting his change in the soda machine. He gave the machine a swift kick, retrieved his soda, and sauntered off leaving his PE teacher behind to wonder if he should talk to Mr. Feeny about Shawn's delusional crush on Audrey.
Science was immediately after lunch.
While the athletes were allowed to goof off and do as they pleased, the rest of the class had to clean and set up the lab for the day's assignment. Their science teacher, Dr. Sorrell, as he demanded to be called (there was much debate about whether he actually had a doctorate), barked at them constantly for not doing things to his specifications.
When the bell finally rang everyone took their seats to be bored by the man's biased lecture. Cory and Shawn took their usual spots near the back. Topanga sat behind them because there was only one consistently working Bunsen burner and she refused to allow faulty equipment to ruin her GPA.
Trini slid into the seat next to her and with a pop of her gum hissed, "Hey guys."
Cory glanced over his shoulder and saw her pointing to Shawn. He smacked Shawn's shoulder and nodded to the table behind them.
Turning around and talking without being an athlete was a detention-able offense in Sorrell's class so Shawn leaned back on the stool as far as he could while Trini leaned forward as far as she could. They both kept their eyes forward.
"I did what you asked, Shawnie," she smacked her gum in his ear. "But I didn't find out much."
Shawn glanced at Sorrell who droning about some experiment he did exceedingly well at in his youth. "What didja get?"
"Rave rumors came from the senior class."
"Seriously?!" His thoughts immediately went to Cory's brother.
Cory looked appalled while staring at their science teacher. "I swear if this is Eric's fault, I'll…" He scrunched up his face with great resolve. "Do something to him."
The group, including Cory, suppressed a groan. They all knew he wouldn't follow through on that threat.
Trini held her breath as Sorrell's gaze skipped over them then said, "Yeah, can't pin down a name, just the senior class."
"Well, it's something. Or nothing." Shawn figured there was no point in trying to find the culprit. The senior class was large and pinpointing someone in it would be impossible.
"There's something else."
Shawn rolled his eyes and braced for the worst.
"People are getting careless," she said. "I found four flyers on the floor between the cafeteria and here. It's only a matter of time before Feeny finds one."
The boys audible groaned drawing a sharp glare from their science who would have given them detention if he could have remembered their names. He instead he barked at the entire class that the lab would now be worth fifty percent of their grade rather than twenty.
Cory was offended that the guy couldn't remember that he saved his precious lab from burning down until he also remembered he and Shawn were the cause of that little disaster. He let out a sigh of relief that he was forgettable to teachers other than Mr. Turner and Mr. Feeny.
"But," Trini paused and held her breathe as Sorrell passed by without looking them then continued, "I'm gonna ask the new janitor to keep an eye out for the flyers and get rid of them if she finds them."
The boys exchanged doubtful looks.
"Will she do that?" Topanga asked. The new head janitor didn't exactly seem fond of people in general, kids in particular.
Trini nodded enthusiastically and popped her gum. "She likes me."
Cory and Shawn shrugged and hoped she was right.
"…full of all them Brooklyn girls. They try so hard to break out of their little worlds. You wave your hand, and they scatter like crows. They have nothing that'll ever capture your heart…"
The apartment was quiet aside from the radio blasting. Shawn was in his room presumably working on homework. Jon sat at his desk going through the papers he'd accumulated from the school day humming along while Rod Stewart crooned about a downtown train. He tapped his pen against the tabletop in rhythm to the music absently staring at the piles of paper in front of him. He had a penchant for music from the City circa 1970 to present day. Artists like Springsteen, Dylan, Joel, Simon & Garfunkel, the Ramones, all had a way of filling him with nostalgia and a longing for a youth that was best left in the past.
And made him miss a New York that no longer existed.
Jon sorted the papers into stacks according to class. As he did this, he moved some non-school related writings on his desk. Peeking out from under those stray papers was a CD case.
