"I hope you find a way to be yourself someday/ In weakness or in strength/ Change can be amazing […] I wish you could be honest with me/ Always chasing dreams/ Why'd you stick around?/ Why'd you stay with me?"-Honest, The Neighbourhood


Chapter 12

It was the day of the trial. Rey had not come to see me; I doubted she would come to see me before I was sent off. Maybe that's why she apologized yesterday, because she could no longer stand to be around me. I understood. I couldn't stand to be around me, either.

The droids came to bathe me and pull out all of the needles that had been in various parts of my body during the past couple of days. The bacta patches on most of my body could come off, except for one on two of my ribs and, of course, on my broken leg.

When I was made to stand, I felt weak. It was a disgusting feeling, and I made myself not call on the Force to help me keep my balance. My broken leg still felt tender, like if I put too much weight on it, it might shatter all over again. I stood heavily on my other leg.

The droids also brought me clothing, and of course, they had brought me black garb. Almost too similar to what I had worn when I saw Rey on the Supremacy not so long ago, before we had killed Snoke. I was also brought in a cane, which I tried to deny needing, but the droids did not notice my ire. Instead, they stripped the bed and moved the equipment I had been hooked up to out of the room, leaving me alone, standing, with the cane propped up against the now-barren bed.

It wasn't too long before Chewie entered, a blaster slung across his back, and he held shackles in his hands. I noticed with a bit of preening that the shackles emitted a soft purple glow from the inside, obviously meant to attempt to control a Force user. As if that even how using the Force worked, that it could be controlled simply around the wrists.

"So, kid," Chewie started, looking solemn. "I'm here to take you to the council." I nodded in agreement, put my wrists together, and held them in front of me. Chewie hesitated.

"It's going to be that easy, huh?" he asked incredulously. I shrugged.

"I'm a changed man," I admitted, not denying myself a drip of sarcasm from the sentence. "I accept this. I deserve it. I'm not going to fight-I don't want to." I was serious now. Chewie could tell that by looking in my eyes, it seemed, because after staring at me for a parsec he shackled me gently. Well, as gently as a Wookie can.

He prodded me out of the doorway, and I was surprised to see how industrial the base was. The med-bay hallways was all artificial lighting and concrete. I don't know what I was expecting, but I guess I assumed it would be more like a guerrilla base. Very rudimentary. This base was not that-it wasn't as polished as the Order, but it wasn't as rundown as I assumed it would be.

As Chewie walked me out of the med-bay, I was enveloped in a thick humidity, and the sunlight shone down on me, warm and light. Just like her, I thought with tenderness, but quickly shoved that thought out of my mind. If I was going to be starved of her for the rest of my life, I needed to start getting used to her absence now.

The base was surrounded by lush greenery, and Resistance equipment and members were scattered around, relaxing, working, talking amongst themselves. So unlike the Order. I was thankful Rey had such a sense of comradery here.

As soon as we were outside, and people took notice of me, they either shut up or practically shoved the person next to them, whispering and pointing at me. Some paled at the sight of me. Some looked at me with unbridled anger, some with anxious curiosity. I just looked ahead, letting Chewie direct me to where ever it was we were going.

After only a couple of minutes of walking, and no sight of Rey amongst the crowds of people, I had noticed, we approached a grey door that led to a concrete building that was surprisingly small. Obviously, this was literally just a meeting room. Chewie punched a code into the holopad next to the door, and we stepped inside a well-lit, official-looking space.

My mother sat behind a semicircle podium that stretched halfway across the small room. She was in the middle, flanked by various races of humanoids that would be judging me this day. A couple I recognized from my mother's Senator days, some I didn't know. There were about six of them, and they all spoke in Standard, and didn't bother ending their conversation when we walked in. Only my mother was not involved in the talking. About five Resistance members in uniforms were lined up behind Chewie and I, their backs to that wall, and it was clear they were meant to intervene if I tried anything untoward. Even though I did not intend to, it would take more than five non-Force users to take me down.