Jon smiled fondly at it as he picked it up. Audrey's neat script flowed across the top in black Sharpie:
Bleeker Street Boys
Below the title was a numbered list of songs by his favorite City artists. At the top was Born to Run by his all-time favorite, Bruce Springsteen. She didn't miss a single song that was a part of his youth. Nor did she miss creating a cover for the case out of a picture of the Bitter End, the City's oldest rock club where all these musicians had played. This was club Audrey's dad took him to see those musicians when he was a teen as a reward for staying out of trouble with the law.
This burned CD was also Audrey's not so subtle way of getting him to join to the last part of the twentieth century by giving up his mixed tapes. He had CDs, he just didn't care for them. Shawn had convinced him to display the CDs and hide the cassette tapes that he said were an embarrassment.
"…Will I see you tonight on a downtown train? All my dreams, all my dreams fall like rain…"
Jon's thoughts collected around Audrey and rather than try to distract himself from thinking about her he let his mind linger. Absently, he rifled through the papers to make sure he had what he wanted then stacked them together and put them under his arm.
The CD gave him an idea.
The music ended and a commercial for Action News came on. When the next song began, Jon did a little more than hum along. He wasn't a singer, but every so often when he was alone, he'd be moved enough to sing just above a lip synch.
"Listen, boy, I don't want to see you let a good thing slip away. You know I don't like watching anybody make the same mistakes I made…"
It was almost four and he and Shawn had a date with Audrey at Giants supermarket.
He smiled to himself. They were going out of their way to shop for Shawn's birthday to avoid being seen by anyone in the school district and if he was being honest, it was just a bit exhilarating sneaking around.
Tonight, anyway. If they got caught, they had a reasonable excuse and alibis with the Matthews and Lawrences who knew what they were doing after school every day until Sunday.
"…Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel. Give her every reason to accept that you're for real. Tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams…"
Suddenly, the words he was singing became clear.
"Oh, shut up, Joel!" He cursed at the radio as he stomped over to shut it off. "Who would take relationship advice from you anyway? How many times have you been married?"
He reached under the desk where the printer paper was kept to grab a few sheets. Instead of touching paper, however, he touched a hand.
Jon yanked his own hand back in startled embarrassment. When he looked up, he saw Shawn staring at him with a shocked, guilty look on his face.
They stared at each other for a long moment without saying anything. Then they zeroed in on the blue printer paper the other had reached for.
"What are you doin'?" Shawn asked gingerly pulling a few sheets away.
Jon frowned as he leaned over again to get the paper. "I need some scratch paper to take notes on. What are you doin'?"
"I need some paper to draw on."
They stared at the look of absolute guilt on the other's face.
"Okay."
"Okay."
Slowly they backed away from each other, went to their respective bedrooms, and stayed there until Audrey came over.
"I just don't want anythin' goofy lookin'," Shawn said with his arms crossed over his chest.
The trio was standing in front of the party supplies at a recently remodeled Giant's Supermarket.
"Shawn, it's Valentine's Day," Jon reminded him. "Hearts and flowers in red, white, and pink are kind of the only thing made for the day."
The teen wrinkled his nose and made a face. He was mildly offended that everything was made for girls.
"Is it the color or the hearts that are bothering you?" Audrey asked. She didn't want to rush him, but at the same time, she did need him to hurry, they had a lot to do.
"I could be a fan of fat flying babies shooting arrows laced with drugs, but it's all the pink that's killin' me," he complained, lifting up packs of streamers to look for another color. "A little is fine, but this is just too much. Where's the red?"
"I don't know," she said, helping him search. "We probably should have gotten out here earlier. A lot is gone."
She stared at all the pink balloons, then said, "How about black accents? Like we did for your invitations."
Shawn raised his eyebrows and pushed out his lips. That could work…
"We could swap out some of the pink for black and silver. Or do you want gold?"
"Silver," he said confidently.
After choosing the decorations to his satisfaction, Shawn and Jon were handed a list of items to gather while she went off to get the baking supplies and something else that Jon knew about but refused to divulge to the teen.
"Is Audrey gettin' enough ingredients for eight cakes?" Shawn asked, wrinkling his nose as he studied the list they'd been given. "I saw her list and it doesn't look it could be enough for more than two."
Jon made a face as he pushed the cart and teen down the aisle. "Audrey's not makin' you eight cakes."
Shawn stopped abruptly. "But you promised!"
"I promised you eight cakes," he reminded him, moving on without him. "I did not promise you that Audrey would make them all."
Shawn opened his mouth then shut it as he rushed to catch up. "That's not fair. You know I don't pay attention to the way things are worded, but you knew what I wanted."
"Tough luck, kid," Jon said, looking over his shoulder at the list.
"I saved your butt from Feeny. You owe me."
"Eight cakes, yes. All by Audrey, no. Too late to add to that deal."
"Boo," Shawn replied then got distracted by a display of canned frosting in front of him.
"All right," Jon said nudging the teen along by pushing the cart lightly into his back. "Aud wants you to pick out the candy you want."
Shawn glanced behind him. "We're gonna need another cart if we get what I want."
"Ha, ha," Jon retorted.
In the candy aisle they were faced with an assortment of mostly Valentine's candy. Shawn wasn't overly impressed with the offerings but what he was getting was supplemental as Audrey had already done some shopping for him at the Shane Confectionary Company.
Stopping in front of the multitude of boxed chocolates, Shawn gave a low whistle. "I still can't believe Aud hates all chocolate."
Jon rolled his eyes. "She doesn't hate all chocolate."
Shawn arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"
His teacher put a foot on the lower bar of the cart and leaned against the handlebar. "She likes white chocolate."
A smirk tugged at the corner of the teen's mouth. "How do you know?"
Jon shrugged. "I asked."
"What else do you know?" Shawn kept one eye on his teacher as he started to fill the cart with candy, not looking at what he was choosing.
"She prefers pie to cake. Key lime is her favorite then coconut cream." Jon picked up a box of chocolates, looked it over, then put it back. 'Cookies over cake, too. Pepparkakor is her favorite."
Shawn stopped and stared at him. "Pepper-what?"
"Swedish ginger snaps," he said stopping Shawn from dumping an entire display box of candy hearts into the cart. "Pay attention to what you're doin' would ya?"
Shawn gave him a sly look. Without announcing a change of subject, he asked, "Gold or silver?"
"Gold," Jon responded looking over at the boxes of Valentine's cards. "Although platinum has caught her eye lately. About the only expensive taste she has."
This expanded answer pleased Shawn who didn't bother to hide his delight. At the sharp look his teacher gave him, he asked, "How is it that you know so much about the one woman you aren't datin' but hardly anythin' about the ones you do?"
Jon gave him an annoyed look and leaned against the cart again. "What're you talkin' about?"
"I'm talkin' about how you know nothin' about the women you date. You couldn't name one thing any of them liked."
"That's not true!'
Shawn reached for the Gobstopper display. "Does Miss Tompkins like chocolate?"
Jon was not happy to hear that name for several reasons. "Yeah," he replied uncertainly.
Shawn, of course, picked up on his doubt. "Is that her favorite dessert?"
Jon put his hand on his waist and glared at the shelf of chocolate roses in front of him. "No. Ice cream," he said without confidence.
"What flavor?"
He didn't answer.
Shawn grinned gleefully. "Okay, okay. Easier question- does she like flowers at all?"
"Why are you askin' this stuff?"
"I just wanna know if you ever knew anythin' about the woman you once dated for four straight months," he said, struggling not to laugh. "I won't bring up all your lapses in judgement after that."
Jon turned his glare on his student. "You just did."
"I won't do it again," he said, shoulders shaking in amusement. "What do you remember about her?"
Jon glanced at him then started to push the cart forward. "I purposely forgot everythin' as soon as I could."
"Yeah, right," he scoffed. "You never knew."
"What is with you today, Hunter? You upset with me for a reason I don't know about?"
"No, no, just makin' a point." Shawn grabbed an armful of oversized M&M bags, half of which his teacher made him put back.
"What point is that?"
Shawn put his feet on the bottom shelf of the cart and leaned over the front of the basket. "That you know nothin' about women you date and everythin' about the one you don't."
"So what?" Jon asked grumpily. "What're you gonna do with that information?"
"Tell Audrey."
Instinctively, Jon reached out and grabbed a fistful of Shawn's shirt. "Don't you dare."