When the door closed behind us, the council members casually concluded their conversations, and faced me. I stood up a bit straighter. Chewie moved to my side a bit, and I realized he had been carrying my cane this whole time. I was actually sort of grateful, because I had been struggling not to limp, and my leg was definitely hurting now.

As if he could sense it, he handed me the cane. I hated using it, hated to look weak in front of anyone, but accepted it bashfully. It did help take the pressure off of the broken leg.

"Ben Solo," one council member began. It was an ithorian. "You've been brought before this council to be tried for your crimes against the galaxy." His deep, gravelly voice seemed to boom in the small room.

"Formerly know as Kylo Ren, son of Han Solo and Leia Organa, nephew of Luke Skywalker, grandson of Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker," an elderly twi'lek woman began. "Also know as Darth Vader. Your role in the First Order as apprentice to Supreme Leaders Snoke and Palpatine, and your own position as Supreme Leader, as well as leader of the Knights of Ren, has brought you here before this council in the Resistance's victory against the First Order in this great war." She spoke with an air of authority, and I wondered if they had prepared such monotonous, hegemonic speeches. We all knew what was going to happen by the end of this meeting, so just get on with it.

"Ben Solo, you have been accounted for the deaths of thousands, either by your hand or by your order," a gran began, his voice thick with an accent. "Those deaths ordered by your predecessors have not been held against you, although it is acknowledged your compliance with them."

"You have also been charged for terrorizing the greater galaxy for years," a mon calamari was speaking now. "And for the displacement of several thousands of beings across the galaxy, particularly on previous Resistance base planets. Your volatile endeavours as a Sith in training violate several acts within the Senate Conventions, namely those that directly infringe upon the Senate Charter." To have my crimes thrown in my face in such a...detached manner unnerved me. I deserved far worse than being told the names of the orders I had disregarded in the eyes of the law. I deserved much, much worse for what I had done. Who I had been.

"The council has convened on the matter of your punishment by these Resistance forces," the last council member was speaking, a bothan this time. "And has decided upon the matter with a unanimous effort." The council members nodded, almost in unison. "However, in the procession of the order of things, you are allowed witnesses to stand in testimony of your case. You are also allowed your own testimony, and if you wish, you may argue your case now. If not, you may plead guilty to the charges and a sentencing will be read. Your case is very particular in the sense that it is not being carried out with total autonomy, but these basic rights are still be applied." They were really reading from the manual, huh?

I noticed my mother was staring at me, looking very sorrowful, and I felt a need to try to defend myself, for her sake. To show these people, her friends and colleagues, that she hadn't brought such a monstrosity to this galaxy. I think part of the sorrow in her eyes was what I agreed with: there was no defending me, though. I had been a tool of destruction. I deserved no shield.

"I do not wish to argue any case, and I have no witnesses." I spoke calmly. "You may proceed as you wish-" the door whooshed open quickly, almost as if someone was also pushing it open.

That's when I felt it, before I saw her. I would know that presence, that bright Force signature anywhere.

I almost broke into a stunned grin when I whipped my head around to see Rey, her hair a bit wild, slightly out of breath. She was trailing someone behind her, who I could not see, but the person was quite small.

"Rey, what are you doing? You can't be here-" my mother was standing up, trying to shoo Rey out from behind the podium. The rest of the council looked taken aback. The guards were all surprised to see her, as well. She didn't have to be sorry, now. She had fulfilled her promise to save me simply by letting me see her face now.

"I'm sorry General," Rey breathed out. "But it's not true. Ben does have a witness. Two of them, actually." I turned to see the council quite confused.

"Who might that be?" the bothan asked. Rey stepped forward, and from behind her, I recognized the ancient, wise woman who I had seen several times over the course of my life. She winked at Chewie before looking at the rest of the council, and finally landing her eyes on me.