Shawn's eyes twinkled mischievously, and he gave Jon that deranged Joker grin of his. "Eight cakes made by Audrey, or I squeal like a pig."
Jon stuck his jaw out at an angle, trying to figure out how to best handle the teen without letting him know that Audrey was already making him eight cakes. Sort of.
"And how do I get her to do that without tellin' her why?"
"Not my problem, man," he grinned. "Not my problem."
Feigning frustration, Jon let go of him, and followed behind the teen, chuckling all the way.
The kid had no idea what they had planned for him.
It was after seven when the trio made it back to Jon's place. Because it had taken them so long to shop, they stopped by Chubbie's for dinner for the second night in a row. Audrey was incredibly unhappy with this as eating out was supposed to be a Friday night only thing. As soon as they made it home, she was in the storage room at the top of the short flight of stairs just before Shawn's room to dig out the crockpot Jon had used all of once. Then she was in the kitchen preparing beef stew with instructions Jon was to follow as soon as he was up in the morning.
Shortly after Audrey began the next day's meal prep, Topanga called with frantic news from Trini, who was over at her house. The news was so big it required a three-way call with Cory.
"It was huge!" Trini shouted unnecessarily into the phone. "And in the teacher's parking lot right in front of where Mr. Turner parks his Harley! Plus, this poster mentioned welcoming Franklin High students."
Shawn swore under his breath and kicked at one of the bed legs several times. "So now we know someone's doin' this to get me in trouble! Why?"
"You think someone's mad you didn't invite them?" Cory asked worriedly. Eric's school-wide rave was one thing, but a rave that encompassed two schools, one of which was across the city from theirs, was too big for Cory's liking.
"Oh, you could be onto something!" Topanga exclaimed. "Shawn, has anyone said anything to you about not getting an invitation?"
Shawn kicked his bed again before bouncing onto the center of it. "Nope. If someone's mad they're doin' a good job of keepin' it from me."
"The rave definitely started with the senior class," Trini insisted. "I asked the popular kids in the freshman class who told them. They got word of it from the popular kids in our class who heard about it from the popular juniors who…"
"Who heard about it from the popular seniors," Shawn finished pushing his hair off his face. "Then it trickled down to the rest of us."
"And now someone is blasting it all over school where Feeny is sure to see." Cory added.
"And another school, too," Topanga added dejectedly.
Shawn stared at the ceiling as all his plans for a normal birthday party and date for his teachers turned to dust. "Man, I'm gonna need a miracle to make it to Saturday without gettin' busted."
"You're gonna need a miracle to stop everyone from showing up if you don't," Trini said glibly.
Shawn groaned.
"Guys, we need help," Topanga said firmly. "We are going to get caught and, Shawn, your party will be ruined if we don't."
"You're right," Cory sighed.
"We don't have a choice," Trini added.
Shawn sat up and stared resolutely at his closet doors. "Yeah, you guys are right. I was hopin' it wouldn't come to this, but we're gonna have to do it."
"Good," Topanga said sounding relieved. "Shawn, I know this ruins your plans for Mr. Turner and Miss Andrews, but it's for the best."
"Ruin my plans?" He blinked several times at this odd statement. "Why would Harley ruin my plans? I doubt he cares about Jon and Audrey."
"Harley?" three voices shouted in alarm.
Shawn grimaced at the phone as he pulled the receiver away and rubbed his ear.
"As in Keiner?" Cory sputtered in disbelief.
"No, Harley as in Jon's bike," he shot back, annoyed with their reaction. 'Of course, Keiner!"
"Shawn." The skepticism in Topanga's voice was almost palpable. "I meant we should go to the adults."
"Look." He jumped up from the bed and began to pace. "Frankie screwed up when Eric used him as a bouncer. If I approach the brains behind Joey and Frankie and the guy whose sister is super excited for a borin' old birthday party, we might have a chance of pullin' this off."
"Yeah," Cory said his voice full of doubt and anxiety. "That'll only work if…"
"He doesn't kill you before you get your request out," Trini finished with a loud smack of gum. She gave a low whistle. "You got guts, Hunter. I'll give you that."
"Yeah," Shawn said with more confidence than he felt. "If I approach this with Harley like it's for T.K. then there'll be no problem and I'll have you guys with me in case somethin' happens."
He was surprised not to hear any agreement. Silence filled his ear as though someone had cut his line.
Shawn frowned. "Right, guys?"
No one said anything.
He flicked the phone with his finger. "Guys?"
Trini's gum chewing was the only thing that told him they were still there.
"Oh, come on!" he huffed in frustration. "Cory, you'll at least be hidin' in a locker, won't you?"
"A locker?' His best friend perked up at this. "Oh, sure. Yeah, that I can do."
"Shawn." The disapproval in Topanga's voice was strong. "We've only got tomorrow and Friday. If Harley makes this worse…"
"I'm in too deep to back out now, Topanga."
She groaned.
"Good luck, Hunter," Trini said, popping her gum again. "You're gonna need it."
"Blondes, Jonny. Two of them. Twins. Twin nurses."
Eli was leaning on his elbows against the kitchen island holding up two fingers and beaming a hopeful smile at his best friend.
Jon paused his prepping of the salads for Audrey's next day crockpot dinner to roll his eyes at the man who had spent the last half hour pleading with him to join him on a Valentine's Day outing to a New York nightclub.
"Party, Eli. My kid's. Saturday. Turnin' fifteen."
"Come on, man!" Eli pushed away from the island with one arm and scowled "Don't you get tired of playing Dad all day, every day?"
Jon shrugged noncommittally and ignored the question. "I told Shawn I'd be there."
The media arts teacher shook his head in exasperation. "He's gonna be fifteen, Jon. No fifteen-year-old wants Dad hanging around a dance when he's got a chance to make out with pretty girls. Especially Shawn."
"He's changed a lot, Eli," he told him.
So have I, he thought and turned his attention back to cutting the cucumbers.
"Aren't we talking about the kid who lied about bringing a girl back here alone? What was her name? Betty?"
Jon frowned for a moment then closed his eyes trying to figure out what Eli was talking about.
"Veronica," he corrected.
"I was close. I knew it was one of Archie's girlfriends."
Jon laughed.
"Jonny, I need you Saturday night."
"I told Shawn I'd be there, Eli. I have to be there."
Eli groaned. "You're boring, Jon. I hate to say it, but you are boring."
"Why?" he asked. "Because I'm not out every single night with a new woman?"
"Yes," Eli responded seriously. "And you could be."
"You cannot possibly be havin' that much trouble findin' someone to talk to you!"
His best friend straightened his collar clearly offended. "It's not finding someone to talk to me that's the problem."
Jon shook his head and put the vegetables he'd finished chopping into Tupperware containers.
"Jonny, please. I have to have a date for Bianca's sister, or she won't go out with me."
"This sounds like some nonsense Shawn and Cory would get involved in," he observed as he put the containers in the refrigerator.
Eli's eyes narrowed as he gave him a sideways look. "It's the same nonsense we were involved in just two years ago."
Jon grabbed a rag from the sink. "Am I your only friend?"
"No," Eli paused. Puckering up the best expression of charm he could manage, he said sweetly, "But you are my prettiest."
Jon made a face as he wiped down the counter and cutting board. "That is just sad."
"Please?"
"No."
Eli gave a disgruntled sigh and rapped his knuckles on the freshly cleaned counter. "You are dull and drab my friend. You need some color in your life, Jon. I am trying to do you a favor."
"No, you're desperate and headin' toward pathetic." Jon remarked with a chuckle. He let the cold, soapy water out of the sink. "And tryin' to get yourself a favor."
"You need color in your life, man," Eli said again.
Before he could continue, the door to the apartment opened and Audrey walked in, back from a run to the corner convenience store for the few items they forgot at the supermarket.
I got all the color I need right there, Jon thought with a slight smile as he watched her toss her hair over her shoulder.
"Hi, Eli," Audrey said kissing the media arts teacher on the cheek as she walked by him.
"Hey, Aud," Eli jumped up and followed her. "Please tell this man to get a life."
"Excuse me?" she laughed opening the refrigerator door to put away the milk she'd bought.