"Ah, there's Han's boy," Maz Kanata said cheerily, like she was greeting an old friend. "Let's sort this trial business out, shall we?"


Tracking down Maz had been easy enough-it turned out she was here on base, but she had kind of been wandering around the greater area. When I asked around about her, people said she was tracking the local fauna, or meditating, or resurrecting old gods, or some other very odd, very Maz activity.

I had found her in the jungle, not too far from my old training course, by following her very distinct energy in the Force. When she saw me, she was ecstatic, congratulating me, pulling my face down to look at her, apologizing for not coming to find me earlier (apparently, a certain plant here produced a spice she had been missing back on Takodana, and that's why she was rummaging around out here-very important business).

When she looked in my eyes, she knew I was troubled. It didn't take much explanation, or much convincing, to get her to understand my situation with Ben. She was more than willing to help, believing me absolutely when I proclaimed that it was unfair that Ben was being tried. Plus, she would get to see Chewie, which was always an incentive.

By the time we got to the council meeting, it was decided-Maz would read Ben, and I would testify his altered nature. Together, we would convince the council that Ben could not be sent off for life. I would keep him within arms' reach.

Ben looked surprised to see me, curious to see Maz, but he was radiating a calm, if not buoyant energy. That was good. I kept my end of the bond closed, though, as I needed to focus. I couldn't be busy thinking about his thoughts, or how he was reacting to my own. We'd have time for that later when he was granted clemency.

"Maz Kanata," a mon calamari exclaimed. "What a pleasant surprise to see you here. We were not expecting you."

"Well, I wasn't expecting me, either, but the Force works in mysterious ways," she talked as though this was a regular day back at her old watering hole.

"Rey claims you are to be a witness for Ben Solo?" a gran asked. Maz nodded.

"Yes, I am," she assured the group, and my eyes moved to Ben's for just a parsec, to see his eyebrows go up in surprise.

"What are you here to testify?" An ithonian asked.

"I'm here to testify to his eyes," Maz answered coolly, like that was a totally normal response. The council seemed to be aware of Maz's talent, for they did not make any odd expressions.

"By all means, go ahead," an elderly twi'lek woman spoke gently. Without further ado, Maz walked over to Ben, to stand at his side, and he moved to face his body to hers. She cocked her head to the side, gesturing for him to get down to her eye level.

"Ah, Maz," Ben began. "That may be difficult..." he looked down at his cane, which I had not noticed. Was his leg okay? Why did he need a cane? Was he in pain? They should probably let him sit down...

Focus, Rey. You have business to do.

Maz huffed in agreement, and beckoned a guard forward.

"A chair please, as tall as you have in this room." She ordered. In a flash, a Resistance member had brought forth a very tall stool, which in no way really helped Maz reach Ben's eye level, as he towered above her, but if he bent down, it worked out.

Maz took her time, looking at Ben. She prodded at his face, his shoulders, his hair. Ben looked uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as Finn had looked when Maz did the same to him. Ben had probably had this happen before in his life. Maybe this brought back bad memories, or maybe Ben didn't want someone to be able to read him like Maz was doing, and oh Maker I had probably made such a huge mistake by assuking this could be helpful-

Thank you, Rey, Ben's voice floated down the vine of the bond. I snapped my eyes to his, and he let his stray from Maz to glance at me, and in his eyes I felt assurance. This was helping, and Ben was grateful. His eyes said it all, in their honey-brown depths. I nodded ever so slightly so that only he could tell, and he turned his eyes back to Maz, who was looking at him in intense concentration.

"Council, I'm afraid I was wrong," Maz announced. My stomach dropped. What did she mean? She said she would help us! "I thought I was going to meet a changed man. And this man is beyond changed-he is a wholly different being from what he once was."

"Maz, with all due respect, the law must try him, we cannot let him go on something so arbitrary-" the ithonian was on the offensive.