"What are you doin' for Valentine's Day?"
She shut the door and gave Jon a funny look, then looked at Eli. "I'll be at Shawn's party."
Eli's jaw dropped in surprise. "Not you too?" He slapped a hand against the side of his face.
She looked back and forth between the men not sure of what she's missed. "Not me too what?"
"You're a twenty-year-old college kid, Audrey," Eli sighed wearily. "Why are you chaperoning a teenager's party on the most romantic night of the year?"
Audrey made a face and stood by Jon. "Shawn asked me to."
Eli stared at the people in front of him in disbelief. "What is wrong with you two?"
"What?" they responded together.
He closed his eyes and tilted his head back as though he was dealing with stubborn teens. "Somehow you two have become the most boring people I've ever known. You stay in. You do family stuff. I bet you even go to bed before 9 pm. You acted like married parents of a teenager!"
Internally Jon cringed and tried to mentally send Eli a message to shut up. While the comment didn't sit well with him, he knew it would upset Audrey.
"Someone has to," she snapped bluntly. She threw her hair out of the way, opened the refrigerator, and began to rearrange everything inside.
Eli immediately got her point and backed off. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "No fun for you two until the kid's grown. Or his parents grow up. Whichever happens first."
"Any other night, Eli," Jon said. "Not the kid's birthday."
"Any other night?" Eli gave him a smirk.
Jon struggled not to look at Audrey to see if she was paying attention. Although Eli knew about Audrey's time with them after school, he was under the impression that, because he had lived with Audrey's father for a while, he saw her as a little sister. It was an odd conclusion to come to since Eli had teased them both about their relationship early on, but Jon did nothing to dispel this idea. Letting him think that was easier for now.
Nodding he said seriously, "Any other night... after the kid's grown."
Eli rolled his eyes and laughed as he stood up. "Okay, okay. I'll have to find someone to Pygmalion for the night."
Jon laughed and folded his arms over his chest. "Do you even have other friends?"
"Not in Philly," the media arts teacher sniffed, pretending to be upset. "If I was back in the City, I wouldn't need you. I know lot of people back there better looking than you."
Audrey, no longer irritated with him, rejoined them. Eli came around the corner of the counter and put an arm across her shoulders.
"Aud, if you ever want me to introduce you to someone's who's pretty when you go home, I'd be happy to set you up." Eli told her while looking Jon dead in the eyes.
Jon didn't respond other than to stare back at him.
Audrey ignored them both. "Do you want to stay for a late dessert and a movie?"
Eli shook his head and dropped his arm. "No, thanks. I like you guys and Shawn, but family life will never be for me."
Once the media arts teacher was gone, Jon was reminded of something he needed to do for Saturday night. While Audrey was double checking to make sure everything was ready for the crockpot in the morning, Jon grabbed the phone from its base and snuck off to his bedroom.
Sitting on his bed, he was about to dial the number of a local florist when he heard Shawn's distraught voice on the line.
"I still don't know how I'm supposed to get rid of everybody who's determined to ruin my night."
"Yeah," Cory sighed. "Trying to get the adults away is going to be hard."
Jon suppressed a groan as disappointment settled over him. He really thought that Shawn was going to follow the rules this time around. With a frown, he placed his hand over the mouthpiece so he wouldn't be heard and settled in to listen.
If Shawn was going to be devious, so was he.
"I've got your mom, Dana's mom, and Miss Tompkins all with their stupid plans for Jon on Saturday and I have got to get rid of them."
That was not what Jon expected to hear. His frown of disapproval turned to confusion.
"I'm surprised Mr. Williams doesn't have a date set up for Mr. Turner, too," Cory sighed. "Seems like something he'd do."
Smart kid, he thought. Jon leaned back on the pillows and listened to Shawn detail the plans that had been made for him by others. He became extremely uncomfortable with what the kids were saying was going on behind his back. Not one of these people had informed him about these plans.
Well, it was possible that Amy said something about a friend of hers from work. That did seem familiar. He really should pay more attention when she talked about her friends before he ended up agreeing to something he really didn't want to do. And he was pretty sure he did agree to go out with a friend of hers.
Jon put his hand over his mouth and groaned again.