"Well, Senator Elkiner, with all due respect, we know my skill has been tried and true for hundreds of years," Maz refuted. "And I'm telling you now what I see in this man, what I see in this new person: punishing Ben Solo, the man you see before you, in the name of Kylo Ren, would be just as unlawful as imprisoning an innocent man chosen at random." My heart was picking up speed. I held my breath.

"Well," the ithonian, Senator Elkiner, scoffed. "What do you suppose we do about him?" Maz shrugged.

"I am not a politician, or a lawmaker," Maz offered. "But I am a sage, and I know that this man does not deserve this unlawful trial. This man does not deserve life in prison for the crimes of another." Ben and Maz were both looking ahead, at the council.

An air of change was in the room now, and I exhaled a deep breath, feeling like my plan had worked out.

Or, was working out so far.


Rey had really done it, hadn't she? She had found who was likely the only person to convince the council my innocence-even if I wasn't truly innocent. But if it meant I'd get to be around Rey, I'd allow it. I'd find some way to punish myself later.

"The fact remains, he has to be given some sort of punishment," the bothan said. "He is still the same man in some ways, and the public won't take it kindly if he is given total freedom after everything that has transpired." There were murmurs around the podium.

"Is my witness testimony necessary?" Rey asked, suddenly. I did not turn to face her, trying to look very poised in front of this group of people who were now deciding my fate, deciding if I would ever see Rey again or not. The council seemed to have forgotten Rey was even here, if such a thing was possible.

"I do not think so," the elderly twi'lek woman spoke to Rey gently. "Maz is quite...skilled at what she does. Her testimony is as strong as ten testimonies combined," the woman's eye's crinkled as she spoke, in humor. "We thank you for bringing her forth and for offering your word, however." Rey did not respond, so I assumed she must have nodded in agreement or something, because the council was focused on me again.

"What else could we sentence him to? A fine? That's all we're going to give him?" Elkiner did not like me. I understood, though.

"We could give him a shorter prison sentence? Perhaps a couple of Standard decades..." the mon calamari spoke, thinking out loud.

"No, no," Maz shook her head. "Ben Solo is innocent. He deserves no punishment." Elkiner gave an exasperated sigh.

"He may be changed, but he's still the same...physical vessel," he gestured vaguely to me. "That is merit enough for punishment, if apparently non of his other transgressions are."

"It's not that simple, Senator Elkiner," Maz spoke with a warning tone, as if her patience was wearing.

"We could make him work to pay reparations?" The mon calamari truly was trying to come up with a viable solution.

"He would not even be able to live long enough to make that much," the bothan muttered, and the council did seem to agree. My mother was oddly silent, looking at Rey with no expression, and I wondered if Rey noticed. How odd.

"What are we to do?" The gran asked, as if we weren't already discussing that.

"I have an idea," my mother said, making everyone turn to look at her, as if she had just appeared. She moved her eyes slowly to land on Maz's.

"What is that, General?" the twi'lek asked in curiosity.

"Servitude to the Resistance for a to-be-determined amount of time, in the field, and then the final part of his punishment." She spoke with that Senator voice I had heard so much growing up.

"I think we should stop calling it a punishment," Maz said.

"Well, there's no word for this," the gran said matter-of-factly.

"What will the latter part of his...bargain be?" The twi'lek asked in genuine interest. There was a pause.

"Exile." My mother said plainly, looking at me now, her eyes no longer holding sorrow, but an emotion I could not place at the moment. Was it hope?

In my own thinking, I had missed the moment of silence that had befallen the council, until the twi'lek woman broke it with a single word.

"Agreed." What? Was it going to be that simple? Wasn't exile and life imprisonment basically the same thing? Two sides of the same coin and all that?

"Agreed." The bothan said confidently. Where would they even send me? What work would I have to do for the Resistance? Not that I minded doing it, but would I still get to see Rey? Would I get to see her in exile? Wasn't the whole point of exile not getting to see the ones you loved, having no comfort?

"Agreed." The gran spoke up.

"Agreed." The mon calamari grunted out in satisfaction.

"No one is going to question the validity of Maz's testimony?" Elkiner asked incredulously.

"We all know there's no point in that," the twi'lek woman looked over at him. He paused, his mouth agape. He looked at each member. He shut his mouth with a snap, and frowned.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Agreed."

And with that, Rey had saved me once again. Not that I cared too much about the punishment itself in the first place, just as long as I got to see her. The chance to see her.

Regardless of what this new deal had in store for me, she had bought me more time. She had bought us more chances.


I sighed in deep relief when it was decreed that Ben would be required to work in the field with the Resistance for as long as he was needed, and then sent to exile. I would get to my feelings about exile later-right now I could just be happy I still had time with him.

Chewie took the shackles off of Ben, and before I knew it, the three of us, along with Maz were outside, hidden behind a wall of the meeting building. I couldn't stop myself. I hurled myself at Ben in a tight hug around his trim waist, burying my face into his shoulder. He smelled of amber and cotton and Ben.

"Oh, Ben!" I exclaimed, and I felt his arms were up, hovering above me, not touching me. He probably didn't want my hug, so I casually let go and stood back, trying not to look super pathetic. I looked at the ground to compose myself, then looked up at him.

He was looking down at me with a mixture of confusion and wonder in his eyes, and he put his arms back down by his side, one hand grabbing his cane where it had fallen against the wall when I collided into him. I smiled.

"It worked," I grinned. "I knew it would work." Ben smiled faintly.

"I didn't deserve that," he said lightly, but I knew in a much more painful sense how deeply he really meant that.

"Yes, you do," I confirmed, and said it so firmly that he should know better than to try to refute me.

Before he could speak, I noticed Maz and Chewie had been walking away, off toward a group of people, but I couldn't care, because Ben was no longer in danger of being in prison. I was no longer in danger of him being ripped away from me right now.

General Organa stepped out of the chamber, and walked over to us where we were standing. She looked at Ben with a motherly smile, then to me, looking proud.

"I would say 'thank you', Rey, but there are no words for my gratitude for you bringing Maz to that meeting," she praised me, and I blushed shyly. "I never would have thought of that."

"Well, anything for the man who saved my life," I looked up at Ben with a smile. He shifted uncomfortably, and I wondered if his leg was okay.

"I know you two probably want to catch up, but you still have a job to do in the hangar today," she told me, and I nodded once. I hated to not be able to be with him right now, but he probably needed to rest, and there was lots of broken junk in that hangar that only a real scavenger could fix.

"Of course, General," I agreed. I turned to Ben to nod my 'goodbye', but before I could turn away, he spoke.

"Wait, Rey," he called to me with urgency. I turned to look at him. His eyes looked at me so kindly. He hesitated, and I brought my eyebrows up slightly in question. He opened his mouth to speak, but faltered. He closed his mouth, and tried again. "Thank you."

"Of course," I told him.

"Will you come find me? When you're done?" he asked it like it was the only thing he could ever want. It made my heart flutter.

"Yes, of course," I tried to sound nonchalant. I smiled and turned to leave again.

"Yes, you will need to see each other today," General Organa spoke loud enough so I could hear. "Seeing as you'll be off to Coruscant soon, on Resistance orders." That made me stop in my tracks. I turned to look at the pair behind me.

"We're going to Coruscant? Together?" Ben was looking down at his mother. She looked up at him and rolled her eyes.

"Yes, together," she confirmed. My heart was doing full-blown summer saults. "And soon. I give it a couple of Standard days, maximum. Rey, come by my chambers later for a briefing. You'll find it won't just be my son joining you on this mission." Ben and I looked at each other. With no words to come up with, I turned away to walk to the hangar.

Ben and I, on a mission together, in the field, for the Resistance, in Coruscant, together.

This could either go like my wildest dreams, or could turn them all into crumbling nightmares.