"Shawn, don't you think you should tell Mr. Turner about this?" Topanga asked.
How many people is he talkin' to? he wondered before realizing she was probably at Cory's house.
"No!" Shawn said emphatically. "No, I don't want Jon involved. I don't wanna risk him gettin' talked into anythin'. It'd ruin everythin'."
Jon was surprised by this intense reaction. He knew Shawn wanted him at the party, but he had no idea how important it really was to him that he was there.
"What about Brad?" Cory asked. "What if he has something planned for Miss Andrew?"
"Won't matter," Shawn said confidently. "He made her so mad at lunch today I thought she was gonna stab him with his own fork."
Jon snickered loudly at this.
"What was that?" Topanga asked worriedly.
"My dumb brother," Cory mumbled then raised his voice and yelled, "ERIC, GET OFF THE PHONE!"
Five people rubbed their ears from the shouting, including Cory who forgot to move the phone before he yelled.
"Have you figured out how to get him and Miss Andrews to the Poe House?" Trini asked.
Jon sat up suddenly when he heard Audrey's name.
"Not exactly," Shawn admitted, "But after talkin' to Maudie this mornin' I have a real good idea how to do it."
Jon closed his eyes and tried to do some simple math that quickly became complex. There were at least four kids setting him and Audrey up, three adults with plans for him, and, from the sound of it, at least two other kids and possibly six other adults who knew.
Can that be right?
He closed his eyes and rubbed his temple with his thumb to ward off the headache he could feel coming on.
He needed help.
Quickly and quietly, he left his bedroom and went into the kitchen. He got Audrey's attention and motioned her over. When she got close enough, he put his arm around her and held the phone so they could both hear the teens' conversation.
"I have to fix this myself. Jon and Audrey can't find out," Shawn said anxiously. "I can't screw up the party or Valentine's for my par- "he paused and took a deep breath before self-consciously correcting himself "my people. Somehow I have to fix this big, fat mess."
Audrey looked up at him with wide eyes. Jon hid the phone under the couch cushions rather than hanging up so he didn't alert the kids that they'd been listening.
"So what are these plans that have been made for you?" Audrey asked crossing her arms over her waist.
Jon sat on the back of the couch. "Apparently, Amy, Susan, and Kat are plannin' on me spendin' Valentine's Day with them."
"Amy?" she asked incredulously.
"She has a work friend she wants me to go out with."
"Oh, Brenda Marsh, right."
Jon stared at her for a moment. He didn't recognize the name. "Sure."
He reached his hand out to her and when she took it, he turned her around, and pulled her close. Resting his chin on her shoulder he told her. "He's also tryin' to set us up."
Audrey smiled and shook her head as the purpose of all the secret admirer notes was becoming clear. "Shawn's not going to be able to stop this. There's only two days left. I mean, he might get Amy to break Brenda's date if he takes a direct approach."
"He won't," Jon sighed. "He'll come up with some elaborate scheme that will blow up on him in the worst way."
"Then we'll just have to help him," she said putting her hands on top of his.
She leaned her head back so Jon could look into gray eyes that were clearly plotting something.
"What're you thinkin'?"
"I'm thinking," she turned in his arms and pressed her forehead against his. "That we quietly give Shawn a little help. Clean up after him. Maybe get ahead of him and clear the path some."
"And we don't say a word about it?" he asked with an arched brow. A sly smile danced on his lips.
Audrey put her finger up so that it was pressed against both his lips and hers.
She grinned.
"Not a word."
While Jon and Audrey get to work, Shawn goes to Harley and finds a surprise ally in him. Dana returns wanting to make amends while T.K. provides some startling observations about his girlfriend that make Shawn second guess everything about their relationship.
*In regard to Jon's remark about Billy Joel: by 1995, Billy Joel was finished with his second marriage to supermodel Christie Brinkley. They divorced on August 26, 1994.
Jon's musical hero, Bruce Springsteen, was also married twice. However, as of this writing, his marriage to Patti Scialfa is still going strong. Married in 1991, the couple has been together since 1988.
Thank you so much for spending some time with me. I hope you are enjoying the story. :)
